I found Cathy's channel by way of yours, so thank-you! And I found yours via your intelligent and witty critique of costuming in historical movies and television. I have my own production company, so your video was, of course, irresistible...as well as educational and entertaining and oh so impressive! As a Native American seeking to over come racism in the movie industry and thus society, I have searched, often fruitlessly, for talented allies. I've reached out to you through Light House Agents, in hopes that I could muster sufficient charm to persuade you to explore the possibility of helping me work to eradicate racism through our talents.
Oh my dear, when I look at you I see a woman who knows who she is and is incredibly honest with herself. That's not fragility, it's a quiet strength that shines through.
I'm 63 and all my life I was labeled anti social. Since I retired I've become a sewer, a designer, a book lover, an historian. I was never anti social, I just didnt know how to cope with such a noisy, hectic world. Now, surrounded by friends they all see me as I've always been. Quiet, loving, artistic. Funny how time can teach us who we truly are. I so enjoy your channel, your art and your insight into the strengths, we share.
@Marta Aldama Cervantes Thank you! Is a verse from one of my favorite prayers in Latin "To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears". It's admitting that sometimes we are hopeless, and we may find ourselves in a valley of our own tears, but if we reach out we can be saved, not to focus on oneself and drown, but to focus on God and ask for help. I was raised Catholic, and I've found strength in that verse when I needed it in the past.
Im a tall and big viking looking man, i have to look strong and bombastic for the world, but i just cant... im here, listening to a hypersensitive sister and tears slowly flow on my bearded cheek. and the best part is that im not even ashamed thanks to your sharing.. Thanks you Cathy.
I couldn't agree with you more my sensitivity has helped me more times than I can count. It helped me mentally prepare before I had a car accident, and I was able to react calmly.
I love your videos! This was a window into my mind and I have forwarded this to ppl that I feel could learn more about me and possibly understand me better. Than you so much for sharing this window of you with the world. ❤️🏳️🌈❤️
You know, I’ve always been belittled for being “too” sensitive I’ve tried over the years to try and harden myself, or at the very least get better at hiding my emotions. Hearing this in such a kind and gentle way was so comforting thank you Cathy.
When I was little I believed in flower fairies. I would spend whole afternoons laying outside staring deeply into flowers. I just knew that if I was quiet enough, still enough, that the fairies would feel safe with me and maybe they would come out and we could play together. I lost that part of myself for a long time. I thought that growing up meant moving on from silly childhood fantasies like my world of flower fairies so I tried my darnedest to shut it away. That’s why I literally teared up when you talked about building a relationship with your roses as you nurture them. That’s exactly how I feel now that I’m learning to reconnect to myself, my imaginative, sensitive self. I realized that only good can come from standing in a garden, believing with every fiber of my being that I’m surrounded by this peaceful, gentle fairy world. It’s what makes me a good teacher, a creative person, and best of all, it’s what makes ME ^_^
Your comment is so familiar. I had a best friend who I had tea parties and built fairy furniture and moss houses with. This video is so wonderful. I feel so self assured. Thank you Cathy!
We all lose that part of us when we "grow up" and most don't ever find it again. I'm glad that you have found that again! I too have found it again but I don't think I ever really lost it. I might have kept it very quiet as I didn't want others to think I was mad!! But now I don't care! And people think I'm mad anyway lol. This is why I think we can learn from the children. The way they see things in the world is not full of complications or looking for a reason or an explanation of what they are seeing. They see things with awe and take things as they are. And we as adults lose that and we should try and get it back. Not everything needs an explanation or reason to be. The things I believe in some might think I should be locked in an asylum!! But I believe in them and I'm happy to. I believe that everything has a spirit and we can communicate with each other. But we have stopped listening to them. It still gives me a thrill when I hear my name being called by the wood or water spirits!! I'll stop here now in case some might send the people with white coats to my door lol. (And my two companions in life at the moment are two wolfdogs!! Apparently both are my spirit guardians! One in the spirit world and the other in both the spirit and in this world!) xx
As a teenager I was diagnosed with autism. At the time I hated it, I had a lot of misconceptions about autism. A friend told me she was surprised, because I seemed highly sensitive. I thought the two were opposites too then. Since then I have learned a lot about autism. The way you describe hsp makes me realise they're actually similar and it makes a lot of sense now.
Many people are realizing this now. Especially as the way autism or Asperger's shows up in women is different and only more recently being studied. I have gathered for years now that there are many deeply valuable sensitivities associated with autism
Oh hey, hello, another highly sensitive autistic 😊 I've read an article that give the hypothesis that, with the knowledge we're gaining currently about autism in AFAB people, the HSP label could also be some subset/manifestation of autism because it overlaps greatly with the part of the population that would also relate to atypical form of autism (mostly girls, women and other AFAB people that have a high masking mechanism). Just like many people with ADHD highly relate to autism when we get out of the antiquated and stereotyped view of the autism spectrum. I find the current discourse very interesting and I'm happy to see someone bringing it up here 😊
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that most "highly sensitive people" are autistic too. The concept that we lack empathy is woefully simplistic and downright wrong - but considering that a survey was done recently that demonstrated that autistic people were less likely to go against their morals for money, even in private, and that was STILL listed as a negative symptom by the researchers? It's hard to take much of what most autism research says about us seriously. Many autistic people are extremely sensitive and empathic. And I genuinely feel like "highly sensitive person" is just a more politically correct way of saying "autistic woman". (because let's be real, most HSPs are AFAB). Especially as the "creator" of the concept of HSPs has the misconception - and continues to perpetuate it - that all autistic people lack any empathy and that makes me so angry because it's so blatantly false. Beyond that, what she describes is virtually identical to how many - if not most - of my AFAB autistic friends feel and experience the world.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Honestly that would make sense. Though I would ask you not to use women and afab people synonymously. But yeah, gender does play a role. And it's interesting, I've seen people group trans people with their agab before when it comes to neurodivergence, and it has always felt off to me. Of course I can't speak for all neurodivergent trans and non-binary people, but as an autistic trans man, yes my experience differs from autistic cis men, but it differs from autistic women too (cis and trans).
This made me cry, I related to literally everything you’ve said and you’ve made me feel so much better about myself-that I’m not weak or childish, and that sensitive and mourning a dead rose bush and avoiding crowded spaces is okay. Thank you so so much.
I have come to the realization that I'm a HSP slowly (but surely) over the years. My father took me to a Christmas concert when I was a teenager and the music was so lovely I cried through the entire thing. When I was in Rome, at St. Peter's Basillica and turned a corner and saw the Pieta it literally took my breath away. I was overwhelmed by the emotion of the piece and had to go off to the side to collect myself. I have always been able to pick up on the emotions of the people around me, even when they are trying to hide them. I was emotionally devastated when I watched Schindler's List and was literally depressed for a month afterward. I have always been overwhelmed by sights, sounds and any sort of business or chaotic atmosphere. I thought I was just a weirdo but was happy to find that there is an explanation for all these things.
I once had someone say "You're _actually_ interested in this, aren't you?" to me, when we visited a museum with a group of people during a trip. It wasn't said in an accusing way, more bewildered and as if he had just spotted a very rare and uncommon animal. For most people it was more of a have-to-do-this stop for the trip to count as education which makes it possible to receive some government funding for it. Someone actually taking their time and taking an interest was very odd to them :D
Hai fellow nerd! If you enjoy Museums, I'm assuming you like history and stuffs, and maybe fossils... so I gotta recommend "Prehistoric Roadtrip" with Emily Graslie. It's 3 episodes that were on PBS, and should be able to be found online pretty easily. It was super entertaining and fun and Emily is the most enthusiastically, unapologetically nerdy person I've ever seen. She's amazing.
My sister has gotten so frustrated with me when we visit a zoo, aquarium, or museum, because I spend a lot more time looking at exhibits or asking questions of the docents.
Along with many of the commenters, I am not neuro-typical and my husband and 2 of my children are on the autistic spectrum and this is all very familiar! We have learned to use it as a positive and love it! People always mention how sweet and sensitive and caring my kids are. Thank you 😘
This is apparently not uncommon among those of us who have experienced childhood abuse. Reading extremely subtle body language/facial expressions becomes such an important survival skill, that we develop it to an extreme degree. It has helped me deeply connect to people in my life on a whole other level, and as terrible as it was, learning this skill, I'm grateful for it now, and the empathy it's brought me
So true. Add to that the fact that many people on the autism, adhd, and other spectrums - with pre-existing neuro-difference - often are subject to abuse, and to emotional neglect for lack of understanding their needs. Understanding and accepting ourselves and own needs is so essential in healing the wounds from abuse, no matter what kind of brain-wiring a survivor was equipped with at birth - "typical" or otherwise.
Connie Morin true. I could sense when my father was building towards an alcohol fueled anger explosion. It was like a building aura that I felt and my anxiety would grow with it. Then when it happened, I would kick into this weird counselor/hostage negotiator mode and proceed to manage and deflate the episode over several hours. I started doing this around age 10. I still find myself tuning into the emotional atmosphere of a group and trying to manage it to restore peace. It’s a good but exhausting behavior.
Connie ... you are ABSOLUTELY correct. While I cannot forget the horrible mental, emotional & physical cruelties my mother inflicted on me, I've surprised all get out out of myself for becoming grateful for the "fine tuning" of my read on people, places & situations. As Cathy explained ... it has helped me escape many very bad situations since.
Wow... makes sense. My mom often tells me about how as a very young child I would sit down and go through possible scenarios out loud of a conversation I planned to have with people and come up with the replies before I went and had the exact conversation I planned. And idk if she notices but in her examples she usually mimicks me planning conversations with my dad, the abusive parent :P I definitely paid a lot of attention to how he reacts to things.
As the youngest of five children, quiet space was hard to come by, but as I think about it more I remember my favorite places to hide. I had a big closet that I liked to go sit in and shut the door. I had a nook next to the cupboard, where if I opened the cupboard door all the way, the door made a dark little box (which was next to the heating vent so it was always warm). Behind couches, inside a large hamper, rolled up inside of blankets like a burrito... maybe I couldn't be alone but I realize now that even in a house full of people (I always shared a room with at least two siblings) I found separate spaces of my own. Being "sensitive" has always been used as a negative thing, and it has held me back from doing some things that "normal" people find success at. I can't handle certain jobs because other peoples' emotions are just too much for me to handle. I've been called childish and told I need to "grow up" because that's the "real world". I don't believe I can grow a thicker skin, whatever that means, and I feel like many people come by that thicker skin naturally so I'd really like to know how they think someone can just acquire it? I'm writing another novel in the comments, but I just love feeling so seen, so understood, and I want to stay here and revel in this feeling a bit longer. 😁❤️
When I was little I used to pray the power would go out during a thunderstorm because I wanted to fill the house with candles! I would pretend that I was like Anne of Green Gables.
I used to be scared of thunderstorms because I thought they were nagging and yelling at me 😅 and I was afraid of the dark as well cuz I felt all the energy
Oh yes... that’s me too. I felt calmer just listening to you and imagining the exact same thing in my home. I put my fake candle on at night in my room and I play my bbc radio drama of Jane Austen... or I journal by candlelight. My heaven.
My mother used to get very angry if I had my bedroom light on after dark. Even in winter. (She was absive, not giving the sob story :) ). I used to read at night by candlelight, and imagine I was Anne, or Emily of New Moon. Mostly Anne, cos I have red hair.
I have a marshmallow heart and its my greatest superpower. For my whole childhood I was told I was too sensitive, too emotional. But with that deep sensitivity and hyper awareness has made a good friend, a good problem solver, a good leader. It has saved my life. To anyone who reads this there is great power in empathy, awareness, sensitivity. You are not weak, weird, or broken. Cheers!
I only recently found out that I am hypersensitive and I am extremely glad that I have started to notice that more and more people are just like me and I am happier than ever! But when I found out that my beloved and certainly wise woman is just like me!!!! I'm insanely happy!! I've always been told that I take too much on myself, or that I'm taking everything too personally, and that I'm overreacting and that I'm making things up. I found the book just a month ago and by accident. She opened me up and understood myself, because before that I didn't understand what was wrong with me and why I was so weird.
I found out about my hypersensitivity about 4 years ago, and it was an eye opener. I always thought something is wrong with me, like I'm sick or something. Gladly I found out this exists and now I know, I'm perfectly right. To this day I hope more people know about that. It would make a lot lives easier!
I'm the same way! I had no idea there was a name for it. I've always found it difficult to make friends because I just don't feel like I fit into this world and people don't understand me. I think I need to read this book!
I'm on the Autism spectrum and this has been my life. It is definitely a two-edged sword. There are many times when my "6th sense" has literally saved not only my life but many. I once shifted an entire historic re-enactment picnic (with most of them thinking I was mad) just in time to avoid a massive tree branch falling from an ancient pine we were using for shade for instance. But day to day it is enormously taxing.
It is exhausting to be highly observant all the time. In childhood I'd get frustrated at everyone else for not seeing and knowing what I knew. What sheep they were! But, I'd have to be alone later to decompress. So irritating when they don't believe your observations.
@@2degucitas I can relate to this alot. I feel like more people who more intuitive to the world around them are needed for the hope of humanity. I hate the "it s a brutal harsh world out there" yet i question does it have to be.
Wow! My mother always told me I worry to much. Why was that? Becouse I keep looking at every little bit not passing it over. On top people emotions are important in my world. People over look them. I look at clouds trying to look at how they are made so I can paint them. Your stories are almost mine. The teacher one is exactly what mine is. I feel at home in this video. As well at the party not the same game but. The train an airport and snow. I was almost attack doing laundry at a public room I saw some one in the corner of my eye and went behind the locked door. The path wasnt lit.
My mother used to always attack me for being hypersensitive; always telling me to harden up, that I was weak or that I should try to fit in more. I'm glad I never listened to her.
I feel the same way, i have noticed this a lot lately when i have an issue, people will tell me the same thing. Toughen up, you can't be this sensitive. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one 💛
The stupid thing is that being tough has nothing to do with sensitivity. That's just the false dichotomy that suits the patriarchy, where strength and toughness is only perceived in the way some males exhibit it. You're great the way you are ❤️. I am very aware as a mother of a small male toddler not to use that kind of language. It hurts so many kids.
My mother is the same way. She says something deliberately hurtful and tells me to not be so sensitive. I just don’t talk to her anymore, it was the only way to keep myself from being hurt
You know I think this is why autism and adhd diagnosis’s have been rising cause more and more people realize their sensitive in a way that our world doesn’t appreciate and are trying to find what that is and often they get told it’s a problem (even though neither adhd or autism are problems) I think even the ideas of adhd and autism are trying to fit us quiet sensitive types into the world of Kings and heroes
I have an autism diagnosis and I was wondering if it's possible to be both a highly sensitive person and autistic? Anyway, I guess it's true that the idea of autism and adhd are only there because we live in a majority neurotypical world, but it's not by itself a bad thing, to have different words for different neurotypes. The main theories for the rise in diagnosis are doctors trying to unlearn their biases (for autistic girls for example) and the decrease of social stigma that leads to more people seeking diagnosis
@@luciel7751 From what I know about autism, being highly sensitive (sometimes only with some senses, sometimes with all) is in fact an autistic trait :) Sadly I don't know ressources in english cause I'm french :/ Basically autism has a very important "sensory" side : autistic persons can be hyper- or -hypo-sensitive, sometimes both (a friend of mine is hypersensitive with hearing, but hyposensitive with tasting for exemple) Hope this help, and if someone has ressources in english it would be great :D
@@chloevos7379 Hey je suis francais aussi! ^^ Et je savais tout ca, mais je crois que j'ai du mal a comprendre ce que c'est d'etre hsp, ca avait l'air d'etre aussi pour les emotions en plus des sens
@@luciel7751 Je peux me tromper mais pour moi c'est lié : le fait de percevoir certaines choses plus fort, ça créé des émotions et des réactions pas toujours comprises par les gens "normaux". La fatigue induite par l'hypersensibilité peut aussi accentuer ça, je pense :)
Thank you for this. I am 60 years old and have always been told that I am too sensitive, that I need to “grow a thicker skin”, that I take things too seriously. I always thought something was wrong with me. I grew the thicker skin and tried to quit caring about certain things and changed my ways of being. All that happened is that I fell deeper into depression and lost my ability to feel deeply, to cry and laugh. Thank you for sharing your inner self, that part we try to hide, our most “sensitive” selves, because we don’t want to be hurt, or different. With this single post you made me cry. Thank you. ❤️
"Highly sensitive"? Yes. I can cry at the drop of a hat, sad movies/happy movies? Yes, to those too. And yet, I can also hear that little click at the door; a feeling, etc. It used to freak me out, and now I welcome it! "Sensitivity" does not equate to weakness. Thank you!
When i was about 14 or so i read that book and felt it related to me so much. My 20 or so older sister told me to stop reading"self help" books as i can read too much into things and believe I have all sorts of things that attribute to me. That kind of messed me up tho as then i felt anything i read couldn't pertain to me since I am probably reading too much into it. Well, now at 37 years old, i believe I am an HSP even more so after re-reading it. Blessed are the sensitive ones. 💛
I loved this. I'm highly sensitive but didn't know it was a thing. People have often said they think I'm psychic but i know I'm not i just pay attention. It does wear me out though. I often get made to feel that I'm over reacting but I think i just grasp circumstances and their outcomes very quickly, i always doubt myself and berate myself for being over emotional in my reactions but often things do bear out which leaves me feeling vindicated. I'm learning to trust my instincts more.
I was thinking the same thing. I’m too hard on myself. I have made mention of something and been given the disapproving look. I then berate myself only to find out later I was correct and did not deserve being shushed.
This made me think of a Fiona Apple line: "My heart's made of parts of all that's around me, and that's why the devil just can't get around me". For me this is definitely the most difficult thing about being an HSP - being overwhelmed by the sad, unfair things in the world everyone seems to ignore just fine.
This is something that I still struggle with being overwhelmed by the sad, unfair and emotional things. The struggle comes from knowing when amd actually being able to pull back to protect myself and not become so overwhelmed that I shutdown
My very first experience was when I was maybe 2 or 3 and I was watching the episode of Winnie the Pooh when Rabbit takes in the baby blue bird and raises him as his own. One day, Rabbit finally witnessed the baby blue bird fly and knew it was time for him to leave. (Whenever I think about this to this day, I still moves me to tears. I’m now 25.) My mother said she walked into because she heard me sobbing and I kept telling her the baby bird flew away and Rabbit was sad. The next vivid experience I remember was when I was watching a fashion show and I couldn’t get over how beautiful the clothing was. I’ve always told my family and friends that I couldn’t describe the way clothes made me feel. The show moved me to tears. It made my bones hurt. I believe it was Alexander McQueen. I just recently discovered Dr. Aaron’s book and it all clicked. The feelings I had when I watched movies, listened to music, danced, sang, looked at animals, saw death, just to name a few. Thank you so much for sharing this journey because it makes me and I’m sure plenty of other people feel heard and seen. Wishing you the best, Cathy. - Marissa x P.s. I looked up the clip that was referring to of Rabbit and just thought I’d share. Prepare for some water works! ua-cam.com/video/xfs8TADeyi0/v-deo.html
Intuition is a type of listening; it is difficult to hear when you are surrounded by noise. My earliest birthday memories are of my ritual of sneaking away from the party and going for a solitary walk in the rain.
I really feel like this is a thing I would have done if I hadn't been so insecure and scared to do my own thing...overprotective parents raise you anxious...
@@wolveshowling26 I would have wished for a better situation for the young you, but now I hope you can create that quiet space for yourself. It's not a luxury but a necessity.
To celebrate Christmas I put on my hooded cloak on Christmas Eve and go for a walk in the dark. If it's snowing so much the better. It muffles all sounds and makes everything softer.
I always liked the metaphor of instead of comparing people to a machine, comparing them to a garden, how different gardens require different things at different times and different amounts. Some plants require more light or less water or more weeding and more repotting and none of these needs are consistent across the board. It may be recommended to water your plant x times but for some you need to check the soil first so you don't over water it, because what may help one plant, may hinder another. I require different things than others and at different intervals, and that's okay.
I experience the story you told about playing a dead fishie, I relate to it so very much. It is me at every single party or big event I have been. Everytime, it is great, I have a lot of fun, dancing and laughing with the people there but suddenly- everything changes. In my mind clicks something, everything is too loud, too fast, all of a sudden. And there is only one thought in my mind, "I need to get out." I usually just make my way outside, and when I am in the garden of a venue, when everything is quiet and I know that I am alone, I lay in the grass and I start to sing. I sing to myself until I feel like I am ready to be in a crowded world again. Or sometimes I dance. I am so happy that what you talk about is so familiar to me!
Yes! I like to touch stuff too, ahh I mean when I go for walks I like to appreciate all the flowers and plants and how vibrant they are. I feel so proud of them for contributing to the environment and leading to cleaner air. I like to brush my fingertips against the leaves of a tree almost as if greeting them, it almost feels like Im high fiving them. I may be going into too much detail, but Im glad to know someone else has similar experiences and emotions.
@@bunnyyouplebs5931 yesyes, feeling tree bark makes me excited, every little injury my finger scratches about, everytime the tree been hurt, or changed, when a branch is coming out of it, feeling the young bark, and how full of water it is, and right after feeling the dry smoothness of a dead one, which the rain has smoothed and ripped the bark from. It grounds me to carve wood, I found that out, when I made a birthday present for said girl. I found out, that young oak wood is as smooth as silk once you carve the bark away, and that it smells like fresh melon.
One of the best moments in my childhood (late 1960's) was going to the Sequoia national forest in California and hugging sequoia trees (My Dad had me do it - we laughed and hugged trees together. Such happy memories). So big and old and comforting. About 20 years ago, I returned to the forest after a massive snowfall (the snow levels meant all the protective fences were well covered so the roots were protected) and I went and hugged trees again (including the General Grant one - it's so lovely.). I could have stayed for hours with all that quiet, gentle beauty around me.
It is funny. Now that I've heard you talk about high sensitivity, I start to notice more and more things, which I thought were judt normal, and everyone had them, I not only did it feel right after the first story, you told, but when I had a meet-up with friends yesterday, whenever someone yelled, and I didn't know they would, I would make a face, just wishing that they would stop, and why they yelled.
In short bursts, I am boisterous, and wildly fearless, and seemingly extroverted. But it takes massive amounts of energy to project that and to be around people. When I bought my farm and told a friend that- I thought- would understand that I am retreating into a Beatrix Potter style life of farming and writing and art, she expressed disbelief and not a little contempt. “How will you ever find time for travel again?” She asked. I replied, “I was never good at traveling. I did it because I felt it necessary to overwhelm myself with information and experiences. I tried for many years to reconcile that maybe I was going to live a suburban life and that I needed to dig in and see all the things a woman with growing children, a small house and few pets can offer. But Now, I am going to digest that massive overwhelming pile of joy and stress. I have so many interior worlds I have to travel now and I need quiet and a steady seasonal ebbs and flows to visit them.” I am no longer of any interest to that friend. It annoys her that I spend my day weeding and water coloring and cursing at the cows.
"Waiting for that magic moment when you're the only one in the room." I got goose bumps when you spoke to this experience that I've also had, I deeply resonated with this. ♥️
A story as payment for you stories: When I was 13 or so, I spent a Saturday morning playing with the red elastic band that came with the morning newspaper. I don't know why I was able to amuse myself with a rubber band for so long. Eventually, I snapped the elastic. I felt so bad. I had just rendered the elastic band useless. Its life was over. I has effectively killed it. I wept for the band. I assured it that it still had a life. I put it in a coin purse and I carried it with me for years (it was soon joined by a beautifully shiny lost bolt), in fact 30+ years later I still have them both somewhere safe. I hear you about being highly sensitive. I am mildly agoraphobic because I have difficulty being out in public because I get very overwhelmed.
StrangeViolette Your story about the rubber band made me cry. I’ve felt that before and still do about random things. I also understand the agoraphobia. Being around people is often painful for me.
I was like that when I lost my first ball. I can still remember it. I must have been about 4 at the time. I found a photo with me and the ball - I still get a warm feeling.
Yes I know this critism "Oh your too sensitive!" Made to feel there is something wrong with you. Im 64 and only in say the last 8 years have I truly started to find myself. I too am highly creative like you. I am very aware of my surrounding. I too can have a conversation and be aware and hear everything going on around me. I am always prepared and know how to "fix things" or think ahead. I had come to the conclusion though that I became this way because I grew up with Narcisisstic parents. Never really knowing the meaning of feeling of true love. Having to be good and please your parents. I thought this made me more aware and highly sensitive. My 2nd husband says I am nothing like my family. I am kind, loving, caring and think good things towards people. I can see the deeper picture too and have empathy. So now I am not sure if my personality is the Highly Sensitive type or was more developed through narcassitic abuse.
At primary school (Scotland, late 60s, into early 70s) one of the "tricks" teachers used to calm the classroom down was to have us put out arms folded on our desks and put our heads on our arms and close our eyes. For a few minutes, silence reigned. It didn't last long enough for me, but was the nicest part of any day. At least having a few noisy folk in the class had a positive pay-off.
Here I thought I was the only one that lingered in historic rooms and just lost myself. Thank you for sharing! I feel as if I have found a community of like minded folks on your channel and I love it.
Before the lockdown, my family went to an old restaurant that was once the family home. We entered from the back and I just had to stop at the doorway of a storeroom. An elderly woman offered to show me her glass door cabinets filled with odd bits. Manual typewriters, candlestick phone, coal irons, teapots, metal plates, alarm clocks, paper fans, etc. After about 15 minutes a waitress came in to say my family wanted me to eat now. After dinner, we filled the storeroom and praised the elderly woman for holding onto her family odd bits.
@@heartsDmise our shared language was my enthusiasm and sincere joy at seeing a wall of carefully displayed vintage home items. My in-laws later translated how everything was saved when the family outgrew living in the back of the restaurant. Only modern items are at the new home. As long as they have the restaurant, her children and grandchildren will keep her display. ♥️
Dead fishes is genius! My favorite “I’ve had it” game with my toddler son was Chair. This is how you play. Place a chair in the middle of the floor or sit on the couch or other comfy place, if available. Have your toddler run in circles until they start staggering or fall down dizzy. When they get up, have them run in the opposite direction. If you count the laps, it’s educational! Sorry to be off topic above, but I really enjoyed the video. I’m raising a non-neurotypical child (he’s 17 now, which is both easier and not) and your kind words always help me find a quiet spot for myself. He is definitely highly sensitive and ridiculously smart & registers EVERYTHING! It’s spooky sometimes. We are finally getting a diagnosis for him (after years of struggle with doctors), which is both unimportant and absolutely key. We know who is and love him and support him regardless, but he has always felt the differences and felt that they make him less than other children. The result is an almost crippling anxiety, which we are finally addressing with medication. Thank you!
I'm highly sensitive too. And an extrovert. That can be intense.... Interesting, I've never thought of you as fragile - I see you as a strong person. Strong and sensitive! 💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️
Yep, it's an interesting mix and took me a long time to figure it out about myself while feeling like (and being told that) I was being unreasonable and frustrating to the people around me.
Cathy this is such a wonderful video. At 18:00 when you said “I usually keep this stuff quiet because I think people will think I’m out of my mind” your voice was so strong and sweet and I smiled so big!!!! I too often prefer to keep to my inner world, to be quiet and to be with my plants. If you’re out of your mind I am too because I love to give my plants kisses. They are companions
I have this habit of stopping and literally smelling the roses. Of just touching the petals very gently to fully appreciate all that they are before moving on with my day. I've always felt a bit odd out when doing things like this but perhaps this is a part of being sensitive. Taking a moment to feel the quiet and simply appreciate. Thank you for sharing, this makes me feel a little less alone
I’m pretty young,not out of middle school yet. I really look up to you, and it was so amazing to realize that I’m like you! I never knew this was a thing,and I always thought I was weird,as long as I can remember. I always thought it was strange that I was always more observant, and often more mature,than my classmates. I remember,one time I was waiting for a package, and I opened it.I guess the company shipped the wrong product,because it wasn’t what I ordered. I just got this feeling of dread, and I had the thought “what if the order gets messed up when we reorder it”, and I kind of just knew.When we got the package again,sure enough,it didn’t fit. I really love the fantastic beasts movies,because of that “shifted perspective”. I’ve always been good at problem solving.One time,at summer camp,someone lodged a wood chip into the water fountain.The counselors offered candy to whoever fixed it.So,while everyone else was playing,I and a younger boy set out to fix it. I don’t remember how,but we both figured out how to fix it, and we were both so proud and excited,because we figured it out. I never understood why I was different. I’ve never enjoyed playing with other kids at recess,or being in a big group. I’ve always had such a hard time finding people that understood me, and that I also understood. I always felt like a failure,because up until 6th grade, I really only had 1 or 2 good friends. I have a few more,and I’m so proud. I’m content with my friends, and I’m fine with being “antisocial” or however other people see me. I’ve always had different interests than people my age. I really love dolls,art,fashion, and a lot of stuff similar to that. I was never interested in sports,or trendy clothes and makeup. I guess what I’m trying to say with this massive rant is,thank you! You’ve helped me realize that I’m different, and that’s ok. I don’t need to try to be like other people in my school,or online.Its ok to make friends differently, and to play alone at recess.Its ok to have “silly” interests. What I do is for me. I don’t need to impress anyone. Thank you Cathy,you are an amazing role model!
I feel for you. You be you. If you don't, you will have emotional issues as an adult. Embrace yourself for what you like. Don't let anybody tell you you are doing it wrong. If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn't, don't do it.
From someone who spent many a recess reading away from everyone - I know being in the education system, thrown together with a bunch of people you don't relate to, can be challenging. I'm glad to hear you have found some friends and that you embrace your interests and perspective :) Like the others said: You do you! We are cheering on you!
I really relate to you. I’m a few years older than you, but I’ve experienced a lot similar things. Your comment has made me think about my life differently and has made me realize things about my life that I hadn’t before. I am really glad that you have found a few good friends - I myself am still working on that. It is so difficult to find people that I feel understand me. It can be very lonely when they don’t. I hope someday I will find friends who do, like you do. Take care, and thank you for commenting and helping me realize I am not alone!
And it's not even that hypersensitive people can't make good leaders. If you look through history you'll find some of the most successful leaders had to be very in tune with subtly and details. It's just in this modern world that we pigeonhole people into how profitable they are the fastest rather than their ability to contribute to long term satisfaction and stability. Also! There's science to back this up! I remember reading a multi year study on children. A lot went into it but the conclusion showed a correlation between loud infants (infants who were overstimulated and thus got upset easily) to introverted behavior later and quiet infants (infants who could just soak up stimuli and even seek out more) and extroverted behavior later in life. And I like this possibility because it shows how neurodiverse (I know when people say neurodiverse it's referring to the inclusion of autism, ADHD, and much more. And I do believe there's an evolutionary reason for being nonneurotypical and that they are not mistakes who need to be cured, I just lack the vocabulary, anyway) humanity evolved to be in our tribes of 100 or so people. I forget the exact part of the brain they were theorizing about during the study but nonetheless I love science and here's science.
when I became ill with epilepsy and suddenly I realized that I am highly sensitive all the scents seemed stronger I could start to cry when I saw the first snowflakes or I was sitting in a park and I could imagine what kind of clothes people had in the 19th century and how they walked in that park I went to a museum where I saw an exhibition about the Finnish war and started crying
As a fellow sensitive, who lurks in historic places waiting for the quietude, and who has also built a relationship with my roses, this video just brought tears of happiness and yesness to my eyes.
Me too. Hypersensitivity also works in the factor of having troubles with bright lights, loud sounds, touch is not too much sometimes like the clothes rubbing on your skin is like ants crawling on your skin. I always thought I was alone with this intuition and sensitivity towards motions and how it was too unbearable at times. Your video moved me a lot and I agree that if we see the bright side of it we realize just how much it has protected us throughout our lives. (My mother even warned my husband how 'very high maintenance' I was....He doesn't think so.) Finding your people is also important to feel like you can put yourself at ease in stressful situations. Thank you for sharing, Miss Cathy! ❤
Cathy you speak my mind. Imagine being highly sensitive, and highly intelligent/analytical at the same time. I knew how to read through the subtleties of speech, and micro-expressions on my mom's face since the age of 3, and started altering my behavior to get her affection (and failing, since deep down I knew she never loved me). She never really praised me in front of relatives or friends, except saying 'this kid does not cause trouble'. And yeah I had my first thought of suicide was at the age of 4, but my love of the world, the creativity and curiosity keeps me going. Thank you so much for this video, I love every word you speak. You are a truly wonderful human being.
@Yikun Chen - I am sorry about the mother you had to endure, but I am thrilled that you were able to press ahead with your life. Creativity and curiosity are truly driving forces. Carry on!
Thank you so much for this video, from a person with authism and being highly sensitive i recognise so much from what you say. Comments can get to me really fast and i take everything people say to me to heart. Even now people still tell me to grow a thicker skin. I get called crazy for hearing stuff and noticing before others do around me, lying for telling them how harsh the world can be to me. But i finally got a group of adopted family around me that understand and accept me for it. I am learning to accept my sensitivity and work with it instead of against it. Even tho my authism i have a high sense of empathy, i feel when something is up with people around me even when they are not there. I feel the history and weight of places and art to the point it actually will affect my heartbeat. Thank you so so much for making this video
I find that we highly sensitive people have a bit of a superpower. My sensory-sensitive kiddos are so kind, my 7 year old is forever rescuing worms and snails from the sidewalk, feeding stray cats, telling passing dogs how cute they are, smiling at babies... Teaching my kids about sad parts of history takes some preparation for hugs, etc... Sensitivity is a gift for real people, whether hollywood sees the value or not.
I really needed to hear this right now, I'm going through things that make feel crazy and like I can't trust my own thoughts. I try to warn people when I feel like something is off, they don't listen until afterwards when they tell me "oh, you were right!" It's so encouraging to hear the positive side of my sensitivity and to know I'm not crazy for noticing things before others. Please keep me in your thoughts, I'm struggling to go through a really difficult time that goes beyond the pandemic, although the pandemic has definitely made this hard time even more difficult.
About not trusting your own thoughts, feelings, your intuition - I totally know what you mean. And the positive things about being sensitive Cathy mentions, we can only really do those when we trust our intuition. I myself often won't, because instantly questioning the provability of intuition is so instilled for me. All good wishes to you in the current times!
I'm Autistic and part of that means my sensory processing is pretty whack, which makes me very easily overwhelmed. I'm not sure if I'm the kind of sensitive you're talking about right now (although I too experienced a lot of those "just know" moments like you had at the platform and with the burglar) but this is the first time I've felt that me being easily overwhelmed is not inherently a bad thing. Not sure what the plus sides are yet, but your video makes me certain there is at least one. Thank you 𓆏
This made me cry. I always hated myself for being so sensitive because it made me seem weak and a little wierd. I tried to push myself to be different, to be stronger and less sensitive but it never worked. Maybe it's time to stop fighting against myself.
Please stop fighting it.. It costs you so much energy to fight it. Try to accept it en find a way to take care of yourself. You will most probably find that you start to see the upside of being highly sensitive and make te best of it/use it to your advantage. I wish you both the best in your personal journeys!
I can still hear, somewhere deep in the back of my mind, my primary school teacher telling me that "tears will not get you out of this, why are you crying?" after scolding me for something minor and, I felt, unfair. This, of course, made me cry more. Since then I had heard so many iterations of "don't you start crying on me" or "why are you crying?" that I could probably fill a good thick book with examples. Back then, when as a child I assumed that people thought more or less like I did, I had a really hard time understanding why was that even a question and wondered if that implied other people could cry (or not cry) at will - that seemed like super power of all superpowers. And so I started fearing situations where I could potentially cry in public because of a slight shift in tone of the person talking to me of any other reason (I even burst into tears when given a genuine compliment) and, over many years, developed crippling social anxiety - which, being a clinical condition, is much harder to live with or overcome than accepting yourself and learning to live as an hsp, without the added accumulative baggage. I'm not sure where I was going with this, other than sharing experience, but I guess my point would be that it's very damaging to constantly punish children for being sensitive. Especially when they are so much more sensitive to the punishment itself as well. As a teen I often wished people thought (or, rather, felt) more like me (how boring and dangerous would that be!) and despite learning to love the diversity and differences and unpredictability in people, I still wish, if not through feelings, then through education, we could learn and teach each other a little more compassion.
Sending love to you and all who pass by here. Hoping you have a nice day. The world seems to be on fire lately, some places even literally so. I hope we will all rise from the ashes better people, more loving, compassionate and all those good things. Much love from Curaçao ❤️
I've always been told I need to grow a thicker skin. Always been the odd one out. What you describe here is SO MUCH like my own experiences. And to have it all come from you is such a blessing! I needed to hear this! Especially the part of 'having a place in this world'. The last year has been a big challenge for me and so often it felt like I must be wrong on this planet. Must have gotten the address wrong or something, when I was born. But then I see and meet people like you and I feel a bit of home.
Lately, I have felt as though life was passing by in weeks at a time. Everything is going so fast and I feel like I am getting less things done. It is so relieving to simply shut off for a while and listen to your comforting voice accompanied by the quiet music, not having to look at the clock.
A wonderful woman taught me this technique for closing off my chakras to protect myself in overwhelming situations: Imagine your chakras in your mind’s eye, then imagine blocking them with some sort of construct. (Do NOT shut off your energy! Simply block it to protect from outside energy.) I imagine a bank vault door. Another suggestion was a Mason jar lid. Whatever you want to visualize. This has helped me stay calm in crowded areas when usually I feel like an emotional sponge. And the protection is yours to undo at any time, but will dissolve naturally when no longer needed. Thank you for listening.
I knew that game as sleeping lions, and I LOVED it when it was wet playtime and the lunchtime controller got us to play that. And my reports said the same things. And I've done that same thing with crowds etc, and my friends get quite disturbed by me telling them what's about to happen, which i can only do because I notice what's happening, and I recognise the patterns in what's going on. I hope the neighbor thing never happens to me. Thank you for this, Cathy. I think im going to need to read that book, because honestly, this sounds very, very much like me too. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
I often come to this channel and watch and rewatch your videos when I've been feeling down and overwhelmed myself and need something soothing to fill my mind with. Here is a safe place. And honestly hearing all this in one of the few spaces I can come to just... be, is just so freeing. It made me feel less alone. Thank you Cathy.
Yet another well thought out, highly relatable video. Two stories of my own. When I was a toddler, I remember playing in my room and my mother ironing in the room across the hallway and listening to the radio ... classical music. There was this one piece of music that touched my heart and soul so deeply, I crawled under my little drawing desk, curled up and just let the tears flow. It took some years before I discovered which piece it was ... Adagio in G minor by Albinoni. And even today some 44 odd years later whenever I hear this Adagio I feel like that little toddler girl again. Second story (could tell a lot more, like most of us sensitives), last week I finished reading this book about James Holman, the Blind Traveler, called 'A Sense of the World' by Jason Roberts. As always, I have a 'book hangover' and can't pick up the next book just yet. I'm still very much living in this last book and in my head I'm talking/listening to James Holman himself even though that is not really possible ... but for now I'm enjoying his company for a little longer. So, yes, yet another very relatable video. Thank you! 💗💗💗
Cathy, I want to thank so much for your post. I am one of those people and have always felt so different and odd. You have made me feel so blessed to be the person God made me.
When i was a home nurse years ago (meaning i would drive out to patients, do some minor medical procedures or helping them bathe and all that), i had a patient new in my tour one day. A lady in her 50s with a brain tumor who just got back home from the hospital after a procedure. She would forget lots of things, including the basic things like staying hydrated. That was now my job. I had to visit her and make sure she has taken her medication and that she has drunk enough water so far and reminding her about this. A few days had passed, we had gotten to know each other a bit, everything went well. Until one day, i arrived at my usual time, checking the meds and the water bottles, everything was grand. Except it wasn't. I can't pinpoint exactly what it was, but something about her that day made me uneasy. She wasn't very different from all the other days but my uneasiness didn't go anywhere as i moved on with my tour. 2 patients later it was still there. So i called into our headquarters that i would make a second, unplanned (and unpaid) visit to her later, the next time i'm back in the area to check in with her if everything is ok. A handful of patints and 3 hours later i did. I came in and i found her VERY much different from our meeting before, being skittish and hectic, trying to scrape together some money that she was supposed to give the postman for a parcel that was coming. Suddenly the doorbell rang. Said postman was at the door. I've noticed some motor disoders with her, handling the money. Seeing all that, i was in full emergency mode. I took the money, told her to sit down immediately and to take a big big sip of water. i turn around to handle the parcel, with her following me on her way to the living room. she stops for a second in the doorway, body tension increasing and falling face first into the living room, having a seizure. In a split-secong her face turned Indigo (and i really mean Indigo!) I yell at the postman to wait outside for the ambulance and tell them where to go. i call the ambulance and make sure that she's not choking on her own tongue. The medics then took her off. After a few days she got back home. All good. But that was quite a scare for all of us. Only 5 years later i learned about highly sensitive persons and all of a sudden it made click. it all fit together, including that story above. I too, always felt different, like from a different planet. Now i know. Thanks for speaking about that. It's really really important. It's not known enough. Even i had no clue about it even though having a medical background and being no stranger to psychology/psychiatry. THANKS!!!
This is really interesting. I work with autistic children. What you're describing is similar to the experience of some on the autistic spectrum. Feelings of not fitting in, sensory overload, hypersensitivity to certain stimuli and lack of sensitivity to others, deep empathetic feelings others might find odd or incongruent. Neurotribes by Steve Sliberman is also a very interest read. Thanks for sharing.
Oh my goodness! Dead fishes! Those adults were desperate weren’t they?! I too had “very conscientious“ every single year on my elementary school report cards. Wow! Talk about moment of grace/divine inspiration/Angelic protection! When you described his balaclava I burst out laughing… “one hole on the forehead…” and I became very emotional when you said “you have a place in this world“ because all my life I have been told “you are too sensitive!“… Thank you so much, Cathy Hay! You are lovely and wonderful and I’m so glad I found you and your UA-cam channel. This is just what I needed today.💕🌟🦋
As I’m sitting here, once again, listening to books and searching for ways to “get over” my sensitivity so I can “get out into the world” and you share this. Thank you for the reminder that not all gifts are expressed the same. If we ever talk, I’ll be happy to share my experiences in Avebury, or the British Museum, or what it’s like working with a Highly Sensitive horse.
I love your videos, I completely agree with you. I am an empathic person, I always get deeply moved by music and art. My children used to laugh when I cried during Disney movies during the sad parts or happy parts! I’m very drawn to specific periods of history, love castle & stately homes, where I can sit and breathe in the ‘energy’ of my surroundings. I love nature & hugging trees. I name everything, Phil my oak sapling (Phil Oakey-Human League) Petunia me & my hubbies hippy campervan and an adopted seagull called Nigel! I still believe in Santa and fairies at the bottom of the garden. I’m regularly called bonkers but I don’t care anymore, I’d rather be me and have peace and magic in my life than live without. Thank you so much for sharing your trait, it’s beautiful ❤️
As a kid, my mom would always tell me I was too sensitive, then I got to college and everyone didn’t understand why I would rather stay at home reading than go to parties and clubs. It took a while to find my niche, but I am taking the MCAT on Tuesday and applying for medical school. Turns out, all that sensitivity that led me to cry over squirrels in the road and really moving art, helps you to empathize and care for patients. Being hyper aware of your surroundings allows me to listen to all the conversations around me and be aware of any issue with a patient before someone decides to tell me. I’m glad that you have come to find your niche, and you have some lovely roses to care for. My orchid just bloomed for the third time this year, and I’m so proud of it.
Thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. I am also highly sensitive.. at 14 I was diagnosed bipolar and began heavy medication. In truth, I think this medication saved my life at the time but around the age of 20, I felt that through therapy and diligent self-work I had amassed enough skills to handle it without medication and spent the next two years slowly working off. I'm 27 now and happy to say I have been able to live more stably and fulfilled than ever before. I run my own business as a silversmith and I've come to understand my emotional depth to be an advantage. I'll say also that beginning my own practice in witchcraft has been a huge factor in my ability to manage the downturns and amplify the benefits, I know I provide true service to the people in my life with my empathy and channeling of messages. I hope that your candid discussion can help some others see that difference is not necessarily deficient-- in so many areas!
I think I was always like this, but (childhood) trauma made it a lot stronger. I can't listen to and concentrate on something with a lot of noise around me. It shuts down my ability to focus. I have a hard time talking in a large group. I always took being told I was doing something wrong deeply internally. And I notice little details. It means I can make my projects just that much more detailed than many people can, if I wish, but I can also get down on myself because of little details not working out as I wish. And I see things coming that other people wonder why. I can make predictions based on little clues and past knowledge of what those clues brought in the past. I can work out what is happening and what has happened based on the smallest pieces of information. I used to seek out a quiet corner of the library to sit and read, I would rather sit on the floor in a dark corner than in a comfortable couch in the center of a library. I notice when things are different, and can eventually articulate why, if I don't immediately know. I definitely agree that this isn't supported by the general population and society. I struggle to figure out which parts of this I want to change because they cause me harm and were created by trauma and how much I want to keep regardless of whether it was created by trauma because they help me.
i’m so happy to have found you. i can relate so much to your stories. i always felt like i was an empath, and it’s probably because of being a HSP. don’t have a problem with crowed spaces tho, but i am super attentive to small changes, specially in regards to myself and my own behavior. always felt like a very fragile person as well. feels good to feel like i belong somewhere
I’ve called being highly sensitive another name for years. I’ve called it, “feeling more deeply than the average person”. To me, they mean the same thing, and I’ve known that I’m one of those people as are two of our five children. (They are, like me, artistic and creative). There are many beautiful things about having this trait. But one of the more difficult things about it is that it sometimes hurts too much to read or to watch stories where there is a lot of pain and suffering. I had to stop looking at photos of the Holocaust - and to stop watching documentaries about abused children, slavery in today’s world, etc. I’ve donated to these causes, but I’m not able to keep these images in my mind. It just goes more deeply than it does for about 80% of the population. There are other burdens I can carry, and strengths I have to give, but I’ve learned that I have to protect my more sensitive/deeper feeling self.
17:00 and ff is very important for sensitive creatives -- listen to this wise lady! Your life is found away from crowd and motion and hyper energy and loudness. Be subtle, and quiet, and nurture your creativity. You’ve SO MUCH to give to the world. It’s SO IMPORTANT right now. Thank you !
Wow. You explained my life. So I took the test and scored 22. No surprise. Recently found your channel. I’m not an historical dressmaker but I do sew garments. I’m going to look into this work you recommend, thank you.
Having been me my whole life, I find it so weird when I realize that other people are not highly sensitive as well. I have a very hard time hearing in a crowded place because I can't shut out the excess noise.
Oh, maybe that's what it is with me... I hear grasshoppers and tiny sounds fine, but talk to me when there's music,tv or background noise, then I seem to miss half the conversation.
I remember going to Versailles and being so thrilled looking out the windows. They were imperfect, with lots of lumps and bumps, but it struck me that the landscape outside looked like an Impressionistic painting. They were beautiful. Everyone was focusing on the exquisite tapestries and wallpapers, which were beautiful too, but the quiet impression of the windows stuck with me. I also spent probably 20 minutes inside Saint Chapelle Cathedral just awestruck by the stained glass windows, incapable of taking even a single photograph. They are so intricate, with so many different colors, so vibrant. Even though we went to much more famous sites, Saint Chapelle was my favorite. Because of its age, its beauty, but also because there were maybe 15 people there, all hushed quiet in this enormous work of art.
Cathy, I'm so glad you're talking about this (I wish this had been one of your live videos!). For me the "aha" book was "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight" by Barbara Heller, which describes sensory processing disorder, a neurodiverse condition often associated with autism but which is its own separate way of being. It's essentially the same as Aron's HSP but rooted in unique brain differences instead of personality (perhaps that's only a difference of semantics). You're absolutely right about there being upsides and downsides to being sensitive -- in our tribal and nomadic times our sensitivities helped keep the tribe safe from predators and other dangers! Today our hypervigilance can make us quite ill and anxious if we don't give ourselves a lot of space to be ourselves, and if we don't do things that are soothing to our senses. I've written a memoir about my own sensitivity and the wider health implications of a sensitive life in today's world -- I'm shopping it to agents now. Keep your fingers crossed it gets out into the world and can help more folks like us.
Oh! And I meant to add that developing reciprocal relationships with plants is a very natural human thing to do -- our indigenous ancestors (the early inhabitants of Britain I mean) had much more complex relationships with plants and animals and the land than we modern folk do. Not at all strange!
I love this video soooo much. You are a treasure. I’m a very sensitive empath etc., also highly creative. You’ve me helped so much with this video. People have always told me to stop being so shy, to push myself forward and it’s not my nature. I’d rather sit in a woods and feel the trees hum and listen to the birds communicating. You are correct about listening to the feeling. I’ve survived riots, saved lives and stopped houses burning down just by listening to it - my intuition. Keep up being yourself Cathy, you are spot on.
this is just what I needed right now, thank you! I was worried something was wrong with me because I do NOT miss going to university and sitting in a hall among 200 fellow students... I always felt so exhausted after just 4 hours I couldn't do any more that day
I have just stood at the sink doing the washing up while listening to this in tears. It felt like you were talking to my inner self telling her that she is ok to be seen. For the the first time in years I actually allowed her space. When I was a child I was told that, that part of me was stupid and I hid it. All my life I have needed to be a warrior and fight and it’s like being forced into a round hold. It or I never really fitted. I’m a natural introvert and I was told I needed to get out more and overcome it. Whatever the it is. I love being creative. I enjoy music and art. Museums and historical things and places are so interesting to me. I love poetry and looking for the beauty in the everyday day life. I have a faith which allows my spirit to grow and I love to meditate and marvel at the natural world around me. I love philosophy and to debate life. Lockdown helped me to find my way back to that place/part of me and I have taken very tiny steps to be that person again. Listening to this felt like she had permission to be free and not to apologise for her being my truth. I took the test and guess what? My score was that yes I am a highly sensitive person. Thank you Cathy for sharing this because hearing your words have been very freeing. Have a blessed day 🥰🤗😊🌹
I’ve had several times where being sensitive has helped me, and times where it’s made me need a big break from the world around me- it’s where my love of quiet, local coffee shops in international travel comes from; it’s also how I earned a side-long scar for a few years instead of a few broken ribs when a green horse finally threw me. Very grateful to my grandmother for teaching me I’d need an extra try and extra time with certain things, grateful for this reminder ❤️
Cathy Hay exposing her weirdness in the most adorable way imaginable for 20:22 straight 😏♥️
I found Cathy's channel by way of yours, so thank-you! And I found yours via your intelligent and witty critique of costuming in historical movies and television. I have my own production company, so your video was, of course, irresistible...as well as educational and entertaining and oh so impressive! As a Native American seeking to over come racism in the movie industry and thus society, I have searched, often fruitlessly, for talented allies. I've reached out to you through Light House Agents, in hopes that I could muster sufficient charm to persuade you to explore the possibility of helping me work to eradicate racism through our talents.
Ahh😊 I only know of this lovely woman cause I'm one of your subbs Bernadette👗
Isn't she adorable?!
I think that's why I love history my head is always in another time to escape today's time.
Love you, Bernadette. Us weirdies have to stick together. Looking forward to your next video!
I find this the complete opposite of weak or fragile: to feel so fully, so deeply and still carry on in a world like ours deserves all the praise. 💙✨
Oh my dear, when I look at you I see a woman who knows who she is and is incredibly honest with herself. That's not fragility, it's a quiet strength that shines through.
Yes!!! This!!!
While the loud strength society worthships tends to come in small bursts, the quite strength us HSP have will last multiple lifetimes
I'm 63 and all my life I was labeled anti social. Since I retired I've become a sewer, a designer, a book lover, an historian. I was never anti social, I just didnt know how to cope with such a noisy, hectic world. Now, surrounded by friends they all see me as I've always been. Quiet, loving, artistic. Funny how time can teach us who we truly are. I so enjoy your channel, your art and your insight into the strengths, we share.
My father has always told me "Not everyone can be in the trenches, someone has to cook for the soldiers to keep them going".
@Marta Aldama Cervantes Thank you! Is a verse from one of my favorite prayers in Latin "To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears".
It's admitting that sometimes we are hopeless, and we may find ourselves in a valley of our own tears, but if we reach out we can be saved, not to focus on oneself and drown, but to focus on God and ask for help.
I was raised Catholic, and I've found strength in that verse when I needed it in the past.
@@LacrimarvmValle That is very beautiful and very timely. Thank you very much.
Oh, I love that!
Im a tall and big viking looking man, i have to look strong and bombastic for the world, but i just cant... im here, listening to a hypersensitive sister and tears slowly flow on my bearded cheek. and the best part is that im not even ashamed thanks to your sharing..
Thanks you Cathy.
I felt a small piece of home in this video. Being known and understood is a rare beauty in this world. Thank you for your wisdom and grace.
I couldn't agree with you more my sensitivity has helped me more times than I can count. It helped me mentally prepare before I had a car accident, and I was able to react calmly.
I love your videos! This was a window into my mind and I have forwarded this to ppl that I feel could learn more about me and possibly understand me better. Than you so much for sharing this window of you with the world. ❤️🏳️🌈❤️
You know, I’ve always been belittled for being “too” sensitive I’ve tried over the years to try and harden myself, or at the very least get better at hiding my emotions. Hearing this in such a kind and gentle way was so comforting thank you Cathy.
When I was little I believed in flower fairies. I would spend whole afternoons laying outside staring deeply into flowers. I just knew that if I was quiet enough, still enough, that the fairies would feel safe with me and maybe they would come out and we could play together.
I lost that part of myself for a long time. I thought that growing up meant moving on from silly childhood fantasies like my world of flower fairies so I tried my darnedest to shut it away.
That’s why I literally teared up when you talked about building a relationship with your roses as you nurture them. That’s exactly how I feel now that I’m learning to reconnect to myself, my imaginative, sensitive self.
I realized that only good can come from standing in a garden, believing with every fiber of my being that I’m surrounded by this peaceful, gentle fairy world. It’s what makes me a good teacher, a creative person, and best of all, it’s what makes ME ^_^
Flower fairies🌺 are real!🧝🏻♂️🧝🏾♀️
Your comment is so familiar. I had a best friend who I had tea parties and built fairy furniture and moss houses with. This video is so wonderful. I feel so self assured. Thank you Cathy!
I've definitely made it a point to try and hold onto that magic throughout my life :)
We all lose that part of us when we "grow up" and most don't ever find it again. I'm glad that you have found that again!
I too have found it again but I don't think I ever really lost it. I might have kept it very quiet as I didn't want others to think I was mad!! But now I don't care! And people think I'm mad anyway lol.
This is why I think we can learn from the children. The way they see things in the world is not full of complications or looking for a reason or an explanation of what they are seeing. They see things with awe and take things as they are. And we as adults lose that and we should try and get it back. Not everything needs an explanation or reason to be.
The things I believe in some might think I should be locked in an asylum!! But I believe in them and I'm happy to.
I believe that everything has a spirit and we can communicate with each other. But we have stopped listening to them.
It still gives me a thrill when I hear my name being called by the wood or water spirits!!
I'll stop here now in case some might send the people with white coats to my door lol.
(And my two companions in life at the moment are two wolfdogs!! Apparently both are my spirit guardians! One in the spirit world and the other in both the spirit and in this world!) xx
This makes me think of a line from one of my favorite movies, The Little Prince. “Growing up isn’t the problem. Forgetting is.”
As a teenager I was diagnosed with autism. At the time I hated it, I had a lot of misconceptions about autism. A friend told me she was surprised, because I seemed highly sensitive. I thought the two were opposites too then. Since then I have learned a lot about autism. The way you describe hsp makes me realise they're actually similar and it makes a lot of sense now.
Many people are realizing this now. Especially as the way autism or Asperger's shows up in women is different and only more recently being studied. I have gathered for years now that there are many deeply valuable sensitivities associated with autism
Oh hey, hello, another highly sensitive autistic 😊 I've read an article that give the hypothesis that, with the knowledge we're gaining currently about autism in AFAB people, the HSP label could also be some subset/manifestation of autism because it overlaps greatly with the part of the population that would also relate to atypical form of autism (mostly girls, women and other AFAB people that have a high masking mechanism). Just like many people with ADHD highly relate to autism when we get out of the antiquated and stereotyped view of the autism spectrum. I find the current discourse very interesting and I'm happy to see someone bringing it up here 😊
Another highly sensitive autistic person here, too.
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that most "highly sensitive people" are autistic too. The concept that we lack empathy is woefully simplistic and downright wrong - but considering that a survey was done recently that demonstrated that autistic people were less likely to go against their morals for money, even in private, and that was STILL listed as a negative symptom by the researchers? It's hard to take much of what most autism research says about us seriously. Many autistic people are extremely sensitive and empathic. And I genuinely feel like "highly sensitive person" is just a more politically correct way of saying "autistic woman". (because let's be real, most HSPs are AFAB). Especially as the "creator" of the concept of HSPs has the misconception - and continues to perpetuate it - that all autistic people lack any empathy and that makes me so angry because it's so blatantly false. Beyond that, what she describes is virtually identical to how many - if not most - of my AFAB autistic friends feel and experience the world.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Honestly that would make sense. Though I would ask you not to use women and afab people synonymously. But yeah, gender does play a role. And it's interesting, I've seen people group trans people with their agab before when it comes to neurodivergence, and it has always felt off to me. Of course I can't speak for all neurodivergent trans and non-binary people, but as an autistic trans man, yes my experience differs from autistic cis men, but it differs from autistic women too (cis and trans).
This made me cry, I related to literally everything you’ve said and you’ve made me feel so much better about myself-that I’m not weak or childish, and that sensitive and mourning a dead rose bush and avoiding crowded spaces is okay. Thank you so so much.
But that rose Bush needed someone to mourn its death and the loss of its beauty in the world
I have come to the realization that I'm a HSP slowly (but surely) over the years. My father took me to a Christmas concert when I was a teenager and the music was so lovely I cried through the entire thing. When I was in Rome, at St. Peter's Basillica and turned a corner and saw the Pieta it literally took my breath away. I was overwhelmed by the emotion of the piece and had to go off to the side to collect myself. I have always been able to pick up on the emotions of the people around me, even when they are trying to hide them. I was emotionally devastated when I watched Schindler's List and was literally depressed for a month afterward. I have always been overwhelmed by sights, sounds and any sort of business or chaotic atmosphere. I thought I was just a weirdo but was happy to find that there is an explanation for all these things.
I once had someone say "You're _actually_ interested in this, aren't you?" to me, when we visited a museum with a group of people during a trip. It wasn't said in an accusing way, more bewildered and as if he had just spotted a very rare and uncommon animal. For most people it was more of a have-to-do-this stop for the trip to count as education which makes it possible to receive some government funding for it. Someone actually taking their time and taking an interest was very odd to them :D
I had something similar happen to me!! but people were impatient why I was taking so long looking at the things 😅
Hai fellow nerd! If you enjoy Museums, I'm assuming you like history and stuffs, and maybe fossils... so I gotta recommend "Prehistoric Roadtrip" with Emily Graslie. It's 3 episodes that were on PBS, and should be able to be found online pretty easily. It was super entertaining and fun and Emily is the most enthusiastically, unapologetically nerdy person I've ever seen. She's amazing.
I know what you mean. I've been there.
Lena Scholz I hit the thumbs down by accident. Sorry
My sister has gotten so frustrated with me when we visit a zoo, aquarium, or museum, because I spend a lot more time looking at exhibits or asking questions of the docents.
Along with many of the commenters, I am not neuro-typical and my husband and 2 of my children are on the autistic spectrum and this is all very familiar! We have learned to use it as a positive and love it! People always mention how sweet and sensitive and caring my kids are. Thank you 😘
This is apparently not uncommon among those of us who have experienced childhood abuse. Reading extremely subtle body language/facial expressions becomes such an important survival skill, that we develop it to an extreme degree. It has helped me deeply connect to people in my life on a whole other level, and as terrible as it was, learning this skill, I'm grateful for it now, and the empathy it's brought me
So true. Add to that the fact that many people on the autism, adhd, and other spectrums - with pre-existing neuro-difference - often are subject to abuse, and to emotional neglect for lack of understanding their needs. Understanding and accepting ourselves and own needs is so essential in healing the wounds from abuse, no matter what kind of brain-wiring a survivor was equipped with at birth - "typical" or otherwise.
Connie Morin true. I could sense when my father was building towards an alcohol fueled anger explosion. It was like a building aura that I felt and my anxiety would grow with it. Then when it happened, I would kick into this weird counselor/hostage negotiator mode and proceed to manage and deflate the episode over several hours. I started doing this around age 10. I still find myself tuning into the emotional atmosphere of a group and trying to manage it to restore peace. It’s a good but exhausting behavior.
Connie ... you are ABSOLUTELY correct.
While I cannot forget the horrible mental, emotional & physical cruelties my mother inflicted on me, I've surprised all get out out of myself for becoming grateful for the "fine tuning" of my read on people, places & situations. As Cathy explained ... it has helped me escape many very bad situations since.
Truth, truth, truth. 😔
Wow... makes sense. My mom often tells me about how as a very young child I would sit down and go through possible scenarios out loud of a conversation I planned to have with people and come up with the replies before I went and had the exact conversation I planned. And idk if she notices but in her examples she usually mimicks me planning conversations with my dad, the abusive parent :P I definitely paid a lot of attention to how he reacts to things.
As the youngest of five children, quiet space was hard to come by, but as I think about it more I remember my favorite places to hide. I had a big closet that I liked to go sit in and shut the door. I had a nook next to the cupboard, where if I opened the cupboard door all the way, the door made a dark little box (which was next to the heating vent so it was always warm). Behind couches, inside a large hamper, rolled up inside of blankets like a burrito... maybe I couldn't be alone but I realize now that even in a house full of people (I always shared a room with at least two siblings) I found separate spaces of my own. Being "sensitive" has always been used as a negative thing, and it has held me back from doing some things that "normal" people find success at. I can't handle certain jobs because other peoples' emotions are just too much for me to handle. I've been called childish and told I need to "grow up" because that's the "real world". I don't believe I can grow a thicker skin, whatever that means, and I feel like many people come by that thicker skin naturally so I'd really like to know how they think someone can just acquire it? I'm writing another novel in the comments, but I just love feeling so seen, so understood, and I want to stay here and revel in this feeling a bit longer. 😁❤️
When I was little I used to pray the power would go out during a thunderstorm because I wanted to fill the house with candles! I would pretend that I was like Anne of Green Gables.
I used to be scared of thunderstorms because I thought they were nagging and yelling at me 😅 and I was afraid of the dark as well cuz I felt all the energy
Oh yes... that’s me too. I felt calmer just listening to you and imagining the exact same thing in my home. I put my fake candle on at night in my room and I play my bbc radio drama of Jane Austen... or I journal by candlelight. My heaven.
My mother used to get very angry if I had my bedroom light on after dark. Even in winter. (She was absive, not giving the sob story :) ).
I used to read at night by candlelight, and imagine I was Anne, or Emily of New Moon. Mostly Anne, cos I have red hair.
Yes! I always hoped the power would go out, I wanted to walk about in a long nightgown with a candlestick.
I have a marshmallow heart and its my greatest superpower. For my whole childhood I was told I was too sensitive, too emotional. But with that deep sensitivity and hyper awareness has made a good friend, a good problem solver, a good leader. It has saved my life. To anyone who reads this there is great power in empathy, awareness, sensitivity. You are not weak, weird, or broken. Cheers!
😊👍👍👍
I only recently found out that I am hypersensitive and I am extremely glad that I have started to notice that more and more people are just like me and I am happier than ever! But when I found out that my beloved and certainly wise woman is just like me!!!! I'm insanely happy!!
I've always been told that I take too much on myself, or that I'm taking everything too personally, and that I'm overreacting and that I'm making things up. I found the book just a month ago and by accident. She opened me up and understood myself, because before that I didn't understand what was wrong with me and why I was so weird.
I found out about my hypersensitivity about 4 years ago, and it was an eye opener. I always thought something is wrong with me, like I'm sick or something. Gladly I found out this exists and now I know, I'm perfectly right. To this day I hope more people know about that. It would make a lot lives easier!
I'm the same way! I had no idea there was a name for it. I've always found it difficult to make friends because I just don't feel like I fit into this world and people don't understand me. I think I need to read this book!
I'm on the Autism spectrum and this has been my life. It is definitely a two-edged sword. There are many times when my "6th sense" has literally saved not only my life but many. I once shifted an entire historic re-enactment picnic (with most of them thinking I was mad) just in time to avoid a massive tree branch falling from an ancient pine we were using for shade for instance. But day to day it is enormously taxing.
It is exhausting to be highly observant all the time. In childhood I'd get frustrated at everyone else for not seeing and knowing what I knew. What sheep they were! But, I'd have to be alone later to decompress. So irritating when they don't believe your observations.
@@2degucitas I can relate to this alot. I feel like more people who more intuitive to the world around them are needed for the hope of humanity. I hate the "it s a brutal harsh world out there" yet i question does it have to be.
Empaths unite! What a gift we have been given; once we learn how to use it instead of letting it rule us! Love this video
Wow! My mother always told me I worry to much. Why was that? Becouse I keep looking at every little bit not passing it over. On top people emotions are important in my world. People over look them. I look at clouds trying to look at how they are made so I can paint them. Your stories are almost mine. The teacher one is exactly what mine is. I feel at home in this video. As well at the party not the same game but. The train an airport and snow. I was almost attack doing laundry at a public room I saw some one in the corner of my eye and went behind the locked door. The path wasnt lit.
My mother used to always attack me for being hypersensitive; always telling me to harden up, that I was weak or that I should try to fit in more.
I'm glad I never listened to her.
I'm glad you didn't either.
She sounds like my own mother. I'm glad you didn't listen to her x
I feel the same way, i have noticed this a lot lately when i have an issue, people will tell me the same thing. Toughen up, you can't be this sensitive. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one 💛
The stupid thing is that being tough has nothing to do with sensitivity. That's just the false dichotomy that suits the patriarchy, where strength and toughness is only perceived in the way some males exhibit it. You're great the way you are ❤️. I am very aware as a mother of a small male toddler not to use that kind of language. It hurts so many kids.
My mother is the same way. She says something deliberately hurtful and tells me to not be so sensitive. I just don’t talk to her anymore, it was the only way to keep myself from being hurt
You know I think this is why autism and adhd diagnosis’s have been rising cause more and more people realize their sensitive in a way that our world doesn’t appreciate and are trying to find what that is and often they get told it’s a problem (even though neither adhd or autism are problems) I think even the ideas of adhd and autism are trying to fit us quiet sensitive types into the world of Kings and heroes
I have an autism diagnosis and I was wondering if it's possible to be both a highly sensitive person and autistic? Anyway, I guess it's true that the idea of autism and adhd are only there because we live in a majority neurotypical world, but it's not by itself a bad thing, to have different words for different neurotypes. The main theories for the rise in diagnosis are doctors trying to unlearn their biases (for autistic girls for example) and the decrease of social stigma that leads to more people seeking diagnosis
@@luciel7751 From what I know about autism, being highly sensitive (sometimes only with some senses, sometimes with all) is in fact an autistic trait :) Sadly I don't know ressources in english cause I'm french :/
Basically autism has a very important "sensory" side : autistic persons can be hyper- or -hypo-sensitive, sometimes both (a friend of mine is hypersensitive with hearing, but hyposensitive with tasting for exemple)
Hope this help, and if someone has ressources in english it would be great :D
@@chloevos7379 Hey je suis francais aussi! ^^ Et je savais tout ca, mais je crois que j'ai du mal a comprendre ce que c'est d'etre hsp, ca avait l'air d'etre aussi pour les emotions en plus des sens
@@luciel7751 Je peux me tromper mais pour moi c'est lié : le fait de percevoir certaines choses plus fort, ça créé des émotions et des réactions pas toujours comprises par les gens "normaux". La fatigue induite par l'hypersensibilité peut aussi accentuer ça, je pense :)
@@chloevos7379 C'est vrai!
Thank you for this. I am 60 years old and have always been told that I am too sensitive, that I need to “grow a thicker skin”, that I take things too seriously. I always thought something was wrong with me. I grew the thicker skin and tried to quit caring about certain things and changed my ways of being. All that happened is that I fell deeper into depression and lost my ability to feel deeply, to cry and laugh. Thank you for sharing your inner self, that part we try to hide, our most “sensitive” selves, because we don’t want to be hurt, or different. With this single post you made me cry. Thank you. ❤️
Unrelated: your voice is sounding SO MUCH BETTER and I'm just so happy you're taking your voice back
"Highly sensitive"? Yes. I can cry at the drop of a hat, sad movies/happy movies? Yes, to those too. And yet, I can also hear that little click at the door; a feeling, etc. It used to freak me out, and now I welcome it! "Sensitivity" does not equate to weakness. Thank you!
When i was about 14 or so i read that book and felt it related to me so much. My 20 or so older sister told me to stop reading"self help" books as i can read too much into things and believe I have all sorts of things that attribute to me. That kind of messed me up tho as then i felt anything i read couldn't pertain to me since I am probably reading too much into it. Well, now at 37 years old, i believe I am an HSP even more so after re-reading it. Blessed are the sensitive ones. 💛
I loved this. I'm highly sensitive but didn't know it was a thing. People have often said they think I'm psychic but i know I'm not i just pay attention. It does wear me out though. I often get made to feel that I'm over reacting but I think i just grasp circumstances and their outcomes very quickly, i always doubt myself and berate myself for being over emotional in my reactions but often things do bear out which leaves me feeling vindicated. I'm learning to trust my instincts more.
I was thinking the same thing. I’m too hard on myself. I have made mention of something and been given the disapproving look. I then berate myself only to find out later I was correct and did not deserve being shushed.
@Elly Morris I don’t think I’ve ever read something that so accurately depicts my similar experiences.
Your voice is sounding better, good job.
This made me think of a Fiona Apple line: "My heart's made of parts of all that's around me, and that's why the devil just can't get around me". For me this is definitely the most difficult thing about being an HSP - being overwhelmed by the sad, unfair things in the world everyone seems to ignore just fine.
I love her and that song
This is something that I still struggle with being overwhelmed by the sad, unfair and emotional things. The struggle comes from knowing when amd actually being able to pull back to protect myself and not become so overwhelmed that I shutdown
I feel this deeply! I am going to pray for all of us.
My very first experience was when I was maybe 2 or 3 and I was watching the episode of Winnie the Pooh when Rabbit takes in the baby blue bird and raises him as his own. One day, Rabbit finally witnessed the baby blue bird fly and knew it was time for him to leave. (Whenever I think about this to this day, I still moves me to tears. I’m now 25.) My mother said she walked into because she heard me sobbing and I kept telling her the baby bird flew away and Rabbit was sad.
The next vivid experience I remember was when I was watching a fashion show and I couldn’t get over how beautiful the clothing was. I’ve always told my family and friends that I couldn’t describe the way clothes made me feel. The show moved me to tears. It made my bones hurt. I believe it was Alexander McQueen.
I just recently discovered Dr. Aaron’s book and it all clicked. The feelings I had when I watched movies, listened to music, danced, sang, looked at animals, saw death, just to name a few.
Thank you so much for sharing this journey because it makes me and I’m sure plenty of other people feel heard and seen. Wishing you the best, Cathy. - Marissa x P.s. I looked up the clip that was referring to of Rabbit and just thought I’d share. Prepare for some water works! ua-cam.com/video/xfs8TADeyi0/v-deo.html
Intuition is a type of listening; it is difficult to hear when you are surrounded by noise.
My earliest birthday memories are of my ritual of sneaking away from the party and going for a solitary walk in the rain.
Totally spot on. I felt the need to get away even as a child as well.
I really feel like this is a thing I would have done if I hadn't been so insecure and scared to do my own thing...overprotective parents raise you anxious...
@@wolveshowling26 I would have wished for a better situation for the young you, but now I hope you can create that quiet space for yourself. It's not a luxury but a necessity.
To celebrate Christmas I put on my hooded cloak on Christmas Eve and go for a walk in the dark. If it's snowing so much the better. It muffles all sounds and makes everything softer.
@@Scentofrain. it totally is a necessity! And I definitely learned to find quiet spaces to wind down:)
I always liked the metaphor of instead of comparing people to a machine, comparing them to a garden, how different gardens require different things at different times and different amounts. Some plants require more light or less water or more weeding and more repotting and none of these needs are consistent across the board. It may be recommended to water your plant x times but for some you need to check the soil first so you don't over water it, because what may help one plant, may hinder another. I require different things than others and at different intervals, and that's okay.
I experience the story you told about playing a dead fishie, I relate to it so very much. It is me at every single party or big event I have been. Everytime, it is great, I have a lot of fun, dancing and laughing with the people there but suddenly- everything changes. In my mind clicks something, everything is too loud, too fast, all of a sudden. And there is only one thought in my mind, "I need to get out."
I usually just make my way outside, and when I am in the garden of a venue, when everything is quiet and I know that I am alone, I lay in the grass and I start to sing. I sing to myself until I feel like I am ready to be in a crowded world again. Or sometimes I dance.
I am so happy that what you talk about is so familiar to me!
Yes! I like to touch stuff too, ahh I mean when I go for walks I like to appreciate all the flowers and plants and how vibrant they are. I feel so proud of them for contributing to the environment and leading to cleaner air. I like to brush my fingertips against the leaves of a tree almost as if greeting them, it almost feels like Im high fiving them. I may be going into too much detail, but Im glad to know someone else has similar experiences and emotions.
@@bunnyyouplebs5931 yesyes, feeling tree bark makes me excited, every little injury my finger scratches about, everytime the tree been hurt, or changed, when a branch is coming out of it, feeling the young bark, and how full of water it is, and right after feeling the dry smoothness of a dead one, which the rain has smoothed and ripped the bark from.
It grounds me to carve wood, I found that out, when I made a birthday present for said girl. I found out, that young oak wood is as smooth as silk once you carve the bark away, and that it smells like fresh melon.
One of the best moments in my childhood (late 1960's) was going to the Sequoia national forest in California and hugging sequoia trees (My Dad had me do it - we laughed and hugged trees together. Such happy memories). So big and old and comforting. About 20 years ago, I returned to the forest after a massive snowfall (the snow levels meant all the protective fences were well covered so the roots were protected) and I went and hugged trees again (including the General Grant one - it's so lovely.). I could have stayed for hours with all that quiet, gentle beauty around me.
It is funny. Now that I've heard you talk about high sensitivity, I start to notice more and more things, which I thought were judt normal, and everyone had them, I not only did it feel right after the first story, you told, but when I had a meet-up with friends yesterday, whenever someone yelled, and I didn't know they would, I would make a face, just wishing that they would stop, and why they yelled.
Omg this sounds just so familiar 😭 I really do understand you. It's so great to feel you're not alone!
In short bursts, I am boisterous, and wildly fearless, and seemingly extroverted. But it takes massive amounts of energy to project that and to be around people. When I bought my farm and told a friend that- I thought- would understand that I am retreating into a Beatrix Potter style life of farming and writing and art, she expressed disbelief and not a little contempt. “How will you ever find time for travel again?” She asked. I replied, “I was never good at traveling. I did it because I felt it necessary to overwhelm myself with information and experiences. I tried for many years to reconcile that maybe I was going to live a suburban life and that I needed to dig in and see all the things a woman with growing children, a small house and few pets can offer. But Now, I am going to digest that massive overwhelming pile of joy and stress. I have so many interior worlds I have to travel now and I need quiet and a steady seasonal ebbs and flows to visit them.” I am no longer of any interest to that friend. It annoys her that I spend my day weeding and water coloring and cursing at the cows.
"Waiting for that magic moment when you're the only one in the room." I got goose bumps when you spoke to this experience that I've also had, I deeply resonated with this. ♥️
Thank you🌹
A story as payment for you stories: When I was 13 or so, I spent a Saturday morning playing with the red elastic band that came with the morning newspaper. I don't know why I was able to amuse myself with a rubber band for so long. Eventually, I snapped the elastic. I felt so bad. I had just rendered the elastic band useless. Its life was over. I has effectively killed it. I wept for the band. I assured it that it still had a life. I put it in a coin purse and I carried it with me for years (it was soon joined by a beautifully shiny lost bolt), in fact 30+ years later I still have them both somewhere safe.
I hear you about being highly sensitive. I am mildly agoraphobic because I have difficulty being out in public because I get very overwhelmed.
StrangeViolette Your story about the rubber band made me cry. I’ve felt that before and still do about random things. I also understand the agoraphobia. Being around people is often painful for me.
Amen
Yes... I hate being out amongst people- especially in the city. I long for a home/life by the sea or in the country.
I was like that when I lost my first ball. I can still remember it. I must have been about 4 at the time. I found a photo with me and the ball - I still get a warm feeling.
Omg.
I can totally relate to this!
Yes I know this critism "Oh your too sensitive!" Made to feel there is something wrong with you. Im 64 and only in say the last 8 years have I truly started to find myself. I too am highly creative like you. I am very aware of my surrounding. I too can have a conversation and be aware and hear everything going on around me. I am always prepared and know how to "fix things" or think ahead. I had come to the conclusion though that I became this way because I grew up with Narcisisstic parents. Never really knowing the meaning of feeling of true love. Having to be good and please your parents. I thought this made me more aware and highly sensitive. My 2nd husband says I am nothing like my family. I am kind, loving, caring and think good things towards people. I can see the deeper picture too and have empathy. So now I am not sure if my personality is the Highly Sensitive type or was more developed through narcassitic abuse.
1. Your hair looks amazing 👌🏼
2. Your voice sounds so much stronger recently! 💪🏻
3. Stop knowing my inner thoughts 😭
At primary school (Scotland, late 60s, into early 70s) one of the "tricks" teachers used to calm the classroom down was to have us put out arms folded on our desks and put our heads on our arms and close our eyes. For a few minutes, silence reigned. It didn't last long enough for me, but was the nicest part of any day. At least having a few noisy folk in the class had a positive pay-off.
Here I thought I was the only one that lingered in historic rooms and just lost myself. Thank you for sharing! I feel as if I have found a community of like minded folks on your channel and I love it.
Before the lockdown, my family went to an old restaurant that was once the family home. We entered from the back and I just had to stop at the doorway of a storeroom. An elderly woman offered to show me her glass door cabinets filled with odd bits. Manual typewriters, candlestick phone, coal irons, teapots, metal plates, alarm clocks, paper fans, etc.
After about 15 minutes a waitress came in to say my family wanted me to eat now. After dinner, we filled the storeroom and praised the elderly woman for holding onto her family odd bits.
dc in rb Wow how beautiful!! I would’ve talked to her for hours marveling in her collection! Lucky you! 💕
@@heartsDmise our shared language was my enthusiasm and sincere joy at seeing a wall of carefully displayed vintage home items. My in-laws later translated how everything was saved when the family outgrew living in the back of the restaurant. Only modern items are at the new home. As long as they have the restaurant, her children and grandchildren will keep her display. ♥️
I normally find that if I'm in a historical room on my own, when other people come in, it's like they're interrupting a convocation
Dead fishes is genius! My favorite “I’ve had it” game with my toddler son was Chair. This is how you play. Place a chair in the middle of the floor or sit on the couch or other comfy place, if available. Have your toddler run in circles until they start staggering or fall down dizzy. When they get up, have them run in the opposite direction. If you count the laps, it’s educational! Sorry to be off topic above, but I really enjoyed the video. I’m raising a non-neurotypical child (he’s 17 now, which is both easier and not) and your kind words always help me find a quiet spot for myself. He is definitely highly sensitive and ridiculously smart & registers EVERYTHING! It’s spooky sometimes. We are finally getting a diagnosis for him (after years of struggle with doctors), which is both unimportant and absolutely key. We know who is and love him and support him regardless, but he has always felt the differences and felt that they make him less than other children. The result is an almost crippling anxiety, which we are finally addressing with medication. Thank you!
I'm highly sensitive too. And an extrovert. That can be intense....
Interesting, I've never thought of you as fragile - I see you as a strong person. Strong and sensitive!
💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️💖🏵️
Yep, it's an interesting mix and took me a long time to figure it out about myself while feeling like (and being told that) I was being unreasonable and frustrating to the people around me.
I reckon it is a high level of survival instinct.
Awareness will help you survive.
Cathy this is such a wonderful video. At 18:00 when you said “I usually keep this stuff quiet because I think people will think I’m out of my mind” your voice was so strong and sweet and I smiled so big!!!! I too often prefer to keep to my inner world, to be quiet and to be with my plants. If you’re out of your mind I am too because I love to give my plants kisses. They are companions
I have this habit of stopping and literally smelling the roses. Of just touching the petals very gently to fully appreciate all that they are before moving on with my day. I've always felt a bit odd out when doing things like this but perhaps this is a part of being sensitive. Taking a moment to feel the quiet and simply appreciate. Thank you for sharing, this makes me feel a little less alone
I’m pretty young,not out of middle school yet. I really look up to you, and it was so amazing to realize that I’m like you! I never knew this was a thing,and I always thought I was weird,as long as I can remember. I always thought it was strange that I was always more observant, and often more mature,than my classmates. I remember,one time I was waiting for a package, and I opened it.I guess the company shipped the wrong product,because it wasn’t what I ordered. I just got this feeling of dread, and I had the thought “what if the order gets messed up when we reorder it”, and I kind of just knew.When we got the package again,sure enough,it didn’t fit. I really love the fantastic beasts movies,because of that “shifted perspective”. I’ve always been good at problem solving.One time,at summer camp,someone lodged a wood chip into the water fountain.The counselors offered candy to whoever fixed it.So,while everyone else was playing,I and a younger boy set out to fix it. I don’t remember how,but we both figured out how to fix it, and we were both so proud and excited,because we figured it out. I never understood why I was different. I’ve never enjoyed playing with other kids at recess,or being in a big group. I’ve always had such a hard time finding people that understood me, and that I also understood. I always felt like a failure,because up until 6th grade, I really only had 1 or 2 good friends. I have a few more,and I’m so proud. I’m content with my friends, and I’m fine with being “antisocial” or however other people see me. I’ve always had different interests than people my age. I really love dolls,art,fashion, and a lot of stuff similar to that. I was never interested in sports,or trendy clothes and makeup. I guess what I’m trying to say with this massive rant is,thank you! You’ve helped me realize that I’m different, and that’s ok. I don’t need to try to be like other people in my school,or online.Its ok to make friends differently, and to play alone at recess.Its ok to have “silly” interests. What I do is for me. I don’t need to impress anyone. Thank you Cathy,you are an amazing role model!
Ace Ran you sound like an amazing person too! Take care!
I feel for you. You be you. If you don't, you will have emotional issues as an adult. Embrace yourself for what you like. Don't let anybody tell you you are doing it wrong. If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn't, don't do it.
From someone who spent many a recess reading away from everyone - I know being in the education system, thrown together with a bunch of people you don't relate to, can be challenging. I'm glad to hear you have found some friends and that you embrace your interests and perspective :) Like the others said: You do you! We are cheering on you!
I really relate to you. I’m a few years older than you, but I’ve experienced a lot similar things. Your comment has made me think about my life differently and has made me realize things about my life that I hadn’t before. I am really glad that you have found a few good friends - I myself am still working on that. It is so difficult to find people that I feel understand me. It can be very lonely when they don’t. I hope someday I will find friends who do, like you do. Take care, and thank you for commenting and helping me realize I am not alone!
My life made so much more sense after finding out about the highly sensitive person. I stopped being critical about about myself and see it as a gift.
And it's not even that hypersensitive people can't make good leaders. If you look through history you'll find some of the most successful leaders had to be very in tune with subtly and details.
It's just in this modern world that we pigeonhole people into how profitable they are the fastest rather than their ability to contribute to long term satisfaction and stability.
Also! There's science to back this up! I remember reading a multi year study on children. A lot went into it but the conclusion showed a correlation between loud infants (infants who were overstimulated and thus got upset easily) to introverted behavior later and quiet infants (infants who could just soak up stimuli and even seek out more) and extroverted behavior later in life. And I like this possibility because it shows how neurodiverse (I know when people say neurodiverse it's referring to the inclusion of autism, ADHD, and much more. And I do believe there's an evolutionary reason for being nonneurotypical and that they are not mistakes who need to be cured, I just lack the vocabulary, anyway) humanity evolved to be in our tribes of 100 or so people. I forget the exact part of the brain they were theorizing about during the study but nonetheless I love science and here's science.
I think sensitive, introverted people make some of the best leaders! Thank you for sharing!
This is exactly me too. I also thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I just wish the people around me understood me better.
when I became ill with epilepsy and suddenly I realized that I am highly sensitive
all the scents seemed stronger I could start to cry when I saw the first snowflakes
or I was sitting in a park and I could imagine what kind of clothes people had in the 19th century and how they walked in that park
I went to a museum where I saw an exhibition about the Finnish war and started crying
As a fellow sensitive, who lurks in historic places waiting for the quietude, and who has also built a relationship with my roses, this video just brought tears of happiness and yesness to my eyes.
Being a HSP in this big loud world has been one giant adventure. Thank you for the wonderful video Cathy!
Me too. Hypersensitivity also works in the factor of having troubles with bright lights, loud sounds, touch is not too much sometimes like the clothes rubbing on your skin is like ants crawling on your skin. I always thought I was alone with this intuition and sensitivity towards motions and how it was too unbearable at times. Your video moved me a lot and I agree that if we see the bright side of it we realize just how much it has protected us throughout our lives. (My mother even warned my husband how 'very high maintenance' I was....He doesn't think so.) Finding your people is also important to feel like you can put yourself at ease in stressful situations. Thank you for sharing, Miss Cathy! ❤
Cathy you speak my mind. Imagine being highly sensitive, and highly intelligent/analytical at the same time. I knew how to read through the subtleties of speech, and micro-expressions on my mom's face since the age of 3, and started altering my behavior to get her affection (and failing, since deep down I knew she never loved me). She never really praised me in front of relatives or friends, except saying 'this kid does not cause trouble'. And yeah I had my first thought of suicide was at the age of 4, but my love of the world, the creativity and curiosity keeps me going. Thank you so much for this video, I love every word you speak. You are a truly wonderful human being.
@Yikun Chen - I am sorry about the mother you had to endure, but I am thrilled that you were able to press ahead with your life. Creativity and curiosity are truly driving forces. Carry on!
Thank you for sharing this. I hope you can find healing for yourself.
"I already feel like I'm creating a relationship with my roses"
This is not weird to me at all!
Thank you so much for this video, from a person with authism and being highly sensitive i recognise so much from what you say. Comments can get to me really fast and i take everything people say to me to heart. Even now people still tell me to grow a thicker skin. I get called crazy for hearing stuff and noticing before others do around me, lying for telling them how harsh the world can be to me. But i finally got a group of adopted family around me that understand and accept me for it. I am learning to accept my sensitivity and work with it instead of against it. Even tho my authism i have a high sense of empathy, i feel when something is up with people around me even when they are not there. I feel the history and weight of places and art to the point it actually will affect my heartbeat. Thank you so so much for making this video
I find that we highly sensitive people have a bit of a superpower. My sensory-sensitive kiddos are so kind, my 7 year old is forever rescuing worms and snails from the sidewalk, feeding stray cats, telling passing dogs how cute they are, smiling at babies... Teaching my kids about sad parts of history takes some preparation for hugs, etc...
Sensitivity is a gift for real people, whether hollywood sees the value or not.
I really needed to hear this right now, I'm going through things that make feel crazy and like I can't trust my own thoughts. I try to warn people when I feel like something is off, they don't listen until afterwards when they tell me "oh, you were right!" It's so encouraging to hear the positive side of my sensitivity and to know I'm not crazy for noticing things before others. Please keep me in your thoughts, I'm struggling to go through a really difficult time that goes beyond the pandemic, although the pandemic has definitely made this hard time even more difficult.
Oh Angela, so sorry you are struggling.
Sending love and hugs xxx
About not trusting your own thoughts, feelings, your intuition - I totally know what you mean. And the positive things about being sensitive Cathy mentions, we can only really do those when we trust our intuition. I myself often won't, because instantly questioning the provability of intuition is so instilled for me.
All good wishes to you in the current times!
Thank you all for the love and support ❤️
I trust things will work out for you in due time.
Thank you Cathy, very inspirational, you have given me information to ponder for a long time.
Love the hairstyle cathy.. ❤ you look like Bernadette's big sister here 😍
I'm Autistic and part of that means my sensory processing is pretty whack, which makes me very easily overwhelmed. I'm not sure if I'm the kind of sensitive you're talking about right now (although I too experienced a lot of those "just know" moments like you had at the platform and with the burglar) but this is the first time I've felt that me being easily overwhelmed is not inherently a bad thing.
Not sure what the plus sides are yet, but your video makes me certain there is at least one. Thank you 𓆏
This made me cry. I always hated myself for being so sensitive because it made me seem weak and a little wierd. I tried to push myself to be different, to be stronger and less sensitive but it never worked. Maybe it's time to stop fighting against myself.
Me too! I’ve always been sensitive and I’ve tried so hard to fight against it. But maybe it’s not a quality that should be fought against after all?
Please stop fighting it.. It costs you so much energy to fight it. Try to accept it en find a way to take care of yourself. You will most probably find that you start to see the upside of being highly sensitive and make te best of it/use it to your advantage. I wish you both the best in your personal journeys!
You’re not crazy about the connection with the roses. I’m extremely connected to my garden. It’s my oasis in this crazy world.
I'm I'm 16 years old and suddenly my whole life makes sense. Thank you so much! //Love from sweden 💞
I can still hear, somewhere deep in the back of my mind, my primary school teacher telling me that "tears will not get you out of this, why are you crying?" after scolding me for something minor and, I felt, unfair. This, of course, made me cry more. Since then I had heard so many iterations of "don't you start crying on me" or "why are you crying?" that I could probably fill a good thick book with examples. Back then, when as a child I assumed that people thought more or less like I did, I had a really hard time understanding why was that even a question and wondered if that implied other people could cry (or not cry) at will - that seemed like super power of all superpowers. And so I started fearing situations where I could potentially cry in public because of a slight shift in tone of the person talking to me of any other reason (I even burst into tears when given a genuine compliment) and, over many years, developed crippling social anxiety - which, being a clinical condition, is much harder to live with or overcome than accepting yourself and learning to live as an hsp, without the added accumulative baggage. I'm not sure where I was going with this, other than sharing experience, but I guess my point would be that it's very damaging to constantly punish children for being sensitive. Especially when they are so much more sensitive to the punishment itself as well. As a teen I often wished people thought (or, rather, felt) more like me (how boring and dangerous would that be!) and despite learning to love the diversity and differences and unpredictability in people, I still wish, if not through feelings, then through education, we could learn and teach each other a little more compassion.
Sending love to you and all who pass by here.
Hoping you have a nice day.
The world seems to be on fire lately, some places even literally so.
I hope we will all rise from the ashes better people, more loving, compassionate and all those good things.
Much love from Curaçao ❤️
Yes, yes and yes. ❤️
Thank you. Blessings to you from Wisconsin, USA.
"Take care of yourself and the rest will follow."
I really needed to hear this today, thank you!😭❤
I've always been told I need to grow a thicker skin. Always been the odd one out. What you describe here is SO MUCH like my own experiences. And to have it all come from you is such a blessing! I needed to hear this! Especially the part of 'having a place in this world'. The last year has been a big challenge for me and so often it felt like I must be wrong on this planet. Must have gotten the address wrong or something, when I was born.
But then I see and meet people like you and I feel a bit of home.
Always nice to get a mention :)
Lately, I have felt as though life was passing by in weeks at a time. Everything is going so fast and I feel like I am getting less things done. It is so relieving to simply shut off for a while and listen to your comforting voice accompanied by the quiet music, not having to look at the clock.
A wonderful woman taught me this technique for closing off my chakras to protect myself in overwhelming situations:
Imagine your chakras in your mind’s eye, then imagine blocking them with some sort of construct. (Do NOT shut off your energy! Simply block it to protect from outside energy.)
I imagine a bank vault door. Another suggestion was a Mason jar lid. Whatever you want to visualize. This has helped me stay calm in crowded areas when usually I feel like an emotional sponge. And the protection is yours to undo at any time, but will dissolve naturally when no longer needed.
Thank you for listening.
I knew that game as sleeping lions, and I LOVED it when it was wet playtime and the lunchtime controller got us to play that. And my reports said the same things. And I've done that same thing with crowds etc, and my friends get quite disturbed by me telling them what's about to happen, which i can only do because I notice what's happening, and I recognise the patterns in what's going on. I hope the neighbor thing never happens to me.
Thank you for this, Cathy. I think im going to need to read that book, because honestly, this sounds very, very much like me too. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
We called it "quiet mouse." I had my (now adult) children practically trained to curl up and be silent when I said "1, 2, 3 quiet mouse."
This is food for my soul, it just settled that voice that says “there’s something wrong with you”. Thank you so much Miss Cathy
I often come to this channel and watch and rewatch your videos when I've been feeling down and overwhelmed myself and need something soothing to fill my mind with. Here is a safe place.
And honestly hearing all this in one of the few spaces I can come to just... be, is just so freeing. It made me feel less alone. Thank you Cathy.
Yet another well thought out, highly relatable video.
Two stories of my own. When I was a toddler, I remember playing in my room and my mother ironing in the room across the hallway and listening to the radio ... classical music. There was this one piece of music that touched my heart and soul so deeply, I crawled under my little drawing desk, curled up and just let the tears flow. It took some years before I discovered which piece it was ... Adagio in G minor by Albinoni. And even today some 44 odd years later whenever I hear this Adagio I feel like that little toddler girl again.
Second story (could tell a lot more, like most of us sensitives), last week I finished reading this book about James Holman, the Blind Traveler, called 'A Sense of the World' by Jason Roberts. As always, I have a 'book hangover' and can't pick up the next book just yet. I'm still very much living in this last book and in my head I'm talking/listening to James Holman himself even though that is not really possible ... but for now I'm enjoying his company for a little longer.
So, yes, yet another very relatable video. Thank you! 💗💗💗
Cathy, I want to thank so much for your post. I am one of those people and have always felt so different and odd. You have made me feel so blessed to be the person God made me.
When i was a home nurse years ago (meaning i would drive out to patients, do some minor medical procedures or helping them bathe and all that), i had a patient new in my tour one day. A lady in her 50s with a brain tumor who just got back home from the hospital after a procedure. She would forget lots of things, including the basic things like staying hydrated. That was now my job. I had to visit her and make sure she has taken her medication and that she has drunk enough water so far and reminding her about this. A few days had passed, we had gotten to know each other a bit, everything went well.
Until one day, i arrived at my usual time, checking the meds and the water bottles, everything was grand. Except it wasn't. I can't pinpoint exactly what it was, but something about her that day made me uneasy. She wasn't very different from all the other days but my uneasiness didn't go anywhere as i moved on with my tour. 2 patients later it was still there. So i called into our headquarters that i would make a second, unplanned (and unpaid) visit to her later, the next time i'm back in the area to check in with her if everything is ok.
A handful of patints and 3 hours later i did. I came in and i found her VERY much different from our meeting before, being skittish and hectic, trying to scrape together some money that she was supposed to give the postman for a parcel that was coming. Suddenly the doorbell rang. Said postman was at the door. I've noticed some motor disoders with her, handling the money. Seeing all that, i was in full emergency mode. I took the money, told her to sit down immediately and to take a big big sip of water. i turn around to handle the parcel, with her following me on her way to the living room. she stops for a second in the doorway, body tension increasing and falling face first into the living room, having a seizure. In a split-secong her face turned Indigo (and i really mean Indigo!) I yell at the postman to wait outside for the ambulance and tell them where to go. i call the ambulance and make sure that she's not choking on her own tongue. The medics then took her off. After a few days she got back home. All good. But that was quite a scare for all of us.
Only 5 years later i learned about highly sensitive persons and all of a sudden it made click. it all fit together, including that story above. I too, always felt different, like from a different planet. Now i know. Thanks for speaking about that. It's really really important. It's not known enough. Even i had no clue about it even though having a medical background and being no stranger to psychology/psychiatry. THANKS!!!
This is really interesting. I work with autistic children. What you're describing is similar to the experience of some on the autistic spectrum. Feelings of not fitting in, sensory overload, hypersensitivity to certain stimuli and lack of sensitivity to others, deep empathetic feelings others might find odd or incongruent. Neurotribes by Steve Sliberman is also a very interest read. Thanks for sharing.
Oh my goodness! Dead fishes! Those adults were desperate weren’t they?!
I too had “very conscientious“ every single year on my elementary school report cards.
Wow! Talk about moment of grace/divine inspiration/Angelic protection! When you described his balaclava I burst out laughing… “one hole on the forehead…” and I became very emotional when you said “you have a place in this world“ because all my life I have been told “you are too sensitive!“… Thank you so much, Cathy Hay! You are lovely and wonderful and I’m so glad I found you and your UA-cam channel. This is just what I needed today.💕🌟🦋
As I’m sitting here, once again, listening to books and searching for ways to “get over” my sensitivity so I can “get out into the world” and you share this. Thank you for the reminder that not all gifts are expressed the same.
If we ever talk, I’ll be happy to share my experiences in Avebury, or the British Museum, or what it’s like working with a Highly Sensitive horse.
I love your videos, I completely agree with you. I am an empathic person, I always get deeply moved by music and art. My children used to laugh when I cried during Disney movies during the sad parts or happy parts! I’m very drawn to specific periods of history, love castle & stately homes, where I can sit and breathe in the ‘energy’ of my surroundings. I love nature & hugging trees. I name everything, Phil my oak sapling (Phil Oakey-Human League) Petunia me & my hubbies hippy campervan and an adopted seagull called Nigel! I still believe in Santa and fairies at the bottom of the garden. I’m regularly called bonkers but I don’t care anymore, I’d rather be me and have peace and magic in my life than live without. Thank you so much for sharing your trait, it’s beautiful ❤️
I went from being "highly sensative" to "oh... I'm an autistic female!" Who function exceptionally differently than autistic men.
As a kid, my mom would always tell me I was too sensitive, then I got to college and everyone didn’t understand why I would rather stay at home reading than go to parties and clubs. It took a while to find my niche, but I am taking the MCAT on Tuesday and applying for medical school. Turns out, all that sensitivity that led me to cry over squirrels in the road and really moving art, helps you to empathize and care for patients. Being hyper aware of your surroundings allows me to listen to all the conversations around me and be aware of any issue with a patient before someone decides to tell me. I’m glad that you have come to find your niche, and you have some lovely roses to care for. My orchid just bloomed for the third time this year, and I’m so proud of it.
Thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. I am also highly sensitive.. at 14 I was diagnosed bipolar and began heavy medication. In truth, I think this medication saved my life at the time but around the age of 20, I felt that through therapy and diligent self-work I had amassed enough skills to handle it without medication and spent the next two years slowly working off. I'm 27 now and happy to say I have been able to live more stably and fulfilled than ever before. I run my own business as a silversmith and I've come to understand my emotional depth to be an advantage. I'll say also that beginning my own practice in witchcraft has been a huge factor in my ability to manage the downturns and amplify the benefits, I know I provide true service to the people in my life with my empathy and channeling of messages. I hope that your candid discussion can help some others see that difference is not necessarily deficient-- in so many areas!
I think I was always like this, but (childhood) trauma made it a lot stronger. I can't listen to and concentrate on something with a lot of noise around me. It shuts down my ability to focus. I have a hard time talking in a large group. I always took being told I was doing something wrong deeply internally. And I notice little details. It means I can make my projects just that much more detailed than many people can, if I wish, but I can also get down on myself because of little details not working out as I wish. And I see things coming that other people wonder why. I can make predictions based on little clues and past knowledge of what those clues brought in the past. I can work out what is happening and what has happened based on the smallest pieces of information. I used to seek out a quiet corner of the library to sit and read, I would rather sit on the floor in a dark corner than in a comfortable couch in the center of a library. I notice when things are different, and can eventually articulate why, if I don't immediately know. I definitely agree that this isn't supported by the general population and society. I struggle to figure out which parts of this I want to change because they cause me harm and were created by trauma and how much I want to keep regardless of whether it was created by trauma because they help me.
i’m so happy to have found you. i can relate so much to your stories. i always felt like i was an empath, and it’s probably because of being a HSP. don’t have a problem with crowed spaces tho, but i am super attentive to small changes, specially in regards to myself and my own behavior. always felt like a very fragile person as well. feels good to feel like i belong somewhere
I’ve called being highly sensitive another name for years. I’ve called it, “feeling more deeply than the average person”. To me, they mean the same thing, and I’ve known that I’m one of those people as are two of our five children. (They are, like me, artistic and creative). There are many beautiful things about having this trait. But one of the more difficult things about it is that it sometimes hurts too much to read or to watch stories where there is a lot of pain and suffering. I had to stop looking at photos of the Holocaust - and to stop watching documentaries about abused children, slavery in today’s world, etc. I’ve donated to these causes, but I’m not able to keep these images in my mind. It just goes more deeply than it does for about 80% of the population. There are other burdens I can carry, and strengths I have to give, but I’ve learned that I have to protect my more sensitive/deeper feeling self.
17:00 and ff is very important for sensitive creatives -- listen to this wise lady! Your life is found away from crowd and motion and hyper energy and loudness. Be subtle, and quiet, and nurture your creativity. You’ve SO MUCH to give to the world. It’s SO IMPORTANT right now.
Thank you !
Wow. You explained my life. So I took the test and scored 22. No surprise. Recently found your channel. I’m not an historical dressmaker but I do sew garments. I’m going to look into this work you recommend, thank you.
Having been me my whole life, I find it so weird when I realize that other people are not highly sensitive as well. I have a very hard time hearing in a crowded place because I can't shut out the excess noise.
I always have to tell my husband to turn down the music when he is driving. It feels like it attacking me.
Oh, maybe that's what it is with me... I hear grasshoppers and tiny sounds fine, but talk to me when there's music,tv or background noise, then I seem to miss half the conversation.
I remember going to Versailles and being so thrilled looking out the windows. They were imperfect, with lots of lumps and bumps, but it struck me that the landscape outside looked like an Impressionistic painting. They were beautiful. Everyone was focusing on the exquisite tapestries and wallpapers, which were beautiful too, but the quiet impression of the windows stuck with me. I also spent probably 20 minutes inside Saint Chapelle Cathedral just awestruck by the stained glass windows, incapable of taking even a single photograph. They are so intricate, with so many different colors, so vibrant.
Even though we went to much more famous sites, Saint Chapelle was my favorite. Because of its age, its beauty, but also because there were maybe 15 people there, all hushed quiet in this enormous work of art.
Cathy, I'm so glad you're talking about this (I wish this had been one of your live videos!). For me the "aha" book was "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight" by Barbara Heller, which describes sensory processing disorder, a neurodiverse condition often associated with autism but which is its own separate way of being. It's essentially the same as Aron's HSP but rooted in unique brain differences instead of personality (perhaps that's only a difference of semantics). You're absolutely right about there being upsides and downsides to being sensitive -- in our tribal and nomadic times our sensitivities helped keep the tribe safe from predators and other dangers! Today our hypervigilance can make us quite ill and anxious if we don't give ourselves a lot of space to be ourselves, and if we don't do things that are soothing to our senses.
I've written a memoir about my own sensitivity and the wider health implications of a sensitive life in today's world -- I'm shopping it to agents now. Keep your fingers crossed it gets out into the world and can help more folks like us.
Oh best of luck with the book! Let me know if you need help with that, I know a few people!
@@CathyHay Thanks! Will email you. :)
Oh! And I meant to add that developing reciprocal relationships with plants is a very natural human thing to do -- our indigenous ancestors (the early inhabitants of Britain I mean) had much more complex relationships with plants and animals and the land than we modern folk do. Not at all strange!
I love this video soooo much. You are a treasure. I’m a very sensitive empath etc., also highly creative. You’ve me helped so much with this video. People have always told me to stop being so shy, to push myself forward and it’s not my nature. I’d rather sit in a woods and feel the trees hum and listen to the birds communicating. You are correct about listening to the feeling. I’ve survived riots, saved lives and stopped houses burning down just by listening to it - my intuition. Keep up being yourself Cathy, you are spot on.
this is just what I needed right now, thank you! I was worried something was wrong with me because I do NOT miss going to university and sitting in a hall among 200 fellow students... I always felt so exhausted after just 4 hours I couldn't do any more that day
I have just stood at the sink doing the washing up while listening to this in tears. It felt like you were talking to my inner self telling her that she is ok to be seen. For the the first time in years I actually allowed her space. When I was a child I was told that, that part of me was stupid and I hid it. All my life I have needed to be a warrior and fight and it’s like being forced into a round hold. It or I never really fitted. I’m a natural introvert and I was told I needed to get out more and overcome it. Whatever the it is. I love being creative. I enjoy music and art. Museums and historical things and places are so interesting to me. I love poetry and looking for the beauty in the everyday day life. I have a faith which allows my spirit to grow and I love to meditate and marvel at the natural world around me. I love philosophy and to debate life. Lockdown helped me to find my way back to that place/part of me and I have taken very tiny steps to be that person again. Listening to this felt like she had permission to be free and not to apologise for her being my truth. I took the test and guess what? My score was that yes I am a highly sensitive person. Thank you Cathy for sharing this because hearing your words have been very freeing. Have a blessed day 🥰🤗😊🌹
I’ve had several times where being sensitive has helped me, and times where it’s made me need a big break from the world around me- it’s where my love of quiet, local coffee shops in international travel comes from; it’s also how I earned a side-long scar for a few years instead of a few broken ribs when a green horse finally threw me. Very grateful to my grandmother for teaching me I’d need an extra try and extra time with certain things, grateful for this reminder ❤️
I often don’t photograph the beautiful places I’ve been. I’d rather feel it.