Every Stellaris run in a Nutshell

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  • Опубліковано 6 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 10 тис.

  • @KuramiGaming12
    @KuramiGaming12 2 роки тому +11936

    Aliens: you spent 1000s of years killing each other why? Humans: Practice

    • @khnelli4918
      @khnelli4918 Рік тому +1023

      Never underestimate our ability to find new ways of Killing eachother.

    • @jamescawl6904
      @jamescawl6904 Рік тому +945

      ​@@khnelli4918 we started with throwing rocks.
      We ended with throwing rocks really fast that it tears the fabric of reality.

    • @Ronald98
      @Ronald98 Рік тому +384

      @@jamescawl6904 And we ain't even done yet...

    • @jamescawl6904
      @jamescawl6904 Рік тому +317

      @@Ronald98 We will never be done.
      The Ultimate dakka will always br out of our grasp.

    • @megsisded8688
      @megsisded8688 Рік тому +84

      ​@@jamescawl6904 *ULTIMATE* *DAKKA*

  • @omganotherun
    @omganotherun 5 років тому +36093

    They are called "Human Rights" for a reason.

  • @dafasamudra6398
    @dafasamudra6398 5 років тому +9861

    Cant be crimes against Humanity if they're not Humans.

    • @pancytryna9378
      @pancytryna9378 5 років тому +418

      Give this man a succesor chapter

    • @obijuanquenobi1911
      @obijuanquenobi1911 4 роки тому +136

      I don’t recall them ever signing the Geneva Convention and i’m pretty sure human rights don’t apply to them either.
      B U R N T H E H E R E T I C S

    • @thatonedude05
      @thatonedude05 4 роки тому +106

      Their existence is a crime against Humanity

    • @chromosomedcollector
      @chromosomedcollector 4 роки тому +36

      The salamnders summed up in one sentence

    • @BaldPolishBiotechnol
      @BaldPolishBiotechnol 4 роки тому +24

      Another comment that deserves 40K likes!

  • @austingole4861
    @austingole4861 3 роки тому +14213

    The message that an alien empire has claimed one of your systems is just a switch in stellaris players brains that makes war crimes seem quite reasonable

    • @rodzioh3395
      @rodzioh3395 3 роки тому +2203

      They are called "HUMAN rights" for a reason

    • @pyro111100
      @pyro111100 3 роки тому +1749

      *Random empire that is pathetic in every category claims some random system where the only resource is a 1 energy stat star*
      "This is an insult that calls for some non-existent neighbors"

    • @commissarkordoshky219
      @commissarkordoshky219 3 роки тому +454

      @@pyro111100 this sound like space dwarves with a book of grudges

    • @michka841
      @michka841 3 роки тому +614

      Random neighbor Empire: "we want the X system"
      Me, a militarist Empire: *"COME AND TAKE IT"*

    • @tnynfox1669
      @tnynfox1669 2 роки тому +117

      @@rodzioh3395 once, the Imperium of Man claimed many of my materialist space bird's systems, but didn't carry it through.

  • @MRmeomania
    @MRmeomania 5 років тому +17329

    This feels like a kindergarden song in WH40K Universe

    • @patrykjasinski968
      @patrykjasinski968 4 роки тому +823

      You summed it up perfectly!

    • @electrohalo8798
      @electrohalo8798 4 роки тому +226

      Yes

    • @mightykanohii
      @mightykanohii 4 роки тому +892

      In 40k there is no kindergarden. Only War

    • @notaheretic6675
      @notaheretic6675 4 роки тому +773

      @@mightykanohii its called a scout company basicaly toddlers by astartes standards

    • @Riggsradar69
      @Riggsradar69 4 роки тому +277

      @@notaheretic6675 The Boy Scouts xD

  • @BLOrtega
    @BLOrtega 4 роки тому +6935

    "I'll be a diplomat"
    *7 years later*
    "ABANDON REASON! KNOW ONLY WAR!"

    • @maynardz03
      @maynardz03 4 роки тому +441

      FOR THE EMPEROR

    • @literallyjustthor2558
      @literallyjustthor2558 4 роки тому +217

      AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    • @Spartan135
      @Spartan135 4 роки тому +289

      Me:Begin to survey the galaxy
      *devouring swarm appears at my borders*
      ME:FOR THE EMPEROR!LET NONE OF THESE MUNCHERS SURVIVE!

    • @gwenthegigachadess5157
      @gwenthegigachadess5157 4 роки тому +49

      Let the galaxy burn!

    • @austingole4861
      @austingole4861 4 роки тому +63

      @@gwenthegigachadess5157 You dare insinuate the burning of the emperors galaxy, the inquisition will have your head for that heretic!

  • @N.-1016
    @N.-1016 6 років тому +4377

    Soldier: Sir, 20,000 Xeno ships approaching! What should we do?
    Commander: ... Fix Bayonets.

    • @HailNeatoBurrito
      @HailNeatoBurrito 5 років тому +516

      THE PLANET BROKE BEFORE THE GUARD DID!

    • @Revan41411
      @Revan41411 5 років тому +114

      Dam right OORAH

    • @actualgamer6286
      @actualgamer6286 5 років тому +164

      And some say that there are still holdouts on the chunks of Cadia.

    • @ErnestAutist
      @ErnestAutist 5 років тому +53

      Hanz... Get the shovel...

    • @VIixIXine
      @VIixIXine 5 років тому +29

      @@ErnestAutist wrong regiment

  • @TheDevilslayer101
    @TheDevilslayer101 2 роки тому +12782

    "You can't truly call yourself "peaceful" Unless you are capable of great violence. If you are not capable of violence, You're not peaceful, You're harmless."

    • @qui-gonjinn3322
      @qui-gonjinn3322 2 роки тому +843

      I will take that phrase for further use.

    • @TheDevilslayer101
      @TheDevilslayer101 2 роки тому +549

      @@royaltyfree9607 actually the quote was first used by Stef Starkgaryen. Perhaps Jordan used the quote but it was not originally his.

    • @TheDevilslayer101
      @TheDevilslayer101 2 роки тому +119

      @@qui-gonjinn3322 go ahead, it's not mine, it's a quote by Stef Starkgaryen

    • @RedWizrobe
      @RedWizrobe 2 роки тому +356

      “When a man is strong, he can make peace as he likes. But when he is weak, a strong man will come and do what he wants with him.”
      -Vlad “The Impaler” Dracula

    • @WhenDevilsDuel
      @WhenDevilsDuel Рік тому +30

      @@RedWizrobe Dracul*

  • @ryanluther5785
    @ryanluther5785 5 років тому +13773

    “I’m going to be diplomatic in this game. I will declare war on no one.”
    _”Though it rightfully belongs to us, [X] has laid claim to the [Y] system!”_
    *_” B U R N I N H O L Y F I R E “_*

    • @thatlass
      @thatlass 4 роки тому +670

      "Y'see, that's a system I'm very attached to- and you're declaring war! wonderful! have fun with that starhold! and that citadel!"

    • @GabrielShitposting
      @GabrielShitposting 4 роки тому +329

      I just take a hold of the council, make me alone the council, drown them in denoucements and then just steamroll them.
      You shame them, then kill them. So the others learn what to expect.

    • @Pharry_
      @Pharry_ 4 роки тому +134

      Anyone who plays pacifist is a coward

    • @Sam-ep2yo
      @Sam-ep2yo 4 роки тому +201

      *I will die a thousand deaths before I yield.*

    • @machixius
      @machixius 4 роки тому +54

      Play as an avid assimilated instead so you don’t need to listen to claims. They become you.

  • @jack1701e
    @jack1701e 5 років тому +9965

    Remember; its not a war crime if they're xenos, they signed no Geneva convention!

  • @Matt_781
    @Matt_781 5 років тому +8324

    Proof that aliens exist:
    How else could the original video get flagged for "hate speech"?

    • @JBGARINGAN
      @JBGARINGAN 4 роки тому +575

      Exactly, they are afraid of us because those lizard men know that we know that they exist and have infiltrated our governments and have used their influence to try to take down the video!

    • @icewolfwolfie173
      @icewolfwolfie173 4 роки тому +53

      what id happening here xD

    • @Ericobioas
      @Ericobioas 4 роки тому +79

      Because that is exactly how you start a genocidal campaign: start de-humanizing your target... Soon "good citizens" will have no issues killing them. And oh, we have seen it before...

    • @Matt_781
      @Matt_781 4 роки тому +290

      @@Ericobioas Fuck xenos. The Emperor of man has taught us better than that...

    • @JBGARINGAN
      @JBGARINGAN 4 роки тому +42

      We we're joking around about conspiracy theorists.

  • @UwU-xk5cx
    @UwU-xk5cx 2 роки тому +2385

    As Jack Handey once said "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it"

  • @derptomistic
    @derptomistic 5 років тому +6885

    "I'll try being diplomatic this game..."
    *A few moments later*
    "BURN IN HOLY FIRE!"
    "ABANDON PEACE! KNOW ONLY WAR!"
    "DESTROY THIS HERESY!"
    "Sure, I'll trade for a few more minerals"
    "NO MERCY NO RESPITE!"

  • @40kanon
    @40kanon 7 років тому +6408

    Let's celebrate what unites us all together, *xenophobia.*

    • @declanstoeckel2244
      @declanstoeckel2244 7 років тому +365

      Merry slaaneshmas

    • @TheCrazyTalkKid
      @TheCrazyTalkKid 6 років тому +69

      Khornemas/Nurglemas actually share the same time (red/green theme, amiright?)

    • @venetaris
      @venetaris 6 років тому +82

      Have a great horned rat day

    • @mahendrakrisnamurti9599
      @mahendrakrisnamurti9599 6 років тому +159

      40kanon hey... joke aside, this is quite true. What unites mankind would be another enemy beyond mankind itself.

    • @ardabaser1349
      @ardabaser1349 6 років тому +27

      uniting by purifying other races, what a great idea!

  • @BTML498
    @BTML498 6 років тому +14679

    I want to be a pacifist, I really do... But the God Emperor of Man has taught me better than that.

    • @knightsotl796
      @knightsotl796 5 років тому +836

      For the Emperor!!!!

    • @drviper102
      @drviper102 5 років тому +695

      Xenophobic isolationists, everyone thinks you're gonna be passive, change the pacifism to militant out of nowhere and just curb stomp everything

    • @joecool2810
      @joecool2810 5 років тому +212

      AHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH, FOR THE EMPEROR! KILL THE HERETICS! BURN IN HOLY HELLFIRE!

    • @matthiuskoenig3378
      @matthiuskoenig3378 5 років тому +293

      @Jack Donaldson but if he is a skeleton, how can you kill him? checkmate heretic!

    • @Sir_Bucket
      @Sir_Bucket 5 років тому +91

      @Jack Donaldson The Beast was pretty close tho, with how he sieged Terra with a weaponized moon that was supposed to work as a teleporter.... To teleport the world of Ulanor (yes, that planet) right on the face of Terra

  • @fearlesspotato3429
    @fearlesspotato3429 2 роки тому +1335

    Imagine that 3000 years into the future humans are using this song as an ancient anthem of humanity in their wars against space bugs.
    Would you like to know more?

    • @humanityfirst8115
      @humanityfirst8115 2 роки тому +74

      Glorious. I would like to know more.

    • @x-a-
      @x-a- 2 роки тому +26

      I just hope this time, we succed against the Qu

    • @sangay9361
      @sangay9361 Рік тому +29

      @@humanityfirst8115 I’m doing my part

    • @blazednlovinit
      @blazednlovinit Рік тому +7

      @@sangay9361 Comment is over a year old and you beat me to saying this, by only 12 hours 😂😭😂

    • @nunya3963
      @nunya3963 Рік тому +3

      30000 maybe

  • @nauvis
    @nauvis 4 роки тому +7488

    I'll become a pacifist after they're all dead.

    • @WIZARDcz1
      @WIZARDcz1 4 роки тому +148

      Actually absolute peace and absolute pacifism is about wiping all life everywhere and ceasing from everything, every action. - Widespread Sterilization of all germs and lifeforms - That's why they say: rest in peace... peace is literally final death. (Btw, from point of view - hippies are the baddest hardcorest villains of them all) ... That what you mean is about ethics and anti-violence.

    • @WIZARDcz1
      @WIZARDcz1 4 роки тому +9

      Oh, and if you kill them all, it's just you, with your own monolog till eternity. Have fun with that. ;)

    • @inquisitorthomasdefinitely536
      @inquisitorthomasdefinitely536 4 роки тому +81

      WE WILL HAVE PEACE WHEN OUR ENMEYS ARE IN PEACES

    • @Lark88
      @Lark88 4 роки тому +5

      @@WIZARDcz1 Isn't that the plot of Mass Effect AND Halo?

    • @WIZARDcz1
      @WIZARDcz1 4 роки тому +3

      @@Lark88 basically yes, but also no.

  • @benjaminjones8782
    @benjaminjones8782 3 роки тому +23479

    I don’t understand why it’s called xenophobic
    A phobia is an intense and irrational fear
    I don’t fear Xenos
    Xenos fear me

    • @Wm7forthewin
      @Wm7forthewin 3 роки тому +826

      agreed

    • @gators2728
      @gators2728 3 роки тому +374

      This

    • @BSOE3058
      @BSOE3058 3 роки тому +1227

      Not phobia, *disgust*

    • @citizen_wayne
      @citizen_wayne 3 роки тому +550

      I just made a similar observation yesterday. I'm trying to make fearful isolationists, but all the xeno dialogue options have to do with threats and revulsion. I guess the mechanic works, it's just annoying for my RP purposes.

    • @saulgoodman2565
      @saulgoodman2565 3 роки тому +248

      Space Racism

  • @SSPObeserver
    @SSPObeserver 5 років тому +3136

    I’m having problems with my game around the 3/4 of my run, my most trusted and loyal son suddenly betrays me.

    • @andytorres6052
      @andytorres6052 5 років тому +193

      Lord Inquisitor Shadowlord then place my body on a golden throne

    • @arfn1973
      @arfn1973 5 років тому +45

      @Tactical Bacon Oh no.

    • @inciacci549
      @inciacci549 5 років тому +162

      @Tactical BaconRemember to declare a daily sacrifice of 1000 souls while speeding up time for, I dunno, tens of thousands of cycles? Tops?

    • @boliwijskisprzedawcakapucynek
      @boliwijskisprzedawcakapucynek 4 роки тому +8

      You know I think I know that feeling..

    • @gargoyles9999
      @gargoyles9999 4 роки тому +144

      Tactical Bacon don't forget to install a text to speech device first

  • @RobRIPDG
    @RobRIPDG 2 роки тому +892

    "Sir, theyre welcoming us with gifts and love"
    "Fkn savages. Prep the fleet for Exterminatus"

    • @Aceshot-uu7yx
      @Aceshot-uu7yx 2 роки тому +25

      The astrates have worked along side the eldar so many times know thst yvraine helped out on cadia. At this point the only thing stopping an alliance is the crappy administratum. To put it in perspective, the black templars have worked with them almost as much if not more than the ultramarines who win everything by default. The eldar are probably the best ally humanity has, and they got a fully intact religion to move to so people don't lorgar.

    • @cousinzeke4888
      @cousinzeke4888 Рік тому

      ​@@Aceshot-uu7yx There are only two problems with your idea. They're aliens, and you're a heretic.

    • @Freedmoon44
      @Freedmoon44 Рік тому +18

      ​@@Aceshot-uu7yx"fully intact religion"
      Look all they have left is a litteral clown, an Emprisoned Milf, a shattered angry Punching ball, and "Awaken my master", i dont call that intact lol

    • @starcatcherksp1517
      @starcatcherksp1517 Рік тому

      and is the IoM any intact@@Freedmoon44

    • @vergilREAL-d5t
      @vergilREAL-d5t 11 місяців тому

      there savages, savages

  • @Wei2Vile
    @Wei2Vile 4 роки тому +2727

    Alien: What do you call a group of aliens?
    Human with a shotgun: An Infestation.

    • @Spartan135
      @Spartan135 4 роки тому +42

      TFS reference! 🤣

    • @scoot.112
      @scoot.112 3 роки тому +8

      A group of aliens, at least in my language, is called a Kolan

    • @obiwankenobi3574
      @obiwankenobi3574 3 роки тому +45

      @@scoot.112 Aha! We found more xenos, READY THE EXTERMINATUS

    • @scoot.112
      @scoot.112 3 роки тому +7

      @@obiwankenobi3574 AH SHIT OH NO

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 3 роки тому +3

      @@scoot.112 *SHIELD*
      You okay?
      Personally i only look human
      But i got the skills of a 100 of them
      So get out of here quick!

  • @felipeneves7260
    @felipeneves7260 4 роки тому +3076

    "This Xcom game looks amazing, I'll ty it out just for fun"
    *400 hours later* :

    • @joshuaphillips3999
      @joshuaphillips3999 3 роки тому +153

      Yea stellaris eats time... Can't play it unless you have hours to spare and then only an alarm will make u realise the time

    • @definitelyaperson6334
      @definitelyaperson6334 3 роки тому +58

      @@joshuaphillips3999 need time to purge the galaxy

    • @victuz
      @victuz 3 роки тому +36

      @@joshuaphillips3999 Same with Total War Warhammer

    • @parallellia1509
      @parallellia1509 3 роки тому +5

      Lmao same here.

    • @JonatasAdoM
      @JonatasAdoM 3 роки тому +48

      @@joshuaphillips3999 Same with Total War.
      You'll go to bed strategizing your next actions and thinking about your borders.

  • @bszafraniec108
    @bszafraniec108 4 роки тому +12226

    It's not genocide, it's pesticide.

    • @bificommander
      @bificommander 4 роки тому +746

      THIS IS NOT A WAR
      THIS IS PEST CONTROL

    • @batukhan1
      @batukhan1 4 роки тому +164

      @@bificommander on a serious note, this is exactly how Nazi's conducted their genocide along with using pesticide as weapon.

    • @Devastator21
      @Devastator21 4 роки тому +355

      @@batukhan1 meh they call it human rights for a reason
      Edit:Holy shit that is alot of likes

    • @benedictalesandro6447
      @benedictalesandro6447 4 роки тому +109

      Hey hey people

    • @XtreemAlan
      @XtreemAlan 4 роки тому +35

      bificommander THIS IS NOT WAR
      THIS IS CYBERBULLYING

  • @nickpaschentis5284
    @nickpaschentis5284 3 роки тому +1190

    Killing Xenos isn't "Murder"
    It's called "Pest Control".
    For Terra,and the Emperor!!!

    • @xboy1064
      @xboy1064 Рік тому +10

      Warhammer 40k fans: 🤓🤓

    • @cmdrgarbage1895
      @cmdrgarbage1895 Рік тому +47

      ​@@xboy1064alright heretic

    • @highchaplainerebus
      @highchaplainerebus Рік тому +16

      FOR THE EMPEROR

    • @NoName-hg6cc
      @NoName-hg6cc Рік тому +12

      "This isn't war! It's PEST CONTROL!" Daleks

    • @light6666
      @light6666 11 місяців тому +1

      my oversized moths watching these "supersoldiers": get the can openers..

  • @curium9622
    @curium9622 4 роки тому +4054

    Scientists: Discover Aliens
    Normal people: I hope we can learn from them and life together in peace
    Stelaris players:

    • @captain-generalothinus3640
      @captain-generalothinus3640 2 роки тому +400

      Don't forget 40K players.

    • @Osean_Kitty
      @Osean_Kitty Рік тому +193

      And XCOM players

    • @aryanpandey8105
      @aryanpandey8105 Рік тому +65

      40K

    • @segwhkamaza6447
      @segwhkamaza6447 Рік тому +51

      ​@@captain-generalothinus3640 do you think they dont play stellaris eventually both sides will learn eachother at one point

    • @duraluminiumalloy9248
      @duraluminiumalloy9248 Рік тому

      And the scientists who discovered those aliens.
      They're not dumb and know how any significantly advanced civilization is a threat to literally everyone else.
      When was the last time someone carefully displaced all the anthills from a future construction site, so that ant colonies wouldn't be harmed? Why should this civilization care what we do as they build their Dyson sphere around our Sun?

  • @willichtenstein7071
    @willichtenstein7071 4 роки тому +6319

    I had a blossoming little nation of 12 worlds, 5 ring worlds and 6 station habitats. Then 3 empires of Xenos made a pact to conquer the Galaxy together. I was the last to fall, overwhelmed by an entire galaxy spamming military my direction. On that day I learned that peace can never be an option.

    • @construtordemundos3420
      @construtordemundos3420 4 роки тому +759

      You should have fortified key choke point systems to prevent them from ever entering your empire. An eternal bastion of freedom in cold dark galaxy.

    • @willichtenstein7071
      @willichtenstein7071 4 роки тому +552

      @@construtordemundos3420 The issue was I spent all my metal building ring worlds and shit I didn't fully populate. While the entire galaxy focused on ship production, aimed at me. I wasted my resources.

    • @construtordemundos3420
      @construtordemundos3420 4 роки тому +349

      @@willichtenstein7071 rip, I built citadels at all my border systems before starting superstructures. I mean I was already much more advanced than the rest of the galaxy, I did it because I really fear Fallen Empires.

    • @theinsidioushat7543
      @theinsidioushat7543 3 роки тому +120

      @@construtordemundos3420 And now we're having the War for Armageddon all over again.

    • @masculineman123
      @masculineman123 3 роки тому +63

      You should have fortified all your laylines connecting your stars to theirs and let them grind against you then make a full out attack against them and then extreminate then

  • @leelambert1559
    @leelambert1559 4 роки тому +4891

    “Ding Dong your race is wrong”

    • @ortherner
      @ortherner 4 роки тому +127

      “Ding Dong, your race ain’t Human”

    • @11Survivor
      @11Survivor 4 роки тому +258

      "Ding Dong your species is gone"

    • @civilrebel3743
      @civilrebel3743 4 роки тому +86

      The imperium of man endorsed all these comments

    • @J0hnHenrySNEEDen
      @J0hnHenrySNEEDen 4 роки тому +66

      Splish splash your ideology is trash

    • @senorsombrero1275
      @senorsombrero1275 4 роки тому +11

      You spelled *gone* wrong, mate

  • @jakeh9338
    @jakeh9338 2 роки тому +323

    O'Brien: "There are rules Garak, even in war."
    Garak: "Correction. Humans have rules in war. Rules that make a war more difficult to win, in my opinion"

    • @sakuranatsume6347
      @sakuranatsume6347 Рік тому +10

      DS9 reference... Based

    • @nick0875
      @nick0875 Рік тому +9

      If it weren't for Garak the Federation would have lost.

    • @taliawtf6944
      @taliawtf6944 Рік тому +9

      I wonder what Garak would have thought of the Imperium of Man. lol

    • @ClokworkGremlin
      @ClokworkGremlin 8 місяців тому +4

      Good men have no need for rules, and now is not the time for you to find out why we have so many.

  • @eisvisage1459
    @eisvisage1459 7 років тому +3148

    The song just fits perfectly for the game. Or rather, the game fits perfectly for the song, because the song is much much older.

    • @m0rtez713
      @m0rtez713 7 років тому +175

      Yeah it sums up the game...
      "Reality is funny."-Rogal Dorn

    • @Gordon519
      @Gordon519 7 років тому +11

      tts refrence?

    • @m0rtez713
      @m0rtez713 7 років тому +29

      Yes, No, maybe.

    • @hal41019
      @hal41019 7 років тому +6

      Yes.

    • @nessesaryschoolthing
      @nessesaryschoolthing 7 років тому +17

      I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

  • @sonaht7950
    @sonaht7950 4 роки тому +2422

    Listen man, all Im sayin' is that aliens DID NOT sign the geneva convention.

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 4 роки тому +178

      It's not a war crime if they aren't people.
      Humanity first. #xenocide

    • @magosexploratoradeon6409
      @magosexploratoradeon6409 4 роки тому +54

      I'm pretty sure the Geneva convention only applies to humans anyway.

    • @demosxn6722
      @demosxn6722 4 роки тому +6

      Yeah and we shot the ones that did

    • @ConfusedGuardsman
      @ConfusedGuardsman 4 роки тому +21

      Amen! Mustard gas is back on boys!

    • @ashenknight4023
      @ashenknight4023 4 роки тому +22

      Brother, get the Flamer. The HEAVY. FLAMER.

  • @corsaircarl9582
    @corsaircarl9582 7 років тому +6320

    Warhammer 40k: The Musical

  • @tls083097
    @tls083097 2 роки тому +293

    I used to think that it was bad that you played xenophobic since everyone hated you. After four runs I realized everyone hated me anyways. God Emperor bless us, for our aim is true.

  • @phantomwraith1984
    @phantomwraith1984 5 років тому +2719

    Humanity: **Discovers Aliens**
    Humanity: "So you have chosen Death!"

    • @Bloodlyshiva
      @Bloodlyshiva 5 років тому +9

      Don't slander Saruman.

    • @nichsa8984
      @nichsa8984 4 роки тому +3

      @OHGAS cannibalism humanoid hybrid bioengineering

    • @jonathanwells223
      @jonathanwells223 4 роки тому +6

      Bloodlyshiva Saruman isn’t even human, he is closer to a fallen angel than anything resembling one of the humans of Arda

    • @icewolfwolfie173
      @icewolfwolfie173 4 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/KaqC5FnvAEc/v-deo.html

    • @RedWanderer26
      @RedWanderer26 4 роки тому +2

      Well... If they will be good guys... Nevermind, BURN THESE XENOS!

  • @sgtrpcommand3778
    @sgtrpcommand3778 7 років тому +3480

    That soundtrack needs to be sent on a Voyager probe.

    • @IPFreelly604
      @IPFreelly604 7 років тому +52

      Look at the night sky and show me a red star.

    • @caelvanir8557
      @caelvanir8557 7 років тому +210

      What a great first impression...

    • @macaronisalad3038
      @macaronisalad3038 7 років тому +142

      this sounds like a genius idea

    • @m0rtez713
      @m0rtez713 7 років тому +48

      Souds good but that is a really bad idea.
      (An alien probe was found it delivered this message: ua-cam.com/video/O1CQ7Vwz8Eo/v-deo.html)

    • @eatenjaguar9854
      @eatenjaguar9854 7 років тому +19

      Tomáš Zummer can't get that link to work
      edit: just did and damn that's funny
      that wasn't where it was supposed to take me

  • @petersmythe6462
    @petersmythe6462 4 роки тому +7545

    It's not a crime against humanity if they're technically non-humans, right?

    • @imperialplebian2547
      @imperialplebian2547 4 роки тому +420

      Yes guardsmen, *NOW PREPARE FOR THE ENCOUNTER WITH THE GREEN SKINS, FOR THE EMPEROR!*

    • @inquisitorthomasdefinitely536
      @inquisitorthomasdefinitely536 4 роки тому +196

      we will have PEACE when our enemy’s are in PEACES

    • @Lord_Marshal_Valdar
      @Lord_Marshal_Valdar 3 роки тому +110

      Suffer Not The Xenos To Live!!! FOR DORN, FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

    • @scoot.112
      @scoot.112 3 роки тому +13

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    • @seekingabsolution1907
      @seekingabsolution1907 3 роки тому +34

      It is still a war crime. Also in Star trek they expanded it to "crimes against sentient beings" just to keep ahead of that sort of rhetoric.

  • @teslacoil5378
    @teslacoil5378 3 роки тому +355

    What's funny about this is that when I tried to purge aliens in my empire, my energy production from jobs started fucking tanking like hell, and so did several other resources... so I instead moved them all to a penal colony as slaves, dooming their species to an even worse fate than extermination. I love this game so much

    • @ninetails6218
      @ninetails6218 3 роки тому +32

      That’s hilarious

    • @teslacoil5378
      @teslacoil5378 3 роки тому +41

      @@ninetails6218 Quite. I find comedy in the death of all xenos, and their torture.

    • @trevordrakenor2063
      @trevordrakenor2063 Рік тому

      Either turn them into living battery or inflict upon them worse possible disease with genetic engineering. It's funny to see them cause havoc every few years in foreign empire.

    • @DIMONYYYYY
      @DIMONYYYYY Рік тому +9

      Рациональное распределение ресурсов

  • @emileturcotte8860
    @emileturcotte8860 6 років тому +12156

    Human race to human race : -YO GUYS WE FOUND OTHER LIFE FORMS
    -and?
    -That means we don’t have to hate and kill each other anymore, let’s just kill them instead!
    -YAEH

    • @poophead27_
      @poophead27_ 5 років тому +1155

      Humanity in a nutshell

    • @TheRealRusDaddy
      @TheRealRusDaddy 5 років тому +1211

      The only way to get humans to stop hating each other is an extraterrestrial threat

    • @thedrofdoctoring
      @thedrofdoctoring 5 років тому +575

      "oh shit we found a new type of snail. let's kill em'"

    • @e.dnautilis1618
      @e.dnautilis1618 5 років тому +783

      nothing bonds people together more then something everyone can hate

    • @petertitan99999
      @petertitan99999 5 років тому +619

      let's celebrate what unites us all, xenophobia - Ahriman

  • @Pr00ch
    @Pr00ch 6 років тому +5572

    Alien genocide isn't scifi, it's sciFUN

  • @AvianAfficionado
    @AvianAfficionado 4 роки тому +8948

    Xenophiles: Nooo, you can't do that! What about the Geneva Conventions?!
    Every Stellaris player: Geneva Convention? You mean Geneva *Suggestions?*

  • @imperiumbritannicum4323
    @imperiumbritannicum4323 Рік тому +57

    "Bring me my to-do list!".
    "But sire, isn't this the Geneva Conventions?".
    "Exactly!".

  • @BeondTheKDGaming
    @BeondTheKDGaming 3 роки тому +991

    Stellaris: where the Geneva convention becomes a checklist

    • @deal2888
      @deal2888 3 роки тому +32

      Might as well ignore those silly recommendations

    • @clawsidefilms7529
      @clawsidefilms7529 3 роки тому +27

      Not gonna brag but I am almost done with my check list

    • @Cl0n3pl
      @Cl0n3pl 3 роки тому +31

      Well, Geneva convention is about HUMAN rights, so...

    • @johannsigursson5319
      @johannsigursson5319 3 роки тому +10

      Well technically, the Geneva conventions' rules only apply when both sides are signatories or abide by them. So as soon as the alien combatant uses a flamethrower, gas, germ warfare, targets a hospital, hides among civilians (his own or ours), display a red cross on a white field without it being a hospital etc. then we can obey the conventions while we nuke the aliens into the stone age

    • @vs-dr4vp
      @vs-dr4vp 3 роки тому +5

      Peace is what cowards do

  • @matthewplancon
    @matthewplancon 4 роки тому +4197

    I love how my first play through I was a egalitarian and a xenophile surrounded by slavers and xenophobes so I was a liberator, after conquering my neighbors my empire had too many pops and I couldn’t sustain them well. So in my second play through I’m playing as a xenophobic slaver imperium and it’s working out better so... I think paradox supports the purging of alien species

    • @artruisjoew5473
      @artruisjoew5473 3 роки тому +218

      Nah you are just not doing it right. Xeno pops are very useful as they can have habitability on other planet types.

    • @rockspoon6528
      @rockspoon6528 3 роки тому +577

      @@artruisjoew5473 I'd rather terraform their corpses, honestly.

    • @chronusx877
      @chronusx877 3 роки тому +120

      @@artruisjoew5473 Huh, I just gene edit my slaves to my initial races preference and terraform everything.

    • @petersaint5581
      @petersaint5581 3 роки тому +50

      @@chronusx877 It really depends on what you're trying to accomplish, xenophobes dislike migration treaties so if you opt for the terraforming route it's worse early game but better late game

    • @esda2345i6oo
      @esda2345i6oo 3 роки тому +88

      ​@@artruisjoew5473 you spelled livestock wrong

  • @133rd
    @133rd 4 роки тому +1006

    I MEAN COME ON, THEY DONT EVEN FIGHT IN MELEE.

  • @flrs5858
    @flrs5858 2 роки тому +168

    I once tried to play a faction of benevolent peacekeepers dedicated to galactic peace. I can proudly say that after vassaling or exterminating the entire galaxy, its become significantly more peaceful.

  • @YEf-ix1yy
    @YEf-ix1yy 5 років тому +750

    "Ahh, I remember this song.
    Used to sing it all day when I was still in bootcamp in Cadia." - Random Imperial Guardsman

    • @molloch5995
      @molloch5995 5 років тому +35

      Tell Terra that the planet broke before the guard did

    • @MC-yg1mq
      @MC-yg1mq 5 років тому +14

      We will never forget cadia

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 4 роки тому +15

      Cadia stands.

    • @felipeneves7260
      @felipeneves7260 4 роки тому

      CADIA STANDS!

    • @badjuju2721
      @badjuju2721 4 роки тому +1

      *intense sobbing* CADIA

  • @godlymoose9118
    @godlymoose9118 5 років тому +3247

    Ah yes, Stellaris, my favorite mass genocide simulator, now kids, the only wrong answer in Stellaris is being a xenophile pacifist

    • @braincoolo9399
      @braincoolo9399 5 років тому +93

      Egalitarian Fanatic Militarist is the best btw

    • @driftingwolf0
      @driftingwolf0 5 років тому +168

      Dude the real answer is to fuck everything until you make the master race.

    • @nukclear2741
      @nukclear2741 5 років тому +50

      I'll... just... Take my 4 member federation and my vassal and just stick to the defense then.

    • @chairmanofrussia
      @chairmanofrussia 5 років тому +12

      BrainCoolo that sounds like america (egalitarian meaning libertarian in this sense)

    • @djliottchannel6416
      @djliottchannel6416 5 років тому +15

      Doinh materialist +fanatic militarist. Don't worry for the xenophobic part, unrestrained orbital bombing takes care of it...

  • @Susie_Legion_DBD
    @Susie_Legion_DBD 7 років тому +4453

    The Emperor Protects!

  • @TheSlamburger
    @TheSlamburger 2 роки тому +140

    Every time I have doubts about Humanity’s future, I simply come back to this video to reassure myself about our inevitable galactic dominance. And always remember: Humanity First And Only.

  • @canale39youification
    @canale39youification 6 років тому +1307

    While the enemies of the Emperor still draw breath there can be no peace.

  • @thepricklyprick
    @thepricklyprick 7 років тому +5086

    I'm a simple man.
    I see the God-Emperor, I give a like.

    • @christianyager991
      @christianyager991 7 років тому +250

      As a loyal Space Marine, I approve this message

    • @horus9442
      @horus9442 7 років тому +34

      Leman Russ Praise Russ, it's Leman Russ!

    • @theeternalchronicler3072
      @theeternalchronicler3072 7 років тому +17

      Makuta Texxidos I'm a simple man. I see a bionicle and I'll give the thing a like.

    • @camerondagiant3402
      @camerondagiant3402 7 років тому +6

      its not leman russ.
      It's clearly a mix of Magnus and Lorgar

    • @Jaghatai_Kahn
      @Jaghatai_Kahn 7 років тому +14

      Luke Pool
      You're all heretics, TIME to run you all down with my
      BANEBLADE!!!!

  • @Fire_of756
    @Fire_of756 4 роки тому +1227

    When you miss that one alien race you thought you killed at the beginning.
    "I think I'm losing my touch at genocide."

    • @ObligedUniform
      @ObligedUniform 4 роки тому +152

      And later when they join a Federation of surviving empires hostile to you:
      "And I just keep getting reminded of my failures!"
      "You mean your failure at killing us, or just in general?"

    • @seekingabsolution1907
      @seekingabsolution1907 3 роки тому +49

      When the last of them confronts you on another world decades later and fulfills an ancient prophecy to ascend past his limits and defeat you then let's you live because he enjoyed fighting you and wants to do it again some time but you betray him so he kills you and leaves you to die on an exploding planet that you made explode and then you get cyborg implants from your daddy only to get cut apart by a time traveling half breed, disintegrated, sent to hell where you get strung up by a bunch of fluffy animals in a cocoon only to be resurrected many more decades later to do the same thing all over again and then fight in a tournament with him to save your universe from Annihilation at the hands of some melon headed infant gods.

    • @Fire_of756
      @Fire_of756 3 роки тому +25

      @@ObligedUniform *Engage Exterminatus*

    • @falxblade1352
      @falxblade1352 2 роки тому +3

      @@Fire_of756 hell that's basically what happened in that scene

    • @jhersongutierrez305
      @jhersongutierrez305 2 роки тому +1

      @@seekingabsolution1907 what is this?

  • @tux75
    @tux75 3 роки тому +134

    Seeing a therapist: $100-$300
    Seeing this video: Free

  • @Einargizz
    @Einargizz 7 років тому +2649

    It's their own fault for being different.

    • @Mondy667
      @Mondy667 7 років тому +130

      Einar Gissurarson true

    • @kormannn1
      @kormannn1 7 років тому +29

      ok this sentence sounds like it is a meme but stupidest at same time among the others

    • @kingbrennus1580
      @kingbrennus1580 6 років тому +148

      They could've saved us the trouble and killed themselves. I guess they want it the hard way.

    • @kingbrennus1580
      @kingbrennus1580 6 років тому +24

      Here here! I can drink to that. Humanity: united against the xeno filth!

    • @leonardofranzinribeiro4220
      @leonardofranzinribeiro4220 6 років тому +28

      King Brennus xenophobia brings world Peace

  • @JackSilver1410
    @JackSilver1410 5 років тому +747

    "We're wasting our time fighting each other in this canyon. We should be out there discovering new intelligent forms of life... You know, fight them."

  • @Theakritas_
    @Theakritas_ 4 роки тому +9940

    The amount of human supremacists and propaganda in the comments before we have even conquered the whole galaxy makes me proud being human.

    • @tyvernoverlord5363
      @tyvernoverlord5363 4 роки тому +1055

      We're just getting ready, a few millennia in advance...

    • @jackstrayfeald1007
      @jackstrayfeald1007 4 роки тому +961

      Dominion over this galaxy is mankind's birthright!
      The stars, are ours for the taking!

    • @Jewish_Juggernaut
      @Jewish_Juggernaut 4 роки тому +399

      Dominion over the universe is our G-d given birth right.

    • @unifiedhorizons2663
      @unifiedhorizons2663 4 роки тому +348

      @@Jewish_Juggernaut glory to emperor

    • @johnsalchichon777
      @johnsalchichon777 4 роки тому +71

      Is that a furry

  • @arzantyt
    @arzantyt Рік тому +30

    POV:
    Alien: I select a random video from the human "internet" and that will determine our relations.
    The video selected:

  • @A_Spec
    @A_Spec 7 років тому +7241

    This is amazing. 10/10.

    • @christianyager991
      @christianyager991 7 років тому +124

      Glory to the Emperor of Man kind, he has blessed your comment👍

    • @Alduin7757
      @Alduin7757 7 років тому +90

      ASpec I knew you'd be here!

    • @justinsmith4116
      @justinsmith4116 7 років тому +29

      I am not surprised at this at all.

    • @krakerbox1108
      @krakerbox1108 7 років тому +25

      ASpec I'm reporting this SHAMELESS, OBVIOUS sock-puppet endorsement on what can only be your new music channel.
      /s

    • @hulaguilci7072
      @hulaguilci7072 7 років тому +4

      Aspec

  • @theinquisition7
    @theinquisition7 7 років тому +682

    We Approve.

  • @Marthyn96
    @Marthyn96 3 роки тому +626

    Can't wait to see this guy being canceled on space twitter in a couple of decades.

    • @j3lly_m3lly
      @j3lly_m3lly 3 роки тому +49

      can't w8 2 c this space twitter being canceled by mankind's space navy's bombardings in a couple of decades

    • @voidstrider801
      @voidstrider801 3 роки тому +33

      In space, no one can you hear you reeeeeee

    • @jimmcneal5292
      @jimmcneal5292 2 роки тому

      Modern woke civilization will fall quite soon, so I'm pretty sure that if someone will be canceled in space twitter, it's gonna be xenofiles

  • @sechernbiw
    @sechernbiw 2 роки тому +46

    I've been transmitting this into space for days. I hope they get the message.

    • @antolaks
      @antolaks 2 роки тому +1

      those space slimes better be shitting their pants

  • @ShadowcloneBeta
    @ShadowcloneBeta 3 роки тому +5521

    "I always play as a warlord, maybe I'll try playing as a pacifist this time around"
    *10 years later
    BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
    SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
    Quick Edit: I'm all about Nurgle, actually; IN THE GARDEN OF NURGLE, DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

    • @mousesteam7882
      @mousesteam7882 3 роки тому +261

      The emperor of man demands Xeno blood

    • @Bushy12
      @Bushy12 3 роки тому +197

      Brother...Get the Flamer....The HEAVY FLMMER.

    • @freddman0135
      @freddman0135 3 роки тому +75

      CHAOS WILL CONSUME YOU

    • @PolarisTheMorrigan
      @PolarisTheMorrigan 2 роки тому +52

      Chaos and Humanity unites to kill xenos…how fun

    • @jordanwebb1543
      @jordanwebb1543 2 роки тому +72

      MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES!!!!!!!

  • @somedude8468
    @somedude8468 3 роки тому +972

    stellaris is rated 7 in age recommendation so my little brother that just know how to turn on the computer can already make mass genocide... Great!

    • @lukasvoorhis6964
      @lukasvoorhis6964 3 роки тому +131

      Got to teach them early

    • @ftft117
      @ftft117 3 роки тому +151

      its pesticide not genocide

    • @UTDSM
      @UTDSM 3 роки тому +31

      @@ftft117 exactly

    • @Ibidesgsindl
      @Ibidesgsindl 3 роки тому +24

      You taught him well, brother.

    • @dango470
      @dango470 2 роки тому +16

      You do the Emperor proud

  • @ganonstonebreaker4231
    @ganonstonebreaker4231 4 роки тому +6231

    Stellaris: Where the Geneva Convention becomes the Geneva Suggestion
    Edit: My comment section has enlightened me further, So shall it be deemed "Suggestion". The Emperor Protects.

    • @kyodairiker
      @kyodairiker 4 роки тому +273

      The geneva convention are just guidelines anyways

    • @50calM82A1
      @50calM82A1 4 роки тому +270

      You mean the Geneva Bucketlist

    • @knightsotl796
      @knightsotl796 4 роки тому +135

      Well I for one truly subscribe to the geneva convention...as long as its about humans of course

    • @Mike-dh5ur
      @Mike-dh5ur 4 роки тому +34

      Can I use this comment for future reference?

    • @ganonstonebreaker4231
      @ganonstonebreaker4231 4 роки тому +18

      @@Mike-dh5ur By all means! Thank you

  • @hestiashearth478
    @hestiashearth478 2 роки тому +70

    Alien Empire: "Do not think to challenge us, inferior species!"
    My Intergalactic Human Empire: "The universe has denied us and therefore everything that is unlike us must be purged."

    • @StalkerX426
      @StalkerX426 8 місяців тому +2

      You mean *_"THE SUPREME MUTLIGALACTIC HUMAN EMPIRE"_*

  • @LanceDragonov
    @LanceDragonov 7 років тому +2312

    *[GREAT CRUSADE INTENSIFIES]*

    • @EJ-rl4ir
      @EJ-rl4ir 7 років тому +49

      DEUS VULT

    • @outrageddeer2101
      @outrageddeer2101 7 років тому +34

      shadowstorm heretic

    • @DoctorLifeMD
      @DoctorLifeMD 7 років тому +15

      God wills it!

    • @Nicolai0Nerland
      @Nicolai0Nerland 7 років тому +38

      FILTHY HERETIC. SUCH PRIMITIVE NOTIONS WAS LAID TO WASTE BY THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND!

    • @Plankensen
      @Plankensen 6 років тому +17

      12345combination #blamelorgar

  • @TheSeriouso
    @TheSeriouso 7 років тому +2746

    Ordo Xenos approves of your message citizen. Emperor bless you.

    • @kieranwilliams829
      @kieranwilliams829 7 років тому +161

      You called?

    • @baker90338
      @baker90338 7 років тому +5

      The kekistanians say hello!

    • @laurenforsyth8143
      @laurenforsyth8143 7 років тому +30

      Baker Tankersley Don't you mean Kekistanis, fucking normie.

    • @kallas1558
      @kallas1558 7 років тому +10

      Inquisitor, the valkyries are flying the bunkers in, we believe the ordo hereticus is needed.

    • @hellfire2180
      @hellfire2180 7 років тому +7

      You rang?

  • @coryfice1881
    @coryfice1881 7 років тому +2458

    When are we going to get human invasion movies? It's such an untapped market.

    • @jasoncross9354
      @jasoncross9354 6 років тому +752

      Cory Fice a few exist but they always side with the filthy Xenos.

    • @isabelpage5950
      @isabelpage5950 6 років тому +351

      Avatar?

    • @Rolan7196
      @Rolan7196 6 років тому +159

      Ender's Game sorta kinda, but the movie sucked.

    • @ichwanrasidi5934
      @ichwanrasidi5934 6 років тому +601

      We got Avatar, save for a few xeno loving heretic scum. The protagonist was crippled in his legs as he was in his soul.

    • @nathanielbables8652
      @nathanielbables8652 6 років тому +10

      Cory Fice There's Avatar

  • @attika3145
    @attika3145 2 роки тому +66

    Phobia? That’s an irrational fear.
    I’m not scared of Xenos. Xenos should fear me.

  • @music79075
    @music79075 3 роки тому +581

    "Its not fear its hatred, and its perfectly rational"

    • @Ibidesgsindl
      @Ibidesgsindl 3 роки тому +25

      Yes, I agree with this statement.

  • @jakefrost7404
    @jakefrost7404 4 роки тому +542

    *_"I liked him the moment my visor's targeting reticules locked onto him; both piety and hate echoed in his every word."_*
    _~ Reclusiarch Grimaldus, Black Templars_

    • @xfatoushe-6908
      @xfatoushe-6908 4 роки тому +1

      Who was Grimaldus talking about ?

    • @jakefrost7404
      @jakefrost7404 4 роки тому +55

      @@xfatoushe-6908 Commissar Sebastian Yarrick, the Hero of Hades

    • @xfatoushe-6908
      @xfatoushe-6908 4 роки тому +4

      Jake Frost ah I remember now. From Helsreach. That animation was Godly

    • @jakefrost7404
      @jakefrost7404 4 роки тому +6

      @@xfatoushe-6908 Durned skippy. Hiring the video's creator was one of the few things that GW managed to get right in recent years.

    • @JT-ho6rp
      @JT-ho6rp 4 роки тому +12

      Grimaldus embodies what it means to be a black templar more than anyone else. Hes grim, loves a good fight, and will die in good spirit while taking all of the emperors enemies with him.

  • @generalsemyon2369
    @generalsemyon2369 4 роки тому +4575

    Me: I’ll be a pacifist on this run
    Few hours later
    Me: it still count as peace if there is no one left to wage war

    • @michaelpetrovich5353
      @michaelpetrovich5353 3 роки тому +82

      It does indeed 😁

    • @chrisb9143
      @chrisb9143 3 роки тому +143

      "Finally, inner peace"

    • @untitleduck9623
      @untitleduck9623 3 роки тому +47

      Ghandi A.I. but as the player instead.

    • @jebkerman5422
      @jebkerman5422 3 роки тому +39

      The world must learn a peacefull way...
      *THROUGH FORCE*

    • @theimperfektman
      @theimperfektman 3 роки тому +6

      I'm sure all the exchange above me here neatly breaks down an entire College semester of philosophy and history.. though I am not sure how it would be titled

  • @tgcx4554
    @tgcx4554 3 роки тому +138

    I love that the easiest solution to racism is that we just need to find some aliens to hate instead

    • @ihsanulfikri9812
      @ihsanulfikri9812 Рік тому +23

      We have to channel the energy somewhere

    • @elishafollet5347
      @elishafollet5347 Рік тому +3

      But what happens when all those xenos are finally dead tho? Do we just automatically go back to being devided and hating each other again?

    • @davifernandopereiraborges5168
      @davifernandopereiraborges5168 Рік тому +12

      ​@@elishafollet5347do you know how big the universe is?

    • @taliawtf6944
      @taliawtf6944 Рік тому +8

      @@elishafollet5347 Hey there are other galaxies you know, suffer not the xeno to live. For the Emperor!

    • @elishafollet5347
      @elishafollet5347 Рік тому

      @@taliawtf6944 then we won't rest untill we e successfully purged every last one of em. FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!

  • @GeneralKaleRan
    @GeneralKaleRan 5 років тому +470

    I love that this is the 3rd result when searching "Stellaris"

    • @lorenadelcordonez1200
      @lorenadelcordonez1200 4 роки тому +11

      An update for you dude: now it's "how to play as humans" but don't worry, it still icludes aliens getting constantly slaugthered into extintion

    • @miguelpadeiro762
      @miguelpadeiro762 4 роки тому +23

      @@lorenadelcordonez1200 How to play as humans? Don't you mean how to play stellaris? Or are there degenerates who play as alien filth?

    • @jaxusr235
      @jaxusr235 4 роки тому +5

      Mr. Karl McYoda I’m afraid there are. Heretics who must be purged exist. Go my brother, do what must be done.

  • @migueldemanuel3918
    @migueldemanuel3918 7 років тому +1147

    The Ecclesiarcy, the Inquisition, the Codex Astartes, basically the whole Imperium approve this documentary.

    • @kabob0077
      @kabob0077 7 років тому +75

      I'm sure I heard the Emperor approve as well, but I can't be sure.

    • @KsPRNightrmare
      @KsPRNightrmare 7 років тому +2

      Fuck the emperor of man!

    • @kallas1558
      @kallas1558 7 років тому +40

      Valkyries are flying in the bunkers, the ordo hereticus should arrive soon.

    • @migueldemanuel3918
      @migueldemanuel3918 7 років тому +31

      Good, hope they won't suspect us as heretics, the Emperor protects!

    • @migueldemanuel3918
      @migueldemanuel3918 7 років тому +39

      Pfff, even a puny xeno sympathizer could pick a better xeno scum than that.

  • @LLT8
    @LLT8 4 роки тому +413

    Aliens: *Take an inch of my territory*
    Me: THE POPE CALLS FOR A SPACE CRUSADE

  • @eudescardozo3395
    @eudescardozo3395 Рік тому +17

    "The folks who ought to know told us how it must be"
    Shows the emperor of man
    Seems right

  • @Epic24123
    @Epic24123 4 роки тому +531

    pov: you are an alien coming to earth. wanting to sample what humans are like, you connect to their "internet" and search up "humans and aliens." this pops up first for whatever reason, and you watch this video

    • @killswitch_-ud7kf
      @killswitch_-ud7kf 4 роки тому +41

      "Hmm....these "christians" are pretty racist.....land the 1k strength army, we are gonna assimilate them, cant be racist if they are part of the machine intelligence"

    • @inventor121
      @inventor121 4 роки тому +65

      @@killswitch_-ud7kf 5 minutes later: Unimatrix 4751 has decided to nuke itself after assimilating several Christians including their priests. Reasons: Does not compute, Fatal logic error. Do not attempt contact with Humans, the entire species and all their planets are cursed.

    • @bramvanduijn8086
      @bramvanduijn8086 4 роки тому +15

      And then you read the comments.

    • @phantomwraith1984
      @phantomwraith1984 4 роки тому +21

      @@inventor121 galaxy wide message sent out: Avoid the Sol system and planet Earth. It's inhabitants, these humans, are cursed and fucking crazy

    • @Joshuaend
      @Joshuaend 4 роки тому +10

      @@phantomwraith1984 When The Theocratic Galactic government notice the abnormalities in the Galactic Mechanoid Empire: hmmm, why do our symbols and belief system being used by these primitive species?
      Can someone call yashua for me, he got some explaining to do.

  • @corruptg5914
    @corruptg5914 4 роки тому +843

    Dominate
    Subjugate
    Eliminate
    FOR THE EMPEROR

  • @AlphaWhiskey1996
    @AlphaWhiskey1996 7 років тому +753

    The accuracy of this video is unreal. I've never even played anything related to 40K before and the very first thing I did was form the Imperium and go on a genocidal rampage across the galaxy,

    • @plywoodman8626
      @plywoodman8626 6 років тому +20

      I always go pacifist xenophile.

    • @marsar1775
      @marsar1775 6 років тому +151

      Plywood Man you miss out on the joy and psychotic laughter of mass genocides.

    • @plywoodman8626
      @plywoodman8626 6 років тому +8

      genocide is too hard

    • @marsar1775
      @marsar1775 6 років тому +14

      Stalin just a Fellow russian comrade truth

    • @dangerjoe8911
      @dangerjoe8911 6 років тому +9

      Plywood Man hippie

  • @TheHill347
    @TheHill347 11 місяців тому +8

    EMPEROR SHOW MERCY TO THE FOOL WHO STANDS AGAINST ME, FOR I SHALL NOT!

  • @bertolaxe1386
    @bertolaxe1386 4 роки тому +340

    This video is sponsored by the Imperium of Man

  • @JamesKelly-rt3ul
    @JamesKelly-rt3ul 4 роки тому +3228

    honestly i think all racism would end if we found an alien sentient species. cause then it's all human versus space slime.

    • @LAV-III
      @LAV-III 4 роки тому +287

      @@kesorangutan6170 it’s also like that in other universes like Star Wars. Like how some humans born on Coruscant will view themselves as superior to those born on Corellia or the outer rim. Or in 40k where there’s a divide between space marines born on Terra and those born on their primarch’s homeworld.

    • @abcdfg5937
      @abcdfg5937 4 роки тому +248

      @@kesorangutan6170 Ngl bro, I share such sentiment. Earth gang rise up. Martian losers lmao

    • @abcdfg5937
      @abcdfg5937 4 роки тому +22

      @@kesorangutan6170 man.. earth is the PRC basically then, huh. Still though, I’m repping my home world.

    • @knightsotl796
      @knightsotl796 4 роки тому

      @@kesorangutan6170 So the racists are just another kind of authoritharian?

    • @KyleTremblayTitularKtrey
      @KyleTremblayTitularKtrey 4 роки тому +49

      @@LAV-III It's also like that on earth. Where the people living in cities think they are better more moral people and the rural folk are bumpkin undesirable backwards bigots and racists.

  • @vindicare9636
    @vindicare9636 7 років тому +1110

    "Let's celebrate what unites us all:Xenophobia"

    • @codyraugh6599
      @codyraugh6599 7 років тому +111

      is it Slaaneshmas already?

    • @Nestmind
      @Nestmind 7 років тому +19

      SLANEESHMAS!!!!!!!

    • @claypidgeon4807
      @claypidgeon4807 7 років тому +27

      +elektron117 Isn't Slaaneshmas the one day where you heretics _don't_ do that debased hedonistic grox-manure? Or is it just that you do it exclusively to xenos instead?

    • @datfisheboi6519
      @datfisheboi6519 7 років тому +5

      This made me laugh very hard for some reason

    • @IndeedYaBoi
      @IndeedYaBoi 6 років тому +4

      So let's all FUCK THE ALIENS!

  • @jayive34
    @jayive34 2 роки тому +35

    Learning about Alien biology and culture is extremely important.
    It give you an edge to bring them into the Emperor's fold and/or destroy them.

  • @roj0riot
    @roj0riot 6 років тому +5547

    i’m that one stellaris player who makes joke nations. i made owl nazis (the owlyan race) and chose one of the human name generators
    *sees planet in home system*
    oh. new jerusalem. that’s ironic
    *scrolls over planet. sees it’s a gas giant*
    OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE

    • @kevinbarber2795
      @kevinbarber2795 5 років тому +299

      Praise Kek! XD

    • @greymagic857
      @greymagic857 5 років тому +544

      something ain't right here..
      I just can't put my blonde hair blue eye'd self to understand..

    • @roj0riot
      @roj0riot 5 років тому +25

      Aeiou yes

    • @saberhap2639
      @saberhap2639 5 років тому +386

      Hootler

    • @stevez2158
      @stevez2158 5 років тому +47

      samwich I prefer cat nazis.

  • @XLHeavyD999
    @XLHeavyD999 3 роки тому +5399

    “I occasionally think how quickly our differences worldwide would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world.”
    ― Ronald Reagan

    • @karsten3360
      @karsten3360 3 роки тому +147

      Is that an actual quote or are you just messing with me

    • @JonatasAdoM
      @JonatasAdoM 3 роки тому +361

      @@karsten3360 Star Wars is true so it wouldn't be much of a stretch.
      Though it sounds like something out of Independence Day

    • @Astropeleki
      @Astropeleki 3 роки тому +320

      If it's an actual quote, I would disagree.
      I can see bad actors taking advantage of the alien invasion to take out their rivals, much like what happened to many Bronze Age civilisations when the Sea People attacked them.

    • @gators2728
      @gators2728 3 роки тому +61

      @@Astropeleki Sea People? What seapeople?

    • @MrJpc1234
      @MrJpc1234 3 роки тому +274

      @@gators2728 Name giving to one of the barbarian invasions that helped cause the collapse of the Bronze Age Civilisations......we dont know much about them thats why they arent more well known

  • @415-k1ub
    @415-k1ub 6 років тому +846

    "If you were given the choice, why do you still want to be the good guy"
    "Because being evil makes me feel bad"
    Stellaris players: Awkwardly looks away while causing a mass genocide on an entire species

    • @navilluscire2567
      @navilluscire2567 5 років тому +79

      Super late but...
      Stellaris player: Well I guess even a complete dick has feelings too...
      **in the background more civilizations are being wiped out because (poorly thoughout) reasons**

    • @Sorain1
      @Sorain1 5 років тому +90

      "Well I'd love to feel bad about it-" [Planet killer goes off in the background.] "-but I can't get five years without some crisis happening and no one is willing to STAY peaceful with me. Frankly at this point I'm out of patience."

    • @Andrewza1
      @Andrewza1 5 років тому +71

      It is not genocide it is pesticide

    • @triprs4896
      @triprs4896 5 років тому +21

      @@Andrewza1 Pest control, I guess. -))

    • @robertwood9572
      @robertwood9572 5 років тому +29

      Tried being friendly, neighbor civilization became assholes, claimed a star system, declared war, made a mess, soooooo my entire economy turned towards war and complete annihilation of said species. And their shit.

  • @marcdamon1471
    @marcdamon1471 8 місяців тому +5

    Upon looking up Stellaris on UA-cam this is the second video I see.. and I am proud of that
    *PURGE THE XENOS*

  • @coolrobby-fi2yt
    @coolrobby-fi2yt 3 роки тому +710

    The “it’s really in this year” quote makes me imagine humanity just exterminating everyone for a year because they felt like it, then become pacifist the next year.

    • @jacob414
      @jacob414 3 роки тому +27

      Tbh it will probs happen in the future lol

    • @hogsrider8319
      @hogsrider8319 3 роки тому +56

      Hunting Season

    • @Bob-rr7hj
      @Bob-rr7hj 3 роки тому +27

      You mean stress relief

    • @sm901ftw
      @sm901ftw 3 роки тому +22

      Can't be Xenophobic after all the Xenos are dead.

    • @TheRealVorynDagoth
      @TheRealVorynDagoth 2 роки тому +1

      Accurate representation of the middle run when all you're doing is building mega structures

  • @stingerrgb2754
    @stingerrgb2754 5 років тому +792

    Have no fear men of the Imperium. For a Primarch walks among us once more.
    The Emperor protects.

    • @harrymorris2361
      @harrymorris2361 5 років тому +44

      Yeah, Turns our Magnus is a pretty chill guy once you get to know him

    • @malekiththeeternityking5433
      @malekiththeeternityking5433 5 років тому +42

      Yes my boy Guilliman survived.
      Godammit Kitten I told you to cut the plug now I learn that he's tapping some Eldar thots ass too

    • @Unemerix
      @Unemerix 5 років тому +2

      M42 is just amazing after the end of the 13th black crusade i loove it

    • @Psychoangel-d23
      @Psychoangel-d23 5 років тому +13

      @@malekiththeeternityking5433 yup. Your Son Got to the legendary eldar booty First. Could have been you if not for fucking horus.

    • @trialnerror3643
      @trialnerror3643 5 років тому +5

      I would like to have seen Rogal Dorn or Lion El' Johnson return before...H I M

  • @voin5371
    @voin5371 5 років тому +938

    Xenos: Please! Mercy! Grant me mercy!
    Humanity: So any ways i started blasting...

    • @lorenadelcordonez1200
      @lorenadelcordonez1200 4 роки тому +24

      @Bob Bobbingtonit's not innapropiate if it's about alien genocide

    • @miguelpadeiro762
      @miguelpadeiro762 4 роки тому +19

      The geneva convention protects human civilians, that's about it.

    • @newkingdomofprussia9985
      @newkingdomofprussia9985 4 роки тому +10

      @@miguelpadeiro762 Lets learn to love our Neighbours like Christians did in Rome!! :)

    • @Epic24123
      @Epic24123 4 роки тому +6

      if they are humanoid, maybe let them off with terrible living conditions. other then that, purge anything that breathes (or decomposes, or makes energy from sunlight, or is a rock) that is also an alien!

    • @CataciousAmogusevic
      @CataciousAmogusevic 4 роки тому +12

      There is no mercy.

  • @ArgionXII
    @ArgionXII 10 місяців тому +9

    Here I´m about to spread this masterpiece again after the massive succes of HELLDIVERS 2.
    For DEMOCRACY!!

  • @12Prophet
    @12Prophet 7 років тому +261

    "Unless we get you first!"
    Love it.

  • @alricmalicorne321
    @alricmalicorne321 3 роки тому +3175

    IoM : "Rejoice, brothers and sisters, for we have come to save you..."
    Federation : "Hurray, it's the Imperium of Man!"
    IoM : "FROM YOURSELVES!"
    Federation : "Oh no, it's the Imperium of Man..."

    • @SangerZonvolt
      @SangerZonvolt 3 роки тому +255

      Ah yes, space Hellsing. Alucard on a space battleship is exactly what we need for a sequel.

    • @comteraffayn8351
      @comteraffayn8351 3 роки тому +143

      Please tell me that Alucard is a Radical Inquisitor and Anderson a Puritan one in this

    • @harrymorris2361
      @harrymorris2361 3 роки тому +162

      “Bitches love Bolters”

    • @PhoenixT70
      @PhoenixT70 3 роки тому +30

      @@harrymorris2361 I didn’t know I needed to read that.

    • @lukalovric2463
      @lukalovric2463 3 роки тому +58

      @@comteraffayn8351 Integra fits more as an radical inquisitor Alucard would be a demonhost or Eldar solitaire or Dark Eldar Incubus

  • @captainjackpugh6050
    @captainjackpugh6050 4 роки тому +445

    A person commented “This feels like a kindergarten song in WH40K universe”. And to that I reply, nah this is a nursery rhyme.

  • @mikelator96
    @mikelator96 Рік тому +19

    My armor is contempt, my shield is disgust and my sword is hatred

  • @imavanilleis
    @imavanilleis 7 років тому +531

    O R B I T A L B O M B A R D M E N T set to A R M A G E D D O N

    • @Korrwus
      @Korrwus 7 років тому +71

      You mean E X T E R M I N A T U S

    • @joew.3354
      @joew.3354 6 років тому +46

      PURGE TYPE
      [X] E X T E R M I N A T I O N

    • @steveisthecommissar4013
      @steveisthecommissar4013 6 років тому +1

      Little kitten: Hay what’s that (looks out window of ship to see an exterminatus) me: Imperial Justus to haritics.

    • @scatman5225
      @scatman5225 6 років тому +1

      Nah fire rail guns from a solar system away so they land a lightspeed

    • @scatman5225
      @scatman5225 6 років тому +1

      @Dcard Dcardian i have an idea why dont we make bullets put space marines in them and fire them into the planet

  • @cooliocon
    @cooliocon 4 роки тому +921

    “Is that a fleet coming towards our solar system Humans?”
    “No no no, they’re traveling to go deal with a pest control problem...”
    “Ok good day then.”
    “Yes yes good day, (prep the superweapon for full planet destruction)”

    • @phantomwraith1984
      @phantomwraith1984 4 роки тому +69

      Can't be racist against something that never signed the Geneva convention

    • @cooliocon
      @cooliocon 4 роки тому +4

      @@phantomwraith1984 very true.

    • @steelbear2063
      @steelbear2063 3 роки тому +14

      The Sword of Terra

    • @simonmalmstrom9593
      @simonmalmstrom9593 3 роки тому +12

      After a certain point into the game I couldn’t be bothered with conquering planets so I just made a super weapon and blew up every planet I came across

    • @maisondavis267
      @maisondavis267 3 роки тому +4

      World Cracker go brr

  • @CallanElliott
    @CallanElliott 5 років тому +1197

    Being a child is wanting to live in Star Trek's Federation.
    Growing up is realizing that the Imperium of Man is more realistic.

    • @pancytryna9378
      @pancytryna9378 4 роки тому +151

      FOR THE EMPEROOOOOOOR

    • @CallanElliott
      @CallanElliott 4 роки тому +60

      @Karl Quetzacoatl FOR THE EMPEROR!

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 4 роки тому +63

      I mean, at least we stopped fighting each other in one. For the most part.

    • @tacoblude8208
      @tacoblude8208 4 роки тому +8

      It isn’t more realistic dumbass. The only way for a species to become horribly xenophobic is if aliens bomb us to shit.

    • @CallanElliott
      @CallanElliott 4 роки тому +62

      @@tacoblude8208 Came down, it's a joke.

  • @Meus77
    @Meus77 Рік тому +13

    “My Lord, the galaxy is in turmoil, we can sit this out while they destroy each other.”
    “No. Gather them. I will take them ALL.”