I was 'married' to an abuser for 20 years, i stayed because i took my vows seriously, but in the end i feared for my life and the safety of my children. I separated and he divorced me. My case is currently being reviewd by the marriage tribunal, but regardless of the outcome i cannot imagine attempting marriage again.
The Church has far too many modernists and bishops who have no faith in your ability or God's grace to keep you chaste. There are saints who were sanctified by situations like yours. Trust in Christ.
Doing more than the bare minimum is a mentality that should be applied to any loving relationship. It's disingenuous to say "I love you" when you consistently put in the lowest effort possible, rather than wondering how you can strengthen such bonds.
I wish this topic was recognized more. It was really hard, trying to decide to leave my marriage when it became physically violent. I finally talked to my priest. He determined that my marriage was not valid in the eyes of the church and that I was actually living in a state of mortal sin and should not be receiving communion. I don't recall that he told me to leave, but I remember he was supportive and understanding of my situation. I still am unclear on what the church says about leaving abusive marriages.
Canon Law talks about this. If there is immediate danger where delaying leaving is harmful, one can leave. If not immediate, must bring this issue to your priest/bishop: "A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local ordinary [e.g., bishop] or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority. (CIC 1153)"
@@introvertedcat2021 right. That's his point in the video. If some protestant interpretations were right then logically it would dissolve the marriage which Jesus clearly didn't intend
Your videos have been so so good recently! If these past couple of videos you've uploaded have been the product of your prioritizing your online ministry, I must tell you it's really paid off. Great work!
If I had it to do over again, if I knew then what I know now, I would have gotten a divorce. The Bible makes provision for divorce because God is not cruel. Even He divorced Israel (Jeremiah 3:8). Ecclesiastes 7:16 warns us, "Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise: why should you destroy yourself?" You really shouldn't be using the Bible because you don't understand it.
Christ abrogated the old testament law. If you need to separate, then separate but you are not allowed to divorce and remarry without the church first giving you an annulment.
When I discovered Christianity, I also found this to be very persuasive the Catholics were right especially when it came to comparing to the Eastern Orthodox churches.
🎄🎄I realized that the secret to making a million is saving for better investment. I always tell myself you don't that new Maserati or that vacation just yet. That mindset helped me make more money investing. For example last year I invested 80k in stocks and made about $246k, but guess what? I put it all back and traded again and now I am rounding up close to a million*.
She is my family' personal Broker and also a personal Broker to many families in the United states, she is a licensed broker and a FINRA AGENT in the United States.
After I raised up to 325k trading with her. I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom
YES!!! That's exactly her name (Elizabeth Ann Hanson ) so many people have recommended highly about her and am just starting with her from Bristol England🏴🏴
Every case is different. A couple that stays together "for the sake of the children" but presents those children with constant mutual animosity and strife can cause far more harm to the children than if they would separate.
If divorce/remarriage is permissible in cases of infidelity it creates a morally contradictory framework where unfaithful spouses have the "privilege" of access to divorce, while faithful spouses who want to get divorced can't, because they haven't committed adultery.
That's utterly illogical - talking about it as if it was a loophole. Adultery is an extreme sin that kills the marriage. In many languages adultery has the literal meaning of "breaking the marriage". Also, the second marriage in Orthodoxy is not a real marriage. The Church Fathers mention it constantly.
I married for love and made full commitment to my husband and never thought that I would think of divorce and I thought he wanted the same. After 22 years of marriage and three children I want a divorce because of the trauma he caused me and my children by his infidelities, lies, deceit and emotional and psychological abuse. I became his doormat and it took me a long time to figure out what was really happening and that I was abused. I am a devout catholic wife who loves Jesus and the decision to divorce I did not take lightly. It also came after consulting with my priest. My husband’s behavior and actions did not change and it got just worse and he shows no accountability and empathy for what he did to me and our family.
My parents divorced and remarried and it left me mentally scared and traumatized. I'm just letting you know what will happen to your kids. If you are separated and you discuss this with your children it may help them.
Annulment. Someone who does not commit to their marital vows and does not believe in getting their spouse to heaven is essentially an apostate spouse. Someone who is unrepentant in the most grave ways towards their own spouse clearly does not love God.
No one should have to put up with infidelity - I do get his point though about it could be used as copout to get out a marriage. Want a divorce? - just cheat and it is sorted!
0:54 it's the personality type, not that fact that they have experienced their parents divorce. They inherit that personality type. That's why it's (on average) a safer bet to marry someone who does not come from divorced parents.
Thank you....we have been slowly going thru this long and difficult journey as remarried Catholics, we remain outside of communion, confession and have started the tribunal process we leave in Gods hands.
We can talk forever about the laws of man, and biblical commands etc etc. But in the end if a marriage fails with no hope of reconciliation, then what is a couple to do? Stay together, for Gods sake, for society sake. Surly, support, understanding and God given love and compassion is the way to go. What is the point of staying together. In ancient Ireland before the christian era, according to the then Brehon Law, a young couple could stay together for one year as a trial - if it worked they stayed together, if not separate.
Love is a decision. If there is no love in a marriage, then both parties need to actively decide to love their spouse again, as they did when they were first married.
My personal opinion on marriage is this, divorce should be allowed in cases where the martial vows or the spirit of marriage is being violated. For example, I consider a husband abusing the wife and kids to be a violation of marriage as the husband is supposed to protect and care for them, not hurt them. Thus divorce should be allowed in such cases. This might not be the Christian view on marriage, but I can't in good conscience, as someone who came from an abusive household, be against people divorcing because the marriage is abusive. No fault divorce should absolutely be abolished though.
Confessional Lutherans believe in binding and loosing sins. We have confession and absolution and haven't changed on divorce. The only reason we have a different number of sacraments is because we define them as the means of the forgiveness of sins.
I grew up Lutheran and nobody ever talked about confession. One day I asked a pastor if we had something similar to the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation and he said they did. To this day I talk to Lutherans in their old age who never heard of such a thing and I realize that it's never been important to them even in light of Lutheran theology. Same with divorce and remarriage: they couldn't care less and, say, an LCMS pastor will just remarry anyone and never inquire into the previous marriage. This is just my experience and I mean no disrespect. I still go to Lutheran services with family but I've long since moved on. God bless you, brother.
There needs to be some way out of a abusive or cruel marriage but also the commitment needs to be for life through thick or thin. Tricky where to draw the line in some cases as everyone behaves badly sometimes but where does the occasional bad behaviour tip over into an abusive situation. Adultery seems more clear cut but even after divorce (even if not religious) are they really separate? I know couples still living together or still caring for ill spouses even after no longer being together. Clear rules about what is/isn't acceptable behaviour would help but those have gone completely out the window in secular society.
Hello! I pray 3 rosaries a day! Is that enough or is it maybe too much? It takes me around 15 minutes or up to 20 minutes to pray 1 holy rosary. So, 1 hour of prayer a day or even less. Do you think this is a good foundation alongside going to Sunday Mass? I also want to go to the confession but I am afraid to do so because of my po*n addiction and I feel shame.
Go to Confession. No prayer can make up for that. It is the sacrament that brings you again to the state of grace. And do not think of your prayer in this way. More prayer doesn’t necessarily bring you closer to God, it’s not about the number of prayers or the time you spend praying.
You are doing well, my friend... But Don't be shame all of us are sinners, and we need a doctor our Loord Jesus christ, confession is a kind of soul cleaner, that because of our Lord's mercy help us in the fight against of those kinds of addictions, and don't be afraid of falling again that is normal, because our Lord Jesus not just will declare you rightgeous, he will make you rightgeous... He will transform you and that process is painful, don't be afraid just be faithful... Go to confession that is going to heal You...
I went to confession multiple times a week for years for that same sin. I’ve now been clean for 8 months, due in large part to Confession. Don’t give up, Christ has grace waiting for you in the sacrament of confession.
☦️Of course it is forbidden to divorce, hence it is only allowed if there is no other choice & even then only 3 times. Just like living a life of rich Capitalist is condemned by Christ (for all the so called "priests" here who try & justify living in luxury).
Does God allow divorce? Does God allow freedom of will to eat from the tree, or not? My own parents divorced, but they later remarried each other. Then my father passed away soon thereafter, but that was not necessarily related to the divorce choices.
“For I hate divorce, says the Lord the God of Israel, and covering one’s garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So take heed to yourselves and do not be faithless.” (Malachi 2:16) Something God hates cannot be a Sacrament.
Thank you everyone for your comments, even the protestants! After reading many comments and hearing that Jesus already died for our sins and saved us makes sense why he would give us a foundation to build from. But the "works" is HOW our souls are judged. The flames is just how we're shined like a penny. We never lose our value and salvation. We're just dirty pennies. Our works is how clean we keep ourselves in the meantime. You all are amazing. ❤ God loves us all!!! Your faithful acts keeps you clean. Because we believe! 🎉
Praise to God Almighty!!!!'m favoured, $140k every 3weeks! I can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church. God bless America 🇺🇸❤️❤️❤️❤️
I raised 75k and Kate Elizabeth Becherer is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York City
I know that woman (Kate Elizabeth Becherer) If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, she's my family's Broker for 3yrs till now and a very good one if you asked me. No doubt she is a good woman.
Well, if God has ever even been said to allow divorce by anybody, or separation, we all know God is evil... and that's *how* we're to discern: does any one thing He's ever taught teach even one man that it'd be okay to do wrong? If yes, regardless of what else was going on: He Himself is the very devil *while* He remains divine, and that one tidbit of this detail is all we're to focus on until we find out beyond any possible doubt or failure at all.
"Infidelity"... the Greek word "pornea" (I'm probably spelling that wrong) is debated for what it refers to. In 1 Corinthians the man is in sexual relationship with his father's wife described as "pornea". I think it might have to do with pagan temple prostitutes. I do not think "pornea" is adultery or Infidelity. The OT prophet married a prostitute to demonstrate God's faithfulness to an adulterous Israel. Marriage is a reflection of God's marriage to the Church and us. We are "adulterous" to God and He is faithful to us. We also need to be like God and be faithful to our spouse.
Doesnt matter what the bible says. In my oersonal experience and testimony of god, he breaks his own promises and words anyway. He engineered divorce in my life so to me, his words mean squat.
@Shnitzel_Affe I didn't break my vows. My ex did and so did God bc God made ME a specific promise. And he broke it. Dont you dare judge me for what you know nothing of.
I was 'married' to an abuser for 20 years, i stayed because i took my vows seriously, but in the end i feared for my life and the safety of my children. I separated and he divorced me. My case is currently being reviewd by the marriage tribunal, but regardless of the outcome i cannot imagine attempting marriage again.
I am sorry for the pain you underwent by the person you committed your life to. I hope that you find peace and comfort in God.
Annulment is a thing
The Church has far too many modernists and bishops who have no faith in your ability or God's grace to keep you chaste. There are saints who were sanctified by situations like yours. Trust in Christ.
Doing more than the bare minimum is a mentality that should be applied to any loving relationship. It's disingenuous to say "I love you" when you consistently put in the lowest effort possible, rather than wondering how you can strengthen such bonds.
I wish this topic was recognized more.
It was really hard, trying to decide to leave my marriage when it became physically violent. I finally talked to my priest. He determined that my marriage was not valid in the eyes of the church and that I was actually living in a state of mortal sin and should not be receiving communion. I don't recall that he told me to leave, but I remember he was supportive and understanding of my situation.
I still am unclear on what the church says about leaving abusive marriages.
Canon Law talks about this. If there is immediate danger where delaying leaving is harmful, one can leave. If not immediate, must bring this issue to your priest/bishop:
"A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local ordinary [e.g., bishop] or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority. (CIC 1153)"
I never thought of remarrying being adultery which would dissolve the original marriage. That's a good point
It does not dissolve the original marriage.
It doesn’t. That’s the excuse people who divorce use. Not what Jesus meant.
@@introvertedcat2021 right. That's his point in the video. If some protestant interpretations were right then logically it would dissolve the marriage which Jesus clearly didn't intend
Your videos have been so so good recently! If these past couple of videos you've uploaded have been the product of your prioritizing your online ministry, I must tell you it's really paid off. Great work!
If I had it to do over again, if I knew then what I know now, I would have gotten a divorce. The Bible makes provision for divorce because God is not cruel. Even He divorced Israel (Jeremiah 3:8). Ecclesiastes 7:16 warns us, "Do not be overly righteous, nor be overly wise: why should you destroy yourself?"
You really shouldn't be using the Bible because you don't understand it.
Christ abrogated the old testament law. If you need to separate, then separate but you are not allowed to divorce and remarry without the church first giving you an annulment.
When I discovered Christianity, I also found this to be very persuasive the Catholics were right especially when it came to comparing to the Eastern Orthodox churches.
The Catholic church is the one that came up with marriage consisting in a contract. ;-)
🎄🎄I realized that the secret to making a million is saving for better investment. I always tell myself you don't that new Maserati or that vacation just yet. That mindset helped me make more money investing. For example last year I invested 80k in stocks and made about $246k, but guess what? I put it all back and traded again and now I am rounding up close to a million*.
How?..
Am a newbie in crypto investment, please can you guide me through on how you made profit?
It's Elizabeth Ann Hanson's doing, she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.
She is my family' personal Broker and also a personal Broker to many families in the United states, she is a licensed broker and a FINRA AGENT in the United States.
After I raised up to 325k trading with her. I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸
also paid
for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom
YES!!! That's exactly her name (Elizabeth Ann Hanson ) so many people have recommended highly about her and am just starting with her from Bristol England🏴🏴
Every case is different. A couple that stays together "for the sake of the children" but presents those children with constant mutual animosity and strife can cause far more harm to the children than if they would separate.
If divorce/remarriage is permissible in cases of infidelity it creates a morally contradictory framework where unfaithful spouses have the "privilege" of access to divorce, while faithful spouses who want to get divorced can't, because they haven't committed adultery.
That's utterly illogical - talking about it as if it was a loophole.
Adultery is an extreme sin that kills the marriage. In many languages adultery has the literal meaning of "breaking the marriage".
Also, the second marriage in Orthodoxy is not a real marriage. The Church Fathers mention it constantly.
@@2anthranilicacid In other words, adultery is stronger than God? (Grave impediments to a valid marriage is a different matter to this)
@@Waldemarvonanhalt Uh, no. But that also has nothing to do with this.
Take it up with the consensus of the Church Fathers, if you disagree with them.
the unfaithful spouses DON'T have access to it. Only the offended part could contract a blessed second union
Your approach to the question is a very Protestant-like. Don’t overthink and check what the Church teaches.
I married for love and made full commitment to my husband and never thought that I would think of divorce and I thought he wanted the same. After 22 years of marriage and three children I want a divorce because of the trauma he caused me and my children by his infidelities, lies, deceit and emotional and psychological abuse. I became his doormat and it took me a long time to figure out what was really happening and that I was abused.
I am a devout catholic wife who loves Jesus and the decision to divorce I did not take lightly. It also came after consulting with my priest. My husband’s behavior and actions did not change and it got just worse and he shows no accountability and empathy for what he did to me and our family.
My parents divorced and remarried and it left me mentally scared and traumatized.
I'm just letting you know what will happen to your kids. If you are separated and you discuss this with your children it may help them.
Annulment. Someone who does not commit to their marital vows and does not believe in getting their spouse to heaven is essentially an apostate spouse. Someone who is unrepentant in the most grave ways towards their own spouse clearly does not love God.
No one should have to put up with infidelity - I do get his point though about it could be used as copout to get out a marriage. Want a divorce? - just cheat and it is sorted!
0:54 it's the personality type, not that fact that they have experienced their parents divorce. They inherit that personality type. That's why it's (on average) a safer bet to marry someone who does not come from divorced parents.
Thank you....we have been slowly going thru this long and difficult journey as remarried Catholics, we remain outside of communion, confession and have started the tribunal process we leave in Gods hands.
We can talk forever about the laws of man, and biblical commands etc etc. But in the end if a marriage fails with no hope of reconciliation, then what is a couple to do? Stay together, for Gods sake, for society sake. Surly, support, understanding and God given love and compassion is the way to go. What is the point of staying together.
In ancient Ireland before the christian era, according to the then Brehon Law, a young couple could stay together for one year as a trial - if it worked they stayed together, if not separate.
Check out Life Giving Wounds, which is a Catholic ministry for adult children of divorce.
Praise be Jesus Christ! The Latin Mass has totally saved me and my family. I’ve never felt more connected to God!
Don't forget. God is love. If there is no love in your marriage, then there is no God in your marriage.
Food for thought.
Love is a decision. If there is no love in a marriage, then both parties need to actively decide to love their spouse again, as they did when they were first married.
Which type of Love is Our Lord ?
Going through one now. So awful
My personal opinion on marriage is this, divorce should be allowed in cases where the martial vows or the spirit of marriage is being violated. For example, I consider a husband abusing the wife and kids to be a violation of marriage as the husband is supposed to protect and care for them, not hurt them. Thus divorce should be allowed in such cases.
This might not be the Christian view on marriage, but I can't in good conscience, as someone who came from an abusive household, be against people divorcing because the marriage is abusive.
No fault divorce should absolutely be abolished though.
Well I guess it was "permitted", but never actively willed by God
Excellent video!
Confessional Lutherans believe in binding and loosing sins. We have confession and absolution and haven't changed on divorce. The only reason we have a different number of sacraments is because we define them as the means of the forgiveness of sins.
Lutherans have no Sacraments except maybe Baptism
I grew up Lutheran and nobody ever talked about confession. One day I asked a pastor if we had something similar to the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation and he said they did. To this day I talk to Lutherans in their old age who never heard of such a thing and I realize that it's never been important to them even in light of Lutheran theology. Same with divorce and remarriage: they couldn't care less and, say, an LCMS pastor will just remarry anyone and never inquire into the previous marriage. This is just my experience and I mean no disrespect. I still go to Lutheran services with family but I've long since moved on. God bless you, brother.
lutheran never consider marriage as sacrament. that the main issue.
Would love to hear and know more about the Church's indisputable authority over even heaven, and how this intertwines with God's authority
There needs to be some way out of a abusive or cruel marriage but also the commitment needs to be for life through thick or thin. Tricky where to draw the line in some cases as everyone behaves badly sometimes but where does the occasional bad behaviour tip over into an abusive situation. Adultery seems more clear cut but even after divorce (even if not religious) are they really separate? I know couples still living together or still caring for ill spouses even after no longer being together. Clear rules about what is/isn't acceptable behaviour would help but those have gone completely out the window in secular society.
Hello! I pray 3 rosaries a day! Is that enough or is it maybe too much? It takes me around 15 minutes or up to 20 minutes to pray 1 holy rosary. So, 1 hour of prayer a day or even less. Do you think this is a good foundation alongside going to Sunday Mass? I also want to go to the confession but I am afraid to do so because of my po*n addiction and I feel shame.
Confession will help you get over your p*orn addiction. It helped me. P*rn free for years now. I'm only ashamed I didn't confess earlier
Go to Confession. No prayer can make up for that. It is the sacrament that brings you again to the state of grace. And do not think of your prayer in this way. More prayer doesn’t necessarily bring you closer to God, it’s not about the number of prayers or the time you spend praying.
You are doing well, my friend...
But Don't be shame all of us are sinners, and we need a doctor our Loord Jesus christ, confession is a kind of soul cleaner, that because of our Lord's mercy help us in the fight against of those kinds of addictions, and don't be afraid of falling again that is normal, because our Lord Jesus not just will declare you rightgeous, he will make you rightgeous... He will transform you and that process is painful, don't be afraid just be faithful... Go to confession that is going to heal You...
Watch Matt Fradd videos on the topic.
I went to confession multiple times a week for years for that same sin. I’ve now been clean for 8 months, due in large part to Confession. Don’t give up, Christ has grace waiting for you in the sacrament of confession.
Good video.
3 Hail Marys for your intentions, particularly for your marriage 🌹🌹🌹🙏🏻✝️
☦️Of course it is forbidden to divorce, hence it is only allowed if there is no other choice & even then only 3 times. Just like living a life of rich Capitalist is condemned by Christ (for all the so called "priests" here who try & justify living in luxury).
Does God allow divorce?
Does God allow freedom of will to eat from the tree, or not?
My own parents divorced, but they later remarried each other. Then my father passed away soon thereafter, but that was not necessarily related to the divorce choices.
Your parents "split up?" What did you mean by that?
Read the description.
We’re all sinners, move on and love Jesus he forgives you
After being married to a bonified narcissist for twenty years, I found divorce to be a sacrament too. I have not regretted a day being away from her.
Calling divorce a sacrament is disgusting.
@@GiovanniJD absolutely
“For I hate divorce, says the Lord the God of Israel, and covering one’s garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So take heed to yourselves and do not be faithless.”
(Malachi 2:16)
Something God hates cannot be a Sacrament.
The truth is that if you are married through the catholic church, you're still married. The church allows for separation in extreme cases
@@justawanderingranger2234you are not still married if the Church grants you an annulment
Thank you everyone for your comments, even the protestants! After reading many comments and hearing that Jesus already died for our sins and saved us makes sense why he would give us a foundation to build from. But the "works" is HOW our souls are judged. The flames is just how we're shined like a penny. We never lose our value and salvation. We're just dirty pennies. Our works is how clean we keep ourselves in the meantime. You all are amazing. ❤ God loves us all!!! Your faithful acts keeps you clean. Because we believe! 🎉
We can lose are salvation if we die in the state of mortal sin.
Praise to God Almighty!!!!'m favoured, $140k every 3weeks! I can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church. God bless America 🇺🇸❤️❤️❤️❤️
God bless you more abundantly for your generosity
But then, what do you do? How do you come about that in that period?
Thanks to Mrs Kate Elizabeth
I raised 75k and Kate Elizabeth Becherer is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York City
This is a definition of God's unending provisions for his people. God remains faithful to his words. I receive this for my household❤️
I know that woman (Kate Elizabeth Becherer) If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, she's my family's Broker for 3yrs till now and a very good one if you asked me. No doubt she is a good woman.
Well, if God has ever even been said to allow divorce by anybody, or separation, we all know God is evil... and that's *how* we're to discern: does any one thing He's ever taught teach even one man that it'd be okay to do wrong? If yes, regardless of what else was going on: He Himself is the very devil *while* He remains divine, and that one tidbit of this detail is all we're to focus on until we find out beyond any possible doubt or failure at all.
Jesus said that divorce was permitted in the case of infidelity.
Anyone saying that it's not, is attempting to be holier than God.
"Infidelity"... the Greek word "pornea" (I'm probably spelling that wrong) is debated for what it refers to. In 1 Corinthians the man is in sexual relationship with his father's wife described as "pornea". I think it might have to do with pagan temple prostitutes.
I do not think "pornea" is adultery or Infidelity. The OT prophet married a prostitute to demonstrate God's faithfulness to an adulterous Israel.
Marriage is a reflection of God's marriage to the Church and us. We are "adulterous" to God and He is faithful to us. We also need to be like God and be faithful to our spouse.
@@classicalteacher Pure sophism, but I bet that it would get a big round of applause from the Pharisees.
Actually, the original means "unlawful" , such as marrying someone you are too closely related to.
I don't know, but for me, third time's the charm. 🙃
Doesnt matter what the bible says. In my oersonal experience and testimony of god, he breaks his own promises and words anyway. He engineered divorce in my life so to me, his words mean squat.
When did god break his word? It’s not like god forced you to break your vows
@Shnitzel_Affe I didn't break my vows. My ex did and so did God bc God made ME a specific promise. And he broke it. Dont you dare judge me for what you know nothing of.
@@kyleesharp378 calling God a liar is wild
@@marcoadmiralis_1497 he can prove me wrong anytime he wants.