Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
Can women feel like they are not enough to provide for a man meaning the way they look or keeping up with being young? I mean money for men and youth for women is a comparable thing
Choose a man with an abundant spirit , who is generous regardless of how much he has, and treats you like a queen. Circumstances change, but good people are priceless.
As a widow I have been forced to go more and more to my masculine side. Solve my own problems, keep up my home, do all errands, no one to depend on except myself. I do not like it. I have to keep reminding myself of my femininity because not only do men in my decade (my seventies) do not marry, they do not even exert the energy to date. Men are goal oriented and if they do not intend to marry, why should they date? So women are forced to advance into old age without an intimate partner. 1/3 of parents are alienated from their adult children so they do not even have those relationships. It is really sad that we do not have someone to hold us, hug us, be our soft place to land, and to be reassured.
Hi I hear you @teresamacey4012 ❤ Blessings, we have lived in masculine culture for decades now. This culture does not generally value the Femi ine. But there are exceptions to the rule for men who are too selfish and lazy and immature to appreciate the company of a beautiful mature goddess. I wish you well to let him find you ❤❤❤
Date younger men. Problem solved. Date online and take precautions about catfish, robbers and narcissists but young men are looking for older women these days.
@@Screenplaywriter I did that for while but did not have positive experiences. I have laid my desire at God's altar. He knows me and my needs better than I so I trust Him to find a mate if He wills. I have found God is sufficient to meet my needs and He fills every void.
Funny story to tell everyone here, I recently met with Dr John Gray, I was at a local event here in Burbank Los Angeles, He was scheduled to give a talk there as a main speaker. I was merely walking to My vehicle in the parking lot as he was exiting his vehicle in front of the hotel. I said hi Mr Gray he said hi, who are you, introduced Myself, I complimented him on his work and books, he said tell what most has helped you or that you liked most? At that moment everything I had known about his work disappeared lol We both laughed together, I said men, women, ya know lol relationship stuff. Well it was a great exchange experience with a wonderful man. I should have asked for a picture together as a fan although I’m from New York & I don’t do that at all lol
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Ok look at it from this perspective. You might love her. But you can't get over her because your ego was hurt. That's about it🤷🏽♀️ Happens a lot. Men don't get over women who hurt their egos. Because how dare she?🤪jokes aside. You will be fine😉time heals
Omg the comment about roses sent to the office on Valentines Day hit me... the years I was single it really upset me going home on the train and seeing all the bouquets. I ended up always taking Feb 14th off during those years!!! Lol. Seems so sad to me now that Im older and wiser! Wish I could give the younger me a hug and tell her its ok, you will be ok, you can buy your own flowers ❤
Gosh....it takes time to overcome our own childhood conditioning...to get to handle our emotions..self recognition and making one self happy..that 80%... then aspire as a couple for a 100
I do not get word "needy". when I miss someone, want someone, love someone I need them in my life and I want to take care of that person. This person is so special to me. My life is pretty good and I do not have a victim mentality. And I am sorry but you cannot have a good life when you are not fulfilled and not loved. We need to stop pretending that being single is somehow a beautiful thing. A typical post modern attitude. Bonding and loving someone is not being needy.
Men bonds in a different way. I suggest you look for the podcast of Dr. John Gray about the nature & influence of estrogen hormones in women, & testosterone in men. Look it up, & it will make sense to you. Don't stop here, that knowledge will do you a huge favor, & i said this with care.
Amen! Besides, most healthy males like it when women are clingy and needy. To a healthy extent. Not in a super crazy way. But they LOVE to feel desired by their women. So this modern teaching is toxic, and John Gray is NOT the end all be all. He is a guideline. Not THE LINE. He's not right about everything. But he has good insight. I've spoken to enough beautiful healthy men (because that is who I attract) to know EXACTLY what they like and want. So I'd consider myself an expert on men and women. Seek and you shall find. ✨️ 😊 ❤
I agree and so will Dr. Tutkin. I like the two fox in the whole analogy. Curiosity comes from a place of calm. When the relationship is safe, you can envision future, hope and be creative. This whole do not expect much from men is the result of men becoming less giving, less committing and so on. When that happens, then you have a bunch of sad women, so the modern philosophy is why be sad, love yourself. Then men who come out of marriages start dating and realize how many women are out there single and trying to hook a man with sex and think they are a prize. Then as they have a dozen of empty relationships they realize that it is not that simple to keep a woman in love and decide not to settle and go through serial monogamy, uncommitted legally. What can you do? What is there to do? Women just keep dating and dating and dating, sometimes more than 2 men at a time. I think before we quit this dating life, we should practice communicating positively. Use the men sort of speak to learn assertive positive communication to give every good man we meet who became spoiled by the dating market an opportunity to feel successful with you by pleasing you with your small positive demands. That can be fun. You have nothing to loose. At the end you just will be single, just as you are in an empty uncommitted relationship.
Dear John, I started reading your books in the 1990s. The knowledge you provide has been incredibly useful throughout the years. I love your stories, and glad you told two of my favorites today. The one about the milk, I will never forget. I had someone special in my life from 2003-2011. We were good friends initially, then, after two years became romantic. Neither of our lives were settled at that time but we did spend every weekend together. We had no goals just enjoying each other's company. We had some sex but I was going through menopause and he had to take medication for depression which he thought affected his sex drive. We enjoyed, so much, our time together. We both were aware and thoughtful of each other. I felt so safe with him and over time I came to see his heart; that he did things for me often which I began to notice. He would comment that he had little to give me of a material nature, but I did not care. I appreciated his attention. his creativity and his intention. I welcomed him always, and he me, even if we disagree about something. I felt very equal to him, but different. I think we would have married, when we were ready. That time had not arrived yet. Then he passed on in 2011. I always feel him with me still. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗. I know now how it feels to be equal but different, one man and one woman, with reverence for esch other. This all took place at Fort Funston and on Mt. Tam, so we were neighbours. All the best to you, and your sweetheart.and your continuing career. ❤️
Very powerful Thanks ❤️ I live my life with my man of 9 month. He has redecorated and updated my house, I watch and appreciate him sooo much and he just keeps on giving. I want to he his wife. It is scary to be treated so well. Ist husband I stayed fir kids an fir family and church people. I have found the live if my life and am not even married yet. 😅😂❤❤❤. I'm enjoying my life. Over time I'll marry. Wow
I really appreciated this conversation. I especially appreciated when Dr. Gray mentioned that we don't know what we don't know. But it is important to evaluate how we contributed to our past relationships. I am 38 years old and can definitely look at my previous relationship and see where I made some significant mistakes. I do think that it is difficult to find someone whose values align who is marriage (commitment)? positive. It is a fine line between needing and being needy; which coupled with everything else just makes dating exhausting! If you are an educated woman with a full life; then you are too independent. I would definitely like to find my person; be married and have children. Thank you for this discussion.💝✨
@@nathlinawilliams6658 it’s definitely not easy, now we live together and still not married so we keep the law of chastity. So no being intimate till we’re married. It’s not easy because I’m extremely attracted to him.
“A woman cannot maker her husband happier than he makes her.” By Bill Taylor (MIT) and his wife, Roberta, who write books about marriage. He teaches in my church at times.
What dr. John Gray describe women feeling stressed Brenda husband there's no love is exactly what I felt in my marriage now I understand why both of my children didn't think I loved them which I absolutely would've died for them. Thank you Dr. John GrY for giving me words for my feelings and the knowledge about men so in my next marriage I'll be all that can be.
I just realized he was the guy who wrote the book! I never read it but I do remember my mother having it and talking to me about. This makes so much sense to so many podcasts that I've listened to. Dr. Gray being a real one since I was born.
Wow this is such an in depth interview . I had to take notes!! Wheyyy at 45 no wonder I am still single. Thank you dr gray now I know how I contributed…by giving too much and not allowing any room for him to be motivated. I would admit it takes a shift in mindset to un train ourselves as women. The part that made everything click for me is when he said woman tend to give and give because we are designed to respond to babies who do not know how to ask.😮😮😮
Just feel like adding on a practical note, that I don’t think these ideas/practices last long if there is not a genuine compatibility between a couple. Having said that your information it is soo welcome to add the icing on the cake if that makes sense ❤ so thank you!!! X
Women give up if the man she has affection for and relationship with disappears on a regular basis. She believes that there is someone else he prefers, and she does not feel safe.. Women give so much of themselves, and often men don't even appear to notice that's how they display their Love for him. But when they always find something wrong with the woman and its always her fault, she doesn't feel any need for sex with him from fear of diseases and fear of being used. So you say that the fact that they show up mean that they care???
John was a monk? Love it...makes sense! children played no part in my getting married, but security certainly was, and not chasing him pressuring--I actually went to Spain to study and he didn't want to lose me.
Wow such a great conversation & thank you Michelle for allowing Johns thoughts to flow naturally sharing his wisdom knowledge & ideas without a pre decided cut off time. I will share & listen again . ❤ much love and appreciation to you both .
Thank you so much John and Michelle. what a huge gift John gives, its such a pleasure to just listen to him and his wisdom given so generously, so much gratitude, thank you both and you Michelle, asking insightful questions.....
Every relationship my whole life I've taken myself out of situations that are escalating I always get followed and badgered so I get in the van and drive away until Ive calmed and hopefully she has calmed. I've been told I just run away when it kicks off but I genuinely don't see it that way. The dragon analogy is incredible.
With the scientific information from Gottman's research. Dr. John Grey continues to be right and is still up to date in 2024. Awesome! Thank you, Michelle, for interviewing Dr. John Gray once again.
I only heard of John last night while chatting to a lovely lady im keen on. Im 59 have a string of failed relationships this is vital information it should be taught in schools. thanks for this.
I love this interview! I just discovered your channel and have now subscribed. I can mostly relate to being the successful woman in my mid-40’s who dated a man that did not share the same big dreams as I. Ultimately, the relationship didn’t last, because I just could not come to terms with that. Fast forward 7yrs later, I DEEPLY regret not appreciating everything else that he did for me and ending our relationship. Therapy is helping me work through these painful regrets.
But it's not only about, what he can do for you, also what can you do for him. If both feel the love of serving and caring for each other and healp each other to grow and get to live authentic and each talents etc. That is true love in my eyes.
I’m 70, and kept saying men my age had no follow-through. Now I understand why. What does a woman do besides having sex, trying to reignite his sexuality? I’m going to be more sensuous, when I’m really interested. Otherwise, I’m going to have to give one of these younger men serious consideration. 😅
Hi Barbara. I hope you be able to read my message. As a young man, I have always been curious about the sexual life of older women. I have heard that after menopause, sex is impossible for many women. I have not way to confirm this because I do not know any older women who could trust me with this information. I would appreciate it very much if you could share your experience of having sex after menopause.
I have been listening to this man all day every day! I have “ beyond Mars and Venus, Mars and Venus on a date”❤ but it has occurred to me that his talks and stories have resonated much better here! Thank you Michelle❤
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & *FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
A wonderful conversation for us all to be listening to. To have this all discussed in this good way is essential for all people to be able to move forward far beyond the dystopian agendas being projected with propaganda.
I watched an old Gene Tierney movie recently when she became of marriage age. her father was played by John Huston. it was a period piece. i guess she was complaining about not being in love with someone. her father said something like, "Marry a man and THEN like him!!!!!!!" too funny!!!!!!!
Lots of great content…just wondering why his wife didn’t buy the milk herself?! lol! If I need something I do it. I can’t recall the last time I asked my husband to do anything. Sometimes he offers which is great but that’s due to him hearing me mumble that I need an ingredient for dinner or running out of time to clean, etc.
15:41 Men become wiser after age 40. 16:53 Men need to feel successful in the relationship to want marriage. They bond with women who are happy with what they provide. They don’t bond with women who do everything for them.
I have most of Dr. John's Grays' Books. They are great because women definitely interpret things different than men and vice versa; it helps us to understand the other person better. I tend to get with self-absorbed men as I am a good listener and they love to talk about themselves. I have found that men love to talk about sex and they think that that is the way to get into your pants. To me it is a totally turn off as I know that is their goal; however, when a man is supportive of what is important to me and what I am trying to achieve he becomes totally attractive to me and then feeling that appreciation that he values what is important to me; makes me want to have sex with him. That just shows the difference tremendously on how differently we think. Thank you, for sharing this video Michelle.
What do you do when your boyfriend keeps getting cats even thought you don’t want lots of animals if you get married . We have 5 cats and I have 1 dog . To many animals in the house if you ask me ,but he won’t listen?
Ew. Tell him you'll get rid of him! And there is only one dog and one cat in the house. Period. And tell him to pick his favorite cat and rehome the rest or else you will do it. Stop letting men walk all over you, ladies!!
I have an enormous problem with children who try to rule their parents lives because your money is already THEIR money. You aren't allowed to remarry someone and be happy with your life unless you go through the a bit offensive process of willing everything to children?? Inheritance is a GIFT! It's a GIFT! Your money is your money to allot as you see fit at your death. Children should not be sitting around looking at your stuff and counting your money as they perceive it to be. I think everyone's responsibility is to a spouse, especially if they are married (remarried) for a long time and someone is left to continue living for a long while.after a death. This children are due thing is out of control! I received very little at my parent's death and my husband got ZERO.
Thank you for this video, Michelle! Can you please let me know the title of your video where John talks about who should talk more on a date and/or ask more questions?
I'm not understanding. A man will date you, travel with you, spend 10 years in a relationship with you which comes with emotions and challenges but because she expressed excitement about a beautiful home, he decides not to marry her? But will still spend years with her?
Who would stay in a relationship for TEN YEARS with a man who hasn't asked her to marry him? I wouldn't stay longer than a year. Men who have loved me, ask me sooner than a year. They usually inquire about my intentions much sooner than that, e.g., are we a couple? Are you seeing anyone else? Do you see marriage in your future, hey let's drop into this jewelry store, what's the meaning of this gift you gave me, next summer why don't we....? hint hint hint. If they don't, I know they don't want to lock me down. Therefore, they don't genuinely love me. They're looking for someone they love more. I can't live with that. I'm worth more.
@@brittneyharvey2917a year is "just as insane"? What, NOT moving in with someone, NOT letting him have all your assets for free with no contract, and keeping your self respect is insane. Ooooh, someone here is giving it away and is mad as hell!
I to pick up on the word needy when you alone I think of how wonderful it is to have someone who can fill area in your life and arises feeling that only a another person can fill not material things not money but a touch a look a smile a good day by just chemistry every single time love for filling desire of your heart other than self it was not good for man to be alone the Good Book says Amen and Amen 🙏 ❤
I give way too much 😞 I’m nearly 35 and have been single most of my life. Still single and too much in my masculine side - a lot out of the need for survival. I’ve had no one and still have no one. I mean full time single mom of two but as far as potential partners, it’s bleak. I’m afraid that I will never belong to anyone or anywhere. I don’t like this matrix and death sounds like a good time to me!
I am interested in a man who is from El Salvador. His English is better than my Spanish. I almost have no Spanish. So he ends up talking more. Any advice?.
Improve your Spanish and enjoy the romance of hearing your man make you fall in love with a romantic language...Spanish is beautiful and poetical! Everything sounds sweeter in spanish! Hope everything goes lovely for you!😊
Oh thank you I just hope I can work and live up to the words in what John has communicated to us ! Thank you John!!! Thank you Michelle for having such a knowledgeable man that we can understand
If he needs to be cajoled, nagged, persuaded, move on. What difference will marriage make? If I have to be a nag, it's not worth the inevitable challenges to me. How about, "Its been a lovely romance, but I need to move on. I want the life I want and I want you to have the life you want. I wish the best for you."
This dude sounds like he is saying women should be Stepford wives. He seems to have all the answers to what masculine and feminine qualities are. I think this is a cultural thing and a time in space thing. Yes sure there are qualities that tend towards being a man or a women. I think when a person on either side of male vs female dichotomy are emotionally mature there is less game playing. Being a good listener is a skill set. Being a good communicator is a skill set. Which leads to understanding. Thats maturity. It sounds like this guy is advising woman who are with someone that doesn't understand the value of a marriage to manipulate the guy into marriage. Why do that? How about having very honest hard conversations early on in the relationship to see if you goals align, especially concerning marriage. That's what I heard a very seasoned divorce lawyer advise in a talk. Makes sense to me...then a person, man or woman doesn't have to invest too much time in the relationship. They can find someone who aligns with them. And then there is his definition of needing someone vs being needy. This is such a deep topic and not that simple to define. We as a modern culture seem to make it a sin to feel like needing someone is bad. What is he talking about exactly? What about the passion in the beginning of a relationship, people are super needy then...is that supposed to dye out? I think that comes back to communicating and agreements. Was keeping the passion of the honeymoon period alive a part of the relationship goal? What if the person suffered a truma in their life and they need someone to be with them through the healing process? Is that needy? What if the other partner wants to fill that gap? Do men not have the power of healing in them...or is that a woman thing? Its interesting that when a person gives the other what they need, generally the less they need it. If someone needs water or food, would you deny that to them? These are just a few examples that needing another can manifest. Is it beyond men's ability to think deeply about themselves, who their around, and to be clear and honest about their values? I think the bigger question is, are we as an individual working on ourselves and choosing a relationship that is based on growth and understanding. Creating very conscious agreements and knowing a relationship is rewarding and challenging. I dont think all men are beyond having there feet on the ground and being honest with themselves and the person their with. If marriage is an issue, tell the woman in the beginning. Same goes for a woman. The big house example and not being able to give the woman that mansion. That was just an assumption on the guys part. I think being a strong man or woman consists of being big enough to kindly ask questions. What was he protecting...his ego? How about as a coach, ask the guy why does he assume without inquiring to the truth. It could have been solved right there. She may had said, I just appreciate the house and I'm happy with what we have...or any number of things. And the milk...just get the milk. Its not that hard. Possibly your overworked and need to look at that and adjust your life accordingly. I think a burnt out person avoids doing things like getting mik because they are overwhelmed in life. Would avoiding getting the milk be a neediness? Super needy to be understood how hard you work and how tired you are? All of these topics could be broken apart in great detail. Again, I think it's about a growth mindset, agreements, communication, and endeavoring to understand eachothers unique needs in a relationship. Learning to be stable in oneself and selfless at the same time. Then maybe there is a chance at an enduring love.
I hear men make the “ losing half”of everything argument often. I must, men who have financial means may lose financially when divorce occur however, women in general take the greater loss. Society at large does not really value women and what we produce. Risking our lives to bring life into the world is not viewed as important as making money. Divorced women are viewed in a negative light. They are often the primary care takers of their children. Those with children, God forbids they’re over 30 are viewed as “discarded goods” in the dating scene. Most men and certainly financially stable men are not looking to provide and protect other men’ offsprings. It is near impossible for these women to find another mate who is emotionally, physically, financially and mentally secure to even be around her children. While divorced men face minimal to no challenges in the dating scene.
You're so right. I hear so much of: "I'll lose all my money" from men frightened of divorce. Women lose far far more. But as you say since they are not valued as much, this is ignored.
Respectfully, I don’t feel understood with other women these days. They want to be understood and reassured and cherished so much that my own needs never get met (in other words, they try to push me into taking on the male role in relation to them, and for me it feels terrible!)
So what can I do if my 50 years old husband, has cero motivation and desire to make love to me even thought I´m still good looking in my forties? He is not having an affair, how can I make him to feel desire again, or what I should not do???
Treat him like a stranger. Men chase prey and you need to act like the ultimate prey. I'm sure you did it at the start of the relationship, that's the thrill. Replicate what you did.
@@reubenlewis3267 But, that’s what I did for a decade! He may got tired of chasing a non sexually wife. He may got used to not having it. My reasons may be hormonales, not sure, thought I love him very much. It hurts a lot being rejected.
@blancaorozco7537 puede ser that he may have some little addiction going on. Stop focusing on him and ficus on you, go for walks, meet friends, have something exciting in your life. Join a painting class, etc.
Someone will love you for you. Take away the label of a person on disability. That is just something you are going through and a very small part of who you are. When you love yourself others love you too. "Love is everywhere and I am loving and loveable." Make that your new mantra and see what happens! It works!
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Can women feel like they are not enough to provide for a man meaning the way they look or keeping up with being young? I mean money for men and youth for women is a comparable thing
Link doesn’t work
Choose a man with an abundant spirit , who is generous regardless of how much he has, and treats you like a queen. Circumstances change, but good people are priceless.
My husband was just this type. I was his queen for 34 years and we had a beautiful life.
Great comment. Look for men who treat their mom’s right, it’s true what they say.
Amen
Awesome. Spot on.
Yeah I screwed up on that ugh
*When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.*
As a widow I have been forced to go more and more to my masculine side. Solve my own problems, keep up my home, do all errands, no one to depend on except myself. I do not like it. I have to keep reminding myself of my femininity because not only do men in my decade (my seventies) do not marry, they do not even exert the energy to date. Men are goal oriented and if they do not intend to marry, why should they date? So women are forced to advance into old age without an intimate partner. 1/3 of parents are alienated from their adult children so they do not even have those relationships. It is really sad that we do not have someone to hold us, hug us, be our soft place to land, and to be reassured.
Hi I hear you @teresamacey4012 ❤ Blessings, we have lived in masculine culture for decades now. This culture does not generally value the Femi ine. But there are exceptions to the rule for men who are too selfish and lazy and immature to appreciate the company of a beautiful mature goddess. I wish you well to let him find you ❤❤❤
Nurse with a purse is a modern term of interest
Date younger men. Problem solved. Date online and take precautions about catfish, robbers and narcissists but young men are looking for older women these days.
@@Screenplaywriter I did that for while but did not have positive experiences. I have laid my desire at God's altar. He knows me and my needs better than I so I trust Him to find a mate if He wills. I have found God is sufficient to meet my needs and He fills every void.
@@tffnyc1033 yes or someone who cooks, cleans, and never criticizes or expects anything from them. No thanks. Been there. Done that. Have the t-shirt.
Michelle, Dr Gray provides such great info, but what makes this an outstanding channel is that you listen! You don’t interrupt him! ❤
Yes 🤍
Funny story to tell everyone here, I recently met with Dr John Gray, I was at a local event here in Burbank Los Angeles, He was scheduled to give a talk there as a main speaker. I was merely walking to My vehicle in the parking lot as he was exiting his vehicle in front of the hotel. I said hi Mr Gray he said hi, who are you, introduced Myself, I complimented him on his work and books, he said tell what most has helped you or that you liked most? At that moment everything I had known about his work disappeared lol We both laughed together, I said men, women, ya know lol relationship stuff. Well it was a great exchange experience with a wonderful man. I should have asked for a picture together as a fan although I’m from New York & I don’t do that at all lol
Wow i understand I wouldve reacted the same way😂😂 funny story 😊
Exactly 100%- my husband made me feel safe from day 1!
My husband has never been a giver and I’m thinking Wow! We never bonded. I have always been the giver. My mistake!
Saaaaame
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Mine is giver but controlling. We never bonded either
@@HanhNguyen-js3ysall can get toxic.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
What did you do?
Sorry to hear😢.Let her go and pray for your healing
@josephreglandwow. So are you saying you won her over??
Ok look at it from this perspective. You might love her. But you can't get over her because your ego was hurt. That's about it🤷🏽♀️ Happens a lot. Men don't get over women who hurt their egos. Because how dare she?🤪jokes aside. You will be fine😉time heals
Win her back but do the healing work first.
There are plenty of people who are in needy relationships and thats what holds their toxic marriage together.
Omg the comment about roses sent to the office on Valentines Day hit me... the years I was single it really upset me going home on the train and seeing all the bouquets. I ended up always taking Feb 14th off during those years!!! Lol. Seems so sad to me now that Im older and wiser! Wish I could give the younger me a hug and tell her its ok, you will be ok, you can buy your own flowers ❤
Flowers by Miley Cyrus
@@DiamondsRexpensiveexactly 🎉
Children need parents to love each other … now we have these wars of men vs women. Thank you John for your wisdom
You are right dear❤❤
How are you doing?
Gosh....it takes time to overcome our own childhood conditioning...to get to handle our emotions..self recognition and making one self happy..that 80%... then aspire as a couple for a 100
I do not get word "needy". when I miss someone, want someone, love someone I need them in my life and I want to take care of that person. This person is so special to me. My life is pretty good and I do not have a victim mentality. And I am sorry but you cannot have a good life when you are not fulfilled and not loved. We need to stop pretending that being single is somehow a beautiful thing. A typical post modern attitude. Bonding and loving someone is not being needy.
Men bonds in a different way. I suggest you look for the podcast of Dr. John Gray about the nature & influence of estrogen hormones in women, & testosterone in men. Look it up, & it will make sense to you. Don't stop here, that knowledge will do you a huge favor, & i said this with care.
I agree life is a fulfillment of love and not needy.
Amen! Besides, most healthy males like it when women are clingy and needy. To a healthy extent. Not in a super crazy way. But they LOVE to feel desired by their women. So this modern teaching is toxic, and John Gray is NOT the end all be all. He is a guideline. Not THE LINE. He's not right about everything. But he has good insight. I've spoken to enough beautiful healthy men (because that is who I attract) to know EXACTLY what they like and want. So I'd consider myself an expert on men and women. Seek and you shall find. ✨️ 😊 ❤
Thank you, that's true.
I agree and so will Dr. Tutkin. I like the two fox in the whole analogy. Curiosity comes from a place of calm. When the relationship is safe, you can envision future, hope and be creative. This whole do not expect much from men is the result of men becoming less giving, less committing and so on. When that happens, then you have a bunch of sad women, so the modern philosophy is why be sad, love yourself. Then men who come out of marriages start dating and realize how many women are out there single and trying to hook a man with sex and think they are a prize. Then as they have a dozen of empty relationships they realize that it is not that simple to keep a woman in love and decide not to settle and go through serial monogamy, uncommitted legally. What can you do? What is there to do? Women just keep dating and dating and dating, sometimes more than 2 men at a time. I think before we quit this dating life, we should practice communicating positively. Use the men sort of speak to learn assertive positive communication to give every good man we meet who became spoiled by the dating market an opportunity to feel successful with you by pleasing you with your small positive demands. That can be fun. You have nothing to loose. At the end you just will be single, just as you are in an empty uncommitted relationship.
Dear John, I started reading your books in the 1990s. The knowledge you provide has been incredibly useful throughout the years. I love your stories, and glad you told two of my favorites today. The one about the milk, I will never forget. I had someone special in my life from 2003-2011. We were good friends initially, then, after two years became romantic. Neither of our lives were settled at that time but we did spend every weekend together. We had no goals just enjoying each other's company. We had some sex but I was going through menopause and he had to take medication for depression which he thought affected his sex drive. We enjoyed, so much, our time together. We both were aware and thoughtful of each other. I felt so safe with him and over time I came to see his heart; that he did things for me often which I began to notice. He would comment that he had little to give me of a material nature, but I did not care. I appreciated his attention. his creativity and his intention. I welcomed him always, and he me, even if we disagree about something. I felt very equal to him, but different. I think we would have married, when we were ready. That time had not arrived yet. Then he passed on in 2011. I always feel him with me still. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗. I know now how it feels to be equal but different, one man and one woman, with reverence for esch other. This all took place at Fort Funston and on Mt. Tam, so we were neighbours. All the best to you, and your sweetheart.and your continuing career. ❤️
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That guy sounds weak on every level. Sad that women accept so little from men and give so much.
Respect is earned and must always be maintained. To have a friend one must be able to be a friend in of any and all relationships
Very powerful
Thanks ❤️ I live my life with my man of 9 month. He has redecorated and updated my house, I watch and appreciate him sooo much and he just keeps on giving. I want to he his wife. It is scary to be treated so well. Ist husband I stayed fir kids an fir family and church people. I have found the live if my life and am not even married yet. 😅😂❤❤❤. I'm enjoying my life. Over time I'll marry. Wow
I really appreciated this conversation. I especially appreciated when Dr. Gray mentioned that we don't know what we don't know. But it is important to evaluate how we contributed to our past relationships. I am 38 years old and can definitely look at my previous relationship and see where I made some significant mistakes. I do think that it is difficult to find someone whose values align who is marriage (commitment)? positive. It is a fine line between needing and being needy; which coupled with everything else just makes dating exhausting! If you are an educated woman with a full life; then you are too independent. I would definitely like to find my person; be married and have children. Thank you for this discussion.💝✨
But a real man loves his woman in strong and weak times. The same should the real woman do.
I enjoyed all of this. It is good information for me and I will be 65 in a week. Never too old to learn.
I’m dating this amazing man and we’ve been dating 1 years also we have not been intimate. We are waiting for marriage.
U bless today its difficult to find someone when a guy meet a lady they just want have sex.
@@nathlinawilliams6658 it’s definitely not easy, now we live together and still not married so we keep the law of chastity. So no being intimate till we’re married. It’s not easy because I’m extremely attracted to him.
Make sure he doesn’t have a side chick he’s getting it from
Oh that's really nice❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Yikes. How do you know he's any good? What if he can't satisfy you? What if he has a micropeen? OMG you'd have to live with a nightmare!!!!
“A woman cannot maker her husband happier than he makes her.” By Bill Taylor (MIT) and his wife, Roberta, who write books about marriage. He teaches in my church at times.
What dr. John Gray describe women feeling stressed Brenda husband there's no love is exactly what I felt in my marriage now I understand why both of my children didn't think I loved them which I absolutely would've died for them. Thank you Dr. John GrY for giving me words for my feelings and the knowledge about men so in my next marriage I'll be all that can be.
I just realized he was the guy who wrote the book! I never read it but I do remember my mother having it and talking to me about. This makes so much sense to so many podcasts that I've listened to. Dr. Gray being a real one since I was born.
Wow this is such an in depth interview . I had to take notes!! Wheyyy at 45 no wonder I am still single. Thank you dr gray now I know how I contributed…by giving too much and not allowing any room for him to be motivated. I would admit it takes a shift in mindset to un train ourselves as women. The part that made everything click for me is when he said woman tend to give and give because we are designed to respond to babies who do not know how to ask.😮😮😮
I hear you. 42 single. Too much of a giver in every relationship. Better we find this out later than never 😂🙏
Just feel like adding on a practical note, that I don’t think these ideas/practices last long if there is not a genuine compatibility between a couple. Having said that your information it is soo welcome to add the icing on the cake if that makes sense ❤ so thank you!!! X
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All interviews with Dr. Gray are fantastic!
I love John Gray's books. Although I am in my 60's and single, information and perspective is always appreciated.
You are right dear❤❤❤❤❤
How are you doing?
Women give up if the man she has affection for and relationship with disappears on a regular basis. She believes that there is someone else he prefers, and she does not feel safe.. Women give so much of themselves, and often men don't even appear to notice that's how they display their Love for him. But when they always find something wrong with the woman and its always her fault, she doesn't feel any need for sex with him from fear of diseases and fear of being used. So you say that the fact that they show up mean that they care???
John was a monk? Love it...makes sense! children played no part in my getting married, but security certainly was, and not chasing him pressuring--I actually went to Spain to study and he didn't want to lose me.
I love this! This presentation is so insightful. Feels like an emotional map for me to follow and understand 😮😊😮
Wow such a great conversation & thank you Michelle for allowing Johns thoughts to flow naturally sharing his wisdom knowledge & ideas without a pre decided cut off time. I will share & listen again . ❤ much love and appreciation to you both .
Thank you so much for this wonderful conversation Dr. John and Michelle. So many wonderful tips. 💛💛💛
Thank you so much John and Michelle. what a huge gift John gives, its such a pleasure to just listen to him and his wisdom given so generously, so much gratitude, thank you both and you Michelle, asking insightful questions.....
“Thank you for protecting me from your dragon”
This is epic!!
Bless you John
Every relationship my whole life I've taken myself out of situations that are escalating I always get followed and badgered so I get in the van and drive away until Ive calmed and hopefully she has calmed. I've been told I just run away when it kicks off but I genuinely don't see it that way. The dragon analogy is incredible.
With the scientific information from Gottman's research.
Dr. John Grey continues to be right and is still up to date in 2024.
Awesome!
Thank you, Michelle, for interviewing Dr. John Gray once again.
Thank you so much lots of love and prayers from Egypt ❤❤
I bought book Men from Mars, Women from Venus in year 1996, in Jakarta Indonesia.
I'd like to hear more about Dr. Gray's new marriage!!
This advice is golden for sure!
I only heard of John last night while chatting to a lovely lady im keen on. Im 59 have a string of failed relationships this is vital information it should be taught in schools. thanks for this.
As an unmarried older woman, I have no experience in this regard. 😢
This is the best video I ever saw Thank you
I wish I knew this a long time ago. I have a new man in my life so I can use this now.
I love this interview! I just discovered your channel and have now subscribed. I can mostly relate to being the successful woman in my mid-40’s who dated a man that did not share the same big dreams as I. Ultimately, the relationship didn’t last, because I just could not come to terms with that. Fast forward 7yrs later, I DEEPLY regret not appreciating everything else that he did for me and ending our relationship. Therapy is helping me work through these painful regrets.
But it's not only about, what he can do for you, also what can you do for him. If both feel the love of serving and caring for each other and healp each other to grow and get to live authentic and each talents etc.
That is true love in my eyes.
Yea gotta feel safe with him. I understood what that meant as i got older.
I’m 70, and kept saying men my age had no follow-through. Now I understand why. What does a woman do besides having sex, trying to reignite his sexuality? I’m going to be more sensuous, when I’m really interested. Otherwise, I’m going to have to give one of these younger men serious consideration. 😅
Hi Barbara. I hope you be able to read my message. As a young man, I have always been curious about the sexual life of older women. I have heard that after menopause, sex is impossible for many women. I have not way to confirm this because I do not know any older women who could trust me with this information. I would appreciate it very much if you could share your experience of having sex after menopause.
Listening to this shows me that I have been doing everything wrong
You did the best you could. Nobody is perfect 🤗
You truly make and teach ALL OF THE BEST POINTS EVER!!!! HALLEUJAH!!!!!!
I have been listening to this man all day every day! I have “ beyond Mars and Venus, Mars and Venus on a date”❤ but it has occurred to me that his talks and stories have resonated much better here! Thank you Michelle❤
listened to Mars/Venus on audio in the 90's...went to his institute in Mill Valley-(I heard he moved?)--greetings from San Francisco
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& *FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
These teachings are incredibly insightful. Thank you
Brilliant interview! Thank you both!💕
Wonderful content but so many, many commercials!
A wonderful conversation for us all to be listening to. To have this all discussed in this good way is essential for all people to be able to move forward far beyond the dystopian agendas being projected with propaganda.
I watched an old Gene Tierney movie recently when she became of marriage age. her father was played by John Huston. it was a period piece. i guess she was complaining about not being in love with someone. her father said something like, "Marry a man and THEN like him!!!!!!!" too funny!!!!!!!
Lots of great content…just wondering why his wife didn’t buy the milk herself?! lol! If I need something I do it. I can’t recall the last time I asked my husband to do anything. Sometimes he offers which is great but that’s due to him hearing me mumble that I need an ingredient for dinner or running out of time to clean, etc.
Thank you sooo much 🙏🙏🙏🙏😍😍
John is the best 🌹🌹. Thank you for sharing 💕💕🦋🦋😊😊
I needed to hear this again, brilliant conversation. Thank you John and Michelle ❤
IS THERE A TALK ABOUT AFFAIRS IN “ a marriage “?
15:41 Men become wiser after age 40.
16:53 Men need to feel successful in the relationship to want marriage. They bond with women who are happy with what they provide. They don’t bond with women who do everything for them.
How do you navigate this material in a long distance relationship
I have most of Dr. John's Grays' Books. They are great because women definitely interpret things different than men and vice versa; it helps us to understand the other person better. I tend to get with self-absorbed men as I am a good listener and they love to talk about themselves. I have found that men love to talk about sex and they think that that is the way to get into your pants. To me it is a totally turn off as I know that is their goal; however, when a man is supportive of what is important to me and what I am trying to achieve he becomes totally attractive to me and then feeling that appreciation that he values what is important to me; makes me want to have sex with him. That just shows the difference tremendously on how differently we think. Thank you, for sharing this video Michelle.
Thanks!
Tha k you so much John ; truly valuable I formation a out what and how a man relztes!, feels and thinks
Invaluable le.
What a fine talk, I wish I could afford coaching..
A WONDERFUL ENJOYABLE SECTION SO FULFILLING 🙏🏽✝️🕊THANK YOU TO BOTH ✝️
Attraction is the only thing that Matters from Day1. Then Everything else comes next ⚘️😘
Attraction doesn't men Looks? IT means I only want to be with you & you with me! Walla!
I’m so appreciative of this message ❤
I echo Michelle’s gratitude for your wisdom and sharing it with us💕
What do you do when your boyfriend keeps getting cats even thought you don’t want lots of animals if you get married . We have 5 cats and I have 1 dog . To many animals in the house if you ask me ,but he won’t listen?
Ew. Tell him you'll get rid of him! And there is only one dog and one cat in the house. Period. And tell him to pick his favorite cat and rehome the rest or else you will do it. Stop letting men walk all over you, ladies!!
I have an enormous problem with children who try to rule their parents lives because your money is already THEIR money. You aren't allowed to remarry someone and be happy with your life unless you go through the a bit offensive process of willing everything to children?? Inheritance is a GIFT! It's a GIFT! Your money is your money to allot as you see fit at your death. Children should not be sitting around looking at your stuff and counting your money as they perceive it to be. I think everyone's responsibility is to a spouse, especially if they are married (remarried) for a long time and someone is left to continue living for a long while.after a death. This children are due thing is out of control! I received very little at my parent's death and my husband got ZERO.
Thank you for this video, Michelle!
Can you please let me know the title of your video where John talks about who should talk more on a date and/or ask more questions?
Hi Michelle. Thank you for the heart on my original post, but I don't see it was answered.
Commitment is very important
Its never ending and its never enough. People are just too complicated
Thank you Dears
Thank you
Dr Gray 💪☺️
I'm not understanding. A man will date you, travel with you, spend 10 years in a relationship with you which comes with emotions and challenges but because she expressed excitement about a beautiful home, he decides not to marry her? But will still spend years with her?
Who would stay in a relationship for TEN YEARS with a man who hasn't asked her to marry him? I wouldn't stay longer than a year. Men who have loved me, ask me sooner than a year. They usually inquire about my intentions much sooner than that, e.g., are we a couple? Are you seeing anyone else? Do you see marriage in your future, hey let's drop into this jewelry store, what's the meaning of this gift you gave me, next summer why don't we....? hint hint hint. If they don't, I know they don't want to lock me down. Therefore, they don't genuinely love me. They're looking for someone they love more. I can't live with that. I'm worth more.
@@bl7817that is definitely NOT always the case and a year is just as insane as 10! You’re still getting to know someone at 1 year.
I'm guessing you don't get many marriage proposals? I'd change my Snapchat name if I were you, too. Yikes.@@brittneyharvey2917
@@brittneyharvey2917You have a lifetime to get to know someone AFTER you marry them.
@@brittneyharvey2917a year is "just as insane"? What, NOT moving in with someone, NOT letting him have all your assets for free with no contract, and keeping your self respect is insane. Ooooh, someone here is giving it away and is mad as hell!
Amazing 🎉
When Men are from Mars women are from Venus came out in 1992 I bought it. I still have it
Yes2 thanks much for this ❤
I to pick up on the word needy when you alone I think of how wonderful it is to have someone who can fill area in your life and arises feeling that only a another person can fill not material things not money but a touch a look a smile a good day by just chemistry every single time love for filling desire of your heart other than self it was not good for man to be alone the Good Book says Amen and Amen 🙏 ❤
I give way too much 😞 I’m nearly 35 and have been single most of my life. Still single and too much in my masculine side - a lot out of the need for survival. I’ve had no one and still have no one. I mean full time single mom of two but as far as potential partners, it’s bleak. I’m afraid that I will never belong to anyone or anywhere. I don’t like this matrix and death sounds like a good time to me!
could someone please summarise the points in this video?
Please talk about relationship with a man whose first wife passed away (separation not by divorce.)
What do you need to know?
I am interested in a man who is from El Salvador. His English is better than my Spanish. I almost have no Spanish. So he ends up talking more. Any advice?.
Improve your Spanish and enjoy the romance of hearing your man make you fall in love with a romantic language...Spanish is beautiful and poetical! Everything sounds sweeter in spanish! Hope everything goes lovely for you!😊
Don't underestimate the cultural differences 😎
Oh thank you I just hope I can work and live up to the words in what John has communicated to us ! Thank you John!!! Thank you Michelle for having such a knowledgeable man that we can understand
If he needs to be cajoled, nagged, persuaded, move on. What difference will marriage make? If I have to be a nag, it's not worth the inevitable challenges to me. How about, "Its been a lovely romance, but I need to move on. I want the life I want and I want you to have the life you want. I wish the best for you."
This dude sounds like he is saying women should be Stepford wives. He seems to have all the answers to what masculine and feminine qualities are. I think this is a cultural thing and a time in space thing. Yes sure there are qualities that tend towards being a man or a women. I think when a person on either side of male vs female dichotomy are emotionally mature there is less game playing. Being a good listener is a skill set. Being a good communicator is a skill set. Which leads to understanding. Thats maturity. It sounds like this guy is advising woman who are with someone that doesn't understand the value of a marriage to manipulate the guy into marriage. Why do that? How about having very honest hard conversations early on in the relationship to see if you goals align, especially concerning marriage. That's what I heard a very seasoned divorce lawyer advise in a talk. Makes sense to me...then a person, man or woman doesn't have to invest too much time in the relationship. They can find someone who aligns with them.
And then there is his definition of needing someone vs being needy. This is such a deep topic and not that simple to define. We as a modern culture seem to make it a sin to feel like needing someone is bad. What is he talking about exactly? What about the passion in the beginning of a relationship, people are super needy then...is that supposed to dye out? I think that comes back to communicating and agreements. Was keeping the passion of the honeymoon period alive a part of the relationship goal? What if the person suffered a truma in their life and they need someone to be with them through the healing process? Is that needy? What if the other partner wants to fill that gap?
Do men not have the power of healing in them...or is that a woman thing? Its interesting that when a person gives the other what they need, generally the less they need it. If someone needs water or food, would you deny that to them? These are just a few examples that needing another can manifest. Is it beyond men's ability to think deeply about themselves, who their around, and to be clear and honest about their values?
I think the bigger question is, are we as an individual working on ourselves and choosing a relationship that is based on growth and understanding. Creating very conscious agreements and knowing a relationship is rewarding and challenging.
I dont think all men are beyond having there feet on the ground and being honest with themselves and the person their with. If marriage is an issue, tell the woman in the beginning. Same goes for a woman.
The big house example and not being able to give the woman that mansion. That was just an assumption on the guys part. I think being a strong man or woman consists of being big enough to kindly ask questions. What was he protecting...his ego?
How about as a coach, ask the guy why does he assume without inquiring to the truth. It could have been solved right there. She may had said, I just appreciate the house and I'm happy with what we have...or any number of things.
And the milk...just get the milk. Its not that hard. Possibly your overworked and need to look at that and adjust your life accordingly. I think a burnt out person avoids doing things like getting mik because they are overwhelmed in life. Would avoiding getting the milk be a neediness? Super needy to be understood how hard you work and how tired you are?
All of these topics could be broken apart in great detail. Again, I think it's about a growth mindset, agreements, communication, and endeavoring to understand eachothers unique needs in a relationship. Learning to be stable in oneself and selfless at the same time. Then maybe there is a chance at an enduring love.
Answer to video’s title is at 1:20
What if you're the woman who wants a steady relationship but doesn't want to marry?
I hear men make the “ losing half”of everything argument often. I must, men who have financial means may lose financially when divorce occur however, women in general take the greater loss. Society at large does not really value women and what we produce. Risking our lives to bring life into the world is not viewed as important as making money. Divorced women are viewed in a negative light. They are often the primary care takers of their children. Those with children, God forbids they’re over 30 are viewed as “discarded goods” in the dating scene. Most men and certainly financially stable men are not looking to provide and protect other men’ offsprings. It is near impossible for these women to find another mate who is emotionally, physically, financially and mentally secure to even be around her children. While divorced men face minimal to no challenges in the dating scene.
You're so right. I hear so much of: "I'll lose all my money" from men frightened of divorce. Women lose far far more. But as you say since they are not valued as much, this is ignored.
Thank you
Respectfully, I don’t feel understood with other women these days. They want to be understood and reassured and cherished so much that my own needs never get met (in other words, they try to push me into taking on the male role in relation to them, and for me it feels terrible!)
Hmm… I must be single bc after the second time, I would have got the milk myself. That’s me being too masculine so I need to work on that
46:58
It would just be so nice if u would do xyz
Repeat repeat repeat -assertiveness
Reward that is worth it
So what can I do if my 50 years old husband, has cero motivation and desire to make love to me even thought I´m still good looking in my forties? He is not having an affair, how can I make him to feel desire again, or what I should not do???
Treat him like a stranger. Men chase prey and you need to act like the ultimate prey. I'm sure you did it at the start of the relationship, that's the thrill. Replicate what you did.
@@reubenlewis3267 But, that’s what I did for a decade! He may got tired of chasing a non sexually wife. He may got used to not having it. My reasons may be hormonales, not sure, thought I love him very much. It hurts a lot being rejected.
@blancaorozco7537 puede ser that he may have some little addiction going on.
Stop focusing on him and ficus on you, go for walks, meet friends, have something exciting in your life. Join a painting class, etc.
He needs to build his testosterone level.
@@blancaorozco7537Unless he is embracing monkhood and has adopted spiritual teachings, he is absolutely cheating.
I'm having ne some belly laughs!
The man got the milk!
Am on disability 😢 what man will really want me
Someone will love you for you. Take away the label of a person on disability. That is just something you are going through and a very small part of who you are. When you love yourself others love you too. "Love is everywhere and I am loving and loveable." Make that your new mantra and see what happens! It works!
@@valeriepearson3885 your kind ❤️
What if ur not a talker & a better listener
If you're with a man who talks more than you, then he's not a real man. 😂❤
Then marry women who can manage money. Then they don't have to.