The care system failed me. What is it like for kids today?
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- Опубліковано 31 жов 2022
- Daniel Lavelle is a journalist who spent some of his teenage years in the care system.
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He is also somewhat of an anomaly. Statistics show one in four people who leave care in the UK end up homeless. They are also likely to end up in a prison. In a special Guardian video Lavelle reflects on his experiences, and meets others who've been through the system to find out what is going wrong for some of the country's most vulnerable children. He also talks to those who've made it out the other side 'damaged but not broken'. Video made with Guardian producers Maeve Shearlaw and Kyri Evangelou.
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#CareHomes #ChildCare #CareSystem #HousingInsecurity #Orphanages #Abuse #Poverty #UK
A society must be judged by how it treats its weakest and most vulnerable members.
well said .i totaly agree.
Well said.
Welcome to Tory Britain where children in the care system are treated like criminals and not looked after
Well many governments FAIL our children, mentally ill, Disabled and Elders..
All those unborn children agree
I have worked in care homes for 18 years. I have always done all I could to help everyone. I recognize a lot of what was said and have worked hard against it when I saw it. It's not easy doing this job . I get assaulted and abused all the time but I go home to normality. These damaged children don't have that luxury. We all need to do better these are all our children and deserve better.
Thanks for your caretaking. The way I read your comment, I got hung up on your use of the word "damaged". I think I can kind of tell what you meant. I like to think of people, particularly children and other vulnerable populations as hurt rather than damaged. It reminds me that the circumstances were beyond your control.
Thank you for doing all ypu could.
They could start with more staff, but that costs money the authorities would rather spend on vanity projects. Money is, in my opinion, stored energy, we can effect change by spending it in the right places.
I wish I was put in a care home when I was younger, it would have helped a lot
Let’s be honest vulnerable children have been let down by adults for decades and it’s going to take some good people to take down the evil forces behind it.
@StanNats Right, but the evil forces that created what’s become a global issue did so with that in mind. They’ve gained huge fortunes by oppressing our youth. Student loans that lead mostly to massive debt while low wages and no jobs is only one example. The youth protesting against climate crisis makes this demographic the enemy of corporate dominance in politics as well. 💔💔
My mother was raised in care while In Care she was sexually and physically abused. From the age of 3 to 7 she was in 11 foster homes and care homes. She was sadly told she was worthless as a child, she struggled in school because her education was ignored. These things effected my mother her whole life.
My mother had me at the age of 17. She was “lucky” because she meet my stepfather and got married by doing so she was to have a stable home so they didn’t but me in care.
We owe these children so much more.
This is the journalism we need
Yes much more normal people articles ,. No representation of the lower class by the lower class in the guardian they miss a big part of the demographic of the country
I worked in children’s homes for over twenty years, I only left in the last couple of years. Private children’s homes charge about £4000/£5000 per week per child, they are inspected by OFSTED, but all OFSTED are interested in is the paperwork and little else. I have been lucky enough to stay in touch with a few of the children I looked after, all adults now, and they are doing ok, this partly due to me investing my own time and helping them out once they became adults and being there for them, but many of the children grow up to be homeless or end up in prison, uncared for and totally lost. The system has not changed sadly.
Thank you for your hard work bringing these stories to life. My mother put my brother in care when he was 12. He committed suicide in his thirties. Hopefully, your hard work will save others from the same fate. I send you my best wishes for future success and a full recovery from the failings of state care.
It's still not recognised properly that when you are damaged so badly you have heightened reactions to any perceived threat. Restraint is always going to trigger a response of fight or flight.
absolutely
I spent time in several children’s homes. Most were awful but one was really the best place for me. When I returned 15 years later they were pleased to see and published my essay in their newsletter. When I left, I was presented with a plaque. I look at it everyday and try to as caring as that little girl. I was so lucky. I pray for those that weren’t lucky and are still trying to find home.
Fantastic Daniel - this was so insightful. It feels like children in the care system are demonised and not set up at all to lead fulfilling or safe lives once they leave.
I am an anomaly too! So glad to see others doing well. The line that hit home the most is one I have said all too often " all the people I grew up with are dead or in prison " so sad yet so true, very few of us manage to crawl out of the pit of despair that is the care system.
That's so sad. I hope you get all the support and help you need to process all of this and live a good life. ❤You deserve it just like everyone else. ❤
that line brought me to tears...
When I lived in Children's Homes some of the staff would spend their entire shift sitting in the office talking on the phone and did absolutely no work!
There are those who even refuse to open the window for fresh AIR, knowing the width of opening is secured sufficiently for safety, staff and residence Observed a resident wrist bandaged as she explained the window request refused, slashed her own wrist!
You deserved so much better Nick, I do hope you have managed to find yourself in a place in life where you can heal and are safe now. Take care 💜🕯🙏
Yep locked widows
You know there is something wrong when people who used to live there are asked to leave the place. It’s their youth they were visiting. Compare this when you go back to your old school, everybody is happy to see, even when you weren’t the best student.
I mean there are still children there and if you do not know the real reason for filming it's probably a good call to ask them to go. The children should be protected in that respect.
Sadly we live in a world where strangers are suspect because they may be downright dangerous.
Good god, even the thought of viewing my files gives me a panic attack!
I know they're gonna be full of utter dog s**t, just vain attempts at self exoneration by the blandest minds, traffic wardens with the power of life and death bestowed, leaving a trail of human debris in their uncaring wake.
The dead, rigid, in toilet stalls, abandoned buildings, under bridges haunt me, but I doubt many of the staff care too much or take any responsibility for the overdoses and violent ends that came to so many of my mates.
💕🙏Here's sending warm wishes your way. Stay strong.
@@TheRealDeal130 💪
Wow, you are amazing to have come out the otherside with any sanity. You have a gift with writing, you really painted an emotively powerful picture with your words. I wish for you heartfelt healing and I hope you have found a forfilling life outside these archaic institutions and inspite of all you have been through. Love and light to you for the future.💜🕯
It is very well known that in most developed countries, child care is a legalized system for abusing kids in every possible way. Doubling down on the social fate awaiting those children, for the care system feasts on misery and very often produce its own flock.
I worked in a safe home when I was in college and more than two decades later I wonder about those kids. This was beautiful and heartbreaking to see how the system fails these vulnerable wonderful children.
The whole system needs to be reformed.
It appears the courts have abandoned RECONCILIATION and REFORMATION for reform centres prison and the grave of mental institutions.
I'm a children's carer and studying to be a social worker. I see in my work that most of the people who are working there are not trained well enough and most even thought they have the best intentions they do not know what to do. Language is very important too
Please let me warn you of one thing. When visiting a new family do not listen to other social workers and go in with prejudice. Try an open mind there may be stuff their bias missed.
In my case hidden nurodivergency and physical undiagnosed health issues.
What a beautiful person and every child deserves to know they matter and have value and are deserving of love. 💜 Thank you Danny, can’t wait to read your book.
Thank you for sharing this documentary. Very sad story and truth exposed about the failing system. I wish there were practical steps we could take as a society to fix it. All these children are ours. In the future, they will be our neighbours and part of our society. I'm a teacher and I remember once (teaching ESL in Spain) discussing misbehaviour of kids in classrooms and how to tackle it. I listened to my colleagues proposing various ideas some sounding helpless or annoyed. My comment was short: we should approach any challenging behaviour and situation with love, we are the adults here after all!, because we don't know what these kids go through at home and at school and some scars are not visible. That's what's missing from the system: love and compassion, and mature adults looking after kids. What does it say about our society when we treat our most vulnerable in this way? Shame on us...
Having children is not a right, it is a privilege, that many people don’t deserve.
But how do you judge who deserves to have children and who doesn’t? It isn’t about money, many financially stable parents, emotionally neglect their children, but ensure they have sufficient material provisions, many poor parents love their children deeply, even if they can’t give them, all that they need.
Ultimately, the way a society treats its most vulnerable people, usually its youngest and oldest members is indicative of how well functioning a country is at all levels, from cultural to socio-economic.
Everyone I've known who was in the care system has ended up with serious mental health issues. It's one of the many things in this country that are probably never going to change because the government don't give a toss.
Fantastic report, things need to be said, bravo for talking about the people and they are going through!
its money.
if these jobs where well paid, you would get more people applying, so wouldd be able to pick better candidates.
If staffing was good, people would be less tired and better able to do things right.
If specialists were more available then you wouldnt have tired, poorly paid generalist employees dealing with every possible situation
Same in assisted living for disabled adults/seniors...
Wow, this is f'd up... I'm sorry for these poor souls.
They were not poor, society made the destitution instead of caring and nursing these children into thriving adults.
It's so sad. Sometimes we as a nation treat animals better than people.
The care system let me down and my brother, I was I'm the care system for years ,different homes ,Foster homes, I the system needs to change ,vetting for pendos ,genuine people that really care and have time for you,not just a pay packet! I was in the system as far bk as late 60s to the early 80s! I also have ptsd due to the many trumas I've lived through
I was in the care system myself it was a horrible experience that was in the early 60s I was abused in one of the children s home s it was physically abused which damaged me for years
In my experience whole system is largely staffed by a "type" who are wholly unsuitable. Often jumped up youth workers, you pay peanuts ......
People who are treated as though they don't matter tend to treat others the same way.
I'm saying this after 12 years working in care and am now much happier driving a lorry.
Dear, dear Daniel, you are a gem. Keep shining your light and your strength and your ability to overcome. Your story is powerful and will impact so many young people who are going through or have gone through the care system. You are an inspiration.
My grandparents failed my dad. The foster care system failed my dad. He began working 3 jobs while still in school. Bought his own car. Slept in his car. Made a plan before he graduated. He became a truck driver, and took care of our family. Taught us values, like hard work. He retired at 55. He still never wasted a day, a moment, a second. When he died he was working in his garage on race car. It’s up to us to realize we have to work to become what we want.
Your dad was the exception, not the rule. Once a kid is damaged, you get a damaged adult the vast majority of the time.
Why waste time and money on those that are dead already?
Very proud of you Danny of the journey you’ve undertaken and for sharing it with the public. It underscores a huge under belly in our society where lots of damaged children from broken homes are not properly looked after 😮
City, state, and governmental workers often don't care about their job beyond just keeping their paychecks coming. They aren't held to high enough standards of hiring, and they are rarely held accountable for poor work performance. And look at what happens as a result. It's horrible.
A paycheck that barely lets them eat..
Remarkable film, really excellent
I hope "Lucy" finds her child. She deserves to find her child.
sound like the youngsters are badly let down by the system. it must be hard to ever gain trust if this continues to go on. it isnt right.
Mr Lavelle,is it possible to get your book outside the UK?
My prayers for you and for all those who were heartbroken when living in the system.
This is heartbreaking
Love and support from South Carolina…
Thanks for sharing
This is moving and highlights such important issues. As a society we are letting these children down big time.
Absolutely awful what happens to these kids, and it's not just happening, we're talking since 1940s 50s My grandad was an officer in the army, my Nana had Polio so my mum was put in a home run by nuns, it's a well known place, and my mum was lucky, she eventually went home once my Nana was rehabilitated enough to look after her, she never walked again, and my mum was never put through the ordeal she was put through again!! Nuns were evil, nasty, not the kind caring people you'd expect!! I'm so happy for this young man, he's not let his past define him, and he deserves the best of everything life can give him ❤️
So insightful 👏. Awareness needs to be raised to save our youth. Fantastic Daniel keep up the great work.
Care is a rare commodity.
People don't even care enough about others not getting sick or potentially dying to perform the little gesture of wearing a mask.
One of my support workers I have had since the first lockdown has always regardless boundaries she will give me a hug as she understand I need that when I have an autistic meltdown or upset. She was my enabler she was the five hours a week so we be close with in those boundaries she is only 13 months older than me so she is still like a sister or friend. We have a strong relationship she the one I always ask for advice first. We had months where she and my other carers were the only people I saw
absolutely, there’s a distinct lack of care and compassion in british culture.
@@jifij89 it's because of single mothers
I need to read this guy's book! Bless them all proud of him for hugging his friend,I'd like to give him a hug! 💕
What's his book called?
@TheGuardian PLEASE do more with this young man and others like him.
But he's just whining about being a victim because his parents were failures.
This broke my heart. I got all my abuse and neglect at home. Never give up.
Sadly its still going on now
I truly think you are an exceptional young person. Keep your good work up, don’t let the Bastards get you down! Your winning 🌻
This is such a brave documentary, thank you.
Thank you Danny for sharing this with the world. This has inspired me and I'm sure others, to look for ways to help someone in a tangible, practical way. God bless you.
same story whatever the decade. Massive thanks for these reports.
We have been falling children and young people in this country for decades :/ the system is awful it doesn’t protect the vulnerable instead it criminalises them.
Giving the parents support when a kid starts acting out, has learning problems, make sure they have stable employment when they have to take time to deal with kid's physical mental health and keep families intact. Too quick to put kids in care and traumatize them, as Lucy points out the pain of losing your kid never, ever goes away. So if everyone is getting hurt and it costs lots of money, why do it??
Incredible journalism. Thank you for sharing your story. Please continue to shed a light on these experiences.
Thank you
Amazing film.
Respect, thanks, and so much support to these survivors.... And ty Guardian for this great documentary.
Thank you for sharing this.
Heartbreaking!
Thank you Daniel.
Go well. x
(St Josephs Orphanage Subiaco)
Brilliant documentary thank you
I'd argue they didn't 'fail', because that implied that they 'tried' first. They didn't fail, they abused and betrayed.
Brilliant view into such a destitute system of "care".
No one wants failures
Thank you for sincerity
Your concerns matter
#haiku #fostercare #shineyourlightg
Outstanding journalist- let’s see more of his work. Good job Guardian
They get paid whether they help them or not and its much easier to deal with someone for throwing a cup than help someone getting sexual exploited. To those workers it's a job, not a passion. They think "oh it's looking after kids, how hard can that be?"
Some carers shouldn't be allowed anywhere near vulnerable people.
A lot of carers I've met were straight up sociopaths
Good documentary guardian. 👍
Thank you for sharing your thoughts ♥️🇺🇸
Cost of living is going to cost these young people so much.
Its a really bad situation to be put through ,even if the young person is part of a stable long term loving family relationship ,. My best mate could never heal ,he was so smart and nothing brought him into the light
This is a brilliant segment. 👏 this is so important. I love the guy who has presented it. Someone who is so relevant to the story. Children shouldn't be in care. Children like this should be in boarding schools where they can associate with children of different abilities and teachers and staff who are more trained and empathetic. Where they can spend their evenings focused on sport, activities and strong structure.
I wish you all, all the luck in the world.
This is how it was 50 years ago in the USA...& still today. WHY? WHY?
The system is so twisted with its effort to help ,, its now mostly to protect social workers from legal actions and self preservation,,hard job to have
I would like to meet this chap and discuss the cqre of children by local authorities as i am someone who has been in care myself i was in care for a total of 19 years official but 21 total as before 2 the order was made i was a child in need and in need of protection well so they claimed anyways.
You are fortunate to have care homes open universities where you pay a minimum for education. Children in America just get passed around in foster care and are lucky if they reach adulthood. Most people in foster care industry do for the money and pedophiles and sadists. In South Africa Orphanage are a luxury.
The problem with care is that we don't.
We need to unite behind one leader with the balls to do what needs to be done. How long are we going to wait?
But which leader?
That's the rub.
I am In cear and I got a part time work
❤
Wow this is always how ive explained it no one belived me 😮
:(... Pensé que en un país "desarrollado" podría ser diferente para los niños abandonados.
Developed countries institutionalise child abuse into their legal systems. It's a complete nightmare to be a parent in the UK. The authorities are constantly trying to annihilate the family unit
With every problem the answers lies in the foundation and a failed system
Yes, because the best thing you can do to a child who's been taken away from her family is take away her fucking child 😓
Exactly
It's okay so that it's life rounds as it goes
Remarkable the problems Google has to make sense of the accent for closed captioning..
Talk and keep talking
"...the strength of the pack is the wolf
And the strength of the wolf is the pack" -Kipling
Reverence for life Where has it gone?
We no longer respect the mystery of life
Living creatures, intrical parts of a living system that sustains all manner of life, are no longer magical
Only simple commodities Just about everything has been commodified
Hubris & greed are de facto encouraged & rewarded in this pervasive system And it has transformed us into cannibals just trying to keep up, but steadily slipping
How to withdraw participation in a system so predatory? Supporting real value rather than a tool to measure value, money?
LOVE. CONQUERS. ALL.
Sounds like my time in Air Cadets...
We all know the answer- more funding. We know we need better educated staff,which costs more, smaller staff to child ratios, which costs more and small group homes with a “mom” and “dad” which costs more. Never happen unfortunately.
So are we to believe that his massive files were totally purposeless? We get very few clues as to exactly what is wrong with the system apart from money being cut. These accounts leave as many questions as answers.
Perhaps funding is the most obvious problem. From it depends good training, good pay, frequent checking, good recruiting, competences, the mere existence of structures allowing the system to function in an optimal manner for the children, etc.
@@alkante2962 You are probably 100% correct. But from this posting, we get few clues as to what exactly the individuals feel is lacking and what changes they feel are required. And the extensive dossier on the main speaker, which he understandably destroyed, tends to suggest unrevealed complexities. Here we have just 3 voices. They clearly feel that the system failed them, but does that mean it also fails most kids across the country?
There have been many documentaries. His coverage is not the first. There have even been documentaries about people wanting to adopt out of care and how the system malfunctions there. They all say the same. Every investigation says the same. There has not been any investigation known to me that contradicts this view.
Thank you Guardian! This is the sort of reality that the BBC should be covering but don’t.
I dread to think of the relationship between BBC staff and vulnerable children in the last few decades
This is the same world wide... absolutely disgusting... people just don't care...most don't...only a few do.
Sure the tories are bending over backwards to build a care system fit for purpose and will not rest until the necessary investment is achieved.
No, of course not, I am being sarcastic, just for any tory voters reading this.
it won't change its money all money
Care system owes them?
Good article, the abuse that went on in these places. The people incharge or such places knew of the brutality that was happening, yet they only encouraged it.
Ford Park, in one news article, they named it "The lost boys".
One house master got 16 years in prison for his part.
The kids got fuckall
*Damaged but not broken* for Money
ObeyObey
Sounds like my family. Cold cruel hatful and narcissistic