Exact! I am married to one for 20y now. It is disgusting. But I did not know what is going on until recently. I will leave him as soon as I have prepared a secure space for my children and me.
Oh hunny sorry to hear what you are going through. I married someone that was like that as well...mentally and emotionally was abusing me, became an alcoholic and lie looking in my eyes telling me I was imagining things. I tried to escape and finally before our 13 annv. My boys and I found refuge in a women's shelter. Best thing ever! I am still married to him, but separated 11 years...no intentions of going back, but I listened to someone say if you stay married you can't make the same mistake. Agreed with that idea, but now I am ready to divorce and finally started dating again this year. *Btw if you have belongings that are special and worried he will destroy...try to secretly pack them up and store at a relatives or get a storage unit...it's what I did and glad too. I'm sure he'd have given stuff to his family like he did other belongings of mine. Many good blessings to find you and your kids a safe place and lots of joy. 💖
Well, I must say, the world of narcissism is a fascinating one. While many people are aware of overt narcissism, where individuals display grandiose behavior and seek constant attention, covert narcissism is a whole different ballgame. Covert narcissists are masters at hiding their true selves and manipulating those around them. And yes, they do have some rather peculiar habits that set them apart from the rest of us. One weird habit of covert narcissists is their constant need for validation. Unlike overt narcissists who seek validation through external means, covert narcissists have a more sneaky approach. They often fish for compliments or sympathy by subtly dropping hints or making self-deprecating comments. They feed off the reassurance and affirmation they receive from others, and this habit can become quite exhausting for those who have to constantly boost their fragile egos. Another strange habit of covert narcissists is their tendency to play the victim. They are skilled at playing the sympathy card and making others feel sorry for them. They will twist situations to make themselves appear as innocent victims, even when they are the ones who caused the problem in the first place. This habit allows them to manipulate others into feeling guilty or responsible for their actions, ultimately gaining control over their emotions and actions. Covert narcissists also have a knack for gaslighting, which is a rather disturbing habit. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist distorts reality or denies certain events to make their victim doubt their own perception and sanity. They will subtly twist facts, change narratives, or even outright lie to make others question their own reality. It's an insidious habit that can leave victims feeling confused, doubting themselves, and trapped in an emotionally abusive cycle. Lastly, covert narcissists have a peculiar habit of being overly sensitive to criticism. They simply cannot handle any form of negative feedback or constructive criticism, often reacting with extreme defensiveness or passive-aggressive behavior. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are above reproach. This habit can make it incredibly challenging to have any meaningful conversations with them or address any issues that may arise in a healthy manner. In conclusion, covert narcissism is a complex phenomenon that manifests in various weird habits. From seeking constant validation, playing the victim, gaslighting, to being overly sensitive to criticism, these individuals possess a unique set of traits that can be both intriguing and challenging to deal with. It's important to be aware of these habits so that we can recognize and protect ourselves from their manipulative tactics. Moreover, I could've gotten hurt from the impact of been cheated on. I'm glad that i got to know ASAP, through METASPYCLUBLLC@GMAIL. COM and I appreciate the content you put out for us .
The most comprehensive explanation of the covert I have ever read! Absolutely spot on. I had to deal with the overt, but the covert is the sneakiest, nastiest, most dangerous who love to break not just your heart, but your entire being. They will go after family and friends, until you are alone, bewildered, thinking ' but surely they know me better'...or 'they've known me all my life?' Nope. Always right, don't dare even inadvertently criticise if you want to avoid an explosion. They won't change. Avoid at all costs.
Good Lord I feel like you're describing every little thing my son-in-law👹 does to my daughter 💔. And to the rest of us. He constantly loves to rewrite history whether it was 2 yrs ago or 1 hour ago it's always rewritten to make him the special snowflake. His👹 favorite thing to do is pit my young grandchildren against me & each other. He's 👹 absolutely vile. In his👹 case he's abusive to his wife in every way imaginable💔😢 Threatening to Blackmail filled with all lies to CPS is another favorite when he👹 doesn't get his way. Saying she'll have to prove herself innocent before CPS gives them back & good luck with that he says💔. No money for a Divorce Lawyer😒 (70 yr old Military 🎖️ Widow income) with almost half a dozen Little's to financially support because he's an Evil👹Abusive Freeloading Leech. Best I can hope for is extraterrestrials🛸👽 will beam him up & keep him for experimentation ... for ♾️🙃
My narc NEVER looks me in the eye when talking to me. He side-eyes me to see what I'm doing while he's responding or while I'm talking. This is spot ON! When he wanted me to do something, he would say, "Hey, lucey (our DOG) wants to see if you'll wash clothes now," or some other request.
I booked a surprise trip for my daughter to see her favorite band in the UK next year. I woke up at 3 am to get the tickets. I did so much research on where to stay and I was SO excited. So, so, so excited. I told him and told him how proud of myself I was and how happy I was and he said "Do you even have a passport?" . When I said I have ten months to get one so it's fine, he said "How can you even afford it? That has to be more than you make in three months". 🙃 Nothing even resembling "Awesome! " Or "Have fun!".
@@spilleditEven if that's true, you're missing her point. He's trying to destroy her enjoyment. He's attempting to rain on her parade. His actions are not driven by financial conserns. He hates to see her happy. Her being happy does not contribute to his control.
@@spilledit That's very judgemental of you. This woman could have been saving her money for 6 months specifically for the concert and travel expenses - or much longer. Her partner was trying to destroy the happiness she felt at achieving her goal of going to the concert with her daughter. And so are you. What she does with her own money is her business. You have no right to judge her. I'm very happy that this lady will get to see the concert with her daughter and I hope they have an amazing time.
Last year, I had a "friend" like that. I found it odd that the tone of her voice changes between the moment she talks to me, and then, when she talks to someone we meet on the street: her attitude also changed, it was as if she had a very good time, even if she complained to me the second before. that reminded me an other behavior of an other friend who turned narc after a really hard time (I saw her changing drastically day after day). I spent 15 days in her home, she was in morocco for work, it was nice, until it wasn't. and one evening she decided to invite some friends, and while she was tidying her place (with my help), she started behaving differently, she put some music, too loud, and started pretending being joyful and cool. she wasn't happy to see these people again. it wasn't that. she was planting a decor and exercising in her role. her guests were not even there yet, and she already was pretending. at that moment I didn't know what a narc was, but afterwards, I realized she just show me right in front of my eyes who she really was. the problem is, if you don't know what a narc is, you can think that they are being more open, intimate, vulnerable with you, because they let you witness a part of their personality they don't show to anybody. reality is, they don't bother with you because you don't worth their effort. they already own you, so they don't care. that's all. the way I should have spotted my ex's narcissism: 1- he was depressed, thought life was shit (he said), but when it came to do actual things that would have made his life better, there always was a reason to not do them, or he would fail them in the most stupid ways (I assume, on purpose). it was impossible to uplift his mood, and to help him. covert narc love the role of the victim. they'd do anything to wear that costume. ANY-THING. 2- he never supported me: I lived feeling lonely at his side, it was even worse, because on certain occasions when people attacked me, he took sides with them against me. Yeah, he did that... whatever I wanted to do, he only saw the problems, never a word of encouragement, and in the worst case, he fed me with fear, guilt, shame, discouragement to make me abandon my plans. 3- the only moment I saw him laugh was when he could make fun of someone else. he could not laugh with people, he needed to laugh about them. and about me. but beware if YOU laugh about him! when everybody was happy and having fun, he never shared this happiness and used to stand or sit somewhere in a corner and talk about how life is difficult for him. "if you want to know someone watch him in the moments of joy" is a german saying. I think this saying is about how to spot a narcissist. these are my tips to chase covert narcs. thanks for the new tips!
@@heatherhall3452 believe me, you will, and it will be a "haha!" moment. take your time. (my last point explains this saying anyway, read it again and plan on how you will watch people's laugh from now on).
Danish, I can't believe how ACCURATE you are, especially the intense, 'loving', spiritual being looking into my soul! 😰 Gasp! This is exactly what I experienced when I met the narc, I ended up marrying! The intensiveness of this seemingly loving stare, seemed to look right into my very soul and I mistook it for deep love! THEN as soon as we were married, the truth came out in two horrifying ways. 1. He was an abusive alcoholic who would literally slobber his food at the table (having cleverly hidden this from me as we courted because as we were Christians, we didn't live together before marrying), he would walk out on me and sleep in the car some nights. 2. THEN came the day I was cleaning and discovered a letter from a one night stand he'd had and SHE said exactly the same thing in the letter! She bemoaned that she knew adultery was wrong but she couldn't resist his powerful magnetism and sadly apologised to him that she was a little over weight but wanted him back! Dear Lord! What could I do now?? I saw it all in a second of time but as a struggling single mother of 2 teenagers, I tried to brush it aside and get on with life. Yes and he would constantly stare at me wherever we went and I used to think how charming until I later caught him staring at EVERY woman (and children!) - especially women's cleavages when they bent over in front of him. THAT was so obvious, that I used to feel embarrassed because other people could see it too and I was the bunny with him! I even caught him giving that same 'loving' stare at women in the check out queue but when confronted, he'd brush it off as nothing. Needless to say, things just went from bad to worse until now, I am a shell of the person I used to be, chronically ill and unable to sleep. We are now separated but the agony still lives in my body and soul! People, DO NOT fall for these monsters with their powerful charm and promises of a fairy-tale future together but GET OUT while you can! 😭
@@heatherhall3452 So sorry to hear this, Heather 😢 Praying that you are hastily and totally delivered from all haunting hangovers from this devastating experience. However, I take it that you too are a Christian? In that case, there is still hope. Remember Jesus told Peter that satan had desired him to sift him as wheat? I truly believe that this same sifting has been let loose in our lives but take courage, Beloved, Jesus also said that HE would pray that when that time came - Luke 22:32 "But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." Peter's faith of Who Jesus is was not from 'flesh and blood' "but by My Father in Heaven and upon this Rock I shall build My Church and the gate of hell shall not prevail"
the only thing my mother has ever been 100% right about when she would berate me is im the devils daughter i looked at her n was about to react n i stopped n got really calm n said omg mom u r absolutely right... if she could have set me on fire with the look marshmallows on me for a yr
OMG, my narc used to make fun of me all the time. Push my buttons and insult me. I have a thick skin and I don't mind if people joke at my expense, providing the joke is actually clever. But he just flat out insulted me and passed it off as mild teasing and when I protested it wasn't funny, he gaslit me that I had no sense of humour and then proceeded to dig the boot in even more. It didn't matter what reaction I gave, he ALWAYS found a way to turn it back on me and I came out of the whole thing looking like a fool and feeling humiliated. I often wonder how many people would actually be left in the world if all the narcs just up and vanished from the Earth. There might not be a lot of people, but man, would it be peaceful.
Oh My Goodness!!! The phone calls ... I never realized it was from the narcissism!! I've been wondering forever why I'm left to listen to a silent phone connection or listen to a conversation with someone else. And all of the other points are so spot on, I feel you've been living in my house.
My ex would call me and then suddenly be busy with something. When I asked, I got a 'I'm a divergent.I can split my attention and multitask.....why I know very was nonsense but just went with it.😢😂😂😂
Yes, an ex friend of mine was like that, to an extent. When my brother passed away last summer, I really needed someone to talk to when she and I were doing errands. Her reaction? She laughed! Then she said that she wanted to talk about her new grandbaby! Two weeks later, she came around me again. She said that she wanted to talk about my brother's death! I just told her that I didn't want to discuss it at that time, then she started talking about another issue of hers. 😢
My childhood best buddy was definitely a covert narcissist. He contacted me after nearly 20 years last december and we were actually best friends again, chatting and talking for hours. Mostly political and religious discussions. I did notice many things after some time. And its true, they do devalue you. He is a taxi driver now since 20 years, still kept devaluing me where ever he could: I'm not married yet, so was devalued. And he constantly bought up very old memories going back to 5th or 6th class. Also, what he did was use the word narcism very often. And always in a sly, non audible way. I asked him if he was diagnosed ever. Thats when he broke contact lol. PS: not saying that taxi drivers shudnt be proud. Just that devaluing other ppl is never justified. And specially not in a manner where the other person notices it but cant respond coz its an indirect attack.
God... I'm 35 and I was raised and conditioned by the mother who is a malignant narcissist - a psycopath with cover narcissism survival strategy. She is really a devil. What disgust me most is that she led me to become a devil myself just to beat her in her own game. I've not won cause it's not possible, but I cut herself out of me and chained dead to another supply. Had to leave all my relatives and all people that I was around for years because all of them kept telling me that nothing special was going on and all I hace to do is mature and think less about my mother. But it's her cover and psychopathic abuse made me think about my security, pain, loss and her danger 24/7 for the whole 35 years of my life. I never loved her. But she made me believe that I have to love her cuz he's the mon and lives me most in the world. Uhh, can speak about it for hours. Really brain damaged.
Exactly like mine. You are not alone and in the end you will win. I wished I had other goals in my life than constantly fight for my freedom from that devil but as you say can never let your guard down because they are very dangerous and capable of the most unspeakable. Lots of strenght, I belive in the end all will make sense and justice will prevail
Spot on. All these signs. .spot on. Watching your videos comforts me to an extent, i realize that I'm not alone in experiencing these.things. thank you
These forums are essential for our recovery, Michelle. I have separated from my narc 'husband' but still suffer physical, emotional and spiritual trauma as a result. Even now, I can look at him and marvel at just HOW charming, handsome and likeable he is and how I could STILL be dragged back into his whirlpool of darkness. Videos like this help to keep me on track. God bless you as you recover, dear one. ❤🩹
Oh, then my mother is an OVERT Narcissist. She doesn't care enough about me to even pretend to care about my feelings or those of other people. My bad. Thank you for clearing that up.
Believe me covert is worse. You are always confused about youre mother because she seems so sweet and innocent but then stabs you. My mother is a covert one 😢
My mother was overt to my face and front of everyone in our household, she taught people to disrespect me. In front of other people including extended family she was so covert most people never noticed what a monster she was. I had people telling me how lucky I was to have a mother like her. The truth was my mother was nice as pie to other people but treated all her kids like dirt, but she reserved a special disdain for me (the scapegoat)
My mother must be on a scale. I was absolutely the scapegoat, but it took quite a while to figure out that the call was coming from inside the house! She sabotaged me so many times. My mind just couldn't believe it. Until finally my eyes couldn't deny it.
My mother was the same. She'd be yelling at us (or my Dad) about something, but when the phone rang and she answered it, she put on a fake, nice, everything-is-ok voice. Truly sickening. 🙄
My covert narcissistic husband hates when " I " look at him, it's usually not the other way around. I truly believe he knows that I know who and what he truly is, and that I actually can see him behind his face mask. It freaks him out. It's spiritual.
You completely saved me with these videos. I felt crazy and that no one would ever understand how evil he has always been. He's absolutely 2 faced. One for myself and 2 of our kids and another for everyone else and our 2nd child. Can't have all the kids know who he is or his plan won't work. His mother is overt and he knew he could catch more flies with honey. He's truly an evil monster with no conscience at all. He's risked our lives on numerous occasions. He's just awful and yes. I got the kids and I away from him in Dec after over 18 yrs of abuse. When he started doing it to our kids I finally saw the real him and got us out of there. Kids were no use to him because they were old enough to listen to me and see what he was doing. Everything is a lie and I mean everything and no one understands how messed up that is
So true, but you will see them when you are alone with them, they show a different side when they are around people and you are around them, too me they are the worst kind and they are more dangerous 👹
100%! Also, before I started studying psychology I had been hurt very much by many "friends'" and family's remark as I was a professional knitter and designer in the past but never wanted to make it my profession as I did it to make my living when I couldn't find a better job that "if they were me they would open their own fashion brand and become famous designers to make a fortune" and were just furious that I said I am not interested, I have different priorities in life! They would start ever so slightly mock me that with such a talent I'm just wasting it. I would tell them that if they are interested themselves let them learn how to knit and crochet and pursue this career. But they would say that they don't know how to do it, it's so difficult and only I could be so patient! It wasn't to encourage me! They always started as if making a compliment how beautiful it is but then put me down that I'm wasting my talent and how many more items do I need as I told them that right now I'm not making it to survive and I can afford to make whatever I like only for MYSELF! Always such a malice all of a sudden like if I can make something unique with my own hands for myself I insult THEM! It always puzzled me before as I never compare myself with anyone and never shamed anyone for not doing as I do :-). What is more, they tried to find flaws in my shape like: "It's so nice but if you make more physical exercises and take a better care of your shape you'll get rid of your a bit too big belly and it will look just perfect on you!" If you try to tell them to look at themselves and notice their own bigger paunch and take care of it they just look so happy and ask: "Did you get offended? You are so sensitive! I admire you and your work! I can see better from the outside and just want you to look perfect!"... And if you get involved in this nonsense that I didn't ask you what to do and make yourself as perfect as you like they just become happier as they suck your energy and it goes on and on and proving to them that you are really offended which makes their day and their life! But you remember what they told you, you are not going to change your life at all but at least a bit it kills your joy... But no contact as much as possible and psychology really helps! :-)
I am SO grateful to have witnessed & experienced covert narcissism growing up to inform me about other humans. As hard as it was, I may have ended up with covert narcs outside of my family, had I been uninitiated into these despicable behavioral patterns-I’ve NEVER had plans to marry or breed, and I’ll be a half-century old this year…I’m glad I was able to break all of the intergenerational cycles of dysfunction. 🙏 I’m from an all-narc family, but my sister really ticks of every point made here in this video. ✅ She’s always had grandiose dreams, and admires those who are in the limelight (BIGLY fangirls over Trump), but lacks the personality & talent to achieve them, so she spends each & every day passive-aggressively pouting over all the “unfairness” for her in life. 😂 🙄
Thanks so much for this. I really needed to hear this today. Unfortunately I gaslight myself at times and need a fresh dose of validation. Especially the evil spirit within. I have experienced the demons in my family members all too often and I'm so glad I don't live with them anymore. Keep up the awesome content. I appreciate it so much because I know you are coming from a place of experience in the abuse and I can relate to you so much. You are truly a life saver, God bless you Danish.
They lift you only to drop you from way up there and when you will crash, it will break all your bones😢🤕😪 Nothing can be more true than this statement.
My mother had the worst possible facial expressions and combinations to use all the time. She would scowl during our conversations when I was explaining to her what I learned at theaters, comedy clubs and coaches for acting and voice use. She acted so confused and asked "voice coach?!" What's a voice coach?! With scowls. I explained that they normally are used professionally by air traffic control schools to get rid of accents. And that they are skilled enough to teach accents. Told her they were at Lawrence Tech. Scowls and puckered up angry looks as if suckng on a rat turd. That's just one example. "OH Dennis..." would be her comment. WTF Now I know WTF.
@@nea.skitsa probably a false grin. Learned in acting classes that expression and body language are truth. Most people aren't actors and if they even try it's laughable to other actors or EMPATHIC people.
A couple of people are coming to mind here. The part about poison wrapped in honey reminded me of a backhanded compliment that I received from one of my sisters recently. After my boyfriend passed away, and I went back to work, a few days later, she said, "I'm so glad you were able to do that." Is that really something that most people wouldn't be able to do, after losing a loved one, or does she see me as somehow less capable than other people? She also tries to make me feel like I'm not capable of making any important decisions or handling certain situations on my own, as if I'm a perpetual child who will always need Mom, her, or one of my other sisters to watch over me. It sometimes makes me want to run away, to get as far away from her, and the rest of my family, as I can.
The Final line..Inferior,frustrated,anxious,confused,fear...eveything am experiencing..I would like to know..whether a malignant Narcissist would have the characteristics of a covert Narcissist..My husband behaves now like a covert..saying he changed..I mever believe him hereafter and my intuitiion warns me in all the level..THIS am asking FOR AN AWARENESS..AS HE IS NOT SHOWING HIS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR AND SUBTLY DOING EVEYTHING AND IT BRINGS ME A VERY MUCH PAIN
Gaslighting tactics in an overt form that make you question your own ability to assess and conclude correctly as well as to why if you are the cause of said behavior, but they are covertly establishing hierarchical dominance and trying to manipulate the context so they devalue you and hopefully forces the outcome favorably for their own devious needs. Example: You live in a two apartment building with a shared lawn/ pool area to be utilized by all tenants. The neighbor upstairs letting her dog out to defecate and making the area uninhabitable and dis-functional for its proper use. She says that the dog is getting out somehow and she doesn’t know how it’s able to open two locked gates.. Every time you and your loved ones are outside talking or living day to day, doors get slammed either hard or softly in different tempos, just to let you know that you are nuisance. She says she takes the dog for long walks but every time the dog “gets out” it leaves a heap of feces on the lawn/ nearby pool area( in front of our door) that would indicate that it hasn’t been walked for at quite some time… This is just the tip of the proverbial and metaphorical iceberg, add to that the instagram posts where she flaunt herself training in attire that would be suitable for any proud porn “actress” but she is a nurse and of course she cares for the elderly and the sick.. Their actions NEVER matches with their so-called persona and character they portray.. The covert version is the worst of them all because they are very effective at hiding their true intent. They are djinn ( Demons) flaunting as “Overt loving members of the community” These are the types of wicked beings that works in hospitals and neglects to feed their patients, wheel demented and paraplegic people into rooms, turn off the lights make them sit there for 30 minutes or more while they are out taking pictures of themselves with other patients that they can manipulate to give them their narc supply..
My husband was such a fun, outgoing, spiritual guy at church. Everyone loved him and that's why I married him. But after the wedding, when we moved in together, he wanted absolut submission. Any thought he had from from the Holy Spirit, and any contradicting thought I had was from Satan. But at church he was charming and funny. Being on stage at church was his main source of supply: teaching a class, leading a Bible study, playing guitar, greeting the new people. There was no way I could convince anyone that I was unhappy. When my depression started to show at church, he just told everyone that I was crazy. And it made perfect sense: he was the life of the party, and I was moping around and stopped coming to church. When we would go for marriage counseling at the church, there he was, being charming and saying, "something is wrong with my wife", and I was too afraid to tell the truth because I knew he would give me hell when we got home if I did. Of course, there answer was always that I needed MORE church, MORE Bible study, MORE prayer, and MORE submission. It was an old-boy's club of keeping the women under their thumbs. There was no way those MALES were going to side with me.
My dad was actually the same. He always was the most kind and funny man around my friends. But he actually was a very nasty man at home. And nobody would believe me 😢
That stare🫣 terrible and disgusting experience to only few weeks ago I realised my sister I am dealing with is a covert narcissist. I raised her, I taught her supported her (still), now nurturing her children, spend on her.... But utilising every new situations and turning points just to display her new manifestation techniques to gaslight me, to make me loose my mind.. under passive aggression 3.5 years without knowing.. When I told you probably have covert narcissism she accepted but it seems she can't help.
I just found out my boyfriend of two years is a covert narcissist I just found out he's married with kids and his wife is currently pregnant now and he lied about still being married and having a child on the way
My husband for 23 years is a covert narcicist now I know, he has another supply.. hmm I moove regardless I know that supply will soon discover who he is
My entire relatives are narcs. I was scapegoated like crazy!!! My grandma is the biggest enabler ever and one of those religious narcs. I’m beyond tired of it and then and will be vindicated. I escaped thanks to God and God only. All glory will forever only go to the most high. My sperm donor also enabled them like crazy. These people are sick but God will expose them all.
My covert narcissistic psychopath mother would make my pets disappear when I was at school because she had noticed a special bond between us. I never saw that cat again most likely she threw him on the streets somewhere. She opened the parakeets cage to let em fly away in a city in the Wintertime. Figured out a special bond with a classmate at 6 years old immediately made me change school and never saw her again. As I became a teen she would go talk to my friends parents to convince them not to have their kids see me again. She would force me to stay in the Countryside every Summer where she had a tennent with about 20 cahined dogs and he would beat the shit out of them for hours to end every night I was there. She d say it was good so he would not have beaten his kids up, pretty sure he was too. One Summer he took the dog he used to beat up the most finally for a walk. About 10 minutes later he was dragging his carcass had shot him in the head. That was all fun for my empathic mother. I can go on and on with isolation abuse physical and mental. My father also a narcissist would stay gone the most he could, absent father sometimes he was there in my memories. I left my home I was 17 and never returned, I travelled across the World and lived in many Countries. People always had the feeling I was running from something but could never understand what and why. I ended up marrying and then divorcing a man just like my mother. As I was able to find alternate families of friends along my way I was never able to have an healthy relationship with a partner. Best for my own good to understand that once and for all:)
Well I'm convinced my grandson's father is a covert malignant he rarely talks he has recluse tattooed on his back. You can ask Virginia my question and just get a Blank Stare. Or I see how he does my daughter I read the letters he wrote yes I did he'll ask like 10 questions and asked her to write a detailed explanation on her feelings about every single question and why she feels the way she does. He tries to act analytical and educated and he's not he didn't want my daughter around me when we were together and now he has custody of my grandson threw her in the streets I had custody the first 7 years of his life cuz she wouldn't parent and now he won't let me see my grandson as close as we are it's killing me however I didn't know about these people and I did expose him. I really think he might be a psychopath
Perhaps this is a dumb question. I am aware that from a clinical standpoint, the MBTI has little, if any, value, but it's the only vocabulary I have for this. The INFJ is called a "social chameleon" because they tend to adapt to environment or individual, which is said to be a function of an empathic ability to provide people what is needed. Is this social chameleon quality separate from what the covert narcissist does? Or is it an indication that a person is a covert narcissist?
This is a classic example of the behavior of a religious narcissist. If you express any disagreement with her on anything, she gets outraged and claims that you are not agreeing with God Himself or His Word. This is how it sounds: "Why do you want absolutely transform this conversation into a debate between you and me? I presented the Word of God. Go fight with God and let Him know about your opinion, tell Him know you despise His Word where He says what shall nurture our minds. It was never a fight between you and me. You can be mad at me for telling what God says about our minds, but you cannot make His Word disappear." By the way, the arrogance of this person is off the charts.
Oh. So you think you're special now? I told my husband I'll have to shut up.David downer oh but did it if they think to take the trash out to the road on trash day all by themselves and they gotta tell you about it and then you gotta pat him on the head and say good job little boy good job
Break the Trauma Bond in 5 Steps:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/breaking-the-trauma-bond
Exact! I am married to one for 20y now. It is disgusting. But I did not know what is going on until recently. I will leave him as soon as I have prepared a secure space for my children and me.
The same situation of my mom
I dodged that ball and raised the second son alone. Horrible either way. 😢❤
Oh hunny sorry to hear what you are going through. I married someone that was like that as well...mentally and emotionally was abusing me, became an alcoholic and lie looking in my eyes telling me I was imagining things. I tried to escape and finally before our 13 annv. My boys and I found refuge in a women's shelter. Best thing ever! I am still married to him, but separated 11 years...no intentions of going back, but I listened to someone say if you stay married you can't make the same mistake. Agreed with that idea, but now I am ready to divorce and finally started dating again this year. *Btw if you have belongings that are special and worried he will destroy...try to secretly pack them up and store at a relatives or get a storage unit...it's what I did and glad too. I'm sure he'd have given stuff to his family like he did other belongings of mine. Many good blessings to find you and your kids a safe place and lots of joy. 💖
Me too.
I have learned what I am dealing with 💔
God bless you and your children.
Well, I must say, the world of narcissism is a fascinating one. While many people are aware of overt narcissism, where individuals display grandiose behavior and seek constant attention, covert narcissism is a whole different ballgame. Covert narcissists are masters at hiding their true selves and manipulating those around them. And yes, they do have some rather peculiar habits that set them apart from the rest of us. One weird habit of covert narcissists is their constant need for validation. Unlike overt narcissists who seek validation through external means, covert narcissists have a more sneaky approach. They often fish for compliments or sympathy by subtly dropping hints or making self-deprecating comments. They feed off the reassurance and affirmation they receive from others, and this habit can become quite exhausting for those who have to constantly boost their fragile egos. Another strange habit of covert narcissists is their tendency to play the victim. They are skilled at playing the sympathy card and making others feel sorry for them. They will twist situations to make themselves appear as innocent victims, even when they are the ones who caused the problem in the first place. This habit allows them to manipulate others into feeling guilty or responsible for their actions, ultimately gaining control over their emotions and actions. Covert narcissists also have a knack for gaslighting, which is a rather disturbing habit. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist distorts reality or denies certain events to make their victim doubt their own perception and sanity. They will subtly twist facts, change narratives, or even outright lie to make others question their own reality. It's an insidious habit that can leave victims feeling confused, doubting themselves, and trapped in an emotionally abusive cycle. Lastly, covert narcissists have a peculiar habit of being overly sensitive to criticism. They simply cannot handle any form of negative feedback or constructive criticism, often reacting with extreme defensiveness or passive-aggressive behavior. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are above reproach. This habit can make it incredibly challenging to have any meaningful conversations with them or address any issues that may arise in a healthy manner. In conclusion, covert narcissism is a complex phenomenon that manifests in various weird habits. From seeking constant validation, playing the victim, gaslighting, to being overly sensitive to criticism, these individuals possess a unique set of traits that can be both intriguing and challenging to deal with. It's important to be aware of these habits so that we can recognize and protect ourselves from their manipulative tactics. Moreover, I could've gotten hurt from the impact of been cheated on. I'm glad that i got to know ASAP, through METASPYCLUBLLC@GMAIL. COM and I appreciate the content you put out for us .
The most comprehensive explanation of the covert I have ever read! Absolutely spot on. I had to deal with the overt, but the covert is the sneakiest, nastiest, most dangerous who love to break not just your heart, but your entire being. They will go after family and friends, until you are alone, bewildered, thinking ' but surely they know me better'...or 'they've known me all my life?' Nope. Always right, don't dare even inadvertently criticise if you want to avoid an explosion. They won't change. Avoid at all costs.
Good Lord I feel like you're describing every little thing my son-in-law👹 does to my daughter 💔. And to the rest of us.
He constantly loves to rewrite history whether it was 2 yrs ago or 1 hour ago it's always rewritten to make him the special snowflake.
His👹 favorite thing to do is pit my young grandchildren against me & each other. He's 👹 absolutely vile.
In his👹 case he's abusive to his wife in every way imaginable💔😢
Threatening to Blackmail filled with all lies to CPS is another favorite when he👹 doesn't get his way. Saying she'll have to prove herself innocent before CPS gives them back & good luck with that he says💔.
No money for a Divorce Lawyer😒 (70 yr old Military 🎖️ Widow income) with almost half a dozen Little's to financially support because he's an Evil👹Abusive Freeloading Leech.
Best I can hope for is extraterrestrials🛸👽 will beam him up & keep him for experimentation ... for ♾️🙃
“Confusion is KEY.” Exactly.
My narc NEVER looks me in the eye when talking to me. He side-eyes me to see what I'm doing while he's responding or while I'm talking. This is spot ON! When he wanted me to do something, he would say, "Hey, lucey (our DOG) wants to see if you'll wash clothes now," or some other request.
Good grief.
Yeah, they think they are funny.
Mine always wore sunglasses inside as well as outside
@@kerryannmoor5908 He doesn't want you to see his lying eyes!
Get away from your narc before its too late
I booked a surprise trip for my daughter to see her favorite band in the UK next year. I woke up at 3 am to get the tickets. I did so much research on where to stay and I was SO excited. So, so, so excited. I told him and told him how proud of myself I was and how happy I was and he said "Do you even have a passport?" . When I said I have ten months to get one so it's fine, he said "How can you even afford it? That has to be more than you make in three months". 🙃 Nothing even resembling "Awesome! " Or "Have fun!".
Wellll your daughter is so lucky to have you❤ You gonna get the passport,gonna have a super safe and fun journey to UK. Keep going🎉
No, he's correct on this one. This sounds financially irresponsible.
@@spilleditEven if that's true, you're missing her point. He's trying to destroy her enjoyment. He's attempting to rain on her parade. His actions are not driven by financial conserns. He hates to see her happy. Her being happy does not contribute to his control.
Be strong and save yourself
@@spilledit That's very judgemental of you. This woman could have been saving her money for 6 months specifically for the concert and travel expenses - or much longer. Her partner was trying to destroy the happiness she felt at achieving her goal of going to the concert with her daughter. And so are you. What she does with her own money is her business. You have no right to judge her. I'm very happy that this lady will get to see the concert with her daughter and I hope they have an amazing time.
Last year, I had a "friend" like that. I found it odd that the tone of her voice changes between the moment she talks to me, and then, when she talks to someone we meet on the street: her attitude also changed, it was as if she had a very good time, even if she complained to me the second before.
that reminded me an other behavior of an other friend who turned narc after a really hard time (I saw her changing drastically day after day). I spent 15 days in her home, she was in morocco for work, it was nice, until it wasn't. and one evening she decided to invite some friends, and while she was tidying her place (with my help), she started behaving differently, she put some music, too loud, and started pretending being joyful and cool. she wasn't happy to see these people again. it wasn't that. she was planting a decor and exercising in her role. her guests were not even there yet, and she already was pretending.
at that moment I didn't know what a narc was, but afterwards, I realized she just show me right in front of my eyes who she really was. the problem is, if you don't know what a narc is, you can think that they are being more open, intimate, vulnerable with you, because they let you witness a part of their personality they don't show to anybody. reality is, they don't bother with you because you don't worth their effort. they already own you, so they don't care. that's all.
the way I should have spotted my ex's narcissism:
1- he was depressed, thought life was shit (he said), but when it came to do actual things that would have made his life better, there always was a reason to not do them, or he would fail them in the most stupid ways (I assume, on purpose). it was impossible to uplift his mood, and to help him.
covert narc love the role of the victim. they'd do anything to wear that costume. ANY-THING.
2- he never supported me: I lived feeling lonely at his side, it was even worse, because on certain occasions when people attacked me, he took sides with them against me. Yeah, he did that... whatever I wanted to do, he only saw the problems, never a word of encouragement, and in the worst case, he fed me with fear, guilt, shame, discouragement to make me abandon my plans.
3- the only moment I saw him laugh was when he could make fun of someone else. he could not laugh with people, he needed to laugh about them. and about me. but beware if YOU laugh about him! when everybody was happy and having fun, he never shared this happiness and used to stand or sit somewhere in a corner and talk about how life is difficult for him. "if you want to know someone watch him in the moments of joy" is a german saying. I think this saying is about how to spot a narcissist.
these are my tips to chase covert narcs.
thanks for the new tips!
@@heatherhall3452 believe me, you will, and it will be a "haha!" moment. take your time.
(my last point explains this saying anyway, read it again and plan on how you will watch people's laugh from now on).
Danish, I can't believe how ACCURATE you are, especially the intense, 'loving', spiritual being looking into my soul! 😰
Gasp! This is exactly what I experienced when I met the narc, I ended up marrying!
The intensiveness of this seemingly loving stare, seemed to look right into my very soul and I mistook it for deep love!
THEN as soon as we were married, the truth came out in two horrifying ways.
1. He was an abusive alcoholic who would literally slobber his food at the table (having cleverly hidden this from me as we courted because as we were Christians, we didn't live together before marrying), he would walk out on me and sleep in the car some nights.
2. THEN came the day I was cleaning and discovered a letter from a one night stand he'd had and SHE said exactly the same thing in the letter!
She bemoaned that she knew adultery was wrong but she couldn't resist his powerful magnetism and sadly apologised to him that she was a little over weight but wanted him back!
Dear Lord! What could I do now?? I saw it all in a second of time but as a struggling single mother of 2 teenagers, I tried to brush it aside and get on with life.
Yes and he would constantly stare at me wherever we went and I used to think how charming until I later caught him staring at EVERY woman (and children!) - especially women's cleavages when they bent over in front of him. THAT was so obvious, that I used to feel embarrassed because other people could see it too and I was the bunny with him!
I even caught him giving that same 'loving' stare at women in the check out queue but when confronted, he'd brush it off as nothing.
Needless to say, things just went from bad to worse until now, I am a shell of the person I used to be, chronically ill and unable to sleep.
We are now separated but the agony still lives in my body and soul!
People, DO NOT fall for these monsters with their powerful charm and promises of a fairy-tale future together but GET OUT while you can! 😭
@@heatherhall3452 So sorry to hear this, Heather 😢
Praying that you are hastily and totally delivered from all haunting hangovers from this devastating experience.
However, I take it that you too are a Christian?
In that case, there is still hope. Remember Jesus told Peter that satan had desired him to sift him as wheat?
I truly believe that this same sifting has been let loose in our lives but take courage, Beloved, Jesus also said that HE would pray that when that time came - Luke 22:32
"But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren."
Peter's faith of Who Jesus is was not from 'flesh and blood' "but by My Father in Heaven and upon this Rock I shall build My Church and the gate of hell shall not prevail"
Covert narc....street angel...house devil....secret life....
🎯
Absolutely right you are...devil and angel
the only thing my mother has ever been 100% right about when she would berate me is im the devils daughter i looked at her n was about to react n i stopped n got really calm n said omg mom u r absolutely right... if she could have set me on fire with the look marshmallows on me for a yr
The damn secret life.
Is how sweet a close relative is in public but within family plays both types of Narzisst, it can only be unholy
OMG, my narc used to make fun of me all the time. Push my buttons and insult me. I have a thick skin and I don't mind if people joke at my expense, providing the joke is actually clever. But he just flat out insulted me and passed it off as mild teasing and when I protested it wasn't funny, he gaslit me that I had no sense of humour and then proceeded to dig the boot in even more. It didn't matter what reaction I gave, he ALWAYS found a way to turn it back on me and I came out of the whole thing looking like a fool and feeling humiliated.
I often wonder how many people would actually be left in the world if all the narcs just up and vanished from the Earth. There might not be a lot of people, but man, would it be peaceful.
IKR?!
The smirk. I swear to goodness I could hear that smirk down the phone, if I wasn't seeing it in person 😑
Oh My Goodness!!!
The phone calls ... I never realized it was from the narcissism!! I've been wondering forever why I'm left to listen to a silent phone connection or listen to a conversation with someone else.
And all of the other points are so spot on, I feel you've been living in my house.
My ex would call me and then suddenly be busy with something. When I asked, I got a 'I'm a divergent.I can split my attention and multitask.....why I know very was nonsense but just went with it.😢😂😂😂
People are popping into my mind as you speak. Yes, I see clearly now.
Thank you!
He calls me but then won’t say anything at all when I answer. When he finally speaks he acts as if I called him and he’s annoyed.
My kids mom does this.
Okay maybe this is no longer narcissism.It is madness.
It’s beyond weird. My grandma does this. Tf is the point of calling then
Yes, an ex friend of mine was like that, to an extent. When my brother passed away last summer, I really needed someone to talk to when she and I were doing errands. Her reaction? She laughed! Then she said that she wanted to talk about her new grandbaby! Two weeks later, she came around me again. She said that she wanted to talk about my brother's death! I just told her that I didn't want to discuss it at that time, then she started talking about another issue of hers. 😢
Wishing you a Happy Birthday, Danish! Thank you for all your help to us!
My childhood best buddy was definitely a covert narcissist. He contacted me after nearly 20 years last december and we were actually best friends again, chatting and talking for hours. Mostly political and religious discussions.
I did notice many things after some time. And its true, they do devalue you. He is a taxi driver now since 20 years, still kept devaluing me where ever he could: I'm not married yet, so was devalued. And he constantly bought up very old memories going back to 5th or 6th class.
Also, what he did was use the word narcism very often. And always in a sly, non audible way. I asked him if he was diagnosed ever. Thats when he broke contact lol.
PS: not saying that taxi drivers shudnt be proud. Just that devaluing other ppl is never justified. And specially not in a manner where the other person notices it but cant respond coz its an indirect attack.
Can't believe it, mom was easier to put up with when I simply thought her insane but knowing she's both? Much too much, not manageable in the least!
God... I'm 35 and I was raised and conditioned by the mother who is a malignant narcissist - a psycopath with cover narcissism survival strategy. She is really a devil. What disgust me most is that she led me to become a devil myself just to beat her in her own game. I've not won cause it's not possible, but I cut herself out of me and chained dead to another supply. Had to leave all my relatives and all people that I was around for years because all of them kept telling me that nothing special was going on and all I hace to do is mature and think less about my mother. But it's her cover and psychopathic abuse made me think about my security, pain, loss and her danger 24/7 for the whole 35 years of my life. I never loved her. But she made me believe that I have to love her cuz he's the mon and lives me most in the world. Uhh, can speak about it for hours. Really brain damaged.
Exactly like mine. You are not alone and in the end you will win. I wished I had other goals in my life than constantly fight for my freedom from that devil but as you say can never let your guard down because they are very dangerous and capable of the most unspeakable. Lots of strenght, I belive in the end all will make sense and justice will prevail
Amazing DANISH!!!! How do you know these things… It’s EXACTLY TRUE AND TRUE.
I've had to deal with this behavior with doctors.Medical people who bent on trying to cover up medical in spiritual abuse.
Spot on. All these signs. .spot on. Watching your videos comforts me to an extent, i realize that I'm not alone in experiencing these.things. thank you
These forums are essential for our recovery, Michelle.
I have separated from my narc 'husband' but still suffer physical, emotional and spiritual trauma as a result. Even now, I can look at him and marvel at just HOW charming, handsome and likeable he is and how I could STILL be dragged back into his whirlpool of darkness.
Videos like this help to keep me on track.
God bless you as you recover, dear one. ❤🩹
Oh, then my mother is an OVERT Narcissist. She doesn't care enough about me to even pretend to care about my feelings or those of other people. My bad. Thank you for clearing that up.
Believe me covert is worse. You are always confused about youre mother because she seems so sweet and innocent but then stabs you. My mother is a covert one 😢
My mother was overt to my face and front of everyone in our household, she taught people to disrespect me. In front of other people including extended family she was so covert most people never noticed what a monster she was. I had people telling me how lucky I was to have a mother like her. The truth was my mother was nice as pie to other people but treated all her kids like dirt, but she reserved a special disdain for me (the scapegoat)
@@Kelly-oe8kr I am really sad about hearing that. I send you much love❤️
My mother must be on a scale. I was absolutely the scapegoat, but it took quite a while to figure out that the call was coming from inside the house!
She sabotaged me so many times. My mind just couldn't believe it. Until finally my eyes couldn't deny it.
It was shown by phone from the other side of the world that I was dealing with a very tricky covert. And not to anymore with my heart too open. ❤
they always want to ''save you''!
#2 called the ex to tell him that we were going to have our first child. " Oh okay. I have to go eat dinner now." He was at work but come on.
Similar happened to me
i always knew when my mother had company by the way she spoke to me on the phone
😂😂😂 true
Me too.
My mother was the same. She'd be yelling at us (or my Dad) about something, but when the phone rang and she answered it, she put on a fake, nice, everything-is-ok voice. Truly sickening. 🙄
@@SpikeLover1863 😂😂😂 my mom too
Thank You so Much for the Education into Narcisimn
Seems I Was seeing one. Finally planned an escape, went just as I planned.
Now for the healing. 😊❤😊
My covert narcissistic husband hates when " I " look at him, it's usually not the other way around. I truly believe he knows that I know who and what he truly is, and that I actually can see him behind his face mask. It freaks him out. It's spiritual.
You completely saved me with these videos. I felt crazy and that no one would ever understand how evil he has always been. He's absolutely 2 faced. One for myself and 2 of our kids and another for everyone else and our 2nd child. Can't have all the kids know who he is or his plan won't work. His mother is overt and he knew he could catch more flies with honey. He's truly an evil monster with no conscience at all. He's risked our lives on numerous occasions. He's just awful and yes. I got the kids and I away from him in Dec after over 18 yrs of abuse. When he started doing it to our kids I finally saw the real him and got us out of there. Kids were no use to him because they were old enough to listen to me and see what he was doing. Everything is a lie and I mean everything and no one understands how messed up that is
So true, but you will see them when you are alone with them, they show a different side when they are around people and you are around them, too me they are the worst kind and they are more dangerous 👹
Yes, I can't be alone with my oldest sister. She shows a whole different side of herself when I'm alone with her, and it's scary.
Covert Narcissist are true chameleons !! 😮
I have experienced all this😢
Thats an accurate description of my paternal aunt and both cousins whom ive always held in high regard.
Thank you for your amazing videos... I would request you to make a video on a spiritual covert narcissist ....thank you
100%! Also, before I started studying psychology I had been hurt very much by many "friends'" and family's remark as I was a professional knitter and designer in the past but never wanted to make it my profession as I did it to make my living when I couldn't find a better job that "if they were me they would open their own fashion brand and become famous designers to make a fortune" and were just furious that I said I am not interested, I have different priorities in life! They would start ever so slightly mock me that with such a talent I'm just wasting it. I would tell them that if they are interested themselves let them learn how to knit and crochet and pursue this career. But they would say that they don't know how to do it, it's so difficult and only I could be so patient! It wasn't to encourage me! They always started as if making a compliment how beautiful it is but then put me down that I'm wasting my talent and how many more items do I need as I told them that right now I'm not making it to survive and I can afford to make whatever I like only for MYSELF! Always such a malice all of a sudden like if I can make something unique with my own hands for myself I insult THEM! It always puzzled me before as I never compare myself with anyone and never shamed anyone for not doing as I do :-). What is more, they tried to find flaws in my shape like: "It's so nice but if you make more physical exercises and take a better care of your shape you'll get rid of your a bit too big belly and it will look just perfect on you!" If you try to tell them to look at themselves and notice their own bigger paunch and take care of it they just look so happy and ask: "Did you get offended? You are so sensitive! I admire you and your work! I can see better from the outside and just want you to look perfect!"... And if you get involved in this nonsense that I didn't ask you what to do and make yourself as perfect as you like they just become happier as they suck your energy and it goes on and on and proving to them that you are really offended which makes their day and their life! But you remember what they told you, you are not going to change your life at all but at least a bit it kills your joy... But no contact as much as possible and psychology really helps! :-)
Thank you, always for your awesome awesome videos.
From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI
I am SO grateful to have witnessed & experienced covert narcissism growing up to inform me about other humans. As hard as it was, I may have ended up with covert narcs outside of my family, had I been uninitiated into these despicable behavioral patterns-I’ve NEVER had plans to marry or breed, and I’ll be a half-century old this year…I’m glad I was able to break all of the intergenerational cycles of dysfunction. 🙏
I’m from an all-narc family, but my sister really ticks of every point made here in this video. ✅
She’s always had grandiose dreams, and admires those who are in the limelight (BIGLY fangirls over Trump), but lacks the personality & talent to achieve them, so she spends each & every day passive-aggressively pouting over all the “unfairness” for her in life. 😂 🙄
Exactly ! When I hear you it’s like I myself am am talking ! It’s my ex covert spiritual narc hubbie .
Thanks so much for this. I really needed to hear this today. Unfortunately I gaslight myself at times and need a fresh dose of validation. Especially the evil spirit within. I have experienced the demons in my family members all too often and I'm so glad I don't live with them anymore. Keep up the awesome content. I appreciate it so much because I know you are coming from a place of experience in the abuse and I can relate to you so much. You are truly a life saver, God bless you Danish.
Thank-you for all you do Danish.
Some people are happy when you progress; others, not so much.
They lift you only to drop you from way up there and when you will crash, it will break all your bones😢🤕😪
Nothing can be more true than this statement.
My mother had the worst possible facial expressions and combinations to use all the time. She would scowl during our conversations when I was explaining to her what I learned at theaters, comedy clubs and coaches for acting and voice use. She acted so confused and asked "voice coach?!" What's a voice coach?! With scowls. I explained that they normally are used professionally by air traffic control schools to get rid of accents. And that they are skilled enough to teach accents. Told her they were at Lawrence Tech. Scowls and puckered up angry looks as if suckng on a rat turd.
That's just one example. "OH Dennis..." would be her comment. WTF
Now I know WTF.
My mother SMILES with the tips of her mouth moving DOWNWARDS.
@@nea.skitsa probably a false grin. Learned in acting classes that expression and body language are truth. Most people aren't actors and if they even try it's laughable to other actors or EMPATHIC people.
😂
One that I dealt with looked like one of the ghosts from 13 ghost.
A couple of people are coming to mind here. The part about poison wrapped in honey reminded me of a backhanded compliment that I received from one of my sisters recently. After my boyfriend passed away, and I went back to work, a few days later, she said, "I'm so glad you were able to do that."
Is that really something that most people wouldn't be able to do, after losing a loved one, or does she see me as somehow less capable than other people?
She also tries to make me feel like I'm not capable of making any important decisions or handling certain situations on my own, as if I'm a perpetual child who will always need Mom, her, or one of my other sisters to watch over me. It sometimes makes me want to run away, to get as far away from her, and the rest of my family, as I can.
That sounds to me like narcy behavior. She projecting her own self perceived deficiencies on you. Let it roll off you
This guys channel is gold dust
Thank you.
Blessings thank you
POISON WRAPPED IN HONEY 🍯!!!! Wow🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😅😅😅😅😅😅
Thank you for this, I believe this is what my mom is
Narcissist makes me repulsed. My body even made the vomitting gesture to let out the repulsed energy out of my body
Street angels house devils is good description.
Truth!!!!
The number one sign made me laught ,its the same way my mum speak to me on the phone.
The Final line..Inferior,frustrated,anxious,confused,fear...eveything am experiencing..I would like to know..whether a malignant Narcissist would have the characteristics of a covert Narcissist..My husband behaves now like a covert..saying he changed..I mever believe him hereafter and my intuitiion warns me in all the level..THIS am asking FOR AN AWARENESS..AS HE IS NOT SHOWING HIS AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR AND SUBTLY DOING EVEYTHING AND IT BRINGS ME A VERY MUCH PAIN
DON'T believe him!
Gaslighting tactics in an overt form that make you question your own ability to assess and conclude correctly as well as to why if you are the cause of said behavior, but they are covertly establishing hierarchical dominance and trying to manipulate the context so they devalue you and hopefully forces the outcome favorably for their own devious needs. Example:
You live in a two apartment building with a shared lawn/ pool area to be utilized by all tenants.
The neighbor upstairs letting her dog out to defecate and making the area uninhabitable and dis-functional for its proper use.
She says that the dog is getting out somehow and she doesn’t know how it’s able to open two locked gates..
Every time you and your loved ones are outside talking or living day to day, doors get slammed either hard or softly in different tempos, just to let you know that you are nuisance.
She says she takes the dog for long walks but every time the dog “gets out” it leaves a heap of feces on the lawn/ nearby pool area( in front of our door) that would indicate that it hasn’t been walked for at quite some time…
This is just the tip of the proverbial and metaphorical iceberg, add to that the instagram posts where she flaunt herself training in attire that would be suitable for any proud porn “actress” but she is a nurse and of course she cares for the elderly and the sick..
Their actions NEVER matches with their so-called persona and character they portray.. The covert version is the worst of them all because they are very effective at hiding their true intent. They are djinn ( Demons) flaunting as
“Overt loving members of the community”
These are the types of wicked beings that works in hospitals and neglects to feed their patients, wheel demented and paraplegic people into rooms, turn off the lights make them sit there for 30 minutes or more while they are out taking pictures of themselves with other patients that they can manipulate to give them their narc supply..
So true
My husband was such a fun, outgoing, spiritual guy at church. Everyone loved him and that's why I married him. But after the wedding, when we moved in together, he wanted absolut submission. Any thought he had from from the Holy Spirit, and any contradicting thought I had was from Satan. But at church he was charming and funny. Being on stage at church was his main source of supply: teaching a class, leading a Bible study, playing guitar, greeting the new people. There was no way I could convince anyone that I was unhappy. When my depression started to show at church, he just told everyone that I was crazy. And it made perfect sense: he was the life of the party, and I was moping around and stopped coming to church. When we would go for marriage counseling at the church, there he was, being charming and saying, "something is wrong with my wife", and I was too afraid to tell the truth because I knew he would give me hell when we got home if I did. Of course, there answer was always that I needed MORE church, MORE Bible study, MORE prayer, and MORE submission. It was an old-boy's club of keeping the women under their thumbs. There was no way those MALES were going to side with me.
My dad was actually the same. He always was the most kind and funny man around my friends. But he actually was a very nasty man at home. And nobody would believe me 😢
One of the reasons I became an Atheist was through seeing how much most religions are all about praising men while demonizing women.
Great advice at 7 minutes.
That stare🫣 terrible and disgusting experience to only few weeks ago I realised my sister I am dealing with is a covert narcissist. I raised her, I taught her supported her (still), now nurturing her children, spend on her.... But utilising every new situations and turning points just to display her new manifestation techniques to gaslight me, to make me loose my mind.. under passive aggression 3.5 years without knowing..
When I told you probably have covert narcissism she accepted but it seems she can't help.
The only way is to run away but in lot of cases this demons will attack ower and ower untill they share anything with you
Hmmmm what if your doctor is a narcissist? Aie! Hard to find a new one these days.
On Point. Many thanks.
Back handed compliments are the worst. Beautiful dress would look better if you had the figure for it.
I just found out my boyfriend of two years is a covert narcissist I just found out he's married with kids and his wife is currently pregnant now and he lied about still being married and having a child on the way
what a great analysis.
Well I appreciate your video. 😊
My husband for 23 years is a covert narcicist now I know, he has another supply.. hmm I moove regardless I know that supply will soon discover who he is
My entire relatives are narcs. I was scapegoated like crazy!!! My grandma is the biggest enabler ever and one of those religious narcs. I’m beyond tired of it and then and will be vindicated. I escaped thanks to God and God only. All glory will forever only go to the most high. My sperm donor also enabled them like crazy. These people are sick but God will expose them all.
Evil in its purest form
The purest evil is a malignant narcissist. All other forms are just minions in the army of hell.
Nailed it.
Sounds like both of my parents.
They give you fruits to eat, but there's no plate below them.
Yes that,s the one I had to deal with
My covert narcissistic psychopath mother would make my pets disappear when I was at school because she had noticed a special bond between us. I never saw that cat again most likely she threw him on the streets somewhere. She opened the parakeets cage to let em fly away in a city in the Wintertime. Figured out a special bond with a classmate at 6 years old immediately made me change school and never saw her again. As I became a teen she would go talk to my friends parents to convince them not to have their kids see me again. She would force me to stay in the Countryside every Summer where she had a tennent with about 20 cahined dogs and he would beat the shit out of them for hours to end every night I was there. She d say it was good so he would not have beaten his kids up, pretty sure he was too. One Summer he took the dog he used to beat up the most finally for a walk. About 10 minutes later he was dragging his carcass had shot him in the head. That was all fun for my empathic mother. I can go on and on with isolation abuse physical and mental. My father also a narcissist would stay gone the most he could, absent father sometimes he was there in my memories. I left my home I was 17 and never returned, I travelled across the World and lived in many Countries. People always had the feeling I was running from something but could never understand what and why. I ended up marrying and then divorcing a man just like my mother. As I was able to find alternate families of friends along my way I was never able to have an healthy relationship with a partner. Best for my own good to understand that once and for all:)
Well I'm convinced my grandson's father is a covert malignant he rarely talks he has recluse tattooed on his back. You can ask Virginia my question and just get a Blank Stare. Or I see how he does my daughter I read the letters he wrote yes I did he'll ask like 10 questions and asked her to write a detailed explanation on her feelings about every single question and why she feels the way she does. He tries to act analytical and educated and he's not he didn't want my daughter around me when we were together and now he has custody of my grandson threw her in the streets I had custody the first 7 years of his life cuz she wouldn't parent and now he won't let me see my grandson as close as we are it's killing me however I didn't know about these people and I did expose him. I really think he might be a psychopath
Thank you❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you sir
Perhaps this is a dumb question. I am aware that from a clinical standpoint, the MBTI has little, if any, value, but it's the only vocabulary I have for this.
The INFJ is called a "social chameleon" because they tend to adapt to environment or individual, which is said to be a function of an empathic ability to provide people what is needed.
Is this social chameleon quality separate from what the covert narcissist does? Or is it an indication that a person is a covert narcissist?
🙏 ❤ from Australia 🇦🇺
Yesssss
I don’t believe they are evil spirits/souls as narcissism is a manufactured condition, not one someone is born with.
The covert narc aka my Mil if only I saw it sooner I would have ran the opposite direction..
Scary.
🎉First " Like "🎉
Don't know about first subject
i get an error when try to suscribe to your channel - i have tryed over 20 times
😯
John Ballen
This is a classic example of the behavior of a religious narcissist. If you express any disagreement with her on anything, she gets outraged and claims that you are not agreeing with God Himself or His Word. This is how it sounds:
"Why do you want absolutely transform this conversation into a debate between you and me? I presented the Word of God. Go fight with God and let Him know about your opinion, tell Him know you despise His Word where He says what shall nurture our minds. It was never a fight between you and me. You can be mad at me for telling what God says about our minds, but you cannot make His Word disappear."
By the way, the arrogance of this person is off the charts.
ex family member S
Wish someone had numbered the 5 main points in the comments!
Listen and write them down. He makes it soooo easy!!
THANQ FOR EVERYTHING AMAZING JFK GRACE 🛐😂🌀✅🌟❤😘🔥⛱😍💙🙏😀🥰😎
🙋♀️💖
Oh.
So you think you're special now? I told my husband I'll have to shut up.David downer oh but did it if they think to take the trash out to the road on trash day all by themselves and they gotta tell you about it and then you gotta pat him on the head and say good job little boy good job
🌹🌹🤲🤲🤲🤝🤝😭😭😭😭
A ¨spiritual being¨ 🤣 Ive experienced this intense eye contact. 🥲