With Every Decade, I Feel More Beautiful & Free: Elisa Goodkind's Menopause Rebirth
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
- Thank you to Bonafide for sponsoring our Defying Ageism series! Go to www.hellobonafide.com and use promo code STYLELIKEU for 20% off your first subscription today.
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Today, we are launching our Defying Ageism series with a view into my Closet and an unfiltered rant around what I believe is a criminal act in our culture of rendering women invisible and irrelevant post 45 (i.e. our childbearing years).
For me, with the onset of menopause and the end of my child rearing body, my Phoenix was ready to rise from the ashes. Hot flashes and heart palpitations had me face-to-face with the broken pieces of a 15- year-old me that I had suppressed in an attempt to survive a world that was enraged by my difference and light. But peeking out of the physical, mental and spiritual crisis that accompanied this right of passage was a whole new me that would not die. Looking back, my 15, 20, 30 and 40 year old selves were not even a fraction of the true me I have become through and after Menopause. In some ways, I was born again at 50: finally aligning myself with what I believe to be my calling to create StyleLikeU after years of feeling like a failure (despite how it might have looked on the outside), feeling more beautiful than ever before with the lines on my face, and refusing to be confused for anyone else in my style. Most of all, however, has been the recognition that I am not completed by another, but was rather born complete. Life is a painful and exhilarating journey to discovering who I am and being able to express it... without giving a F*&k if you or anyone likes it.
Stay tuned for the next 8 weeks of more boundary-breaking individuals, whose courage to confront the toxic rhetoric around ageing will have you feeling braver and more grateful than ever to be so lucky to have the opportunity to get older.
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Thank you to Bonafide for sponsoring our defying ageism series! Go to www.hellobonafide.com and use promo code STYLELIKEU for 20% off your first subscription today.
Love you , thank you for existing , to say you are an Inspiración is an understatement.
Ageism is a design to have women dread becoming older instead of being gracious and in love with all the wisdom and power that comes with it. I'm in my late twenties, I'm looking forward to 30 and onward. I know life is only going to get better with time.
Same! I’m in my late 20s and absolutely loving it and watching these videos makes me look forward to being older so much! Older women are such badasses
Yes totally agree!! It's unfortunate though that I keep having to remind myself with media like this that life gets better in your 30s and beyond, as opposed to ending. Everything external wants to make me feel like I'm getting old :( it's only now I am finally getting comfortable enough with myself to start exploring new things without fear!
I’m 57 and I know babe hood is gone and I’m very ok with it, actually it’s a relief, I don’t care if a man likes me or not, I like myself very much and that’s more than enough.
I swear it's a way to try and control women by attempting to diminish their self esteem. I REFUSE to buy into it! The cosmetics companies want you to feel insecure about wrinkles because they want you to keep buying the latest stuff they are cranking out. Many men try to make you feel insecure about aging because a lot of them try to control you by again, trying to diminish your power.
The problem isn't with how the world sees mature women ... the problem is mature women who expect to be seen as something other than a mature woman. I'm a mature woman, and LOVE existing in a world which finally appreciates me for my mind and knowledge, rather than my mating potential. It's the greatest joy, to finally be free of that massive impediment and barrier to free and deep exchange of pure mind. Sex is an absurd reason to diminish the incredible riches of human minds engaging without expectation or competition. We women should celebrate our departure from the mating game, far more than we do. Not least to be finally free of the constant unwanted attention, and the tense vigilance it forces us to engage in.
At 17 I wore hoodies, rock and roll t-shirts, flip flops, jeans, and rocked waist length, raven hair spending summers as a lifeguard in Santa Cruz, CA. At 27 I wore big shouldered suits, wore my sneakers on the train when I commuted to my job in San Francisco. At 37 I dressed very conservative, sensible shoes, pearl stud earrings and necklace to conform with a high powered job in Boston. At 47, I divorced and dressed like I HAD wanted to at 27: stiletto heels, short skirts, low cut blouses, nails and hair done every week living the single life in Phoenix, AZ. At my present 57 years, I am back to the hoodies, rock & roll t-shirts, flip flops, jeans, natural nails and rocking a cascading tumble of gray hair and guess what? I am back to Santa Cruz to show the love of my life where I used to lifeguard.
Lisa Rhoades Does it really get cold enough in Santa Cruz to wear hoodies and all the funky layers of style? So glad you got away from the short skirts-stilettos-Cougar style, never a good look on anyone!
@@purseypurslane If you are not familiar, Santa Cruz is in Northern California and we have a colder climate than our Mid and Southern coastal towns. However, since climate change has impeded Northren Ca on up to Seattle, WA, it is up to Mother Nature now. At 47 I had passed the "Cougar-Style" cut-off 7 years prior. I always thought myself "Saber-Toothe Tiger" LOL
This was so wonderful to read
Ah I’m from concord I loved reading ur story
@@blahblah1438 Thanks for the kindness Blessed Be.
When she said that younger people are programmed to not look at older women as sensual ,and it clicked something.such a cathartic series .
I'm an older woman, and I understand this perception. We have to stop fooling ourselves and pretending that we're the same after menopause. I don't want to do that. I want to understand who I am as an older woman. For the first time, I am looking at childbearing-aged women differently, because I am now on the outside. I don't relate to them anymore. I feel farther away at 50 from 40 than I felt at 20 from 40, or 40 from 20.
Of course they are. Why SHOULD they regard post-menopausal women as sexual?
The funny thing is, most women say their best years were after 30’s into 40s and beyond. All my aunties and mum told me the same thing. So I don’t understand why some run with this idea that ageing is bad. You get more smarter, wiser and confident. Just fabulous we need to abolish this illusion coz it’s clearly not true!!!!
When we are this age it is our solemn duty to set an example to those who are younger by having as much fun as possible, and enjoy every moment of our physical existence. ❤❤❤❤
Ha! I love this - what a way to flip the script. Not only CAN we have fun as we age, it's our moral obligation! 😍😍👏👏 (love your username too!)
@@FollowMyLeadTV We must pass on the news :)
I’m 34 yrs old and I really needed to hear this from an older woman. Every. Word. ❤️
I"m also in my 30ties and wonder if I can get my hair blue and still have chances for serious job. What if people will think that I'm immature?
@@poinsettia12 I am 34 and I've had blue hair since I turned 30. It is absolutely possible to rock blue hair and still look polished. Just act like a professional and people will believe it (shh they still think I am 😛). Blue hair will change your life. It makes me feel special everyday. Do it, do it! 💙
@@thebonniewong What shade do you have? I'm thinking about turquoise. E.g turqouise ombre😍😁
You seem to be a strong, independent girl. Thank you for encouraging words:)
I love what she said: "You are a piece of art in a world of conformity." Thank you ❤️
I can't even cheer this enough... She's a straight up BADASS.
“I need to get friends my own age but can’t find them.” I feel ya. Your style in my style in my head.
To witness a woman living in her full creativity and expression, who is proud of her earned wisdom and who is always open to learning and absorbing more beauty and wisdom is an eternal gift. She is a woman of such quality, depth, substance and story in her clothing choices...but most importantly, her mind. A glimpse into the Infinite Divine. Thank you.🕊🕊
I just turned 40 and have been having a moment. I love to get dressed up and sometimes I feel self conscious like a shouldn’t because I’m too old and I look like a fool. Women like this give me the confidence to say “f**k it!”. Wear what you want, be who you want. You don’t have to “act your age” because what does that mean anyway? Be quiet? Be invisible? No thanks! I want to get louder as I get older 😂
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Be yourself
Everyone else is taken - i think is the quote
Be ur unique self
I'm turning 40 today. It feels weird, doesn't it? The first birthday that is actually fucking with my mind.
@@leonore3349 the 4th decade has been freeing for me. I care less about what anyone thinks! It’s all about your perception/state of mind...enjoy being right here right now💓
@@leonore3349 and Happy Birthday 🎂 mine’s on the 21st♎️
Aging. Suicidal Ideation. Body Dysmorphic Disorder. For the last few years I have been plagued by anxiety over aging and with cosmetic procedures, medication , mental institutions, therapy...with all of this...the brightest light that is keeping me going is your story and Style Like U. It is so therapeutic for me. You and your project have helped me in so many ways. Thank you beyond measure for who you are and what you give. I am a little more alive in the world and in myself since I've been experiencing your content. Forever Grateful.
I love you and we celebrate your dance of life smooth and rough and In between remember you are art and art can express anything
@@Letters2indigo thank you
I can’t find friends my own age either. I completely understand Sometimes I can be in a room or a store and feel completely invisible. At first it bothered me, but then I realized what a neat place to be, completely free from judgment. Love this video
🌞
I feel like she's one of my spirit guides
Bravo! I am finally feeling free in my 50’s. Style Like You is embracing the energy of life.💌 Thank you!
Yes I am learning at 57 and as a new widow to enjoy life and enjoy every moment and wear what I want & do what I want 💪🏾
Love this ❤️
I went into surgical menopause due to a need for a hysterectomy to resolve my hormonal migraines. Before that I lost a job due to self expression during premenopause, which was appalling. I now at age 60, have let all my grey come in. I am authentic, and choose to love all of me!
Lol .. I am 67 and I wear my hair in 2 high ponytails , my hair is white waist long and
I love the ponytails ..
THANKU !!!! ime 52 in the life stage of menopause, single ,childless female.
This is inspiration for my age group within all this ageist sexist and youth obsessed culture. Just to be me whatever age I am. You confirm my motivation to keep being and exploring me and not to feel that being other is not good enough. Its liberating to see someone else liberated xx
I love how alive she is🌞
I am sooo happy about this video! This is such a supportive and validating bit of truth telling. I’m 56 and I really can’t express how much I’m falling in love with myself and ALL of the choices I made. The harsh ones gave me texture that allows me to stand uniquely in the world. The sweet choices feel like rewards for staying self possessed and self protective. I imagine more interesting things to come will grow me further. Thank you!!
🙏❤
❤
Amen!
I am 61....this period of my life is making me love myself so much more..thanks for sharing your life....I am more open to trying new things
🥺been struggling with self esteem issues lately, glad to say just from watching this, im freed from the shackles of wanting to be good enough for everybody else and not myself. THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
You are so fun! I remember having a conversation about at what age do you stop wearing pigtails and I realized I will always wear pigtails. I realized I will be that woman in my older years that will always love pink and be eccentric. I am my own walking canvas.
As an older woman who's menopausally sweating alot, I'm inspired 😍
I’m turning 41 this year. I really enjoyed this video. I am slowly learning who I am and about myself. I lost my way for awhile, slowly working to find her again.
so inspiring! The clothes, the words, her grounded confidence... She really is the coolest
"He won't fix me. You can't hide from yourself..." I like this.♥️Empowering message here on self-worth, self-expression. I appreciate this UA-cam channel! It puts a whole new deep spin on style.
She is spiritual & authentic. A free spirit. 🙏🏻💙
YOU ARE MY HERO. I have kinda known that since I first discovered stylelikeu in about 2007, but now I know for certain. I’m so beyond inspired by you. I’m about to turn 40 and was feeling a bit mixed emotions about that, but watching this just put me on a whole different mindset! Actually made me feel excited about it. Thank you so much for all you do. Stylelikeu has been a beacon of light for me for so many years.
At 33 I needed this. Thank you for this..
my GOD I love her so much. so beautiful both inside and out
A friends daughter said to me recently '' I have never seen an old person in PALLADIUMS''
WTF
I have always worn what i like and suits me from what ever genre
And will continue to do so
65 come December
Love my 'lovelines' took this long to get them
And celebrate my natural hair
'men'opause was pretty straight forward for me
Just went with it and came out the other side
Diet exercise and a fortunate soul
My mum did HRT nad all sorts and had a terrible time
BLESS YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO
Love STYLELIKEU
I graduated HS in 1970. I thought those times were the beginning of a revolution that would continue. Then I married an engineer way to young and had kids who were in sync with their dad and thought I was crazy. Now I live in Santa Fe and am "rebirthing" my life and it is very exciting. LOVE your videos. Very inspiring. Thanks.
More menopause talk, we need this content! 👍
Just love what you do and who you are! I admire your honesty and relate so much to what you say as I am finding this beauty in me that I searched for all these years and after losing my societal approved looks as a “blonde bombshell” who never felt pretty but, always not enough and insecure, I have had my breast removed 2 years ago niw from reconstruction after cancer 12 years ago and shockingly and unexpectedly I found and felt wholeness and beauty emanating from me that I had never known but, had always been searching for in everything that wasn’t my authentic self & thinking the male gaze would give me that validation of beauty but, it never did of course. Then suddenly and unexpectedly she was born again after so much trauma! I often say I feel like my young little girl self now in such a beautiful way I love that I found her!
Wow that's so powerful!!! Damn, "thinking the male gaze would..." .. resonate so much.. beauty is an inside job, beautifully said!
I can't love this channel and this mother and daughter enough. What you have unveiled is so powerful and meaningful. It is a treasure trove, a living evolver. So so grateful. Much Love.
You have helped me so much with my anxiety...thanks to you I know I can be not just content but also happy with who I am....love you Lily and Eliza!!!!!
This was fabulous. I love this channel on UA-cam. What a blessing this is to me. Love the wonderful expression of the people, their narratives and the snapshots we get of their beautiful lives!
I love you, I had a really sad dream and I woke up and just started watching some UA-cam videos and came across to this and your presence in the way you speak is really beautiful. You walk with truth and I think that's very very important.
I just turned 30 a couple days ago and I’ve been struggling with it. Not on getting older per say, but with the thought that I didn’t do much these past 12 years of being an “adult”. Watching you has brought me to tears because we definitely have similar styles and views to life. I want to say thank you for sharing your story.
Wow this is so important!! Thank u so much for these words 😭 need to set myself a reminder to watch this on a regular basis
You look amazing. Sometimes it takes a life to find our own self
"I feel much more enough now".
I love this woman- she said so much that is great. Cool style. Why is it though that all these stylish, older , boho women are so skinny?? When you have a larger bust you just can't flow like that. Things become so much more a matter of constraining!!! And PS , yes we really have to STOP stinking ageism.
You go girl! Wishing you many more decades of discovering what’s inside you.
Stylelikeu reminds us that life is a gift. Thank you so much for this, truly
I Love you because of who you are and that's precious... I can't find neither friends but everyday I try to be comfortable with myself and appreciate my company...I'm not the type of person making friends just for not being alone or forcing myself to have...keep going, you Rock my friend 😇🙏
this video is just filled with positive affirmation after positive affirmation. this woman is amazing
Love her heart look at the way her dog looks at her you just know she is a real person good luck to her .Joan Ireland
In the 11 years I have followed Stylelikeu, my favorite videos are always from Eliza. Her beautiful soul, her take on things, her compassion... She inspires me so much!
Holy shit you are one magnetic woman! Thank you so much for being you 💖💖💖💖and for all the wisdom embodied in this episode. Wow ❤️xx
Listening to this lady and seeing her makes me so happy.
This type of womanly wisdom is what I was missing from my teen years. Hearing this on a regular basis must have made her daughter an incredible person.
I can relate to what she said about feeling reborn during menopause, so much so that I legally changed my name to Phoenix. I can also relate to feeling more beautiful and being more into clothes and accessories! I love her bohemian sense of style!
Thank YOU . This was so needed the way you talk spiritually from your internal wholeness is like honey and healing to my soul. Blessed to WITNESS .
Brilliant, powerful and creative woman! Thanks for inspiring us through your work!
Thank you!! Your video is refreshing and inspiring!!
I envy the fact that you have found inner peace become comfortable and love who you are...still on the path...I turned 60 a few years ago and had a type of meltdown...with the realization I was now in the 60 and over category and fell into the group of 'old and invisible'!!!
Omg thank you so much for this korero (talk)… I heard me in all of what you said. Nobody else I know was depressed at turning 30 … yet it was truely such an amazing and life changing decade as were the next 3 that followed. Being 63 is a struggle atm, I don’t feel old or worry about age, lines etc, But I do feel lost in direction (like at 30). I’ve taken 15 yrs out for health, grandchildren/parental support, travel, tribal research, not for profit work and tertiary study. I want some sort of paid work or self employed but what …? So your video reminded me of what I say to the others, ‘solutions are within ourselves … we may not be looking properly’. Pai Marie xxx❤
Your honesty and wholeness and growth is as inspiring as the way you adorn yourself. Thank you for sharing :)
My biggest inspiration
Eliza - this was so powerful and resonated deeply. I think you and Lily have created something so special with Style like U - it has massively helped me and know others feel exactly the same.
As well as being life affirming it's also wonderful to be able to peak inside other people's wardrobes and listen to them talk about their personal style. So an episode all about you is a real treat. You always look beautiful and I really enjoyed it hearing about the things you love. Can I ask if those gorgeous dresses are from The Vampires Wife or Batsheva? Xxxx
I just turned 38 and absolutely needed to hear all of this💜💜💜
after birthing my second child and feeling disconnected with my body...i really needed this today ❤️
this was incredible....you are incredible...
I am in love with all of these videos and feel so connected and relieved, really. I’m only 19 right now, so I’m so excited for the rest of my life because I do believe that it gets better and better the more you live and become truly yourself❤️ thank you for being so honest and sharing your thoughts !
It's sad isnt it that what society has taught is so different.. so that when we see these videos we are "relieved". I understand what you mean, I'm 37 and their recent ageism series has been so important to me and had also given me additional relief. There just isn't enough representation of older women in the media. However the truth is many are living their truth and loving life. I have felt I have gained more self assurance too and more self knowledge too as I get older. However my dread comes from society placing less value on me as I grow older. However you know what?? I dont want approval from a society that is so sexist anyway. Why do I want approval from a society that fundamentally denies women for who they are unless they fit a narrow age bracket or who only act like doting mothers over a certain age or sexy so and sos below a certain age etc etc I only need approval from myself and that's more than enough 😁
Eliza thank you for saying what has needed to be said for years! You are so beautiful, inspiring and a walking work of art. I love your description of the ," inner smile." This is so true; as genuine beauty is inside and then expressed outside. I have thought this for so long and I am so happy to hear someone else feels the same--" I need to get my own friends but can't find them," so well done and expressed!!!
You can value yourself more when you discover that being ageless is the best time to be in..dressing during covid was me too..clothing become art moreso..just covering yourself in bliss.
Thankyou for sharing yourself so completely..being whole as you just said as I was submitting this.
THIS!!! I’m close to your age and will be your friend! 😉😘💕🌈🧚🏽♂️
I'd love to see Greenteapeng here! Or Nai Palm again 💕 ever since i was a teenager i go back to watch her video here on the Stylelikeu channel
Oh, Elisa! You had me at every word. You embody so much of what young women defy. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🌹🌹🌹
So freeing to be sixty and knowing I'm a art and birth each day. Connection to oneself as she stated is glorious 🙌
She is amazing! Love her outlook
I’m 36 and I feel that as I age in losing myself. One day I woke up and I realize that I’m not enjoying simple everyday things. Then I found this channel and I realize that I needed to listen to older women talking about how they save theirselves from being lost completely. I believe that I’m opening my eyes on time, I still can be that 20 year old that would enjoy shopping or eating sweets. I’m de-demonizing all the preconceptions this society has impose. I’m very grateful about the brave people talking about their struggles and how they survived.
Beauty is just radiating from her spirit. I couldn't even really guess her age because it doesn't matter. Her creativity, wonder and freedom show that women are vital, exciting and worthy at any age.
Thank you for you voice and light
I aways come back to this video when is necessary 🖤
Thank you for sharing. Have been watching Style like U and what an awakening....I now realise that my sexuality is not as crystal crearly within the binary definitions. I feel freer now at 40 than in my twenties more aware...and enjoying life more in a more present way... thank you you are such an inspiration....love your style..it radiates life and joy ... May your legacy continue to thrive...
Oh my goddess! This is so beautiful and inspiring. Thank you thank you thank you.🙏
So beautiful and wise, just keep going and never stop seeing the beauty in yourself, the world and others❤💛💚
Elisa, thank you so much for this video and the very personal insights you share with the world. I find it inspiring to think that the best years are yet to come. I have been following style like you for a long time now and think that you and Lily are doing very important and courageous work in collaboration with so many very courageous people.
She is amazing!
Elisa this made me smile in my heart, thank your being you, a beutiful example of love and light and creativity.
Love from Vienna
Thank you for this rich gift 💗
Such a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing your soul. Great interview from mom. 💖🙏🏽☮️
She is her own best subject. I love the older people on Style Like U!
I don't understand all this talk about "freedom". To me, there's nothing to free myself from. It's about understanding a new stage of life.
I enjoyed being a mother, studying, building a career, being desirable. It's just that, after 30+ years, I have left that long and rich phase of my life and am learning to adjust to a new one, which can be rich, too. Just differently.
I don't feel the need to compare with my past and put it down in order to love myself in a different stage of life. But this didn't happen overnight. I have been 6 years in the process of adapting.
My ear split at 22 so I don’t think that makes you old lol. But I’m also not getting mine fixed. I thought about it but after 3 years, I don’t care anymore. Love her vibe & style.
I needed to hear this ! Thank you ❤️ You are beautiful 🎉
I LOVE YOUR STYLE. so beautiful
Absolutely love this soul!!! So grateful for this beautiful video 💜🧡💜
So much wisdom here 🙌 This was everything!
Really needed this! I appreciate her perspective so much
love love love you! You spark so much joy. I seriously appreciate this channel. It means so so much. 💙
Simply.... Thank you 💛
Thank you for this video 😍
Thank you so much. You give so much.
I went through menopause on chemo so I never knew which was which.
🌹
you remind me of myself so much. i cant wait to get older and i feel more and more like myself the older i get
Having a playful, fun and creative spirit means you will stay youthful in your mind as everything becomes an adventure to explore. It is the mind and spirit that we want to not age, as we don't want to become stagnant and stuck, far more ageing and unhealthy. It is easier I feel to be excited, confident, strong and creative in life after the menopause as we are freed from periods, hormones and all the confines of stress they bring, and the way they may control our life. Freedom 💕
Yes!!!!