Ive just been diagnosed with progressive m.s. I come back to this documentary because the strength of these 2 men show in this. They teach me that no matter what u have to keep living your life. When i found out it had progressed so much in my legs i could no longer walk. With watching this film iam happy to tell u guys iam learning to walk again. I went from the wheelchair to now a walker. Hopefully in a year i will be walking with a cane. THANKYOU GUYS SOOO MUCH FOR THIS FILM IT HAS HELP ME SO MUCH. When u have a disease with no cure where they tell u tou will never work again its devastating. TOM AND MARK I HOPE U GUY KNOW JUST HOW AMAZING U WERE. ITS 2023 AND YOU GUYS ARE STILL HELPING PPL THROUGH YOUR ART. RIP BOYS YOU ARE VERY MISSED.❤❤❤
Sorry to hear love I wish you all the best love and prayers from county Kerry Ireland. If you ever need to talk I'm here. I died for 4 minutes from an od and there is a heaven I had several and only when I died that happened.
I was a student at Hampshire College in the late 1970s when Tom was a film teacher there. He and Mark ate in the student dining commons, and always sat at a large round table that seated about 10 people. An eclectic mix of students would always fill out their table. Tom and Mark's energy, their inclination toward open self-examination, drove the endless conversation and laughter and engagement at that table. Their engagement, at meals and throughout the day, served as a vehicle for so many others to explore and learn about themselves. As a teacher, Tom was a good-spirited, unassuming steward of a journey through life...our journeys through life. It was so right that they took their places among students at those tables, as peers in a circle. By being relatively further along in their own journeys than the students, they modeled the richness of a deep dive into life. They made it so easy for students to come with their own baggage and still comfortably take a place in the circle, in the discussion, in the journey, to explore. The dynamic was remarkable. (They remind me to laugh at how ugly we look when stripped naked, and yet we are somehow rendered beautiful by an injection of love.)
What a great tribute to them and memory. I was born in 1988, so I'm way too young to remember the AIDS crisis much, but I found this documentary last year and it is one of the most emotionally touching that I've ever seen. May they both rest in peace
@@Chase-b5t I recently got in an argument with someone that said it's no different coming out now than it was in 1990 when I came out. I was like, are you serious!??? You've got to be joking. Coming out in the 90's was like a death sentence. Gay men were looked at like pariahs. Of course, he's in his 20's, so I can't fault him for not knowing. Thank God films like this exists so people remember what it was really like.
I just watched this. It was probably the most powerful documentary I have ever seen; I'm so glad these moments were preserved on film. This documentary is a testament to Tom and Mark's love for each other, a love which was as good as any couples and stronger than most.
Mr. Friedman, I know you’ve heard similar things many times over the years, but I have to let you know what profound affect this film has had on me. You, Tom and Mark are heroes. Their selfless acts of courage and bravery in the face of this terrible disease are unbelievable. The way these 2 wonderful men chose to show what AIDS did to people in a time when the disease was still very misunderstood is heroic. I’ll never forget the first time I watched this. It changed me. Not because I’m a happily married, straight man who was homophobic. Because I’ve never been homophobic, I guess homosexuality was just never a part of my life in any way so I didn’t know much or understand it. Now I do and I can say with clarity that true love can exist this way and Tom and Mark showed me that through this film. Their love for one another was beautiful and the battle they fought together was courageous. It shows that no matter what your opinions are nobody deserved to die this way. I’ve watched it a few times now and each time it has that same profound affect on me. It’s just as important today as it was then. You did an incredible job finishing it and did Tom and Mark very well. I’m sure they are proud looking down on you. Although we’ve come a long way in the war against AIDS, the fight is not over. More people need to realize that. It may not be the “death sentence” it once was, but people are still sick and there’s no true cure. I hope that new generations of people will still see this film and know about Tom and Mark. Because they deserve it and the world needs it. Thanks for this Mr. Friedman
You are correct when you say that I've heard similar things many times over the years, but what you may or may not know is that documentary filmmaking is generally not very rewarding: the films attract small audiences and most filmmakers must constantly fundraise (no fun) and take teaching jobs to make ends meet. What makes all that worthwhile is comments like yours. I'm glad you appreciate the film. Please don't underestimate the value of what you have given me in return. Thank you.
@@peterfriedman7193 i feel exactly the same. The amount of courage u and they all put together is so incredible that it s...beyond words for me. Except thank you. Years later, when i m about to give up hope in humanity, i think about stories like their and others i knew in the beginning of 90s... To me who has seen a lot of human rights fights these 35 past years, it still is the most impressive example of what human beings can be and do at their best. Thank you so much for having filmed and shared these memories we all need to see, gay or straight, to believe in love and...courage is not enough to describe this and what happened then, and how... Perhaps more people can understand and realize now, after covid, the incredible amount of courage it took to go through that hell, fighting this terrible disease and public despise and phobia at the same time. Terrifying. Impressive example for ever, for everyone with a brain and heart. Love and deeep respect from across the world, for this.
Tom was one of the lucky ones, cared for by his partner until the end and his relatives were present at his passing. Many AIDS victims had no lover to care for them, no relatives visited. Their hospital bed became their home and they died alone, buried in potters field as a number.
After I was diagnosed with AIDS in 1996, I went out and rented every movie I could find about AIDS...until I came across this one. I was too afraid to watch it at that time. It seemed too real. 15 years later I finally got up the courage to watch it and it broke my heart. I was right. I could not have watched it earlier so soon after my own disgnoses. I have since been able to watch it that one time only.
Your comment is quite important to me. At the time the film came out, the New York People With AIDS Coalition newsletter said "...whatever you do, don't avoid it". You watched it when you were ready, and I thank you for your courage. People in the West don't die that way anymore, thanks to activism and science. If you haven't already seen it, I'd strongly recommend "How to Survive a Plague". I wish you health and serenity.
I don't quite know how to explain this but there is just something very familiar & dreamlike about this movie & oddly comforting too. It feels like Tom & Mark have always been a part of my life & certain scenes & musical motifs send me to a very moonlit state of mind. 2 beautiful people who made a beautiful film, god bless their courage, their strength & their care for the audience against enormous odds. I love you Tom & Mark
My son was born in 1993 and grew up never knowing the absolute crippling terror of this tragic disease. This film is essential to conveying the true horror of HIV/AIDS to a generation who believes they are not at risk. I wonder if Tom and Mark had any idea that this film would reach and impact so very many people. Thank you Mr Friedman for gifting Tom and Mark to us all.
a quiet example of how mundane life leading up to death is and I mean this with the utmost of respect. Death happens and could not have been better portrayed than this documentary. Not polished edit or quality wise which makes it an even better example of how we deal with loved ones illness's. They so obviously love and are in love with each other and if nothing else is a display of commitment and strength to each other. Thank you for this doco, I think I am a better person from having watched it. Sleep easy Kings
Was AIDS and Freddie Mercury's death that made me get into medicine, seeing this is sobering when you think how far we've came that there are now people who actively seek the "gift". Only recently seen the epilogue showing what happened to Mark, such a shame, could hardly recognise the guy.
I lost my uncle before ever getting to meet him. He died in '83 in San Francisco. So thankful how far we have come with this disease. This documentary is so important to not forget where we came from, as well as the beauty that still exists even in the most tragic times of life. Thank you.
Their love was a beautiful as their AIDS was horrific. Beautiful souls, both. Also, on a personal note, my mother passed October 2020. Her ashes came to me in the very same black plastic box Mark opened with Toms ashes inside. "Some things never change", was my first thought. My second? "The only constant in life IS change." May the world we live in today be more loving, compassionate, accepting, and fearless tomorrow than it is today. May we all be a bit more like Tom and Mark. 🤟🏼
Thank you so much for posting this. They were beautiful, loving, inspiring people. I wish more people from my generation would see this. I can't thank you enough for allowing us to see their story. I hope that if there is an afterlife they are together.
Hiya. I hope your friend has all the help and love they need. I know you will be there for them. God bless to you and your friend. Sending love and strength to both of you from the UK x
This is one of the best documentaries on AIDS that I have ever seen. Tom was an excellent film maker. I wish I could have known the both of them back then. Such wonderful and loving people. Mark was outstandingly dedicated to caring for Tom and was brave to go the distance by himself after Tom’s passing. I am comforted to know that there was someone there for Mark in the end. This disease ravages the body and torments the soul. May Allah bless these two beautiful souls. I am grateful to you, Peter for making this available to us. I laughed and cried watching this. Fantastic. Thumbs up 👍☺️👌🏻
a very strong documentary that shows the best of a lover. its beautiful how loyal mark was with tom until (and even after) his death. I find this documentary by mistake, looking for information about aids in my country ( Chile) were in the last years we have a strong increase of this ilness, im glad to know that now AIDS is not "that" lethal like it was 30 years ago. I would like to know if this documentary have spanish subtitles in some of his editions. i think that would be exelent for educational porpuses ( i am teacher )
phew, it hit me right in the feels. Growing up in Russia, where "we don't have gays, sex or AIDS" this documentary was very educational and so heart-wrenching . thanks for uploading it
I just wish I could have been there to hold Tom's hand (as well as Mark's, one year later) during their final hour on this planet, to give them some comfort they deserved . They were kind people and will always be missed.
I regret that I wasn't there when my uncle passed of AIDS. My aunt was there and she held her brother as he let go. She was his main caregiver for a long time. She loved them. I miss him everyday. He died in 1993. I've actually surpassed the age that he died. It is so surreal to say the least.
Truly beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. To have someone who loves you no matter what gender is an amazing thing. There is too much hatred in the world. God bless everyone who has passed from this awful disease. May the angels be watching over them while they sleep. You will never be forgotten as your presence on earth was far too important. Take care everyone x
Thank you Peter for sharing the film. Like some of the commentators, I saw this film in the early 1990's, and since then, I have never forgotten. I know Tom and Mark are dancing and embracing each other. They demonstrated and lived love; they did it with courage and authenticity. Life well lived.
We must never forget how far we have gone and what people had to go through. Thanks so much for reminding us how lucky we are to live in a time where this virus is much more under control.
Its so horrible how Tom died. This is the reality of how it used to be. In the 90's they didn't know how to stop / treat muscle wasting. It was common that aids patients looked like concentration camp victims at the end stages of the disease.
I've had HIV for thirty-four years; I have seen my friends and acquaintances succumb to it and sometimes the guilt over surviving was nearly unbearable. But in 2002 I met the man I am now married to and who cares for me in ways I never thought I would have.
Wow this video hit me harder then I expected. This is so heartbreaking and hits so close to home. I am hiv negative but my partner is HIV positive and is undetectable. These men went through absolute hell and torture and this broke my heart.
@@peterfriedman7193 thank you for finishing and showing this video to the world I wish more people could see it. I am going to share it. But you are an amazing friend for doing what you have done to help these poor guys finish their dream to make this. God bless!
I’ve seen this film years ago and watch it once and a while. I had a dream about Tom. He was alive and thought you did a great job with the documentary.
Very powerfull love story... saw this movie in the Vista Theatre many many years ago, God, 1993... The dancing at the end...wow... This movie affected me deeply. Thanks for posting.
This movie has a profound impact on me. The first thing I did was text my mom and tell her I love her very much. I know I don't need to add this but I have seen hateful comments which is horrible. As a heterosexual man I may not be the best judge of this but I don't think I've ever seen a more profound film of love between two humans than I have in this video. Hauntingly beautiful, and tragically romantic. The courage of this couple is at a level I don't think I could ever match. Rest in peace Tom and Mark, and thank you for this video.
When I first saw this film and saw this scene with the father being upset that his son is gay and that everyone knows apparently, all I could see was his father's personal shame. There's a lot of shame in his face and his tone and it's not about his son it's about himself.
This is the best documentary video of all the videos I've watched on the killer disease of the 80's, very educational to the point and the love of these two people that we don't have today. Amazing and great story. Thank you! Mr. Friedman. I was so sad in the end but what I learned most from this video is facing death head on we are temporary residents of this planet it doesn't matter if a person is gay or straight.
This was heartbreaking to watch. I could only watch a little bit at a time before becoming overwhelmed. Both seemed like kind, gentle men. As to lose them at such a young age brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you, Tom and Mark, for a deeply informative and heartfelt look into your lives. I was diagnosed in 1996 at 25 and 28 years later still kicking, although I could stand to lose several pounds and my only real health problems are congenital or age related. Knock on wood, I'm doing pretty well at 52 years old.
Thank you, Nelson! Someone I don't know posted it a long time ago and my first impulse was to ask UA-cam to take it down - until I read the comments...
@@peterfriedman7193 One of the most powerful and moving films I've ever seen. As a scholar, I'd like like to find a way to bring this work to an academic audience in publications and conferences, but I would imagine that most insiders know a lot about it already.
Out of all the Documentaries on AIDS from the 80's and 90's, this one gets a A+. Well done. Very sad. Such a tragic. Very brave men. If you are not touched by this story, you are not human. R.I.P. Tom and Mark. I grew up in the 80's and AIDS was a frightening time.
I didn't know Tom Joslin and Mark Massi were celebrities. In fact, I had never heard of them till I watched this video. But this is an excellent documentary film. I wonder if it's on DVD. God rest both their souls.
wow!! how sweet and sad, two beautiful human beings.. how terrifying knowing that there was no treatment for AIDS and that they were running out of time....
Yes, there were a lot of terrified people back then, and many who suffered similar fates. There's a great, Oscar-nominated documentary (not mine) about how activism led to the life-saving treatments available today. You can find it streaming online in various places: "How to Survive a Plague". Thanks for comment.
Dear Mr. Friedman, I saw your film last year after it was recommended to me via tumblr and after watching „The age of AIDS“ and Lindsay Ellis video about rent (she talks a lot about aids and how it was and wasn't handled back then). I've been also reading „And the band played on“. Since I've been born in 1991 in Germany, I only read about AIDS in my Biology book ca. 2004 and saw a movie about a heamophilac boy with AIDS who was discriminated because of it. I couldn't grasp it when I was only 14. It wasn't transmitted via air, why where they so cruel? Only after I consumed all of the above media I could try to understand how it must have been. Just because it was not just a cookie cutter straight hindsight, but a view from those who where affected most and with all the struggles and truths about the gouvernments failures and personal stories instead. Your film in particular moved me beyond everything else on the list above, because it was so real, created not about, but with those affected and with their full consent. I'm so grateful, that you choose to upload the film to UA-cam yourself, so more people can experience the fates of your friends. And with them the fates of so many thousand people who were affected and even without hope still loved each other and stuck together. Thank you so much for this film. I hope some online media nowadays will pick it up again so more people will find out about your film and the life and death of your friends. Thanks so much! Lisa
People were afraid, and they had no idea how it was and was not transmitted. It was a great unknown, and no one wanted to risk getting it. You cannot judge people from the past from a modern perspective, it’s warped thinking.
There is a documentary you should watch called Patient Zero that kinda explains the misnomer and misattribution of gaetan dugas as patient zero. He wasn’t the person that spread it around North America as it was already here for quite sometime. He was actually patient O like the letter for out of California and Randy shilts (who wrote and the band plays on and his editorial) knew the zero designation would help get his point across about having to change behaviors in the gay community. It’s an important book in a lot of ways especially discussing the cdc and French responses to finding the HIV virus. But gaetan dugas was really vilified in the book
@@JL0ndonGaten was a victim to be sure, but he ender up like Typhoid Mary. He knew he had the disease, knew how to prevent spreading it...and ignored doctors and medical advice because he refuses to believe what he was being told. He definitely deserves to be called out for that.
I watch aids documentaries. Just to learn about ppl.And the virus how ppl was treated etc. And this is my 2nd time watching this I always tear up. After I watch freddie Mercury I always watch aids documentaries.Tom is hilarious helga lol with all our delicates 😂😂😂. Thank you Mark and Tom for sharing your love an life. Thank you For finish they story and presenting it to us. I appreciate it as a member of the lgbtq community.
I would exchange every bug chaser and giver to have had these men survive long enough to have benefitted from the meds we have today for it. R.I.P Chaps ❤️
It blows my mind that there is such a thing and people who wanna be bug chasers.This is a good example of how bad this world and society has gotten when people strive to become infected purposely, especially considering how horrible hiv/aids can be & who's to say the meds of today are guaranteed to work on every patient that gets them.Theres been plenty of history of medication becoming less and less effective so who's to say it couldn't happen with aids?? Such foolish people in this world.
There are so many incredible documentaries about the AIDS pandemic, but this is definitely the best. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.
I saw this film in the early 90s living in Los Angeles. It changed my life. I've never forgotten it and just alerted some screenwriters here in Santa Fe to it since one writer's film is about AIDS during the 1980s in the South. On a spiritual note, this was the first time I truly saw that our bodies are simply clothing for our souls. Love is love is love is love.
This is one of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen. Amazing work and it really brings the horrifying suffering these poor men suffered to the worlds attention. I have not seen ‘we were here’ as of yet but it looks Tom or Mark is in it, is that correct?
Thank you. "We Were Here", a very good film about San Francisco, used a very brief clip from Silverlake (with my permission) but they don't appear as Mark & Tom, more as generic AIDS sufferers.
@@peterfriedman7193 I look forward to watching ‘we were here’. I doubt it will be as brilliant as Silverlake life. Thank you for the amazing work you have done on this. I will recommend this to everyone I know
@@peterfriedman7193 no problem Peter. I actually watched ‘we were here’ last night for the first time. I really enjoyed it but it is nowhere near as good as ‘silverlake life’ 👍🏻
It strange I thought my mom would accept my being gay however it was my father who said to my crying mother....are you really surprised Diane? I realized later she lost her brother and my uncle to AIDS and was just scared for me. I never forget the many gay men and others who fought so bravely against this epidemic so that others might live.
I've watched this a bunch of times and it's so heart breaking. This and Robert's story are the most honest portrayals of HIV/AIDS I've seen. Horrible cruel disease that still effects so many and hasn't gone away just because we have better medication to treat it. Never forget those who died. ❤
I don’t mean to keep showing up in these comment sections (lol) but This was in my UA-cam Recommendations. It’s also a reminder to do something I should have done last year (like and subscribe)! I find the film quite intriguing for so many different reasons! I love how despite persecution and ridicule and especially by the people who should have loved them unconditionally Mark and Tom were there for each other through all their trials and tribulations! I mean I’ve seen a lot of love stories but nothing like this! I also noticed that Mark clearly knew that Tom’s family did not approve of him whatsoever and that didn’t exactly help improve his self esteem (Mark frequently mentioned Suicide)...but he stood firm as Tom’s rock! Right up to the very end and beyond! Also I should mention that Tom’s parents really remind me of a lot of the older members of my family. They’re all passed on now but their morals and standards were thrown upon everyone...And if you didn’t obey their cookie cut out lifestyle ( The Men are tough,Play football,Serve their country and love beer And the women clean the house,raise the children and cook the meatloaf) then automatically you were “Queer”! A derogatory term I hate to use but pictures can’t be painted without true colors. So when I say I can somewhat relate to this film..I really mean it! Plus on a positive note I love old film footage ! I was born in New York in 1977 and the older I get the more looking back I do ! I find that nostalgia is one of the purest forms of euphoria and I’m always chasing that dragon! In closing I promise this will be the longest comment you’ll ever have to read from me but consider it “fan mail”! If I ever meet someone with an open mind and a heart with the ability to love and accept unconditionally I’ll recommend this film! Unfortunately I only seem to know airheads and alpha males ! But anyway...Many blessing upon you and whoever else got stuck reading this long winded comment! I wish for you all the good I wish for myself and Thank you again for the wonderful film! Jason White
@@jasonwhite7452 always remember there has never been any such thing as the good old days that only existed for people who chose to ignore social injustices of the less fortunate
I have watched this so many times over the years, and it is still one of the most powerful documentary I have watched. I often wonder about Mark. I am presuming he has passed too but would love an update ❤️
How is is ever ok to let a human suffer and waste away like Mark and Tom did?? To see what they went through is horrific and so sad. May they Rest In Peace.
I'm glad I dont live in the states . Maybe things have improved over there, what do I know but I'm in the uk & I dont think unless you're in a care home, you wouldn't be allowed to die like that here . You would taken to a hospital and given all the comfort & help to help you pass more peacefully. .
I knew Aids did a lot on your body and mentally (i was always interested (in the Netherlands we had an dutch singer (Rene Klijn and he was on a tv show to talk about the disease which he had (look it up paul de Leeuw and Rene Klijn its dutch , I was 7 or 8 when i saw it and was very moved about it, later i became fan of Queen and learned about Freddie Mercuries final years .. but with this documentary wow.. gave me chills (it is very good best one i guess ) , if people wishing eachother aids I would say they must watch this documentary... you wouldnt wish your worst enemy this disease .. (especially when there,s almost no treatment like back then...
@@freddiem1963 How much more “peacefully” would you like him to die? It looked to me like he was in his own bed and couldn’t be more peaceful to me. Believe it or not but some people don’t want to die in an institution,I can’t imagine anything more unpeaceful. If you remember in the documentary the doctor mentioned hospice and Tom didn’t want to go in hospice. Death is an ugly experience and it looks to me Tom died at home,in his own bed and it was peaceful and quiet. I’m so glad I don’t liv in the UK where you are made to die in an institution surrounded by people you don’t know and machines and whatnot. No I’m sure Tom went out just like he wanted to, in his own bed and quietly surrounded by his lover Matt.
Peter,Just dropping by to wish you Happy Holidays and May your new year ahead be filled with unexpected blessings! A reply to one of my comments brought me back to this but all along I never forgot this experience! Happy Holidays to you,your family and colleagues! Last but certainly not least to the memory of Tom and Mark ! You two were truly angels on earth! Your love is truly what life,peace and heaven is all about and I pray for you every blessing God has to give!
The human love and kindness that saturates this raw documetary, has me in awe of these two😢❤ So much can be learned from them and their take on life. May they both rest in peace🙏
Its crazy I was thinking the same while watching this . It's really sad what they homosexuals had to go through back then it's one thing they we're judge ny society but there families?most of these men die alone. I really enjoyed this short film its teaches alot and Mark and Tom are true heroes
@@oraclegoddess3573 hi Yes i enjoyed so much i watched it 3x its just mind blowing viewing . Poor guys i just wanted to hug them . Elton John said he saw freddy like that day before his death . Every time i sed freddy i just stare and feel so bad for him.
thank you for uploading (and helping create!) this, it breaks my heart to see all the homophobic people in the comments completely missing the point :(
How sad that millions of people world wide have died due to this horrible virus. Just think of where all of these people would be doing now had they not died. I think of things like that.
@peterfriedman7193 Is Black Star available anywhere to watch? I think saw that it was released in theaters in 2022? I'd really like to see it. I'm a graduate student in film studying documentary. Thank you!
I think about this documentary at least once a month since it was uploaded. I want you to know that this documentary has profoundly impacted the way I view my life and how I choose to continue living it. I don't think I realized how much I wanted to live until I also saw how much I had to lose. I wish Tom and Mark were here, even if it meant never knowing their story in the first place. Thank you for finishing this piece.
I really want to thank you for the final scene with them dancing together and the music playing. I think that was the most simple yet perfect way to end the documentary. I think many of us younger folks, don't realize how much of pandemic AIDS really was and how it couldve been prevented when it was instead ignored by the government. Going through the COVID-19 Pandemic currently, working in health care as a millennial and seeing how terribly it has pushed the limits of what we call family, loss of family, and society is probably a glimpse of what was going on back then but on a different scale. Through all the pain and adversity and ultimately the pain of inevitable loss they were both suffering from ... there was still that last glimpse that there were happier times, and just because we lose people or lose the one's we love the happier times.. don't stop being happy times. There's still life to be lived.
Peter Friedman no thank you sir. I remember going to ShootNYC ; a guy talked about the importance of photography and videography and how it can impact moments of our lives; his mother took a pic of him and his brothers on the bed with their father a week later his father died in a car accident.Truly, heartbreaking. What you did was share someone’s final moments in and in turn giving them a different ending and proving that art can give life to those that have physically left us.
Wow When I saw this documentaire film that I watched, because I stumbled across it, for the first time a few months ago I was completely speechless. I had never experienced anything like this. I had never seen a documentary film like this. It's an incredible powerfull and touching. I had the feeling that through this film you really get to know these two men. You can really feel the love these two men had for each other. It's really painful to see the deterioration of Tom 's health and also ofcourse Mark's health. You watch the film and you still hope they will get better. but unfortunately that doesn't happen. Ofcourse I know what aids is and what happened in the 80's and 90's but this is the first time that I could see what the consequences of hiv/aids on a person were especially before the time there were meds that really helped. I'm 21 years old so I never lived through these horrendous times. I'm actually grateful that I was able to see this film. So thank you for the person who posted this film on UA-cam. More people should watch this documentary film. Sorry for my English (it isn't my first language , I'm from Belgium)
Your English is better than that of many native speakers. I'm glad you didn't have to live through those awful times, seeing 20, 40, 50 friends and countless more acquaintances dead and dying. This disease not only killed people, but also shortened the creative, productive legacies of so many. 😥
This documentary is the most raw,naken,funny ,beautiful and loving story about a couple dealing with aids. Their love and support for each other was so beautiful. Rest easy Tom and Mark your story is so important and eye opening ❤❤.Thanks to mister Friedman for putting their story together and share it here. ❤Thanks to mister Joslin and Massi for filming and showing the raw reality of Aids ❤❤
Peter Friedman - did Mark have someone with him to care for him as he got increasingly sick? I’m pretty haunted about that because his care of Tom was so loving and wonderful. I can only hope and pray that he had similar attention. X One of those things that really touched me during this video was the pleasure that Tom and Mark got out of Massage and being able to be in the water. Gosh if only this could have been a more regular thing for them. (A little bit shocked about the T-shirt thing…!). An outstanding documentary of love and devotion. I am humbled.
Thank you for your beautiful comment. Mark was, of course, more alone than Tom was, but he did have a few friends who helped him and he relied on AIDS service organizations.
@@peterfriedman7193 Thank you Peter - I was terribly moved at the love and devotion between this couple, and I’m glad that Mark had support and love at the end. I was interested to note that footage from Silverlake appeared in the film We Were Here which we watched last night! Thank you, Peter for providing this historical ‘document’ which is so important and so educative too. X
You missed the point. There was no cure or treatment, so they tried everything out of desperation. You would too. That "healing lady" did what she could for free. Doctors with nothing better to offer charged them a lot.
@@peterfriedman7193 I take my thing back about my earlier assumptions, it was for free :( I hope she intrusted another person to help, or the new person is doing another holistic approach,
@@peterfriedman7193 I get the point. What I'm saying is that "healing lady" is a scam! I see a lot of them here in LA. They know they can't help people.
I was given an opportunity to say many important things that needed to be said when I completed it in 1993. I'm gratified and sometimes a bit surprised that and it's still in active distribution worldwide, and that I am still getting comments like yours - which mean quite a lot to me. So, I thank you, too.
Ive just been diagnosed with progressive m.s. I come back to this documentary because the strength of these 2 men show in this. They teach me that no matter what u have to keep living your life. When i found out it had progressed so much in my legs i could no longer walk. With watching this film iam happy to tell u guys iam learning to walk again. I went from the wheelchair to now a walker. Hopefully in a year i will be walking with a cane. THANKYOU GUYS SOOO MUCH FOR THIS FILM IT HAS HELP ME SO MUCH. When u have a disease with no cure where they tell u tou will never work again its devastating. TOM AND MARK I HOPE U GUY KNOW JUST HOW AMAZING U WERE. ITS 2023 AND YOU GUYS ARE STILL HELPING PPL THROUGH YOUR ART. RIP BOYS YOU ARE VERY MISSED.❤❤❤
Sorry to hear love I wish you all the best love and prayers from county Kerry Ireland. If you ever need to talk I'm here. I died for 4 minutes from an od and there is a heaven I had several and only when I died that happened.
I was a student at Hampshire College in the late 1970s when Tom was a film teacher there. He and Mark ate in the student dining commons, and always sat at a large round table that seated about 10 people. An eclectic mix of students would always fill out their table.
Tom and Mark's energy, their inclination toward open self-examination, drove the endless conversation and laughter and engagement at that table. Their engagement, at meals and throughout the day, served as a vehicle for so many others to explore and learn about themselves. As a teacher, Tom was a good-spirited, unassuming steward of a journey through life...our journeys through life. It was so right that they took their places among students at those tables, as peers in a circle. By being relatively further along in their own journeys than the students, they modeled the richness of a deep dive into life. They made it so easy for students to come with their own baggage and still comfortably take a place in the circle, in the discussion, in the journey, to explore. The dynamic was remarkable.
(They remind me to laugh at how ugly we look when stripped naked, and yet we are somehow rendered beautiful by an injection of love.)
I miss my friend Steve Seely. I lost him in 91.
What a great tribute to them and memory. I was born in 1988, so I'm way too young to remember the AIDS crisis much, but I found this documentary last year and it is one of the most emotionally touching that I've ever seen. May they both rest in peace
Wonder how they both contacted it if they were together for 22 years?
@@Chase-b5t I recently got in an argument with someone that said it's no different coming out now than it was in 1990 when I came out. I was like, are you serious!??? You've got to be joking. Coming out in the 90's was like a death sentence. Gay men were looked at like pariahs. Of course, he's in his 20's, so I can't fault him for not knowing. Thank God films like this exists so people remember what it was really like.
@@westindiesgalfruits2335 they probably had 3 some or unfaithful. ..b.t.w, no judgement
I just watched this. It was probably the most powerful documentary I have ever seen; I'm so glad these moments were preserved on film. This documentary is a testament to Tom and Mark's love for each other, a love which was as good as any couples and stronger than most.
Couldn't agree more. A raw, faithful look at how the two of them stuck together through thick and thin. Beautiful
Mr. Friedman,
I know you’ve heard similar things many times over the years, but I have to let you know what profound affect this film has had on me. You, Tom and Mark are heroes. Their selfless acts of courage and bravery in the face of this terrible disease are unbelievable. The way these 2 wonderful men chose to show what AIDS did to people in a time when the disease was still very misunderstood is heroic. I’ll never forget the first time I watched this. It changed me. Not because I’m a happily married, straight man who was homophobic. Because I’ve never been homophobic, I guess homosexuality was just never a part of my life in any way so I didn’t know much or understand it. Now I do and I can say with clarity that true love can exist this way and Tom and Mark showed me that through this film. Their love for one another was beautiful and the battle they fought together was courageous. It shows that no matter what your opinions are nobody deserved to die this way. I’ve watched it a few times now and each time it has that same profound affect on me. It’s just as important today as it was then. You did an incredible job finishing it and did Tom and Mark very well. I’m sure they are proud looking down on you. Although we’ve come a long way in the war against AIDS, the fight is not over. More people need to realize that. It may not be the “death sentence” it once was, but people are still sick and there’s no true cure. I hope that new generations of people will still see this film and know about Tom and Mark. Because they deserve it and the world needs it. Thanks for this Mr. Friedman
You are correct when you say that I've heard similar things many times over the years, but what you may or may not know is that documentary filmmaking is generally not very rewarding: the films attract small audiences and most filmmakers must constantly fundraise (no fun) and take teaching jobs to make ends meet. What makes all that worthwhile is comments like yours. I'm glad you appreciate the film. Please don't underestimate the value of what you have given me in return. Thank you.
@@peterfriedman7193 i feel exactly the same. The amount of courage u and they all put together is so incredible that it s...beyond words for me. Except thank you. Years later, when i m about to give up hope in humanity, i think about stories like their and others i knew in the beginning of 90s...
To me who has seen a lot of human rights fights these 35 past years, it still is the most impressive example of what human beings can be and do at their best. Thank you so much for having filmed and shared these memories we all need to see, gay or straight, to believe in love and...courage is not enough to describe this and what happened then, and how...
Perhaps more people can understand and realize now, after covid, the incredible amount of courage it took to go through that hell, fighting this terrible disease and public despise and phobia at the same time. Terrifying. Impressive example for ever, for everyone with a brain and heart.
Love and deeep respect from across the world, for this.
Tom was one of the lucky ones, cared for by his partner until the end and his relatives were present at his passing.
Many AIDS victims had no lover to care for them, no relatives visited. Their hospital bed became their home and they died alone, buried in potters field as a number.
True, and tragic.
I wonder who took care of Mark :(
After I was diagnosed with AIDS in 1996, I went out and rented every movie I could find about AIDS...until I came across this one. I was too afraid to watch it at that time. It seemed too real. 15 years later I finally got up the courage to watch it and it broke my heart. I was right. I could not have watched it earlier so soon after my own disgnoses. I have since been able to watch it that one time only.
Your comment is quite important to me. At the time the film came out, the New York People With AIDS Coalition newsletter said "...whatever you do, don't avoid it". You watched it when you were ready, and I thank you for your courage. People in the West don't die that way anymore, thanks to activism and science. If you haven't already seen it, I'd strongly recommend "How to Survive a Plague". I wish you health and serenity.
Thank you for your kind words. I have seen How to Survive A Plague and I found it to be fascinating. The Normal Heart is another great one.
@@rickovery Yes.
You are a very strong person. Thank you so much for telling your story😉
@@tiffanydame7172 Thank you!
I don't quite know how to explain this but there is just something very familiar & dreamlike about this movie & oddly comforting too. It feels like Tom & Mark have always been a part of my life & certain scenes & musical motifs send me to a very moonlit state of mind. 2 beautiful people who made a beautiful film, god bless their courage, their strength & their care for the audience against enormous odds. I love you Tom & Mark
I actually feel the same.😢
@@denisecalderon6408 perhaps Tom & Mark will visit us in our dreams Denise?
My son was born in 1993 and grew up never knowing the absolute crippling terror of this tragic disease. This film is essential to conveying the true horror of HIV/AIDS to a generation who believes they are not at risk. I wonder if Tom and Mark had any idea that this film would reach and impact so very many people. Thank you Mr Friedman for gifting Tom and Mark to us all.
Thank you very much for your comment.
a quiet example of how mundane life leading up to death is and I mean this with the utmost of respect. Death happens and could not have been better portrayed than this documentary. Not polished edit or quality wise which makes it an even better example of how we deal with loved ones illness's. They so obviously love and are in love with each other and if nothing else is a display of commitment and strength to each other. Thank you for this doco, I think I am a better person from having watched it. Sleep easy Kings
Was AIDS and Freddie Mercury's death that made me get into medicine, seeing this is sobering when you think how far we've came that there are now people who actively seek the "gift".
Only recently seen the epilogue showing what happened to Mark, such a shame, could hardly recognise the guy.
I lost my uncle before ever getting to meet him. He died in '83 in San Francisco. So thankful how far we have come with this disease. This documentary is so important to not forget where we came from, as well as the beauty that still exists even in the most tragic times of life. Thank you.
Their love was a beautiful as their AIDS was horrific. Beautiful souls, both. Also, on a personal note, my mother passed October 2020. Her ashes came to me in the very same black plastic box Mark opened with Toms ashes inside. "Some things never change", was my first thought. My second? "The only constant in life IS change." May the world we live in today be more loving, compassionate, accepting, and fearless tomorrow than it is today. May we all be a bit more like Tom and Mark. 🤟🏼
Thank you so much for posting this. They were beautiful, loving, inspiring people. I wish more people from my generation would see this. I can't thank you enough for allowing us to see their story. I hope that if there is an afterlife they are together.
This documentary brought me to tears.
I just hope Mark got the same kind of attention and care during his last days. But somehow I doubt it. 😓💔
This is an amazing story. Thank you for this. A friend of mine was just diagnosed about a year ago. So many lost.
Hiya. I hope your friend has all the help and love they need. I know you will be there for them. God bless to you and your friend. Sending love and strength to both of you from the UK x
This is one of the best documentaries on AIDS that I have ever seen. Tom was an excellent film maker. I wish I could have known the both of them back then. Such wonderful and loving people. Mark was outstandingly dedicated to caring for Tom and was brave to go the distance by himself after Tom’s passing. I am comforted to know that there was someone there for Mark in the end. This disease ravages the body and torments the soul. May Allah bless these two beautiful souls. I am grateful to you, Peter for making this available to us. I laughed and cried watching this. Fantastic. Thumbs up 👍☺️👌🏻
a very strong documentary that shows the best of a lover. its beautiful how loyal mark was with tom until (and even after) his death. I find this documentary by mistake, looking for information about aids in my country ( Chile) were in the last years we have a strong increase of this ilness, im glad to know that now AIDS is not "that" lethal like it was 30 years ago. I would like to know if this documentary have spanish subtitles in some of his editions. i think that would be exelent for educational porpuses ( i am teacher )
ua-cam.com/video/l1n5DRT7yKc/v-deo.html
A documentary that should be watched today by the younger generation. Never forget!!
AGREED!
phew, it hit me right in the feels.
Growing up in Russia, where "we don't have gays, sex or AIDS" this documentary was very educational and so heart-wrenching .
thanks for uploading it
Good on you for opening your mind x
Lol how Ironic considering the amount of gay porn that comes out of Russia.
I've seen this soo many times and each time I notice something new.
They made a great couple
I just wish I could have been there to hold Tom's hand (as well as Mark's, one year later) during their final hour on this planet, to give them some comfort they deserved . They were kind people and will always be missed.
I regret that I wasn't there when my uncle passed of AIDS. My aunt was there and she held her brother as he let go. She was his main caregiver for a long time. She loved them. I miss him everyday. He died in 1993. I've actually surpassed the age that he died. It is so surreal to say the least.
Truly beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. To have someone who loves you no matter what gender is an amazing thing. There is too much hatred in the world. God bless everyone who has passed from this awful disease. May the angels be watching over them while they sleep. You will never be forgotten as your presence on earth was far too important. Take care everyone x
Thank you Peter for sharing the film. Like some of the commentators, I saw this film in the early 1990's, and since then, I have never forgotten. I know Tom and Mark are dancing and embracing each other. They demonstrated and lived love; they did it with courage and authenticity. Life well lived.
Three minutes in and I’m crying Thankyou for sharing
I keep watching this just to see mark dancing , it makes me feel better , yes mark I’ll take your heart ❤️ away xx
Great comment! I see the dance as defying death.
Such a beautiful documentary, Tom and Mark - wish we could've met. Such beautiful people, you two.
We must never forget how far we have gone and what people had to go through.
Thanks so much for reminding us how lucky we are to live in a time where this virus is much more under control.
Superb, Peter. Thank you so much for posting this.
What a heavy and haunting but beautiful watch... thanks for sharing this.
Its so horrible how Tom died. This is the reality of how it used to be. In the 90's they didn't know how to stop / treat muscle wasting. It was common that aids patients looked like concentration camp victims at the end stages of the disease.
I've had HIV for thirty-four years; I have seen my friends and acquaintances succumb to it and sometimes the guilt over surviving was nearly unbearable. But in 2002 I met the man I am now married to and who cares for me in ways I never thought I would have.
Thank you for your kind comment. I am glad you found love and serenity.
Rip Tom and Mark😢you guys didn't deserve this at all
Wow this video hit me harder then I expected. This is so heartbreaking and hits so close to home. I am hiv negative but my partner is HIV positive and is undetectable. These men went through absolute hell and torture and this broke my heart.
They did indeed go through absolute hell and torture but fortunately that was another era (1989) and things have changed, a lot, as you surely know.
@@peterfriedman7193 thank you for finishing and showing this video to the world I wish more people could see it. I am going to share it. But you are an amazing friend for doing what you have done to help these poor guys finish their dream to make this. God bless!
@@LanceLouis7008 Thanks for sharing, watching, and your generous comment.
Absolutely devastating. Beautiful and heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I’ve seen this film years ago and watch it once and a while.
I had a dream about Tom. He was alive and thought you did a great job with the documentary.
Amazing documentary. Mark and Tom live on. Thank you for sharing.
Very powerfull love story... saw this movie in the Vista Theatre many many years ago, God, 1993... The dancing at the end...wow... This movie affected me deeply. Thanks for posting.
The Vista in LA? I was there! Thanks for your comment!
This movie has a profound impact on me. The first thing I did was text my mom and tell her I love her very much. I know I don't need to add this but I have seen hateful comments which is horrible. As a heterosexual man I may not be the best judge of this but I don't think I've ever seen a more profound film of love between two humans than I have in this video. Hauntingly beautiful, and tragically romantic. The courage of this couple is at a level I don't think I could ever match. Rest in peace Tom and Mark, and thank you for this video.
When I first saw this film and saw this scene with the father being upset that his son is gay and that everyone knows apparently, all I could see was his father's personal shame. There's a lot of shame in his face and his tone and it's not about his son it's about himself.
This is the best documentary video of all the videos I've watched on the killer disease of the 80's, very educational to the point and the love of these two people that we don't have today. Amazing and great story. Thank you! Mr. Friedman. I was so sad in the end but what I learned most from this video is facing death head on we are temporary residents of this planet it doesn't matter if a person is gay or straight.
Thank you for your kind comment.
When she told him to put his shirt on it broke my heart
This was heartbreaking to watch. I could only watch a little bit at a time before becoming overwhelmed. Both seemed like kind, gentle men. As to lose them at such a young age brought tears to my eyes.
You know you’re getting old when the medical equipment you recalled as cutting edge now looks antiquated.
Thank you, Tom and Mark, for a deeply informative and heartfelt look into your lives. I was diagnosed in 1996 at 25 and 28 years later still kicking, although I could stand to lose several pounds and my only real health problems are congenital or age related. Knock on wood, I'm doing pretty well at 52 years old.
At 1:14:28 Tom has said "hope that my friends feel good" not "doesnt feel good". Its amazing that at his state he thought about someone but himself
Prayers and Love I can't put my feelings into words.
Nice to see this on your Channel great work with this film.they would be very proud of you.
Thank you, Nelson! Someone I don't know posted it a long time ago and my first impulse was to ask UA-cam to take it down - until I read the comments...
Im so glad you didn’t; these two were like the gay parents I never had-and helped me come to grips with my own sexuality.
@@PainsofBlaine232 They did the same for me.
Thnx for posting this bt it broke my heart why is it that Tom and Marks family weren't around to care for them
@@peterfriedman7193 One of the most powerful and moving films I've ever seen. As a scholar, I'd like like to find a way to bring this work to an academic audience in publications and conferences, but I would imagine that most insiders know a lot about it already.
Out of all the Documentaries on AIDS from the 80's and 90's, this one gets a A+. Well done. Very sad. Such a tragic. Very brave men. If you are not touched by this story, you are not human. R.I.P. Tom and Mark. I grew up in the 80's and AIDS was a frightening time.
I've watched this documentary so many times I feel like I was friends with Tom and Mark. I love their love❤
I'm not gay but I feel mark pain and sorrow so heartbreaking
I didn't know Tom Joslin and Mark Massi were celebrities. In fact, I had never heard of them till I watched this video. But this is an excellent documentary film. I wonder if it's on DVD. God rest both their souls.
It's on dvd here www.docurama.com/docurama/silverlake-life-the-view-from-here/
wow!! how sweet and sad, two beautiful human beings.. how terrifying knowing that there was no treatment for AIDS and that they were running out of time....
Yes, there were a lot of terrified people back then, and many who suffered similar fates. There's a great, Oscar-nominated documentary (not mine) about how activism led to the life-saving treatments available today. You can find it streaming online in various places: "How to Survive a Plague". Thanks for comment.
Dear Mr. Friedman, I saw your film last year after it was recommended to me via tumblr and after watching „The age of AIDS“ and Lindsay Ellis video about rent (she talks a lot about aids and how it was and wasn't handled back then).
I've been also reading „And the band played on“.
Since I've been born in 1991 in Germany, I only read about AIDS in my Biology book ca. 2004 and saw a movie about a heamophilac boy with AIDS who was discriminated because of it.
I couldn't grasp it when I was only 14. It wasn't transmitted via air, why where they so cruel?
Only after I consumed all of the above media I could try to understand how it must have been. Just because it was not just a cookie cutter straight hindsight, but a view from those who where affected most and with all the struggles and truths about the gouvernments failures and personal stories instead.
Your film in particular moved me beyond everything else on the list above, because it was so real, created not about, but with those affected and with their full consent.
I'm so grateful, that you choose to upload the film to UA-cam yourself, so more people can experience the fates of your friends. And with them the fates of so many thousand people who were affected and even without hope still loved each other and stuck together.
Thank you so much for this film.
I hope some online media nowadays will pick it up again so more people will find out about your film and the life and death of your friends.
Thanks so much!
Lisa
People were afraid, and they had no idea how it was and was not transmitted. It was a great unknown, and no one wanted to risk getting it. You cannot judge people from the past from a modern perspective, it’s warped thinking.
There is a documentary you should watch called Patient Zero that kinda explains the misnomer and misattribution of gaetan dugas as patient zero. He wasn’t the person that spread it around North America as it was already here for quite sometime. He was actually patient O like the letter for out of California and Randy shilts (who wrote and the band plays on and his editorial) knew the zero designation would help get his point across about having to change behaviors in the gay community. It’s an important book in a lot of ways especially discussing the cdc and French responses to finding the HIV virus. But gaetan dugas was really vilified in the book
@@JL0ndonGaten was a victim to be sure, but he ender up like Typhoid Mary. He knew he had the disease, knew how to prevent spreading it...and ignored doctors and medical advice because he refuses to believe what he was being told. He definitely deserves to be called out for that.
A legacy of love and resilience. Overwhelmingly impressive. Thanks Mr. Friedman!
I watch aids documentaries. Just to learn about ppl.And the virus how ppl was treated etc. And this is my 2nd time watching this I always tear up. After I watch freddie Mercury I always watch aids documentaries.Tom is hilarious helga lol with all our delicates 😂😂😂. Thank you Mark and Tom for sharing your love an life. Thank you For finish they story and presenting it to us. I appreciate it as a member of the lgbtq community.
I love these two cry everytime I watch
I would exchange every bug chaser and giver to have had these men survive long enough to have benefitted from the meds we have today for it.
R.I.P Chaps ❤️
It blows my mind that there is such a thing and people who wanna be bug chasers.This is a good example of how bad this world and society has gotten when people strive to become infected purposely, especially considering how horrible hiv/aids can be & who's to say the meds of today are guaranteed to work on every patient that gets them.Theres been plenty of history of medication becoming less and less effective so who's to say it couldn't happen with aids?? Such foolish people in this world.
I love them. Rest easy boys. See you on the otherside
There are so many incredible documentaries about the AIDS pandemic, but this is definitely the best. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.
Watched for class, terribly frightening, horrifying beautiful....
I saw this film in the early 90s living in Los Angeles. It changed my life. I've never forgotten it and just alerted some screenwriters here in Santa Fe to it since one writer's film is about AIDS during the 1980s in the South. On a spiritual note, this was the first time I truly saw that our bodies are simply clothing for our souls. Love is love is love is love.
Couldn't have said it better
This is one of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen. Amazing work and it really brings the horrifying suffering these poor men suffered to the worlds attention. I have not seen ‘we were here’ as of yet but it looks Tom or Mark is in it, is that correct?
Thank you. "We Were Here", a very good film about San Francisco, used a very brief clip from Silverlake (with my permission) but they don't appear as Mark & Tom, more as generic AIDS sufferers.
@@peterfriedman7193 I look forward to watching ‘we were here’. I doubt it will be as brilliant as Silverlake life. Thank you for the amazing work you have done on this. I will recommend this to everyone I know
@@josephclarke645 Thank you Joseph!
@@peterfriedman7193 no problem Peter. I actually watched ‘we were here’ last night for the first time. I really enjoyed it but it is nowhere near as good as ‘silverlake life’ 👍🏻
It strange I thought my mom would accept my being gay however it was my father who said to my crying mother....are you really surprised Diane? I realized later she lost her brother and my uncle to AIDS and was just scared for me. I never forget the many gay men and others who fought so bravely against this epidemic so that others might live.
Hope you are well Daniel. Have a lovely Christmas and New Year. Love from the UK x
I've watched this a bunch of times and it's so heart breaking. This and Robert's story are the most honest portrayals of HIV/AIDS I've seen. Horrible cruel disease that still effects so many and hasn't gone away just because we have better medication to treat it. Never forget those who died. ❤
God bless Mark and Tom!
I don’t mean to keep showing up in these comment sections (lol) but This was in my UA-cam Recommendations. It’s also a reminder to do something I should have done last year (like and subscribe)! I find the film quite intriguing for so many different reasons! I love how despite persecution and ridicule and especially by the people who should have loved them unconditionally Mark and Tom were there for each other through all their trials and tribulations! I mean I’ve seen a lot of love stories but nothing like this! I also noticed that Mark clearly knew that Tom’s family did not approve of him whatsoever and that didn’t exactly help improve his self esteem (Mark frequently mentioned Suicide)...but he stood firm as Tom’s rock! Right up to the very end and beyond! Also I should mention that Tom’s parents really remind me of a lot of the older members of my family. They’re all passed on now but their morals and standards were thrown upon everyone...And if you didn’t obey their cookie cut out lifestyle ( The Men are tough,Play football,Serve their country and love beer And the women clean the house,raise the children and cook the meatloaf) then automatically you were “Queer”! A derogatory term I hate to use but pictures can’t be painted without true colors. So when I say I can somewhat relate to this film..I really mean it! Plus on a positive note I love old film footage ! I was born in New York in 1977 and the older I get the more looking back I do ! I find that nostalgia is one of the purest forms of euphoria and I’m always chasing that dragon! In closing I promise this will be the longest comment you’ll ever have to read from me but consider it “fan mail”! If I ever meet someone with an open mind and a heart with the ability to love and accept unconditionally I’ll recommend this film! Unfortunately I only seem to know airheads and alpha males ! But anyway...Many blessing upon you and whoever else got stuck reading this long winded comment! I wish for you all the good I wish for myself and Thank you again for the wonderful film! Jason White
Jason , Comments like yours are not only the reasons my films are on UA-cam , they also remind me why I make films in the first place. Thank you.
Courageous those who are able think for themselves and break the mold keep that mindset blessings to you as well
@@leeanndap7020 Thank you 🙏
@@jasonwhite7452 you're welcome keep being your own person🙏🏽🙇🏾
@@jasonwhite7452 always remember there has never been any such thing as the good old days that only existed for people who chose to ignore social injustices of the less fortunate
I have watched this so many times over the years, and it is still one of the most powerful documentary I have watched. I often wonder about Mark. I am presuming he has passed too but would love an update ❤️
july 91
Mark passed about a year after Tom. There’s an epilogue on this channel for the update
The epilogue is here ua-cam.com/video/BqQWnXLISjk/v-deo.html
How scary knowing what's gonna come....
How is is ever ok to let a human suffer and waste away like Mark and Tom did?? To see what they went through is horrific and so sad. May they Rest In Peace.
I'm glad I dont live in the states . Maybe things have improved over there, what do I know but I'm in the uk & I dont think unless you're in a care home, you wouldn't be allowed to die like that here . You would taken to a hospital and given all the comfort & help to help you pass more peacefully. .
And not to mention that the new drugs for hiv and aids weren't available back then .so sad ..
I knew Aids did a lot on your body and mentally (i was always interested (in the Netherlands we had an dutch singer (Rene Klijn and he was on a tv show to talk about the disease which he had (look it up paul de Leeuw and Rene Klijn its dutch , I was 7 or 8 when i saw it and was very moved about it, later i became fan of Queen and learned about Freddie Mercuries final years .. but with this documentary wow.. gave me chills (it is very good best one i guess ) , if people wishing eachother aids I would say they must watch this documentary... you wouldnt wish your worst enemy this disease .. (especially when there,s almost no treatment like back then...
@@freddiem1963 How much more “peacefully” would you like him to die? It looked to me like he was in his own bed and couldn’t be more peaceful to me. Believe it or not but some people don’t want to die in an institution,I can’t imagine anything more unpeaceful. If you remember in the documentary the doctor mentioned hospice and Tom didn’t want to go in hospice. Death is an ugly experience and it looks to me Tom died at home,in his own bed and it was peaceful and quiet. I’m so glad I don’t liv in the UK where you are made to die in an institution surrounded by people you don’t know and machines and whatnot. No I’m sure Tom went out just like he wanted to, in his own bed and quietly surrounded by his lover Matt.
Peter,Just dropping by to wish you Happy Holidays and May your new year ahead be filled with unexpected blessings! A reply to one of my comments brought me back to this but all along I never forgot this experience! Happy Holidays to you,your family and colleagues! Last but certainly not least to the memory of Tom and Mark ! You two were truly angels on earth! Your love is truly what life,peace and heaven is all about and I pray for you every blessing God has to give!
Thank you Tom, Mark and Peter. ❤
Thank you for creating this. That’s all I have to say. Shocking and heartbreaking for sure but extremely important
A tough but fascinating watch.Thanks for sharing x.
The human love and kindness that saturates this raw documetary, has me in awe of these two😢❤ So much can be learned from them and their take on life. May they both rest in peace🙏
Rest in peace you two!
Freddy I can't believe how much he must of suffered like Tom and mark its horrowing to watch .
Its crazy I was thinking the same while watching this .
It's really sad what they homosexuals had to go through back then it's one thing they we're judge ny society but there families?most of these men die alone. I really enjoyed this short film its teaches alot and Mark and Tom are true heroes
@@oraclegoddess3573 hi
Yes i enjoyed so much i watched it 3x its just mind blowing viewing .
Poor guys i just wanted to hug them .
Elton John said he saw freddy like that day before his death .
Every time i sed freddy i just stare and feel so bad for him.
Seeing Tom suffer at the end, he was in so much pain, it's like I want to reach thru the screen and take it away.. Perhaps morphine could have helped?
There’s a level of pain that not even a potentially fatal dose of opiates can numb.
More people need to see this. Its real, its honest and its poignant. Your story lives on, thank you all for living and sharing your stories
If you'd like more people to see it, then help us by sharing the link. Thanks.
Good bye sadness. Good bye TOM good bye MARK
I love Mark and Tom so much!! There is no greater love than theirs x
thank you for uploading (and helping create!) this, it breaks my heart to see all the homophobic people in the comments completely missing the point :(
How sad that millions of people world wide have died due to this horrible virus. Just think of where all of these people would be doing now had they not died. I think of things like that.
Just watched this very powerful i broke down when the ems asked for toms birthday and realized it was today 2 beautiful people god speed
Saw this film a while back and it broke my heart as tears were falling and God bless both of them
Holy fuck that scene just comes outta nowhere i was left in shock for a minute… rip to these brave souls
@peterfriedman7193 Is Black Star available anywhere to watch? I think saw that it was released in theaters in 2022? I'd really like to see it. I'm a graduate student in film studying documentary. Thank you!
Yes! Newly restored to 4K: vimeo.com/690199560/deabd31836?ts=0&share=copy
THEY REALLY LOVED EACHOTHER. THIS FILM IS AMAZING AND HEARTBREAKING AT THE SAME TIME.
I think about this documentary at least once a month since it was uploaded. I want you to know that this documentary has profoundly impacted the way I view my life and how I choose to continue living it. I don't think I realized how much I wanted to live until I also saw how much I had to lose. I wish Tom and Mark were here, even if it meant never knowing their story in the first place. Thank you for finishing this piece.
my heart broke watching this. thank goodness medication has come a long way . 🙌❣💔
I hope someone loved mark at the end of his life, as much as he loved Tom 💔🙏🏻 xx
I really want to thank you for the final scene with them dancing together and the music playing. I think that was the most simple yet perfect way to end the documentary. I think many of us younger folks, don't realize how much of pandemic AIDS really was and how it couldve been prevented when it was instead ignored by the government. Going through the COVID-19 Pandemic currently, working in health care as a millennial and seeing how terribly it has pushed the limits of what we call family, loss of family, and society is probably a glimpse of what was going on back then but on a different scale. Through all the pain and adversity and ultimately the pain of inevitable loss they were both suffering from ... there was still that last glimpse that there were happier times, and just because we lose people or lose the one's we love the happier times.. don't stop being happy times. There's still life to be lived.
What a great comment! Thank you.
Peter Friedman no thank you sir. I remember going to ShootNYC ; a guy talked about the importance of photography and videography and how it can impact moments of our lives; his mother took a pic of him and his brothers on the bed with their father a week later his father died in a car accident.Truly, heartbreaking. What you did was share someone’s final moments in and in turn giving them a different ending and proving that art can give life to those that have physically left us.
Wow When I saw this documentaire film that I watched, because I stumbled across it, for the first time a few months ago I was completely speechless. I had never experienced anything like this. I had never seen a documentary film like this. It's an incredible powerfull and touching. I had the feeling that through this film you really get to know these two men. You can really feel the love these two men had for each other. It's really painful to see the deterioration of Tom 's health and also ofcourse Mark's health. You watch the film and you still hope they will get better. but unfortunately that doesn't happen. Ofcourse I know what aids is and what happened in the 80's and 90's but this is the first time that I could see what the consequences of hiv/aids on a person were especially before the time there were meds that really helped.
I'm 21 years old so I never lived through these horrendous times. I'm actually grateful that I was able to see this film. So thank you for the person who posted this film on UA-cam. More people should watch this documentary film. Sorry for my English (it isn't my first language , I'm from Belgium)
Your English is fine. Thank you for comment! It's good to know the film can still speak to young people.
Your English is better than that of many native speakers. I'm glad you didn't have to live through those awful times, seeing 20, 40, 50 friends and countless more acquaintances dead and dying. This disease not only killed people, but also shortened the creative, productive legacies of so many. 😥
So beautiful..... Thank you.
Absolutely beautiful the love for one another is immense...
This documentary is the most raw,naken,funny ,beautiful and loving story about a couple dealing with aids. Their love and support for each other was so beautiful. Rest easy Tom and Mark your story is so important and eye opening ❤❤.Thanks to mister Friedman for putting their story together and share it here. ❤Thanks to mister Joslin and Massi for filming and showing the raw reality of Aids ❤❤
Thank you very much for your kind comment,
@@peterfriedman7193 Much welcome 💙
Peter Friedman - did Mark have someone with him to care for him as he got increasingly sick? I’m pretty haunted about that because his care of Tom was so loving and wonderful. I can only hope and pray that he had similar attention. X
One of those things that really touched me during this video was the pleasure that Tom and Mark got out of Massage and being able to be in the water. Gosh if only this could have been a more regular thing for them. (A little bit shocked about the T-shirt thing…!).
An outstanding documentary of love and devotion. I am humbled.
Thank you for your beautiful comment. Mark was, of course, more alone than Tom was, but he did have a few friends who helped him and he relied on AIDS service organizations.
@@peterfriedman7193 Thank you Peter - I was terribly moved at the love and devotion between this couple, and I’m glad that Mark had support and love at the end. I was interested to note that footage from Silverlake appeared in the film We Were Here which we watched last night! Thank you, Peter for providing this historical ‘document’ which is so important and so educative too. X
@@madoak5597 Yes "We Were Here" used a few shots with my permission. BTW The Silverlake Epilogue is here ua-cam.com/video/BqQWnXLISjk/v-deo.html
@@peterfriedman7193 great thank you. I’ll watch in a moment.
They are in heaven together.
I think so too.😢
Most probably not
@@grwth4722 explain yourself. Troll.
Wat u mean
Good night and god bless you bro
Great documentary, hope they are together at peace. Btw that healing lady at 8:00 killed the show lol
You missed the point. There was no cure or treatment, so they tried everything out of desperation. You would too. That "healing lady" did what she could for free. Doctors with nothing better to offer charged them a lot.
@@peterfriedman7193 I take my thing back about my earlier assumptions, it was for free :( I hope she intrusted another person to help, or the new person is doing another holistic approach,
@@peterfriedman7193 I get the point. What I'm saying is that "healing lady" is a scam! I see a lot of them here in LA. They know they can't help people.
@@davidkrausell1741 I think she was sincere, if ineffective. Scammers don't work for free.
Thank you mr Friedman for giving us the opportunity to see this naked and raw documentary again.
I was given an opportunity to say many important things that needed to be said when I completed it in 1993. I'm gratified and sometimes a bit surprised that and it's still in active distribution worldwide, and that I am still getting comments like yours - which mean quite a lot to me. So, I thank you, too.
Great American Love Story .That ended badly.
In the long run, don't they all? This one was worse than most, that's for sure.