Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep.589
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- Опубліковано 1 лис 2024
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GOOD MORNING JEANS ABOVE 18!! Tom Segura and Christina P start off this episode of Your Mom's House with a video of a woman crying because she browned herself at work. They also watch a crying Trump supporter, Senator Chuck Schumer's Freudian slip on the Senate floor, Js getting yelled at by a boat captain, a batch of Christina's TikToks, and a doctor who explains that male on male relations aren't necessarily gay. The Main Mommies then chat with the "Video Message Cool Guy" himself, Elliott. Elliott provides more context for his infamous video and gives some behind the scenes details on the making of it. Jean and Jean then proceed to compare Elliott's video with video message all-stars Charles and Joe. Todd and Crystal wrap up by remembering some of their worst dating mishaps.
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I've missed skipping through all your dates
Skipping ad reads just wasn't doing it for me.
@@LpJunior537 how about both :)
That's how they get you, sponser ads, dates, and then UA-cam ads, jesus. They're e basically holding a gun to our head to pay for their free version and I might bite bullet. But that's the amazing invention of the fast forward button.
Top comment
You skipped right over the low key porn music in the background.
I wish I had friends irl that watched this show lol
Preach
It’s really hard to get people to watch bc of all the inside jokes.
You have us mommies!
This show is legit a friend on its own
I told my friend he's gotta see this funny clip of this Old guy Mark, so check it he's J'ing his D right... Noone wants to watch this with me 😒
What a sweet man Elliot is. If my wife dies I’m definitely coming up to Columbus in May
And there's nothing gay about that. Just two male friends having sex. It's just for fun.
I used to think that was super gay but a doctor on tik tok explained it's not.
Toms TopDog laugh is slowly becoming his default laugh. He is truly becoming a dad. I bet Christina comes home to find him slumped in the lazyboy in front of the TV all the time
Watching World War 2 documentaries?
such a dad thing ...
If you pay attention, he also involuntarily slips out a non-ironic "okay?" every now and then.
The best part of covid was not having to listen to the tour dates.
Fr bruh
Much respect to Elliot for coming on the show. He totally manned up to his mistake and embrased the meme. Good on you dude.
Yep took it like a champ
It is weird though that he was that socially unaware this far into his life lol. It shouldn’t have took all of this for him to realize that everything about the video was cringy especially that dumb ass haircut (that he still has)
@@BabyFoodChewer damn you're jealous...
Elliot is fucking awesome. That was a great interview. Yo Elliot, if you read this, you're dope dude.
@@BabyFoodChewer nah his hair looks better now, he combed it to the side rather than having straight up like bart simpson
Todd and Christine are the best part of the week every week
Church of jeans
pretty much
Keeping me sane in these fucked times to be totally honest.
A new episodes from Todd and Christine is a blessing in the skies😌
need two episodes a week damn near
Nadav saying “a pack of j’s” killed me 🤣
So funny when nadav hates on j's
For some reason, in my 5th grade Spanish class, we never learned Spanish, we spent the entire school year learning the chacha slide dance so we could do it at the school talent show. We lost. I don’t know any Spanish.
I completely believe this
I just know this is the American school system and God am I proud
🇺🇲
Ok, this is getting out of hand now. Tom just pronounced “once” as “wance”.
33:55
😆😆
I time stamped this in a comment before I saw this. Sorry for the stolen valor jeans piss on me beat me I’m home here now
Elliot is a good sport. I'm glad he has a sense of humour and can laugh at himself.
Legit thought Elliott was going to cry. This is a redemption story. Natalia did him dirty. Really feel for this kid but I think he'll be just fine. Makes you really rethink internet shaming.
It’s actually pretty good idea to put yourself out there on a big podcast. He probably will get some DMs after this.
Look at Tina showing off how well both her arms work in that intro. Poor poor baby arm Tim
#armchamp
#reacharound
#ablebodychamp
He's in a wheelchair :(
Anyone notice how Tom says *"Annie Thing"* instead of *"anything/ any"* ?
Jeez here we go
He really does tho
Poor ESL Timmy.
Ennyway is the correct pronunciation
Fully Tok’d proto.
Honestly absolutely shocked that Eliot isn't a complete lunatic.
He’s so fucking nice. Like Charles was nice after his video, this dude is like Ned Flanders.
I mean he is pretty busy, about to be a millionaire.
I mean he kind of is. He was like, for a first date let’s scale a wall illegally and jump into a body of water where we don’t know what we’re going to land on.
I've met quite a few hyper normies from some really weird families, nature vs nurture is definitely a complicated one
When he said “they dmed me and said “hey there’s this guy named Charles”” killed me
Nadav: “these GD disrespectful J’s man” 😂😂😂
I hope nadav is at ymh for life😂
Nadav sounds like he thinks Hitler had some intriguing ideas...
@@ajfiveohfour That would make Native a self-hating Jew lol.
Shout out to everybody all over the world doin thay thang and stuff like that.
Thanks bro, you too.
I got a DUI baaabbyyyyy
For realz doe
And everything like that
They the real heroes
Just wait until Tom is older and He is talking to his kids about what they want to eat in 3 weeks
Can't wait til their kids get their hands on these pods. Welcome to your mom's house indeed.
@@Ssyphoned They'll be so fucked up listening to some of these. I want a podcast of them reacting to these.
Whenever Kristin makes Todd laugh she gets such a look of satisfaction on her face
They really missed the boat on calling it a - "Jooze Cruise".
That is the funniest thing I have ever read. Not sure why but hit me right in the giggle spot
@@jonathanjeffries3997 I'm glad I gave you a laugh 😆
When Christina gets into the intro song it makes my day
She looks like she's going to do that "walk like an Egyptian" dance but never quite gets there
Its when they do the air guitar for me
Poor Top Dog just wants to talk to his son :(
Tom will feel like shit when his dad is gone
Top Dog wants to make the most of his last years.
I feel like a jackass I've been doing that to my grandma because I've been working so much. Makes me feel like an asshole
@@well_as_an_expert_id_say you should lol go call your grandma and tell her you love her!!
Omfg, I Love how much Top Dog loves his boy. It's the sweetest thing ever.
YMH out here changing lives. Elliot is about to get so much puss and indeed natalia is a really big word for sharing his video, but also glad she did it.
Elliot has become a YMH legend in real time amd I'm here for it 🙏
Natalia is a real knucklehead.
Legend
BIG WORDS
When he said that people told him, “honestly man, there’s this guy named Charles” I died
I’d watch an entire episode of Tom doing his different voices. The one for his dad, the one for the girl in porn, the one he uses for Bruce Krishna...they get me every time.
Don’t forget OMG Maria!
Has enough time passed to admit that Tom was actually Robert Paul Champagne in character....?
23:10 evidence?
Omg I never considered that RPC’s handlebar mustache does resemble toe one Tim used on “The People’s Mayor,” and Tammy Boy does know video production crews who do face-replacement (his dance video).
you're reaching haaarrrrd... some people are just funny and other people are you.
No
Robert probably had a trashalance kill him
tom sounding like top dog more and more "wellll buddy, when an artist has a dance, it can work, like the Macarena"
Can’t believe they didn’t ask Elliot about being a recovering attorney
😂😂😂
I've always questioned that phrase he used, so odd
Can Tom just do a whole episode of him personating his dad, or just have him on throughout the entire pod? He is an American treasure. Top Dog is TOP DOG!
Elliot is awesome for coming on the show and seems like a genuine guy. Hope the best for him.
Good morning my Jeans above 18 I hope you're all having a juanderful day
Christina dancing is totally “when you’re a fun mom” vibes. 😂 love the podcast guys!
Sometimes I wonder if Christine is actually Tok’d and then I see her attempt to dance during the intro music and I’m just like damn ya girl Christine is actually fully tok’d
the reality is she's just not that funny. Props to Tom for keeping things balanced
Much like Tommy found a way to observe his own psyche gone mad with crime docs and shows, Christine has found that with Tiktok
@@onnjahh Aw cool! I’m glad you are coming out as a straight guy who likes to fuck other dudes. :,) Really warms all of our hearts and jeans.
For me it’s the way she dismissed nas for jay z. That told me everything I need to know about how many times Tom has cheated on her while on the road 😌
Tom is VISIBLY uncomfortable when Christina is questioning him about hooking up with that girl from Melrose.
I still can't get over how honestly uncomfortable he looked to me when Push just casually mentioned the cum stain on her "Queens above 18" hoodie she was wearing on air while sitting next to him a few weeks ago (I think?)
I am starting to have trouble telling if me sensing that their marriage is having some problems behind the scenes is just the bit being high quality or if some of it is actually real, because some of Tom's body language/facial expressions in these moments seems really genuine
Imagine looking at christina with berts voice in your head saying "push"
Jesus i despise them both.
Tom should go to new York York gerr some real comedy in.
@@kusucks991 push.......😒😒😒
You're gross
@@axiom.ai.obviousbattletank7139 What? It's short for Pazsitsky. Tom, Bert, and LeAnn all use it on air. I just figured I was talking to the same audience that would know...
(edited typo)
Is there some other meaning than that?
@@axiom.ai.obviousbattletank7139 ??? That's her actual nickname, weird-beard.
This podcast cracked me up. Tom's story at the end and Christina's reaction to it was hilarious. I needed that
I can only imagine how many Jeans are sliding into Elliot's DMs
The segura silhouette should be the official nba logo
Lmao
I hope you know they sell air segura merchandise with the stumble man on it
I’d buy the Jersey... 🤷♀️
N R-word B A
Already copyrighted by the "Michelin company".
"It's exciting that I'm into killing now."
- Christina P
Better hope that never gets taken out of context.
She’s from racist stock, Im not surprised, plus she always says nazi-esque nonsense.
No one would care. the mommies rule the fucking world
We know she’s not talking about her standup “killing.”
@@missgstar2389 .
"She's from racist stock" let that sink in. Shes from a racist race. Says the 100% racist.
@@missgstar2389 wdym dawg
“What you doing Friday and you better not be bleeding”
its funny how both Tom and Kristina recognize that his dad gives in outdated dating-advice from the 50ies, but lack the self awareness to realize that their own dating advice doesnt work anymore in the world of dating apps and excessive social media. and none of Kristinas advice makes sense
Hook Tom's Dad up with Elliott? Sounds like he wants a Dad to tell him stories about facts and blondes
Perfect 👌
farts*
Whoa
Some people bring problems to the table, others bring solutions.
More ads than broken bones in Tim’s body.
When youre feathering it brother. What a Rush
Gotta get it hot there bud
*IIIIYAAAAAAAAAAHHH* 👹👹👹🔥🔥🔥🔥
Just picked up some ❄ and been feathering it ever since
Kristiana talking about calling someone for date as opposed to text sounds like an old person talking about “going steady.”
"Chinese people never take off holidays." - TikTok Tina less than 2 weeks before the Chinese new year begins
Aww Elliott is such a good sport I love him, but I do not want to go to Curio
WTF Elliot seems way more normal on the show than in his terrifying first date video.
I thought he was still kind of weird. The "nobody taught me how to be a man" thing was odd. At least his hair was combed a little better on the show, he looked like donkey kong in the original video
@@peanutgallery7753 He's taking ownership of his awkward personality and why he thinks he is the way he is. I attribute him donkey kong energy for that alone. love the username btw
@@Shovelshuffle I'm sure he's a nice enough guy
"Jesus, you wanna clear that with me?"
Best part of this whole show is Tom talking about his dad.
Hearing Christina give asking out advice makes me feel like Tom getting advice from his dad
Still can’t stand people who brag about how “busy” they are, but damn I feel bad about roasting Elliott now lol.
Seems like such a good dude
I got a tiny bit worried when he was describing his 'ideal first date' and hiking deep into the woods, swimming a half-mile and then he sounded like he was about to say 'there's a small ravine' but shifted his sentence.
@@κεηγση lol yeah he's either super into being outside, or a killer 🤣 Adventure is cool but maybe for the first date let's go somewhere I can have my phone and reception. And a witness or two.
EREI
@@jacquelinekemp4897 😃
good morning kings and queens above 18!!
Time to get up and start the day
Get you a nice hot breakfast.
C'mon get UP
Here early and ready to start the day off right
Keep it high and tight Hitler
You better believe im coming up in May
Put your feet on the ground get a nice hot breakfast
Coffees on, breakfast is on
Hit the ground running, my Queen!
Elliot needs to set up a google drive where interested ladies can upload their own videos pitching them on their date ideas
Todd and Christine talking in circles about their parents talking in circles
Christina definitely only talks about the same topics every week 😂
Damn, poor Elliot. Seems like a really nice guy.
Surprisingly on par with Charles.
@@justinbygraves3261 yeah but Charles was still charming, Elliot is fucking tragic.
@@tonymcdonald1961 idk i think elliot is charming too he has a lot of potential
Elliot seems douchey. Never say bro or man to a girl. Especially when asking them out.
@@El_Wanderer91 I think claiming that your about to be a millionaire is pathetic also.
I was really hoping Elliott was going to say “So Natalia, if you’re watching this...... hit me up.”
That dog screaming about Bailey was really cool for my ears! Thanks jeans!
Watch. Tim and Kimmy to their kids in 20 years: “So. Like bacon?”
Enny killed that merch intro 10/10
Elliot will definitely get a girl off this for sure... hes smart for coming on the show
9 Ads AND Ad reads? Tommy rollin in that dough.
We are paying for their move to Texas this week. They make thousands per episode just on clicks. Add in all the live reads and youtube ads tom can hire a football player to watch him break his other leg this year.
@@niteshade8546 exactly
I love how every time Tom does a black guy impersonation he always starts it with "check this shit out"
THATS CRICKET RIGHT THERE
Funny how Tom always ends up having to share and get judged for his old sexual encounters but Christina never ends up talking about her past sexual experiences. Just saying fair is fair
but is it tho?
@@pickleslife154 yeah why not?
It’s obviously a bit that she “doesn’t know” any of them lmao you’re dense
"Have you ever had a turkey sandwich with mustard?"
A question my mom asked me when I was 35 years old 😂....Tom's dad asking him if he ever had bacon reminded me
Tom's impression of the Martin Lawrence line dance joke is killin, LOL
The ad breaks starting to get unreal. Getting to be pretty low and loose
9 in the first hour. Jesus thank god for ad blocker fuck that shit.
Speaking of, are there any free adblockers that are legit
@@well_as_an_expert_id_say I use "AdBlock" and "Adblock for UA-cam" with chrome. Works perfectly.
christina quote "Im into killing now", Now we have a team.
“That’s what this animal is trained to do.” Holy shit
Waiting for the Tom breaking himself Jesus piece-esque gold chain attachment
I keep my jeans higher and tighter than any chomo out there
Just so long as youre following proto, you featherin it brother?
I really like thaaat.👍
So tight your piece is wearing a hole right through that denim 👌
Is that a challenge?!?!
Can someone fill me in on why the whole "chomo" thing is supposed to be funny? I just don't understand why joking about child molesters is funny.
Everyday I get home from work my gf says, “is there dead people?” Signifying that she would like me to present her with a new dead person doc as I have created a legitimate problem for myself. Stay safe Tim, don’t let Christy get too good at murder. 👍🏽🤷🏻♂️
hope u make it chief
@@thijsfb pray for me 🙏🏽
"I've finished my armoire and have some leftover 2by4's, I could just hit a woman with it!" hahahhahahahahahha. The best! Love you guys
"that's what this animal was trained to do" I'm actually crying 😂😂😂
“Is she drinking a Christmas ornament?”- Christina P.
What is the timestamp for this? I didn't catch it the first time for some reason
1:01:28
When Tom was asking Zolo about being gay, he pronounced ‘once’ the same way he pronounces ‘won’, but added an s. Which is proof he’s saying ‘won’ incorrectly.
Also "Annie Thing" instead of "anything" (but he says Enny's name right lmao)
Can’t stand listening to that lil kid with spit all in his mouth
I thought you were saying zolo came out til I watched the video. Guess my gaydar is broken.
@@groomedtodie No it's ok you're white. All white ppl can do gay stuff and not be gay
@@austezygotKUSH bro he's only 13, don't bully a child
Big ups to Elliott for coming on the show. That takes some balls and it's good exposure.
Finally a version of " Nedav is googling " that I can mosh to!!!
🤘🤘
Tim wincing when Crustyna goes too far always makes me smile
I see that Nadav was released from the dungeon. Good for him.
Top Dog just wants to love you, be grateful and take advantage before he's gone
WTF Craig and Tyneesha, haven’t opened the show yet and I’ve seen more ads than the duration of “The final game of the professional football season”
DO THE BLACK HISTORY EPISODE FOR ENNY!
THEN A JEW/or “JEW” EPISODE FOR NADAV!
"I don't mind if a dog licks my sweaty forehead." Awsome analogy 😂
Every wednesday morning... "oh look a new Your Mom's House..... let me skip to the 10 minute mark so I dont have to listen to all the Ads"
AYO WHOS EATING WHOS SCRUM
Elliot seemed cool as shit and I can definitely sympathize with him. We’ve all sent that text or left that voicemail that was a little too much... but never a video that shits crazy
Whe Tom said “that is from Home Depot” I knew he’s never been to a Home Depot 😂😂
Tim talking about his Dad's onset of dementia with apparently not understanding what is happening, classic Tim
Damn, Tom is such a film connoisseur. I'd watch Tom's reviews.
At work just got the notification let’s get it mommy’s I’m choking on my belt buckle my pants are so high right now
Those pants better be very tight jeans!
“Is she drinking a Christmas ornament?”
Funniest thing she has said on the podcast in 4 years
17:44 🤣 just watch Tom look at Christina and automatically attach his head.
Idk why but I laughed SO hard @ 1:27:31 when Tom threw his hands up at the booth & said “it’s fun”😂😂
The menstrual blood clips bother me more than any "heavy clips" from the live shows
I feel kinda bad giggling at this comment as a woman 🙊
@@sipfromthehourglass it doesn't bother me that women have periods, just when they start painting their faces and making smoothies with it is when I really get grossed out.
Haha I agree. I promise I'm not giving you shit.
Bro, I'm a woman and every woman I know exclusively uses tampons because pads are nasty as fuck, moist and wet and warm and disgusting. I can't believe this new wave of women wearing "free bleed panties"
@@idab6864 this is the first I'm hearing of those, that sounds awful
I can’t figure out if these emojis are new 🦾 🦿 or if I’ve just been thinking about Tom a lot lately
Good morning Julia
Ice cold
Julia I will change your life. I just need one day.
Oh man, I’ve an HR meeting to discuss why I was watching this on work computer. Wish me luck
prepare some clips to show them to make your argument more convincible!
Make sure to bring up the education you received on the use of a teleprompter and presentation clicker
I love Enny so much. Humble, funny, oblivious, and cool as hell
my dad's advice when i just finished college in 2009: "Shine your shoes and make sure to shake the boss's hand firmly."
Me: "We apply online now dad. wtf."