over again

Journal entry from when I made this:
"I've realized how short sighted I had always been, how I never quite got the big picture until when I was left to figure out life. I've always placed so much importance on meeting deadlines, achieving high scores, and fulfilling expectations... all of which were only because I was told to. Its only now that I realize how naive I’d been for not having any goals for myself. So much of my self worth comes from these "goals". If I didn't have them or failed to achieve them, I immediately start feeling inadequate and cut people off because I feel like I'm not worthy to be in their presence. Pretending to be an adult in the real world is exhausting. It’s easier to lock myself in my room than to confront the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to maintain a facade."
I'm relieved I'm not in that mindset anymore, but I find myself regressing ever so slightly from time to time. I made this to cope with that feeling, and I hope anyone going through anything similar finds solace in it.
Everything from composition to video editing by yours truly. DIY all the way :)