@@pamkay1756 Well Pam, here is some advice a friend gave me years ago (Rest in Peace Mandy) "Someone trying to make you jealous, really don't want or care about you. They just want attention from you to boost their own confidence, while lowering yours in the process."
@@KennyJ702 Yeah, I know he doesn't want me. He called me a turn off. He's just keeping me handy until he finds someone better. We're currently not speaking. It's been about 4 days no contact and I hope I stay away from him. I'm not happy when I'm with him. He makes me feel uncomfortable. He knows all too well what buttons to push to get a negative over the top reaction. Thanks for the comment. I had a feeling that's what he's doing. Take care.
My narc husband will always comment on how beautiful other women are... Or notice the "little things" about them, such as nails, earring etc... Even talk about their bodies, how amazing it is that some women have the "perfect" bodies, But when I dress up, look pretty or wear something striking for him. He doesn't even batter an eye lid and will look at me as if I'm just wearing a pair of jeans and t shirt around the house. In the Beginning this really used to affect me, I felt so insecure and ugly that he wouldn't even say anything to me to compliment me. Now, I couldn't give two $hits what he thinks of me. I dress up and look pretty because I want to feel good. Don't care what he thinks anymore.
he would constantly bring up this girl at his job that wouldn't even look twice at him. I can't believe I dated someone so ugly for 7 years. I actually loved him. he is inside outside ugly.
We went out and met a whole bunch of people and he told me when we got home that none of the men thought I was attractive.... I was so stunned by such an odd comment out of the blue..... I have never forgotten it. He kept his hand on my knee all night long. When he discarded me and the word got around I had one of the men contact me to ask me on a date 🤷♀️
They will just randomly bring up people and situations that they know will make you mad and jealous you don’t even have to be talking to them about non and they will bring up something to make you mad or start argument and then get mad at you for getting mad at them
I went to a big open air party once with my narc wife . It was a family and friends party . She spent the entire evening talking to other men , whilst looking over to me to see if I was noticing . This was the beginning of the end of us . I stayed calm and said nothing as she was probably trying to get a reaction from me in front of her family . Nasty woman.
Sorry you had to go through such degradation. You deserve far better. You deserve to be honoured and respected. Because that's what you gave her at a time she didn't deserve it.
@@gerardleroux5784 thanks Gerard. I do deserve better and I'm starting to realise it . Always took the back seat with myself , making sure she was happy and the children were happy . To me this is normal in a healthy relationship, my job was to provide , house , warmth , clothes , food etc . Never really did anything just for me , I bought a second hand push bike once , I was told I was selfish . I laugh about it now . 😂 . Thinking about getting a motorbike , need more speed !!
@@patrickkennedy7165 You know that is the aspect I regard to be the most evil. Because they make toxicity seem normal to such a level, you become nothing to YOURSELF! You're already dealing with a partner whom you are a nothing to and then they convert you into joining them, thinking nothing about yourself. I've fallen down stairs and been knocked unconscious already. Shouting out for help and waking up by myself once again, just to discover she never came to my aid. With the excuse being, you know I don't hear anything when I sleep. Yet when they get up, it's lights on! I'm awake, so everyone better be awake now! You were raked over the coals for a damn push bike? Well you're talking to a bike, so I encourage you, go after your bike! Pursue your happiness and make it an unwavering priority! You did it for an evil person. Now double the effort for you because you are a good person with a good heart and you deserve happiness every shape and form.
@@gerardleroux5784 that sounds scary, to call out for help and nothing happens only to find yourself dealing with it on your own. That sums up a relationship with a narc . They never cared. Onwards and upwards.
Lol , this brings a smile to me as I remember the narc trying to make me jealous, I told him when he was chatting to this woman ,I said to him are you trying to make me jealous am not the jealous type he was angry it was the start of the red flags, he said that he was a flirt ,sorry your type of person isn't good for me ,so you can go your own way, he started to cry that just made it worse I thought what a horrible person, happy to say he left am happy on my own..warning he did tried to come back after 2 year he got the grey rock, I thank God every day he's away..
My first test was when he kept telling his female friend he loved her on Facebook and commenting on all her stuff. He constantly told everybody that he loved them as he is the spiritual guru new age narc cult leader type but he did it more to this girl because he knew I didn't like her due to a confrontational comment she made about what I did. When I confronted him on it he snapped at me that it was a boundary breaker for me to behave in that kind of manner towards other women when he had done no wrong and I had jealousy issues. He had only been living with me a few weeks at this point. I can't believe I dismissed this red flag and it's taken me almost 11 months after reverse discard to realise what that was! Turned out, this woman and I began getting on and became close - this is when his jealousy came out and he began freaking out and punishing me for meeting her. Turned out she knew too much info and knew women he was grooming and this was why I had crossed the line by being her friend and our children playing.... I see exactly what that was all about now!!!
Thanku!!! This is exactly what my husband did to me. He triangulated me with another women that he'd liked since childhood and figured it was okay to spend time alone with her, as she is now widowed and was actuality flirting with him the day after her husband died, and at her husbands Wake. I called out the flirting and his so-called right to spend time alone with her, and was told i had trust issues, that I was F'n stupid, to soak my F'n head, was called an F'n Mother F'er and to F'n drop dead!! He raised his fist as if to plow me in the face with it (but didn't), yet the anger and despicable hate in his eyes was terrifying. At that moment he killed what little was left!! I told him to leave and he can have her that i just don't care anymore. He's still here and can't understand what he did wrong and why I'm still angry.... and still thinks it's okay as a married man to spend time alone with her. 🤯👎👹😵💫
Yes,they will always bring up their exes in the conversations.These remarks were the first red flags which I ignored as I had no idea what i had been dealing with at that time. I could not understand why out of sudden i started to experience jealousy…i had never been and I am not a jealous person. I had not known this feeling before I met my ex and thank God after a few years of healing I don’t suffer from any jealousy…even now when he has a new supply.the feeling of jealousy he created for me was one of the most painful ones and almost drove me insane!!! Thank you Danish,your videos are truly helpful xxx
Some people might think the victim is the narcissist because they are jealous and others start to think they are crazy but they don't realize a narcissist destroys a person's self esteem, makes them feel not good enough, inferior, makes them feel insecure in the relationship, makes them feel jealous and like they are competing with other women for them.
I was "lucky" because my ex was a mysogynist. He never looked at another woman. He hates women. He despises them. He prefers men. He married me to hate on me.
We always face it dear brother. He always compares me as well as my children with unnecessary people in all aspects directly or indirectly. But we never give him a chance to satisfy instead we react as if we don't care or directly tell him not to talk of any one again in front of us.
His conniving tactic will not work with me. I told him, I'll be very happy if he moved to his next her supply. I will definitely celebrate that day. I'm not a jealous type person. Too bad for him. I'm not what he thinks.
This is 1000% true. My narc ex told me this young kid was into and even insinuated that I called him a model. A conversation I had never ever had but she insisted on it. I confronted him about it and he looked totally shocked, so did his dad btw. He then asked if he can go over to my car to enquire what he said and when he said such things because he would never do that. He knows she's much older than him, that she's in a relationship with me and that he would never over step such a boundary because it isn't the way he was raised. I told him I believe him and that there was no need for evidence. She said absolutely nothing. Not sorry for making up this lie. Not, how do you feel about me now. Nothing. Pretended like that even had never occured. Since then however, I've heard how much her boss is after her, how much the guy next door wants her number, how her brother's friend wants her even though she's married and when I interject with, "well how did they get your number or why was he at your work place and how does he even know where you work" it's always the same answer. Shrouded in different webs of lies and cover ups because narcs never expect you to unravel the details and lies have no trace. They're fake so they have no details. And they're heavy flirtatious outrightly in front of you. I'd even go missing at parties just to see how long it would take her to notice I'm not in her company like the rest of the couples are. Record stands at 3 hours, while I was the MC at her own brother's wedding and do you know who came looking for me because they could feel my presence was missing? The bride and groom. While she was getting wasted and dancing with so many people but when I request to dance, "my feet are sore. I'm tired. Or I'm not in the mood."
There you should have spotted when her feet was sore ! A true girl would never leave your side in a party, and if she knew Someone s hitting on her she d ask you to to screw those bastards
Thank you so much for this video. I realy needed this.🙏 My soon ex husband became an uncle and he went to the hospital to visit his niece. He never ever wanted contact with his family or loved them. When I had my son he came to the hospital with a sigh and stayed only 15 minutes and only picked up our son because I told him to. Last time he asked me if I saw his niece already and that she is so cute bla bla. My body has been aching so much the last few days, because of all the trauma he put me through and the memories he brought up. He can go to the hospital but he can't come on a Sunday to visit his kids to play with them, because it is to tiring to come by train (40min). Could you please do a video how to let go of these thoughts and how not to get emotional over their wanted triggers.
@@andrejinatinta3061 I wish it were that easy. In Germany the father has so many rights. I can't even travel in the EU without his signature. To get sole custody in Germany is almost impossible...one has to be half dead for the court to agree. As long as the father isn't harming the children the mother is expected to cooperate, so the father can see the children weekly no matter what he did to her or what he did to the kids in the past.
My ex narc husband had 2 kids on me while we were married, all 3 of us pregnant at the same time smh We have been divorced going on 4 years! Can you speak on how they intentionally go out and have other kids to make you jealous....he STILL to this day tries to throw those kids in my face to make me jealous! Sick individual
He used to tell me .. your going out looking like that? Then maybe once he said I looked nice at a wedding dinner. Most of the time he picked out my clothes and I would have to try on things and he would get upset and talk about my weight, chipped nail polish or something about me not needing to have a glass of wine because he didn’t want me to embarrass him. He then would buy me one dark beer that I didn’t like and told me to just try something different and say drink up one after another and tell me to stop nursing my beer. Then get upset with me if I got the least bit silly. I would want to stay and listen to the band and he would say, no I can’t bring you anywhere. We are going home. He would say, now there’s a good momma. Or compliment a cashier or stare at a waitress directly and intimidate them to laugh and say wow your eyes your making me nervous! I’d say yah I know he’s got that charisma right? Sometimes he would say yeah the chicks dig me. And how he could charm anyone. Or well maybe if you don’t like how I think my next girlfriend will.
Oh yeah he would triangulate me with my kid sister in person and say why did you offer her half of your blueberry muffin you don’t listen, you know she can’t eat anything with seeds (after she said oh no thank you, and I said oh yeah sorry I forgot) he actually complimented her while I was getting my birthday facial and sat with her in the car waiting on me and treated her and my niece and nephew like best friends.. which was fine. But he secretly sat there and said you act like you are in a fog sit down in the waiting room and I was almost in tears during my “birthday “ facial making me seem ungrateful. He also started a political conversation about the confederate flag knowing I had a disagreement with him about it earlier and caused a huge fight with me and my sister . I said why would you want a confederate flag hanging from your porch in the north and they said because it was historic and an antique. I have had to feel guilty being jealous of my own siblings he tried to plot them against me knowing our political differences. Then my sis puts the coffee ready to just push the button in the morning and he said, now THATs smart.. I like that.. why don’t you ever do things like that and think ahead?
Daughter is Covert like her dad. She does that. She exaggerates her very arrogant voice and says "the family " ...meaning her dad's new supply group. I ignore her when she speaks with an Arrogant voice....because it's so dumb and Arrogance is a sign of being fake and being insecure.
I have completely lost my ability to be jealous.
I wish I could.
Lmao me too
@@pamkay1756 Well Pam, here is some advice a friend gave me years ago (Rest in Peace Mandy) "Someone trying to make you jealous, really don't want or care about you. They just want attention from you to boost their own confidence, while lowering yours in the process."
@@KennyJ702 Yeah, I know he doesn't want me. He called me a turn off. He's just keeping me handy until he finds someone better. We're currently not speaking. It's been about 4 days no contact and I hope I stay away from him. I'm not happy when I'm with him. He makes me feel uncomfortable. He knows all too well what buttons to push to get a negative over the top reaction.
Thanks for the comment. I had a feeling that's what he's doing. Take care.
He was all the time showing me "girls" that were trying to talk to him on snap or IG and got really mad cuz i wasn't jealous or said "I trust u" lol
My narc husband will always comment on how beautiful other women are... Or notice the "little things" about them, such as nails, earring etc... Even talk about their bodies, how amazing it is that some women have the "perfect" bodies, But when I dress up, look pretty or wear something striking for him. He doesn't even batter an eye lid and will look at me as if I'm just wearing a pair of jeans and t shirt around the house.
In the Beginning this really used to affect me, I felt so insecure and ugly that he wouldn't even say anything to me to compliment me. Now, I couldn't give two $hits what he thinks of me. I dress up and look pretty because I want to feel good. Don't care what he thinks anymore.
@@pamkay1756 it is very hard I know. Bless you x
@@CountYourAssets Thank you. Best wishes to you. Bless you, too xx
They would try to get me jealous of everything and everyone. It didn't matter what it was they knew and had the best
he would constantly bring up this girl at his job that wouldn't even look twice at him. I can't believe I dated someone so ugly for 7 years. I actually loved him. he is inside outside ugly.
We went out and met a whole bunch of people and he told me when we got home that none of the men thought I was attractive.... I was so stunned by such an odd comment out of the blue..... I have never forgotten it. He kept his hand on my knee all night long. When he discarded me and the word got around I had one of the men contact me to ask me on a date 🤷♀️
Drop it like it's hot. Peace! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
They will just randomly bring up people and situations that they know will make you mad and jealous you don’t even have to be talking to them about non and they will bring up something to make you mad or start argument and then get mad at you for getting mad at them
I went to a big open air party once with my narc wife . It was a family and friends party . She spent the entire evening talking to other men , whilst looking over to me to see if I was noticing . This was the beginning of the end of us . I stayed calm and said nothing as she was probably trying to get a reaction from me in front of her family . Nasty woman.
Sorry you had to go through such degradation. You deserve far better. You deserve to be honoured and respected. Because that's what you gave her at a time she didn't deserve it.
@@gerardleroux5784 thanks Gerard. I do deserve better and I'm starting to realise it . Always took the back seat with myself , making sure she was happy and the children were happy . To me this is normal in a healthy relationship, my job was to provide , house , warmth , clothes , food etc . Never really did anything just for me , I bought a second hand push bike once , I was told I was selfish . I laugh about it now . 😂 . Thinking about getting a motorbike , need more speed !!
@@patrickkennedy7165 You know that is the aspect I regard to be the most evil. Because they make toxicity seem normal to such a level, you become nothing to YOURSELF! You're already dealing with a partner whom you are a nothing to and then they convert you into joining them, thinking nothing about yourself.
I've fallen down stairs and been knocked unconscious already. Shouting out for help and waking up by myself once again, just to discover she never came to my aid.
With the excuse being, you know I don't hear anything when I sleep. Yet when they get up, it's lights on! I'm awake, so everyone better be awake now!
You were raked over the coals for a damn push bike? Well you're talking to a bike, so I encourage you, go after your bike! Pursue your happiness and make it an unwavering priority! You did it for an evil person. Now double the effort for you because you are a good person with a good heart and you deserve happiness every shape and form.
@@gerardleroux5784 that sounds scary, to call out for help and nothing happens only to find yourself dealing with it on your own. That sums up a relationship with a narc . They never cared.
Onwards and upwards.
Lol , this brings a smile to me as I remember the narc trying to make me jealous, I told him when he was chatting to this woman ,I said to him are you trying to make me jealous am not the jealous type he was angry it was the start of the red flags, he said that he was a flirt ,sorry your type of person isn't good for me ,so you can go your own way, he started to cry that just made it worse I thought what a horrible person, happy to say he left am happy on my own..warning he did tried to come back after 2 year he got the grey rock, I thank God every day he's away..
LOVE the grey rock!
My first test was when he kept telling his female friend he loved her on Facebook and commenting on all her stuff. He constantly told everybody that he loved them as he is the spiritual guru new age narc cult leader type but he did it more to this girl because he knew I didn't like her due to a confrontational comment she made about what I did. When I confronted him on it he snapped at me that it was a boundary breaker for me to behave in that kind of manner towards other women when he had done no wrong and I had jealousy issues. He had only been living with me a few weeks at this point. I can't believe I dismissed this red flag and it's taken me almost 11 months after reverse discard to realise what that was! Turned out, this woman and I began getting on and became close - this is when his jealousy came out and he began freaking out and punishing me for meeting her. Turned out she knew too much info and knew women he was grooming and this was why I had crossed the line by being her friend and our children playing.... I see exactly what that was all about now!!!
Thanku!!! This is exactly what my husband did to me. He triangulated me with another women that he'd liked since childhood and figured it was okay to spend time alone with her, as she is now widowed and was actuality flirting with him the day after her husband died, and at her husbands Wake. I called out the flirting and his so-called right to spend time alone with her, and was told i had trust issues, that I was F'n stupid, to soak my F'n head, was called an F'n Mother F'er and to F'n drop dead!! He raised his fist as if to plow me in the face with it (but didn't), yet the anger and despicable hate in his eyes was terrifying. At that moment he killed what little was left!! I told him to leave and he can have her that i just don't care anymore. He's still here and can't understand what he did wrong and why I'm still angry.... and still thinks it's okay as a married man to spend time alone with her. 🤯👎👹😵💫
This 1000% True! Been through this. 💯💯💯💯
Nothing they say is worth hearing, nor what their enablers say.
Yes,they will always bring up their exes in the conversations.These remarks were the first red flags which I ignored as I had no idea what i had been dealing with at that time. I could not understand why out of sudden i started to experience jealousy…i had never been and I am not a jealous person. I had not known this feeling before I met my ex and thank God after a few years of healing I don’t suffer from any jealousy…even now when he has a new supply.the feeling of jealousy he created for me was one of the most painful ones and almost drove me insane!!! Thank you Danish,your videos are truly helpful xxx
My last ex even admitted that he loved when I reacted to him making me jealous because it meant I cared about him
Some people might think the victim is the narcissist because they are jealous and others start to think they are crazy but they don't realize a narcissist destroys a person's self esteem, makes them feel not good enough, inferior, makes them feel insecure in the relationship, makes them feel jealous and like they are competing with other women for them.
I was "lucky" because my ex was a mysogynist. He never looked at another woman. He hates women. He despises them. He prefers men. He married me to hate on me.
Oh so I was "dating" ur ex probably xD
This video is just so SPOT ON 👍 thank you.
Plz make an another video on super empath vs narcissist
We always face it dear brother. He always compares me as well as my children with unnecessary people in all aspects directly or indirectly. But we never give him a chance to satisfy instead we react as if we don't care or directly tell him not to talk of any one again in front of us.
His conniving tactic will not work with me. I told him, I'll be very happy if he moved to his next her supply. I will definitely celebrate that day. I'm not a jealous type person. Too bad for him. I'm not what he thinks.
My ex best friend brought up a guy I liked in HIGH SCHOOL that didn’t like me back…we are now 35 she thought it would make me feel insecure 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
yes 100%i guess they do it on purpose ...
This is 1000% true. My narc ex told me this young kid was into and even insinuated that I called him a model. A conversation I had never ever had but she insisted on it. I confronted him about it and he looked totally shocked, so did his dad btw. He then asked if he can go over to my car to enquire what he said and when he said such things because he would never do that. He knows she's much older than him, that she's in a relationship with me and that he would never over step such a boundary because it isn't the way he was raised. I told him I believe him and that there was no need for evidence.
She said absolutely nothing. Not sorry for making up this lie. Not, how do you feel about me now. Nothing. Pretended like that even had never occured.
Since then however, I've heard how much her boss is after her, how much the guy next door wants her number, how her brother's friend wants her even though she's married and when I interject with, "well how did they get your number or why was he at your work place and how does he even know where you work" it's always the same answer. Shrouded in different webs of lies and cover ups because narcs never expect you to unravel the details and lies have no trace. They're fake so they have no details. And they're heavy flirtatious outrightly in front of you. I'd even go missing at parties just to see how long it would take her to notice I'm not in her company like the rest of the couples are. Record stands at 3 hours, while I was the MC at her own brother's wedding and do you know who came looking for me because they could feel my presence was missing? The bride and groom. While she was getting wasted and dancing with so many people but when I request to dance, "my feet are sore. I'm tired. Or I'm not in the mood."
There you should have spotted when her feet was sore ! A true girl would never leave your side in a party, and if she knew Someone s hitting on her she d ask you to to screw those bastards
Thank you so much for this video. I realy needed this.🙏
My soon ex husband became an uncle and he went to the hospital to visit his niece. He never ever wanted contact with his family or loved them.
When I had my son he came to the hospital with a sigh and stayed only 15 minutes and only picked up our son because I told him to.
Last time he asked me if I saw his niece already and that she is so cute bla bla. My body has been aching so much the last few days, because of all the trauma he put me through and the memories he brought up. He can go to the hospital but he can't come on a Sunday to visit his kids to play with them, because it is to tiring to come by train (40min).
Could you please do a video how to let go of these thoughts and how not to get emotional over their wanted triggers.
Run away over hills with Kids and hide , get support, no contact is the Best tbing
@@andrejinatinta3061 I wish it were that easy. In Germany the father has so many rights. I can't even travel in the EU without his signature. To get sole custody in Germany is almost impossible...one has to be half dead for the court to agree. As long as the father isn't harming the children the mother is expected to cooperate, so the father can see the children weekly no matter what he did to her or what he did to the kids in the past.
Very very true
Excellent advice
That it so true! My ex did that 😅
True
Absolutely 🎉
Running ❤🎉
I looked at Danishes questions and answers. yes he is a high range narcissist
CORRECT
My ex narc husband had 2 kids on me while we were married, all 3 of us pregnant at the same time smh
We have been divorced going on 4 years! Can you speak on how they intentionally go out and have other kids to make you jealous....he STILL to this day tries to throw those kids in my face to make me jealous! Sick individual
He used to tell me .. your going out looking like that? Then maybe once he said I looked nice at a wedding dinner. Most of the time he picked out my clothes and I would have to try on things and he would get upset and talk about my weight, chipped nail polish or something about me not needing to have a glass of wine because he didn’t want me to embarrass him. He then would buy me one dark beer that I didn’t like and told me to just try something different and say drink up one after another and tell me to stop nursing my beer. Then get upset with me if I got the least bit silly. I would want to stay and listen to the band and he would say, no I can’t bring you anywhere. We are going home.
He would say, now there’s a good momma. Or compliment a cashier or stare at a waitress directly and intimidate them to laugh and say wow your eyes your making me nervous! I’d say yah I know he’s got that charisma right? Sometimes he would say yeah the chicks dig me. And how he could charm anyone. Or well maybe if you don’t like how I think my next girlfriend will.
my grandma is jealous beacus i do funny things
Oh yeah he would triangulate me with my kid sister in person and say why did you offer her half of your blueberry muffin you don’t listen, you know she can’t eat anything with seeds (after she said oh no thank you, and I said oh yeah sorry I forgot) he actually complimented her while I was getting my birthday facial and sat with her in the car waiting on me and treated her and my niece and nephew like best friends.. which was fine. But he secretly sat there and said you act like you are in a fog sit down in the waiting room and I was almost in tears during my “birthday “ facial making me seem ungrateful. He also started a political conversation about the confederate flag knowing I had a disagreement with him about it earlier and caused a huge fight with me and my sister . I said why would you want a confederate flag hanging from your porch in the north and they said because it was historic and an antique. I have had to feel guilty being jealous of my own siblings he tried to plot them against me knowing our political differences. Then my sis puts the coffee ready to just push the button in the morning and he said, now THATs smart.. I like that.. why don’t you ever do things like that and think ahead?
My bleddy ex said that his ex gf wanted to meet him up at the bar. She wanted him very badly it seems and he saw my reaction.
Daughter is Covert like her dad. She does that. She exaggerates her very arrogant voice and says "the family " ...meaning her dad's new supply group. I ignore her when she speaks with an Arrogant voice....because it's so dumb and Arrogance is a sign of being fake and being insecure.