Toxic Marriages, Right Time To Marry & Red Flags In Relationships - Shefali Shah | FO205 Raj Shamani
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
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Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction
02:50 - Should Parents be transparent about their relationship?
08:44 - Kids today don’t wanna get married
13:19 - The idea of a good marriage
24:59 - Struggles in marriage
27:10 - 4 Cs of a lasting relationship
29:01 - Women are not very celebrated in India
32:34 - When should one get married?
37:19 - When is a person ready for a relationship?
39:41 - Who to marry?
46:58 - Red flags in a marriage
51:26 - Should we have movies like animal?
57:00 - Thank you!
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In today’s episode of Figuring Out, we have Shefali Shah in conversation with Raj Shamani. Her acting is seen in movies like Darlings, Dil Dhadakne Do and Three of Us. But our conversation isn't about the movies she did but her perspective on marriage, relationships and struggles in marriages.
In this episode, we talked about her performance in Dil Dhadakne Do and whether it's fair to show kids the fights and the good side of their marriage. Then we discussed the struggles in marriages and what are the common problems in it. She also shared a heartwarming story of how her kids surprised her on her birthday. We then discussed when people should marry and advice for young people looking to get married and how people can decide who to marry.
Towards the end, we talked about different types of people in marriages and can two ambitious people have a great marriage. We then discussed red flags in marriages and when we know that someone isn’t for us or this marriage isn’t for us. We ended the podcast by discussing her views on the movie ‘Animal’ and how it impacts people.
For more such insightful episodes, subscribe to our channel.
Follow Shefali Shah Here:
Instagram: / shefalishahofficial
Twitter: / shefalishah_
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#Podcast #FiguringOut #RajShamani #shefalishah #marriage
Lack of Financial Freedom is the biggest reason woman stay in bad marriage...its very important to give Financial support like a business setup or rental property to daughters instead of grand weddings..she don't have to compromise with her dignity
Well said 👍
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
You live in dream.. wake up kid this is not world works
Nah ..even with financial freedom ladies are not being able to move out of marriage
If u are earning less than your husband then that could be a card towards u as well.
I had a toxic marriage pulled it for 24 yrs and communicated with the kids and left. I could do this because I was financially stable but believe me I am very happy now and same with the kids. So be strong ladies
Happy to know that your kids are happy.
Shefali is so true and honest in this conversation .. lots of love for her… no high funda thought.. just day to day problems of specially Indian families….Bring one more episode on relationship with her.. pls
Can we date
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
Shefali Shah is a wonderful actress and she is doing really good acting in podcast also.
I second that... another episode is a must...
The way she is sitting - it's more like how comfortable cool she makes the environment
Omg her brain is exactly like mine!!! So so true !! Love her for coming and being so vocal about what the reality is! Salute!
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
I think you should have called someone who has seen the bright side of marriage too along with this guest who saw the dark side. Or maybe make another podcast with Riteish and Genelia and ask the same questions and ask them how they both maintained and had a so beautiful marriage. Please note this.
Hi Raj!
An honest opinion here.. If you're bringing psychologists, lawyers, or someone who has actually some experience like people who have studied relationships, marriages or breakups then related questions are valid. A person from media should be asked media related, movies related or fashion related questions.. it increases credibility for us as audience..
Agree… she is just doing acting in front of camera now in this podcast.
Absolutely agreed!
Don’t agree here, anyone who’s been in a relationship good or bad can share their experiences provided they are honest about it n here she was quite forthcoming, love her for that. But being a public figure you can’t say it all on a national platform . We should understand that.
I dont know how credible this information is. Shefali Shah is neither a psychiatrist nor a marriage counsellor and being an actress i will think twice before agreeing with her because bollywood is just famous for presenting distorted realities.
Unfortunately we always label mindful people. On the other side most of psychiatrist just have degree so they allowed to whatever they want. Right?
@@maryamhinatahir3782 "degree" is backed by some research atleast, specially in psychology. And what Shefali Shah did here was that she shared her own experience (which is just one experience). If a marriage consellor would have come in, he/she would have shared the experiences of multiple couples (multiple experiences) and the different paths they took to resolved their couple issues. There are much more ways to resolve things apart from a divorce. Wouldn't that have been a much better learning for us?
Totally agreed. The most irritating podcast in my opinion
Agree totally i thought she ll talk abt her career
It's not information he already mentioned in first few minutes, it's her wisdom she is sharing.
Though I agree that everyone should have the right to speak up their minds but brother please don't call the film industry people for relationships related advice bcoz:
1)They comes from world where there is no line between professional & personal life, therefore we have very different perspectives towards life.
2)Because of the kind of work they are in, the people they are surrounded with and the society they live in, is literally poles apart from ours.
3) Most of their opinions on marriage and relationships are bizzare and irrational. These people have damaged the sacredness of marriage as an institution and have ruined the societies.
4) You can't just go and take relationship advices from people who are okay to attach their names with any person just for the sake of publicity.
5)They are literally marrying for the brand values how can anybody ask them for personal life or relationships related advices???
* Nothing against Shefali Shah, I love her work and she just best at it.😊
My thoughts are in general as I follow your channel regularly and lately, I have been observing that your questions to the film celebrities are much about relationships and less about their work.
Mind it, they might be experts at acting(बहुत से तो उसमे भी नही है) but that doesn't mean they are experts at relationships as well.
Their opinions and thoughts on relationships are only as important as any other common person if not less.
I’m 100% agree with your opinion.
Yes sister i completely agree with you if you want real relationship advise just look around middle class Indians.In love sacrifice is needed but these movie stars don't want to sacrifice and even most of them marries just for money and fame they don't love each other truly.
No one is expert in relationship. Criticize the points not the person. Common people are also not saint. It is just that they don't have many options like celebrities. In multi national companies, affairs are quite common. How many men would remain loyal if they are approached by beautiful women who are out of their league?
@@screensafari17 bro which mnc are you talking about, I interned at Microsoft and haven't seen much cases and why you are getting offended it's true that most marriages are just for money and fame and in reality also such marriages exist but I have witnessed how my parents truly loved each other sacrificed many things and I am sorry if you didn't like any of my words.
Yeah. Everyone has a unique and very different journey. We can relate to a few incidents, but it's up to the individual how does he/she deals with the situation. Not an appropriate person to give general opinion on this issue for sure. She is great on her craft, but in terms of relationships, she can share only her experiences and uni directional perspective.
I just love this lady. How she speaks, how she react, how she understand the thnigs is incredible
I have been absolutely in awe of Shefali Shah for the last few years. I can't put into words how much adoration my heart holds for her. Thank you @rajshamani for having her on Figuring Out. I am so thankful.
Brother Please put thumbnail like "Dark reality of Indian Marriages" your are making people mindset to see negatives of indian Marriages even before the start of the videos, instead of making people to see what good and what is bad of marriages. Click bait is ok but don't make your audiences pre conception that indian Marriages are bad.
What was the thumbnail before?
Same question 😂@@Saikath_76
Bro thumbnail says toxic marriage and red flag which itself interprets negativity
Most of his thumbnails are like that… even an Adani one…raj knows negativity sells and he is cashing in on that
@@vivekalexander1217 yeah all you tubers r behind dis tactic to garner viewership
If you started dating in early 30s and want to date for 4-5 years, one might have problems conceiving a child.
What if one or both of the partners are not open to adoption.
You’re in a trap & this is only one of the reasons why you shouldn’t listen to these people blindly.
Marry early, learn to grown and correct your mistakes together.
Live a little spiritually.
God bless!
This podcast was like realllllyyyy amazing i sat down to watch it with very diff expectation, but till the end i just got a very amazing perspective about relationships and like every relationship in & around us!!!! just wow!!!!!
This podcast is so relatable. The discussion on flawed marriages and kids growing up to believe that marriages are a flawed concept and then being pushed by the same parents into marriage saying sab marriages ek jaisi nahi hoti...and then pressurizing them to ignore red flags saying sabki aisi hi hoti hain. Hypocrisy at its peak.
Add one more C- Communication. Nowadays couples have stopped or minimized communicating. They r busy in their own world.. rather just talk anything n everything. Just pick up some topic n talk . Tell entire day stories. Go out with frnz n then come n tell ur person how your day went etc..
Life is not like that... In marriage..it's not possible to pick a topic n talk ..plus if one is not interested in talking then it's just enraged both of them... So eventually they or one have to become quite .. other wise. .. what would u eat or wear or buy or do is big discussion for a couple
Jab criteria hi beauty aur money hai partner select karne ka to communication kaise hoga.
@@sonasandhujiyes thr will be times wherein either one is tired or just wanna be alone n don't wanna talk, but to make a relationship work, someone needs to create that habit of sharing, talking, maybe gossiping sometimes. It's ok. Start with what the other person likes to hear n then say what u wanna say
They are busy tagging on IG😂😂 indirect taunts... I feel bad for such partner
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
Her advice on late marriage is not practical especially where women are concerned. Women who decide to have children in mid thirties are at higher risks of having babies with deformities.
Mid thirties is ok, mid forties is problem.
children are not only reason for marriage.
who cares about fooking babies...first manage each other
@@carrad123456mid forties me menstrual cycle band ho jati h 🤔
@@_Avinash_singh_solanki_ not necessary, it can go on till 50-55
A very nice , real conversation on relationships , marriages.......
Very realistic conversation on marriage. It’s ups and downs, 80/20 some days, but you push through. And the part of celebrating is so true. You have to put the work in.
Very nice episode. great questions and Shefali did wonderfull job answering them.
Not all points she mentioned are having logical reasoning. She haven't get into the depth of issues & experiences in her own marriage. Her body language is highly impatient. This podcast is just a conversation and not any such to take away.
12:28... Interesting
Do you know about personalities?? People have various of personalities. It just hers
True
@@Tourdarshan
Yes Dear! I myself is a Marital Relationship Counsellor. 🙏
She speaks mostly woman POV only
Absolutely true
6:15 she said that she is earning and she is independent. If man says he is earning and independent then women go to court and files false case of 498
Listen to her further. She is saying that men too have terrible marriages.
@@alankritakaushalyup
Hey Raj Shamani ! this is the first podcast I have heart( watched) completely....its like a deep conversation...going to watch all others now....lots of love from Nepal!
Awesome podcast... Loved shefali... A very genuine human being❤
First time I have seen something which is very practical in today's time.
OMG HAS TO BE MY MOST FAV PODCASTS TILL NOW , love the way she spoke and the points she kept is so on point 🙌
Thank you so much to you both ❤very real and inspiring podcast. Respect is main in Good relationship. Stay blessed all.
Superb.. thank u so much 🙏 u open my mind ❤️
I am speechless because it was a mind-blowing podcast. I just loved it. Keep up the good work.
loved this particular one
Thankyou so much for this podcast ❤ Raj Shamani
🙌🙌
She is soo soo intelligent and aware about what women and men feel in their marriage and relationship's etc. And every single individual should watch this episode if ur struggling with your relationship and marriage.
I know that there is somethings are wrong with my relationship but I don't want to or I don't know how to address things to my partner after watching this episode in so many topics it just open my eyes for both of us, I will share this podcast with my partner, family and friends!!!
Such a great podcast Raj sir keep rocking!!! Love your every podcast!!! ❤❤❤
Best podcast everyone must watch this 😊 many many tiny things to learn from this podcast
Continuity is not breaking that's good 👍🏻
bro please try to communicate in hindi because the community to whom you want to teach/target , unable to understand english.
Great Podcast!! Thanks Raj Shamani!!
All episode are class ,I shared with my loveobe keep doing podcast
In order to build awareness and psychoeducating people about mental health and healthy relationships, these people are invited and not Psychologist/Marriage Counsellors like us. They may have experience but we definitely have education, expertise, and experience.
Jab tak shaadi mein naaptol chalega tab tab esa hi ghisipiti jhagre honge..
Marriage is totally a bond between two souls who are different from each other but still likes to be together with the differences and equally enjoys each other's company.. I got married at 25 and i got a partner who is immensely fond of me and i am fond of him.. We both have different personality though.. Not all who are on screen are perfect to give judgements.. Sometimes you should also bring normal common people on podcast too.. So that we all feel related
Ye sb family or society ne suru Kiya h
Sirf need dekhi jati h ladka ladki hot h sex mil jayega ladke ki job h to sukh milega
Baki iske alawa to koi kuch dekhta nhi ki love sbse pehle hona chahiye
100%
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
Behen tum lucky aur highly understanding ho...in most of the cases aisa nhi hota hai...just 2 different opinions (you and shefali) stating facts...()
Beautiful podcast ❤…….thoroughly enjoyed it ✨
Wonderful interview. Thank you so much
Seriously, I've never watched anyone's podcast all the way through until the end. But Raj, you and your content are so good.
You gain a subscriber.
Thankyou🙌 Let me know what you want to see next on our podcast💯
👏🏻❤ Raj, bring more & more podcasts on relationship
Stay tuned! Many more to come💯💯
Find a guy who can be with you for a year without sex
Marry him
That's all don't watch stupid podcasts
I loved it Raj❤️ You seem to be empathetic ..You explore perspectives well.
Tks Raj for such a wonderful podcast...keep up the good work..😊
Wonderful podcast! Huge fan of Shefali Shah
This could have been a lengthier episode..I feel like many portions were just cut off abruptly
Raj Shamani, You're the best! I subscribed because I love your content!
Thankyou so much! your support and love is something that motivates me to bring the best content that might add value to my audience!!!
Yes but don’t let people spread negativity. Thumbs down 👎🏽
Excellent talk show. Loved the topic. Loved the conversation & Shefali was pointing every single point, loved how she explained so beautifully. Thank you for bringing my all time favorite actress Shefali Shah. I have been seeing her from Hasrate drama from TV.
I could relate to it in some ways, loved it.
It is two people sharing their personal opinions... not a nail in the thumb....it all deoends and varies person to person and good luck
Answer to last discussion: it's easy to spread negative ideas than positive. As per human psychology, bad habits are easier to form.
For example: getting addicted to smoking is easier than a book
Yea I was thinking the same, he completely changed her perception. But they both have their reasons, they're both right, but its just what you said.
And i think all the negativity in u tube becoming reason for depression. Real life is very simple.
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
100%- this person only talks negatively about everything becausr he knows negativity sells😂. He is telling and making this as if all marraiges are bad😂. Such a shameful person.
@@ZoldicsDiaries you r right
These influencers are f#cked up totally
Great conversation!! ❤
Nice topic😊 thanks
Nice message " chose to be alone, rather being with wrong partner"
सृष्टि का सारा सौंदर्य सारा संगीत सारी संवेदनाए साथ जीने साथ रहने से साथ जुड़ने से जागता है अपनी गरिमा अपनी जिद अपनी जीवनशैली अपनी धारणाओ अपने अन्तर्विरोधो के चलते अकेले रहना एक चुनाव है समाधान नही ....
Majority Indian marriages are all full of sacrifice type of life for for future of their children etc
Maybe when they reincarnate the hope is a better life. If we thought this is the life we may think differently.
Thank u so much
Great video
I used to watch your shorts
Tiday saw two long videos and immediately subscribed it
Your thoughts are very reliable
Oh what a podcast! WHAT A PODCAST!!! ❤👏 Kudos and huge thanks to you both for bringing up such content and highlighting the unsaid details. More than loved it ❤
Thankyou🙌🙌
its becoming a trend for some podcasters and youtubers to only talk about negative of marraige as if all marraiges are bad. Such a shame. They never talk about it positives. They are also propagating that marraiges are bad but live in is good😂. What a shame.
@@rajshamani Raaj you used to replied for one's who make a sheer positive comment only, please read constructive criticism as well. It will help you to grow fast and real....
And genuine I am a regular viewer and admirer as well
Marriage is a complicated thing and giving generic tips like "early marriage is bad" will help no one, because there are studies showing people who marry outside 22-28 range tend to get divorced soon....This lady doesn't know the reality of marriages in these times... my family has been searching for a bride since 2 years and haven't found a match even though I'm handsome guy with good salary and background.....some of my friends have been rejected by girls because they crossed age 30...
And do you know the reason why? It’s because people are able to recognize right from wrong. Earlier people married at 10 to 13. Is that okay? Wait for forebrain to develop. Get financial ability. Ok now why you want to marry and stay married for 60 years. Marriage only works 45per or so. It’s natural. Marriage is a man made conscious decision. It’s not natural.
That's fuckin truth
But some suedo feminist will not agree with it because of their illogical mindset
She has literally compared a life partner with work, like if a person is a workaholic then she/he may not need a life partner....!
I wonder if she's aware of WTH is coming out of her mouth!
She said there are people who are completely involved with work. Such workaholics many not prefer to have a partner because they want to devote all their time to work..for example people like Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam who dedicated their whole life to their profession.
Such people also exist..@@nandinisharma2577
Wonderful podcast enjoyed watching...
Good content. Thanks
Thanks Raj and I really appreciate it the kind of question you ask. Your podcasts are very informative.
Thankyou🙌🙌
Very informative.. much needed... and the flow of the podcast was awesome - Natural & On-point
Thankyou🙌🙌
Absolutely right Shefali ,I agree with you ❤
Loved the entire podcast!!
हिंदी में समझ में ज्यादा आता है मुझे 😊
Love listening to her. Lovely podcast, please Invite her again, Thank you.
This was a great podcast and a great conversation. Shefali Shah is a gem 💎. I felt there there were multiple cuts here which stopped the natural flow of conversation, I’d prefer if it was a free flowing conversation. I want my podcast to be uncut and unedited, but that’s just me
Liked the podcast abd the flow of the discussion. Of course you dealt with very important things abd questions snd i could see it toll the end because i had time. If the time is reduced i.e, if its a short and crisp podcast it will be much easier for people like me to watch till the end
This is called real content
Unfortunately her own marriage failed and she making her personal experience as universal truth..
One of the best podcast i have ever heard
Super like 👍 really liked your observations on relationships!!
Marriage in early or late thirties is really bad. Genetically Caucasian women have large egg reserves and longer maternal windows. Modern Asian / Indian women have low egg reserves and low maternal window. Above 30 , women are considered advanced maternal age and complications of food allergies, Down syndrome, autism for the fetus increases exponentially! Also you down want to be too old too take care of your kids and experience the joy of your grandkids! Your kids want to be there for them!
Your comment made sense till Talking about your next gen...
You want to alive to look after your Grand kids.... is TOO MUCH to Expect from Life...
Does "LIVING FOR OWN, SELF IMPROVEMENT, PRIVATE TIME, PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT " comes to your Radar or ... no personal goals/upliftment... just Family Planning 😅
@quizudita I am living my best life and stating facts about human biology! Quoting everything in cap .. you seem very frustrated!
Just ask her how much her husband makes. Then you will find the answer for why and what she ' loved more'.
This was an amazing podcast 🎉❤❤❤
Good one, enjoyed thoroughly!! Keep it up!👍
I really like your podcast but with great actors like Vidya Balan and shifali shah why are we stuck on with marriage & relationship? They are ACTORS not a couple therapist . Yes they are humans like all of us with opinions and relationships. But I wish we could have known more about her journey. What is the right time to marry ? Asking shifali shah won't influence us . Idk . It's disappointing ya !
Exactly.. this is non-sense.
True.. there is too much talk about marriage. Raj, there are NO formulas.. what will work is very subjective. Maybe you could talk about how middle aged women can become actors!
I agree.
Ek dum! I was like... .. bawadi ho gayi ke? 😂 They are having convo like night out with friends 😅
I allways learn new things from your podcast thanks for that
Many more to come💯
Amazing podcast.Reality of life.
I m just enjoying the podcast so real ....
She's living on another planet kya ,yaar raj kya hogaya aaisey guest kyon ?! Shes a great actress no doubt.
Whats wrong she spoke on this topic?
@@maryamhinatahir3782 nothing to say I have unsubscribed , n it won't make a difference.
Like who Addicted of Raj shamani podcast❤
😂😂😂😂😂@@gautamichalke3627
Aapse advice kisne maangi
😂😂
🤫
Good n candid conversation.....
Thankyou for this program,its an eye opener.I shared it with my grand children
Baseless prodcust ...
Only show negativity...
This could be the life of TR 1 City's ....
Yeh sikhayegi ab hume jiski khud ke marriage ka pata nhi. Like others she might be faking too
exactly :v
Superb programme ..
I simply adore n respect Shefali ....she is a Gem...thanks ..was great listening to her ..n her experience
Jab AAP dono ko Hindi aata he to English kayu?
I don't understand English
Inhe apni bhasha par sharam aati hai. Iss maamle me Beerbiceps accha hai. Uska hindi channel bhi hai ❤
Phir angrej ke aulad kaise lagenge.
@@user-zz1zb1ki2f 😂
Very progressive talk ❤
way more interesting in general perspective! sometimes what all matters about a relationship is two of them how they deal with things for betterment rather than getting out of relationship and its fine when things are not working for both of them to get out of the relationship. diplomatic gen z . love is a choice shamani as u said , loving them even when things are not fine is what that works for long lasting . may be the need for long lasting relationship is not a goal for few then whats that u needed in a 70 year life ! peace and happiness with yourself is ultimate .so the thing is build yourself strong to deal with anything and stand for yourself is what i learned .
All of his Podcasts have similar template. Relationship, Marriage, Red flags etc. Bro don't you have anything better to talk about with women guests ?
I suggest @RajShamani someday you just bring up a proud homemaker from a random city or town who is happy of being a woman and a mother and let their idea flourish, rather everytime bringing up a working women to talk on behalf of them is an utter doublestandard.
Right
Its a very nice conversation,shefali spoke without any filters which probably many are not ready to digest as well, but keep doing more such podcasts
Superb interview couples should understand eash other and solve there problem personally.
Brother, do podcast in hindi don't understand many people english because the people of the country mostly understand Hindi.
😂😂😂
Yes, brother! I'll try my best!
Podcast bakas
Very important podcast
Very good one ❤ 46:57
Thankyou🙌
No disrespect, but how does an actor become an expert on relationships?
What's the qualification?
Again, no disrespect intended to anyone..