This is a discussion that the entire black community needs to have. I know so many BW who desire marriage and I have met many BM who don’t value marriage. As a single mother of one son I purposely moved to an area where most of the black people in the community where married couples. My son’s mindset is to find the right woman to MARRY and build a life with and to have kids with his wife. This is also an area I have prayed many times about because I get sick of meeting BM in their 40’s and darn near 50 still talking about how they’re not ready to marry. I’ve also had WHITE and HiSPANIC men comment to me how puzzling it is that I’m not married yet and that it seemed like BM just don’t want to marry. Those convos are embarrassing because it tells you their perception of BM which is negative. As BW we have to STOP giving BM wife benefits. After I had my son I said I would never have another child unless it was with my husband. I’m proud that I’ve raised my son to be a HUSBAND and FATHER. And yes we have to be open to whoever God has for us because He May have to send a man from another race/culture. In the meantime let’s continue to pray that BM’s mindsets will shift for the betterment of our community.
I have a small son and I want to raise him to have a family mentality but I want him to find a HELPMATE not a help me. I want him not know his value as well and don't settle as well
Hmm....my God. My Pastor preached the same thing on Father's day. He said the white supremists don't want you all to know that there is power in marriage and the family. My God, we need to get it together as black people 🇹🇹
A lot "white supremacists" act like they are at a frat party and seem like they don't want to marry either. (at least that is how it seems today) I am white (an older woman of 54 years) and would like to see black folks get married - (as well as white people married; fornication is a sin as well) I hate seeing young women getting test driven and dumped, and strung along and stalled out, hopeful and heartbroken; I hate the injustice of it.
@AB C Also speaking to our kids in a real way. My parents are still married till this day but my Dad didnt ask me about sex till I was 21. "Yeaaahhhh...Okay Dad. 🙄"
As a 33 year old black woman who wishes to marry and have kids it’s hard to stay hopeful that it will happen based on everything you said in this video! I’ll keep praying though! 🙌🏿
Please don't waste time wishing, and know that majority of this problem statically has nothing to do with you or other women with similar wishes. If you want marriage please seek to be the best you and be open to men from different cultures.
Theres hope, be open to men from different cultures as well, it doesnt have to be a black man or an american man, there are many good men also looking for good women.
Stay in prayer and continue to work on your 3 B’s life has different seasons for everything you never know when he’s coming but you will be ready when he does🙏🏾 blessings
Tony Gaskins and Dr. Myles Munroe on repeat all day... both of their video’s on UA-cam has helped me through the pandemic and I will come out stronger.
Focus on being your best self, no matter your skin color. As black women it starts with us, how we raise our black sons, how we treat ourselves, and others around us. We can't depend on these men to fix the problem. If you happen to be a single black mom do your very best to raise kids that people dont have to recover from. We cant fix our generation of people all at one time but with one person, one child at a time we can create generational blessings, and we must put God first in all we do!
LizzyLewis you also need to be raising your black daughters to know their worth. Black men are not the only ones of importance. Young black girls should also be the focus
This rhetoric is sickening. Black men are not the only ones to blame for women not marrying. Low standards, promiscuous behavior, unrealistic standards, children before marriage etc. Please listen to other sources of information and not just men who cater to women to increase viewership.
At least she admits they the ones raising our sons. Thats one of the problems.. no wonder they told black women we will help u but get that man out the house. Smh
Shift the narrative, stick to your standards, stay the course and don't take the easy way out!! Focus on changing yourself, and not changing a man. 💎🙌🏾
Absolute truth, Tony thank you for beautiful transparancy. I always hoped for a union with a black man but it is not working out that way. Met a wonderful white man who is loving on me ( not on my back)with kindness and sweetness. I still adore black men.
@@jasminalums1985 exactly, and this is why so many black women are unmarried, they have this undying loyalty to BM, a loyalty that is not reciprocated by BM and an unwillingness to explore options outside of BM and this is why so many BW are unmarried
Awesome video been telling my daughters and a few of my associates Tony Gaskin is like the dad I didn’t have to pour into me about black men and how they operate so thank u so much not very tech savy so haven’t found ur cash app to give to ur ministry at my age and not getting out much u have given me peace as a black women I have never had from any black man so plz send me easy steps to get into ur cash app so I can sow into ur ministry bet u didn’t know you would have so many grown daughters did u ?
Rumi said *“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself".* We must be the example we want to see ladies and gentlemen. Overall great message Tony.
God Bless Tony, This message here needs to spoken into our Black Men and Women Spirit. I'm 55 and so much I didnt know. I'm a divorced Mother of 4 and a Grandmother of 9. This is a family sit down for sure. I'm calling a gathering. OOOOH give us more I wish you could come head this meeting. I have 7 Grandsons and 2 Granddaughters that need to know there history so we can all start. Making a difference . Thank you for your Obedience
The black family was so strong in the 1970’s. Black men where in the home. Black families were large as well. Then there was a switch in the 1980’s with new economic changes that affected the home like drugs such as crack cocaine and single parent families.The black family became dismantled. Black women became devalued because of the they “live off the government” stereotype. Black women have never totally recovered. Some Black men still devalue black women and do not marry them. Just my opinion growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s.
That's not true. The black family actually started to already go down by the late 1960s and there is plenty of statistics that will explain why. So, the effects had already started in the 1970s...it probably just wasn't as noticeable until the 1980s. I've looked at the statistics for years so I know. It started with globalism in the 1960s. For many years, black men made good money working in car plants and factories. That's why Detroit was so popular for so long..."motor city". Well, most of those factory and car plant jobs were sold overseas. That meant those jobs that black men had for years where they made good money to take care of their families disappeared and never came back. A lot of those black men became desperate and got into drug dealing, other ways to make money to take care of their families...or some just abandoned their families altogether.
Since the days of convict labor, the prison industrial complex has always been a deliberate means of preventing Black marriages, creating single-parent families, and destroying any opportunity for Black economic parity.
I want to get married it’s definitely a goal of mine to break generational curses. And my ex was brainwashed by his sorry a** mama .... that’s because she’s never been married so she discouraged him as much as she could which it worked. I refuse to be a baby mama. I want to marry a black man but it’s starting to feel like I gotta date outside my race 😪
Sounds like the mom was jealous if he did end up getting married because she never did, I am a single mother and if my son got married and had a happy marriage I would be happy for him even if I never got married. I swear people need to stop the pulling of the other crab who is about to be at the top back into the bottom of the crab pot. And I know how you feel I want to marry a black man but it feels like because of all the generational curses and the suppression of society on the black race especially on black males it makes it real hard to find one who is about marriage and want that. The music also doesn’t help as well. I feel if a lot of black men stopped listening to the music that speaks on: getting money, having a lot of females and playing them and doing drugs, I think we would have a difference in the quality of black men that there are today. I don’t let my son listen to Worldly music. I have to start young and he actually when I worldly song comes on he tells me to turn it off, so it’s working
Natasha Mcclellan thank you dear. I Just speak from experience. I wish more people spoke on the evil indoctrination of music especially hip hop. One guy Stephen Darby goes into depth about the music industry in a few of his podcast and how the United States was built and what the evil foundation it was built on which is the Illuminati.
Laci Davis Right.. Yes he is good ‘ Stephen Darby I think we all need to share his videos. That’s why I don’t listen to hip hop now r&b im struggling with . This is so true this is satan world& his music. I see why our God Jesus don’t want us to listen to this type of music.
You probably will have to open up your options sis, I know that for myself, I am more than alright with that happening, as long as the man is truly Godly his race doesn't matter to me at all. In our community you don't see your "Tony Gaskins" as the norm.. Which is quite sad and disheartening.
I grew up in a two BLACK parent home. However, both of my brothers dated AND married WHITE women, and so have a couple of my uncles. I don't think it's that they don't want to marry, i believe they dont wamt to marry a BLACK women.
I'm confused...if they are your brothers...why couldn't you have a conversation with them to determine why they married white women over black women? That way you know for sure and are not assuming it is just based on something arbitrary.
So true about black men not being raised to think marriage will help them. I remember talking to my sister about this and she said how they even put it in a lot of movies.
Yea, I'm a single mom of a son & spoke to him early on about not knowing how to be a Man but spoke on Marriage, valuing himself & not sleeping around. He's 20 now & still says he wants to be financially stable so he can provide for his family & only wants to start a family when he finds a Wife.
Thank you for acknowledging the influence of music!! Do you know most people don't realize or maybe understand how much the music influences these kids?
I love listening to you Tony. I'm 62, and wish I knew during my youth what I know now because of your God imparted wisdom. Oh, I knew to keep my legs together and did way more than some but I have made mistakes that way too. God has brought me to the perfect point in my life to purchase your course and embark on a new journey in becoming certified and writing a book and whatever else is in store for me to realize my purpose in helping other people. Been through a lot, and seen a lot, have a lot to offer others. I purchased the course this morning. I am so excited...... LOVE listening to you talk..... You crack me up! Good Bless You Brother.
@@ajbimg am a black man comfortable in his own skin thus why would I want to avoid black ladies with intellectual sexiness appeal to them; it doesn't make sense especially if building generational wealth with someone of substance is concerned. Or do you want to be right in everything you do with a woman then that's not on a female rather on you
I think we marry less because we've been hurt and disappointed so many times we're just tired and dnt wanna keep goin thru the drama (disrespect, cheating and other issues a lot of men bring to a woman). Which is why Im 5 yrs divorced. Thats just my opinion🤷🏽
And I wholeheartedly agreed with EVERYTHING you said!!! This is why I will remain single and celibate until the right one comes along! And if he never comes along, I'll be proud of myself for not settling! AND I'm already set in my ways, so I'm great with my "singledom", lol! I'm going to hate to make that man work overtime to melt this teflon heart, but it's called tough love towards my heart!
I felt that way at first but the hurt, drama, etc can be prevented when we set standards and apply what we now know. Its not just the men women are the other half. When I learned better, I did better...
Don't you think their was some emotion neglect going on too? I grew up with two parents in the home. I also did the pregnant / dropout of school/ single parent and I'm Hispanic. I also had very deep depression. However I found out later they were providers and emotionally neglected me and my sibling. They Call it dysfunctional. I am still having depression issues because of it. At least now I understand. I can't blame the parents. It was a cycle ... I saw it in my uncles and aunts etc...s
Evelyn Cruz please read about this.... CEN (childhood emotional neglect) ...I was neglected emotionally as a child too...I’m building myself day by day... it’s hard...we can’t blame our parents... we just can’t be like them... God bless Sis... I’m listening to on audible “Running on Empty No More ” by Jonice Webb... hopefully it will help you like it’s helping me...
Love all your videos Tony! You are thee best! Ladies, i would really like to share with you that I am a white woman and I was married for the first time to a white man at age 36. We divorced three years later. I made a poor choice for a man because i really just wanted to be married! I was a single mother for 18 years before i met him Also, I’ve dated several black men over the last 20 years and i have noticed a pattern that most of them did not want a real relationship or marriage (with me). At this stage in my life I realize i can be successful and peaceful without a man, and this is my hope for you, until you meet a high character man that adds value to your life! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Growing up as a kid, only one of my friends had both parents in the house. Everyone else ONLY had a single parent (mother) in the household. You are right about not being taught about marriage. I was raised in a single parent home, and marriage wasn't even a subject in my house. Only one of my aunts was married 2x, both were toxic and ended in divorce
Thanks for remaining real and grounded in Christ. When I was younger, I was listening to your dating advice and the advice of the young female pastor you mentioned. The fake are getting expose and you’re a real one!
We have the same issues in the UK, lots of single black mothers and not a lot of black marriages. Some black women in the UK are looking outside of the box with interracial relationships.
When you say black women in the UK , I guess you must be taking about Afro-Caribbean people. Marriage is very common and highly cherished among African people.
Prettyeyez123 Caribbean people in the Caribbean maybe, but British Black Caribbean people, no not really and I am one of them. Most British black Caribbean people I know including my own parents do not feel children need to be had within a marriage. I would say children after marriage still carries weight in British African households although that’s changing as generations go on. The British Black Caribbean women I know under 35 that are married are either married to white men or African men.
@@diplomatdiplomat2800 so many Africans in the US still don't get married and have children out of wedlock. If they are married, neither is faithful to the other.
Tony, I might be joining your church soon, because the way God has been using you in these videos lately, I’m not sure how much longer you’ll be able to hold out. I’m always on the verge of throwing my phone. The anointing is real, and any other followers of Christ on this channel know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!💃🏾
Mr. Gaskins, I absolutely love your commentary & your expertise. After being reminded by Sister Sharazad Ali, it is my belief & observation that we as a people are in bad condition all the way around in so many ways! Our women & men both need 2 be healed b4 we can come together & repair the relationships & family unit as a whole. How do we even begin? I feel like it's gonna take a century or more just 2 get right but with us putting in the work. Character development is key. You sir have evolved however so many others have not. Finances is a big part of all this but it has been used 2 replace the qualities we really need from our men to assist us as husbands & fathers. We have SO much work 2 do as a people, both women & men! It hurts me 2 the core to even think & process all of it. A divorced woman myself, I left my husband after giving him a decade to get himself together in all areas. He failed & after 18 years total, he still can't get right. I married with the hopes of building & not necessarily love but, it wasn't meant 2 be.
I'm not tryna be a BABY MAMA AT ALL. Why? I'M BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES, and I know a lot of BW feel that way too. Don't want to be part of the Baby Mama Culture instead we want to be a Wife. FYI: I'm not criticising Baby Mother's, so plz don't come for me.
I feel like you spent a lot of time speaking on the male experience versus the topic at hand which is black women and why we don’t marry as much as other racist. Based off what I’ve seen from the family structures within black families is that because the male isn’t present in the house little girls can grow up feeling like the single mom that raised them was enough and they simply don’t need a man to have a family. A little girl on a playground of the summer program I worked at was playing house without a dad and when I asked her why she said she didn’t need a father. She told me her dad was around but I got the sense that he wasn’t active. A boy wanted to be the father and I told them to let him because I was trying to show them that fathers are valuable. But sadly a lot of children observe their fathers not necessarily knowing how to be present emotionally and mentally to create a stable household.
I was looking for THIS comment. As a single mom myself, I've been engaged a time or three. I have never had a problem with men not wanting to be married. I have a problem seeing the value of marriage for ME. Many times just being in a relationship with a black man is more work than it's worth. All black women are not as desperate to be married as they try to make it sound.
I truly believe a lot of black women claim they want to be married but don't want to do the work it takes to be a wife. Once they realize it does take work to be a wife...they aren't interested. If they really wanted to be wives...they would have made different choices in their 20s and early 30s to prepare themselves to be wives. Most women don't do that. I'm not judging how people live their lives...but the reality is that a woman who wants to be to just hang out, club, and run around with different men in their 20s is not preparing herself to be a wife. A person who sleeps around and makes 5 babies with 5 different men isn't preparing herself to be a wife. It's cool if you want to make those choices for yourself...but also understand that men see that. They are paying attention...and that's not what that they want for a wife. And I think deep down these women know it too but they don't want to stop doing what they are doing. When I was in college...the white girls were already trained...they were already marriage-minded at 20, 21...and those are the ones who got married at 24 and 25. Most of the black girls I knew were still "having a lot of fun". Most of those black women today have children but still single in their 40s and wonder what happened.
@@lisacox3750 Funny a lot of the girls in the comment section are complaining, but not once did I see any comment about cooking cleaning getting the kids ready for school/ sports teaching them right from wrong. Etc etc cooking breakfast for kids in the morning keeping the kids and family in the right environment. Funny my sister grew up with both parents and she’s married wtf did she do right that rest of you women are doing wrong I can tell you she listens to what her spouse was telling her a lot of y’all don’t know how to fucking listen and follow orders.
I grew up in a two parent household, but my father was not home a lot because he was OTR truck driver, which left my mother to be a single parent majority of the time. When my father was home, he didn't spend a lot of time with us, he was hanging with his homies, sometimes cheating on my mother with loose booty women. My father's mindset was as long as he provided for us, he didn't have to be present in the home and do what he wanted because that's they way his father was with him and his siblings.
Tayna Burton as i read your comments i can relate bcuz i was married to a trucker and that was definitely his mentality had his fling in every province. Had to divorce him and raised my son. My son now 21 and i fear he may follow his footsteps.
Raw and uncut for you for sure. This was deep. I appreciate you, thank you Tony & TG Family! I’m not LB 901 and haven’t been for 10-15 yrs, but there were some gems for me in here too! Time to listen at least one more time. Video saved & downloaded.
Thank God for the way I was raised and my parents who raised me, it makes sense that culture has a huge role to play in these issues, I'm West African, a two parent household is the rule not the exception, they stand ten toes down and make sure their kids get to the highest pinnacle although they might not connect emotionally or talk about relationships with you till you are a graduate, then they ask you to bring a husband lol, but now more than ever, I thank God for the strong sense of values instilled in me. I dont look to others for validation, I dont follow celebrities and I vet/test every Spirit before I receive a WORD from them, your lifestyle/fruits must prove what you claim to know/teach. A lot of people, men/women/old/young look up to me bcos they see the light in me, people know when it's real, each one reach one, teach one, uplift one...be blessed Tony for this word, continue to be a light.
BW are more educated, number 1 in starting businesses and more successful. Our counterparts are sub par....to say least. Lack ambition, no trade, minimum skill set, no stability, lack foundation, no leadership to name a few characteristics that are unbecoming. Black women step outside your pool 🎱. Boarden your dating horizons.💝
Sis, that's so easy to say, me personally I can't do that. A white man was interested in me and I asked him straight up if you have ever been with a black woman he said yes, that he loved it, his last relationship was with a black woman and he loves black women! Lord have mercy, to even contemplate going on a date with a white man I can't do it, sorry. My current mindset is, black men abound, they are available and God will do it for me
Woman Of God i definitely feel you on this ! But at the same time, the ratio is all out of wack. There is more POTENTIAL QUALITY BM then quality , unfortunately. I’m not willing to raise a man or support a jail bird or deal with mediocrity forever. I see both your points
Young man you have the best explanation on this topic I have ever heard. I don’t agree with you on the police thing(some incidents yes) but not all but you are right. It's the family structure.
Thank you for that word Tony. Ladies we need to pray for our black men in this country. They need our helpIf, let's stop bowing down to a man that won't bow down to God Almighty. Let's believe in having something real when it comes to relationships and Love.
...smh, wow...I need to call you comedian and Pastor Gaskins, 🤣😇. I swear your messages come RIGHT ON TIME all with great laughter while teaches us Ladies! Seems like i shed a tear either in laughter or inspiration your bring! Keep up the great work. I look forward to your daily messages🙏
No it won’t. Statistics don’t show that Christian children of single parent homes do better than their secular counterparts or even secular children with two parent households.
@@IncredibleIceCastle not sure what you interpreted from what I said, but I’m not speaking from statistics, I’m speaking from results. Christ will teach you the way, the truth, & the light despite what a person was deprived of or didn’t learn.
Amen Tony! I always knew I was on the right path. You always confirm my revelation. Keep doing what you do. When I try to become weak, you encourage me to stay strong. Be Blessed!!
Listen!!! When I mean this was fiyahh!! I'm talking Holy Ghost fire 🔥 That was a whole word and very encouraging for folks choosing to walk the narrow path. TY!
I agree with the slavery impact on relationships. But I think your backstory is relative to your environment. I grew up middle class. My cousins and I came from two parent homes and most of the kids we knew in school did too. I only had one girlfriend who was raised in a single parent home. I also think this is different for country black vs urban black. But the larger point of effectiveness whether in home or not is key. And even with the two parent homes I don’t think my brother was raised to be a husband though he was around marriages. I know I was raised to be self sufficient by our parents. That’s interesting. Im an educator in the wealthiest district in my state and at a pwi . White people (women) marry 2,3,4,5x. They marry husbands -friends brothers cousins bosses etc. We just aren’t raised like that. Perceptions are something else... I like the music example. I was just looking MTS on the gram & I felt sorry for her. Loved the last example which made so much sense! I’ve been on the fence about my mentor life. I’m going to do it!
Good video.. Man, my parents did not get along.. They fought like cats and dogs. But when it came to us, there were on one accord. As I’ve gotten older, I have learned to respect the fact that they hung in there and never split up.. I know these days, it’s unpopular to stay in a relationship when a person is not happy, but what constitutes happiness? It was difficult for me when I went through my divorce 5 years ago to accept it, because all I knew was regardless of most circumstances, you hang in there.. Although my parents are no longer here on this earth, and like one of my uncles said” they’re probably duking it out 6 feet under ground” they taught all of us a great lesson about hanging in there, and for that I thank them.
When we think certain women are winning they really are losing and are missserrabbblle! Men think about money and women want a husband His mindset has to change he needs positive reinforcements from other men that are married, and women we can’t settle and we can’t fold when it comes to our standards Tony dropped a lot of jewels in this post in so many different areas! Blessings Blessed Tribe🙏🏾
I would love if you could do an in depth video on “**** be winning” because it definitely SEEMS like they do. Thank you for this encouragement. I needed to hear this and be reminded to keep my standards and stay the course. 👍🏽 God bless you Tony. 🙏🏽
Lol Tony, you are right I have had people call me boring, lame, stuck, stupid. All because I'm not sleeping around, or following the crowd. I'm still working on myself so I'm far from being ready to be a wife, I'm working on achieving my goals.
This was one of the best podcast ever. You went deep and this is what we are. I read about our history and studied and be prayed about. I am going to register to be a certified LC and send a donation blessing. Thank God for you during these times. TG!..continue to let God use you and let the Mrs buy what she wants😃😂💯💯💕
I’ve been watching your videos for almost a year now . Each and every one of your messages hit home for me! Thank you for allowing God to use you, to bless us . I personally have grown so much from your teachings. Thank you thank you thank you !
Tony, Tony, Tony you must be in my head lol. You took so many words out my mouth including the build a body build a bear. I have been saying this same stuff for the last few years. Thanks for this. Confirmation. I plan to sign up for your life coaching training soon.
Yes! It may not be easy when they get older. However if you keep instilling good morals values support good education good communication and bouderies unconditional love and Godly morals Hopefully your child will be awake to what's going on I'm the world. Because all of these rappers celebrities movie stars and the world goverment system are all sellouts and satanist! And are trying to programme the kids with social media the tel-lie-vison. I hope you can keep it up cos it anit easy.💕
@@brandytucker4024 thank you! I will definitely do my best, but imma start out by censoring what he watches & listens to. If it ain't positivity & uplifting I turn the station. He be sitting watching Tony Gaskins listening to him 🤣 he's only 1
Hello, I just started listening to you about a week ago, and I now listen to you at work... in my singleness season I used to be anxious, but now I'm grateful God introduced me to your youtube channel so now I get to gain wisdom and knowledge, and be better prepared for my next/last relationship. Thank you Tony Gaskin for keeping it all the way real. Frfr
We are hardpressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement we are perplexed, but not absolutely with no way out. Never be Anxious about the next day for each day has enough of its own troubles. God bless you all.
So thankful for Tony preaching and teaching to all the ladies I wish I could have known this info In my 20s but better late than never, the last shall be first🙏🏽
Hi Tony..Its 11:55 pm. Just finished listening to your video before going to bed. I had a very strong feeling that you was talking to me. I signed my last message to you DIVA NYC. Well, I'm going to change my name to "LADY IN WAITING." NYC. LOL. I'll listen again. Thank you, I needed to hear this. This time you did bring tears to my eyes but they was happy tears. I have been waiting for a long time. And staying off my BACK for 8 years. I started talking to a young man in November last year. Over the phone for 4 months. We never met, but we did facetime. It was the best 4 months of talk in my life without sex. I'm smiling just thinking about it. We talked for hours. I felt like a women for the first time in my life. I do everything now with a smile on my face. I thank God for him sending me a man to talk to, laugh with and showing me that they are out here. I stayed off my back and kept my legs cross sitting. He moved on which is ok. Someone is coming just for me. And I'll be ready with a 😊. Sign, Lady in waiting, NYC
It’s that mouth and attitude. I literally just broke up with my girlfriend, because I told her all the time to ‘allow me to be a man.’ In other words, she was too bossy.
Tony, I just had this conversation yesterday. I agree with what you are saying, but my thing is this. As black people we understand the breakup of the family through the welfare system, however, now that we know better, we have to do better and it starts with the black man.
I think the Red Pill Men Movement helps to answer this question to. It’s A movement that believes in MGTOW (Men going their own Way) and not involving themselves with serious relationships. I would love to hear Tony’s perspective on these “Red Pill Men” and how woman can avoid being used for casual relationships by them.
@@natashafreeman2220 He's mentioned them before, and affirmed that they were hurt and bitter men. They're this way because they pursue women "out of their league" and ultimately wind up getting rejected (and "played") in the end.
Re-up for 2020! Renewal is needed! We have forgotten. We had marriage also. Renew the commitment. Marry in the house like they used to do! Love again! Under ONE roof! Resist Moral Corruption!
I can't tell you how many guys I attract and when I make it known that the intimacy I accept is beyond the physical they just ghost. It's like they like me they want to start something with me but there has to be 6 there and I'm not trying to hear that. I am so beyond that so I'm always grateful when they disappear because I know they are not the one. Telling me I'm pretty or telling me I'm fine it just isn't enough because I know those things I want someone who can acknowledge and enjoy the innermost of my being which is so much deeper than the external.
Thank you so much Sir for the educational message. This is a topic that needed to be talked about. Something I have always pondered when seeing everyone else holding hands walking on the beach except bm and bw.
Thank you Brother Tony. I deeply appreciate this video for myself and as the role of single auntie. I raised my hand on that one. Blessings to you and your family and the Holy Spirit for putting you to work on this message to our people.
Thank you for telling the truth...black males are not raised to value marriage...most are raised to avoid it by other Grown Boys and it's so sad to look all the beautiful sisters alone...while you see majority of white women married!😥
So so true...but their marriages are still so out numbered than ours and lot of them prosper and stay together till death. I've met more of them married in the church than us as well.
I also lamented the fact that we want what our counter parts want but why is it so difficult for us to obtain? Once again who are our black men's influencers? If they are not coming in contact with God fearing men who can impart wisdom about responsibility and that there is power in the family unit, then they will get misinformation from other men who are satisfied with leading a mediocre life. In their youth they are doing the things that society feels is ok hence the boys will be boys mentality instead of building with a wife while they are young which cement a solid foundation for their children and themselves. Instead they play with no thought about getting old or plans for the future. They get older with multiple jobs, no stability and don't let an illness hit them. Only then they want to find someone to settle down with when they won't have anything to offer or give. They then as one woman said doesn't really want a wife but a nurse to take care of them. So sad but keep praying that our black men wake up, support each other positively and break this cycle that is destroying the existence of the black family unit. I still believe in black love.
@@sheliaglass484 ..... You can't make families from split or broken families. The ideal situation is to marry the one you have kids with. But alot of BW have kids from more than one man. How do you fix that? This is one big mess that will take a couple of generations to fix...I dont think its worth it -- collectively
Young men of all races these days don't want children and don't want to be married or have long-term relationships. Myself included. I don't condone leaving your children or breaking women's hearts or anything... but the single life and freedom really is too great to give up
Alexander Boles some men out here are loose as well so whom are you to judge! The man that God has for her is not a simp no human being is anyone’s second best that mentality is grade school!!! She is a human being a person with a heart and soul! Why are you so evil why do you like to remind people of their shortcomings or mistakes what makes you worthy of such judgement? Why call another man a simp just because he decides a different reality why don’t you just be happy to see change I guess it’s hard for you to see change if you have never had to do it!!
We have to break generational curses. Even if you are already considered a stereotype. We WILL break generational curses.
MasterGlam Amen Sis! Our past shouldn’t determine the future 🙌
I am working hard breaking the generational curses RightNow.
Latoya Gentles Youre not alone Queen
@@Yna-u3g BellaBianca TV
BellaBianca TV
This is a discussion that the entire black community needs to have. I know so many BW who desire marriage and I have met many BM who don’t value marriage. As a single mother of one son I purposely moved to an area where most of the black people in the community where married couples. My son’s mindset is to find the right woman to MARRY and build a life with and to have kids with his wife. This is also an area I have prayed many times about because I get sick of meeting BM in their 40’s and darn near 50 still talking about how they’re not ready to marry. I’ve also had WHITE and HiSPANIC men comment to me how puzzling it is that I’m not married yet and that it seemed like BM just don’t want to marry. Those convos are embarrassing because it tells you their perception of BM which is negative. As BW we have to STOP giving BM wife benefits. After I had my son I said I would never have another child unless it was with my husband. I’m proud that I’ve raised my son to be a HUSBAND and FATHER. And yes we have to be open to whoever God has for us because He May have to send a man from another race/culture. In the meantime let’s continue to pray that BM’s mindsets will shift for the betterment of our community.
LC Jones Amen sister.
Aaaaaaaamen! 👏
Absolutely and that they HEAL!
You are so right. I agree and feel the same way. Raise our sons to be marriage minded and build a strong family unit.
I have a small son and I want to raise him to have a family mentality but I want him to find a HELPMATE not a help me. I want him not know his value as well and don't settle as well
“This generation rewards the ratchet and rebukes the righteous.” TG
Thats how the Racist Regime wants it.
Yasmin York
We know it, and still fall for it.
Absolutely right...
AMEN!
Yes really crazy
We have a scarcity mindset and waste time with men we know are not good for our future. We have to improve our elimination game!✌🏽
That scarcity mindset is a killer in our community on so many fronts 😩
AN Morgan yes!! From business to relationships! I’ll be the change I want to see so it starts with me. 🙂
Black women can attract all types of men but choose the wrong one.
Process of elimination
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Hmm....my God. My Pastor preached the same thing on Father's day. He said the white supremists don't want you all to know that there is power in marriage and the family. My God, we need to get it together as black people
🇹🇹
That’s heavy! There is power in marriage and people are pretending as if there isn’t!
Propaganda has told us other wise
A lot "white supremacists" act like they are at a frat party and seem like they don't want to marry either. (at least that is how it seems today) I am white (an older woman of 54 years) and would like to see black folks get married - (as well as white people married; fornication is a sin as well) I hate seeing young women getting test driven and dumped, and strung along and stalled out, hopeful and heartbroken; I hate the injustice of it.
Single motherhood is horribly affecting the black community as well. 💔
@AB C Also speaking to our kids in a real way. My parents are still married till this day but my Dad didnt ask me about sex till I was 21. "Yeaaahhhh...Okay Dad. 🙄"
Baby momma goals are real!
"Lost like an upside down GPS"
"Reward the rachet and Rebuke the righteous'
Tony you make my day when I listen to these videos.
Have a blessed day ❤️
Yana C THIS!!!!
Yana C And BOTH should take accountability for birthing a child in unstable, unhealthy circumstances.
As a 33 year old black woman who wishes to marry and have kids it’s hard to stay hopeful that it will happen based on everything you said in this video! I’ll keep praying though! 🙌🏿
Please don't waste time wishing, and know that majority of this problem statically has nothing to do with you or other women with similar wishes. If you want marriage please seek to be the best you and be open to men from different cultures.
@@MsPapermill lol
Theres hope, be open to men from different cultures as well, it doesnt have to be a black man or an american man, there are many good men also looking for good women.
Stay in prayer and continue to work on your 3 B’s life has different seasons for everything you never know when he’s coming but you will be ready when he does🙏🏾 blessings
@Trav Man, don't be talking with other groups about your own people. SMH. A lot of you black people are something else.
Tony Gaskins and Dr. Myles Munroe on repeat all day... both of their video’s on UA-cam has helped me through the pandemic and I will come out stronger.
One of my absolute favorites by Dr. Myles Munroe is In Pursuit of Purpose....life changing!
Girl, you can say that again! These 2 great are a blessing to the Black community.
Yasss Myles Monroe always makes me feel better and stronger
Focus on being your best self, no matter your skin color. As black women it starts with us, how we raise our black sons, how we treat ourselves, and others around us. We can't depend on these men to fix the problem. If you happen to be a single black mom do your very best to raise kids that people dont have to recover from. We cant fix our generation of people all at one time but with one person, one child at a time we can create generational blessings, and we must put God first in all we do!
LizzyLewis you also need to be raising your black daughters to know their worth. Black men are not the only ones of importance. Young black girls should also be the focus
This rhetoric is sickening. Black men are not the only ones to blame for women not marrying. Low standards, promiscuous behavior, unrealistic standards, children before marriage etc. Please listen to other sources of information and not just men who cater to women to increase viewership.
@*kyla* strawberry well the divorce at a higher rate than anybody else so a ring won't fix the problem.
At least she admits they the ones raising our sons. Thats one of the problems.. no wonder they told black women we will help u but get that man out the house. Smh
Lots of responsibility for just Black women in this post.
Shift the narrative, stick to your standards, stay the course and don't take the easy way out!! Focus on changing yourself, and not changing a man. 💎🙌🏾
👏👏👏👏👏
Great philosophy! ✅
Well said.
Work on yourself! 😘
Absolute truth, Tony thank you for beautiful transparancy. I always hoped for a union with a black man but it is not working out that way. Met a wonderful white man who is loving on me ( not on my back)with kindness and sweetness. I still adore black men.
👏🏽👏🏽
LOL!! Excellent...stay off your back. :-)
Agreed! I met a white man that is loving and wants commitment whereas my last situationship with a BM was about getting on my back, period!
@@jasminalums1985 exactly, and this is why so many black women are unmarried, they have this undying loyalty to BM, a loyalty that is not reciprocated by BM and an unwillingness to explore options outside of BM and this is why so many BW are unmarried
When the spirit came in and touched Uncle Tony. LMBO. Let him use ya!!!(in my old grandma voice)
I’m not black but I’m here to listen, to learn, to understand and to share the joy, the pain of my sisters in Christ Jesus💜.
Man, the real part of this message is at the end for me! I'm enjoying this single season right now and BUILDING!
Awesome video been telling my daughters and a few of my associates Tony Gaskin is like the dad I didn’t have to pour into me about black men and how they operate so thank u so much not very tech savy so haven’t found ur cash app to give to ur ministry at my age and not getting out much u have given me peace as a black women I have never had from any black man so plz send me easy steps to get into ur cash app so I can sow into ur ministry bet u didn’t know you would have so many grown daughters did u ?
Not “Build a Body, Build A Bear”, “thotiana”, and “Ratchet Ruby” “Loose Booty 901”...😂😂😂😂😂 💀 💀💀
He Cracks Me Up w/His Many Colloquialisms 🤣😂💖
😂🤣😂🤣 love him
😂😂😂😂 giiirl I be dying laughing! And don't let him sing splackavellie, 😭 -stick a fork in me, im done!
@@Ashley08888 😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
I thought about the Kardashian’s and Nicki Minaj when he said that 😂😂😂
Isn t it sad that people are so superficial? They loose sight of what really matters. The heart and character of the person.
Regards from Spain
Noelia
Wow! “This generation rewards the rachet and rebukes the righteous!” TG, I am speechless because truer words have NEVER been spoken!!
Rumi said *“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself".* We must be the example we want to see ladies and gentlemen. Overall great message Tony.
God Bless Tony, This message here needs to spoken into our Black Men and Women Spirit. I'm 55 and so much I didnt know. I'm a divorced Mother of 4 and a Grandmother of 9. This is a family sit down for sure. I'm calling a gathering. OOOOH give us more I wish you could come head this meeting. I have 7 Grandsons and 2 Granddaughters that need to know there history so we can all start. Making a difference . Thank you for your Obedience
The black family was so strong in the 1970’s. Black men where in the home. Black families were large as well. Then there was a switch in the 1980’s with new economic changes that affected the home like drugs such as crack cocaine and single parent families.The black family became dismantled. Black women became devalued because of the they “live off the government” stereotype. Black women have never totally recovered. Some Black men still devalue black women and do not marry them. Just my opinion growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s.
That's not true. The black family actually started to already go down by the late 1960s and there is plenty of statistics that will explain why. So, the effects had already started in the 1970s...it probably just wasn't as noticeable until the 1980s. I've looked at the statistics for years so I know. It started with globalism in the 1960s. For many years, black men made good money working in car plants and factories. That's why Detroit was so popular for so long..."motor city". Well, most of those factory and car plant jobs were sold overseas. That meant those jobs that black men had for years where they made good money to take care of their families disappeared and never came back. A lot of those black men became desperate and got into drug dealing, other ways to make money to take care of their families...or some just abandoned their families altogether.
Since the days of convict labor, the prison industrial complex has always been a deliberate means of preventing Black marriages, creating single-parent families, and destroying any opportunity for Black economic parity.
Facts 💯
I want to get married it’s definitely a goal of mine to break generational curses. And my ex was brainwashed by his sorry a** mama .... that’s because she’s never been married so she discouraged him as much as she could which it worked. I refuse to be a baby mama. I want to marry a black man but it’s starting to feel like I gotta date outside my race 😪
Sounds like the mom was jealous if he did end up getting married because she never did, I am a single mother and if my son got married and had a happy marriage I would be happy for him even if I never got married. I swear people need to stop the pulling of the other crab who is about to be at the top back into the bottom of the crab pot. And I know how you feel I want to marry a black man but it feels like because of all the generational curses and the suppression of society on the black race especially on black males it makes it real hard to find one who is about marriage and want that. The music also doesn’t help as well. I feel if a lot of black men stopped listening to the music that speaks on: getting money, having a lot of females and playing them and doing drugs, I think we would have a difference in the quality of black men that there are today. I don’t let my son listen to Worldly music. I have to start young and he actually when I worldly song comes on he tells me to turn it off, so it’s working
@@Lacilove1991 that's good. I agree with everything u said. I liked what u said 🤗👏👏👏
Natasha Mcclellan thank you dear. I Just speak from experience. I wish more people spoke on the evil indoctrination of music especially hip hop. One guy Stephen Darby goes into depth about the music industry in a few of his podcast and how the United States was built and what the evil foundation it was built on which is the Illuminati.
Laci Davis Right.. Yes he is good ‘ Stephen Darby I think we all need to share his videos. That’s why I don’t listen to hip hop now r&b im struggling with . This is so true this is satan world& his music. I see why our God Jesus don’t want us to listen to this type of music.
You probably will have to open up your options sis, I know that for myself, I am more than alright with that happening, as long as the man is truly Godly his race doesn't matter to me at all. In our community you don't see your "Tony Gaskins" as the norm.. Which is quite sad and disheartening.
I grew up in a two BLACK parent home. However, both of my brothers dated AND married WHITE women, and so have a couple of my uncles. I don't think it's that they don't want to marry, i believe they dont wamt to marry a BLACK women.
You're legit surprised? Make it make sense...
I'm confused...if they are your brothers...why couldn't you have a conversation with them to determine why they married white women over black women? That way you know for sure and are not assuming it is just based on something arbitrary.
So true about black men not being raised to think marriage will help them. I remember talking to my sister about this and she said how they even put it in a lot of movies.
Its called programming. 😔
Yea, I'm a single mom of a son & spoke to him early on about not knowing how to be a Man but spoke on Marriage, valuing himself & not sleeping around. He's 20 now & still says he wants to be financially stable so he can provide for his family & only wants to start a family when he finds a Wife.
What does marriage do for a men who already is on his purpose?
Newking_god Tony has a video called the benefits of marriage. Check it out
Today marriage will hurt more than help if it doesnt work .
Thank you for acknowledging the influence of music!! Do you know most people don't realize or maybe understand how much the music influences these kids?
I love listening to you Tony. I'm 62, and wish I knew during my youth what I know now because of your God imparted wisdom.
Oh, I knew to keep my legs together and did way more than some but I have made mistakes that way too.
God has brought me to the perfect point in my life to purchase your course and embark on a new journey in becoming certified and writing a book and whatever else is in store for me to realize my purpose in helping other people. Been through a lot, and seen a lot, have a lot to offer others.
I purchased the course this morning.
I am so excited...... LOVE listening to you talk..... You crack me up!
Good Bless You Brother.
“LOOSE BOOTY 901” Tony please🤣🤣🤣
Edit: This is exactly why i’m going into psychology. Our people need healing💗
Yesss he is too funny at times! Loose booty 901 and Thotiana
The way I I hollered when he said that😂😂😂
Do it👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
+Faith Mckenzie Women that are police officers, lawyers and psychologists are generally women men want to avoid..
@@ajbimg am a black man comfortable in his own skin thus why would I want to avoid black ladies with intellectual sexiness appeal to them; it doesn't make sense especially if building generational wealth with someone of substance is concerned. Or do you want to be right in everything you do with a woman then that's not on a female rather on you
At large, the music industry isn’t helping us at all. Thank you for pointing that out.
I think we marry less because we've been hurt and disappointed so many times we're just tired and dnt wanna keep goin thru the drama (disrespect, cheating and other issues a lot of men bring to a woman). Which is why Im 5 yrs divorced. Thats just my opinion🤷🏽
It’s a honest assessment
And I wholeheartedly agreed with EVERYTHING you said!!! This is why I will remain single and celibate until the right one comes along! And if he never comes along, I'll be proud of myself for not settling! AND I'm already set in my ways, so I'm great with my "singledom", lol! I'm going to hate to make that man work overtime to melt this teflon heart, but it's called tough love towards my heart!
I felt that way at first but the hurt, drama, etc can be prevented when we set standards and apply what we now know. Its not just the men women are the other half. When I learned better, I did better...
Men just need to grow up. And be faithful to the Queens. And do right by good women.
@*kyla* strawberry you right
Yo my MANS is Preaching! Thank you Jesus for TG! Always with the timely word! Thank you tony! 🙏🙏🙏
Don't you think their was some emotion neglect going on too? I grew up with two parents in the home. I also did the pregnant / dropout of school/ single parent and I'm Hispanic. I also had very deep depression. However I found out later they were providers and emotionally neglected me and my sibling. They Call it dysfunctional. I am still having depression issues because of it. At least now I understand. I can't blame the parents. It was a cycle ... I saw it in my uncles and aunts etc...s
Evelyn Cruz please read about this.... CEN (childhood emotional neglect) ...I was neglected emotionally as a child too...I’m building myself day by day... it’s hard...we can’t blame our parents... we just can’t be like them... God bless Sis... I’m listening to on audible “Running on Empty No More ” by Jonice Webb... hopefully it will help you like it’s helping me...
Love all your videos Tony! You are thee best! Ladies, i would really like to share with you that I am a white woman and I was married for the first time to a white man at age 36. We divorced three years later. I made a poor choice for a man because i really just wanted to be married! I was a single mother for 18 years before i met him Also, I’ve dated several black men over the last 20 years and i have noticed a pattern that most of them did not want a real relationship or marriage (with me). At this stage in my life I realize i can be successful and peaceful without a man, and this is my hope for you, until you meet a high character man that adds value to your life! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Looking forward to you speaking on this topic.
The🌏is upside down! You better preach Tony!!!💯👌
Truth!
Growing up as a kid, only one of my friends had both parents in the house. Everyone else ONLY had a single parent (mother) in the household. You are right about not being taught about marriage. I was raised in a single parent home, and marriage wasn't even a subject in my house. Only one of my aunts was married 2x, both were toxic and ended in divorce
" just because it's normal don't mean it's right" you betta preach!!!!!
Love that you told the story about your wealth. So many African Americans need to hear stories like this so we can gain a different perspective.
Thanks for remaining real and grounded in Christ. When I was younger, I was listening to your dating advice and the advice of the young female pastor you mentioned. The fake are getting expose and you’re a real one!
I'm so glad you touched on that crazy song. Monday, Tuesday etc. When I first heard it. I was blowed away.
Reporting for class!
We have the same issues in the UK, lots of single black mothers and not a lot of black marriages. Some black women in the UK are looking outside of the box with interracial relationships.
Why would you say that?
When you say black women in the UK , I guess you must be taking about Afro-Caribbean people. Marriage is very common and highly cherished among African people.
Its also highly cherished amongst Caribbean people too. (Afro is a hair type not a person)
Prettyeyez123 Caribbean people in the Caribbean maybe, but British Black Caribbean people, no not really and I am one of them. Most British black Caribbean people I know including my own parents do not feel children need to be had within a marriage. I would say children after marriage still carries weight in British African households although that’s changing as generations go on.
The British Black Caribbean women I know under 35 that are married are either married to white men or African men.
@@diplomatdiplomat2800 so many Africans in the US still don't get married and have children out of wedlock. If they are married, neither is faithful to the other.
Tony, I might be joining your church soon, because the way God has been using you in these videos lately, I’m not sure how much longer you’ll be able to hold out. I’m always on the verge of throwing my phone. The anointing is real, and any other followers of Christ on this channel know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!💃🏾
TT yaaaaaasssssss Sis!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣He goes suuuuuuupppper hard!!! He’s a blessing❤️
Yess! We do. He real. He ain’t playing church. ( In my Shirley Caesar voice)
Mr. Gaskins, I absolutely love your commentary & your expertise. After being reminded by Sister Sharazad Ali, it is my belief & observation that we as a people are in bad condition all the way around in so many ways! Our women & men both need 2 be healed b4 we can come together & repair the relationships & family unit as a whole. How do we even begin? I feel like it's gonna take a century or more just 2 get right but with us putting in the work. Character development is key. You sir have evolved however so many others have not. Finances is a big part of all this but it has been used 2 replace the qualities we really need from our men to assist us as husbands & fathers. We have SO much work 2 do as a people, both women & men! It hurts me 2 the core to even think & process all of it. A divorced woman myself, I left my husband after giving him a decade to get himself together in all areas. He failed & after 18 years total, he still can't get right. I married with the hopes of building & not necessarily love but, it wasn't meant 2 be.
I'm not tryna be a BABY MAMA AT ALL. Why? I'M BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES, and I know a lot of BW feel that way too. Don't want to be part of the Baby Mama Culture instead we want to be a Wife.
FYI: I'm not criticising Baby Mother's, so plz don't come for me.
I feel like you spent a lot of time speaking on the male experience versus the topic at hand which is black women and why we don’t marry as much as other racist. Based off what I’ve seen from the family structures within black families is that because the male isn’t present in the house little girls can grow up feeling like the single mom that raised them was enough and they simply don’t need a man to have a family. A little girl on a playground of the summer program I worked at was playing house without a dad and when I asked her why she said she didn’t need a father. She told me her dad was around but I got the sense that he wasn’t active. A boy wanted to be the father and I told them to let him because I was trying to show them that fathers are valuable. But sadly a lot of children observe their fathers not necessarily knowing how to be present emotionally and mentally to create a stable household.
I was looking for THIS comment. As a single mom myself, I've been engaged a time or three. I have never had a problem with men not wanting to be married. I have a problem seeing the value of marriage for ME. Many times just being in a relationship with a black man is more work than it's worth. All black women are not as desperate to be married as they try to make it sound.
I truly believe a lot of black women claim they want to be married but don't want to do the work it takes to be a wife. Once they realize it does take work to be a wife...they aren't interested. If they really wanted to be wives...they would have made different choices in their 20s and early 30s to prepare themselves to be wives. Most women don't do that. I'm not judging how people live their lives...but the reality is that a woman who wants to be to just hang out, club, and run around with different men in their 20s is not preparing herself to be a wife. A person who sleeps around and makes 5 babies with 5 different men isn't preparing herself to be a wife. It's cool if you want to make those choices for yourself...but also understand that men see that. They are paying attention...and that's not what that they want for a wife. And I think deep down these women know it too but they don't want to stop doing what they are doing. When I was in college...the white girls were already trained...they were already marriage-minded at 20, 21...and those are the ones who got married at 24 and 25. Most of the black girls I knew were still "having a lot of fun". Most of those black women today have children but still single in their 40s and wonder what happened.
@@lisacox3750 Funny a lot of the girls in the comment section are complaining, but not once did I see any comment about cooking cleaning getting the kids ready for school/ sports teaching them right from wrong. Etc etc cooking breakfast for kids in the morning keeping the kids and family in the right environment. Funny my sister grew up with both parents and she’s married wtf did she do right that rest of you women are doing wrong I can tell you she listens to what her spouse was telling her a lot of y’all don’t know how to fucking listen and follow orders.
Yup, they reward the ratchet & rebuke the righteous 🙌🏾...
Yup...black music!
I grew up in a two parent household, but my father was not home a lot because he was OTR truck driver, which left my mother to be a single parent majority of the time. When my father was home, he didn't spend a lot of time with us, he was hanging with his homies, sometimes cheating on my mother with loose booty women. My father's mindset was as long as he provided for us, he didn't have to be present in the home and do what he wanted because that's they way his father was with him and his siblings.
Tayna Burton as i read your comments i can relate bcuz i was married to a trucker and that was definitely his mentality had his fling in every province. Had to divorce him and raised my son. My son now 21 and i fear he may follow his footsteps.
Tony you are very knowledgeable beyond your years. Thank You 🙏🏽🥰
Yasss another great message.💪🏽🙏🏾 "Reward the rachet and rebute the righteous" TG..I hear you.👂🏽
Raw and uncut for you for sure. This was deep. I appreciate you, thank you Tony & TG Family! I’m not LB 901 and haven’t been for 10-15 yrs, but there were some gems for me in here too! Time to listen at least one more time. Video saved & downloaded.
I was raised up in a broken home. I desire to be married, however I just got to this point .
Thank God for the way I was raised and my parents who raised me, it makes sense that culture has a huge role to play in these issues, I'm West African, a two parent household is the rule not the exception, they stand ten toes down and make sure their kids get to the highest pinnacle although they might not connect emotionally or talk about relationships with you till you are a graduate, then they ask you to bring a husband lol, but now more than ever, I thank God for the strong sense of values instilled in me.
I dont look to others for validation, I dont follow celebrities and I vet/test every Spirit before I receive a WORD from them, your lifestyle/fruits must prove what you claim to know/teach.
A lot of people, men/women/old/young look up to me bcos they see the light in me, people know when it's real, each one reach one, teach one, uplift one...be blessed Tony for this word, continue to be a light.
Rachett Ruby, Thotiana, and Loose Booty 901, they sound like members the a new singing group. Lol
BW are more educated, number 1 in starting businesses and more successful. Our counterparts are sub par....to say least. Lack ambition, no trade, minimum skill set, no stability, lack foundation, no leadership to name a few characteristics that are unbecoming. Black women step outside your pool 🎱. Boarden your dating horizons.💝
Sis, that's so easy to say, me personally I can't do that. A white man was interested in me and I asked him straight up if you have ever been with a black woman he said yes, that he loved it, his last relationship was with a black woman and he loves black women!
Lord have mercy, to even contemplate going on a date with a white man I can't do it, sorry. My current mindset is, black men abound, they are available and God will do it for me
Woman Of God i definitely feel you on this ! But at the same time, the ratio is all out of wack. There is more POTENTIAL QUALITY BM then quality , unfortunately. I’m not willing to raise a man or support a jail bird or deal with mediocrity forever. I see both your points
Woman Of God i also cannot date outside my race 🤣🤣 i feel you 100%
@@womanofgod2948 You dont have to sis. They are the GMO version of the HUEman to keep it REAL.
@@_theerealnono_7694 Well if God ordained that, he will help me to accept it. We don't get what we WANT, but God gives us what we NEED
Young man you have the best explanation on this topic I have ever heard. I don’t agree with you on the police thing(some incidents yes) but not all but you are right. It's the family structure.
Thanks man. Staying blessed, single, standard filled, amen.
Lord I'll wait. You got us!
Awww mannnnnn the topic I’ve been waiting for. Let me go roll a few Ls for this one. I havent even watched it yet but GREAT VIDEO AS ALWAYS !! 😂
🤣😂
Thank you for that word Tony. Ladies we need to pray for our black men in this country. They need our helpIf, let's stop bowing down to a man that won't bow down to God Almighty. Let's believe in having something real when it comes to relationships and Love.
...smh, wow...I need to call you comedian and Pastor Gaskins, 🤣😇. I swear your messages come RIGHT ON TIME all with great laughter while teaches us Ladies! Seems like i shed a tear either in laughter or inspiration your bring!
Keep up the great work. I look forward to your daily messages🙏
Can I use that? " Reward the ratchet and rebuke the righteous "
I know one thing, once you get a relationship with Christ, it will overcompensate you growing up in a single parent household.
That is what happened..people chose the worldly over the godly.The Moral Corruption needs to be healed.
Yep fax bro AYEEEEEEEE
No it won’t. Statistics don’t show that Christian children of single parent homes do better than their secular counterparts or even secular children with two parent households.
@@IncredibleIceCastle not sure what you interpreted from what I said, but I’m not speaking from statistics, I’m speaking from results. Christ will teach you the way, the truth, & the light despite what a person was deprived of or didn’t learn.
Amen Tony! I always knew I was on the right path. You always confirm my revelation. Keep doing what you do. When I try to become weak, you encourage me to stay strong. Be Blessed!!
Listen!!! When I mean this was fiyahh!! I'm talking Holy Ghost fire 🔥 That was a whole word and very encouraging for folks choosing to walk the narrow path. TY!
I agree with the slavery impact on relationships. But I think your backstory is relative to your environment. I grew up middle class. My cousins and I came from two parent homes and most of the kids we knew in school did too. I only had one girlfriend who was raised in a single parent home. I also think this is different for country black vs urban black. But the larger point of effectiveness whether in home or not is key. And even with the two parent homes I don’t think my brother was raised to be a husband though he was around marriages. I know I was raised to be self sufficient by our parents. That’s interesting.
Im an educator in the wealthiest district in my state and at a pwi . White people (women) marry 2,3,4,5x. They marry husbands -friends brothers cousins bosses etc. We just aren’t raised like that. Perceptions are something else...
I like the music example. I was just looking MTS on the gram & I felt sorry for her. Loved the last example which made so much sense! I’ve been on the fence about my mentor life. I’m going to do it!
Solmom03 I’m glad you brought up regions. It’s different things that you see.
@Fancy Pants you are right! Middle Eastern people will marry family members before they marry outside their own.
Still here to listen and receive. Be blessed Tony and Blessed Tribe! 🙏🏽
U right in purpose on purpose. 🙏🏽💯
Good video.. Man, my parents did not get along.. They fought like cats and dogs. But when it came to us, there were on one accord. As I’ve gotten older, I have learned to respect the fact that they hung in there and never split up.. I know these days, it’s unpopular to stay in a relationship when a person is not happy, but what constitutes happiness? It was difficult for me when I went through my divorce 5 years ago to accept it, because all I knew was regardless of most circumstances, you hang in there.. Although my parents are no longer here on this earth, and like one of my uncles said” they’re probably duking it out 6 feet under ground” they taught all of us a great lesson about hanging in there, and for that I thank them.
(16:15) I'm glad you said it. Sometimes you have to separate from your own to thrive.
When we think certain women are winning they really are losing and are missserrabbblle! Men think about money and women want a husband His mindset has to change he needs positive reinforcements from other men that are married, and women we can’t settle and we can’t fold when it comes to our standards Tony dropped a lot of jewels in this post in so many different areas! Blessings Blessed Tribe🙏🏾
Yes!! Speak that truth!! Valuable information!!
I would love if you could do an in depth video on “**** be winning” because it definitely SEEMS like they do. Thank you for this encouragement. I needed to hear this and be reminded to keep my standards and stay the course. 👍🏽 God bless you Tony. 🙏🏽
Thank you for the encouragement...abstinent and have been single for 5 years.
Lol Tony, you are right I have had people call me boring, lame, stuck, stupid. All because I'm not sleeping around, or following the crowd. I'm still working on myself so I'm far from being ready to be a wife, I'm working on achieving my goals.
This was one of the best podcast ever. You went deep and this is what we are. I read about our history and studied and be prayed about. I am going to register to be a certified LC and send a donation blessing. Thank God for you during these times. TG!..continue to let God use you and let the Mrs buy what she wants😃😂💯💯💕
I’ve been watching your videos for almost a year now . Each and every one of your messages hit home for me! Thank you for allowing God to use you, to bless us . I personally have grown so much from your teachings. Thank you thank you thank you !
Stay the course... thanks for the message!!!
Tony, Tony, Tony you must be in my head lol. You took so many words out my mouth including the build a body build a bear. I have been saying this same stuff for the last few years. Thanks for this. Confirmation. I plan to sign up for your life coaching training soon.
Unfortunately it is generational pain Take accountability and work on Self🖤 Be blessed
Now I’m curious about your thoughts on plastic surgery. This video was a whole WORD!
As a whole, Black women aren’t raised to be wives and most of us don’t see the importance of marriage.
The devil is definitely running a muck through entertainment. I will not be allowing my son to listen to the radio.
Yes!
It may not be easy when they get older.
However if you keep instilling good morals values support good education good communication and bouderies unconditional love and Godly morals
Hopefully your child will be awake to what's going on I'm the world.
Because all of these rappers celebrities movie stars and the world goverment system are all sellouts and satanist!
And are trying to programme the kids with social media the tel-lie-vison.
I hope you can keep it up cos it anit easy.💕
@@brandytucker4024 thank you! I will definitely do my best, but imma start out by censoring what he watches & listens to. If it ain't positivity & uplifting I turn the station. He be sitting watching Tony Gaskins listening to him 🤣 he's only 1
Hello, I just started listening to you about a week ago, and I now listen to you at work... in my singleness season I used to be anxious, but now I'm grateful God introduced me to your youtube channel so now I get to gain wisdom and knowledge, and be better prepared for my next/last relationship. Thank you Tony Gaskin for keeping it all the way real. Frfr
We are hardpressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement we are perplexed, but not absolutely with no way out. Never be Anxious about the next day for each day has enough of its own troubles. God bless you all.
Tony you should be a Writer on a Hit T.V show. With your Experiences and Story telling abilities 💯
God bless you Mr Gaskins and give you more grace to do what you're doing; SAVING the World
So thankful for Tony preaching and teaching to all the ladies I wish I could have known this info In my 20s but better late than never, the last shall be first🙏🏽
Hi Tony..Its 11:55 pm. Just finished listening to your video before going to bed. I had a very strong feeling that you was talking to me. I signed my last message to you DIVA NYC. Well, I'm going to change my name to "LADY IN WAITING." NYC. LOL. I'll listen again. Thank you, I needed to hear this. This time you did bring tears to my eyes but they was happy tears. I have been waiting for a long time. And staying off my BACK for 8 years. I started talking to a young man in November last year. Over the phone for 4 months. We never met, but we did facetime. It was the best 4 months of talk in my life without sex. I'm smiling just thinking about it. We talked for hours. I felt like a women for the first time in my life. I do everything now with a smile on my face. I thank God for him sending me a man to talk to, laugh with and showing me that they are out here. I stayed off my back and kept my legs cross sitting. He moved on which is ok. Someone is coming just for me. And I'll be ready with a 😊.
Sign,
Lady in waiting, NYC
It’s that mouth and attitude. I literally just broke up with my girlfriend, because I told her all the time to ‘allow me to be a man.’ In other words, she was too bossy.
Tony, I just had this conversation yesterday. I agree with what you are saying, but my thing is this. As black people we understand the breakup of the family through the welfare system, however, now that we know better, we have to do better and it starts with the black man.
I think the Red Pill Men Movement helps to answer this question to. It’s A movement that believes in MGTOW (Men going their own Way) and not involving themselves with serious relationships. I would love to hear Tony’s perspective on these “Red Pill Men” and how woman can avoid being used for casual relationships by them.
Watch thier videos they will tell you why.
elizabeth garland I know why. It be nice to hear Tony’s perspective though on it
@@natashafreeman2220 He's mentioned them before, and affirmed that they were hurt and bitter men. They're this way because they pursue women "out of their league" and ultimately wind up getting rejected (and "played") in the end.
Natasha Freeman
I’ll answer for Tony; “Close yo legs!” or “Stay off you byack!”
Follow Shera 7 and Chloe_ and this will counter every mgtow/redpill agenda. Never fails I promise
Wow I saw someone ask this question in the comments. Now here's a video and I'm tuned in!
Re-up for 2020! Renewal is needed! We have forgotten. We had marriage also. Renew the commitment. Marry in the house like they used to do! Love again! Under ONE roof! Resist Moral Corruption!
Good word! The last 10 minutes or so was that Spirit 🔥!
Thank you for eloquently speaking on a deep tissue with a spiritual mineset. I applaud you! 🤜🏿
I can't tell you how many guys I attract and when I make it known that the intimacy I accept is beyond the physical they just ghost. It's like they like me they want to start something with me but there has to be 6 there and I'm not trying to hear that. I am so beyond that so I'm always grateful when they disappear because I know they are not the one. Telling me I'm pretty or telling me I'm fine it just isn't enough because I know those things I want someone who can acknowledge and enjoy the innermost of my being which is so much deeper than the external.
They really doing you a favor though
@@87883 EXACTLY!
Same here. If a man really wants more he will stay! "Go home Roger" these legs don't open.
Thank you Tony for unapologetically spreading the TRUTH!!🖤
Thank you so much Sir for the educational message. This is a topic that needed to be talked about. Something I have always pondered when seeing everyone else holding hands walking on the beach except bm and bw.
Thank you Brother Tony. I deeply appreciate this video for myself and as the role of single auntie. I raised my hand on that one. Blessings to you and your family and the Holy Spirit for putting you to work on this message to our people.
Thank you for telling the truth...black males are not raised to value marriage...most are raised to avoid it by other Grown Boys and it's so sad to look all the beautiful sisters alone...while you see majority of white women married!😥
@@stephaniebrooks6211 You are absolutely correct!
So so true...but their marriages are still so out numbered than ours and lot of them prosper and stay together till death. I've met more of them married in the church than us as well.
I also lamented the fact that we want what our counter parts want but why is it so difficult for us to obtain? Once again who are our black men's influencers? If they are not coming in contact with God fearing men who can impart wisdom about responsibility and that there is power in the family unit, then they will get misinformation from other men who are satisfied with leading a mediocre life. In their youth they are doing the things that society feels is ok hence the boys will be boys mentality instead of building with a wife while they are young which cement a solid foundation for their children and themselves. Instead they play with no thought about getting old or plans for the future. They get older with multiple jobs, no stability and don't let an illness hit them. Only then they want to find someone to settle down with when they won't have anything to offer or give. They then as one woman said doesn't really want a wife but a nurse to take care of them. So sad but keep praying that our black men wake up, support each other positively and break this cycle that is destroying the existence of the black family unit. I still believe in black love.
@@sheliaglass484 ..... You can't make families from split or broken families. The ideal situation is to marry the one you have kids with. But alot of BW have kids from more than one man. How do you fix that? This is one big mess that will take a couple of generations to fix...I dont think its worth it -- collectively
Young men of all races these days don't want children and don't want to be married or have long-term relationships. Myself included. I don't condone leaving your children or breaking women's hearts or anything... but the single life and freedom really is too great to give up
I cancelled my membership to the loose booty club.
+Kimberly Awoke Too late, should have rebuked the membership about 10 years ago, no simp is going to pick you now.
Alexander Boles some men out here are loose as well so whom are you to judge! The man that God has for her is not a simp no human being is anyone’s second best that mentality is grade school!!! She is a human being a person with a heart and soul! Why are you so evil why do you like to remind people of their shortcomings or mistakes what makes you worthy of such judgement? Why call another man a simp just because he decides a different reality why don’t you just be happy to see change I guess it’s hard for you to see change if you have never had to do it!!
WOW!! TONY!! You hit the nail on the head and described me around 34:00-35:00 BRAVO my brother!!!
Lmbo Build a Bear🤣Rachet Ruby omgg my stomach hurts🤣🤣