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When Should You Define The Relationship?
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- Опубліковано 12 гру 2015
- Time to face the music.
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*"You Should Define The Relationship"* when neither of you know what the hell your relationship is :)
Buzzfeed need to hire you asap (I've subbed to your channel btw :) )
Buzzfeed need to hire you asap (I've subbed to your channel btw :) )
You must be the infamous Graphic Design Guy.. Hello there~ // ouo
Soravi I'm not sure about infamous, but this is indeed me :) Hello Soravi.
Matthew Sherriff Aww thanks for subbing to my channel, much appreciated :) I'm actually very happy with my job, but I would leave to become a *"Try Guy"*, haha XD
I've never had any type of relationship.
Same
+Adam Duong Rock Chic!
+Fuzzbucket stfu. if you act like this I'm pretty sure it's you that never will 😂
What about a symbiotic relationship with NATURE!
+MetalPhoenix13 no just no
the camera man needs to DTCA: define the camera angle.
right!
Ha!!
shut up
Oh shi-
i was really hoping this video would help me with my current situation.
nope, more confused. thanks buzzfeed. lol
+energeticfreakx Here's what you do. Do you want a relationship with this person? If yes, ask them. If the answer is no, then move on to someone that can give you what you need. "No" is not the end of the world.
+energeticfreakx Same! :S
SAME
SAME
yup, me too
the moment nutella touched my lips i knew we'd be together forever
That's what your mom said about me (¡)
Wyatt Robinson that's hilarious how long did it take you to come up with that?
I'm eating nutella right now omf the love is real
+Wyatt Robinson she must have been very disappointed
same tho
Thank you for not answering your own question. Helped me a lot thanks.
+TheCookieFlavaJAR haha Just do it when you feel you really, really want to. Life is weird, and it can work out or not work out. Either way, you'll never regret following your intuition and personal desires.
+Shelby Ivy That's deep :D and very true
you DTR BEFORE you sleep with someone. Saves time and feelings. On both sides. You don't get hurt, you don't hurt anyone. it's easy.
Graphic Design Guy will once be in a buzzfeed video. I just know. I'm certain.
+diy lover Haha even I'm not as sure as you are. Thanks for your support though, it's very much appreciated :)
Neferati I would love to compare you to someone else too, but I have no idea idea who you are so honestly do not care what negative things you have to say about me. Please go enjoy your league videos instead... :)
+Fuzzbucket true
+Graphic Design Guy You are very classy and civilised
+Reem Ismail Awww thank you Reem, I'm glad people still appreciate the civilised approach, even when dealing with the hoards of haters :)
My definition is chocolate and loneliness
also beer and sadness
+sofiesusi And Whisky. Never forget the Whisky... 'cause it never forgets you.
+Motoruven lol right
+Heyit'sIriam i'm allergic to chocolate tho so.. just loneliness lmao
DTR when you're done playing "games" with the other person and don't want to waste any more of your time that you've already invested into this potential relationship. No matter what the result, it's in your best interest to be up front about it instead of prolonging being in that in-between stage.
best time to dtr is when ur 65 with 12 grandchildren
Lol
Never really dealt with that. My husband and I just sort of started hanging out, basically on a daily basis, then one day very soon into it I asked him if I would be someone he could marry, he said yes, we married three months later. That was 15 years ago.
Freddie's hair is GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLSSSSS!!!
Defining the relationship can be tough, this is a right of passage for many couples to see where they stand, and what they want going forward.
I think it depends on the emotional and relational dynamics of the couple. For some couples, they may want to make things official after a month, then for others, they may be friends a very long time before considering courting or dating. It all depends on the dynamics of the relationship and the people involved.
I hate when people go from friend/acquaintance and then immediately jump to being boyfriend and girlfriend (or BF and BF, or GF and GF).
You wouldn't call someone you were out on a blind date with your BF/GF, would you?
Just because you knew the person at first, that does not mean you skip the dating stage. You have to date for a little while to see if it is comfortable before you move on to be boyfriend and girlfriend (or the other combos).
I'll let you know when I'm actually in a relationship. Lol
And now there's that whole other level of relationship where people stop using boyfriend/girlfriend and start saying partner.
I hate the people who constantly use the term "my significant other"...just say your bf or gf what's the deal?
+Laurahhh Some people don't like using the terms 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' because it feels juvenile, so they say 'partner' or 'significant other' instead. Additionally, people who have a non-binary gender often don't feel comfortable being referred to with gendered terms like 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'.
+melo13melo Oh my goodness yes! I once had a guy I know introduce me to his "life partner". I was like O.o...is she your girlfriend, fiance, or wife? Of course I didn't ask and now that I know them both, I know she is his girlfriend.
+melo13melo tbh I kinda like partner because it's gender neutral and it's really handy for sneaking tidbits about your romantic life into a conversation without completely outing yourself if you're in a same sex relationship. :'D For example, if I was dating a girl but was in my new workplace where im not sure about peoples stance on same sex relationships I could still get excited and mention 'my partner and i went to the beach on the weekend' and not accidentally get fired if my boss happened to be a homophobe and i used the phrase 'my girlfriend and i went to the beach on the weekend'.
+Dana Krasch (feelsallovertheplace) I actually like the term partner too. I don't know why but the idea of someone calling me their partner seems really endearing, but it also feels like you're saying "I'm practically married to this person". so it's one more term you have to figure out the right time to use. but yeah, it definitely is useful because of how neutral it is. even in straight relationships I think it can create a sense of equality. you're leaving out the sterotypes associated with male/female relationships and putting them on equal ground. if you're my partner you're my equal.
You DTR when one of you wants to spend time together for more than just "exercise" and usually that comes with feelings that you don't want that person to be with anyone else either. If you would rather be with them than with anyone else that's when you DTR.
when your sitting here single af
You know it's a relationship when it becomes Facebook official
no.
you should know before that.. Facebook shouldn't even be a thing
+Soraya Lia makes me sad that you can't see that was a joke 😂
+Chaos Burke omg I'm so sorry :'D
my sarcasm detecter must be broken ..
+Jack This is why I can't legally get married because my fiance doesn't use facebook!! He's basically a ghost! D:
LOL!!!!!
I cannot be the only one who rolled their eyes at this?
I had a crush on this guy in 8th grade, and we've seen each other a lot these days,
And I still have that crush on him, but he's always telling me about how cool our friendship is, because it's full of respect ect.. But sometimes he gets touchy with me. So, next time I'll see him, I think I'll DTR!
These girls are beautiful! :)
I'm just always blunt about what I want and how I feel about the situation. Usually makes defining the relationship a lot easier.
i dtr with like 90% of my friends just sort of explaining like "hey, youre hella attractive and if youre down, im down for being exclusive, a hook-up, dating whatever, but if youre not into that i understand and im not gonna pressure you into anything. also, if theres an off chance we drunkenly hookup and you dont want to take it further its totally okay and it wont affect our relationship as friends." or a variation of "i would hookup/date but youre already my friend and i want you in my life forever and because we are young and stupid there is a 95% chance we'll break up and things will change and i'd rather care about you as a friend for life than a girlfriend for a year or two"
I have so much faith in BuzzfeedViolet *purely* because of these little table talk things. They result in immeeeediate clicks as soon as i see a new one on the channel HAHA
Who else thinks that buzzfeed need to upload more on this channel?
when she starts dropping hints and you don't want her to see anyone else
Why must you zoom in and out like that, make me crazy...😂
0:14 is my favourite haha
One time, I went on a time and it turned into a hookup, and when the night was over, I asked if he wanted to hang out again, and he said yes. I texted him a few days later, and he said he was busy, and I didn't hear back from him. This is the closest I've gotten to a relationship and I'm 20.
From my point of view, its never complicated or hard to DTR when its with the right person (:
I was friends with this guy in high school and I didn't realize he had a crush on me until he asked me to homecoming (with the help of some of our other friends). He was so cute, and homecoming was really fun. We went out a few times and hung out a lot, even though we didn't really do anything that really defined our relationship as a romantic one.
One day, when he was giving me a ride home from school, we were joking about how terrible our navigation skills are. He mentioned that he'd told another one of his friends that his girlfriend literally counted the number of U-turns we've had to take to get to where we needed to be. It took me a few seconds to realize that by "girlfriend" he was referring to me. That made me feel kind of weird, but I liked it, and it made me feel better that we'd sort of gotten out of the "more than just-friends" phase.
I don't have any issue calling him my boyfriend now.
that face and that gesture.
Everyday, and it's always Forever Alone.
I DTR right away. I don't wanna feel something that the other person doesn't feel. im now engaged and I still kind DTR. when I was ready to move things along in our exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship I said so. I was clear about my expectations and my ideal time frame which put the ball in his court because he knew what I wanted.
I am so glad I've been in the same relationship since I was 15/16and now we are engaged at 21/ 22. Because I honestly don't know how I would handle dating and DTR now. He basically just asked me my FB password and gave me his, and then told me too look on my Facebook and he changed my status to "in a relationship with...." And I accepted. And let me tell you that we were also long distance for 4 years, starting at 15, but we saw eachother 4 times a year.
saf actually looks good in purple 😍
I think its best to dtr around 3-4 months after doing whatever you're doing. Because by then you should have interacted with them enough where you have an idea of who they are, if you have feelings for them, where you might want the relationship to go or if you want it to stay as is. And I like to be blunt about it just say "so i just wanna be straight with you, we have been doing x,y,z and I like it as is, or I am looking for something more. what do you want?" or "where do want this thing we are doing to go?"
So i told my ex we are friends with benefits not dating not exclusive and nor are we bf & gf & he broke up with me immediately & my bffs went up to him and said *DONT TREAT ARE GIRL LIKE THAT IF WE CATCH YOU SAYING THAT TO ANY GIRL/WOMEN IN THIS SCHOOL YOU WILL BE JUMPED BY US AND KEEP IN MIND WE WORK OUT EVERY OTHER DAY DONT MESS WITH US* he ran away and never spoke to us again
everything about that was amazing. 0:11
Why are you so complicated, you're dating, thats that. It's literally, "will you go out with me?" "yes." I now pronounce you gf and bf/gf or bf and bf/gf.
Well not necessarily. I mean, when you ask someone out on a date, that's asking to be on a trial of trying each other out, see if there's any possible way of it potentially progressing further into being an official couple. But that's just how I see it.
You are obivously too young and haven't been in enough relationships to know what you are talking about.
I don't really call 17 too young but okay.
+Epic ET Yeah it kinda is, at the age of 17 you haven't experienced a true relationship.
Calven Ferraro Epic ET I'd say it depends on how the relationship goes. I mean, 17 year olds can still experience the process of asking person out, going several months of just normal dating, then officially asking to be official. On top of that, teen love is always seen as skeptical, yet there are some of those successful ones that actually do end up marrying their highschool sweetheart. So yeah, in the end, it's just up to the personal experience. There will always be skeptical audiences in the dating world. They're too young, they're too different from another (different race, controversial age differences), or too similar (of same sex), etc etc. In the end, we just let them experience whatever they're doing because that's their life.
There's a difference between dating and bf/gf?
Yeah most people date multiple people at a time so that they can "play the field" so to speak. Once you figure which bachelor or bachelorette is the guy/girl for you, you can stop dating the other people and become that one person's bf/gf.
+Aryanna somethingIdk depends on where you are from i think.. where i live, there is no difference.. if you are dating (more than the first few dates of course) and it didn't stop it basically means you're not dating someone else, unless you tell the other person that you do..
+Aryanna somethingIdk Yeah, there's like dating/seeing someone, hooking up, friends with benefits, exclusively dating, bf/gf, long-term dating/partners, etc. It's so fucking convoluted.
+Linda Lemoni Where do you live?
Shelby, this is exactly what I'm afraid of. Tonight, I am embarking upon a "relationship hard drive defragging" conversation with somebody I'm "dating," since the signals I've gotten lately have been far and wide, from "would you make a baby with me?" to, "look at this silly conversation on my POF profile." Definitely time for me to take the temperature. Wish me luck.
that black chick is beautiful
My mom would say 'back in my day' 😂😂
It depends on the relationship, but I think exclusive and boyfriend-girlfriend is the same thing, it's nice to clear it out though. Last DTR I had, was me comenting "I never thought i'd have a boyfriend who lived in :city name:" and his answer was "so i'm your boyfriend" and from then on he asumed we were in a relationship and I kinda went along with it
idk, i've been in a long-distance thing for 5 months now and we call each other "mine" and stuff like that, but if he comes up in conversation i call him my "special friend". idk, but it's nice.
you should always define a relationship to set expectations
I am extremely patient. I waited him out. He defined the relationship as exclusive/BF-GF and I didn't have to LOL. Which for me the waiting was the worst. It only took him a year and a half...
Safiya's so GORGEOUS. I don't know this girl's name but SHES BEAUTIFUL.
Well, my first DTR was the time when I first had a hot pocket, then we took our relationship to the next level and I got a slice of pizza. Few years later, I now have a Whole Family Pizza all to myself. Yep, DTRs are a pizza cake, but it is worth it in the end. I'll always love you pizza, from my head, tomatoes. ♥
*Delicious*
*Treat*
*Really*
Dtr from my experience
"Dtr: crush"
"Then"
"That's the furthest I've gone into a relationship"
I usually am quite oblivious when they used to try and tell me that they want to be in a relationship with me...
I was too scared to assume and just change it because it would be weird...
I don't even think about it- I just kinda go along with it because I didn't really care at the time... Now I realize that they must have thought I wasn't into commitment or something... they're only half right.
So I was hooking up with this guy who lived downstairs, we got together a few times, but he kept going off seeing other girls, ignoring me when we were out, but coming back to me and hooking up at the end of the night after too many drinks.
I didn't really have feelings for him, but hooking up without a relationship was such an alien subject to me that I was kinda wanting more from it to stop myself from feeling guilty about it.
Eventually, one night he totally ignored me, wouldn't even look my way, didn't speak etc etc, so I confronted him about it and we talked it out.
He decided that he wasn't looking for any kind of commitment, our little thing wasn't going to go anywhere further than the occasional hookup, and he had no feelings.
I was cool with that, if a little bummed, and we settled on going back to being friends with the allowance of flirty banter and touching butts every so often.
Even though our DTR ended in the termination of our "relationship", it was still very relieving to know that we understood what each other wanted and what was going on between us.
Now I know that I don't need to constantly be thinking about him and how he feels because he's not thinking about me and how I feel.
Sometimes things just don't work out and that's okay.
LOL! I like the "hand art" she did! You go from friends to like "hand art" and then you go to boyfriend girlfriend.
When the fluttery feels come i kinda wanna know whot the other is looking for before I get my hopes up and/or my heart broken...
I guess I DTR in a positive way when I feel like I'll burst if I don't. If I'm not feeling it, I DTR right away and tell them so.
Friends-> a thing-> dating->together->bf/gf or gf/gf or bf/bf etc.
I'm in a relationship right now, our friend set us up so that we could be fwb and when we first met we knew it was gonna be way more. So we had a few dates over the course of about a week, and slept together then the next day he asked me to be his girlfriend, not if I wanted to date. But we do say we are dating, but we're also in a relationship where his toothbrush is at mine, I have food for him, he's moving to where I live soon, and we met each others friends.
Well, after 6 days he let the "I love you" slip and that pretty much sealed the deal. But I have to mention that we were friends before that for a long time, so we knew each other very well.
Freddie's hair 😭😍
I dtr right away. If I ask a girl out and she says yes, she is my gf
+Vance Corsey from the bottom of my heart i hope that's a joke
by and chance... are you in the 6th or 7th grade?
+Linda Lemoni same
Are you 13?
Nah, black don't crack
I'm always asking " what are we?" And usually they say " I don't know" or " boyfriend and girlfriend" or " just friends"
As a guy that is stereotypical and not true at all. My friends and I definitely talk in detail about what to do with our significant others and when to/if to label things.
My boyfriend I DTR'ed after like 4 to 5 months of getting to know each other. We kinda went from acquaintances to friends to now BF and GF. its different for everyone. you never really know unless you like ask or take the first step.
I needed this video right now thanks
These would be great if they were longer!!
2:03 same lol
Ive never had a relationship so I cant really relate
Is it really so hard to find a proper relationship and to define it? I think it has to do as much with what you're looking for and how you are as a person, possibly. I married at 23 and I've never had a relationship that lasted less than 5 months. Maybe if you're just looking to play you'll have more difficulty, but if you're looking for something real, is it really that confusing?
well...I've been hanging out with a guy for 5 months and when DTR arrived we just said that neither of us wanted a serious relationship. So...yeah...sometimes it's kind of confusing because we walk holding hands and stuff like that. But we are confortable just going out when we can and want
I love these little sit downs but I wish they were longer
Gosh I didn't know this was such a problem in the US. Here in Germany it is usually like this: the term "dating" is basically unexisting. Either you are friends that go on dates together or you are boyfriend and girlfriend. One person usually asks the other one if they would like to be their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Are there any similarities between this procedure and the "American way"? This video got me confused.
who else needed this video months ago??
For me my ex boyfriend in High school pretty much told me he liked me and we were official right after. Though I dumped him because are relationship was not defined right at all. Equal.
I'm looking in to online dating, so I would say the moment I want to kiss him and he kisses me back should mean right there were an item because that's what we both want, to find someone to move forward with to marriage.
Me and my bf put it off to actually have the conversation, and by then we were soooo boyfriend/girlfriend-y with each other that it was absurd that hadn't just made it official yet. So once we did have the conversation it was super quick and easy, nothing awkward about it at all.
My girl and I been together for 2.5 years and we still can't describe our relationship lol
I always saw these problems on TV but I've only ever gone after guys that didn't want 1000 steps to be boyfriend/girlfriend. My husband a d u went from acquaintances to dating without the friendship, hooking up, or seeing each other phases.
Best way to describe it 0:09 xD
I never really had to DTR, we kind of just knew and accepted it.
I met my boyfriend on a dating app. went out for the first time less than 2 days after meeting and he was telling people I was his girlfriend in less than a week. definitely not how I expected a relationship to move, but it seems to be working for us.
When we have the same values and goals. We're honest and understanding.. To dftr must be dating with only one person. And both agree Toni it date each other
It's not hard to dtr. There's a huge difference between "seeing someone" and being "in a relationship".
Never had an issue with DTR tbh, but I'm almost always certain of their feelings beforehand lol.
I'm the friend that is slowly falling for my best friend but idk if he is in the same place or feels the same way. I don't feel like I can DTR because I don't want him to pull away. But then idk if he does feel the same way then we could be ,issuing something great that is right there in front of us.
I keep going on dates with this guy and we're pretty exclusive and I was just like hey what are we and he very quickly said I have no idea so that went well
i was friends with my first girlfriend before we got together. after a few months i felt like we were better as friends so we broke up, and we're actually better friends than ever before.
I feel like this makes dating sound 50x more complicated than it really is.
the "bison" is identical to the buffalo bills
It depends for me because sometimes I'm the one to do and other times I can't. I can tell if someone likes me 90% of the time so I dtr as soon as I get signals from the other person
I let them know right away. But my last relationship it was confusing cause we weren't sure if we liked each other. But we tried it out and two years later happy relationship
I don't know why people play games so much. I really get to know someone before I go on a date so I know I'm not wasting my time. If we hit it off after a few dates then we make it official, meaning exclusivity is implied. It's really not that complicated. It's more that it's getting harder and harder to not be expected to sleep with everyone you go out with without even making it an official relationship. Sad.
Growing up its always been the same process. "Hey I like you, let's hang out and get to know each other." Then from there is dating and that means bf/gf.
I accidentally DTRed my ex when I introduced him as my boyfriend to a friend instead of saying he was my date. I just couldn't recall the word 'date' (English is my second language) in that moment. He didn't object right then and there, but we talked about it later that night and became a real boyfriend/girlfriend.
Well thank God I don't have to worry about any of this because I don't have a relationship to define.
Literally last night on the phone with an ex, we basically told each other we still like each other:)
Among my group of friends DTR means Del Taco Run!
they couldn't have made this at a more conveniant time for me, I'm literally going through the dtr inner turmoil right now
in Korea you don't really have to define your relationship. because usually most of the relationship starts with DTR like you want to be my boyfriend or girlfriend