This guy in my class in high school said, "You don't talk very much, do you?" I shrugged, and said "Not really". We didn't talk again, for months. But, one day, during a fire drill, he approached me in the parking lot, and spouted this gem, "Would you rather be alone, or can I talk to you?" We've been married almost 19 years, and we still chuckle about how awkward we were!
Wading *through the dicks* is the essence of a single woman's life online. 2 decades in and it's pretty much only gray ball hairs that prevent them from being as prone to send a picture of their junk.
@@dougjones5530 Lol for a second I thought you were insulting me for not knowing the band and then I realized that was the song title. Thanks, have a good one.
Man, I don't even know what this is like. I've had tinder for a while and get a match maybe like, once every 4-6 months? And then they don't even talk lol
One time I got a text message from a girl I was dating saying, "Can you tell me something romantic?" Me: "Dance with the dead in dreams. Listen to their hallowed screams. The dead have taken my soul. Temptations lost all control!!!" She ghosted me after that.
Here's my cringe moment.. I was very drunk at a bar with my friends (and very high too) and I saw a cute girl dancing, well I stood up and confidently walked towards her...and when I got in front of her and her friends I faceplanted right to her feet...=) In that moment of having nothing to lose I watched up and uttered the words, "you are so beautiful that my legs gave up on me"... So yeah.. But I still got the girl..
My dad went to the bank while I was in the car. Apparently this guy was trying to flirt with the girl that worked at the bank. He said (unfortunately) in a flirtatious way " what color are you toes? What nail polish do you use?" I worry about people like this
my freshman year of high school I was in health class talking to my friend. well this guy comes over to her and says something like "hey I'm obsessed with you, wanna go out?" I like started laughing and she uncomfortably giggled and said "no I'm good" and he freaking took a chair and threw it at the ceiling. it obliterated three ceiling tiles and a light. and the teacher who is very calm and quiet and never raises her voice (I absolutely love this teacher she was like the best teacher ever) yells "ALRIGHT THATS IT ALL THREE OF YOU OUT" cause she didn't know what happened but she quickly pieced it together while walking us to the office apologized to me and my friend several times. I saw the teacher a few weeks ago and she apologized for yelling at us lol. me and my friend laugh about this still. edit: im a senior now and the teacher retired
Once in 4th grade there was this girl named isabel, and i had heard a pickupline that was a knock knock joke. Knock knock, whos there? Isabel, isabel who? Isabel working or should i keep knocking. For some reason she didnt know how knock knock jokes work, so the joke ended at whos there? Isabel. I still think about it to this day.
My favorite terrible ones I've actually seen used by my friends are; "Your face is like a wrench, every time I see it my nuts tighten." "Do you like motorcycles? Cause you can ride my Harley any day."
This guy in my class in high school said, "You don't talk very much, do you?" I shrugged, and said "Not really". We didn't talk again, for months. But, one day, during a fire drill, he approached me in the parking lot, and spouted this gem, "Would you rather be alone, or can I talk to you?" We've been married almost 19 years, and we still chuckle about how awkward we were!
That was quite the twist
That's actually quite adorable!
That turned out better than I hoped 😂 that’s cool, good line.
Awww 💖
That’s actually very wholesome
The worst pickup line I used was "I've never kissed a Canadian girl before" on a Canadian girl. Amazingly and surprisingly, it worked.
It does work. I think saying I've never done XyZ is kinda asking for it.
As a Canadian.. This would not have worked 😂
@@khaosoll7630 maybe you just have higher standards
Vetle Allum I’ve never kissed a Canadian with high standards before! Lol
I’m in a wheelchair... my pickup line is always “hey I can’t feel my legs can I feel yours”.
My guy, save some pussy for the rest of us...
you sly bastard
If you were a woman it would get my attention for sure
🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝
I'm a wheelchair Guy, so i will borrow that line if you don't mind?
I DIED when Jared said “yaaaaaaa liquid Xanax” 😂😂😂
Flirting in 1980s: Would you like to watch a movie sometime?
Flirting in the 2010s: Puns. And dickpicks. But mostly puns.
The 80s were a simpler and better time...
Wading *through the dicks* is the essence of a single woman's life online.
2 decades in and it's pretty much only gray ball hairs that prevent them from being as prone to send a picture of their junk.
Puns are cringe as f
The thumbnail looks like Jared is hitting it from behind lmao 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
It might be the point lol
Missed your content while in boot camp. Gotta catch up 3 months worth of content haha
I can now die in peace, I've been noticed by senpai haha
Pathetic, I'm catching up on 4 years of content
@@theawesomegamer12 thank you for your service
It wasn’t cringe, but just funny as hell to see how some people go 0-100 super quick
Best pickup line that worked for me: “cannot wait to make you a single mother”
One of the few terrible pick up lines I've been told by someone recently is "Are you a hotdog stand? Because you make my hotdog stand" 🤦🏽♀️
😂
How about second part of it? It was fun👍
This is the second part
That Enter Shikari reference at 2:03
What's the song?
@@stupendoushorrendous8258 Sorry you're not a winner. It's from the breakdown at the end of the song
@@dougjones5530 Lol for a second I thought you were insulting me for not knowing the band and then I realized that was the song title. Thanks, have a good one.
8:08 when someone thinks Nirvana is a clothing brand
What does every tickle me Elmo get before it leaves the factory?
Two test tickles.
I wanna like this but it's at 69 likes
@@rickgutierrez6328 its 102 now youre good
Omfg lol
NO.
But like why two tho
ayyy I was just thinking about you guys last night. thanks for the upload. 💖
I love the jacket of jared... but Austin! you lost so much weight🥰 proud of you
The “Jacket of Jared” sounds like a game
“Beta, Beta, Beta”
I swiped right on this guy who in his bio mentioned he’s really into 70’s music, turns out he didn’t even know who Billy Joel was
The tentacles one was definitely my favorite. I’m still laughing about it.
The Rucka Rucka ali song tho
I heard a guy say "girl this phone pretty empty without yo number" and my head retracted into my torso
The most "Fluff" move ever lol!
Austin's beta chant was great
The sorry you're not a winner "what what" lul
Man, I don't even know what this is like. I've had tinder for a while and get a match maybe like, once every 4-6 months? And then they don't even talk lol
One time I got a text message from a girl I was dating saying,
"Can you tell me something romantic?"
Me: "Dance with the dead in dreams. Listen to their hallowed screams. The dead have taken my soul. Temptations lost all control!!!"
She ghosted me after that.
You legend, you!
SIMPLE SMILES ELUDE PSYCHOTIC EYES
I laughed at this. Thx
Here's my cringe moment.. I was very drunk at a bar with my friends (and very high too) and I saw a cute girl dancing, well I stood up and confidently walked towards her...and when I got in front of her and her friends I faceplanted right to her feet...=) In that moment of having nothing to lose I watched up and uttered the words, "you are so beautiful that my legs gave up on me"... So yeah.. But I still got the girl..
7:32 lol nice Rucka cameo
I love the random RuckaRuckaAli insert.
I heard a guy yell at a girl "yo bitch let me taste that honey cone yum yum" needless to say I died laughing
Well anyyywayyyy honeydewww 🤪🤪🤪🥴🥴🥴
0:21 the dickydines show in a nutshell..
I'm joking btw
More please☺️you guys are good at brightening a gloomy rainy day ☁️☀️💕thank you for the laughs they are very much needed
The "how tall are you" girl triggered me, that's one of the worst things about Tinder, if you're not a minimum of 6'2 you have a 0% chance.
Tell me you have no game without telling me you have no game
you guys always make my nights so much better.
The pinky to is actually super important for balance.
That Rucka plug tho...throwback to middleschool haha
Yo that start with those noises when jared claps his hands are so vicious omg
*sweats nervously*
That fucking pikmin intro got me fucking hard
I was gonna ask this girl out tomorrow... THANKS for what NOT to do XD
Cyler Shaw what did she say
Please do more of these!!!
"I'm just waste my time bitch??" Dead 😄
I just don’t do pickup lines, I just talk and make jokes.
My dad went to the bank while I was in the car. Apparently this guy was trying to flirt with the girl that worked at the bank. He said (unfortunately) in a flirtatious way " what color are you toes? What nail polish do you use?" I worry about people like this
Glad you guys are back. Hope Jared is feeling better
Do more episodes guys. Total comedy. Best series.
Solid good morning from Georgia dudes love the show
I laughed so hard at the tentacles that I inhaled and olive down my throat
Winnie the Pooh at the end, yeah that's the sophisticated shit I expect from this channel! Great job y'all! Keep up the great content!
Dickey Dines referenced Rucka Rucka
I can die peacefully.
Sweet Enter Shikari reference at 2:04
Creepy text theatre lol
Austin should do stand-up.
The Goosebumps episode with the girl and the haunted mask was pretty good, that's probably my favorite 👌🏻
Same
@@kaylatarapaskoski2390 It's definitely one of the better episodes, some were just like "Who tf came up with this shit" or it was just bad acting.
8:07 Jared, I’m very disappointed in you. That was an obvious Tenacious D reference.
Thanks for uploading guys.
I seriously love you guys.
Did Austin get that rose filled in on his arm? That's such a dope colour, I love it!
War robots should sponsor this. This is the great content I subbed for
my freshman year of high school I was in health class talking to my friend. well this guy comes over to her and says something like "hey I'm obsessed with you, wanna go out?" I like started laughing and she uncomfortably giggled and said "no I'm good" and he freaking took a chair and threw it at the ceiling. it obliterated three ceiling tiles and a light. and the teacher who is very calm and quiet and never raises her voice (I absolutely love this teacher she was like the best teacher ever) yells "ALRIGHT THATS IT ALL THREE OF YOU OUT" cause she didn't know what happened but she quickly pieced it together while walking us to the office apologized to me and my friend several times. I saw the teacher a few weeks ago and she apologized for yelling at us lol. me and my friend laugh about this still.
edit: im a senior now and the teacher retired
Cheesy pickup lines are my favorite. 😁♥️♥️
Fucking Pikmin at the beginning 😂
I'M EARLY❤️ YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME 👌😔
I'm very disappointing in myself that I did not make this video.
Yeah. Upload on my bday love you guys lol
Great thing to wake up to
Once in 4th grade there was this girl named isabel, and i had heard a pickupline that was a knock knock joke. Knock knock, whos there? Isabel, isabel who? Isabel working or should i keep knocking. For some reason she didnt know how knock knock jokes work, so the joke ended at whos there? Isabel. I still think about it to this day.
I love watching you guys before work lol
my stomach actually hurt to read these . . . BLEIGH!!!!!!!!! **vomit-warning**
New Jacksfilms segment lol, fiiiiiiixed your Tinder.
Nothing like waking up at 2pm to a new dickeydines video
0:00 MEME REVI... oh wait wrong channel
Best one that worked for me was your face is esthetically pleasing
Please part 2 hahahaha
If you were a pizza chain, you’d be round table......cause that’s the only one I like.
What's up demons it's ya boi
My fave lads, Jared Dickey and Austin Dines.
I had one where I just said "my friend said i was a shit kisser" it was bad but I worked. And my friend actually said that.
Austin lookin fiiiiiiiiiit
As a female on the internets...I feel this so hard...
Austin poorly milly rocking on a beta is my spirit animal
YOOOOO the cuphead music in the background tho!!
I didn't cringe, just laughed & snorted in the middle of my study hall
What is that sound at the very beginning? It sounds so familiar
One day at horrorland is the best live action goosebumps episode
THEY'RE BACK!!!
I fucking love these.
Best thing to wake up and see on my phone
Girl: how tall are you?
Guy: how fat are you?
Girl: omg double standards
The fucking gag in the beginning 😂😂
This was amazing
RUCKA RUCKA ALI
Sick pop collection
The only one that made me cringe more than laugh was the one where the person messaged actions in asterisks, 'cause that's pretty weird and cringey
Yallr uploading 5 am, luckily despite me also being in pst, I coughf kick this at 8
God damn he lost some somemuch weight good shit bro
i cant watch this cause im at school but im liking it anyways because im sure its good
My favorite terrible ones I've actually seen used by my friends are;
"Your face is like a wrench, every time I see it my nuts tighten."
"Do you like motorcycles? Cause you can ride my Harley any day."
Yeeeea some poeple might text like that.....>~>....*looks away feeling caught*
lol