I am trying to be a good stoic, when I wake up, I expect problems to arise. I am old, and chronic autonomic nervous system dysfunction puts me in bed and emotional dysregulation causes terrible suffering.. It is a result of both concussion injury and an incredibly mean family who shunned me twenty years ago. After decades of social isolation, and self examination, I have learned to be very happy alone, keeping house and working on the land. in a small community of five homes. The family that rejected me decades ago came into my life again recently, gave me granddaughters, then pulled the rug out from under me. Put me in bed, layed out. I have not responded to them for decades. But I don't want to be in bed, not knowing if I will be able to get up again. And this is so unnecessary, it makes me angry. And it is not just them, the neighbors turned out to be sneaky mean like the whole wide world. Now, I can lay these people out flat by writing as a result of living each day striving for no regrets. No narrative. Put it in a blog.. It seems that once they face the suffering they have caused, the suffering they could have relieved, their reaction will define them. Sort of like a spiritual crossing the line. Am I engaging them? Or is it because I have disengaged so well, that I can finally write these things so clearly, no longer being upset by recalling the past. And I enjoy writing, it is the most fun I have indoors. And may be the only thing left to do while in bed. Maybe I should disengage squared. So as I am listening to you for the first time, I am coming to this crossroad. I want to clear up my reputation, now that I have grandchildren. I want them to know me, I want to tell them who I really am. So the last few sentences of your video triggered this writing. Is this undertaking useless? Doesn't the truth level the playing field? I like your video, but I sure don't like the idea that my God, the God of Israel is a stinker is unsettling, although I can see how you could argue the case. I think, either we are ultimately safe in this universe or we aren't, we must decide. I have already been through so much alone, is there no help? No connection? Thank God for Grace, through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It wouldn't matter if he never existed, that was then and this is now.
Thank you for your feedback. Yes, what I am suggesting can be very uneasy. I understand why many people do not like what I say. Anyway, whatever path you choose, I wish you a safe journey. All the best. :)
@@TheRecluseeee with many thanks! Your lecture really moved me today, it helped me tremendously. I have been stuck under the heaviness for some weeks, as I feel it greatly. Thanks to you it has helped me to deal with what is happening now, on more levels than I had previously accepted. It allows me to progress my work here and is giving the specific guidance I was seeking. Its great that you have more vitality now, I'm so happy for you and that you can be with us again!! Much Love ❤
Thank you for uploading this, fren
You're very welcome! :)
Hi. I'm happy to hear your feeling better. You have my support
Thank you for your support and all the best! :)
Going to listen to the entire playlist - please add this one to it :-)
ua-cam.com/play/PLG8klsjxFY-N90N615cVzCcfqLqEzglD0.html (Playlist link) Thanks for listening! :)
Glad you back. Awesome content.
You are very welcome! :)
so interesting learning about the demiurge's karma!!
Great
Thanks for listening. All the best. :)
www.patreon.com/free_audiobooks_for_intellectual_exercise (You can support me via Patreon page)
Your welcome. Thank you as well
I am trying to be a good stoic, when I wake up, I expect problems to arise. I am old, and chronic autonomic nervous system dysfunction puts me in bed and emotional dysregulation causes terrible suffering.. It is a result of both concussion injury and an incredibly mean family who shunned me twenty years ago.
After decades of social isolation, and self examination, I have learned to be very happy alone, keeping house and working on the land. in a small community of five homes. The family that rejected me decades ago came into my life again recently, gave me granddaughters, then pulled the rug out from under me. Put me in bed, layed out.
I have not responded to them for decades. But I don't want to be in bed, not knowing if I will be able to get up again. And this is so unnecessary, it makes me angry. And it is not just them, the neighbors turned out to be sneaky mean like the whole wide world.
Now, I can lay these people out flat by writing as a result of living each day striving for no regrets. No narrative. Put it in a blog.. It seems that once they face the suffering they have caused, the suffering they could have relieved, their reaction will define them. Sort of like a spiritual crossing the line.
Am I engaging them?
Or is it because I have disengaged so well, that I can finally write these things so clearly, no longer being upset by recalling the past. And I enjoy writing, it is the most fun I have indoors. And may be the only thing left to do while in bed. Maybe I should disengage squared.
So as I am listening to you for the first time, I am coming to this crossroad. I want to clear up my reputation, now that I have grandchildren. I want them to know me, I want to tell them who I really am. So the last few sentences of your video triggered this writing. Is this undertaking useless? Doesn't the truth level the playing field?
I like your video, but I sure don't like the idea that my God, the God of Israel is a stinker is unsettling, although I can see how you could argue the case. I think, either we are ultimately safe in this universe or we aren't, we must decide. I have already been through so much alone, is there no help? No connection? Thank God for Grace, through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It wouldn't matter if he never existed, that was then and this is now.
Thank you for your feedback. Yes, what I am suggesting can be very uneasy. I understand why many people do not like what I say. Anyway, whatever path you choose, I wish you a safe journey. All the best. :)
Thank you so much for helping us. Interesting times. I have a plan for my etheric being ❤
The pleasure's all mine! All the best and cheers!
@@TheRecluseeee with many thanks! Your lecture really moved me today, it helped me tremendously. I have been stuck under the heaviness for some weeks, as I feel it greatly. Thanks to you it has helped me to deal with what is happening now, on more levels than I had previously accepted. It allows me to progress my work here and is giving the specific guidance I was seeking. Its great that you have more vitality now, I'm so happy for you and that you can be with us again!! Much Love ❤
I am very glad that my lecture helped. Yeah, it's tough to navigate this time of deterioration. Safe journey and all the best. :)
@@TheRecluseeee it sure is and the wisdom you share makes it easier. Safe journeys to you too my friend :)
ua-cam.com/play/PLG8klsjxFY-N90N615cVzCcfqLqEzglD0.html (Kali Yuga Playlist link) Thanks for listening! :)
Where is part 1 and part 2 of these?
I don't really just want to start from part 3, and then listen to parts 4&5 without hearing it all of it.
ua-cam.com/play/PLG8klsjxFY-N90N615cVzCcfqLqEzglD0.html (Playlist link) Thanks for listening! :)
☯️
What is communal gravity :l
So you believe everyone is going through the Kali Yuga?
Yes.
@@TheRecluseeee I’m
Holding on for dear life ignoring very dark black magnetic thoughts, I get it as an actual sensory “hallucination”.