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If we are watching these type of content it means we are loosing our time with the wrong person. When we are on healthy relationships life goes smooth and you don't have doubts or need any advise.
The biggest problem with women and men in general is that they are unrealistic when it comes to the opposite sex. We are all human, we all have quirks and flaws. No one is perfect. You have to be open to see through all that and see the heart.
Well said. Actually too much absence causes disconnection and indifference. Character and emotional maturity are the most critical component. James Sexton is excellent!
I tell my man I will treat you like a King. I think you should not expect anything in return. Love is given voluntarily. Give and take will flow naturally.
I learned that when someone initially meets you and they display negativity from the start, think of it as they are doing you a favor, they are showing you who they are, which saves you from wasting your time with them in your search. You can silently bless them on their way that they get the help they need, and you step away and continue to be open to connecting with more positive people around you.
Jonathan is an "open and honest" human being 36:38 who is NOT afraid to offend when telling the truth. I think his communication can sound harsh HOWEVER it is the best kind of communication if you want to really know someone. Shutting a side off will never allow the other person to get to know who you really are. The "take it or leave it" is something you learn through trial and error. As a dating specialist he knows better to say it out loud than keep it in for the sake of "protecting the other" or be too people pleasing!
Yes, no nonsense with out sugar coating anything! 👍 People show you who they are in the first conversation, on day one. . However dig up the skeletons. Be a detective. 👁️ Watch for secrets, lies, shady behavior and compartmentalization. Patterns of behavior. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
I absolutely love how Jonathon articulates himself. He has such a kind energy. I’ve noticed some online mental health gurus tend to have a Machiavellian vibe or energy. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I do appreciate that Jonathon isn’t like that. He seems like he really just wants to inform us.
I find this especially true being a widow for almost 2 years I find the men try to play on a replacement need they think I have. He can’t be replaced. I’m looking for a new relationship at this point and don’t want to be played.
@@bonniejones7919 In 2021 I started dating a widower only a few months after his wife’s death. Had I known then what a know now I would have told him he wasn’t ready and would have moved on. Instead we dated for two years, and he broke it off 6 months ago only to rebound into a new relationship which also didn’t last. Needless to say he probably needs to take a break from the dating scene and work on himself
Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis In this world verify everything. Date like a detective 👁️ Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
This definitely resonates with me. It seems that the best way to find someone who will appreciate us is by respecting ourselves and realizing we are worth being appreciated! That, along with building a solid foundation of friendship.
I love the way John listens so attentively to Jonathan's explanation. I also agree that John has a very nice smile. Wishing him all the best in his search for love 😊
Great question about phone messages via the app! 22:06 your answer so great!! I just love the straight forward way of communicating with us! You are so RIGHT! 👍
I don't get why anyone has to "do the work" when everyone around them is just as broken. Even if you do the work, you get with someone who's not great for you, you end up broken again. It seems like the more you "do the work", the more "normal" you become, the greater your chances of ending up alone. It's just so rare to meet a normal, secured, single person in this age bracket. Maybe my chances of getting struck by lightning is higher.
@@JonathonAslay I've already done the work, and still doing the work. I've been "doing the work" for more than 15 years and that's how I was able to say what I did in the previous comment. I have no delusions. What I understand now is that most people are not designed (or destined) for marriage. It is the most obvious thing that we fail to see, because society has sold us a bag of lies. Meaningful relationships exist and can be cultivated, and they don't necessarily have to be of romantic nature. The sooner we can accept this, the less miserable we will be.
I can understand what you’re saying… the more work you do on yourself the more likely you may end up being alone as you are less likely to to meet someone who has done the work on themselves and if you end up dating broken people again it can end up making you broken again. But solution it’s not why should anyone do the work when all around are broken. How about every individual works on themselves & learn about their attachment styles, their patterns etc..Most of the times major problem is people are not even aware they got to do the work like getting to know their attachment styles, level of emotional intelligence they need to develop, understand their insecurities etc..They think all should happen organically. But from my experiences I have realized dating is a skill, maintaining attraction & building long lasting relationships & marriage is a skill which people need to learn, just like any other skill we learn in our professional lives. This ‘work on yourself’ applies to friendships even. We need to have & build awareness in developing social skills & skills in building & maintaining friendships too like creating safe space for other person to open up to you etc... Unfortunately people are willing to enhance their professional skills but not their other intrinsic skills
@@sherriflemming3218 thank you. Yes exactly the same I realised from my experiences people don't change until they have to. For instance just like during pandemic individuals / companies were kind of forced to develop digital skills & systems until then they were complacent & could not see that it would be unavoidable to survive in future without digitization. And similarly in relationships most people have this notion that my partner should accept me as I am why should I change. And another thing I noticed in friendships & romantic relationships is that the person who says people should accept me as I am are the ones mostly wanting their partner to change but they won't even change an inch to work on their behaviour, for instance an individual's friend repeatedly cancels on them for meeting their partner or on his or her partner repeatedly cancelling on them to meet their friends. They won't be respectful of other person's time & commitment. Both people have to come half way..both have to change a bit to come to the middle ground.
Interesting perspective which at one time was worried about how a man would view this. “ How do I make myself not look clingy”. *1 Knowing what your boundaries are. *2. Not accepting less. For me because I have been an anxious attached, I had to step back and acess because I was choosing men who have avoidance type personalities. This is why I really like Johnathan’s idea that both people feel like they got the best deal. As far as waiting….. ladies never wait. I’m learning how to enjoy life and want to share this with a man capable of knowing what he wants and also understands what chivalry is and mutually cherishing their love
You nail it on The Rules. I burned that ridiculous book years ago! 😄 Thank goodness I don't have abandonment issues. Individuated at 18. Wanted my freedom privacy and independence. My mother was healthy in teaching us to be independent.
👋Dance, smile, continue with working on yourself even when it is hard & go out there because you are so worth it😀. I totally agree with Jonathan that being grateful even when the life lessons are painful IS the KEY👍. Good luck & stay safe. Cheers😀.
Thank you, Jonathon, for saying a dating coach who says follow their formula is totally full of it, I 100% agree with you sir. And thanks to wise advice I no longer look at a man's outer shell I look at his character and how he treats me. And I totally agree with becoming friends first, spend time talking and not focused on having a physical relationship which will cloud anyone's judgement.
Jonathon, please keep screaming and ranting. It makes my day when you do this ! I feel you. No one comes close to your brutal straight talk, which you put off with seemingly little effort. Thank you again
@@JonathonAslay In hearing your various topics on dating and experiencing true love, it has helped me to realize even more during the grieving I have been going through, how much my late husband of 36 years loved me. He certainly did get it right in his marriage, family life, personal relationships and career throughout his life. He came from a place, as I do from the foundation of respect. Respect of God, self and others. That truly is the basis of a good healthy productive happy life. I do journal on thoughts about his life and our life together, and your instruction vlogs help me to focus in on the topics. I have gained knowledge and introspection about "dating" and relationships from you since I had turned in and really appreciate everything you share with us. I think your tutorials are so affirmative and sorely needed in our society today.
Question: 😊 I was given a man’s phone number. We started chatting on phone. Only 1 live phone call. Still have not met. He mentioned my profile in April already. He is now a very busy guy and lives a good 40 kms from me. No move to meet in person yet although we get on quite well so far. Is he interested or am I just a ‘pen pal’???
Well if appreciation makes him miss me, he ought to be reaching out to me and missing me like mad by now! I appreciate him big time and believe I’ve shown him that, and I believe he has felt it from me, he has even told me himself that he appreciates me too, so he has definitely felt it from me. It does not seem to have made him miss me, that I can see so far anyway. So I think it depends on how INTO you he is. Unfortunately men are like computers, in order to get anything from them, the first thing you have to do, is turn them on. I heard this once and to be honest …. this I have seen to be true.
Please do a video on what questions we should be asking (before the first date) to vet men. You shared that you have not gone on a first date since your breakup, partly because you ask the deep questions. Please share with us what we should be asking.
He has stated some important checklist questions. Are you dating others? Does anyone else think they're in a relationship with you? What does a relationship look like for you and mean to you? What does committment look like for you and mean to you? Have you completely healed from all of your past experiences? You want to get the relationship history asap. I ask this question. Can you give me your definition of a healthy relationship? Good luck Michelle! Listen and watch how they treat you. Safety first. The first conversation - meeting is The Resume. Be a detective. 👁️ Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman If The Budda Dated by Charlotte Kasi Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
We spent long long hours talking. Over a year now. We have everything in common. He said he was afraid he could fall in love. We’ve never gone on a date. I just moved closer. But I think he’s holding me safely on the phone. Since professing feelings and asking if it was going anywhere, he said I messed with his head. Now it’s crickets. What gives?
Jonathan, it would be brilliant if you did a Men's Channel and would help many women also, to tune in and listen. In fact a both sex channel with men and women openly discussing on video, would really bring many unresolved issues to light and you guiding both! There is no one out there like you❤
Tell Julie to read and follow The Rules’ guidelines to learn how to create attraction with a man-it teaches a woman self discipline! It’s not up to the man to figure out the solution for a woman’s insecurities. Be a woman who is not like almost every other woman.
Absolutely Jonathon. Hard to get and all that disempowering manipulative nonsense. Empowered women take charge of their relationship destiny.. They're seeking equality, mutuality and reciprocity. I support first wave feminism. Was raised with this.
I’ll look up your recommendation, specially in todays world. I’m not all about behaving like men and compete with them, feminism took a horrible turn since the beginning. I’ve know some older couples that are great. Things worked out so much better than what we are seeing today.
@ 60, I thought I entered into a relationship w someone who wanted a healthy relationship. We married after 2 years ( his wishes) only to divorce 7 months later. An abusive monster was lurking beneath the surface. I realize I was projecting my goodness and kindness into him. He got engaged to someone else before our rapid divorce occurred. Ugh.....
Jann, it's a relief when it ends..You did not deserve to be abused. Weren't there obvious signs of abuse prior to the marriage? You deserve to be safe. 🫂 His pattern will repeat with anyone. Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
I love the Turkish series/movies. I highly recommend Bride of Istanbul... a family story. Israelis loved the show. I think appreciation keeps love alive. Only at times interference or issues can still blow it apart as happened to me.
Please do a talk on below, which happens to me: Men are attracted to me made-up as find me attractive and classy. I often appear unavailable. When I love and give them support they go from an insecure men to themselves elegant and successful they say they love and fancy me but then go off and marry someone else. V painful. Thank you.
This is a fellow Leo. Of course you wear your big heart on your sleeve and dealing with people. In the body parts of astrology Leo rules the heart. so the thing is I go through it also in relationships and with friends and family. Good luck in your next Adventure with whoever you meet next. You can meet that person anywhere if they are genuinely for you. That can be online or face-to-face meeting. For me personally, I am waiting to meet the next person, face-to-face I don’t do online dating.❤
Yes I agree regarding the “practice” of vulnerability makes it “easier”… key is the Self Love, Hope that the person receives well and respectfully and managing your own energy if not well received by another. -Finnegan Begin Again- 😅
I think in our age bracket (baby boomers)…we are Older And more Set in our ways. Also many folks Have financial Challenges in retirement!! So I’d like to add to The info on dysfunction in the dating marketplace !! I am Stable Financially thank goodness but I’m Somewhat guilty of not wanting to Change for someone!! I’d imagine there are men in the same mindset out there. It’s so difficult…I continue to listen to Jonathan. He speaks truth ladies !!
C'mon ladies... we are NOT easy to deal with for men. Realize NOTHING IS PERFECT! No job, no car, no mate, no child.. NOTHING! Outside of God its an aspiration and a self sabotaging belief! Stop and ask yourself if his flaws, because he has them just as YOU do, are something you can live with because you are not gonna change him! Relationships are work people! Be willing to put in the work!❤
Jonathon, can you share what kind of men’s group counseling you’ve been doing? Is it a paid group? Wanting to suggest Group Counseling to my exboyfriend.
John can a guy just miss u bc they are used to u but then why lie and tell the girl that he loves her when he probably really doesn't do you t😅think. He's just used to the person and fear of being alone. Bc the guy is really mean to her . How is that love ? I think the guy is mentally sick and he doesn't really know love then idk there's more to the question that I'm asking
Good point Alicia. Are you safe and okay? Mental and emotional health is important in relationships. Healthy love doesn't correlate with abuse. Your safety and well being iare paramount. There are trauma bonded relationships. The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Safe People by Henry Cloud
Wow! I learned a lot about myself today. Accountability for being emotionally anorexic was the top of it, plus generational baggage and lack of swing what a healthy relationship was. Kudos to my soon 2b ex fir putting up with me fir 25 years! He's a F*ing saint!!! The feedback he gave me was even more appreciative.
I love the Word owner ship for it is only then that i can own my good and bad things and be able to do something about my circumstances and make a change hopefuly for the better.
I think sexy and romantic is ok but when those feelings become physical (at least in my opinion) you must love each other first. That’s just my opinion.
Your awesome, I love the way tour true to you before anything else...thank you even tho when you raise your voice it goes right thru me...must be a reason for that😊
Thank you for bringing into forefront the attachment styles. This was just an eye opener for me to realize that I was an anxious preoccupied and that the person I was in a relationship with triggered that abandonment wound from childhood and I am eternally grateful they did because it sent me on a deeper healing journey into self-love.I appreciate your spiritual wisdom and personal development perspective in the relationship arena for women like myself that are dedicated to their spiritual and personal growth.
Hi Jonathon. Only to clarify that humans did not live alongside dinosaurs. The latter were extinct before we evolved into homo-sapiens. I read that dinosaurs lived with other mammals, such as monkeys but not men and women as we know them today. But I understand where you were coming from with your comment. Thank you. xx
Here in texas and elderly couple ona in the area called dinosaur flats. The children are encouraged to come here for school field.Trips to see that the dinosaur walked in the same path as the humans footsteps. At the same time in life. This is a known fact for a long time.😊
Jonathan, follow your thoughts dearly. Good perspectives. I’m going through my journey, 20 years of marriage, done:( or :) just wanted to say, I am Turkish so was a nice surprise to hear about your roots. Certain traits I believe are still coming from our genes, geography is our destiny:) whenever you think of visiting Istanbul let me know, I live in Europe but can hop on a plane, maybe we all do a singles cultural tour 💪
Jonathon it aggravates me when you don’t address the question straight away but just goes straight into a teaching session. If I got the answer to your one liner that I have clicked on to know the answer, if you gave me that within 5 mins or less, I would be more inclined to watch it all after that, but when you don’t, it just aggravates me and causes me to click off and call it all click bait BS like all the rest. Sorry but it’s false advertising.
Yes, and honestly, therapy doesn't fix or change everyone. There are some people which are treatment resistant and defiant. Incapable of behavioral and lifestyle changes. Someone has to want to change. Change is seen in actions. Have they truly made lasting positive changes? Indeed, later. Next! The same with personal development. Life is about growth, self improvement and change. 🙏
@@Tbn48ibp Thanks for your response, Mari. There are some people that give lip service to therapy and personal growth. However do they embody change? Mental and emotional health impact relationships. I hope you're doing well.
I've certainly said change or goodbye to enough men. Step up or step out! There are some bad and unethical therapists practicing in the industry. A mental health evaluation isn't a requirement to earn a psychology degree.
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Thank you 🤩
If we are watching these type of content it means we are loosing our time with the wrong person. When we are on healthy relationships life goes smooth and you don't have doubts or need any advise.
Indeed
Yes indeed
Not necessarily…if the person watching is unhealthy.. used to toxic traits, and insecurity.. doesn’t mean the other person isn’t the right one.
The biggest problem with women and men in general is that they are unrealistic when it comes to the opposite sex. We are all human, we all have quirks and flaws. No one is perfect. You have to be open to see through all that and see the heart.
So true
Indeed
Well said. Actually too much absence causes disconnection and indifference.
Character and emotional maturity are the most critical component.
James Sexton is excellent!
Amen
Thats what I was getting too. Unrealistic expectations and giving up too easy!
I tell the man if you treat me like a queen, I’ll treat you like a king.
I tell my man I will treat you like a King. I think you should not expect anything in return. Love is given voluntarily. Give and take will flow naturally.
Facts
I desire a balanced relationship. Not one where I’m doing most of the giving.
I learned that when someone initially meets you and they display negativity from the start, think of it as they are doing you a favor, they are showing you who they are, which saves you from wasting your time with them in your search. You can silently bless them on their way that they get the help they need, and you step away and continue to be open to connecting with more positive people around you.
Jonathan is an "open and honest" human being 36:38 who is NOT afraid to offend when telling the truth. I think his communication can sound harsh HOWEVER it is the best kind of communication if you want to really know someone. Shutting a side off will never allow the other person to get to know who you really are. The "take it or leave it" is something you learn through trial and error. As a dating specialist he knows better to say it out loud than keep it in for the sake of "protecting the other" or be too people pleasing!
Yes, no nonsense with out sugar coating anything! 👍
People show you who they are in the first conversation, on day one. .
However dig up the skeletons.
Be a detective. 👁️ Watch for secrets, lies, shady behavior and compartmentalization. Patterns of behavior.
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
I am one hell of a detective, I don't know if I had blinders on or he waited until I was comfortable. he's been shady as hell 😢😢
@@ginaritter6963 Eventually the truth comes out. Shady is as shady does.
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
In this world verify everything!
Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record
I absolutely love how Jonathon articulates himself. He has such a kind energy. I’ve noticed some online mental health gurus tend to have a Machiavellian vibe or energy. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I do appreciate that Jonathon isn’t like that. He seems like he really just wants to inform us.
Awe... thank you 😊
I find this especially true being a widow for almost 2 years I find the men try to play on a replacement need they think I have. He can’t be replaced. I’m looking for a new relationship at this point and don’t want to be played.
I'm a widow 20 months out. I agree with you. I just recently met a healthy, whole, new man who also is widowed. He gets it.
@@bonniejones7919 Glad to hear Bonnie. All the best. 🙏
I feel the same. I have been a widow for 8 years. Yes want a new relationship.
@@bonniejones7919 In 2021 I started
dating a widower only a few months after his wife’s death. Had I known then what a know now I would have told him he wasn’t ready and would have moved on. Instead we dated for two years, and he broke it off 6 months ago only to rebound into a new relationship which also didn’t last. Needless to say he probably needs to take a break from the dating scene and work on himself
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
In this world verify everything. Date like a detective 👁️
Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast
mutual benefit vs. transactional !!
Transactional vs. strong roots !!
Monogamy vs. free for all !!
Commitment and trust !!
Well said Christine!
Gratitude truly changes our entire chemistry. If we would just begin in the same way we learned to pray with ‘hallowed be your name’…
This definitely resonates with me. It seems that the best way to find someone who will appreciate us is by respecting ourselves and realizing we are worth being appreciated! That, along with building a solid foundation of friendship.
Well said!
Agree with your comments. . Building a solid trustworthy friendship.
I love the way John listens so attentively to Jonathan's explanation.
I also agree that John has a very nice smile. Wishing him all the best in his search for love 😊
Indeed 😁
Great question about phone messages via the app! 22:06 your answer so great!! I just love the straight forward way of communicating with us! You are so RIGHT! 👍
Awe... thank you 😊
I don't get why anyone has to "do the work" when everyone around them is just as broken. Even if you do the work, you get with someone who's not great for you, you end up broken again. It seems like the more you "do the work", the more "normal" you become, the greater your chances of ending up alone. It's just so rare to meet a normal, secured, single person in this age bracket. Maybe my chances of getting struck by lightning is higher.
Then, don't do the work and choose a dysfunctional relationship if that makes you happier.
@@JonathonAslay I've already done the work, and still doing the work. I've been "doing the work" for more than 15 years and that's how I was able to say what I did in the previous comment. I have no delusions. What I understand now is that most people are not designed (or destined) for marriage. It is the most obvious thing that we fail to see, because society has sold us a bag of lies. Meaningful relationships exist and can be cultivated, and they don't necessarily have to be of romantic nature. The sooner we can accept this, the less miserable we will be.
I can understand what you’re saying… the more work you do on yourself the more likely you may end up being alone as you are less likely to to meet someone who has done the work on themselves and if you end up dating broken people again it can end up making you broken again. But solution it’s not why should anyone do the work when all around are broken. How about every individual works on themselves & learn about their attachment styles, their patterns etc..Most of the times major problem is people are not even aware they got to do the work like getting to know their attachment styles, level of emotional intelligence they need to develop, understand their insecurities etc..They think all should happen organically. But from my experiences I have realized dating is a skill, maintaining attraction & building long lasting relationships & marriage is a skill which people need to learn, just like any other skill we learn in our professional lives. This ‘work on yourself’ applies to friendships even. We need to have & build awareness in developing social skills & skills in building & maintaining friendships too like creating safe space for other person to open up to you etc... Unfortunately people are willing to enhance their professional skills but not their other intrinsic skills
Well said Etkaa. People have to want to change
@@sherriflemming3218 thank you. Yes exactly the same I realised from my experiences people don't change until they have to. For instance just like during pandemic individuals / companies were kind of forced to develop digital skills & systems until then they were complacent & could not see that it would be unavoidable to survive in future without digitization. And similarly in relationships most people have this notion that my partner should accept me as I am why should I change. And another thing I noticed in friendships & romantic relationships is that the person who says people should accept me as I am are the ones mostly wanting their partner to change but they won't even change an inch to work on their behaviour, for instance an individual's friend repeatedly cancels on them for meeting their partner or on his or her partner repeatedly cancelling on them to meet their friends. They won't be respectful of other person's time & commitment. Both people have to come half way..both have to change a bit to come to the middle ground.
Johnathan, you're just great! This all resonates. We don't talk about the things that really matter about the future. So frustrating!
Interesting perspective which at one time was worried about how a man would view this.
“ How do I make myself not look clingy”.
*1 Knowing what your boundaries are.
*2. Not accepting less.
For me because I have been an anxious attached, I had to step back and acess because I was choosing men who have avoidance type personalities.
This is why I really like Johnathan’s idea that both people feel like they got the best deal.
As far as waiting….. ladies never wait.
I’m learning how to enjoy life and want to share this with a man capable of knowing what he wants and also understands what chivalry is and mutually cherishing their love
John was vulnerable on the call! Way to go John ! Keep building that muscle!
Thank you for holding space for the Golden Ticket. AMEN!
Thanks for being on the hotseat, John All the best!
Great interview!
Thanks for listening
You nail it on The Rules. I burned that ridiculous book years ago! 😄
Thank goodness I don't have abandonment issues. Individuated at 18. Wanted my freedom privacy and independence.
My mother was healthy in teaching us to be independent.
👋Dance, smile, continue with working on yourself even when it is hard & go out there because you are so worth it😀. I totally agree with Jonathan that being grateful even when the life lessons are painful IS the KEY👍. Good luck & stay safe. Cheers😀.
Vulnerability doesn't represent weakness!!! 👍❤
Indeed
Yes, however safety first.
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Safe People by Henry Cloud
@@sherriflemming3218 agree also with that.
@@karinesavard2016 You rock Karine!
Thank you, Jonathon, for saying a dating coach who says follow their formula is totally full of it, I 100% agree with you sir. And thanks to wise advice I no longer look at a man's outer shell I look at his character and how he treats me. And I totally agree with becoming friends first, spend time talking and not focused on having a physical relationship which will cloud anyone's judgement.
Have not listened to you in a week and have missed your voice and passion cussing!!!❤
Wow, thank you
Jonathon, please keep screaming and ranting. It makes my day when you do this ! I feel you. No one comes close to your brutal straight talk, which you put off with seemingly little effort. Thank you again
awe... thank you
Hello John and thanks for
Being brave and sharing. So sorry for your loss !
I love how excited and passionate Jon gets when teaching us. He cares so much and is so kind. 😊
Awe.. thanks ☺️
@@JonathonAslay In hearing your various topics on dating and experiencing true love, it has helped me to realize even more during the grieving I have been going through, how much my late husband of 36 years loved me. He certainly did get it right in his marriage, family life, personal relationships and career throughout his life. He came from a place, as I do from the foundation of respect. Respect of God, self and others. That truly is the basis of a good healthy productive happy life. I do journal on thoughts about his life and our life together, and your instruction vlogs help me to focus in on the topics. I have gained knowledge and introspection about "dating" and relationships from you since I had turned in and really appreciate everything you share with us. I think your tutorials are so affirmative and sorely needed in our society today.
I broke no contact and blocked me. The worst feeling. He was so mean.😕
1hr+ to answer 1 question. I dont need to know that bad thanks.
Noted
😂😂.
Games
And I love your sense of humor with all of this.
Your prayers moved me…Thank you coach Jonathon. Appreciate you to be a channel of blessings to us.❤
I appreciate that
Question: 😊 I was given a man’s phone number. We started chatting on phone. Only 1 live phone call. Still have not met. He mentioned my profile in April already. He is now a very busy guy and lives a good 40 kms from me. No move to meet in person yet although we get on quite well so far. Is he interested or am I just a ‘pen pal’???
Great video Jonathon! Your passion for love and relationships is much appreciated! Keep up the good work! 👍🏻
I appreciate that!
So what is the critical thing that makes him miss you.
Appreciation
Well if appreciation makes him miss me, he ought to be reaching out to me and missing me like mad by now! I appreciate him big time and believe I’ve shown him that, and I believe he has felt it from me, he has even told me himself that he appreciates me too, so he has definitely felt it from me. It does not seem to have made him miss me, that I can see so far anyway. So I think it depends on how INTO you he is. Unfortunately men are like computers, in order to get anything from them, the first thing you have to do, is turn them on. I heard this once and to be honest …. this I have seen to be true.
I love your sense of humor Jonathan.
Thanks
Thanks!
My pleasure 🙏
Please do a video on what questions we should be asking (before the first date) to vet men. You shared that you have not gone on a first date since your breakup, partly because you ask the deep questions. Please share with us what we should be asking.
That's what I teach in my coaching program. Www.jonathonaslay.com/coaching
He has stated some important checklist questions.
Are you dating others? Does anyone else think they're in a relationship with you?
What does a relationship look like for you and mean to you? What does committment look like for you and mean to you? Have you completely healed from all of your past experiences?
You want to get the relationship history asap.
I ask this question. Can you give me your definition of a healthy relationship?
Good luck Michelle! Listen and watch how they treat you.
Safety first. The first conversation - meeting is The Resume. Be a detective. 👁️
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman
If The Budda Dated by Charlotte Kasi
Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
Definitely hearing the message. I like how you dont sugar coat anything as well lol
🙌
We spent long long hours talking. Over a year now. We have everything in common. He said he was afraid he could fall in love. We’ve never gone on a date. I just moved closer. But I think he’s holding me safely on the phone. Since professing feelings and asking if it was going anywhere, he said I messed with his head. Now it’s crickets. What gives?
I agree that couples therapy is an excellent idea for a growing relationship. Another superb video Jonathon! ❤️
Thank you 😊
Some miss what they think they can get from you
I discovered this channel last week, I keep coming back! Thank you. I like the sense of humour...I've been laughing non-stop! 😂😂😂
Glad you enjoy it!
Whenon their first visit where food was missing they will say, " next time I want to taste your hand".
My dad had a head full of black hair like yours Jonathan, up until he passed at the age of 66
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and all your advice.
My pleasure!
Some men embrace freeness.
Great points
The series Another Self is amazing - saw all episodes in one day
Me too... loved it. Happy to hear you felt the same.
Jonathan, it would be brilliant if you did a Men's Channel and would help many women also, to tune in and listen. In fact a both sex channel with men and women openly discussing on video, would really bring many unresolved issues to light and you guiding both! There is no one out there like you❤
Tell Julie to read and follow The Rules’ guidelines to learn how to create attraction with a man-it teaches a woman self discipline! It’s not up to the man to figure out the solution for a woman’s insecurities. Be a woman who is not like almost every other woman.
Games
Absolutely Jonathon. Hard to get and all that disempowering manipulative nonsense. Empowered women take charge of their relationship destiny.. They're seeking equality, mutuality and reciprocity.
I support first wave feminism. Was raised with this.
I’ll look up your recommendation, specially in todays world. I’m not all about behaving like men and compete with them, feminism took a horrible turn since the beginning. I’ve know some older couples that are great. Things worked out so much better than what we are seeing today.
@@Bb-k4gd Yes, couldn’t agree more.
@ 60, I thought I entered into a relationship w someone who wanted a healthy relationship. We married after 2 years ( his wishes) only to divorce 7 months later. An abusive monster was lurking beneath the surface. I realize I was projecting my goodness and kindness into him. He got engaged to someone else before our rapid divorce occurred. Ugh.....
How awful. How old was he?
Jann, it's a relief when it ends..You did not deserve to be abused. Weren't there obvious signs of abuse prior to the marriage? You deserve to be safe. 🫂
His pattern will repeat with anyone.
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
I love the Turkish series/movies. I highly recommend Bride of Istanbul... a family story. Israelis loved the show.
I think appreciation keeps love alive. Only at times interference or issues can still blow it apart as happened to me.
Thats the kind of relationship i would like to have.
The same relationship you just described that you want.
Thsts all I was saying Johnathan.
Protection against the dinosaur?? I'm confused.
Im sorry. Going through similar . We have been together for 5 years. Ive got a lot of decisions to make 😢
Please do a talk on below, which happens to me:
Men are attracted to me made-up as find me attractive and classy. I often appear unavailable. When I love and give them support they go from an insecure men to themselves elegant and successful they say they love and fancy me but then go off and marry someone else. V painful. Thank you.
Honey, you're not the only one in that situation, but you need to read the book.
"Women who love too much"
Excellent book!
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
I am truly honored 2 find u🍒
This is a fellow Leo. Of course you wear your big heart on your sleeve and dealing with people. In the body parts of astrology Leo rules the heart. so the thing is I go through it also in relationships and with friends and family. Good luck in your next Adventure with whoever you meet next. You can meet that person anywhere if they are genuinely for you. That can be online or face-to-face meeting. For me personally, I am waiting to meet the next person, face-to-face I don’t do online dating.❤
I hear you Sylvia! If it's meant to be it will happen.
The key to beginning to find the right ones is eliminating the wrong ones.
If I’m understanding right, the topic of this video might be “A man will start missing me when he feels appreciated and valued”?
Exactly
Right right right! We need to have a reflective partner!
I am so tired of the games. I think when people align in an organic way it is so much better and the people are happier.
Indeed Rozanne
Yes I agree regarding the “practice” of vulnerability makes it “easier”… key is the Self Love, Hope that the person receives well and respectfully and managing your own energy if not well received by another.
-Finnegan Begin Again- 😅
Well said!
Where do you dance? Are you a Westie or a Country Swing Dancer?
What's a westie?
QUESTION: i live in Australia. Id like to discuss the value in doing some dating coaching with you. How shall we make this happen Johnathon?
Here you go www.jonathonaslay.com/coaching
I totally agree Jonathan. Great advice. I love your personality! 😂
Thanks so much!!
Jonathon is a great communicator.
Knowledge is power.
Keep up the good work!
Jonathon is saving people's lives. ❤️
Great video!! 🎉🎉
Glad you liked it!!
Protect against the dinossaurs ??? 🤔😅
I love that you can resist any and all women unless they align
Jonathan Aslay definitely has all the good traits as " the Mr. Rogers... of dating"
That's sweet...
I think in our age bracket (baby boomers)…we are
Older
And more
Set in our ways. Also many folks
Have financial
Challenges in retirement!! So I’d like to add to
The info on dysfunction in the dating marketplace !! I am
Stable
Financially thank goodness but I’m
Somewhat guilty of not wanting to
Change for someone!! I’d imagine there are men in the same mindset out there. It’s so difficult…I continue to listen to Jonathan. He speaks truth ladies !!
Be aware of the opportunists, Mari.
Cooperation and compromise is challenging. We are most aligned with people similar to ourselves.
This is amazing❤❤
Love tou Johnathan. You are so correct ...Love you to be ny best friend. Brilliant xxx 21:42 21:42 21:42 21:42 .
WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you can share this video with friends?
"You women are no picnic either!"
Classic! 😂😂😂
😆
Question.. why can’t we just meet Jonathan? I think you’re a great person to date.
Awe... thank you
C'mon ladies... we are NOT easy to deal with for men. Realize NOTHING IS PERFECT! No job, no car, no mate, no child.. NOTHING! Outside of God its an aspiration and a self sabotaging belief! Stop and ask yourself if his flaws, because he has them just as YOU do, are something you can live with because you are not gonna change him! Relationships are work people! Be willing to put in the work!❤
Exactly
Jonathon, can you share what kind of men’s group counseling you’ve been doing? Is it a paid group? Wanting to suggest Group Counseling to my exboyfriend.
It's my circle of friends
Can recommend him to Jonathon's men's channel. There is men's group counselling.or perhaps personal development seminars.
I missed your most current video 😢
John can a guy just miss u bc they are used to u but then why lie and tell the girl that he loves her when he probably really doesn't do you t😅think. He's just used to the person and fear of being alone. Bc the guy is really mean to her . How is that love ? I think the guy is mentally sick and he doesn't really know love then idk there's more to the question that I'm asking
He's wounded???
Good point Alicia. Are you safe and okay?
Mental and emotional health is important in relationships. Healthy love doesn't correlate with abuse. Your safety and well being iare paramount.
There are trauma bonded relationships.
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Safe People by Henry Cloud
You crack me up, Jonathan! 😂
Lol 😆
Wow! I learned a lot about myself today. Accountability for being emotionally anorexic was the top of it, plus generational baggage and lack of swing what a healthy relationship was. Kudos to my soon 2b ex fir putting up with me fir 25 years! He's a F*ing saint!!! The feedback he gave me was even more appreciative.
Some of the feedback he gave me... is I show no emotion, and vulnerability. I guess I'll continue 2 invest time to read & learn.
Thank you for your advice❤
You're welcome
I love the Word owner ship for it is only then that i can own my good and bad things and be able to do something about my circumstances and make a change hopefuly for the better.
👍🏼
I think sexy and romantic is ok but when those feelings become physical (at least in my opinion) you must love each other first. That’s just my opinion.
I’m wondering What did You write back ?
When?
Do you do live chats Jonathan? That would be great .
Yes, 4 times a week. This video was recorded live...
I don't believe in mindfuc1ng people. Just be your authentic self.
Your awesome, I love the way tour true to you before anything else...thank you even tho when you raise your voice it goes right thru me...must be a reason for that😊
I appreciate that!
Connections problems
Sometimes
Protect against a dinosaur?! 😂
What books would help me with improving my emotional maturity??
The Hoffman Process
Thank you Jonathan. I really appreciate your videos. @@JonathonAslay
Thank you for bringing into forefront the attachment styles. This was just an eye opener for me to realize that I was an anxious preoccupied and that the person I was in a relationship with triggered that abandonment wound from childhood and I am eternally grateful they did because it sent me
on a deeper healing journey into self-love.I appreciate your spiritual wisdom and personal development perspective in the relationship arena for women like myself that are dedicated to their spiritual and personal growth.
❤Amen Thank you 🙏
Wish I lived in California. I would want to meet Jonathan in person.,He’s the type of man I would like to be with. Just saying…
Hi Jonathon. Only to clarify that humans did not live alongside dinosaurs. The latter were extinct before we evolved into homo-sapiens. I read that dinosaurs lived with other mammals, such as monkeys but not men and women as we know them today. But I understand where you were coming from with your comment. Thank you. xx
Not exactly what I meant... but yes, whatever our ancestors were called back then, that's what I meant. 👍🏼
Here in texas and elderly couple ona in the area called dinosaur flats. The children are encouraged to come here for school field.Trips to see that the dinosaur walked in the same path as the humans footsteps. At the same time in life. This is a known fact for a long time.😊
Jonathan, follow your thoughts dearly. Good perspectives. I’m going through my journey, 20 years of marriage, done:( or :) just wanted to say, I am Turkish so was a nice surprise to hear about your roots. Certain traits I believe are still coming from our genes, geography is our destiny:) whenever you think of visiting Istanbul let me know, I live in Europe but can hop on a plane, maybe we all do a singles cultural tour 💪
Thanks for sharing! Maybe someday
We women are not a picnic too😂👍
Indeed 😁
Missing their food
Jonathon it aggravates me when you don’t address the question straight away but just goes straight into a teaching session. If I got the answer to your one liner that I have clicked on to know the answer, if you gave me that within 5 mins or less, I would be more inclined to watch it all after that, but when you don’t, it just aggravates me and causes me to click off and call it all click bait BS like all the rest. Sorry but it’s false advertising.
Dark psychology is real
Can you elaborate?
Correct Living LargeCoaching Counseling..
If your guy refuses therapy and it’s important to you..I say later tater !!!
Yes, and honestly, therapy doesn't fix or change everyone. There are some people which are treatment resistant and defiant. Incapable of behavioral and lifestyle changes. Someone has to want to change.
Change is seen in actions. Have they truly made lasting positive changes? Indeed, later. Next!
The same with personal development.
Life is about growth, self improvement and change. 🙏
@@sherriflemming3218 true very true !!
@@Tbn48ibp Thanks for your response, Mari. There are some people that give lip service to therapy and personal growth. However do they embody change? Mental and emotional health impact relationships. I hope you're doing well.
I've certainly said change or goodbye to enough men. Step up or step out! There are some bad and unethical therapists practicing in the industry.
A mental health evaluation isn't a requirement to earn a psychology degree.