Most Hilarious Sea Creature Stand Up Jokes | Jim Gaffigan
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- Опубліковано 25 лип 2024
- LOBSTAHHHH! LOBSTAHHHHHHH! All the sea creatures I have eaten over my career, here are my jokes about them!
PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon.
:00 - Sea Horse
:26 - Manatee
1:56 - Lobster Tank
2:19 - LOBSTAH!
4:42 - Crabs
6:03 - Tanks In Windows
6:25 - Whales
11:45 - Clams & Oysters
12:55 - Anchovies, Squid & Octopus
13:40 - Paella
BEST of / FUNNIEST COMPILATION
Animals bit.ly/AnimalsCompilation
Fast Food bit.ly/FastFoodCompilation
Jesus bit.ly/JesusComp
Clothing bit.ly/JGClothingCompilation
Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
Stores bit.ly/JGStores
Catholic bit.ly/JGCatholic
Drinking • Best DRINKING Jokes | ...
Disney • Best Disney World Joke...
Japan • Best Japan Jokes | Jim...
Fish • The FUNNIEST Fish Joke...
HEALTHY & HAPPY Gardening
INTRO bit.ly/HappyandHealthy1
CORN bit.ly/HappyandHealthyCorn
THE PALE TOURIST
Asian American (Full Set) bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
Florida Man (Full Set) bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
QUALITY TIME
Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
Lying bit.ly/JGLying
Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBirthday
Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdWeather
NOBLE APE
Pope bit.ly/JGPope
My Least Favorite Doctor bit.ly/JGWorstDoctor
UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
CINCO
Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
OBSESSED
Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathvShower
Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
MR. UNIVERSE
Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
Big Family bit.ly/3a6HW0L
Disney bit.ly/JGDisney
KING BABY
Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffleHouse
BEYOND THE PALE
Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
SUPER OLD
Manatee bit.ly/JGManatee
Glasses bit.ly/JGGLasses
MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast bit.ly/JGToast
Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
Pork bit.ly/JGPork
Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
Pasta bit.ly/JGPasta
Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlates
Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansasCBBQ
Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
Garden Veggies • Eating from Jim Gaffig...
My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React my 1st 1/2 hr Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
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JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
Spain bit.ly/JGSpainJETW
Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
PALE FORCE w/ Conan - • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
TEXT JIM 646-980-6600 - Розваги
Jim Gaffigan is the only comedian who has or will ever have 16 minutes of sea creature jokes.
It’s not that hard of a feat to achieve lmao
@@pirate__crewman but when you have 16 minutes about every topic lol
@@pirate__crewman try 16mnts of horse jokes than you’ll achive mastery
Or horses,, lol.
@@pirate__crewman- Well, it’s been 2 years, let’s hear your 16 minutes of sea creature jokes. You know, that easily attainable feat, according to you.
Gaffigan is so fun and easy to listen to. He can make fun of anything or anyone without sounding cruel and demeaning. He makes you laugh at yourself. So much more talent than the average comedian.
Hysterical!
The manatee bit makes me laugh every time. 😄 "You live in the ocean 'cause you ain't got no job."
Sea pig whatever✋😂
Gaffigan makes me laugh and smile the whole time I’m listening to his routines.He’s great!
He is really underrated I think that he is one of the best comedians of our time !
He's literally one of the most successful comedians on the planet
Define underrated.
I could watch this video for hours on end... all exceptional throughout but the routine on whales is pure comedy gold. Apart from the brilliance and originality of the jokes, his expressions, timing and whale sounds are just PERFECT 🤣🤣
Heard these before but are still just as funny every time I hear him. Favorite comedian!
Thank you Jim, you always bring me out of the funk i sometimes find myself in. Your better than any antidepressant out there.
The whale impression always kills me
Every single time - it's so good that even Jim cracks up 🤣
UUUUUUuuuuuuUUUUUUUUuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUU
In the past Gaffigan would have arrived on a Viking ship and ransacked your village. That pent up anger is now directed towards lobstahs.
The only comedian that can say “because I’m white” and it’s still hilarious
Yes but he would have done it politely, he wouldn't have raped anyone and on the way home he'd think of a really good joke about it all.
His manatee story was the first one I ever saw, decades ago. My wife and I had never laughed so hard together in our young marriage. "Sea cow" has been a running joke between us all this time!
Jim at his best. I'm dying here!
With ear buds in so I don’t wake the hubs, trying to whisper laugh lol but it’s futile lol!! Jim, you’re my favorite!!
Young Gaffigan looks like one of those random scientists in the background of a movie who usually die in the first act.
EXACTLY haha
This is so true.
Yes exactly 🤣
Somebody should tell him this! It's perfect, Drew, and maybe he would put it in his Act
@@janelliot5643 I would if I ever met him.
The whale jokes are my favorite! 🐧 🌊 🐡 🐙 🐚 🐬 🐳 🐋 🐟 🐠 (I went a little overboard with the emojis.)
They are fab! 🤣
😮😮😮,😘
he makes seafood sound disgusting but I love everything he mentioned XD
Actually seafood IS disgusting, so I agree with Jim on that one!!!
Those whale sounds get me every time 🤣
I hadn't seen the whale bit before, lol!!!!! Can't stop laughing!
Amazing to watch Jim Gaffigan turn into an elderly Jack Nicholson at the end.
So you mean jack Nicholson now? Lol
He never fails to make me laugh which i need to do more often.
The "blub-brrrrrr" one always got me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That is indeed what my big fat butt sounds like.
As someone who is equally grossed out by all seafood, thank you Sir
The whale voice is spot on 🤣
Absolutely! 🤣
This is the first Jim Gaffigan comedy video,that I've watched, for a long time, with some of the material, that I haven't even i
seen yet... 😂
Omg spot on about the butter lol 😂
The whales crack me up every time. Thanks Jim.
I was thinking "at least it's not horse jokes", while he started the seahorse joke. Well played, Jim.
You are a true fan
Gotta love his horse jokes though
@@DJSquish76 I've seen him twice plus in person @ the Grey Snail 🐌
The paella bit made me laugh so hard!
“I try not to eat things that also make jewelry”
🤣😂🤣
The whale bit priceless,you need to get your on tv show.
I think this was the funniest compilation of Jim Gaffigan I've ever heard, at least I can't remember laughing so hard all by myself that sides hurt 🤣🤣🤣
Finally someone besides me calls lobster and shrimp what THEY ARE:
SEA INSECTS! FOR GODS SAKE THEY'RE FEEDING IS BUGS!
(runs from room screaming)
Embrace the bugs! In fifty to a hundred years we all will have to.
Please believe me that the bit about paella is uncannily accurate and 100% spot on. You can never eat paella at the right place, it is always the wrong place or the wrong paella. I'm sorry but that is THE LAW.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
“Harvey the Lobstah “Fan Club! 🦞
The manatee bit almost made me pee my pants!😂🤣
Bug meat! Oh my gosh I never knew this!! Lawbstuh! A giant sea scorpion 🦂. Aaaahhhhh run!
Eurypterid.
Jim is the funniest comedian ever!!! 😂😆
Jim works so hard to give us laughter
“Yeah, whatever Sea Pig” 😅
He really nailed that Ricki Lake audience member. In every way.
TURFIN BUG BUTT!! 🍤🍤🍤 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jim's whale impression sounds quite similar to Buffalo Bill from _The Silence of the Lambs._ 😁
Thank you for the good night stories!
I grew up at the Jersey Shore, eating Seafood like a Champ! Now, I'm completely grossed out by it.
Friends of mine who are Commercial Fishermen will tell you that the best place to find crabs is where the sewage runoffs are, or a dead body. Blahhh... nope. They are bugs..
This is Brilliant Proof!
Do you run sewage straight into the sea? ( I don't mean you personally)
@@wayneurquhart1967 They did. I don't know if they still do. I know that they still run rain water drains into the ocean.
They used to take garbage and dump it in the ocean.
Gross.
And lobster killers make me angry, boiling a creature alive is torturous.. 😰🦞
🤢
Love that he made seafood funny. Wide-open topic, and he did it proud.
I really like his whale jokes!
Funniest comic in ages 😂❤
What's worse than having lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ.
I get the feeling that Jim does not like seafood!
What makes you think that 🤣
Love your seafood jokes!
The guy who named the sperm whale was the same one who named a planet Uranus, i believe..
You can really tell that he enjoys the whale noise that he makes 😂
Jim always cracks me up, no matter how I'm feeling! 🤣 Sea bugs!🤣🤣🤣
Funny bits! Thanks for my daily dose.
Jim Gaffigan is always a delight
Jim one of the things about your stuff that I like is that you don’t scream into the microphone. No seriously
Mister Gaffigan cheerleaders get better every time I watch him! LOL thank you so much
Omg this guy is hilarious!!!!
I need Jim Gaffigan every morning with my coffee to get my day started right! 💖
I literally laughed out loud each and every time I watch your comedy. Thank you for the best giggle fest ever.
His whale bit has got to be my favorite. That and bug meat, snot rocks, boat captains.
Thank you Jim, you bring laughter to the end of my day with my over "melodious" children. Sincerely, thank you😊
I'm totally with him on the stance that seafood is disgusting lmao
I’m annoyed by people that hate seafood. But love Jim! Lol
I like the idea of eating seafood, but my tongue doesn't agree with me. It spits it out, like liver, before I can even chew.
I’m vegan as I don’t like murdering any animals
@@marystephens765 What about insect pests, parasites and vermin?
@Andrew zzstu Kolozsvary literally, no one asked you to criticize me
@Andrew zzstu Kolozsvary literally, maybe you are not educated to the fact that humans eat way too much animal. It’s not healthy and it’s contributing to climate change. Charles Darwin’s great grandson is a scientist. He has said that if we cut back to one serving of animal to three times a week, we can reverse climate change. Literally, I have the right to express myself whether or not you like what I say
Snot from a rock, so accurate.😅😅😅😅😅
Rock with a snot in it, exactly. Lol.
I love Jim's warp mind.lol
Its the first time I see somebody with reverse boldness!!
He was bold in his youth and the hair has been growing as he gets older.
Thats amazing!!
I love his sense of humor I laugh till I cry!
Lady whispering in her head:
His impersonation of Boston people sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger.... I don't think Schwarzenegger is from Boston
one of your best ever. lol
1. The blowhole joke... f-ing nearly pissed myself
2. "sperm" in sperm whale comes from spermicetti that was harvested from the forehead of the whale. It was used for oil for various uses.
I love Jim!
He is so funny I watch his shows over and over. Good clean comedy .
Jim, you ROCK!!!! I ADORE YOU!!!!
Watching these videos while dealing with Omicron (for a month) has been it’s own kind of wonderful medicine.
Him is logical and hilarious; a step above sarcasm 🙌❤️
Just saw you in the movie Troop Zero. You were great and should do some material on the actors (kids+) interaction and set experience. Thanks for giving me my best lung clearing laughs each day during this hard 2020.
I just love the voice he uses for the manatee.
However, manatees don't have a blubber layer, which is why they're only found in warm waters.
Seriously how can anyone eat bugs and boogers???? I love all of these jokes, best of the best.
Jim never disappoints!!
I Declare ...he’s hilarious except when he talks politics
@@debc7341 Politicians talking politics are funny enough.
@@debc7341 Well, to be fair when he talks politics he's not TRYING to be funny.
linshanhsiang when he talks politics he isn’t funny, well that’s my point. I like 😆
hilarious. complete hilarity
Paella is only intended for lunch; cappuccino is only for breakfast… and yet they’re so perfect for any time of day
turf and bug butt lmao, i love butter too. I'm from Maryland, love that bug. 1/2 a bite of bug meat. I love the work cracking them open yum 😂 you should have mentioned crawfish, like eating a dozen little lobsters
I feel the same way about seafood, cant stand it!! So funny!!
Lol, I don’t like seafood either Jim, this is perfection ❤️🦀🐠🐙🐠🌊
Legend
LMAOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂
An excellent comedian!
Brilliantly hilarious 😂 lol 😆
So funny!
I love this seafood/bug skit. I hate fish and they do look like gigantic bugs to me
Will there be a manatee? 🐳 🐋
"Thats not paella! I will never go there"
- have you ever eaten there?
"NO I WILL NEVER GO THERE" lol
The whales jokes are just so funny!
"Well, I ordered it....it never came".. Why is that so damned funny???
That Whale joke was amazing honestly
The baby version of the dinner crab 🤣
Jim in this one when you say you want your wife getting crabs to be a surprise (the word "surprise" is really where you almost nailed it) you come very close to doing a version of Sean Connery and with a little tweaking I think you could pull it off convincingly.
The whale jokes are so funny