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I see it like this but more negative 😂 like both of them suck. Lydia is weird and did weird things but I think Uche is a straight up horrible person (the way he talks down to people, specifically women, his condescension, his deep rooted hate of women ETA: especially of black women& his colorism)
I’m a senior in high school and I really appreciate this channel because I haven’t had a lot of connections with people and you help me understand my own emotions and feelings
If you decide to pursue higher education, I highly recommend finding a major/minor along the lines of Family Relations-this channel basically feels like the classes I use to take!!!! So much emotional intelligence and self awareness gained
@@br191dIt depends on what her interest is but right now it looks like it's just to help herself emotionally regulate or understand her feelings/view on stuff. So I would suggest therapy like DBT which would probably help her more.
The way Lydia immediately got pissed when Aaliyah told her that Uche wants a future with her says A LOT! She showed so much disappointment and contempt. Her behavior is gross and she clearly had feelings about Uche moving on from her.
I don't know if she had an issue with him moving on, but i do think she was a little bitter and it confused her because she didn't understand why he didn't want that with her. Especially because she felt her and Aaliyah were so similar.
@AlleyahEdream I think her thinking Aaliyah was so much like her was projection. Had they met in another situation or scenario, I am not sure that connection would be so pronounced in their minds. They are basically bonding over the same man.
@productioninquiries881 I partially agree, I think they had similar experiences and values which made Lydia think she saw herself in Aaliyah. Also Uche probably treated Lydia the same way he treated Aaliyah
just food for thought, but if Uche really did cheat on Lydia, then was dishonest with aaliyah about it, then got mad at aaliyah for doing the same, was Lydia not at least a little valid in being disapproving of their relationship? it came off protective in my opinion, but lydia is very complex so nothing is black or white with her.
I told my wife, when they showed that scene of Lydia and Uche first encountering each other in the Pods, it looks like Lydia is trying to date and Uche is the one that shut that down. And I agree with you that Lydia was wrong for overstepping and sharing all of that info about Uche. Her telling alyiah about them sleeping together recently was fine. But everything else was disrespectful, especially when she told lydia she didn’t want to know all that
I agree, I also got the impression that Lydia wanted them to rekindle something but when Uche said it would jeopardize the experiment she played cool and went along with what he said.
I think Lydia gets so swept up in her own emotions and can't see outside of herself. From what I saw it seemed like Lydia had been holding on to everything and finally got to share all of it. When Aaliyah says I don't want to know, Lydia barely acknowledged her in not even sure if she actually comprehended what she was doing
@@AlleyahEdream that does not excuse her actions. It's the fact that she doesn't seem accountable and deflects or gets up in arms when she is confronted that is off putting
@@snailmailmagic1133 Again, you continue to use this comment as if it excuses Lydia's behavior. It doesn't. Both Lydia and Uche went to producers and made their own decisions about how they wanted to proceed in the pods regarding their relationship at a certain point. Lydia is a grown damn woman. If Lydia had been a decent person, she would have done as she had in other situations and said 'No' to the producers. Production guides participants. Participants DON'T have to comply. Lydia chose to do this and it shows everything we already knew about her lack of character.
Uche seems VERY calculated. I think he’s constantly observing people and changing his dialogue based off of that. Very interested in your take on that in future videos. I appreciate Milton being so level headed for a young guy, I believe he is the perfect pair to Lydia because he can add logic to all of her emotion.
Lydia is a gray area. I think Lydia lacks awareness in general. She lacked self awareness with Aaliyah when she kept telling her about Uche. She lacked awareness of Izzy's tone on the pods. I rewatched their date with my eyes closed and could still tell he wasn't interested. Even when Uche brings up how she was outside his house saying "i see you" she probably was passing by and thought it would be funny without even thinking about how Uche would take it. There's so many other instances where Lydia's idea of something didn't translate to what actually happened
This. She appears to be self absorbed, while holding her center in other people- so she seems unaware of herself. I think she is afraid of being with herself, afraid that she is not an OK person- so constantly needing validation from others and always connecting with herself through others. Whatever is happening with others is reframed as about her. And because she is afraid of not being good enough, she reframes everything about others as being confirmation of her greatness or an attack to devalue her. If someone expresses something they don’t like about her, she can’t stand it because she feels so fragile about her self esteem that criticism feels like it will blow her world up. She can’t see others as themselves because they are all props for her self esteem. Her disclosure to Aaliyah is a moment for her to affirm her greatness, her value. It isn’t about what Aaliyah needs or wants because Aaliyah isn’t a separate entity, she’s a prop for Lydia to get what she needs for her self esteem. When Lydia is telling Aaliyah to look at her and saying they are the same- she is again- using Aaliyah’s emotions and experience to center herself (Lydia’s self) as the focal point of the experience. Aaliyah’s emotions are about Lydia’s emotions, Aaliyah’s experience is about Lydia’s experience, Aaliyah’s relationship with Uche is about Lydia’s relationship with Uche. Milton’s fear about being in a wheelchair is about Lydia’s experience of Milton in a wheelchair and her taking care of him as evidence of her greatness. It’s not about his fear or handicap or his feelings or experience. Milton makes it very hard for Lydia to center herself through him. He is very secure within himself while Lydia appears to be very insecure. It is an opportunity for her to learn to center within herself or she will leave because she feels untethered. In my opinion.
@e.mountain1637 I can definitely see her being self absorbed to a degree. I can see her doing that as a way to show that she relates and to express that she's there for them or will be going through it as well with them. It just comes off wrong. I also think that she's still healing from her relationship with Uche in which we can see how he tears down women's self esteem and self worth, so when she's being criticized it takes her back to that place.
@@AlleyahEdreamseeing how anxiously attached she is, I doubt she’s just healing from her relationship with Uche, especially considering they were only together for a couple of months. She’s probably attached to several guys in the past who weren’t good for her and those relationship dynamics are normal for her.
@melissaherrera940 I think it's was more than a couple of months. They were in a situationship long enough for her to meet his family and friends. But when I said she was healing from Uche it's because I don't know the character of any one else she was with. The way Uche talked down to women, I can only assume he did the same to her.
I feel like Lydia was trying to one up Aliyah because A is now being chosen by someone L was rejected by. Like A is clearly uncomfortable in that conversation. There was no reason for L to say all of that
"Lydia latches on to people really quickly." Exactly. And she constantly seeked for someone "loving her as she are" and to me it felt like that just could be anybody and that she wouldn't really be interested in the person but just in that validation that she could get from them. I'm surprised that you don't touch on that. To me it seemed like she hadn't healed her selfacceptance-wound at all and constantly needed other people to fill that void and put on a show to just get that validation. She also latched on to Aaliyah strongly. When she repeated "look at me" several times it felt like she overstepped any boundary there and didn't give Aaliyah her space to process and be with her emotions. She violently interrupted her process.
I think everything Uche did was calculated! I’m not understanding how they had all this history, and he doesn’t know who she is when they speak in the pods (and she does have a distinct voice). Pretending he doesn’t even know her makes it easy to drive the narrative that he didn’t know she would be there. They’re saying that Lydia was the obsessed one but even before all the drama Uche was trying to talk Milton out of marrying Lydia which Milton confined at the reunion but also we 100% saw and heard that in the guys quarters! I never saw Lydia try to talk Aaliyah out of dating Uche! Both of them did some questionable things but Uche oi, se pasó
I agree that Lydia as flaunting her knowledge of Uche because Aaliyah literally said that she didn’t want to know but Lydia kept on. It was unnecessary. I agree it was right for Lydia to say when they last slept together but everything else was not needed.
I think Lydia's intentions is one of these 2 things . 1.) As if to say , Without this show, I can pull a winner ( like Uche) 2.) To solidify no.1 , She has to prove that it wasn't just friends with benefits situation, because she probably expected Uche to act like they barely knew each other, so she is adding the extra details about the things that she knows about Uche. As if to say " We were in an ACTUAL relationship, , a girl he was just hooking up with COULDN'T know all of the things that I know about him"( as she proceeds to give all the information she knows and all the experiences she had with him, while ignoring Aliyah's plea for her to stop.)
I think that in the beginning Lydia might not have had the truest intentions and likely came on the show wanting to reconnect with Uche. That said, I do think her feelings for Milton are genuine and she ended the show with the right intentions. She really did want to get married, and maybe had a fantasy of Uche in the back of her mind but when that didn't pan out she had an open mind with her other connections, including her connection with Izzie. That's why she was able to fall in love with Milton and have a happy ending
I think the producers definitely had a huge impact on this season! Even with Uche and Lydia having their confrontation, I do think the producers definitely set it up for them to talk & have the rest of the cast there. It just made the season super messy & put a lot less focus on the actual couples
I think Lydia realized Milton was better than Uche in the job sector, and that Milton was able to make her feel secure and I think she loved him for that. If Milton had given into her little tantrum at the rock museum, it would have made the dynamic weird between them and Kydia would have had the upper hand (my opinion)
Lydia getting up in Aliyah's grill on the sofa was SO CRINGE! I was yelling at the TV for her to shut up. As for the party, good Lord! What a mass of dysfunction! Especially Uche trying to speak with Lydia alone and then speaking with Milton alone like Uche was trying to get Milton to change his mind about Lydia. I hope you do an episode or at least part of an episode about Stacy because I found her very suspish & suspect in the way she attacked Johnnie at the party.
Excellent analysis; I agree with everything you said. I think Uche exaggerated Aaliyah's and Lydia's offenses, and he minimized his own. I think Milton is a rock star, emotionally intelligent jiu jitsu master. I think Lydia and Aaliyah are beautiful, intelligent and compassionate women who are ready for love. Uche needs to hold himself accountable and stop judging others so harshly. His implications that Lydia was emotionally unhinged were cruel and I lament that people still believe the smear campaign.
Thank you for pointing out that Lydia twisted the story about starting from ground zero with Ache! No one talks about that but she definitely lied about who wanted to rekindle the relationship!
I agree - Uche has shut it down with Lydia in the pods. And she was still into him. But I think later on he was the one more obsessed with Lydia, after seeing her happy with someone else.
I feel like more angry than obsessed. I think he wanted to get revenge. We could say he’s obsessed if he’s still coming after her long after the show ended.
I think Lydia had the word vomit moment with Aaliyah because a. It was edited context sewed together, b. I think she was intoxicated and c. She was unstable
I feel like Lydia shared all those things about Uche because she wanted to demonstrate that she REALLY knew him, and she wasn’t just a fling. Like she was in his car, meeting his friends all that lol. I think she knew he wasn’t a huge factor in his life but she accepted these small signs that, to her, she was.
I think you nailed it when he said that Lydia has an anxious attachment, which can come across as really desperate for affirmation from these guys. When she was getting really desperate with Milton, I was actually shocked that he gave her a chance. I think the harder you cling to someone, the more they pull away. So I was pretty shocked that he stayed with her.
This push - pull dynamic is very common you’re right, but generally when the other person is also insecurely attached but in an avoidant manner. The pulling from the anxious person triggers the push in the avoidant and repeat cycle. If the other person is securely attached and secure in themselves (which I think Milton feels like he is), they can provide the stability / security that the anxious person needs to balance. Apologies if you know this but saw your comment and thought it would be a helpful addition
I find the bit where uche and lidya meet very odd Uche says: "is this a sign?" What did he mean by that? Because as soon as lydia agreed and said they should try dating - he took back control of the narrative and shot her down Theres some debate about Uche having a narcissistic personality - can you touch on that Anya? - why it might or might not be so Loving all these videos - find it very helpful to reflect on this content!
I really liked Lydia, I think people like to take their opinions a little too far but at the same time I can see why she's annoying. I feel like she's so smart but when it comes to love and relationships she's clueless and has no awareness on how she's perceived and it's annoying because she's clearly intelligent and confident so it's like girl you got this, keep it together!
Lydia said "I knew him from his breathing." That alone, I would have broken ties with Uche. cause...what!?! Also, Lydia possesses the ability to hold back information cause when the producers had her keep quiet. MOUTH WAS SHUT. Then she just wouldn't shut up once she was allowed to talk. But then watching her get so attached and get rejected multiple times on the show made me feel bad for her. She needed so much and I don't know if she ever got it. I don't believe that the producers didn't know this was gonna happen BEFORE the show began, I personally can't believe they didn't know these two dated each other.
I think Lydia shared so much to Aaliyah because maybe it was something she thought they could bond over 🤷🏽♀️ because Aaliyah said they were close in the pods so maybe Lydia thought “well me and my friend both have/had problems with the same guy so maybe this is a opportunity to help her and I can be the best friend that she needs right now” that’s one way I can see it
We need to have a conversation about how folks like Lydia, who clearly lack emotional regulation skills, use The little bit of emotional intelligence they have to manipulate others. Lydia crossed numerous boundaries of different people in very emotionally violent ways, yet it seems to be excused over and over again. Disrespecting boundaries is not passion. Forcing relationships on people for your own agenda is not being empathetic. Not sure why you keep giving Lydia a pass while critiquing smaller things that other people do. Why do we assume best intentions, when Lydia has showed us how manipulative she can be?
25:43 I think you’re right, from what they showed us, but there are a couple things that could have happened to make me change my mind, either they went in knowing and playing their part either how they were told or how they had planned OR they didn’t show us the full scene so we are missing some context for exactly how it went down.
I feel like Uche felt like Lydia messed up his relationship with Aliyah so he then wanted to put Lydia in a bad light to Milton and ruin her relationship.
I love your videos and your perspective on these relationships!! I agree with so much of what you say. I can see what you mean by the Instagram stories, the way I saw it was that even though those people’s stories are public, if you know you’re ex hangs around certain people, and then you specifically go watch their story so that you can see what they’re doing, it could show signs of someone who is obsessive over their ex. I would love to know your opinion on this point of view!
I agree and noticed that too that in the flashback when Lydia and Uche first found out they were in the pods, Lydia seemed to be the one suggesting to start over and Uche was like no. And then later on Lydia said it was the other way around. Thanks for pointing that out! And in the reunion, I feel like the producers, Nick and Vanessa supported Lydia's version. About the "IG stalking", I have had that happen to me and it can be a bit uncomfortable when a woman that is connected on IG with a guy you're talking to is viewing your stories, almost keeping tabs on you. To me, it's not a major deal in which I would be incredibly scared but I can speak from experience that it feels uncomfortable. So based on that , I understand why these women went to Uche and asked him about it. But I think Uche made a bigger deal about it than it was. He could have confronted Lydia about it nicely when it was happening...unless there was a reason why he was hesitant to do so.
I don't know why more people seem to forget the clip of Day 1, where Lydia & Uche met in the pods & Lydia asked for another chance w/ Uche. & he shot her down! That right there was a huge missing piece in all of what people are saying. That defines how Lydia acted towards Aaliyah. Aaliyah really got played by both Lydia & Uche, but more so Lydia.
I agree with all your insights here. It definitely seemed like Lydia was interested in trying again when she and Uche first reconnected in the pods, and he shut it down. And they both mistreated Aliyah. I like Lydia, and I like her relationship with Milton, but she was wrong for spilling her guts to Aliyah in the pods like that. Lydia generally seems to be good at reading people's emotions, and Aliyah's discomfort was all over her face, but Lydia totally ignored it and babbled on and on about Uche. That made me very uncomfortable.
Good video! I don't think that Lydia is a bad person either. As of a matter of fact I think that when she spilled information about Uche to Aaliyah she could've thought she was looking out for Aaliyah by giving her some heads up about Uche, like that she's chosen a good man and added a bonus like he's got a nice house and a cute dog. I do think she said all that with good intentions and yes she is still bad at following boundaries.
24:00 I think Lydia is probably one of those people who aren't so good at keeping secrets, being such an open and talkative person, and so once she was allowed to speak about Uche and about knowing him, the dam had broken and she couldn't help disclosing absolutely every bit of information she had about him, whether or not it was relevant, nor was she in a state of mind where she could even register how it affected Aaliyah*. I don't think it was malicious or intentional, but it's definitely something she could work on. Then again, being in the pods, it's not like she could release all that pent-up restless dump of information she was holding back by texting a friend or something. To me it just seems like she didn't have any coping skills available to her and doesn't have enough of a handle on her impulses to hold back and be more thoughtful in that moment.
As a latina, when Lydia was looking for Milton she just want to get out in that moment and was feeling that urgent. She just want "her men" "su marido" and run away. That's just the way we usually look for our significant other in times of need
Lydia evidently had an attachment to Uche because they had literally just slept together a few months ago. A lot of people form an attachment through sexual intimacy and if he had been super nice to her during a difficult time, then of course she was going to form an attachment bond with him. Also as someone with ADHD, I can see similar traits in Lydia. Someone with ADHD has higher empathy levels then a neurotypical person. We also tend to have RSD, rejection sensitivity disorder which is a disorder whereby we react a lot more emotionally when we are rejected by someone. Nobody is necessarily a villain. Mental health is a lot more complex than that. I beleive Uche definitely has narcissistic tendencies with how he reacted to towards the women at that party. And the fact he cheated and then brought up she was a stalker. People with NPD tend to focus on tbe reaction rather than focus on the actions that caused a person to react that way.
Day one she wanted Izzy. She bent the block and came back to Milton. She also framed it where her and Uche decided together that they would not try to date each other but others. When the video shows it was Uche who shut her down. Her actions don’t line up with pure intentions
I totally agree with the fact that there was no victim ‼️I love Milton and Lydia.......Lydia wanted love ....like everybody there but Izzy he wanted to come up with somebody else money........
23:54 I think she commented bc she was excited for her friend, her voice sounded more like excited than trying to do something else u know?! Well I don't agree with it but I also didn't feel like she was trying to make her friend feel bad. What do u guys think?
i feel like lydia did everything good except the word vomit. She should not have crossed boundaries with that with multiple people. As someone who has issues with word vomit, I can relate to her but also, I come from a childhood where I was either not allowed to share things or I was constantly forced to share personal things I didn't want to. Moreso, I just think that's something she has to work on herself with because she doesn't have the right boundaries with that. I wasn't taught that either and my mom has issues with that too and I have had people criticize me like how she is being criticized but it was purely ignorant. I also realized Lydia befriended alliyah before she got involved with the dude. If I was in her situation, because I love easily, I would purposefully try to comfort her because I know him and how he's like. Not in a "I want information on him" way. But I know that's how it seems and looks like. I think it's all a huge misunderstanding and I realize most people aren't as malicious or strategic as other people accuse them to be. Otherwise, I think she was mostly ignorant and dealing with her emotions of guilt and shame for keeping the truth (but it was pushed on her from the producers). As someone who has similar clairvoyant instincts as her, she explicitely said that she had a feeling she was going to meet someone. I have feelings like that too very often and I know people who don't have it will never understand. I've also talked to my friends and partner about clairvoyant feelings and they never have that. But if I have a feeling something is going to happen a particular day, it usually does. It's a clairvoyance thing and she clearly explained it in the show but i think a lot of people don't have those experiences so they think it must be that she knew he was going to be there. I'm pretty sure she was telling the truth and it can be shown in her body language too that she was not lying most of the time.
Not defending what he does but my opinion is that he felt like he was wrong or robbed from getting into whatever it could be explored with Aaliyah whether that was relationship engagement marriage he felt like he was robbed of that very similar to how Aaliyah felt. I think the reason why he went to the barbecue Was to confront Lydia on that, and in someway be petty and get some type of payback me personally I think Lydia absolutely sabotage Aaliyah‘s chances. I cannot see it any other way that was delivered. I watch this 1000 times I’ve listen to different perspectives. Lydia did what she did on purpose to that effect or I can understand why he went to the barbecue to try to get his pound of flesh as it were, and get some revenge because from his point of you, he’ll be damned if he loses out on his opportunity to get into a relationship or marriage, but Lydia doesn’t, especially when he feels that he was wrong by Lydia as well.
This. People giving Lydia the benefit of the doubt with the atrocious scene where she bulldozers Aliyah and marks her territory in regards to Uche need to take a second look. Lydia was very clearly sabotaging A&U and taking away both their autonomy on progressing with getting to know each other. That was her dropping a bomb in the most destructive way possible; and it worked. She’s manipulative so disguised it as clumsiness verbally - which I’ve seen her do a few times. She plays the passionate; romantic innocent but I truly spot a snake.
when I first watched it, I thought Lydia, was being vindictive when she was sharing all that information with the aalyiah but watching it back with you and hearing your commentary and also trying to understand Lydia better I think she was doing what most girls would do for their friends, which is tell them everything they know about somebody before they let their friend get involved. When I first watched it, I thought she was bragging and being vindictive, but I put myself in her shoes and it just felt like a friend telling another friend hey, this is all I know about this person I’m gonna tell you this whole side of our story so that there’s nothing I could ever catch you off guard because if I want to preserve our friendship, then you need to know everything so that we don’t have secrets anymore.
@j4m3s1 Aaliyah explained that during an interview. She left because of a big fight with Lydia after she started talking about Uche AGAIN. That was the last straw for her.
I think Lydia's intention telling her all those things was not ill-willed. The only reason I think this is because to me Lydia comes off as someone who thinks so emotionally and is so open she just thought she was sharing her experience and maybe needed to vent about it to someone. Now was it right on her to do that to Aaliyah, definitely not. She didn't read that situation correctly at all. Or she just ignored the discomfort in order to make herself feel better about her past. Idk. Either way, Aaliyah needed to run from Uche, he did not seem ready for marriage to me.
Lydia just seems like the average woman who has been through tons of mess in today’s current dating world from what I can tell. Some of that experience, especially by her age, can’t help but spillover into how she interacts with future people, even new friends. But I also think anyone that falls for any of Uche’s games, as we also get to literally watch his dishonesty with all these other people in the pods, is just being intentionally slow lol. I’m not saying Uche is a villain but he is definitely not a healthy partner for any woman at this time, and he needs to work on that a lot. So it makes sense to me that Lydia was pissed at him, especially since all his mistreatment of her when they dated was so recent! I think most people would struggle to not let that sore spot show, and would hate to find out they’re in this whole experience with an ex. Regardless, I’m actually surprised that Lydia was able to make a real connection and get married after all of that drama! At first I didn’t think she and Milton were a good match, especially because of the geology thing lol! To me, career matching stuff is superficial, and I wouldn’t care one bit if a guy I’m dating is in or out of my career field at all. But then I could see how important it is to Milton, and that he valued that deeper understanding of his work and the geology connection between he and Lydia so I knew they had a chance. Overall it’s nice that they actually worked out, and I love seeing a couple be happy and actually make it!
On one hand Uche is suffering from crazy stalking ex, that follows him around and on another hand he wasn't able to recognize her very distinct 'Ushe' pronunciation? Something is not adding up
I think Lydia exposed the information about Uche’s lifestyle as a way to not bash him and boast about him a little. Including the fact that she’s known him longer, she can be a base of more info about him, and to help guide Aaliyah if she needed it. She was excited she was able to reveal this info finally and spilled to her closest friend in the pod. It wasn’t right but since she is curious she’d think Aaliyah would wanna know it like she would have
You should break down Uche. He seemed mature but he got ice cold super fast. Like there was no room for movement, once he flipped that switch he was a different person to you. Those kinds of people scare me, lol.
No one is saying this but I swear Lydia has dark eyes. I can see it every time she’s on screen & if you watch her at the reunion, you can see it so clearly. Especially when aaliyah was talking at the reunion, it looked like Lydia wanted to unalive her 😭🫣
Who knows. Wish them the best. Hopefully they know before the kids arrive. Good thing she was not with Izzy or Oche. How could Oche not recognize Liddy’s voice. He was pretending that he didn’t remember who she was. I thought she followed him onto the show but then after hearing he wanted to know everything about her on the show. I now think he followed her onto the show
I get bad vibes from her. Watching her moves in this show thru the reunion shows sinister at times and untruth worthy at others. I think she gives an ok first impression but quickly seems like too much. It’s like she tries too hard and is desperate. Perhaps focusing too hard to be liked and included. IMO, all her interactions with Aaliyah were wrong and suspect. How do you tell a “good friend” every detail about U when the show you are both on is called LOVE IS BLIND. The concept is you find out thru convo and time what the person is about. If, after production gave the ok she wanted to warn Aaliyah about something’s about Uche. That’s fair but the other details - no ma’am. Didn’t stop when asked. That’s shady. Then she cursed at Aaliyah. More shade. Then at the reunion said she didn’t read the room rather than addressing Aaliyah directly. More shade. I thought she said she loved her??? Also I think when Lydia pulled Milton away during the party she was afraid Uche would spill more tea on her. She looked so sacred when Milton was speaking to her.
The social media stuff was weird as hell. We all know if anyone said something to Uche, it was probs like one person. I highly highly doubt that multiple people randomly decided that it was weird this girl was looking at their public stories 🙄
In the pods I believe that her ultimate goal was to get married, and after her first two rejections with Izzy and Uche it didn't matter who it was. She emphasized a lot on wanting to find someone who's willing to love her, as opposed to focusing on finding someone she can connect on multiple levels with and get married to. Unlike previous cast members with this goal, her friendly personality and anxious attachment style meant that she appeared more genuine in her relationship with Milton (rebound or not) and that she wasn't on the show just for clout. It might just be the way things were edited or my bad recollection of the pod dates, but Lydia didn't focus as much on Milton's qualities that she's grown to love. It came off as "I love that you love me and you're willing to be with me". She does tend to steer some conversations to focus on her which I really disliked (ex: Milton talking about his medical issues, her weird comments when Aaliyah was berated for her past). Also, both Uche and Lydia initially having nice things to say about each other and then having a 180 on those opinions was so weird. They're both guilty of being suspicious in that sense.
I also found it super jarring how much she talked about herself as opposed to her partner or their connection. It was all about "I want to be loved for me," "my favorite thing about marriage is he has my back," etc. Watching the season, I was SURE this would come up in Steph's breakdown... I also thought she was extremely aware of how she was going to be perceived by viewers. When she was talking to his family, a lot of her answers were very generic and were meant to sound deep but were ultimately pretty meaningless, which they picked up on. And there was a lot of effort put into making herself look sympathetic. She really wanted to be the fan favorite everyone was rooting for. Overall she just came off as very fake and self-centered to me.
EXACTLY I 100% agree with you especially on the "Lydia didn't focus as much on Milton's qualities that she's grown to love. It came off as "I love that you love me and you're willing to be with me". She does tend to steer some conversations to focus on her which I really disliked."
EXACTLY I’m so glad I’m not the only one who picked up on this quite literally her vows started with “I fell in love with you because you chose me” which is SO TELLING, I couldn’t believe it
Yessssssss when she kept saying she’s just like her…. She rubbed me the wrong way. Like something was off. I could tell she knew more than she gave off and it turned out to be true… sketchy.
Right! It’s also so manipulative. Because if you are like me, then whatever I tell you to do is the right choice. So easy to manipulate a person once you convince them ur the “same”!
I remember watching the "Look at me" scene and wondering why Lydia was making Aaliyah's pain about herself. It felt so wrong. Then we saw the flashback to Lydia's moment with Uche and suddenly it all.made sense.
Lydia was doing too much imo, she can be overbearing and lacks boundaries. Izzy explained that it was only on day 2 or 3 that he broke up with her. He said it was too early for the both of them to settle after only a couple days and that he needed to explore other options. She reacted like he had asked for a divorce…like, he was literally a stranger to her at that point. Aaliyah asked to stop telling her about Uche 3 times! The 3rd time it caused a huge argument between them, which led to Aaliyah’s departure from the show.
I learn so much from you, and it literally helps me in my life and with my relationships with others. It's always a treat when I see that you have a new upload. Thank you for all the wisdom and insight you freely share with us!
it did feel very icky to see her violating Aliya's boundaries and then also crying at the reunion- I feel like both Uche and Lydia did Aliya dirty and I was really glad she got out of the weirdness. I think even though she is emotional, Lydia lacks empathy for Aliya bc she still was being territorial of her ex, and can be very controlling.
@@snailmailmagic1133 You keep commenting this as if it excuses Lydia's behavior. It doesn't. Both Lydia and Uche went to producers and made their own decisions about how they wanted to proceed in the pods regarding their relationship at a certain point. Lydia is a grown damn woman. If Lydia had been a decent person, she would have done as she had in other situations and said 'No' to the producers. Production guides participants. Participants DON'T have to comply. Lydia chose to do this and it shows everything we already knew about her lack of character.
I am so happy for this review. I thought I was going crazy watching the other reviews with very black or white thinking and wanting an ultimate villaiin. I think as a therapist, you hold room for the complexity of human beings.
I just want to say I love that you're making these videos. As a counseling student it's really nice to see a professional's perspective on the this season. I don't think I will watch Love is Blind again or the Ultimatum or shows like it, but I would watch your videos.
In an interview with Jessie Woo, Aaliyah revealed that production was prompting Lydia to keep talking about Uche. She also revealed that the scene where Lydia is talking about Uche was not all in one sitting.
That would be weird for production to encourage her to talk about Uche when it was supposed to be a secret that they knew each other and she had been doing that from the beginning. Not a Lydia hater at all. That just seems weird.
@@samanthas8340 They prompted her to keep talking about Uche after the secret was revealed. They basically instigated the situations where Lydia wouldn’t stop talking about Uche. Sorry for the confusion!
Which makes sense and is a relief to know. Lol. People aren’t recognizing just how culpable production is in this mess. In my opinion the true villain in that entire drama is production. They were awful to Aaliyah. They are to blame for why her experience there was, while allowing for some personal development, was not a good one.
No one who wasn’t there and who isn’t in these peoples’ shoes can imagine the amount of stress and pressure they are dealing with. None of us have any idea how hard it would actually be to hold in so much information, so much emotional baggage, and so many FEELINGS that would be going all up and down and around all day everyday while you’re there, without any real time and space to process. Who could be in that situation and act the way they would act normally at all. Lydia’s behavior does get more explained in the reunion. God bless 🦋
@@birdi3beez seems like the love is blind production crew gets skeezier and skeezier as the seasons go on, purposefully putting the couples in high-stress situations and bringing back people they know are only going to stir up further drama
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@stephanya She most definitely knew! And was out to prove herself worthy to Uche.
I definitely agree that there's no clear villain. Both lied about stuff, both acted bizarrely about each other. The whole triangle was a mess.
The villain is the producers lol
Yes i agree. It is never black or white
I see it like this but more negative 😂 like both of them suck. Lydia is weird and did weird things but I think Uche is a straight up horrible person (the way he talks down to people, specifically women, his condescension, his deep rooted hate of women ETA: especially of black women& his colorism)
@@hashtagmateThis
@@hashtagmate 100% agree. Lydia was dead wrong towards Aaliyah but Uche is scary
I’m a senior in high school and I really appreciate this channel because I haven’t had a lot of connections with people and you help me understand my own emotions and feelings
If you decide to pursue higher education, I highly recommend finding a major/minor along the lines of Family Relations-this channel basically feels like the classes I use to take!!!! So much emotional intelligence and self awareness gained
@@br191dIt depends on what her interest is but right now it looks like it's just to help herself emotionally regulate or understand her feelings/view on stuff. So I would suggest therapy like DBT which would probably help her more.
I agree wish I was watching these in high school
Yes this channel is so helpfull
@@br191dthat is amazing! You seem very self-reflected and smart. Keep it up, girlie :)
Lydia’s need for connection that leads to an imagined experience is a total definition of limerence.
Ooh I love a good psych word lol. I’m going to have to remember this one.
@@jolene81 right! 😂
yup. That's exactly it!!!
The way Lydia immediately got pissed when Aaliyah told her that Uche wants a future with her says A LOT! She showed so much disappointment and contempt. Her behavior is gross and she clearly had feelings about Uche moving on from her.
I don't know if she had an issue with him moving on, but i do think she was a little bitter and it confused her because she didn't understand why he didn't want that with her. Especially because she felt her and Aaliyah were so similar.
@AlleyahEdream I think her thinking Aaliyah was so much like her was projection. Had they met in another situation or scenario, I am not sure that connection would be so pronounced in their minds. They are basically bonding over the same man.
@productioninquiries881 I partially agree, I think they had similar experiences and values which made Lydia think she saw herself in Aaliyah. Also Uche probably treated Lydia the same way he treated Aaliyah
just food for thought, but if Uche really did cheat on Lydia, then was dishonest with aaliyah about it, then got mad at aaliyah for doing the same, was Lydia not at least a little valid in being disapproving of their relationship? it came off protective in my opinion, but lydia is very complex so nothing is black or white with her.
@abigailllllllllll Yess... I was thinking the same thing.
I told my wife, when they showed that scene of Lydia and Uche first encountering each other in the Pods, it looks like Lydia is trying to date and Uche is the one that shut that down.
And I agree with you that Lydia was wrong for overstepping and sharing all of that info about Uche. Her telling alyiah about them sleeping together recently was fine. But everything else was disrespectful, especially when she told lydia she didn’t want to know all that
I agree, I also got the impression that Lydia wanted them to rekindle something but when Uche said it would jeopardize the experiment she played cool and went along with what he said.
I think Lydia gets so swept up in her own emotions and can't see outside of herself. From what I saw it seemed like Lydia had been holding on to everything and finally got to share all of it. When Aaliyah says I don't want to know, Lydia barely acknowledged her in not even sure if she actually comprehended what she was doing
@@AlleyahEdream that does not excuse her actions. It's the fact that she doesn't seem accountable and deflects or gets up in arms when she is confronted that is off putting
Directors prompted her to keep talking. That’s what Aaliyah mentioned in an interview
@@snailmailmagic1133 Again, you continue to use this comment as if it excuses Lydia's behavior.
It doesn't.
Both Lydia and Uche went to producers and made their own decisions about how they wanted to proceed in the pods regarding their relationship at a certain point.
Lydia is a grown damn woman. If Lydia had been a decent person, she would have done as she had in other situations and said 'No' to the producers.
Production guides participants. Participants DON'T have to comply. Lydia chose to do this and it shows everything we already knew about her lack of character.
Uche seems VERY calculated. I think he’s constantly observing people and changing his dialogue based off of that. Very interested in your take on that in future videos.
I appreciate Milton being so level headed for a young guy, I believe he is the perfect pair to Lydia because he can add logic to all of her emotion.
Lydia is a gray area. I think Lydia lacks awareness in general. She lacked self awareness with Aaliyah when she kept telling her about Uche. She lacked awareness of Izzy's tone on the pods. I rewatched their date with my eyes closed and could still tell he wasn't interested. Even when Uche brings up how she was outside his house saying "i see you" she probably was passing by and thought it would be funny without even thinking about how Uche would take it. There's so many other instances where Lydia's idea of something didn't translate to what actually happened
This. She appears to be self absorbed, while holding her center in other people- so she seems unaware of herself. I think she is afraid of being with herself, afraid that she is not an OK person- so constantly needing validation from others and always connecting with herself through others. Whatever is happening with others is reframed as about her. And because she is afraid of not being good enough, she reframes everything about others as being confirmation of her greatness or an attack to devalue her. If someone expresses something they don’t like about her, she can’t stand it because she feels so fragile about her self esteem that criticism feels like it will blow her world up. She can’t see others as themselves because they are all props for her self esteem. Her disclosure to Aaliyah is a moment for her to affirm her greatness, her value. It isn’t about what Aaliyah needs or wants because Aaliyah isn’t a separate entity, she’s a prop for Lydia to get what she needs for her self esteem. When Lydia is telling Aaliyah to look at her and saying they are the same- she is again- using Aaliyah’s emotions and experience to center herself (Lydia’s self) as the focal point of the experience. Aaliyah’s emotions are about Lydia’s emotions, Aaliyah’s experience is about Lydia’s experience, Aaliyah’s relationship with Uche is about Lydia’s relationship with Uche. Milton’s fear about being in a wheelchair is about Lydia’s experience of Milton in a wheelchair and her taking care of him as evidence of her greatness. It’s not about his fear or handicap or his feelings or experience. Milton makes it very hard for Lydia to center herself through him. He is very secure within himself while Lydia appears to be very insecure. It is an opportunity for her to learn to center within herself or she will leave because she feels untethered. In my opinion.
@e.mountain1637 I can definitely see her being self absorbed to a degree. I can see her doing that as a way to show that she relates and to express that she's there for them or will be going through it as well with them. It just comes off wrong. I also think that she's still healing from her relationship with Uche in which we can see how he tears down women's self esteem and self worth, so when she's being criticized it takes her back to that place.
@@AlleyahEdreamseeing how anxiously attached she is, I doubt she’s just healing from her relationship with Uche, especially considering they were only together for a couple of months. She’s probably attached to several guys in the past who weren’t good for her and those relationship dynamics are normal for her.
@melissaherrera940 I think it's was more than a couple of months. They were in a situationship long enough for her to meet his family and friends. But when I said she was healing from Uche it's because I don't know the character of any one else she was with. The way Uche talked down to women, I can only assume he did the same to her.
I feel like Lydia was trying to one up Aliyah because A is now being chosen by someone L was rejected by. Like A is clearly uncomfortable in that conversation. There was no reason for L to say all of that
I agreed…she said all that to make A feel uncomfortable. She defs came into the show having feelings for uche.
"Lydia latches on to people really quickly." Exactly. And she constantly seeked for someone "loving her as she are" and to me it felt like that just could be anybody and that she wouldn't really be interested in the person but just in that validation that she could get from them. I'm surprised that you don't touch on that. To me it seemed like she hadn't healed her selfacceptance-wound at all and constantly needed other people to fill that void and put on a show to just get that validation.
She also latched on to Aaliyah strongly. When she repeated "look at me" several times it felt like she overstepped any boundary there and didn't give Aaliyah her space to process and be with her emotions. She violently interrupted her process.
I think everything Uche did was calculated! I’m not understanding how they had all this history, and he doesn’t know who she is when they speak in the pods (and she does have a distinct voice). Pretending he doesn’t even know her makes it easy to drive the narrative that he didn’t know she would be there. They’re saying that Lydia was the obsessed one but even before all the drama Uche was trying to talk Milton out of marrying Lydia which Milton confined at the reunion but also we 100% saw and heard that in the guys quarters! I never saw Lydia try to talk Aaliyah out of dating Uche! Both of them did some questionable things but Uche oi, se pasó
I agree that Lydia as flaunting her knowledge of Uche because Aaliyah literally said that she didn’t want to know but Lydia kept on. It was unnecessary. I agree it was right for Lydia to say when they last slept together but everything else was not needed.
I think Lydia's intentions is one of these 2 things .
1.) As if to say , Without this show, I can pull a winner ( like Uche)
2.) To solidify no.1 , She has to prove that it wasn't just friends with benefits situation, because she probably expected Uche to act like they barely knew each other, so she is adding the extra details about the things that she knows about Uche.
As if to say " We were in an ACTUAL relationship, , a girl he was just hooking up with COULDN'T know all of the things that I know about him"( as she proceeds to give all the information she knows and all the experiences she had with him, while ignoring Aliyah's plea for her to stop.)
I think that in the beginning Lydia might not have had the truest intentions and likely came on the show wanting to reconnect with Uche. That said, I do think her feelings for Milton are genuine and she ended the show with the right intentions. She really did want to get married, and maybe had a fantasy of Uche in the back of her mind but when that didn't pan out she had an open mind with her other connections, including her connection with Izzie. That's why she was able to fall in love with Milton and have a happy ending
I think Aliyah said in an interview that she feels Lydia was qued by production to keep talking to Aaliyah about Uche home
I think the producers definitely had a huge impact on this season! Even with Uche and Lydia having their confrontation, I do think the producers definitely set it up for them to talk & have the rest of the cast there. It just made the season super messy & put a lot less focus on the actual couples
We're all waiting for Uche's analysis ! Thank you so much for your videos
I think Lydia realized Milton was better than Uche in the job sector, and that Milton was able to make her feel secure and I think she loved him for that. If Milton had given into her little tantrum at the rock museum, it would have made the dynamic weird between them and Kydia would have had the upper hand (my opinion)
Lydia getting up in Aliyah's grill on the sofa was SO CRINGE! I was yelling at the TV for her to shut up. As for the party, good Lord! What a mass of dysfunction! Especially Uche trying to speak with Lydia alone and then speaking with Milton alone like Uche was trying to get Milton to change his mind about Lydia.
I hope you do an episode or at least part of an episode about Stacy because I found her very suspish & suspect in the way she attacked Johnnie at the party.
Production this season were the true villains based on ALL the couples (even those not featured)
Excellent analysis; I agree with everything you said. I think Uche exaggerated Aaliyah's and Lydia's offenses, and he minimized his own. I think Milton is a rock star, emotionally intelligent jiu jitsu master. I think Lydia and Aaliyah are beautiful, intelligent and compassionate women who are ready for love. Uche needs to hold himself accountable and stop judging others so harshly. His implications that Lydia was emotionally unhinged were cruel and I lament that people still believe the smear campaign.
Thank you for pointing out that Lydia twisted the story about starting from ground zero with Ache! No one talks about that but she definitely lied about who wanted to rekindle the relationship!
Thinking of it I believe Lydia was open to dating Uche again
I can see now why Milton said he would have handled that party situation differently. I think the comment was justified.
I agree - Uche has shut it down with Lydia in the pods. And she was still into him. But I think later on he was the one more obsessed with Lydia, after seeing her happy with someone else.
I feel like more angry than obsessed. I think he wanted to get revenge. We could say he’s obsessed if he’s still coming after her long after the show ended.
So excited for the uche breakdown
I think Lydia had the word vomit moment with Aaliyah because a. It was edited context sewed together, b. I think she was intoxicated and c. She was unstable
Aaliyah said it happened 3 times and that is what caused her to leave.
@@ArethaReneeaaliyah also said she believes the 2 others occasions was production telling lydia what to do
the alcohol was definitely a thing eh, given what we have all heard about the availability of alcohol and lack of food on set.
Some ppl are prone to oversharing which I think was the issue that and not respecting boundaries.
All very good points here, I agree
Ive been waiting on this!!!!
Thank you for this vid!! I just watched the vid on Milton so I was definitely ready to hear your thoughts on Lydia cuz sheesh 😫🥴🤣
I love learning from the videos on this channel. I’ve been able to use so many concepts to help my family open up more confidently over time. ❤
That means the world to me ♥️
I feel like Lydia shared all those things about Uche because she wanted to demonstrate that she REALLY knew him, and she wasn’t just a fling. Like she was in his car, meeting his friends all that lol. I think she knew he wasn’t a huge factor in his life but she accepted these small signs that, to her, she was.
I think you nailed it when he said that Lydia has an anxious attachment, which can come across as really desperate for affirmation from these guys. When she was getting really desperate with Milton, I was actually shocked that he gave her a chance. I think the harder you cling to someone, the more they pull away. So I was pretty shocked that he stayed with her.
This push - pull dynamic is very common you’re right, but generally when the other person is also insecurely attached but in an avoidant manner. The pulling from the anxious person triggers the push in the avoidant and repeat cycle. If the other person is securely attached and secure in themselves (which I think Milton feels like he is), they can provide the stability / security that the anxious person needs to balance. Apologies if you know this but saw your comment and thought it would be a helpful addition
Great breakdown, as usual. Makes me want to take notes for the next season
Love your videos, cannot wait for the uchee video.
Love your videos sis! Wound be amazing if you did the ultimatum too. I would love to hear your perspective.
I find the bit where uche and lidya meet very odd
Uche says: "is this a sign?"
What did he mean by that? Because as soon as lydia agreed and said they should try dating - he took back control of the narrative and shot her down
Theres some debate about Uche having a narcissistic personality - can you touch on that Anya? - why it might or might not be so
Loving all these videos - find it very helpful to reflect on this content!
you're amazing! Cheers from Brazil!
This is great! what kind of camera do you use for filming? I love the focus on you and soft focus on the background
Thank you!!We use a canon 5d! I think there’s a link in the description box.
I really liked Lydia, I think people like to take their opinions a little too far but at the same time I can see why she's annoying. I feel like she's so smart but when it comes to love and relationships she's clueless and has no awareness on how she's perceived and it's annoying because she's clearly intelligent and confident so it's like girl you got this, keep it together!
Yeah people knowing each other before the experiment made me think of Bao and Johnny from MAFS, too.
Good night beautiful , I enjoy all your chitchat and knowledge you share , I have gain a lot
So glad!
I don’t see any other reason why Lydia sharing everything she knew about Uche other than to ruin Aliyah’s chances with Uche or to stop pursuing him.
Agreed
Bingo
That delayed “yeah” comment after she said she wanted to feel him should have been a clue. I heard the rejection in that.
Amazing content ❤ love your vision and opinions 🤩
Thank you!
Lydia said "I knew him from his breathing." That alone, I would have broken ties with Uche. cause...what!?! Also, Lydia possesses the ability to hold back information cause when the producers had her keep quiet. MOUTH WAS SHUT. Then she just wouldn't shut up once she was allowed to talk. But then watching her get so attached and get rejected multiple times on the show made me feel bad for her. She needed so much and I don't know if she ever got it. I don't believe that the producers didn't know this was gonna happen BEFORE the show began, I personally can't believe they didn't know these two dated each other.
I think Lydia shared so much to Aaliyah because maybe it was something she thought they could bond over 🤷🏽♀️ because Aaliyah said they were close in the pods so maybe Lydia thought “well me and my friend both have/had problems with the same guy so maybe this is a opportunity to help her and I can be the best friend that she needs right now” that’s one way I can see it
We need to have a conversation about how folks like Lydia, who clearly lack emotional regulation skills, use The little bit of emotional intelligence they have to manipulate others. Lydia crossed numerous boundaries of different people in very emotionally violent ways, yet it seems to be excused over and over again. Disrespecting boundaries is not passion. Forcing relationships on people for your own agenda is not being empathetic. Not sure why you keep giving Lydia a pass while critiquing smaller things that other people do. Why do we assume best intentions, when Lydia has showed us how manipulative she can be?
25:43 I think you’re right, from what they showed us, but there are a couple things that could have happened to make me change my mind, either they went in knowing and playing their part either how they were told or how they had planned OR they didn’t show us the full scene so we are missing some context for exactly how it went down.
Off topic but what lip are you using? It’s gorgeous!
Love your videos
I feel like Uche felt like Lydia messed up his relationship with Aliyah so he then wanted to put Lydia in a bad light to Milton and ruin her relationship.
I love your videos and your perspective on these relationships!! I agree with so much of what you say.
I can see what you mean by the Instagram stories, the way I saw it was that even though those people’s stories are public, if you know you’re ex hangs around certain people, and then you specifically go watch their story so that you can see what they’re doing, it could show signs of someone who is obsessive over their ex.
I would love to know your opinion on this point of view!
Lydia would have definitely dated Uche if he agreed but perhaps her plan was to break his heart kind of how he did to her
I agree and noticed that too that in the flashback when Lydia and Uche first found out they were in the pods, Lydia seemed to be the one suggesting to start over and Uche was like no. And then later on Lydia said it was the other way around. Thanks for pointing that out! And in the reunion, I feel like the producers, Nick and Vanessa supported Lydia's version. About the "IG stalking", I have had that happen to me and it can be a bit uncomfortable when a woman that is connected on IG with a guy you're talking to is viewing your stories, almost keeping tabs on you. To me, it's not a major deal in which I would be incredibly scared but I can speak from experience that it feels uncomfortable. So based on that , I understand why these women went to Uche and asked him about it. But I think Uche made a bigger deal about it than it was. He could have confronted Lydia about it nicely when it was happening...unless there was a reason why he was hesitant to do so.
I don't know why more people seem to forget the clip of Day 1, where Lydia & Uche met in the pods & Lydia asked for another chance w/ Uche. & he shot her down! That right there was a huge missing piece in all of what people are saying. That defines how Lydia acted towards Aaliyah. Aaliyah really got played by both Lydia & Uche, but more so Lydia.
I’m anxious attachment and my husband is avoidant 😅
I agree with all your insights here. It definitely seemed like Lydia was interested in trying again when she and Uche first reconnected in the pods, and he shut it down. And they both mistreated Aliyah. I like Lydia, and I like her relationship with Milton, but she was wrong for spilling her guts to Aliyah in the pods like that. Lydia generally seems to be good at reading people's emotions, and Aliyah's discomfort was all over her face, but Lydia totally ignored it and babbled on and on about Uche. That made me very uncomfortable.
Will you still be making video about family therapy in general?
Good video! I don't think that Lydia is a bad person either. As of a matter of fact I think that when she spilled information about Uche to Aaliyah she could've thought she was looking out for Aaliyah by giving her some heads up about Uche, like that she's chosen a good man and added a bonus like he's got a nice house and a cute dog. I do think she said all that with good intentions and yes she is still bad at following boundaries.
TO ME ALSO it looked like Lydia wanted to continue to date Uche in the pods.
24:00 I think Lydia is probably one of those people who aren't so good at keeping secrets, being such an open and talkative person, and so once she was allowed to speak about Uche and about knowing him, the dam had broken and she couldn't help disclosing absolutely every bit of information she had about him, whether or not it was relevant, nor was she in a state of mind where she could even register how it affected Aaliyah*. I don't think it was malicious or intentional, but it's definitely something she could work on.
Then again, being in the pods, it's not like she could release all that pent-up restless dump of information she was holding back by texting a friend or something. To me it just seems like she didn't have any coping skills available to her and doesn't have enough of a handle on her impulses to hold back and be more thoughtful in that moment.
As a latina, when Lydia was looking for Milton she just want to get out in that moment and was feeling that urgent. She just want "her men" "su marido" and run away. That's just the way we usually look for our significant other in times of need
Lydia evidently had an attachment to Uche because they had literally just slept together a few months ago. A lot of people form an attachment through sexual intimacy and if he had been super nice to her during a difficult time, then of course she was going to form an attachment bond with him.
Also as someone with ADHD, I can see similar traits in Lydia. Someone with ADHD has higher empathy levels then a neurotypical person. We also tend to have RSD, rejection sensitivity disorder which is a disorder whereby we react a lot more emotionally when we are rejected by someone.
Nobody is necessarily a villain. Mental health is a lot more complex than that. I beleive Uche definitely has narcissistic tendencies with how he reacted to towards the women at that party. And the fact he cheated and then brought up she was a stalker. People with NPD tend to focus on tbe reaction rather than focus on the actions that caused a person to react that way.
I honestly believe she would have told Milton about uche from day one
Day one she wanted Izzy. She bent the block and came back to Milton. She also framed it where her and Uche decided together that they would not try to date each other but others. When the video shows it was Uche who shut her down.
Her actions don’t line up with pure intentions
I totally agree with the fact that there was no victim ‼️I love Milton and Lydia.......Lydia wanted love ....like everybody there but Izzy he wanted to come up with somebody else money........
23:54 I think she commented bc she was excited for her friend, her voice sounded more like excited than trying to do something else u know?! Well I don't agree with it but I also didn't feel like she was trying to make her friend feel bad. What do u guys think?
Someone just please please explain JP to me…I feel like something is missing because he just doesn’t make sense!
Does anyone know how to achieve this wonderful hair style?
Which one?
34:08 I think that since he lost his relationships with his almost fiancee, he wanted same result for Lidia.
7:17 !! Good advice
i feel like lydia did everything good except the word vomit. She should not have crossed boundaries with that with multiple people. As someone who has issues with word vomit, I can relate to her but also, I come from a childhood where I was either not allowed to share things or I was constantly forced to share personal things I didn't want to. Moreso, I just think that's something she has to work on herself with because she doesn't have the right boundaries with that. I wasn't taught that either and my mom has issues with that too and I have had people criticize me like how she is being criticized but it was purely ignorant. I also realized Lydia befriended alliyah before she got involved with the dude. If I was in her situation, because I love easily, I would purposefully try to comfort her because I know him and how he's like. Not in a "I want information on him" way. But I know that's how it seems and looks like. I think it's all a huge misunderstanding and I realize most people aren't as malicious or strategic as other people accuse them to be.
Otherwise, I think she was mostly ignorant and dealing with her emotions of guilt and shame for keeping the truth (but it was pushed on her from the producers). As someone who has similar clairvoyant instincts as her, she explicitely said that she had a feeling she was going to meet someone. I have feelings like that too very often and I know people who don't have it will never understand. I've also talked to my friends and partner about clairvoyant feelings and they never have that. But if I have a feeling something is going to happen a particular day, it usually does. It's a clairvoyance thing and she clearly explained it in the show but i think a lot of people don't have those experiences so they think it must be that she knew he was going to be there. I'm pretty sure she was telling the truth and it can be shown in her body language too that she was not lying most of the time.
Mannn you hit on the HEAD!
Not defending what he does but my opinion is that he felt like he was wrong or robbed from getting into whatever it could be explored with Aaliyah whether that was relationship engagement marriage he felt like he was robbed of that very similar to how Aaliyah felt. I think the reason why he went to the barbecue Was to confront Lydia on that, and in someway be petty and get some type of payback me personally I think Lydia absolutely sabotage Aaliyah‘s chances. I cannot see it any other way that was delivered. I watch this 1000 times I’ve listen to different perspectives. Lydia did what she did on purpose to that effect or I can understand why he went to the barbecue to try to get his pound of flesh as it were, and get some revenge because from his point of you, he’ll be damned if he loses out on his opportunity to get into a relationship or marriage, but Lydia doesn’t, especially when he feels that he was wrong by Lydia as well.
This. People giving Lydia the benefit of the doubt with the atrocious scene where she bulldozers Aliyah and marks her territory in regards to Uche need to take a second look. Lydia was very clearly sabotaging A&U and taking away both their autonomy on progressing with getting to know each other. That was her dropping a bomb in the most destructive way possible; and it worked. She’s manipulative so disguised it as clumsiness verbally - which I’ve seen her do a few times. She plays the passionate; romantic innocent but I truly spot a snake.
when I first watched it, I thought Lydia, was being vindictive when she was sharing all that information with the aalyiah but watching it back with you and hearing your commentary and also trying to understand Lydia better I think she was doing what most girls would do for their friends, which is tell them everything they know about somebody before they let their friend get involved. When I first watched it, I thought she was bragging and being vindictive, but I put myself in her shoes and it just felt like a friend telling another friend hey, this is all I know about this person I’m gonna tell you this whole side of our story so that there’s nothing I could ever catch you off guard because if I want to preserve our friendship, then you need to know everything so that we don’t have secrets anymore.
I still think she was doing too much because Aaliyah told Lydia to stop talking about Uche 3 times. And she refused to listen!
@@talitam.8414 oh, really? I missed that part… Well, that changes things.😅
@j4m3s1 Aaliyah explained that during an interview. She left because of a big fight with Lydia after she started talking about Uche AGAIN. That was the last straw for her.
I think Lydia's intention telling her all those things was not ill-willed. The only reason I think this is because to me Lydia comes off as someone who thinks so emotionally and is so open she just thought she was sharing her experience and maybe needed to vent about it to someone. Now was it right on her to do that to Aaliyah, definitely not. She didn't read that situation correctly at all. Or she just ignored the discomfort in order to make herself feel better about her past. Idk.
Either way, Aaliyah needed to run from Uche, he did not seem ready for marriage to me.
Lydia just seems like the average woman who has been through tons of mess in today’s current dating world from what I can tell. Some of that experience, especially by her age, can’t help but spillover into how she interacts with future people, even new friends. But I also think anyone that falls for any of Uche’s games, as we also get to literally watch his dishonesty with all these other people in the pods, is just being intentionally slow lol. I’m not saying Uche is a villain but he is definitely not a healthy partner for any woman at this time, and he needs to work on that a lot. So it makes sense to me that Lydia was pissed at him, especially since all his mistreatment of her when they dated was so recent! I think most people would struggle to not let that sore spot show, and would hate to find out they’re in this whole experience with an ex.
Regardless, I’m actually surprised that Lydia was able to make a real connection and get married after all of that drama! At first I didn’t think she and Milton were a good match, especially because of the geology thing lol! To me, career matching stuff is superficial, and I wouldn’t care one bit if a guy I’m dating is in or out of my career field at all. But then I could see how important it is to Milton, and that he valued that deeper understanding of his work and the geology connection between he and Lydia so I knew they had a chance. Overall it’s nice that they actually worked out, and I love seeing a couple be happy and actually make it!
On one hand Uche is suffering from crazy stalking ex, that follows him around and on another hand he wasn't able to recognize her very distinct 'Ushe' pronunciation? Something is not adding up
He’s crying because he know she’s obsessed with him and like she gonna ruin it
I think Lydia exposed the information about Uche’s lifestyle as a way to not bash him and boast about him a little. Including the fact that she’s known him longer, she can be a base of more info about him, and to help guide Aaliyah if she needed it. She was excited she was able to reveal this info finally and spilled to her closest friend in the pod. It wasn’t right but since she is curious she’d think Aaliyah would wanna know it like she would have
A full stop for me is her following her ex on the show and linking with his #1. That isn’t normal nor right.
Tbh, I thought Uche was a jerk but I thought Lydia was a complete nut.
I think he was crying because he thought he was hurting Aliyah when he was telling her the truth
You should break down Uche. He seemed mature but he got ice cold super fast. Like there was no room for movement, once he flipped that switch he was a different person to you. Those kinds of people scare me, lol.
No one is saying this but I swear Lydia has dark eyes. I can see it every time she’s on screen & if you watch her at the reunion, you can see it so clearly. Especially when aaliyah was talking at the reunion, it looked like Lydia wanted to unalive her 😭🫣
she does omg!!
Who knows. Wish them the best. Hopefully they know before the kids arrive. Good thing she was not with Izzy or Oche. How could Oche not recognize Liddy’s voice. He was pretending that he didn’t remember who she was. I thought she followed him onto the show but then after hearing he wanted to know everything about her on the show. I now think he followed her onto the show
I get bad vibes from her. Watching her moves in this show thru the reunion shows sinister at times and untruth worthy at others. I think she gives an ok first impression but quickly seems like too much. It’s like she tries too hard and is desperate. Perhaps focusing too hard to be liked and included. IMO, all her interactions with Aaliyah were wrong and suspect. How do you tell a “good friend” every detail about U when the show you are both on is called LOVE IS BLIND. The concept is you find out thru convo and time what the person is about. If, after production gave the ok she wanted to warn Aaliyah about something’s about Uche. That’s fair but the other details - no ma’am. Didn’t stop when asked. That’s shady. Then she cursed at Aaliyah. More shade. Then at the reunion said she didn’t read the room rather than addressing Aaliyah directly. More shade. I thought she said she loved her???
Also I think when Lydia pulled Milton away during the party she was afraid Uche would spill more tea on her. She looked so sacred when Milton was speaking to her.
The social media stuff was weird as hell. We all know if anyone said something to Uche, it was probs like one person. I highly highly doubt that multiple people randomly decided that it was weird this girl was looking at their public stories 🙄
I disagree with most of the video but that’s the beauty of opinions! We all don’t have to agree but I do understand how you landed where you landed
I appreciate that!
In the pods I believe that her ultimate goal was to get married, and after her first two rejections with Izzy and Uche it didn't matter who it was. She emphasized a lot on wanting to find someone who's willing to love her, as opposed to focusing on finding someone she can connect on multiple levels with and get married to. Unlike previous cast members with this goal, her friendly personality and anxious attachment style meant that she appeared more genuine in her relationship with Milton (rebound or not) and that she wasn't on the show just for clout.
It might just be the way things were edited or my bad recollection of the pod dates, but Lydia didn't focus as much on Milton's qualities that she's grown to love. It came off as "I love that you love me and you're willing to be with me". She does tend to steer some conversations to focus on her which I really disliked (ex: Milton talking about his medical issues, her weird comments when Aaliyah was berated for her past).
Also, both Uche and Lydia initially having nice things to say about each other and then having a 180 on those opinions was so weird. They're both guilty of being suspicious in that sense.
I also found it super jarring how much she talked about herself as opposed to her partner or their connection. It was all about "I want to be loved for me," "my favorite thing about marriage is he has my back," etc. Watching the season, I was SURE this would come up in Steph's breakdown... I also thought she was extremely aware of how she was going to be perceived by viewers. When she was talking to his family, a lot of her answers were very generic and were meant to sound deep but were ultimately pretty meaningless, which they picked up on. And there was a lot of effort put into making herself look sympathetic. She really wanted to be the fan favorite everyone was rooting for. Overall she just came off as very fake and self-centered to me.
EXACTLY I 100% agree with you especially on the "Lydia didn't focus as much on Milton's qualities that she's grown to love. It came off as "I love that you love me and you're willing to be with me". She does tend to steer some conversations to focus on her which I really disliked."
EXACTLY I’m so glad I’m not the only one who picked up on this quite literally her vows started with “I fell in love with you because you chose me” which is SO TELLING, I couldn’t believe it
@@MustardDad That sums it up pefectly 👌
Agree 100% my thoughts exactly
Yessssssss when she kept saying she’s just like her…. She rubbed me the wrong way. Like something was off. I could tell she knew more than she gave off and it turned out to be true… sketchy.
I had the same instinct!
Right! It’s also so manipulative. Because if you are like me, then whatever I tell you to do is the right choice. So easy to manipulate a person once you convince them ur the “same”!
I remember watching the "Look at me" scene and wondering why Lydia was making Aaliyah's pain about herself. It felt so wrong. Then we saw the flashback to Lydia's moment with Uche and suddenly it all.made sense.
yesss
Yes, it was very much violating any boundaries.
At first I thought maybe she was trying to be a mother figure and thought she was genuinely helping but it was still SO uncomfy
But now it makes sense especially when she freely started talking about the dude after it all came out. Totally crossed a line
Lydia was doing too much imo, she can be overbearing and lacks boundaries. Izzy explained that it was only on day 2 or 3 that he broke up with her. He said it was too early for the both of them to settle after only a couple days and that he needed to explore other options. She reacted like he had asked for a divorce…like, he was literally a stranger to her at that point. Aaliyah asked to stop telling her about Uche 3 times! The 3rd time it caused a huge argument between them, which led to Aaliyah’s departure from the show.
I learn so much from you, and it literally helps me in my life and with my relationships with others. It's always a treat when I see that you have a new upload. Thank you for all the wisdom and insight you freely share with us!
That makes me happy 😊 Thank you so much for watching!
There was so much drama with Uche I 100000% forgot she fancied Izzy at one point
lol! So did I
it did feel very icky to see her violating Aliya's boundaries and then also crying at the reunion- I feel like both Uche and Lydia did Aliya dirty and I was really glad she got out of the weirdness. I think even though she is emotional, Lydia lacks empathy for Aliya bc she still was being territorial of her ex, and can be very controlling.
The directors kept prompting Lydia to keep talking. Idk if you have seen Aaliyahs interview
@@snailmailmagic1133 You keep commenting this as if it excuses Lydia's behavior.
It doesn't.
Both Lydia and Uche went to producers and made their own decisions about how they wanted to proceed in the pods regarding their relationship at a certain point.
Lydia is a grown damn woman. If Lydia had been a decent person, she would have done as she had in other situations and said 'No' to the producers.
Production guides participants. Participants DON'T have to comply. Lydia chose to do this and it shows everything we already knew about her lack of character.
I am so happy for this review. I thought I was going crazy watching the other reviews with very black or white thinking and wanting an ultimate villaiin. I think as a therapist, you hold room for the complexity of human beings.
Lydia scares the sh*t out of me. I don’t think the show edit even scratched the surface.
Ditto
I just want to say I love that you're making these videos. As a counseling student it's really nice to see a professional's perspective on the this season. I don't think I will watch Love is Blind again or the Ultimatum or shows like it, but I would watch your videos.
I’m so glad that you’re finding them helpful on your journey to counseling!
Why won’t you watch love is blind again?
In an interview with Jessie Woo, Aaliyah revealed that production was prompting Lydia to keep talking about Uche. She also revealed that the scene where Lydia is talking about Uche was not all in one sitting.
That would be weird for production to encourage her to talk about Uche when it was supposed to be a secret that they knew each other and she had been doing that from the beginning. Not a Lydia hater at all. That just seems weird.
@@samanthas8340 They prompted her to keep talking about Uche after the secret was revealed. They basically instigated the situations where Lydia wouldn’t stop talking about Uche. Sorry for the confusion!
Which makes sense and is a relief to know. Lol. People aren’t recognizing just how culpable production is in this mess. In my opinion the true villain in that entire drama is production. They were awful to Aaliyah. They are to blame for why her experience there was, while allowing for some personal development, was not a good one.
No one who wasn’t there and who isn’t in these peoples’ shoes can imagine the amount of stress and pressure they are dealing with. None of us have any idea how hard it would actually be to hold in so much information, so much emotional baggage, and so many FEELINGS that would be going all up and down and around all day everyday while you’re there, without any real time and space to process. Who could be in that situation and act the way they would act normally at all. Lydia’s behavior does get more explained in the reunion.
God bless 🦋
@@birdi3beez seems like the love is blind production crew gets skeezier and skeezier as the seasons go on, purposefully putting the couples in high-stress situations and bringing back people they know are only going to stir up further drama
LYDIA 100% wanted to continue a relationship in the pods. She was honestly just desperate for love and would have married anyone.
Which is sad
I totally agree. Lydia was coming off so desperate.