@NessaEllenesse No one assumed that but you. She couldn't watch her children DURING THE WEEKEND. It doesn't matter anyway... they're HER CHILDREN not Op's.
Why does an adult person required to tell anybody they are going on a trip? If the parents focus is on the sister, why do the parents care if he takes trips without telling them? I don't understand.
If I'm going to be out of contact for a few days, I let my parents know. That's just a matter of common courtesy. Frankly, OP comes across as very immature. It's like a child hiding in the garden shed so that their parents will come looking
@@ajvanmarle exactly. It's normal. My parents care deeply about me and in case something happens they want to know. I don't mind telling my parents if I go somewhere?
Emily’s reaction is the most true-to-life part of the story. Many people when you demand an equal seat at the table will accuse you of trying to steal the whole table. She was never interested in equal treatment, what reason does she have to start now?
That's how I see it. He didn't disappear he took a vacation. They aren't in charge of his life anymore. Usually you would tell a family member where you are going but not always.
@@sandhermit3665it's a holdover. From the ancient days before cell phones that only us old folks remember and dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Seriously, if you were traveling by car, you would always let someone know where you were going what highways you were taking and when you expected to arrive. Then when you got there you would call that person-usually a family member. That way if you broke down on the middle of nowhere or had problems they would know by the lack of a phone call to send help. If you were traveling a longer distance you would arrange to check in every so often. That way someone always knew about where you were and could send help if the check-ins stopped. Not really necessary anymore since we all have a phone in our pockets these days, but you can see where it came from.
Why does Emily need help when her husband isnt home? Raise your OWN kids!!! My ex was a otr truck driver. I had my kids M-F all alone, and many other women do it too.
Why couldn't the kids come to the barbeque (BBQ) with the grand parents? Good for you for going on the cross country trip. Get away whenever you can. You don't live with or work for them.
or is it just considerate, parents don't stop loving their children once they reach adulthood. I presume you wouldn't ask for financial aid or presents either.
I always tell my parents when I'm out of town, for safety reasons. I don't ask for permission, I just give them the info. Also, I'm a woman and my parents don't suck. But it is good practice to tell someone you're out of town, even when you're an adult. So if something happens ppl know where to start looking.
@@dianaclark3916 did your parents mistreated you emotionally for years? Have they ever cancelled your bday days before for something they didn't really need to do? Did your parents treat you as the scapegoat child?
I flew to Germany 29 days after I turned 18, stayed there for 3 1/2 years. I didn't even tell them I joined the military. Just took my stuff told dad I loved him. Flipped mom off and left.
Because its an awful AI story. Who is going to the "family" BBQ if not (at minimum) OP, his parents, and Emily with her kids? Why do the kids have to be babysat at all?
@@maraudentium2607 bc they can get hurt or killed by destroying things orGod forbid their badass climbing and a whole cabinet or something falls on them. Would they deserve it yep? However who responsible THE PARENTS.
Arizona's Superstition Mountains are on my bucket list. Going to hire a guide (or better yet, several heavily armed ex-military guides) and take my shot at the Lost Dutchman's gold. There's quartz in them there mountains.
Been to Yellowstone the last couple of years in the summer, love it so much ❤ my kids love the geysers. Next summer we have plans to go to Zion and Arches, and possibly Redwood National Park.
He is an adult. He does not need his parents' permission to take a trip. I would care less what my parents thought if I had gone on vacation without telling them.
A nearly middle aged mother of only three can’t handle her kids for a weekend? My wife and I raised four. She held the fort when I left for army reserve duty annually for a quarter of a century.
There's a story where op's sister and bio pressured her into being a free babysitter for their two children during holidays, After a lot of their pressure she tricked them she would go, on the day she didn't turn up to the airport, the parents cancelled the trip because they had no one to look for THEIR OWN CHILDREN.
As someone who grew up with a narcissist. I hate when anyone uses the “I’m not perfect “ line. It feels like a cop out for bad behavior. No one is perfect but it doesn’t take a “perfect “ person to do their best at listening to someone else and their feelings and emotions. I am a mom and do everything to make things equal between my three kids. My kids get the same treatment from me each.
As an adult you don’t have to tell anyone what you are doing. Call them once a month say hello, general conversation then hang up. You don’t need parents at your age. Celebrate birthdays with good friends.
He went on holiday. WTF! What is there to cause all this drama about an adult going on a trip instead of moping around because his parents bailed on him, again. It may have been courteous to inform his parents, but it's not a rule of law or anything. I don't get told every time one of my kids goes away for a few days, I don'tvtell them that I'm going away for a few days. The parents have no reason to do anything more than say, 'we were worried, thanks for texting us when you got our call', then drop the matter. His sister has no bloody reason at all to pile into this conversation, none at all.
S 1 OP hasn't told us his emotional age (after years of watching his sister being pampered). And where is the need to approach internet strangers asking for validification OP needs to stand in front of the mirror and say "I AM 26. I need to live my own life" And go NC with all 3
Why are the parents upset that a gainfully employed adult man takes vacations without their permission ? Why is the entire family expected to cater to the daughter ? These parents put the fun in disfunction. Family counseling should begin ASAP Let the healing begin.
@@mariegarside8830 They obviously did since they decided to change so they could stay in his life. They maybe jerks but doesn't mean they didn't care if he lived or died.
I raised 5 kids single handedly with no help. My parents were dead. Now I'm raising my youngest child by myself because his father passed away. 3 kids aren't that hard.
When they start with honey, you know I love you. You know there’s gonna be a problem. Your mom is an enormous AH! Emily is the golden child. NTA enjoy your birthday trip! Your parents have no reason to be upset! They chose to babysit for Emily. Did they expect you to just sit and spin! Your sister is the selfish one and your parents indulge her! They didn’t see you at dinner? Yeah let them not see you for quite a while! Nothing‘s gonna change with your parents they’re still gonna go you and adore Emily
Do any of you remember when you went on vacation. No phones, no drama. You'd come home and have a voice mail on your message machine. Lol. You could listen or not. Delete it. No worries.
Well, in a less disfunctional family, you might want to let family/friends know if you are travelling just in case something happens on the trip (imagine the ops parents getting a call "your son just fell into the grand Canyon" but thinking it was a scam because they didn't know he was going there).
He’s an adult. You don’t get to control kids when they’re an adult living alone and earning their own money. Time for low contact or they will believe they can do this at any time.
My dad passed away in 2010 and my mom messages my brother to tell me happy birthday but I finally had enough of that I texted her from his phone this year to tell her that I'm old enough and that she can finally quit trying to lie to me about "she loves me" and that the only birthdays that she needs to worry about are her husbands and my half brothers because I'm one of the unlucky ones who didn't have either parent that gave a single f**k about me
If Opie knew his family was like this why is it such a shock when the parents do stuff like this? This is a prime example of not having a backbone and a doormat. I would not have even got home and called them I would have left them on red I would have just ignored them. This is why op is in the predicament he's in now because he doesn't have a backbone.
Have you ever considered just turning off your phone? I know you value the silence so why not turn off your phone or leave a message with your parents if you’re so concerned just saying you’re fine and you’re on a trip doing some thinking or something benign like that? You are an adult. Why can’t you go on a trip by yourself? You don’t need your parents permission and if they’re going to keep favoring the golden child, then go and do things that you can do and get your own friends to go with you. They’ll learn soon enough that you can do things by your self and as long as they keep canceling on you or sacrificing you, then you can go your own way. It doesn’t mean you’re dumping your family. It means you’re putting yourself first. Your sister Emily is putting herself firstso take a lesson from her.
When I include You, im made to feel bad because im putting you on the spot for showing disinterest. When I don't include you, im made to feel bad because im putting you on the spot for not giving you the opportunity to choose disinterest. The problem isn't what I do, the problem is everyone's disinterest. If you're not interested and don't like me putting you on the spot, as much as i dislike the constant reminders of how little you care for me, what do YOU suggest needs to change?
so OPs family is so far up their butt that OP can't take off for a weekend now and then? boy that family is needy or maybe they are upset because OP wasn't around to do their bidding or something.
Why does the sister have to go on husband's business trip?. Insecure that it mite be a cheating trip?. Why doesn't she stay home & take care of her own kids...?
I can so relate to this story. But my parents never made me the priority unless it was unavoidable. I was told I was the cause of most of the way my mom’s life turned out. I am the youngest of 5. 4 girls and 1 boy. I wasn’t supposed to happen and when I did I was supposed to be a boy. A playmate for my brother. I was a really good tomboy. But I was not allowed to play sports. I was supposed to be quiet and unnoticed unless needed. They didn’t care how I did in school. Never was proud when I won an award or was in something. If I felt great about doing anything they always had to squash it fast. I am 60 now. I have a wonderful husband and a family that really loves me. I am a grandmother of 8 and a great grandmother of a 2 year old. My mom would never acknowledge any of my grandkids. Never met any of them. But now I have a real family.
I'm glad there was reconciliation here more often than not in these stories there's only one resolution and anybody that watches these knows what it is
Why does a housewife need a babysitter for her kids. She is not going out for work, so, taking care of her kids is literally her job. Secondly, why is Emily asking her brother to babysit her kids. Most people don't ask male relatives to take care of their kids, unlessit'san emergency. It's a big cultural no-no in most parts of the world.
Why does he take his cell-phone on vacation? Before leaving on trips leave a message stating that you are going on a trip and leaving my phone at home.
It amazes me in every one of these stories that the whole family caters to the child who has kids as if it becomes the responsibility of those who are childless to automatically support them. Does that really happen so frequently? It’s a load of BS. I never wanted kids and I’d never offer to take up the slack for someone else’s just because “their life is so hard”. Maybe they should have thought about that before choosing to pop them out. Your kids are not my responsibility. But then again, I only have a half sister from my dad’s first wife who I never lived with and who never had kids herself. I grew up pretty much an only child so I don’t understand that dynamic, but it still irritates me to read that siblings are forced to have their own lives disrupted by the choices of another. It makes no sense to me.
Emily literally tried to screw op's bday, then got pissed off when it backfired, and the parents are as awful as she is, why wouldn't op make their bday about themselves, that's literally their day.
You’re a grown man , why would you need your parents 🎉permission for anything! Move on ! Spend time with your friends, forget the family. Why do you need for them to approve of what you do. Grow up !
So the parents are trying to make necessary changes and take responsibility and yet the character in the story is still annoyed. This guy sounds like a whiny little.....
I hate the comments but, you are so independent. We never meant to hurt your feelings. We didn't intentionally make your sister or brother God. We didn't mean to spend all our money or time and effort and give them everything and give you nothing. We were always still thinking about you when we were treating you like s*** and treating them like a god. I'm not sure why you can't understand that. You never needed help from anybody. You know your brother or sister was always been so much more needy than you. We knew you could take care of yourself so we had to help them more. That is the parents cop-out. They will not say she or he is their golden child. We love them 10 billion times more than we love you and we really could care less if you show up to anything or not. But, we will need you to babysit, run errands, do dinners, do the laundry and or any and all other tasks we asked you to do for the entire family. Oh and by the way you cannot complain about one thing at all. That's all they see you as and always will. A golden child will never not be a golden child 99.9% of the time in families. This is a simple truthful fact. These are all cop-outs because they don't want to feel bad about themselves. Narcissists believe they really didn't do anything wrong. But I think most parents know how well that you're in one child and how awful they treat the other child and they did it on purpose no matter what they say. There wouldn't be a billion stories out there with the same scenarios if this wasn't true. The sooner the OPs of this world stand up for themselves. GROW that backbone and go no contact with their family completely the better of they'll be. I wish you a wonderful and complete life if you finally go no contact with your family. I don't think you'll ever be happy if you do it any other way. But definitely good luck. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
The whole national park actually covers parts of Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho, but is mostly in the northwest corner of Wyoming. There are entrances in Montana and Wyoming.
An adult who whines because his parents cancelled a BBQ supposedly for his birthday ? More than childish ....a text saying " happy birthday " to an adult child is fine . The hurtful thing though is how the sister seems to always get the parents’ attention. And how do the parents dare ask why he went on a trip without telling them ?
1) I thought the OP wanted his parents to stop prioritising his sister over him. Not stop helping her altogether. There's nothing wrong with them babysitting for her. Only with them cancelling plans made with him, at short notice, in order to babysit. Unless it's urgent- which, according to the story given, is what happened at his birthday. 2) going off to the Grand Canyon on a whim without informing his parents is one thing. But disappearing again without notice is just immature. Even just sending a text as you leave the house, telling them you're going away for a few days is better than vanishing. There might well be a cycle of the parents giving the daughter priority over the OP, but with the examples the story has focused on, the OP is coming across as a spoilt brat throwing a tantrum. He is the AH.
I think this guy is kind of a douche honestly! Or theres a whole lot he didn't say! Why would telling his sister they couldnt babysit, when it had nothing to do with him or his time, show they were thinking of him? He didnt want to be treated equally, he wanted her to be treated badly!
YTA going on holiday wasn't the problem, disappearing without a word was. You could have texted you had gone away. If no one knows where you are, if you had an accident or went missing who would know. You did the equivalent of a ten year old running away from home.
In this specific tale, just the fact he admitted be the trouble maker justifies his parents behavior with the most caring and dependable child. Ops is just a brat who wants not to have a reputation that he created himself and the part when he travels and say something like "not live to please others" but demands his parents to do so... You're a brat man...😂
Yeah self the parents do things wrong putting one kid 1st not thinking the other have balance respect Emily take advantage of the parents because they treat her like golden child really when you have 2 4 5 kids you can’t focus 1 leave the others out they use same old line you are selfish that something both parents & Emily need to self reflect same for OP if there’s problem talk it out don’t brush it under the rug that what really the parents doing same on Emily yes Emily have kids she can’t just depend on the parents they have their own life themselves I’m not defending OP I know what it’s like having siblings dealing things like that me and my brothers and sisters have fights minutes later we laugh at each other’s things we say or do
A 34 year old mom who can't handle her 3 kids for a weekend? Your sister is a slacker.
As a 34 yr old woman with 4, "slacker" is a kinder word than what I would use.
You're assuming Emily is either a stay at home mom. Ever consider that she had to work that day.
You're assuming Emily is a stay at home mom. Not everyone has a 9-5 job with no weekend shifts.
Still she's acting like an entitled brat.
@NessaEllenesse No one assumed that but you. She couldn't watch her children DURING THE WEEKEND. It doesn't matter anyway... they're HER CHILDREN not Op's.
Why does an adult person required to tell anybody they are going on a trip? If the parents focus is on the sister, why do the parents care if he takes trips without telling them? I don't understand.
For real! Imma grown ass man!
If I'm going to be out of contact for a few days, I let my parents know. That's just a matter of common courtesy. Frankly, OP comes across as very immature. It's like a child hiding in the garden shed so that their parents will come looking
Sounds like he just "didn't turn up to dinner" without saying he was cancelling.
Control. They still want control.
@@ajvanmarle exactly. It's normal. My parents care deeply about me and in case something happens they want to know. I don't mind telling my parents if I go somewhere?
Emily’s reaction is the most true-to-life part of the story. Many people when you demand an equal seat at the table will accuse you of trying to steal the whole table. She was never interested in equal treatment, what reason does she have to start now?
Like Granddad said, "Give some people an inch, and they think they're a ruler."
When people tell you who they are, believe them. Why can Emily watch her own damn kids?
If my parents did this to me I would go no contact with the family and just move on with life and enjoy life without the drama
E X A C T L Y!!!
P. E. R. I. O. D. !!!!
That part!!!! 🎉
As an adult why should you explain yourself, so you took a trip on your own time and money . Your not a kid ffs
Sounds like he just "didn't turn up to dinner" without saying he was cancelling.
That's how I see it. He didn't disappear he took a vacation. They aren't in charge of his life anymore. Usually you would tell a family member where you are going but not always.
Except the dinner was with friends, not family. The barbecue was the family thing @davidlloyd1526
@@sandhermit3665it's a holdover. From the ancient days before cell phones that only us old folks remember and dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Seriously, if you were traveling by car, you would always let someone know where you were going what highways you were taking and when you expected to arrive. Then when you got there you would call that person-usually a family member. That way if you broke down on the middle of nowhere or had problems they would know by the lack of a phone call to send help. If you were traveling a longer distance you would arrange to check in every so often. That way someone always knew about where you were and could send help if the check-ins stopped. Not really necessary anymore since we all have a phone in our pockets these days, but you can see where it came from.
@@davidlloyd1526 doesn't matter. He is a grown ass MAN DON'T OWE NO ONE SHIT. PERIOD.
Why does Emily need help when her husband isnt home? Raise your OWN kids!!! My ex was a otr truck driver. I had my kids M-F all alone, and many other women do it too.
I want to know why Emily and her husband couldn't spend the money to hire a blippin babysitter.
@@Poisonwc
The second he said I'm 26, nope not the a hole. Not their business anymore. And why bother calling them? Just be done already.
Bring up the fact that they were the ones who volunteered to take care of your sisters kids! NOT YOU!
You'd think. She's the one who decided to have kids. Had she been nicer, OP would've offered to watch the kids.
Why couldn't the kids come to the barbeque (BBQ) with the grand parents? Good for you for going on the cross country trip. Get away whenever you can. You don't live with or work for them.
Excellent point. His parents could include the grandkids at the BBQ
I would never consider telling my parents or siblings before going on a trip somewhere once I was over 21, that would be sooooo co- dependent!
or is it just considerate, parents don't stop loving their children once they reach adulthood. I presume you wouldn't ask for financial aid or presents either.
@@LucySplendid did you miss the story? They literally treat op like an afterthought.
I always tell my parents when I'm out of town, for safety reasons. I don't ask for permission, I just give them the info. Also, I'm a woman and my parents don't suck. But it is good practice to tell someone you're out of town, even when you're an adult. So if something happens ppl know where to start looking.
@@dianaclark3916 did your parents mistreated you emotionally for years? Have they ever cancelled your bday days before for something they didn't really need to do? Did your parents treat you as the scapegoat child?
I flew to Germany 29 days after I turned 18, stayed there for 3 1/2 years. I didn't even tell them I joined the military. Just took my stuff told dad I loved him. Flipped mom off and left.
You need to find a job a few states away for your own peace of mind. Ask your boss about transferring to a new job.
Scapegoat, alot of families have them
He told his friends… the people he sees more often and actually care more about him…
Why can't Emily take care of her own kids?
Exactly.
@@annem7806 she is busy cheating
Because its an awful AI story. Who is going to the "family" BBQ if not (at minimum) OP, his parents, and Emily with her kids? Why do the kids have to be babysat at all?
lmao the billion $$$$$ ?!!! BECAUSE SHE WANTED THE FUN SEX WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITIES.
@@maraudentium2607 bc they can get hurt or killed by destroying things orGod forbid their badass climbing and a whole cabinet or something falls on them. Would they deserve it yep? However who responsible THE PARENTS.
Grand Canyon and Yellowstone make everything better
Arizona's Superstition Mountains are on my bucket list. Going to hire a guide (or better yet, several heavily armed ex-military guides) and take my shot at the Lost Dutchman's gold. There's quartz in them there mountains.
Been to Yellowstone the last couple of years in the summer, love it so much ❤ my kids love the geysers. Next summer we have plans to go to Zion and Arches, and possibly Redwood National Park.
He is an adult. He does not need his parents' permission to take a trip. I would care less what my parents thought if I had gone on vacation without telling them.
A nearly middle aged mother of only three can’t handle her kids for a weekend? My wife and I raised four. She held the fort when I left for army reserve duty annually for a quarter of a century.
There's a story where op's sister and bio pressured her into being a free babysitter for their two children during holidays, After a lot of their pressure she tricked them she would go, on the day she didn't turn up to the airport, the parents cancelled the trip because they had no one to look for THEIR OWN CHILDREN.
As someone who grew up with a narcissist. I hate when anyone uses the “I’m not perfect “ line. It feels like a cop out for bad behavior. No one is perfect but it doesn’t take a “perfect “ person to do their best at listening to someone else and their feelings and emotions.
I am a mom and do everything to make things equal between my three kids. My kids get the same treatment from me each.
Never ever and I mean….. Never ever give up control of your life. The seconds, minutes,hours,days, months and years belong to you. Your time is yours!
As an adult you have the right to go on a trip without their permission
As an adult you don’t have to tell anyone what you are doing. Call them once a month say hello, general conversation then hang up. You don’t need parents at your age. Celebrate birthdays with good friends.
I'm kind of surprised that you got into college with such a bad school record, bad attendance and failed classes. Good job
My friend couldn't finish 8 grade (failed twice) in Portugal, moved to the UK and years later into university to study law, he actually finished it.
And not one 'I'm sorry' was said by them.
He went on holiday. WTF! What is there to cause all this drama about an adult going on a trip instead of moping around because his parents bailed on him, again. It may have been courteous to inform his parents, but it's not a rule of law or anything. I don't get told every time one of my kids goes away for a few days, I don'tvtell them that I'm going away for a few days. The parents have no reason to do anything more than say, 'we were worried, thanks for texting us when you got our call', then drop the matter. His sister has no bloody reason at all to pile into this conversation, none at all.
You tell your mom that what you are doing is perfectly healthy. What they are doing is unhealthy
Just go no contact they are not worth this crap. You are an adult you dont have to tell them where you are going
S 1 OP hasn't told us his emotional age (after years of watching his sister being pampered). And where is the need to approach internet strangers asking for validification
OP needs to stand in front of the mirror and say "I AM 26. I need to live my own life" And go NC with all 3
2:15: OP is TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD. Not twenty six months months old
7:00 Mom: You dont have kids so you dont understand what it is to be a mother
OP: But Mom. I will never be a mother!
Why are the parents upset that a gainfully employed adult man takes vacations without their permission ?
Why is the entire family expected to cater to the daughter ?
These parents put the fun in disfunction. Family counseling should begin ASAP
Let the healing begin.
If a family member disappears without a word any family would be worried. He only had to say he was going away in a text.
@@LucySplendid The family didn't appear to be concerned for his well being. They wanted a free at will baby sitter.
@@mariegarside8830 They obviously did since they decided to change so they could stay in his life. They maybe jerks but doesn't mean they didn't care if he lived or died.
@@LucySplendid The family finally changed their behavior. However, the family took advantage of him. They changed after they were challenged.
Ughh hes a damn doormat. Ppl tend to treat you the way YOU ALLOW THEM TOO! No way in HELL id help Emily do anything 🙃
I raised 5 kids single handedly with no help. My parents were dead. Now I'm raising my youngest child by myself because his father passed away. 3 kids aren't that hard.
I wouldn’t give the parents another chance, never.
When they start with honey, you know I love you. You know there’s gonna be a problem. Your mom is an enormous AH! Emily is the golden child. NTA enjoy your birthday trip! Your parents have no reason to be upset! They chose to babysit for Emily. Did they expect you to just sit and spin! Your sister is the selfish one and your parents indulge her! They didn’t see you at dinner? Yeah let them not see you for quite a while! Nothing‘s gonna change with your parents they’re still gonna go you and adore Emily
Do any of you remember when you went on vacation. No phones, no drama. You'd come home and have a voice mail on your message machine. Lol. You could listen or not. Delete it. No worries.
he is a grown man, he can do what he wants, why does he have to tell them everything he's doing?
I’m glad the parents, saw their errors and improved unlike Emily who is still entitled
OP is an adult. He doesn't need his parents' permission to go on vacation, change jobs, or move.
Another golden child story, this is getting so old!
when parents play favourites with children they open the family to disfunction and heartache....it is not all about the golden child?
Youre 26yo. Why would you have to report anything to anyone. Wow. I'd skip all their birthdays for the next few years.
Pretty words, absent intentions. It won't change. How long will it take. I give it less than 30 days.
Well, in a less disfunctional family, you might want to let family/friends know if you are travelling just in case something happens on the trip (imagine the ops parents getting a call "your son just fell into the grand Canyon" but thinking it was a scam because they didn't know he was going there).
I think the whole family needs to grow up!
God forbid you prioritise yourself
He’s an adult. You don’t get to control kids when they’re an adult living alone and earning their own money. Time for low contact or they will believe they can do this at any time.
My dad passed away in 2010 and my mom messages my brother to tell me happy birthday but I finally had enough of that I texted her from his phone this year to tell her that I'm old enough and that she can finally quit trying to lie to me about "she loves me" and that the only birthdays that she needs to worry about are her husbands and my half brothers because I'm one of the unlucky ones who didn't have either parent that gave a single f**k about me
Why can't Emily take care if her own kids? Why can't the kids be at a family barbeque?
If Opie knew his family was like this why is it such a shock when the parents do stuff like this?
This is a prime example of not having a backbone and a doormat.
I would not have even got home and called them I would have left them on red I would have just ignored them.
This is why op is in the predicament he's in now because he doesn't have a backbone.
Have you ever considered just turning off your phone? I know you value the silence so why not turn off your phone or leave a message with your parents if you’re so concerned just saying you’re fine and you’re on a trip doing some thinking or something benign like that? You are an adult. Why can’t you go on a trip by yourself? You don’t need your parents permission and if they’re going to keep favoring the golden child, then go and do things that you can do and get your own friends to go with you. They’ll learn soon enough that you can do things by your self and as long as they keep canceling on you or sacrificing you, then you can go your own way. It doesn’t mean you’re dumping your family. It means you’re putting yourself first. Your sister Emily is putting herself firstso take a lesson from her.
A happy ending? Was totally not expecting that.
You're an adult it's not any of their business if you go on a trip.
If you continue to live under their roof, they will continue to find reasons to mistreat you,because you are giving them PERMISSION to do so!!!
You are Grown, do what you want.
When I include You, im made to feel bad because im putting you on the spot for showing disinterest.
When I don't include you, im made to feel bad because im putting you on the spot for not giving you the opportunity to choose disinterest.
The problem isn't what I do, the problem is everyone's disinterest.
If you're not interested and don't like me putting you on the spot, as much as i dislike the constant reminders of how little you care for me, what do YOU suggest needs to change?
so OPs family is so far up their butt that OP can't take off for a weekend now and then? boy that family is needy or maybe they are upset because OP wasn't around to do their bidding or something.
of course not, you're an adult you don't have to tell them squat about what you do
He gave them too many chances.
Iris none of their business what you do . Why do you have to do anything with them !
Why does the sister have to go on husband's business trip?. Insecure that it mite be a cheating trip?. Why doesn't she stay home & take care of her own kids...?
First world problems.
I can so relate to this story. But my parents never made me the priority unless it was unavoidable. I was told I was the cause of most of the way my mom’s life turned out. I am the youngest of 5. 4 girls and 1 boy. I wasn’t supposed to happen and when I did I was supposed to be a boy. A playmate for my brother. I was a really good tomboy. But I was not allowed to play sports. I was supposed to be quiet and unnoticed unless needed. They didn’t care how I did in school. Never was proud when I won an award or was in something. If I felt great about doing anything they always had to squash it fast. I am 60 now. I have a wonderful husband and a family that really loves me. I am a grandmother of 8 and a great grandmother of a 2 year old. My mom would never acknowledge any of my grandkids. Never met any of them. But now I have a real family.
Jake is a real one
I'm glad there was reconciliation here more often than not in these stories there's only one resolution and anybody that watches these knows what it is
Why does a housewife need a babysitter for her kids. She is not going out for work, so, taking care of her kids is literally her job.
Secondly, why is Emily asking her brother to babysit her kids. Most people don't ask male relatives to take care of their kids, unlessit'san emergency. It's a big cultural no-no in most parts of the world.
Emily should be able to tend to her kids if a babysitter is not available.
I hope you're still looking for a new job in another state! Good luck Op!😊
Tense & calm are opposites. How can the atmosphere be both of those at the same time?
Why does he take his cell-phone on vacation? Before leaving on trips leave a message stating that you are going on a trip and leaving my phone at home.
Why is a single 26 yr old celebrating his birthday with his parents?
what kind of bbq were they having where the kids couldn't be there?
It amazes me in every one of these stories that the whole family caters to the child who has kids as if it becomes the responsibility of those who are childless to automatically support them. Does that really happen so frequently? It’s a load of BS. I never wanted kids and I’d never offer to take up the slack for someone else’s just because “their life is so hard”. Maybe they should have thought about that before choosing to pop them out. Your kids are not my responsibility. But then again, I only have a half sister from my dad’s first wife who I never lived with and who never had kids herself. I grew up pretty much an only child so I don’t understand that dynamic, but it still irritates me to read that siblings are forced to have their own lives disrupted by the choices of another. It makes no sense to me.
Tell me again why people make fun of boomers?
I seriously thought OP was still under the age of 20 when this started.
Emily literally tried to screw op's bday, then got pissed off when it backfired, and the parents are as awful as she is, why wouldn't op make their bday about themselves, that's literally their day.
You’re a grown man , why would you need your parents 🎉permission for anything! Move on ! Spend time with your friends, forget the family. Why do you need for them to approve of what you do. Grow up !
So the parents are trying to make necessary changes and take responsibility and yet the character in the story is still annoyed. This guy sounds like a whiny little.....
I’d have given my family and friends a heads up I’d be out of contact for a few days so no one would be concerned until x days out of contact.
I hate the comments but, you are so independent. We never meant to hurt your feelings. We didn't intentionally make your sister or brother God. We didn't mean to spend all our money or time and effort and give them everything and give you nothing. We were always still thinking about you when we were treating you like s*** and treating them like a god. I'm not sure why you can't understand that. You never needed help from anybody. You know your brother or sister was always been so much more needy than you. We knew you could take care of yourself so we had to help them more. That is the parents cop-out. They will not say she or he is their golden child. We love them 10 billion times more than we love you and we really could care less if you show up to anything or not. But, we will need you to babysit, run errands, do dinners, do the laundry and or any and all other tasks we asked you to do for the entire family. Oh and by the way you cannot complain about one thing at all. That's all they see you as and always will. A golden child will never not be a golden child 99.9% of the time in families. This is a simple truthful fact. These are all cop-outs because they don't want to feel bad about themselves. Narcissists believe they really didn't do anything wrong. But I think most parents know how well that you're in one child and how awful they treat the other child and they did it on purpose no matter what they say. There wouldn't be a billion stories out there with the same scenarios if this wasn't true. The sooner the OPs of this world stand up for themselves. GROW that backbone and go no contact with their family completely the better of they'll be. I wish you a wonderful and complete life if you finally go no contact with your family. I don't think you'll ever be happy if you do it any other way. But definitely good luck. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
OP on the way should’ve texted I’m going out of town don’t worry about me. I’ll call you when I get back.
Why Emily can't bring the kids to the bbq?
Dang it you just had to use the word palpable.
Mmmm isn't Yellowstone in Montana?
The whole national park actually covers parts of Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho, but is mostly in the northwest corner of Wyoming. There are entrances in Montana and Wyoming.
@ thank you
An adult who whines because his parents cancelled a BBQ supposedly for his birthday ? More than childish ....a text saying " happy birthday " to an adult child is fine . The hurtful thing though is how the sister seems to always get the parents’ attention. And how do the parents dare ask why he went on a trip without telling them ?
Are you 26 or 16? Why would you need to tell your parents anything?
No offense OP but once you hit adulthood your birthday’s not that big of a deal. Things happen, plans get changed. Glad you enjoyed your trip tho.
Coastal Redwoods next
Ha! Where is "Family" when *you* need help?
Is it really necessary to have the background moving around?
If this is real, then everyone sucks in this case. Parents did a piss-poor job of raising their kids, and OP had a knee-jerk reaction.
Which knee-jerk reaction? An adult making adult decisions after being let down and having his bday cancelled to please a lazy entitled parent ?
Or we don't want you to support us in our old age
Does anyone proof this drive for pronunciation?
Son?
Dear God...stop with the moving background! It's causing motion sickness and unnecessary.
Thank you for your feedback! We’ve listened and made changes - the background no longer moves. We hope you enjoy the new experience! 😊
1) I thought the OP wanted his parents to stop prioritising his sister over him. Not stop helping her altogether. There's nothing wrong with them babysitting for her. Only with them cancelling plans made with him, at short notice, in order to babysit. Unless it's urgent- which, according to the story given, is what happened at his birthday.
2) going off to the Grand Canyon on a whim without informing his parents is one thing. But disappearing again without notice is just immature. Even just sending a text as you leave the house, telling them you're going away for a few days is better than vanishing.
There might well be a cycle of the parents giving the daughter priority over the OP, but with the examples the story has focused on, the OP is coming across as a spoilt brat throwing a tantrum. He is the AH.
This guy is acting like a two year old where nothing is good enough for him . If I was his parent I would tell him to grow up!
I think this guy is kind of a douche honestly! Or theres a whole lot he didn't say! Why would telling his sister they couldnt babysit, when it had nothing to do with him or his time, show they were thinking of him? He didnt want to be treated equally, he wanted her to be treated badly!
YTA - not necessarily for this, just in general.
YTA going on holiday wasn't the problem, disappearing without a word was. You could have texted you had gone away. If no one knows where you are, if you had an accident or went missing who would know. You did the equivalent of a ten year old running away from home.
His friends knew. You know, the people he ACTUALLY had daily contact with.
Nope probably didn't bother with him till they saw photos being posted
In this specific tale, just the fact he admitted be the trouble maker justifies his parents behavior with the most caring and dependable child.
Ops is just a brat who wants not to have a reputation that he created himself and the part when he travels and say something like "not live to please others" but demands his parents to do so... You're a brat man...😂
Yeah self the parents do things wrong putting one kid 1st not thinking the other have balance respect Emily take advantage of the parents because they treat her like golden child really when you have 2 4 5 kids you can’t focus 1 leave the others out they use same old line you are selfish that something both parents & Emily need to self reflect same for OP if there’s problem talk it out don’t brush it under the rug that what really the parents doing same on Emily yes Emily have kids she can’t just depend on the parents they have their own life themselves I’m not defending OP I know what it’s like having siblings dealing things like that me and my brothers and sisters have fights minutes later we laugh at each other’s things we say or do
@pandamoon8067 God bless you.💘