Holy Matrimonies | Our America with Lisa Ling | Full Episode | OWN

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024
  • For most Americans, first comes love, and then comes marriage. But for some, it's the opposite. Is arranged marriage archaic and loveless, or is it a rational approach to life-long commitment? We explore this ancient approach to love in modern America. (Original Air Date: July 17, 2012) Watch more of Our America with Lisa Ling on the WatchOWN app. For more information visit www.oprah.com/...
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    Holy Matrimonies | Our America with Lisa Ling | Full Episode | OWN
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 465

  • @vwilliams2796
    @vwilliams2796 7 місяців тому +234

    Marriage is hard work regardless of how two people come together. Best wishes to all couples.

  • @cynthiariley-om4ve
    @cynthiariley-om4ve 6 місяців тому +169

    I love watching Lisa Ling... She just puts it out there, good or bad with food for thought from various perspectives..

    • @tikatikatikatika3066
      @tikatikatikatika3066 6 місяців тому +8

      Me too..!! When I see her I know it’s gonna be something deep and real

  • @blue8710
    @blue8710 7 місяців тому +292

    The conclusion of the documentary: 'divorce is discouraged '. It's not that these relationships last longer it's just that divorce is not part of the equation in case they don't work.

    • @rabiariaz2112
      @rabiariaz2112 6 місяців тому +5

      So what's so wrong with that?

    • @blue8710
      @blue8710 6 місяців тому +34

      @@rabiariaz2112 Well, if the husband is abusive and you can't get divorced you have a huge problem. You can't allow abuse only to stay married.

    • @rabiariaz2112
      @rabiariaz2112 6 місяців тому +7

      @@blue8710 Abusive marriages are very infrequent. They are not the basis to judge arranged marriages. In a vast majority of marriages both partners are satisfied with eachother. The relationship is not based on flimsy changeable things such as emotions. They are built on common values, familial and financial compatibility, religion etc. These values make marriage more sustainable. And in case hot emotions are threatening to end marriages then the pressure not to divorce comes in really handy. People can't just break off and destroy lives of their children, create trauma just because they are not in love with their spouse or because they are angry

    • @AandM8
      @AandM8 6 місяців тому

      @@rabiariaz2112 On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.-CDC
      Infrequent, huh?
      The fact that you think people should stay in loveless marriages/partnerships to benefit their kids is crazy. My husbands parents did that and it ultimately wrecked their marriage, their relationship with their kids, and continues to harm their children to this day because they stayed in a toxic and abusive marriage for way too long.
      You are either some how a victim of abuse and are in complete denial (likely because of religious beliefs), or you are truly ignorant of abuse, or you’re an abuser yourself who is looking for validation. Could be a mix of all 3. Who knows. But thank GOD you don’t have the power to keep women trapped with men like you. (I’m assuming you’re a man because women don’t usually support women staying with abusers).

    • @MNP208
      @MNP208 6 місяців тому

      @@rabiariaz2112 Many hasidic Jewish women endure physical and emotional abuse. If they try to leave, they are hounded by the Jewish community.

  • @pinkyshoes22
    @pinkyshoes22 6 місяців тому +256

    I would never be able to move into my husband’s family house with his brother, his parents and his grandmother. What a difficult way to start a new life together

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +14

      That practice is common in Asia, Middle East, and many parts in Africa.

    • @MNP208
      @MNP208 6 місяців тому

      Exactly!!

    • @Valley_Girl
      @Valley_Girl 6 місяців тому +11

      They don't see it as difficult. They see it as a joyful way of adding a new family member.

    • @ohmeowzer1
      @ohmeowzer1 6 місяців тому +16

      Agree I would cry too just like Nadia ..scary ..hope they don’t abuse her

    • @al6347
      @al6347 6 місяців тому +8

      Try living with your mother in law. She made life terrible.

  • @kiwidreams3
    @kiwidreams3 7 місяців тому +452

    The marriages last as the wife is too afraid to leave, because to leave her husband would mean to disgrace her family. Are these people truly happy

    • @warrenas79
      @warrenas79 7 місяців тому +35

      Ofc they're not truly happy. Happiness is for sinners & the afterlife

    • @oliviagraham9798
      @oliviagraham9798 7 місяців тому +27

      A marriage cannot be purely based on emotions. People change... sometimes it's based on principal and fighting for the union whether for spiritual reasons or to combat our world's desire to destroy the practice.

    • @deeevans1389
      @deeevans1389 7 місяців тому +2

      Different starting grounds abut happy endings

    • @devonmcdonald8566
      @devonmcdonald8566 7 місяців тому +27

      My husband and I married after meeting twice. We are celebrating 9 years TODAY! He is a perfect match for me. I have never felt more loved and safe and respected. Skipping dating really deepened our relationship. The commitment was real and was made in earnest.

    • @NiniEJ
      @NiniEJ 7 місяців тому +9

      I had the same observation, especially when it came to Audra and John.

  • @TaylorLee
    @TaylorLee 7 місяців тому +123

    Akhbar was very sweet. He knows that his family will never replace Nadia’s, but he will always try to be there for her when she’s misses them ❤

    • @jarkachalmovianska7812
      @jarkachalmovianska7812 7 місяців тому +4

      Naive. Love will grow, love will grow...

    • @davisholman8149
      @davisholman8149 6 місяців тому +11

      He needs to provide a good income - so either she can go visit her parents or they can fly the parents out to visit.

    • @Laura-ss5ws
      @Laura-ss5ws 5 місяців тому +5

      He seems like a really nice guy....she was a stunning bride

  • @rubychew6535
    @rubychew6535 7 місяців тому +160

    Sometimes parents can make a mistake in choosing.

    • @teresamarie7460
      @teresamarie7460 7 місяців тому +24

      Of course parents can make a mistake because they don't even know themselves. AND most parents don't spend enough time with their children to learn about them.

    • @virginiaboone8163
      @virginiaboone8163 7 місяців тому +7

      The parents in the film did not make a mistake. The parents in the film seemed very devoted to their children and it was obvious that they knew their sons and daughters extremely well. These were very close-knit families.

    • @AandM8
      @AandM8 6 місяців тому +9

      Hmmm…maybe parents shouldn’t be choosing for their children.

    • @Itsthetruth360
      @Itsthetruth360 5 місяців тому +4

      Yeah, if your parents are not balanced....please don't let them make decisions for your adulthood (lifelong).😒😒

  • @NiniEJ
    @NiniEJ 7 місяців тому +158

    The way that the dating scene is these days, I don’t have much negative to say about this. I just hope these women are truly happy and that they get to keep a sense of self, individuality and personality. I don’t believe in losing who you are, even in a marriage.

    • @SimbaRobyn
      @SimbaRobyn 7 місяців тому +19

      How can you be truthfully happy with a virtual stranger with absolutely no say. And individualism is out the door.

    • @shellz831
      @shellz831 7 місяців тому

      You sound like a complete FOOL. Even with evidence clear as day, you still comment "I hope they are happy". Use your brain. They are PROPERTY. Marriage is the enslavement of women.

    • @CourtneyGonzales-r1n
      @CourtneyGonzales-r1n 7 місяців тому +19

      Dating these days is scary and seems to be a waste of time for the most part. I’m sure that they learn to love one another and their marriages are not driven by our hyper sexual culture

    • @jarkachalmovianska7812
      @jarkachalmovianska7812 7 місяців тому +8

      ​@@CourtneyGonzales-r1n you dont learn to love somebody who is not a match for you... you learn to live next to them. Shut yourswlf out, dim your light and your true sense.

    • @everynewdayisablessing8509
      @everynewdayisablessing8509 7 місяців тому +12

      These weren't forced marriages, their parents just helped them to find the person to marry. The girls didn't have to say yes@@SimbaRobyn

  • @alisonclarke3738
    @alisonclarke3738 6 місяців тому +28

    As a devout member of my religious denomination, I understand that my lifestyle is a lot different from folks of other religious backgrounds. It's nice to see people from other walks of life and how they go about finding a life partner. Even though our beliefs are different, we share the common goal of healthy and prosperous marriages. I wish those couples well.

  • @LareArruda
    @LareArruda 5 місяців тому +8

    The dad crying 'cause he will be away from his daughter forever made me emotional!! So interesting meeting these wedding cultures! Wishing the best for them.

  • @eileenwatt8283
    @eileenwatt8283 7 місяців тому +97

    Blessed be the man or woman who never wanted this because they are complete already as single and thriving

    • @trishag.971
      @trishag.971 3 місяці тому

      I love how this was written

    • @jgator6694
      @jgator6694 2 місяці тому

      Amen to that! Single life is great!!

  • @user-marshalcp
    @user-marshalcp 7 місяців тому +62

    I love this documentary about arranged marriages from three different couples, three different religions and three different cultures and I hope all the marriages work out.

  • @dancinggrace22MSU
    @dancinggrace22MSU 7 місяців тому +75

    Audra's husband saying it was difficult to sympathized after her miscarriage makes me think he blamed her for it. I bet he was cruel to her when she was grieving.

    • @afriend621
      @afriend621 6 місяців тому +3

      With compassion is a kind way to see him, his words and reactions.

    • @meman6964
      @meman6964 5 місяців тому +5

      My husband didn't know how to help after lare miscarriage, all the emotions overwhelmed him. He bought me a TV and went back to grad school.
      35 Years later he's diagnosed with Asperger's. He did what he was able, but still doesn't understand the grief

    • @afriend621
      @afriend621 5 місяців тому

      @@meman6964 My heart goes out to both of you. I think we can never really understand each other as we cannot know how the other is feeling or thinking. And, like you say, we often do not know what to do with our own strong feelings or how to stop and feel them all the way. And Asperger's probably feels like a completely different world altogether.

  • @EvelinHolmes
    @EvelinHolmes 7 місяців тому +36

    I am not a religious person and I could never deal with there way of live .
    Been married for 55 years to the same man.

    • @MNP208
      @MNP208 6 місяців тому +6

      I am a recovering Catholic and still married. 40 years!

    • @annsaunders5768
      @annsaunders5768 6 місяців тому

      ​@@MNP208born and raised Catholic and truly happy discovering the faith, layer by layer, coming to put Christ before myself. Married for a few months short of fifty years to a non Catholic who died to young. Read "Rome Sweet Home" by Scott and Kimberly Hahn, the Eucharist is Christ Himself, no where else can we fully commune with Him! Few achieve that in this life, impossible to do without Him. Praying for you 🙏

  • @janeenharrison1953
    @janeenharrison1953 6 місяців тому +20

    I envy the simplicity and commitment of their process. As a person of divorced parents, it's one of the most heart ripping experience to go through leaving everyone traumatized and damaged.

    • @davisholman8149
      @davisholman8149 6 місяців тому +3

      So true. Getting divorced was the biggest failure of my life. I feel like no matter how hard I tried - I still caused my kids to be from a broken home.

    • @kymross6405
      @kymross6405 6 місяців тому +1

      Simplicity?

    • @Slamm1983
      @Slamm1983 4 місяці тому

      Same..I am twice divorced and only 41 I have 4 kids and I am now a struggling single mom..My parents were married for 27yrs and then divorced when I was 25yrs old and even though I was married with 2 kids it still hurt..​@@davisholman8149

  • @gkhwpgmom
    @gkhwpgmom 7 місяців тому +232

    This was first broadcast several years ago--would love an update in the couples.

    • @lr7747
      @lr7747 7 місяців тому +6

      I believe Nadia is in another match making show on Netflix????

    • @gkhwpgmom
      @gkhwpgmom 7 місяців тому +20

      I actually found her online. She is indeed a makeup artist for Diem Angie in Chicago. Good for her.

    • @Spasiuka
      @Spasiuka 6 місяців тому +1

      ​@@gkhwpgmomIS Nadia still married?

    • @gkhwpgmom
      @gkhwpgmom 6 місяців тому +8

      @@Spasiuka Not sure. I only found that she is working in Chicago as a makeup artist. I don’t think she was on that match show on Netflix. It was a different Nadia.

    • @SL-qu3rx
      @SL-qu3rx 6 місяців тому +25

      I’ve known Chava since before her marriage. She is still happily married with several children

  • @eunicestone6532
    @eunicestone6532 7 місяців тому +25

    I knew a lady from Argentina that was married by proxy in New York while she was still in Argentina. It was an arranged marriage and when i met her she had already been married for 25 years. She said she was one if the lucky girls as hers turned to a love match.

  • @carter_1
    @carter_1 7 місяців тому +45

    Nadia is super lucky to have the in-laws that she has. You don't always end up with ones as loving, kind, inviting, even joyful to have you. I hope she realizes that

  • @aasiyapowell875
    @aasiyapowell875 6 місяців тому +16

    Good job, Lisa. Very respectful and coming from an open mind.

  • @jjkatz
    @jjkatz 6 місяців тому +25

    So glad I’m single and non religious 😊

  • @NanetteFishman
    @NanetteFishman 6 місяців тому +7

    The most important thing to remember is that we don’t know what we don’t know.
    These people are unable to find their own way so they rely upon their family members to help them.
    Let’s wish them all the best of everything in their lives.

  • @amyomeara2515
    @amyomeara2515 7 місяців тому +53

    I moved 1200 mi to live in my husbands house in 2016 and I cry seeing Nadia miss her parents and brother. I miss my parents and siblings so much 😢

    • @lilasfaves7846
      @lilasfaves7846 7 місяців тому +7

      So sorry to hear that ❤

    • @virginiamorales1591
      @virginiamorales1591 7 місяців тому +2

      Are you happy?

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +2

      ​@@virginiamorales1591 do you expect an honest response to that question?

    • @nycava0520
      @nycava0520 5 місяців тому +1

      Are you allowed to visit them or are you just allowed to live with your husband’s family?

  • @JR-lw3ms
    @JR-lw3ms 6 місяців тому +52

    Father giving his daughter a heart necklace is CREEPY! And as far as lower divorce rates in arranged marriages, I wonder how much of it is because of truly good matches, and how much has to do with familial/societal pressure to stay married, even in bad matches/marriages

    • @MannatAjmani
      @MannatAjmani 5 місяців тому +4

      Pressure to stay in bad marriages as the girls parents will not support her is she chooses to divorce and will ostracise het

    • @maylynbayani
      @maylynbayani 5 місяців тому +9

      The fact that you think a father who provided a gift to her daughter representing his care and protection as creepy is honestly sad.
      Also, you cannot judge a culture based on your western lenses. Firstly, personal gratification is a very western concept. In the East and in other cultures, it's a social and communal pact. Self-sacrifice is a virtue that is celebrated. I think the only difference is that most couples in these cultures always choose to stay. There is an understanding that they are part of the community. Their children is always prioritized over personal happiness. This does not mean they are not happy but maybe their metrics of contentment or how they value their life differs from yours.

    • @corrinnacorrinna5572
      @corrinnacorrinna5572 4 місяці тому +2

      My husband has bought our daughter heart necklaces since she was old enough to appreciate jewelry. She is almost 30 now & he still buys her a different heart necklace every Christmas to show his love for her.❤

    • @fjones5890
      @fjones5890 3 місяці тому +4

      Very creepy! Especially him saying he’d been waiting for her 1st kiss 🤢 cult behavior

  • @tvfan14
    @tvfan14 7 місяців тому +45

    I would agree that there is no love without commitment.

    • @virginiamorales1591
      @virginiamorales1591 7 місяців тому +3

      I totally agree with you. I was married twice and my commitment to my husband’s was true BUT, were they truly committed to our marriage? I don’t think so. My first husband was an alcoholic and came from a family that women were submissive. The second time that he laid his hands on me, I warned him that he had to stop drinking, because if he ever tried to touch me again it would be the last time he would see me. He didn’t stop drinking and I was living with the fear that he would slap me again. So I divorced him because I was no one’s punching bag. In my second marriage, in our tenth year together he started to change and I thought that it was me, but two years after that he told me that he didn’t love me the same way and that he wanted a divorce. I couldn’t believe that that was happening, because he never told me that he was in love with another woman. So, was he really committed? NO. It takes two to tango.

  • @آزیتاشادکام
    @آزیتاشادکام 7 місяців тому +43

    I have so much respect for u Lisa, your shows are so deep and different.
    I really appreciate your efforts.

  • @nora4981
    @nora4981 7 місяців тому +54

    As a Muslim Asian woman, I cracked up when I heard the words “Muslim speed dating” that’s conducted in a mosque! 😂 I love Americans in all their colors.

  • @Thedrisin155
    @Thedrisin155 7 місяців тому +25

    If this makes the women happy then I support them. A women’s life is so much more than marriage. Marriage should be an option not a requirement.

    • @virginiaboone8163
      @virginiaboone8163 7 місяців тому +2

      The one single, professional woman in the film had reached a point in her life where she would disagree with you.

    • @jarkachalmovianska7812
      @jarkachalmovianska7812 7 місяців тому +7

      ​@@virginiaboone8163 she misses love, not marriage.

  • @Emily-zx3lp
    @Emily-zx3lp 6 місяців тому +42

    The Pakistani/Indian couple actually seem like a very cute/silly couple :)

  • @benatiyah
    @benatiyah 7 місяців тому +32

    I dont full understand the culture but it seems strange to move in with the Husband's family. Nadia does not seem happy. Every time the inlaws say "we have a new daughter" all I hear is "we have a new servant"😢

    • @LAVirgo67
      @LAVirgo67 6 місяців тому +1

      This is how it was done in the bible. This is truly traditional marriage.

    • @MyChannel-rv3zk
      @MyChannel-rv3zk 5 місяців тому

      @@LAVirgo67 But not if she has to work everyday as a contemporary woman......

    • @maylynbayani
      @maylynbayani 5 місяців тому

      You can not judge a culture with Western lenses. We might not understand it but it seems an acceptable practice to them.

  • @margo3367
    @margo3367 7 місяців тому +48

    Whatever works, but why can’t the Indian Muslim couple find their own place? Super intimidating for the lady to move in with her husband’s entire family.

  • @blairariavanderkamp3405
    @blairariavanderkamp3405 4 місяці тому +10

    Living with in-laws is the worst idea possible especially for newlyweds.

  • @saritamartinez6437
    @saritamartinez6437 3 місяці тому +6

    There’s was something about the way marriage was described for the Judaism couple’s perspective. I found extremely profound and beautiful I believe there’s something there that has been lost today.

    • @elizabethwitt2621
      @elizabethwitt2621 3 місяці тому

      He'll honor her, but she will always walk behind him.

  • @KnowWhat
    @KnowWhat 7 місяців тому +185

    I’m sorry….maybe it’s just me but Audra looks like she’s trapped! Audra doesn’t seem happy. Her husband only talks about what she can do for him to make him happy

  • @ingridakerblom7577
    @ingridakerblom7577 7 місяців тому +95

    There's nothing holy for a man to have a proxy engagement with his daughter 🤢 it's SOOO crepy, it's really beyond words..

    • @Jujubean9795
      @Jujubean9795 7 місяців тому +3

      Meh, it’s only creepy if you look at it that way… As a mom, who knows and trusts my daughter’s father, I think it’s an honorable gesture.

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +2

      ​@@Jujubean9795 bet you are the type that will call your daughter a liar if she told you she was molested by a close relative or family member

    • @katherinecoffman5285
      @katherinecoffman5285 6 місяців тому +2

      @@Jujubean9795Agreed. I think it’s very sweet and shows he’s a father who cares about his daughters heart

    • @melindat.1259
      @melindat.1259 5 місяців тому +4

      I agree Ingrid. It's creepy. To the others, it's not love. It's ownership. Eff that!

    • @ingridakerblom7577
      @ingridakerblom7577 5 місяців тому +5

      @Jujubean9795 no it's about trying to control your daughter as long as possible. And if use that with fear trough religion.
      Not really accepting she is her own individual and not just a "prolonging" off the parent.
      If you really care about your children, you will love them flr who they are, nor what they do alone.
      You need to accept & understand that you can't control another person's body until marriage. Bcs that may never happen. She might not want it & that should be OK. Expecting that your daughters only part in life is to get married & have kids & obey at first dad & then their husband.
      So you literally do a ceremony where the dad takes ownership until HE let's it over to the husband. Her opinion dosent matter as much as dad's & that's SO wrong..
      Your daughter is capable of more than being a wife. And should grow up with the knowledge that bo matter what she wants to do in life, she has you left in it.
      Sorry but hour views are neglectful, EXTREMLEY sexist and outdated. Hiding behind religion as is not an legit excuse for anything..

  • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
    @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +6

    Poor Nadia!!! Henna kept it REAL, MUCH RESPECT.

  • @Belllilianx
    @Belllilianx 7 місяців тому +16

    What a beautiful practice for some. I love the relationship between faith and love.

  • @MNP208
    @MNP208 6 місяців тому +12

    This story made me sad. Most of these arranged marriages come from a very patriarchal culture. I'm all for an older couple CHOOSING an arranged marriage. I'm against an 18 - 30 year old girl/boy being married off before experiencing life. 😐 I feel for Hava. She is marrying someone 10 years older than her and won't have a choice about the number of children she wants. There is a high rate of domestic violence in her culture. Nadia's parents do NOT look happy together. Why should a young married couple be forced to live with their parents?? Audra's mother-in-law has the Duggar "keep sweet" voice.

    • @darlenepaul2918
      @darlenepaul2918 6 місяців тому

      Yeah too bad she isn't cursing and yelling and screaming instead..right? So much more pleasant 'eh?

  • @dianapatterson449
    @dianapatterson449 7 місяців тому +48

    The expectations for the wives would be too great for me to deal with. I'm married but not like this

    • @MNP208
      @MNP208 6 місяців тому +4

      Same. I would feel trapped and fall into a deep depression.

    • @Iris-gy2mi
      @Iris-gy2mi 6 місяців тому +3

      Yes, that last couple (the couple who had the miscarriage)…the husband creeped me out. He sounds like he’s living in the 50s. Disgusting!

  • @rosalindchu7588
    @rosalindchu7588 4 місяці тому +2

    Thank you, Lisa, love your programs, all of them. Used to watch on TV but now on UA-cam. Your stories are informative, educational and entertaining. I do expect many more of such to come…Best wishes to you.

  • @JessicaBurns-bx6cu
    @JessicaBurns-bx6cu 7 місяців тому +7

    I hope these people find happiness. I love being married and would not have it any other way.

  • @cheryl5994
    @cheryl5994 7 місяців тому +16

    WISHING YOU ALL CONTINUED L❤VE & HAPPINESS
    & FOR THOSE WHO ARE SEARCHING, YR TURN WILL COME. X

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 6 місяців тому +11

    I can see in Nadia's face it's " NOT OKAY."

  • @lestudio76
    @lestudio76 7 місяців тому +19

    A marriage lasts longer when the couple feels pressure from a family to stay together, not bc it’s fulfilling.

  • @yettismama6361
    @yettismama6361 6 місяців тому +25

    "we met at a homeschooling conference" you don't say....

  • @chandrasims9408
    @chandrasims9408 7 місяців тому +13

    Love this episode. Yes, God does match make. We dated for year but I told God to pick my mate. Now I’m no perfect person so God did great job for me. I allowed him bc my parents didn’t date but married in the faith as well. They celebrated 50 plus years.

  • @billydiaz7280
    @billydiaz7280 6 місяців тому +27

    Someone rescue Audra please

  • @drlynnhutchinson
    @drlynnhutchinson 5 місяців тому +2

    I’m happy that my husband and I found radiotherapy through the old fashioned way ATTRACTION and 25 years and going strong 💪

  • @raimeyewens7518
    @raimeyewens7518 7 місяців тому +21

    This reminds me of a tv show I watched called Arranged. Season one had a young Gypsy couple, Indian couple and a southern couple (I don’t think they were really arranged). From what I’ve heard they are all still married and have children.

    • @jesnarachirapura4763
      @jesnarachirapura4763 7 місяців тому +5

      that was a great show ❤

    • @jarkachalmovianska7812
      @jarkachalmovianska7812 7 місяців тому +1

      Well that does not say anything. They married and conceived kids during wedding night or later... and now they are trapped forever. Not willingly.

  • @luv4mybffl
    @luv4mybffl 7 місяців тому +59

    That speed dating event was cringe

  • @MyChannel-rv3zk
    @MyChannel-rv3zk 5 місяців тому +5

    John said the first night of intimacy was wonderful...Audra said it was challenging😒

  • @Canuckskigirl
    @Canuckskigirl 7 місяців тому +29

    I don’t understand if you immigrated to a country, yet often they marry their children to only their culture and despise the chance that their child might marry a “western” person? And often find someone from their county of origin for their child 🤔

    • @swallowedinthesea11
      @swallowedinthesea11 7 місяців тому +7

      My Korean stepmother was angry when my Air Force stepbrother announced he was getting married to a Japanese woman. They visited our house for the first time for a formal dinner and after they left my stepmother asked 10 year old me if I planned to marry a girl who wasn't Korean.
      27 years later she is still bitter even though she has a granddaughter who unfortunately has cerebral palsy.

    • @DG-wd5wi
      @DG-wd5wi 7 місяців тому +19

      Usually people migrate for economic opportunities they dont necessarily love or understand the culture of the place they are migrating to.

    • @TooBlessedBabyDoll
      @TooBlessedBabyDoll 7 місяців тому +2

      My husband and I dated very similar to the Christian couple. We had a similar “Christian Courtship” there was no intimacy before marriage. Being of the same faith/belief, we were both well spoken of by our pastor and Christian leaders who counseled us, our families were in agreement. We’ve been married 9yrs now. I loved this documentary. ❤

    • @nanakworld
      @nanakworld 7 місяців тому +6

      Immigrating to a country doesn’t mean you should leave your culture. I’m Ghanaian American. When I wanted to get married I married an African woman with similar culture/traditions. We are celebrating 10 years in November. At a 50% divorce rate, western values and marriage are on a collision course.

    • @qwenqwen1476
      @qwenqwen1476 7 місяців тому +1

      @@swallowedinthesea11maybe ask her if there was anything in her life that made her feel a certain way towards Japanese? Then tell her not all people from certain culture/country are the same.

  • @jarkachalmovianska7812
    @jarkachalmovianska7812 7 місяців тому +20

    Rushing relationships/marriage is a red flag.

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому

      Yap

    • @meman6964
      @meman6964 5 місяців тому

      We met July 1st, Aug 2st he told me we'd get married , Sept 1st, 1974 we did!!! Big 50th anniversary celebration coming soon. No parents, his mother didn't think I was good enough and my mom couldn't afford to travel .

  • @rosegarza4887
    @rosegarza4887 7 місяців тому +35

    Do you have an update on where these couples are now? Everyone be safe out there and I really did enjoy the documentary. Thank you again.❤❤

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 6 місяців тому +31

    Why can't John want to please AUDRA??? Not equal or fair.

    • @markgerrard-cw4pb
      @markgerrard-cw4pb Місяць тому

      Because Christian values.

    • @markgerrard-cw4pb
      @markgerrard-cw4pb Місяць тому

      That's what America can look forward to if they vote for the dumb Republicans

  • @fjones5890
    @fjones5890 3 місяці тому +2

    Nadia’s in laws are happy to have a daughter in the house, i.e. the mom finally gets a break. Those tears are for the life she knows is coming at her fast.

  • @ProfessorCupcakeTV
    @ProfessorCupcakeTV 7 місяців тому +11

    I think marital arrangement makes total sense; the idea of permanence with that person is overwhelming though.

  • @luciboras
    @luciboras 7 місяців тому +9

    Traditional values and modern individual freedoms is good. However, not one way is the perfect way. One million individuals, one millions ways. One tree, not one single leave is exact duplicate of the other leaves.

  • @judithryle2113
    @judithryle2113 7 місяців тому +28

    Why can’t they get their house alone together. Living with in laws not ideal situation

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +5

      Ikr especially the fact that the house issmall to accommodate three generations including newlyweds!! Wonder how they're together because of the thin walls - way houses are built in the USA 🇺🇸!!

  • @caspianblue4141
    @caspianblue4141 7 місяців тому +24

    None of these ladies appear to be truly happy. Two of them seemed devastatingly sad and miserable.

    • @nanakworld
      @nanakworld 7 місяців тому +5

      What is happiness? Marriage is service to each other and not a feeling. The reason why 50% have failed. Wanna be happy, don’t get married at all. Just date and play

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому

      ​@@nanakworld a lot of married men and women are out continuing to play and date online and offline with other people so not sure what your point is. Most are in arranged marriages too.

    • @kimberlytyler1560
      @kimberlytyler1560 6 місяців тому +2

      @@OpinionatedGlobalCitizenit’s not taken as seriously as it used to be. I think that’s sad and bad for society but you’re right. Lots of married people keep doing their own things on the side until the other person gets tired and leaves or sticks around bc it’s the status quo. Marriage is cool tho if you need tax breaks or more money in the military.

    • @darlenepaul2918
      @darlenepaul2918 6 місяців тому

      They all seem happy and fulfilled to me.Of course the ine young lady misses her family.

    • @eiwagarciabrito495
      @eiwagarciabrito495 6 місяців тому +1

      @@nanakworldyou don’t think God wants us to be in happy marriages?

  • @SarongGoddess
    @SarongGoddess 7 місяців тому +14

    I feel pity for people forced into an arranged marriage. The LONELIEST people I know call themselves "couples".

  • @EsaLena1
    @EsaLena1 7 місяців тому +17

    I'm guessing the Hasidic sect that Chava joined is Lubavitch (that's Crown Heights and I'm betting that grave is Schneerson's). The Lubavitch are by far more modern than most Hasidic groups...by a lot.

  • @joseannknight8820
    @joseannknight8820 6 місяців тому +13

    I married my husband due to a specific instruction from God. 17 years almost and we love each other soo much. What God puts together , He holds together. We just have to follow His leading each day!

  • @NicoleLiggett
    @NicoleLiggett 6 місяців тому +7

    In my opinion, just because you love something does not mean it is good for you.

  • @LaNikiOfficial
    @LaNikiOfficial 7 місяців тому +21

    Where are they all now? I imagine at least 2 of the couples split, and the others stayed together for the sake of pleasing their parents smh...

    • @ingridakerblom7577
      @ingridakerblom7577 7 місяців тому

      Imagine being gay in a community like that. I wonder how many who tries to hide it & still marry the wrong person, to please everyone else.

    • @tatjana5207
      @tatjana5207 5 місяців тому

      I wonder how many kids they have by now

  • @wowwubzzy
    @wowwubzzy 7 місяців тому +110

    Audra’s dad protecting her “heart” aka virginity is just yuckkk 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

    • @bonniebonbasa3257
      @bonniebonbasa3257 7 місяців тому +5

      Someday when you're older you'll understand that less is better.

    • @jarkachalmovianska7812
      @jarkachalmovianska7812 7 місяців тому +22

      ​@@bonniebonbasa3257freedom is better. You have to decide what you want. Not your ,daddy,.

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +5

      ​@@jarkachalmovianska7812 say it again

    • @ohmeowzer1
      @ohmeowzer1 6 місяців тому +3

      Yes it’s kinda cringey

    • @darlenepaul2918
      @darlenepaul2918 6 місяців тому

      Yeah it would've been so much better if instead she had 20 bodies to her credit before marrying...right?

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 6 місяців тому +18

    This is SOOO lije The Duggars!

    • @carolyndavison6095
      @carolyndavison6095 6 місяців тому

      The Duggar girls are all given a purity/promise ring from JB as a sign that they will remain pure until marriage. Heard this from several sources so it may be true. I find JB a very creepy man and would never trust him. Than God a few have escaped the control of their stents.

    • @carolyndavison6095
      @carolyndavison6095 6 місяців тому

      I meant parents. Sorry.

  • @zxy78267
    @zxy78267 6 місяців тому +8

    This sounds like a horrible idea to me, especially the couple that lives with his parents. There's no way I would do that. Also, what if the husband turns out to be abusive? There's already almost complete control over the wife by the husband, but in some cases, it could come from his parents as well. I think I'd rather stay single than get married by arrangement. I respect that they have different customs in their respective religions, but it's just not something I could do. I'm not comfortable with having someone controlling me, let alone husband and hus parents.

  • @daniellaslon1774
    @daniellaslon1774 Місяць тому

    I cannot imagine what Nadia went thru after her wedding - so many changes

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 6 місяців тому +12

    This PURITY thing implies the DAUGHTER doesn't have enough sense or maturity to choose a mate herself! Sad.

  • @jenniferreid7652
    @jenniferreid7652 7 місяців тому +25

    I'd love to know where all of these couples are now.

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +2

      Me too!!

    • @jjkatz
      @jjkatz 6 місяців тому +2

      Probably miserable

    • @SL-qu3rx
      @SL-qu3rx 6 місяців тому +3

      I’ve know Chava since before her marriage and she is still happily married with several children

  • @zeyadsabti5484
    @zeyadsabti5484 7 місяців тому +2

    Greetings wholeheartedly from Iraq. Thanks for this report

  • @barbarayork3675
    @barbarayork3675 6 місяців тому +18

    The TN Christians gave me some uncomfortable vibes. John seems creepy. Maybe that sounds judgemental but something there is off.

  • @dianapatterson449
    @dianapatterson449 7 місяців тому +74

    Audra seems like a slave. She has to put his needs before her own? Nah!!

    • @bevs9995
      @bevs9995 7 місяців тому +12

      its exactly that way for all of the marriages... just only with one couple was it stated outloud and not edited out...

    • @Cassie00111
      @Cassie00111 7 місяців тому +15

      he's on the computer surfing the web while she's nonstop cleaning.

    • @homeschoolingsisters538
      @homeschoolingsisters538 7 місяців тому +11

      That didn’t seem like an ordinary Christian marriage. Maybe they are IBLP. They seem to have some extra rules, not found in the Bible.

    • @Noname-cn4ly
      @Noname-cn4ly 5 місяців тому +2

      She does everything to make him happy…..WHAT does he do for her? 🤔🧐

    • @Noname-cn4ly
      @Noname-cn4ly 5 місяців тому

      ⁠@@homeschoolingsisters538what’s IBLP?

  • @GPKatai
    @GPKatai 5 місяців тому +3

    Hearing Audra say she found out she aas selfish and why was so sad to me..

  • @cw5451
    @cw5451 6 місяців тому +4

    I am a Christian, and I did not do well choosing a mate for myself. It’s often made me wonder if it would’ve been better for my parents to pick my mate.

  • @lalifromcali6439
    @lalifromcali6439 5 місяців тому +1

    I wish them the best. They are so sweet

  • @msjdb723
    @msjdb723 7 місяців тому +26

    I don't understand why they're going to live with his parents ???

    • @devonbrianspencerlewis
      @devonbrianspencerlewis 7 місяців тому +17

      It’s Indian culture. Wife moves in with husband and his family and gets up at 4 am to make chai tea and do all the chores around the house for the entire family. It’s insane and most of the women are miserable

    • @lilasfaves7846
      @lilasfaves7846 7 місяців тому +16

      Yes the wife is the servant of the husbands mother. Often severely abused too 😢

    • @msjdb723
      @msjdb723 7 місяців тому +5

      @@devonbrianspencerlewis Sick!

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +4

      ​@@devonbrianspencerlewis glad most of them are choosing to marry outside their culture

  • @patienceacheampong9542
    @patienceacheampong9542 6 місяців тому +6

    It's at least better than online dating.

  • @somewhereinthemidwest9827
    @somewhereinthemidwest9827 4 місяці тому +2

    The woman leaving her family to live with his is so different that I can’t imagine..

  • @Ozark_Bule
    @Ozark_Bule 6 місяців тому +8

    To each his own, but definitely not for me.

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 6 місяців тому +11

    There's no free will here.

  • @johnthorpe1349
    @johnthorpe1349 7 місяців тому +2

    I lov seeing 👀 how different religions do it there customs 😮❤MIGWECH from Toronto Canada 🇨🇦

  • @dyardsale5475
    @dyardsale5475 2 місяці тому

    great to watch all these people

  • @happinesscomesinwaves5534
    @happinesscomesinwaves5534 5 місяців тому +6

    This is about 12 years old. I wonder where these people are now.

  • @rosscotxla
    @rosscotxla 6 місяців тому +7

    I wish an African American couple had been featured too.

  • @lenawalker9073
    @lenawalker9073 6 місяців тому +7

    The only couple that both look happy are Hava and Mahal.

    • @markgerrard-cw4pb
      @markgerrard-cw4pb Місяць тому

      How can she be happy when she's forced to be a clone having to dress like every other woman in the cult

  • @MyChannel-rv3zk
    @MyChannel-rv3zk 5 місяців тому +2

    Audra was rapidly blinking her eyes when John spoke....a cry for help?

  • @helenstory9924
    @helenstory9924 7 місяців тому +21

    Less than a minute in and this is creepy AF

  • @nataliechazvemba4929
    @nataliechazvemba4929 6 місяців тому +2

    I can't imagine if one loses their faith...then what? You hope there's more to their relationship .

  • @IcedCPTSD
    @IcedCPTSD 7 місяців тому +30

    Hope he washed his hands after that 20 min alone time before cutting the bread.

  • @judithfungisani6658
    @judithfungisani6658 6 місяців тому +5

    I don’t know how I feel. But i know I don’t respond well to rules and regulations 😅 but i id love to marry some i love, a lover that loves me back

  • @abbyselouani364
    @abbyselouani364 5 місяців тому

    the dude painted the wall her favorite color. come on now im crying

  • @gailbarton3799
    @gailbarton3799 7 місяців тому +1

    Beautifully done!!!❤

  • @rebeccamock6308
    @rebeccamock6308 7 місяців тому +14

    Worked for my parents.

  • @gardenplots283
    @gardenplots283 4 місяці тому +2

    Why would you think someone who didn't pick their own spouse would know how to pick one for you? My mother is a lot of fun but a horrible judge of character. There is no way I would have turned to her to find me a mate.

  • @vwilliams2796
    @vwilliams2796 7 місяців тому +10

    Nadia's parents look unhappy and distant.

  • @tiamaria44
    @tiamaria44 7 місяців тому +9

    8 mins 😂 in front of all outside door. I cant...

    • @CooperDog-t6q
      @CooperDog-t6q 5 місяців тому

      🤣😂😅

    • @ThePearlist1
      @ThePearlist1 3 місяці тому

      This is EXACTLY what baffled me. 8 mins?? Geeeezzz

  • @lindajackson2382
    @lindajackson2382 6 місяців тому +8

    What's the purpose of obscuring the bride's face?

  • @griceltorres7701
    @griceltorres7701 7 місяців тому +26

    Nadia got lucky with her in laws

    • @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen
      @OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 6 місяців тому +5

      She married down so they're grateful to have her

    • @MyChannel-rv3zk
      @MyChannel-rv3zk 5 місяців тому +1

      @@OpinionatedGlobalCitizen 😂😂😂😂😂😂That's one way to do it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂