Toxic “Boy Moms” and The Odd Hatred Towards Daughters

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  • Опубліковано 6 січ 2024
  • In recent years, it seems like boy moms have taken over especially on the internet. In this video we will be discussing toxic boy moms and their odd hatred towards their daughters.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,1 тис.

  • @meaganwillcott3177
    @meaganwillcott3177 4 місяці тому +3143

    Imagine being so desperate for male validation you seek it out in an infant

    • @kaylapounds1359
      @kaylapounds1359 4 місяці тому +111

      Some people do that with kids in general. They have kids to feel loved. Or to keep a piece of the person who they thought loved them.

    • @BelleRebato
      @BelleRebato 4 місяці тому +162

      ​@@kaylapounds1359and they say being childless is selfish but having children for the purpose of being loved and taken care of is not a selfish decision? Lol

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 3 місяці тому +42

      ​@@BelleRebato Proof that this society is more beneficial for men.
      No disrespect to guys, but this is reality.

    • @TiaNichole17
      @TiaNichole17 3 місяці тому +17

      I swear that sounds gross 🤢

    • @darlenegattus8190
      @darlenegattus8190 2 місяці тому +7

      Exactly

  • @Shiann444
    @Shiann444 5 місяців тому +11228

    It’s not harder to raise a girl, y’all just let your sons get away with everything so it seems that way

    • @no_peace
      @no_peace 5 місяців тому +963

      Yeah, they literally don't raise sons at all. That's why it's easier. They aren't doing it

    • @marilynw.8777
      @marilynw.8777 5 місяців тому +449

      Yea, I only have a girl- but from observing and listening to mothers of sons- raising a girl is not any harder. May be a bit different occasionally, but not more difficult.

    • @KhadijahsMamma
      @KhadijahsMamma 4 місяці тому +263

      And than they become jealous of their daughter in laws

    • @winniethepooht5776
      @winniethepooht5776 4 місяці тому

      Seriously! Saying girls are harder to raise is saying men are better than women, even if they don't think that's what they're saying. Both comes with certain struggles you don't necessarily get with the other, what difference does the double X chromosome make in difficulty? Raising a child is hard period, doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl.....although I do appreciate that my dad said he was happy when he found out I was a girl because, quote, "Boys are stupid." My mom also said she would've been happy if I was a boy, but was glad I was a girl because, quote, "Girls are more fun." Thanks, mommy and daddy.❤️
      BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS!☝🏽

    • @doggytheanarchist7876
      @doggytheanarchist7876 4 місяці тому +49

      100% this

  • @bucky7505
    @bucky7505 4 місяці тому +4728

    My hot take for why people think teen girls are full of drama is because they cause it. As soon as that first menstrual cycle hits, they do anything but sympathize with them, dismiss them, and purposely irritate them even more. the parent causes all of the drama.

    • @no_one2197
      @no_one2197 4 місяці тому +440

      I know my mom does this. She has zero empathy for anything related to me. I graduated college, magna cum laude, not even a "congratulations". I got angry at her, told her I was hurt and then I was the bad guy. This happens all the time with many different scenarios

    • @user-lt5cg5wz8m
      @user-lt5cg5wz8m 4 місяці тому +328

      They also don’t prepare girls for the huge change that happens! They’re just like “oh you’re crazy now, great!”

    • @Flow-Fi-
      @Flow-Fi- 4 місяці тому

      @@no_one2197 Magna Cum Laude is actually super impressive and cool, the fact that your mom didn’t even give a congratulations or act proud is bewildering to me. If my child got a cum laude (giggling to myself cause I’m a fucking 5 year old) at a university, you bet your ass I’d be crying and throwing a week long party. If she didn’t care about an impressive feat like that, what does she even care about? Genuinely flabbergasted

    • @Cookiefight69
      @Cookiefight69 4 місяці тому +62

      Yes 🙌 I’ve got two girls, oldest which is 16. We have a wonderful relationship and I attribute that to me always willing to listen as well as treat her with respect. Her dad on the other hand has a tumultuous relationship with her due to treating her the exact opposite as me.

    • @Cookiefight69
      @Cookiefight69 4 місяці тому +105

      @@no_one2197I’m so sorry your mom treated you that way. I’m a mom to a 16 year old and I’d be absolutely ecstatic for mine if she was that successful. Also, congratulations on your success!

  • @snazzyjazzysg110
    @snazzyjazzysg110 4 місяці тому +1096

    “Let boys be boys” worst saying that I grew up with

    • @Rae.Harper
      @Rae.Harper 4 місяці тому

      My daughter just started highschool and I have flashbacks to the harassment I got from boys due to the size of my chest (was an early early bloomer and to this day, large chested, was hard to hide at school and got a lot of unwanted attention) when I would go to a teacher I would get b.s. like “boys will be boys, just ignore it” and I swore then… at 12/13 years old that if I had a girl and heard that when she was harassed (sexually or not) I would not take it laying down… and guess what… I still swear I will punch throats or kneecap someone if they say “boys will be boys” no… “rapists in the making will be rapists in the making”

    • @HORIZONNNN
      @HORIZONNNN 4 місяці тому +51

      THIS LORD 😭 I had a boy who was bullying me and the way how my school, my mom and the boy’s mom reacted was insane. They basically allowed him to harass me

    • @iaegyo
      @iaegyo 3 місяці тому +20

      *Being a boy doesn't mean being bad!*

    • @Jo-dk9my
      @Jo-dk9my 3 місяці тому +57

      “he’s mean to you because he likes you!!” is another one

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 2 місяці тому

      ​@@iaegyoNo but in nature boys and men seem to be dirty beings.

  • @tfpradgirl9537
    @tfpradgirl9537 5 місяців тому +6106

    These moms are borderline incestuous towards their sons. It makes me uncomfortable.

    • @TIAOFNEBULA
      @TIAOFNEBULA 5 місяців тому +510

      its not even borderline it is incestuous.

    • @pynklady11
      @pynklady11 5 місяців тому +113

      Get out of my head lmao. That was my first thought when i saw this before i saw your comment😂😂😂😂​@TIAOFNEBULA

    • @jahminastephens8026
      @jahminastephens8026 5 місяців тому

      They ARE incestuous

    • @9Mountains9
      @9Mountains9 5 місяців тому +289

      TALK ABOUT IT, it’s like after they break up with their son’s father and watch their son grow up they subconsciously fall in love all over again smh, it’s so weird. They’re looking for unconditional love from their own sons that they didn’t feel like they had from their boyfriends/husbands & it’s getting weirdddd.

    • @KaeMaiden
      @KaeMaiden 5 місяців тому +68

      People also display massive double standards at mothers/fathers affections and protective nature towards their opposite gendered children. Case in point:
      -Daddy/Daughter relationships 👍🏽Praised
      -Mummy/Son relationships 👎Ridiculed
      -"Fathers, treat your daughters the way you want her husband to treat her"😊
      -"Mothers, stop treating your sons that way. You're not his wife and you'll spoil him"😤
      -Fathers opening daughters car door: "Such gentlemen" 🤩
      -Mothers cooking for sons. "Why is she still clingy?"☹️
      -"She's daddy's princess at 21yrs old" 🥰
      -"He's momma's boy at 16yrs old" 😡
      -"She's got her dad wrapped around her pinky" ☺️
      -"He's tied to his mum's apron" 😒
      -"Daddies are daughters first love" ☺️
      -"Mummies are sons first love" 🙁
      Yes, some mothers coddle their sons and drag up their daughters, but in a balanced relationship where both parents do their parts, it's just a reflection on dynamics of family life. Mothers coddles their sons because they feel the world is hard on them, fathers coddles their daughters because they feel the world is unsafe for them.

  • @geminienergy
    @geminienergy 5 місяців тому +2520

    Y’all noticed how Kim said her daughters have an attitude, so being a boy, mom is the best. Meanwhile, every time they’re in public her son flicks off the public.

    • @jelatinosa
      @jelatinosa 4 місяці тому

      It's just like everything. People always think the same action is worse when a woman or girl does it. When a man/boy does something bad it's just boys being boys, and seen as normal male behavior.

    • @FunFactswithAmani
      @FunFactswithAmani 4 місяці тому +48

      Kim? Kim kardashian?

    • @orangejuicethanks
      @orangejuicethanks 4 місяці тому +121

      @@FunFactswithAmaniyes 🥲 it’s crazy

    • @meggo329
      @meggo329 4 місяці тому +277

      Her daughter's have an attitude because the learned it from her

    • @user-rf3te8uf2d
      @user-rf3te8uf2d 4 місяці тому +71

      And why can't she get her kids under control? I wasn't allowed to steal anything from anyone - why are they? Why do you let them have an "attitude"? I and my friends couldn't get away with that. We wouldn't even TRY.

  • @LadyJuse
    @LadyJuse 4 місяці тому +1979

    You know what doesn't really get talked about with Boy Moms? Their relationship with their own mothers.

    • @olilumgbalu5653
      @olilumgbalu5653 4 місяці тому +31

      What sort of relationship do you think Boy Moms had with their own mothers?

    • @ohboy-zi1yf
      @ohboy-zi1yf 4 місяці тому +284

      ​@@olilumgbalu5653 the same way they treat their daughters

    • @FunFactswithAmani
      @FunFactswithAmani 4 місяці тому +38

      Talk about it! I wanna hear it

    • @Narciso_rose
      @Narciso_rose 4 місяці тому

      @@FunFactswithAmanithere’s always two type the sons with a toxic mother is either an extremely comfortable always expecting their partners to be like their mothers boundaries does not exist the second is a narcissist who NEVER take accountability they don’t even know wtf that is those are men you want the stay the hell away from because they WILL call their mother if they don’t have their way if you ever date a man like that I promise you his mom will make your life hell toxic boy mom create manipulative sons however it possible but rare when a toxic boy mom raise a very self aware son who later make the choice of becoming their own person ending that generational curse or live the life their mother wants and becoming people pleasers

    • @bgranger_842
      @bgranger_842 4 місяці тому +34

      Very interesting point

  • @rationalcynic8416
    @rationalcynic8416 4 місяці тому +1460

    I have noticed that the mindset from "girl dads" is a LOT healthier. "Boy moms" seem to have an incestuous-like obsession with their son, which is why the mother of the groom always seems to hate their new daughter-in-law. "Girl dads", like my dad, are pretty chill with their son-in-laws, as long as they treat their daughter well, they're good.

    • @leahvolmer9210
      @leahvolmer9210 4 місяці тому +221

      I wouldn't say "girl dads" have a healthier dynamic. My dad is a "girl dad" and the way he holds double standards for his sons that he doesn't have for his daughters is ridiculous. My 40 year old sister has never had a job, but my dad just paid off a car he bought for her while only ever griping about how my brother doesn't have his life together yet. Gripes about him not having a job, but has NEVER SAID A PEEP about her being unemployed. He even congratulates her son for having a job, but still nothing about her......
      Many "girl dads" will coddle their daughters, bail them out of troubles, and have looser expectations than they will with sons. I live in both scenarios. My mom is a "boy mom" and dad is a "girl dad". Both suck. It just caused all sorts of fights with my parents and whiplash dynamics that have left me confused as to kind of relationship I have with them.

    • @rationalcynic8416
      @rationalcynic8416 4 місяці тому +98

      @leahvolmer9210 By better I should have said it seems to be less "incestuous".

    • @leahvolmer9210
      @leahvolmer9210 4 місяці тому +67

      @@rationalcynic8416 yeah, they tend to be less incestuous, but that doesn't mean they're healthy.

    • @Siren_442
      @Siren_442 4 місяці тому +22

      ​@@leahvolmer9210 what are you Even talking about? How Many people have you met other than your dad that been a girl dad(who even says that?) And does all the stuff you claimed girl dad's do?

    • @leahvolmer9210
      @leahvolmer9210 4 місяці тому +73

      @@Siren_442 Daddy''s Little Princess. "She has her daddy wrapped around her little finger." Have you ever heard the phrases? Plenty of dads coddle and spoil their daughters in ways that they would never do to their sons.
      And yes, I have met quite a few "girl dads" who have entitled little princesses as daughters.

  • @tarsi00
    @tarsi00 5 місяців тому +11030

    I have a 3 year old daughter and my husband and I noticed when we go to play places, any time a girl does something wrong, the parent corrects the girl.. but if it’s a boy doing something wrong, 9 times out of 10 the parents don’t do or say anything to correct it. It drives me insane. Then we wonder why these boys grow up not getting along with their wife…

    • @zero1188
      @zero1188 5 місяців тому

      Mainly because women are judge more for bad behavior than men in society

    • @BabyRastasaurus
      @BabyRastasaurus 5 місяців тому +585

      I think sometimes parents give up on raising boys with manners faster than they would give up raising a girl with manners.
      I don't know many non Muslim families that only raise one gender strict, I do see it a lot in the Muslim community

    • @notyet2345
      @notyet2345 5 місяців тому +871

      I remember watching a video about a year ago where they left 10 boys alone for a week and 10 girls alone for a week. You can imagine what happen. They boys trashed the house and even though they were given basic cooking lessons, they ate ceral all week. By the end of the week, the house was destroy and they had even created gangs and started bullying the weaker boys.
      The girls on the hand immediately started planning their activities for the week. The girls were also given cooking lessons that they actually used. They came up with a chore list of who was going to do what. They did things like have a fashion show, spa day....etc and were just generally supportive of each other. By the end of the week, the house was intact and the girls remained friends.

    • @calamberted961
      @calamberted961 5 місяців тому +331

      Smh yeah that’s horrible. Even when things happen between my kids (sister & brother) I ALWAYS set my son straight first and let him know how to respect women/young girls, whether it’s joking around or not. I nip it in the bud immediately. Having both boy & girl I see the importance of a girl having a voice and a boy knowing respect and boundaries.

    • @Melly_z
      @Melly_z 5 місяців тому +47

      AMEN TO THE AMEN

  • @AK-go7sh
    @AK-go7sh 5 місяців тому +3254

    The way some boy moms excuse their sons bad behaviors is crazy. Their sons could be serial killers, and they would probably say something like: "My son would never, he's an angel."

    • @angelamaryquitecontrary4609
      @angelamaryquitecontrary4609 5 місяців тому +101

      cf: Chris Watts.

    • @minbroe
      @minbroe 5 місяців тому +194

      i watch true crime and it happens so much 😭

    • @YourfavRiddleprincess
      @YourfavRiddleprincess 5 місяців тому +134

      Yes and it’s getting out of hand my mom always takes my brothers side because he’s a boy and he would never do anything to hurt someone even though I his own sister have bruises and scars when he has put his hands on me and hit me many times but my mom just says we were playing like the fuck women your son just put his hands on me and your saying he’s playing and I still live in this toxic house hold and it hurts me so much to see that I get showed less love because I’m a girl

    • @priyankapriyadarshini8494
      @priyankapriyadarshini8494 5 місяців тому +23

      That's horrible😢. I wish More power to you.❤@@YourfavRiddleprincess

    • @AK-go7sh
      @AK-go7sh 5 місяців тому +27

      @@YourfavRiddleprincess Sorry to hear that.😢I don't have kids, but I can't ever imagine favorizing sons like this.

  • @blabberink
    @blabberink 4 місяці тому +1136

    As a latina girl with an older brother. He does not do ANYTHING, he is a adult and I as a teenage have to take all the responsibility with my mother, the audacity he has is unbelievable, I told my mother when I was growing up that she was being unfair and she let him get away with everything but she only realized now, and now she can't raise that child, so I have to deal with it and it is infuriating and tiring.

    • @ladywartooth
      @ladywartooth 4 місяці тому +80

      I have an older cousin like that. He's in his 70's and still lives his life like he's on vacation, living in his sister's house for free. He's supposed to do repairs around the house as rent payment but his repairs are garbage. Like he replaced some shower tiles that fell and didn't even put grout in between the spaces, just a piece of clear duct tape that is growing mold underneath already.
      Don't be the sister that houses her deadbeat brother. He can sink or swim on his own.

    • @bunbun9419
      @bunbun9419 4 місяці тому +20

      I don’t have any brothers, but I’ve seen the same thing happens to the men in my family

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 4 місяці тому +17

      I don't have an older brother, but my older sister definitely treated me like I am worthless, because that was the kind of view my mother had for me :I was the scapegoat.
      She was the golden child and when one day I admitted how jealous I was of the treatment she received, she said I speak nonsense and that I need therapy...
      Well you can see the empathy she had for me... 0 ZERO!

    • @FunFactswithAmani
      @FunFactswithAmani 4 місяці тому +2

      Does she know why she raised him like that to begin with? It is generational curse?

    • @Narciso_rose
      @Narciso_rose 4 місяці тому +24

      Girl same omg my mother wanna complain why her son being disrespectful and I looked at her I said this is what you get for not listening I keep telling you to discipline him but you treat him like a baby meanwhile she made me wash dishes at the age of 10 call me Cinderella bc I’m a maid in my own house forever cleaning up after him your brother is older than you mine is younger so they have that advantage over me even though he’s turning 18 soon but regardless age don’t even matter to them I’ll never emotionally understand her obsession with him I always avoid cleaning the entire kitchen when he’s around because SOMEHOW in less than five minutes it all a mess again 🧍🏽‍♀️my intrusive thoughts will fucking win one day

  • @bee1411
    @bee1411 4 місяці тому +166

    My husband was raised by a “boy mom”; and now has complex sexual/emotional incest trauma. These mothers are traumatizing their sons.

    • @KennethRachel-xi7dv
      @KennethRachel-xi7dv Місяць тому +5

      What does sexual/emotional incest trauma actually mean ?

    • @bee1411
      @bee1411 Місяць тому

      @@KennethRachel-xi7dv Please just google it. It is called covert incest.

    • @MikeAftonsWife
      @MikeAftonsWife День тому +1

      @@KennethRachel-xi7dvbasically their mom tries to “do” their son i think😭

    • @KennethRachel-xi7dv
      @KennethRachel-xi7dv День тому

      @@MikeAftonsWife oh my this is terrible. Yes they over step and make their son there dream guy or something like that very sadistic and evil of a woman to do to whom she is supposed to protect and be a healthy motherly figure so sad 😢

  • @vcrwheelss
    @vcrwheelss 5 місяців тому +2770

    i find it so weird that girls moms usually just call themselves "moms" but moms with boys are "boy moms" like why do you want people to know you have a son so badly

    • @glam2gobeauty811
      @glam2gobeauty811 5 місяців тому +315

      I agree. When I was younger I would hear women with ALL boys say "boy mom". That made sense to me since they didn't have daughters. But currently I hear it a lot more with moms who have both genders for kids. It's weird.

    • @AlejandroSovsa
      @AlejandroSovsa 5 місяців тому +1

      Simple boys rule girls drool 🤤

    • @Ladybugg222_
      @Ladybugg222_ 5 місяців тому +19

      What’s wrong with being a proud boy mom though ? 😂& no I don’t say it because I think I have a one up on girl moms I genuinely feel proud to be a boy mom. I don’t see what’s wrong with that lol

    • @audreyf9092
      @audreyf9092 5 місяців тому +340

      @@Ladybugg222_It’s stupid. People who say this take too much pride in their kids gender and it’s weird. Children are just children at the end of the day, having a boy is not anymore special than having a girl.

    • @Ladybugg222_
      @Ladybugg222_ 5 місяців тому +29

      @@audreyf9092 I don’t care about my child’s gender. I just happen to have 2 boys. I’d be proud too if it were the other way around. I’m also not gonna be ashamed that I had boys either 😂 I’ll always be a proud boy mom I find it weird that people care that much about what’s other call themselves

  • @kirky3051
    @kirky3051 5 місяців тому +1280

    Some moms are jealous of their daughters.

    • @everythingY2k
      @everythingY2k 5 місяців тому +92

      yea true but not even just that i think women’s worst haters/ critics are other women. we can talk all day any how men treat women badly but women literally subconsciously judge women so much if we think abt it

    • @azureavocado5195
      @azureavocado5195 4 місяці тому

      Jealousy is such a LAZY term.
      Think deeper.
      They hate these girls and want to passively destroy them.

    • @welliminitnowso
      @welliminitnowso 4 місяці тому +47

      Exactly! Our youth , energy , opportunities etc

    • @queenofcats9240
      @queenofcats9240 4 місяці тому +36

      @@everythingY2kLooking back, I feel like this was the case with my older sisters. I’m the youngest of 3 girls but my middle sister was the worst bully out of the two of them. She’d always tell me that I had ugly hair, that my acne made me look unhygienic, and that I smelled terrible. I never thought those things about myself until she pointed them out. The thing is, she actually has a bigger nose and had way more acne than me at that time period. Looking back, she was definitely projecting. When I bring those things up to her now, she denies ever saying them, or even being a bully. She’ll tell her friends that we were super close but then I’d contradict and say “She yanked me by the hair and dragged me across the living room floor when I said no to getting her a Caprisun”

    • @teoleno4019
      @teoleno4019 4 місяці тому +19

      They are very jealous!

  • @DFC3770
    @DFC3770 4 місяці тому +577

    My dad, before he passed, loved my sister and I so much. My mom talks about how he always wanted girls, and he said so bc his mom raised him. His father was pretty absent, so his mom raised him and his sister. He wanted to raise strong women, just like how strong his mom is. Sadly, he passed away when I was 11 (and my younger sister was 7). I will never ever forget how much he loved my sister and I, and how he would shoot down jokes abt us “being better if we were sons”. I love my dad so much, and Im so grateful that he loved us so much when he was alive.

    • @ijustneedmyself
      @ijustneedmyself 4 місяці тому +34

      I'm sorry to hear about your dad and that people "joked" that it would've been better if you were sons. I can't believe (I can) that people let stuff like that leave their mouths. Jeez. I hope this isn't too personal, but was there anything your mom did that helped you remember your dad and kept him alive in your heart? You were quite a bit older than my son when he lost his dad (he turned 4 just 8 days after my husband passed). I want him to remember his dad and how much they loved each other. I've been trying to bring him up regularly. Sometimes we look at photos and videos. Beyond that I don't know what else to do 😢

    • @MeMe-ht2hd
      @MeMe-ht2hd 4 місяці тому +10

      So, sorry 😞. At least you know you were loved. If, you ever have one of those bad days remember your daddy's love .

  • @hannahbanana0466
    @hannahbanana0466 4 місяці тому +221

    They literally look to their sons to fulfill that emotional role that their partner should be filling. It's giving emotional incest 🤮

  • @BeautyRevolutionist
    @BeautyRevolutionist 5 місяців тому +6774

    I LOVE being a girl mom. It has helped heal my feminine energy and my inner girl that had an incredibly neglectful childhood.
    Any woman who hates her daughter really hates herself.

    • @ginihall1234
      @ginihall1234 5 місяців тому

      This is why I want to have girls

    • @donyelllove2490
      @donyelllove2490 5 місяців тому +230

      I feel the sammme way , I am healing my fem energy too it’s been great

    • @backdoorsluts_9
      @backdoorsluts_9 5 місяців тому +90

      Yes! This!!

    • @theresa.m.
      @theresa.m. 5 місяців тому +155

      Same! I have 4 daughters and it’s been so wonderful.

    • @moabelen8942
      @moabelen8942 5 місяців тому +362

      Any woman who hates her daughter 👏 hates 👏 her 👏 self 👏 AMENNNNN. Yo! I’m a girl mom and I LOVE it. I want her to become a soft, flourishing, Vibing and thriving self loving and confident woman not remembering a single day in her life in which she wasn’t told that she is loved

  • @tamaraweg1538
    @tamaraweg1538 5 місяців тому +2525

    I’m one of four girls (no boys) and the amount of times people said “oh your poor parents, wait til you’re all teenagers” growing up was endless. Meanwhile, my dad has made it clear even 25+ years later that we were great kids. The “girls are catty” and “rebellious” comments are still so infuriating to us…we never fought and didn’t cause problems. Thankful to have a father who loves having daughters 🙏🏻

    • @Cayliente
      @Cayliente 5 місяців тому +160

      My mom is definitely one of those “just wait til you have teenagers..” types and I’m like 1st of all, I teach 100 high schoolers 5 days a week and even have to travel with them out of town/state for school competitions so I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay. 2nd of all, I was an honor student who never once got in trouble in school, didn’t drink, etc. so what does she know about “terrible” teenagers??

    • @jennifertorres-morales4505
      @jennifertorres-morales4505 4 місяці тому +7

      I’m one of four girls and no brothers too I feel you 😢

    • @lovelover4408
      @lovelover4408 4 місяці тому +5

      You’re lucky 💓

    • @YouTubeWatcher-ip4cm
      @YouTubeWatcher-ip4cm 4 місяці тому +43

      I’m the youngest of 4 girls and both of my parents were happy that we were all girls. My mom has said she made sure to give us all the love she missed out on as a kid because she had 2 brothers who were spoiled and treated like they could do no wrong while she was always criticized and treated like the scapegoat. My father who was an only child and severely abused by both of his parents said he would love any child unconditionally and never cared what gender they were. As you can imagine though they used to get a lot of comments that would annoy them like “when are you going to try for that boy?” “Wait until they are teenagers” or literally “that sucks” which was actually said to my dad a few times.

    • @jostockton.
      @jostockton. 4 місяці тому

      ​@@haleyfowler193yep, men are catty and they assume women operate the same way!

  • @Lala-lp1uy
    @Lala-lp1uy 4 місяці тому +232

    I grew up with a toxic mom who let her son get away with everything, including assaulting me as a young teen as form of “discipline.” He went on to assault his partners.
    He ended up in jail for dv and my mom told him “she screwed you over.” He assaulted his mistress the week he was set to be married to another woman.
    He has never taken responsibility for his abusive behaviour towards me. My family started isolating me when my mother died and told me I was just too angry and I would “upset” people because they were afraid I might disclose.
    I felt made responsible for his shitty behaviour and for not accepting it and just playing along.

    • @Rosebud245
      @Rosebud245 4 місяці тому +27

      At the end of the day, he's responsible for his own actions, especially now as a grown man. No matter what, he'll get his due.
      I hope you find a space where people truly care for you and I wish the best for you. Please don't let this get to you, it was not your fault.

    • @lauramartin7675
      @lauramartin7675 4 місяці тому +21

      that family didn't deserve you. I hope you find your own family that does.🥰

    • @MinaSteph
      @MinaSteph 4 місяці тому +24

      Eff them isolating you, you should go No Contact with all of those abuse enablers. Wishing you a happy life!

  • @HSOP-OFFICIAL
    @HSOP-OFFICIAL 4 місяці тому +104

    My dad's mom raised him to be fully independent so he would pick a wife for love, not a maid, nanny, or cook. She had three sons and never acted like these moms. And she was born in 1800s.

  • @aubreewithaextrae
    @aubreewithaextrae 5 місяців тому +2793

    as the saying goes... "every child deserves parents but not all parents deserve a child."

    • @misskittyboop8749
      @misskittyboop8749 5 місяців тому +22

      #facts

    • @JR1ckDoodles
      @JR1ckDoodles 5 місяців тому +4

      What about
      Every parent deserves a child but not all children deserve a parent.
      /j

    • @jezelche3456
      @jezelche3456 5 місяців тому +21

      @@JR1ckDoodles Hmm, not really. Nobody’s really born into this world knowing even just the basics of survival, but. Most of the time when people become parents, they’ve had at least some experience with life hence why they have responsibilities for guiding the child. Unfortunately, not everybody reaches the maturity to properly guide the children they bring into this world which is why not every parent deserves a child because obviously they’re the ones who bring children into this world not the other way around.

    • @Kalmanuni
      @Kalmanuni 5 місяців тому +7

      ​@@jezelche3456 "/j" at the end of a comment means they are joking

    • @Yuqideqiko
      @Yuqideqiko 4 місяці тому +2

      @@Kalmanuni is that a Reddit thing?

  • @notyet2345
    @notyet2345 5 місяців тому +1701

    Daughters are also expected to become caretakers for their parents and even for their in-laws.

    • @thehouseofmillie
      @thehouseofmillie 5 місяців тому +41

      only do it if they pay you for that sweat equity.

    • @nalbinalbii888
      @nalbinalbii888 5 місяців тому +20

      ​@@thehouseofmillie I mean your parents raising you correctly if that is the case should be reason enough to want to take care of you parents. as for in laws...

    • @seasonedqueen6960
      @seasonedqueen6960 4 місяці тому +148

      @@nalbinalbii888 parents are supposed to take care of their children. That’s bare minimum. They’re SUPPOSED to do that. No daughter or son asked to be here. It’s no child’s responsibility to take care of their parents and especially NOT the in laws. If a child chooses to take care of their parent’s it’s out of the goodness of their hearts but not because they HAVE to cuz trust me, children are not obligated to their parents

    • @nalbinalbii888
      @nalbinalbii888 4 місяці тому +3

      @@seasonedqueen6960 I never said they were

    • @Sentient-roadside-boxwood
      @Sentient-roadside-boxwood 4 місяці тому +26

      @seasonedqueen6960
      I think you got this wrong😅
      Sure, no one is obligated to do this, but a parent is really a good parent, the child will want to be a really good child for them. Its not a responsibility but an urge.

  • @alyssamartinez2661
    @alyssamartinez2661 4 місяці тому +279

    As a daughter of a father who favored his sons, I get this too. My mom was actually really great about making sure she treated us equally. But my dad? So strict with me. I was basically a second mother to my siblings. I was also seen as another woman to serve him. My mom would leave on work trips and my dad wouldn’t make dinner cause “he didn’t know how” so I did it for us or else we ate McDonald’s every night. To this day, I’m not sure how my parents worked out for so long. I was glad when I heard they were getting divorced.

    • @kaylapounds1359
      @kaylapounds1359 4 місяці тому +13

      My half sister's grandparents... ooh the stories my mom told me about them! The woman was very demanding and negative. She made her husband sleep in another room because he snored. She wore off white to her son's wedding. She refused to help pay for anything involved with the wedding. Was more strict with her daughter to the point the daughter intentionally got pregnant as a teenager so she could move out. I only met them a couple times when I was younger, but I always wondered why the man stayed married to her.

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 2 місяці тому +3

      Be gratefull that your parents got divorced, because my parents refuse to be divorced, even though both me and my sister were literally just raised in a toxic environment, because of them.
      I am very sorry this happened to you and I hope you heal by going to therapy and find your own happiness.
      When our father was absent, our mother would be very strict with both of us, regardless of the fact that I was the younger sister. She had high expectations of my sister and for me? Well after she spoiled me, she decided that I was worthless and a threat to my own family.

    • @Kohlerstacey
      @Kohlerstacey 2 місяці тому +1

      My mom started taking night classes when I was 12. Obviously that meant that I was responsible for making and cleaning dinner instead of the grown man, my father. That was when I really became the "third adult " in the family.

  • @averykitsch
    @averykitsch 3 місяці тому +144

    Just to be clear... this is the kind of mothering that creates serial killers

    • @thagrandpubah
      @thagrandpubah 2 місяці тому

      Now you’re REACHING!
      GirlDad’s literally say they hate all males because they want to protect their daughters.
      Plus GirlDads make the worst spoiled brat B-word attitude having females that see all men as their slaves for demanding princess treatment while giving nothing in return.

  • @Liya_007
    @Liya_007 5 місяців тому +985

    I hate when in movies and tv shows when the daughter is arguing on how their brother is able to date and be out late and how it's unfair all the mom has to say is "well he can't get pregnant" like hello your son can still get someone pregnant just because he would not be carrying the child doesn't mean it's any less his responsibility as the girl who gets pregnant that argument has always been so stupid to me cause it takes two to tango.

    • @name8220
      @name8220 4 місяці тому +80

      ALSO if your sons get some girl preg guess who has the say in the end?! The girl so if she wants to keep it the boys is forced to step the f up like he should and guess what he has to coparent for the rest of his life likes it or not.

    • @kaylapounds1359
      @kaylapounds1359 4 місяці тому +55

      I'm so glad I wasn't born out lived in the 50s/60s or before. Because I can't understand the concept of making a teenage girl who gets pregnant go stay with relatives in another city or state to hide the "shame" of what they did, but the boys involved in creating that pregnancy are never held accountable.

    • @jennifercavenee7572
      @jennifercavenee7572 4 місяці тому +46

      Pregnancy is also not the only bad thing that can happen to a teenager out at night. A boy can be assaulted, mugged, or get into a car accident just as easily as a girl can.

    • @Rae.Harper
      @Rae.Harper 4 місяці тому +64

      Mums forget… their daughter can only get pregnant once every 10 months… their sons can get multiple girls pregnant EVERY DAY… I hate the “he can’t get pregnant but you can” excuse…

    • @aeeaee7834
      @aeeaee7834 4 місяці тому

      They need to learn to "ejaculate responsibility" as I've heard it put

  • @jayogee913
    @jayogee913 5 місяців тому +1513

    These toxic boy moms look to their sons as "back-up husbands." They figure if their actual husbands ever die or leave them, they can lean on their sons for support, attention, and money. I've seen it my whole life. Yes, it's gross.

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 5 місяців тому +49

      YES THIS!!

    • @hanzquejano7112
      @hanzquejano7112 4 місяці тому

      In third world places, boys already do manual labor for minimum income before they even reach eleven. And people see nothing wrong with it, they're even praised for already being that skilled at a young age.

    • @Harsha-D311
      @Harsha-D311 4 місяці тому +42

      Yeah ik
      In Indian culture it is like that

    • @MM-ow9xm
      @MM-ow9xm 4 місяці тому

      It’s called emotional incest and it shows mom is a narcissist

    • @olilumgbalu5653
      @olilumgbalu5653 4 місяці тому +36

      They're in for a surprise...it's been my experience/observation that it's the sons who lean on the mothers for money and support.

  • @Octolope
    @Octolope 4 місяці тому +98

    Moms hates their daughters because they see them as competitions

    • @darlenegattus8190
      @darlenegattus8190 2 місяці тому +5

      Not all Moms...

    • @AndrielleHillis
      @AndrielleHillis 2 місяці тому +2

      And there are a lot of toxic Girl Dads out there.

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 2 місяці тому +4

      ​@@AndrielleHillisReally? I was lucky my dad was a girl dad and supportive of me. No wonder my mother hated me and dismissed me.

    • @AndrielleHillis
      @AndrielleHillis 2 місяці тому

      @@missstranger7697 Well, just like with mother/son relationships, father/daughter relationships can also go overboard. Being supportive of your child (no matter the gender) is one thing, but being obsessed with your child to the point of being dismissive of other relationships is another. Since I've never met you or either of your parents, I cannot make judgements of any of it. All I can say is that I've seen several families where as soon as a daughter was born, the dad pretty much forgot the mom existed.

    • @mcyters_._3852
      @mcyters_._3852 2 місяці тому +1

      Um not all moms lol

  • @yourlittlesecret7575
    @yourlittlesecret7575 4 місяці тому +73

    “He hits his sisters. He punches them. I just think oh maybe he’s just having a hard day.” O…M…G…
    Yikes…

    • @doomdecepticon933
      @doomdecepticon933 Місяць тому +9

      literal child abuse, that "mom" is a literal enabler of abuse

  • @starcherry6814
    @starcherry6814 5 місяців тому +1285

    Being a daughter is a thankless job
    Our parents talk about of crap about us and yet we still are the first to take care of them when they get old

    • @rosannarichardson7951
      @rosannarichardson7951 4 місяці тому +135

      Parents better ask my brother. I’m saying no. I have no kids so it’s nursing home for me too. Sucks these parents think their retirement plan is their kids. Should’ve figured it out better and it’s not my fault.

    • @starcherry6814
      @starcherry6814 4 місяці тому +18

      This comment section is about to turn into a bunch of people trauma dumping their mommy problems
      Just know the world doesn't need to know your business. Talk to someone that loves you. Heal.
      I'm muting this thread.

    • @azureavocado5195
      @azureavocado5195 4 місяці тому +42

      Lmao jokes on them.
      I’m not caring for any goddamnbody- especially when they treated me like shitt my entire damn life.
      Foh
      Get the golden son to do it 🙃

    • @avourrito1819
      @avourrito1819 4 місяці тому +4

      My mom took care of her mom at old age with type 2 diabetes in which we help her go to dialysis and other health stuff, that's good, that's nice.
      It's also unsettling to see how my mom chooses to work instead of spending more time at home because she has ingrained the idea that time spent not making money is not worth the time so I'm stuck with my grandma that was lonely because we don't know how to converse with eachother. She spends her time napping, eating, facetime her granddaughter from home. I see how lonely that is, my mom is not even always home for her own mom.
      I don't want to take care of my mom when she's old and I have a secret card for that and that is being bisexual. I'm more inclined to being disowned to avoid her. I don't want her to still think of me as her retirement plan when having a "gay child" is as shameful as it is a sin

    • @berrymint6384
      @berrymint6384 4 місяці тому +14

      No one should nurture a toxic being no matter if they are related or not
      It is even worse if someone who SHOULD PROTECTS YOU betrays you

  • @brookew2403
    @brookew2403 5 місяців тому +1911

    When I was pregnant with my second daughter I got so hateful comments. Multiple women told me they felt sorry for me and girls are too much drama 🤦🏾‍♀️. The saddest part is they would say these things in front of my 2 year old daughter. People would apologize to my husband. Everyone assumed we would keep trying for a boy. Nobody could fathom that we don’t care about gender.

    • @theresa.m.
      @theresa.m. 5 місяців тому +363

      Same! I have 4 daughters and 1 son, my son is in the middle. After I had him and was pregnant again, people kept asking, “why do you need more? You have your boy.” Every time we are out in public, people look at him, and say “I feel sorry for you.” It’s happened so many times! Like why? My son LOVES his sisters. Yes, it would be nice if he had a brother, it his sisters love to play trucks with him and take him to see action movies. They are so good to him. I just don’t get it.

    • @rob-tt3hb
      @rob-tt3hb 5 місяців тому +330

      I'm a cashier, and these two elderly women were talking about their daughters pregnancy, one of the women said "I hope she has a son SHE DESERVES IT" implying in a way that having a daughter was a punishment. Later on I would find out that yes. Some people do see having a son as a "blessing" and a daughter as a punishment.

    • @brookew2403
      @brookew2403 5 місяців тому +191

      @@rob-tt3hb my mother in law is like this! She threw a tantrum over me stopping at 2 kids. She said I was going against God by not having a son. She is an unhinged boy who desperately wants to be promoted to boy grandma. She’s been cut off.

    • @brookew2403
      @brookew2403 5 місяців тому +108

      @@theresa.m. aww your family sounds beautiful. I honestly didn’t have any preference before I had kids. After seeing so many women struggle with infertility, I was just grateful I could be pregnant. People still ask in front of my kids if I want a boy. My oldest always jumps in and says “mama said her kitchen is closed!”

    • @jahminastephens8026
      @jahminastephens8026 5 місяців тому +20

      I experienced much of the same. It’s sad

  • @momplspickmeupimscared
    @momplspickmeupimscared 4 місяці тому +108

    My dad is a proud girl dad of 4 girls and he loves us so dearly. He always answer the question "ugh how is it being the only man in a household of 5 women?" With:"one daughter alone is worth 5 sons. I could've never asked for anything else in life". I'm happy that my mom was always so supportive of us and hated the notion that her brothers got treated better than her and her sisters and that my dad always taught us to never compromise ourselves for anyone, especially men, because we deserve to be loud, take space and take lead. Gosh I never knew how much i took this for granted until watching this video, really makes you think, yk?

  • @IWasFirst
    @IWasFirst 4 місяці тому +62

    My father always said he never wanted sons. He had three daughters and went to all our events. He was cheering at all the soccer games, plays,choir concerts, and even dressed in a tutu to dance with me for my ballet recital when I was five.

  • @tayhard4032
    @tayhard4032 5 місяців тому +1313

    I heard a quote “boys are not easy raise, they are easy to neglect”. I believe this because my mama allowed my brother to run rampant. Before he went to prison, he either stayed with her or lived with a woman. He has never had his own. She called him her husband (always weird to me) and use to insert herself in his relationships. I see she is trying that with my son. She gets jealous when he shows affection to other women besides her. she told my son “she don’t love you like me” talking about me. She said it is a joke, i said well I don’t joke like that. I cleared her up real quick. Baby my son is not going to be like one of these podcast men.

    • @yageshabazz3456
      @yageshabazz3456 5 місяців тому +182

      Thank you for sharing that! The emotional incest boy moms display toward their son needs to be talked about more. It is mad weird how some women will go around acting as if their son is their man.

    • @sabrinaswinconeck
      @sabrinaswinconeck 5 місяців тому +52

      My mom always did to my son too ong she was like don’t yell at him your too harsh if my daughter spoke and rightfully she’s always respectful that’s she she’s like oh you need to come down on her raise her right she can’t be talking like that and if I dare yell at him for being disrespectful she would get upset no maam hu uh not with me I’m not raising no golden son and I went through a lot to have my son and my daughter was easier I’d rather raise my daughter lol but I’m harder on him bc I want him to be better I second you on the not those podcast men nope not while I can still teach values and talked to him about treating his future gf or wife better and not expect her to be his maid or mother he needs to learn to be helpful and kind and share the responsibilities too just like he sees me do it he should too we all do chores in this house no one sits there nope here

    • @tayhard4032
      @tayhard4032 5 місяців тому +39

      @@yageshabazz3456 you're welcome. Emotional incest the word I was lookng for. I tell myself I will not raise my son like my mama did my brother. He is my son, my husband, not the man of the house, not my man.

    • @shelby6
      @shelby6 4 місяці тому +16

      ​@@sabrinaswinconeck I get you're harder on your son but make sure you're not making it obvious which it probably already is. You don't want to accidentally create this resentment towards women in him as he would see you being harder on him and not his sister. Honestly be hard on them both equally but further push positive ideals towards him.

    • @miyangtangwan7046
      @miyangtangwan7046 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@shelby6Actually, if she is harder in her son, it would make him realize that the world would be tougher on him than on his sister, and more is expected of him. And his sister would respect him more for the trials he has to endure on his journey to manhood. For instance, Britney Spears said her dad was more strict with her brother than with her. She ended up very close to her brother and respectful of him as they grew up. He was also very protective of her.

  • @Mossymoss69
    @Mossymoss69 5 місяців тому +1665

    My mom was a toxic boy mom, my brother used to hit me and throw tantrums when he didn’t get what he wanted, she would barely punish him and would just tell me to “walk it off”. I remember once in middle school, my bus didn’t show up to take me to school. I was scared, I called my mom and she refused to pick me up because she was getting my brother McDonald’s for breakfast. I had to walk to school. The cherry on top is that I got a tardy for showing up to school late.

    • @ily279
      @ily279 5 місяців тому +226

      i felt girl 😢my mom favors my brother so much more than me. anytime he was rude to me she would tell me to lighten up and get a sense of humor but whenever i did it to him she called me rude

    • @FunFactswithAmani
      @FunFactswithAmani 5 місяців тому +117

      @@ily279you should ask her why your rude for doing the same thing he does.

    • @misshoneei63
      @misshoneei63 5 місяців тому +83

      I felt this, I was the only child for years, as soon as she had a son by the man she always wanted I no longer mattered. Now she does him the same way, he's too smart for her own good.

    • @Caribbeannking1011
      @Caribbeannking1011 5 місяців тому +132

      I am disgusted by mothers like this! My grandmother always wanted to have daughters lol, but instead got three sons and three grandsons. She loves us all though, but now she has a granddaughter and she loves her to death and she’s so special to her. Seeing how happy my grandmother was when she find out she was going to have a granddaughter was so amazing for me. She’s never seen any of her daughter in laws as competition. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It sucks when your treated worse than your siblings. It’s okay to be upset about it. I’m hoping you can heal

    • @blair9607
      @blair9607 5 місяців тому +61

      @@misshoneei63exactly same happened to me ! My mum had just me then my brother when I was 14! And he’s so badly behaved but she loved it 🤷‍♀️ I know have a daughter and I’m one and done and she is my life force , this girl is getting every part of my heart and she deserves it ! Can’t wait to see this powerful little lady become a empowered woman :)

  • @PhotoSynthesis-uj8og
    @PhotoSynthesis-uj8og 2 місяці тому +22

    I know a mom that just gave birth to boy/girl twins this past January. Every time I see her she fusses over her baby boy and says how happy she is to have a son. Literally every 2 seconds she picks him up, kisses him, and talks in a baby voice telling him how much she loves him. The sad thing is however, is that she barely says 2 words about her daughter or says that she loves her. When I ask about her daughter she’s like “oh yeah she’s doing great” and that’s it meanwhile with her son it’s like “omg he’s the cutest, sweetest thing.” She also gets annoyed when her daughter starts crying but when it’s her son she drops everything and is more than happy to give him what he needs. I feel so bad for her poor little girl and I hope that she grows up feeling loved. The blatant favouritism is very concerning.

  • @mars_mayday
    @mars_mayday 4 місяці тому +56

    I always get annoyed whenever anyone finds out I'm a youngest sibling and they say "oh, you must be the spoiled one!" Like no, I'm Latina and I have an older brother, it works completely different for us. My older sister and I were basically taught to be his mom.

    • @thagrandpubah
      @thagrandpubah 2 місяці тому +1

      As you should!

    • @Maui_Gyrl_
      @Maui_Gyrl_ Місяць тому +5

      That's so sad and ridiculous! I never heard of this before.

    • @Maui_Gyrl_
      @Maui_Gyrl_ Місяць тому +9

      ​@@thagrandpubah No. She should should not have had to care for an older brother.

  • @melissamilam-hw9dt
    @melissamilam-hw9dt 4 місяці тому +1022

    My parents had planned 6 children, no gender requirements. They ended up with 4 due to medical issues. The first two were boys. Back then the birthday was the gender reveal and dads weren't allowed in the delivery room. The boys were both bald. I was the third. I was not bald. My father peaked theough a window to the delivery room. My aunt told me that he peaked through the window and saw my hair and started flapping his hands and crying and singing
    "I got a girl, I got a girl,
    I got a girl"!
    I was wanted.

    • @hammysan2090
      @hammysan2090 4 місяці тому +158

      Aw that's so sweet. My dad told me the same story. He was so happy seeing the fluff of hair on my baby head and was super giddy knowing he has a daughter. I am also fortunate to have a loving momma who loved me, my older brother and youngest sister equally without any preference or discrimination.

    • @dressagegirlkae
      @dressagegirlkae 2 місяці тому +12

      I love this!

    • @JK-gi3ew
      @JK-gi3ew 2 місяці тому +16

      That's sweet. When I was born, my dad was upset that I was a girl. He said, we're losing the game.

    • @melissamilam-hw9dt
      @melissamilam-hw9dt 2 місяці тому +12

      @@JK-gi3ew I'm so sorry.

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 Місяць тому +3

      ​@@JK-gi3ew I am very sorry because my father has actually been a girl dad for both me and my sister, so I was lucky.

  • @Zipporah_Bee
    @Zipporah_Bee 5 місяців тому +2859

    Internalized misogyny in a patriarchal society🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @cocolove9916
      @cocolove9916 5 місяців тому +124

      It really is, even when they aren’t a boy mom and they only have daughters it’s way worse 😢 everything you do is analyzed and picked apart. (Based on my personal experiences ) unfortunately..

    • @to_ur_heart
      @to_ur_heart 5 місяців тому +3

      As sad as it is…

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 5 місяців тому +111

      Which is sad, because women are supposed to be more protective of girls, since they know what it felt like to be a girl themselves...🙄
      I am worried that male predators will try to sexually attack them (boys, men, sometimes their fathers).😢
      And sons have their fathers as a role model anyway, despite not always have a good relationship.

    • @heinzelmadchen7896
      @heinzelmadchen7896 5 місяців тому

      We don't live in a patriarchy in the western world.

    • @elisa-beary
      @elisa-beary 5 місяців тому +12

      This a great point.

  • @sarahgibbons6152
    @sarahgibbons6152 4 місяці тому +78

    As a girlfriend of a man whose mother is a “boy mom” I can say it’s extremely degrading. Their inability to follow basic boundaries is honestly gross. …like are you trying to date your son?

    • @user-gf2mg3vn7t
      @user-gf2mg3vn7t 4 місяці тому +15

      do you think you should break up with him

    • @Armelleee
      @Armelleee 3 місяці тому +9

      Leave him if he cant put her in check.

    • @KaileyB616
      @KaileyB616 2 місяці тому +6

      Girl run, it's not worth it and it's only going to get worse!! Imagine if you have kids with him!!

    • @MJDahl
      @MJDahl 17 днів тому +1

      Girl I was w someone like that and as much as you wanna feel sympathy for them these moms are usually the ring leaders of their families so it can be a slippery slope. Tread lightly and stand your ground🤍

  • @valentina-ep3wu
    @valentina-ep3wu 2 місяці тому +28

    My grandmother is a hardcore toxic boy mom. My mom is 50 years old but whenever I look at her I keep seeing that little girl who was hurt by her own mother so many times just because she was a daughter, not a son. This breaks my heart because my mom worked so hard on making me and my brother to feel loved equally. Thanks to my parents, my brother and I grow up to be best friends and we have a very healthy communication. On the other hand, I hate my grandmother for what she did to my mom. She raised a over priviliged, spoilt man child, and left a heart broken daughter to raise herself. My grandmother is a monster

  • @ordinaryperson1808
    @ordinaryperson1808 4 місяці тому +1740

    My sister dated a guy whose mother was your typical toxic boy mom. All was good until my sister and her boyfriend got engaged and moved in together and the mom became unbearable. Any time my sister and her bf planned on going out for the night the mom would call and say that she needed her son to come over for an “emergency,” which was usually just an excuse to have her son come over to the house for nothing so she would have him all to herself. Boy mom would also text my sister multiple times a day and ask her questions like “did you pack him his favorite lunch?” “Did he shower today?” “Make sure he takes his vitamins.” Also, every time she visited the apartment she would complain about how my sister didn’t clean this or that properly or that she didn’t like how the apartment was decorated.
    She also made several comments to my sister about her appearance and the way she dressed, and if my sister and her boyfriend were going clothes shopping, she would insist on coming with so she could pick out her adult baby boy’s clothes. Because of the way my sisters boyfriend was spoiled by his mother, he often acted like a narcissistic, entitled man child and always make up excuses for his mothers behavior and compare my sister to his mother. The final straw was when my sister was really sick with pneumonia and her boyfriend demanded that she make him dinner, despite being really sick and not in the shape to do it. He had a complete meltdown because my sister wouldn’t cook for him when she was basically bedridden and of course he ended up calling his mom, who rushed over and berated my sister for not taking care of her precious baby boy. I am so glad my sister broke free of that extremely toxic relationship, and these mothers really damage their sons by treating them this way as they will be entitled little boys for the rest of their lives that will always need a woman to take care of them because they were too coddled to be independent.
    Not to mention, they also emotionally traumatize their daughters as shown in this video and make their daughter in laws lives a living hell.

    • @vaska1999
      @vaska1999 4 місяці тому +192

      Your sister really dodged a bullet there. That bout of pneumonia actually saved her! The moral of her experience is to leave such a man long before he dares demand you cook him a meal when you're ill.

    • @easyveganfoodie
      @easyveganfoodie 4 місяці тому +65

      This is horrific!! I remember one of the times I truly appreciated my partner was when I was still living at home with my mom and was very sick and stayed home from work, he made me soup and brought it to me even though my mom was home and was helping me with stuff I needed. But going that extra mile even he didn’t even live with me was what made me realize the things he would do when we did live together. I actually enjoy cooking so I’ll cook 90% of the time but I don’t have to worry about what will happen if I’m not feeling well. I can’t even imagine the audacity of someone demanding their partner to cook when they have pneumonia.
      One of the reasons my partner is like this though is because my MIL worked full time and didn’t have as much time to pamper him, he had to learn to be self sufficient. Making his own sandwich, washing his own clothes. Hes also an only child. On the other hand, I have an older brother but me being the daughter has the responsibility in my home to do these things when my mom wasn’t around. Now my grown adult brother doesn’t know basic skills and I feel really bad for whoever ends up with him.

    • @vulcanhumor
      @vulcanhumor 4 місяці тому +33

      That's awful. My partner's mother is like this (she's gotten better, but there are still some weird things) but at least he recognized that she was being intrusive and disrespectful (or just kinda weird) and learned to create stronger boundaries with her. He straight up told me at one point that he thought his mother felt threatened by me, and I definitely got the vibe from her that she thought I was some wicked harlot stealing her precious baby boy. When we first started dating, she'd call him while we were out. Not about anything important, just wanted to check in on him, ask what he was doing and when he'd be home. She knew he was on a date. He was still living with her at the time, but was a young adult and should have been allowed the autonomy and privacy that comes with that. He started ignoring her calls during dates and she eventually got the message. After we'd been together for almost a couple of years and had started living together, she started saying things to him about how "sometimes girls will get pregnant to trap a man" and even low-key suggested he start seeing the daughter of a friend of hers. Again, WE'D BEEN TOGETHER ABOUT TWO YEARS AND WERE COHABITATING when she suggested this. There's lots of other stuff she's said and done, but I'm grateful that things are at least improving and that my partner has learned to be more firm with his mom.

    • @anaaguilar3304
      @anaaguilar3304 4 місяці тому +17

      I'll be honest, I couldn't read your entire comment because it was that angering.
      Unless they move away , the relationship will not work. She is selfish for doing this to your sister, but imo it's even more selfish doing this to her son , the person you're supposed to love the most in the world because he will never find true happiness in a relationship.

    • @althealee9375
      @althealee9375 4 місяці тому +7

      If my parents were texting my husband things like asking if he packed my favorite lunch and make sure I take my vitamins, I’d be texting them telling them to leave him alone and come to ME with their concerns about ME. Like “mom, I’ve been packing my own lunch since I was eight, calm down”

  • @spitefuleternity
    @spitefuleternity 4 місяці тому +790

    it genuinely fascinates me that boy moms are very protective over their sons to an almost incestuous degree... if freud was still alive he'd have a field day with boy moms

    • @wyvern938
      @wyvern938 4 місяці тому

      freud was a sexist piece of shit. Just so y'all know.

    • @hayleyelizabeth7895
      @hayleyelizabeth7895 4 місяці тому +41

      I’d pay to hear that lecture for sure😂

    • @mabintykoroma6614
      @mabintykoroma6614 3 місяці тому +11

      stopp youre so right for that 💀💀

    • @andpeg
      @andpeg 3 місяці тому +22

      Pretty sure Freud had a boy mom and that’s where his theories came from 😅

    • @averykitsch
      @averykitsch 3 місяці тому +11

      His mom was a boy mom... he already KNEW 👀😂

  • @Canahoney
    @Canahoney 2 місяці тому +25

    I have three boys. I hate being called a "boy mom." No I'm a mom who has boys. I wanted a girl for so many different reasons. But I'm raising my son's to be men your daughters don't have to fear or heal from. That should be the goal.

  • @ashchickify
    @ashchickify 4 місяці тому +86

    Something my husband and I have talked about is making sure we have a system of checking each other if the other is unknowingly showing preference, different expectations, etc. We're hoping we can raise them equally and that they feel loved equally.

  • @jelatinosa
    @jelatinosa 4 місяці тому +450

    Another thing I've seen is that when parents get older, the daughters are the ones who help and take care of their aging parents, while sons rarely do, and parents make excuses for their sons while expecting sacrifices from their daughters.

    • @wellacoyoteishere185
      @wellacoyoteishere185 4 місяці тому +16

      Something something phone access silent generation Mom has and something something daughters can't successfully move away from parents as well as sons can due to better opportunities for them let alone Silent generation Mom still uses emotional guilt tripping to keep them in the state. Idk as a CNA, it never really felt like family wanted to spend every week serving their parent

    • @th6218
      @th6218 3 місяці тому +14

      Absolutely f*cking true and disgusting. Shame on them 🤮

    • @agnik1031
      @agnik1031 3 місяці тому +28

      Lmao I remember my mom dead ass telling me, her daughter, “I’m glad I have a daughter, because that’s who takes care of parents in their later years”, and pretty much going into a tirade about how much better my brother is than me half a breath later. The lack of self awareness is truly stunning.

    • @ccleavemebe4790
      @ccleavemebe4790 3 місяці тому +4

      @@agnik1031don’t take care of her

    • @dressagegirlkae
      @dressagegirlkae 2 місяці тому +2

      Yeah, my mom is getting this responsibility now because her brother is a deadbeat. While working and raising a family she also took care of all of our aging relatives because her brother was to lazy and her foster brother is disabled. At this points she should be enjoying being grown and single but now she’s taking care of Grandma and the great Uncle because she lives closer to him than his children.

  • @Coolcatmel08
    @Coolcatmel08 5 місяців тому +755

    As a proud girl mom it devestates me when i hear parents arent thrilled they have a daughter. It makes me want to scoop all the bb girls up and give them all the love, snuggles and support they deserve.

    • @PrettyDreadie
      @PrettyDreadie 5 місяців тому +31

      I have 4 straight boys I still hope to have my baby girl one day

    • @dings7301
      @dings7301 4 місяці тому +18

      ​@@PrettyDreadieGood luck! 🥹

    • @PrettyDreadie
      @PrettyDreadie 4 місяці тому +16

      @@dings7301 thank you 😊 someone actually told me they see twin girls in my future sometime this year wonder how accurate they are

    • @Lolee56
      @Lolee56 2 місяці тому +2

      Why can you be a “proud girl mom” and not a “proud boy mom”

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@Lolee56Being a "proud boy mom" is TOO common...😒

  • @luluzin5022
    @luluzin5022 4 місяці тому +89

    Boy mom: you know girls, they have an attitude 🙄
    Son: *shows her the middle finger*
    Boy mom: so cute! I wuv you 🥰

    • @_maealein
      @_maealein 4 місяці тому +19

      This is so freaking true

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 27 днів тому

      Girl dad: You know guys are predatory towards young girlies like you are.
      Daughter: Ignores him
      Girl dad: What a bratty girl, I will teach you how to behave.😈

  • @crystaldavis9442
    @crystaldavis9442 4 місяці тому +194

    I was a 'boy mom' until five years ago when I got the call that my fifth baby would be my long-awaited daughter. I was in the middle of walmart grocery shopping, and I just sat down in the middle of the aisle to cry. I was so happy. I love each of my boys but my second was supposed to be a girl. It wasn't until my 38 week ultrasound that I found out that I was having another boy so when the blood test came back with a definitive girl I was ecstatic. She is my princess and simultaneously tougher than all her brothers put together.

    • @StayHungry999
      @StayHungry999 4 місяці тому +16

      The same thing happened to a neighbor of mine years ago. She found out the week before delivery the "daughter" she fell in love with for months was actually a boy. She said it was almost like losing a child she never had.

    • @lambsauce1468
      @lambsauce1468 4 місяці тому +8

      I must admit I was glad I had a daughter first but then it took 16 years to give her a sister after 3 brothers. The ultrasound said the second boy was a girl and we didn't find out until he was born so I had to explain to a 5 year old that her sister wasn't a sister lol. They're now 16 and 32 and yes the oldest girl still rules the younger brothers as she didn't have any herself just took my sons (they all get on great and live together in one big house) but the younger daughter is completely different and I got a granddaughter out of that son that was supposed to be a sister so it's all good now lol.

  • @rainbowmashpotato
    @rainbowmashpotato 5 місяців тому +1248

    I am the complete opposite… I am actually a bit terrified to have a son, because I would have to do extra work, so he doesn’t end up violent, dependent on drugs and porn, suicidal, homicidal, etc… I know these can affect women too, but men are still more prevalent in the statistics of abuse, sexual assault and other horrible stuff. Also a lot more men isolate themselves to the point of insanity.

    • @LB-uo7xy
      @LB-uo7xy 5 місяців тому +168

      True. Thank you for pointing this out among the other commenters.

    • @WellBeing999
      @WellBeing999 5 місяців тому +294

      Exactly. Statistically it’s harder to raise a functional adult male, but you can’t tell boy moms anything about their “precious” 🙄

    • @rocky_mochiii
      @rocky_mochiii 5 місяців тому +125

      Same I wouldn’t know how to raise a boy. my grandma told me girls are easier just expensive when they get older 😂😂

    • @pinkturtle2016
      @pinkturtle2016 5 місяців тому +20

      Exactly

    • @no_peace
      @no_peace 5 місяців тому +138

      They are literally dangerous if anything goes wrong

  • @Brittanysplittany
    @Brittanysplittany 4 місяці тому +705

    Fun fact: Oedipus actually doesn’t really relate to the principle named after him. In the story, it was prophesied that he would marry his mother, and in an attempt to prevent this, his parents had someone else raise him far away. Oedipus never knew his biological parents. Sure enough, in adulthood there was an incident where he accidentally killed his biological dad in an accident, and later ended up falling for his wife (which neither of them knew was his mom). After they had married, it was revealed that the prophesy had come true, and his mom hanged herself and Oedipus gouged out his eyes in shame. So it’s really quite different!

    • @planetperth
      @planetperth 4 місяці тому +96

      Thank you! It bugs me just a little bit that people will reference Oedipus but not actually know the story

    • @kathyharris1627
      @kathyharris1627 4 місяці тому +70

      Actually it wasn't an accident. They got into a fight over an incident on the road but he intentionally killed his father (who he didn't know was his father). Basically an extreme road rage incident.

    • @SnakeKillsDumbledorf
      @SnakeKillsDumbledorf 4 місяці тому +92

      @@kathyharris1627 yes the point of the story isn't that Oedipus had some secret desire for his mom. it's that he had serious character flaws: impulsiveness, hotheadedness, and arrogance. He was arrogant to think he was clever enough to defy the gods and avoid his fate when his fate was determined by his own character flaws. The only way for him to have avoided his fate would be to work on his flaws and think carefully before acting (e.g. don't fly into a rage and murder anyone, don't marry with an age gap) but he was too arrogant and impulsive to see that as necessary.
      The point was it's useless to defy your fate because your fate wouldn't be your fate if you weren't who you are.

    • @mars_mayday
      @mars_mayday 4 місяці тому +29

      @@SnakeKillsDumbledorf "Our fate wouldn't be your fate if you weren't who you are." Thanks, I'm going to be thinking about that for the rest of my life 😭

    • @misslori9725
      @misslori9725 3 місяці тому +4

      TELL 'EM!!! Also, look up the story of Antigone, which tells the fate of Oedipus's children

  • @beegee80
    @beegee80 4 місяці тому +37

    That one woman with the 3 daughters and 1 son---I hope none of them talk to her in her old age. Seriously.

  • @Raven.Sunflower
    @Raven.Sunflower 4 місяці тому +45

    I often heard women expressing a preference for not wanting a girl and it needs to stop. At my workplace, a dad brought his five daughters, ranging from 1 to 13 years old. When a former coworker asked if he wished for a son and, he simply responded no, and that he loves his daughters completely 🌷. This coworker continued to loudly announce how she possibly couldn’t ever have a girl. Although that coworker doesn't work with me anymore, I heard she has a baby girl now. I hope her heart has changed, and I pray for her daughter. 🙏🏾
    I'm thankful for my two wonderful boys who are such blessings! Regardless of whether God blesses me with a girl or another boy, my heart will be filled with joy! 🌷

    • @Lolee56
      @Lolee56 2 місяці тому

      People express a preference of not wanting boys either so what’s the difference

    • @Raven.Sunflower
      @Raven.Sunflower 2 місяці тому +4

      @@Lolee56 Yes, we’re aware they do. I'm not sure why you're mentioning this. As far as I can recall, this video specifically focused on how some mothers have an unhealthy preference for boys over girls, which isn't good either way.

    • @tiredoftheworld4834
      @tiredoftheworld4834 2 місяці тому

      @@Lolee56 bruh!!! If you research human history you’ll find this obsession with having boys, how girls are - and still to this day - selectively deleted… my own mom keeps lamenting over how my sister and I aren’t boys. Can’t gaslight us hun

    • @tiredoftheworld4834
      @tiredoftheworld4834 2 місяці тому

      @@Lolee56misogyny is more dangerous and interwoven in our society than having a preference for girls. Personally I just KNOW based on statistics and my own observations that having a girl is easier if you’re a woman. We are her reflection. A man can teach a boy to be a man. A woman can teach a girl to be a woman. A girl needs a good father and a boy needs a good mother but they can’t teach you how to walk in womanhood or manhood the best way they can.

    • @jocelyntrishell
      @jocelyntrishell Місяць тому +1

      Yeah, I mentioned to my friends how I’ve always wanted a girl and they were so against the idea. Made me sad. I’m like “y’all are girls, what do you think of yourselves?” I’m guessing they had hard relationships with their moms. I’ve got a boy and I was so nervous at first bc what do I do with a boy haha, but we have lots of fun!

  • @DyaOrWhateva
    @DyaOrWhateva 5 місяців тому +1352

    okay, but i was the most docile, boot-licking, children-raising (I raised all my siblings, even the older ones) teenager but my mom was still extra mean to me. I never rebelled a day in my life but I was still the my mom's literal (and not) punching bag. We did talk it out when I reached adulthood but it still hurts looking back
    this video really hit me in the face. it's a lot of black girls going through this. But now look at who's their pride VS who's their problem and still living at home and heavily dependent on them though they're 4+ years older than me? Take a wild guess

    • @zero1188
      @zero1188 5 місяців тому +126

      Mothers see daughters as competition

    • @DyaOrWhateva
      @DyaOrWhateva 5 місяців тому +162

      @@zero1188 Imagine competing against someone who lives for your validation

    • @neoxochitl
      @neoxochitl 5 місяців тому +82

      Same situation exactly for me except I’m Mexican. Basically raised my siblings, went to their parent teacher conferences, helped with homework, made lunches for them etc my mom treated me also like a servant and always tore me down. I wasn’t even able to go out even as an elder teen but my younger brother who is 8 years younger could.
      I’m glad you and your mom worked it out it seems? We haven’t and I went no contact.

    • @jahminastephens8026
      @jahminastephens8026 5 місяців тому +12

      Your story and mine are one in the same

    • @jahminastephens8026
      @jahminastephens8026 5 місяців тому +5

      @@DyaOrWhatevaomg me with my mother 😭. This is a most painful experience

  • @porshamills4259
    @porshamills4259 5 місяців тому +514

    I unknowingly married an extreme mama's boy. I was treated very well by both when dating. A week after the honeymoon she came to our house when I was out and pushed my belongings into closets. Despite my standing up for myself, It only got worse. Her wishes were the priority and he allowed her to change or make plans without asking me. I was blamed for not loving her enough. The verbal abuse began to very gradually turn into physical abuse that mostly were fights about her. Towards the end of the marriage he said even if we moved he would make sure she would live with us - no escaping her.
    Therapy didn't work, and I left him.....but, that witch successfully ruined my marriage. I often wondered if her adoration of him had ever been SA.🤮. Her husband was a successful engineering nerd that ignored her and I'm sure now she felt married to my husband. She groomed him since birth.

    • @misshoneei63
      @misshoneei63 5 місяців тому +1

      I've heard horror stories about those types of women, being their son's first "french kiss" and they teach them how to pleasure girls and themselves. It's so weird.

    • @evaphillips2102
      @evaphillips2102 5 місяців тому +88

      Yikes 😬

    • @terranbishop5549
      @terranbishop5549 5 місяців тому +105

      He will never have a happy married life as long as she is around.

    • @iamdisgusted
      @iamdisgusted 5 місяців тому

      ​@@terranbishop5549 for sure, no woman in her right mind is going for that.

    • @squarebear619
      @squarebear619 4 місяці тому +81

      Nah, HE ruined your marriage. He chose to do all of that. He'll end up alone and embittered once she finally kicks the bucket. 🥴

  • @gasweetie83
    @gasweetie83 4 місяці тому +32

    My older sister was essentially our mother figure. She cooked for us, mostly but our mom just never gave us attention. When she got off, she’d go in her room and shut and lock the door. In a house full of girls, our brother had no male guidance, so he flocked to any guys in our neighborhood, make friends with them, and spent all his time at their houses. I could honestly say our mom played no favorites and she ignored us equally.

    • @virgosbonnet7896
      @virgosbonnet7896 Місяць тому

      And that’s because your father wasn’t around. My sister did huge exact same with her 3 daughters. She only paid attention to them when their dads were around but once they all left her she checked out like your mom did. I was 16 a Jr. in HS caring for her 10 year old daughter physically,emotionally and financially. My niece does not speak to her mother to this day.

  • @tosh.m.k
    @tosh.m.k 4 місяці тому +22

    I have two older brothers. I was far more critizised than them, had to learn more about household chores and had more expectations put on my shoulders.

  • @drawn_by_starla9462
    @drawn_by_starla9462 5 місяців тому +602

    I am 100% a mommy's girl. I'm 20 years old and still call her mommy and hold her hand everywhere we go. Even in my "rebellious" teenage years where I was going through severe mental health problems and having meltdowns on a near daily basis, my mom always listened to me and treated me with love and empathy. She's the reason I'm still alive, and for the rest of our lives I will always make sure she has a roof over her head, food in her stomach, and a warm bed to sleep in. It's so heartbreaking to see mothers hating their daughters like this and the overall disregard that society seems to have for mother/daughter relationships. Fingers crossed that I have a baby girl someday, although if I had a son I'd love him just as much ❤

    • @absolutelyridiculous6743
      @absolutelyridiculous6743 5 місяців тому +54

      Awww!! I'm 36 years old, and I still call my mom "mommy", too. I'm a woman with two kids of my own. There's nothing like the bond we have with our mothers.

    • @Greeneyedgeny7
      @Greeneyedgeny7 5 місяців тому +31

      Same! I love my mom sm ❤️🥹

    • @keyahninaylor4974
      @keyahninaylor4974 5 місяців тому +20

      Same with my mom❤

    • @winniethepooht5776
      @winniethepooht5776 4 місяці тому +24

      Girl, you spoke to my heart. I'm turning 20 in February and I'm still a mommy's girl. I still call her mommy. I hug her and lay on her daily for comfort, nothing feels better than when my mom scratches my back and rub my head. We're like besties, we talk about everything. She'll come into the door and go, "Girlll, I got something to tell you. Get me some ice water while I change and I'll tell you everything!" Even through my teen years where I dealt with really bad hormone imbalances and I mouthed off saying things I shouldn't say, she's stuck by my side the whole time. My mother has always loved me and has told me she would've been happy with a boy, but she really wanted a girl and already knew I was her "little Winter" before they officially knew. I'm so blessed, but feel terrible for all the little girls that get neglected and watch their brothers put on a pedestal. To all of my girls who went through that, I just want to give you all a hug and tell you how valuable you are. You are an asset to this world. And for those who want to become mothers themselves or who are mothers, remember you don't have to be your mother. You can break the cycle and do it better. Virtual hug for every one of your girlies🫂🫂🫂

    • @emj1766
      @emj1766 4 місяці тому +7

      Whatever you have, that child will be very lucky to have you as their mom. 🥲💗

  • @NJB908
    @NJB908 5 місяців тому +560

    And as a black daughter, I am trying hard to not repeat these same patterns with my own. It is so deeply rooted and engrained in every fiber of our relationships. It’s tough.

    • @janisemills1
      @janisemills1 5 місяців тому +40

      Love your daughter no matter what! Even if she makes mistakes and show her you don’t judge her. A lot of woman judge and shame their daughter more than sons. Let her know you are a safe place for her and you won’t judge her. Woman are more emotional too so ask her all the time how she feels. Even if it looks silly just let her know her feelings/emotions matter and are a priority to you.

    • @janisemills1
      @janisemills1 5 місяців тому +47

      Also don’t look at your daughter as a woman look at her as a baby girl who needs guidance and patience.

    • @janisemills1
      @janisemills1 5 місяців тому +49

      Also DON’T look at your daughter like she is your competition. She is not and never will be. Treat her like you two are on the same team you want her to actually do better than you!

    • @anonnnymousthegreat
      @anonnnymousthegreat 5 місяців тому +13

      For context:
      Both my mother and father are blk.
      I have 3 siblings. An older brother and younger sister on my mom’s side of the family.
      I have a younger brother on my dad’s side of the family.
      As a blk daughter, my mom never was a boy mom and my brother was the oldest while i am the middle and our sister is the youngest. My mom raised my brother take on role of protector and provider because she seen that’s what leaders of a household are supposed to do. And she raised my sister and i to be independent and wise to not rely on anyone unless they are deserving of it. So essentially she treated us all equally in different ways. She also treated any bfs/gfs as if they were one of her own kids as well if we brought them to meet her. Because i assume she seen if they became a son/daughter in law, she would’ve gained another child to have in her life. So my mom was pretty much all around reasonable and understanding.
      My father is a girl dad and boy dad simultaneously. And he has raised both my younger brother and i the same way as my mother treated my older brother, younger sister and i.
      But to add to this, both my parents served in the military and my father was a police officer. So idk if that also played a role in their parenting styles and how they raised my siblings and i.

    • @tiredoftheworld4834
      @tiredoftheworld4834 4 місяці тому +8

      Yup we are conditioned to worship our counterparts so hard yet they can hate us and it’s “fine”

  • @kytoes
    @kytoes 4 місяці тому +50

    my mom hated me so much as a young girl, I still cry thinking about how much she hated me. She was willing to take in my dads older son that wasn't her own and treat him better than me, even after he hurt me and her.

    • @mewmew7926
      @mewmew7926 Місяць тому +1

      It's good that you realize what an injustice this is- you will always deserve the absolute very best life 💞💞

    • @Maui_Gyrl_
      @Maui_Gyrl_ Місяць тому

      Oh nooooo😢 I'm so sorry you had to feel that and your mom treated you that waym

  • @crennastark9027
    @crennastark9027 3 місяці тому +16

    I wanna talk about the pick me girl to boy mom to monster in law pipeline

  • @Tellehahsghsbbs
    @Tellehahsghsbbs 5 місяців тому +445

    I’m a mum to a boy and boy mums absolutely terrify and horrify me. Like it’s so weird how they treat their sons, they’re set up for failure

    • @notyet2345
      @notyet2345 5 місяців тому

      I think it's called emotional incest.

    • @WellBeing999
      @WellBeing999 5 місяців тому

      Boy moms produce toxic males. They are the source.

    • @jellyrolly
      @jellyrolly 5 місяців тому +52

      and they will wonder why their sons' girlfriends break up with them or their wives divorce them 😂

    • @sabrinaswinconeck
      @sabrinaswinconeck 5 місяців тому +15

      Yaaas same here my son will be 13 soon I have a 9 year old daughter people were congratulating me when they heard I was having my son and when I announced I was having a girl later on people weren’t nice about they were sorry or say I’ll be sorry it’s so hard
      Honestly I find myself correcting my son all the time than my daughter had behavioral issues at school when you get my daughter never got into real trouble we have the same rules for everyone in the house
      No one is better than the other everyone does the same chores in the house cooking cleaning laundry trash shovel snow clean the car same stuff
      I get told how I’m over bearing for my daughter but not with my son ? Yeah I learned to ignore that of my son demanded I do things for him I remind him I’m why and there is a nicer way to ask someone
      Same ring goes for his sister I’m not raising no golden child syndrome here ! Yes I love both my kids and yes they both get treated the same if she demands I do something for her I say the same thing lol why should I and why can’t she ask nicely not demand

  • @froylangarcia1303
    @froylangarcia1303 5 місяців тому +600

    Can we also talk about the woman who sees having a daughter as a "mini me" or "best friend" they think having a daughter is all going to target with mom and drinking Starbucks or just as an accessory to dress up

    • @kidforeverplz
      @kidforeverplz 5 місяців тому +2

      This is usually the same type of person to be a boy mom. They like little girls when they’re babies because they’re completely dependent and don’t have their own opinions yet.

    • @angelamaryquitecontrary4609
      @angelamaryquitecontrary4609 5 місяців тому +139

      Or those ghastly women who put their poor little girls into the 'pageant system'. As a British person, I consider it a form of abuse, and I really hope it doesn't catch on here.

    • @yageshabazz3456
      @yageshabazz3456 5 місяців тому +108

      I feel that should be a separate topic because it isn’t as egregious as mothers despising their daughters yet treating their sons as kings

    • @janisemills1
      @janisemills1 5 місяців тому +74

      I see nothing wrong with this at least they want to have a relationship with their daughters. I would take this over being resented.

    • @kaarentamm6423
      @kaarentamm6423 5 місяців тому +36

      @@janisemills1 exactly. we go out for coffee and donuts and i drink the coffee and she gets the donut and we are both happy. i love her. this was life for generations anyways. our parents ahd active social lives and kdis just tagged along.

  • @Notesghcl
    @Notesghcl 4 місяці тому +9

    I miss when "boy mom " meant a mother of boys 😔

  • @Gabreya
    @Gabreya 20 днів тому +5

    Let’s face it. What these types of so-called “mothers” are doing against their sons is straight up inappropriate, incestuous, and disgusting. and the way they treat their daughters is atrocious and horrible.

  • @bublisbroadcast5210
    @bublisbroadcast5210 5 місяців тому +544

    I can’t get the whole boy mom deal. I have a boy, wouldn’t trade him for the world, still can’t get it. We just hope to raise a good person who will respect those around him and cherish whoever he chooses to spend his life with.
    Your son is your son. He’s not an emotional replacement for a grown adult partner. The goal is to raise a decent human being who’s suppose to be a better person than you are. Really that goes for children in general.

    • @PrettyDreadie
      @PrettyDreadie 5 місяців тому +34

      💯 exactly I’m a mom to four boys and I really just care about raising them to be great God fearing men and good citizens of this country

    • @xletragedyx
      @xletragedyx 5 місяців тому +15

      My sister is a boy mom, but just because she is. She had to adjust her life and her expectations to get used to boy things, and had to embrace it to manage her disappointment. She really wants a daughter, but with three boys and work, she's afraid to try again lol. Maybe when the baby is in full time preschool, idk.

    • @maybelikealittlebit
      @maybelikealittlebit 4 місяці тому +5

      And we’re raising children who decide for themselves who they want to be based on the positive and negative experiences they’ve been through/learned about growing up. To expect anything else is just setting everyone up for disappointment!

    • @Diabola_Innocens
      @Diabola_Innocens 4 місяці тому

      Raising a kid to be a better person than you yourself are... 🤔
      That sounds like a "mission impossible"! 😂

    • @bublisbroadcast5210
      @bublisbroadcast5210 4 місяці тому

      @@maybelikealittlebit For me that’s being raised better than I was

  • @darkartsninja
    @darkartsninja 4 місяці тому +414

    As a Latina, the phenomenon of toxic boy moms has been a big problem in our community for centuries. Latine moms have been allowing their boys to get away with near murder while forcing girls to get premature independence. We need to do better, and work towards accountability and dissolution of internalized misogyny.

    • @Elix90
      @Elix90 4 місяці тому +12

      I'm frim Europe, but I'm so glad that the younger generations of Latinx (hope I'm using that right?) are becoming aeare of how damaging the different treatment of sons and daughters become in the long run.

    • @renrose2386
      @renrose2386 4 місяці тому +2

      this is not true

    • @CarolaTesla
      @CarolaTesla 4 місяці тому +33

      ​​@@Elix90Please don't use Latinx, is a word people from the USA pretty much imposed to latin americans, we are latin americans, it's neutral, no need to use that other term. Edit I'm chilean living in Chile. We don't like latinx.

    • @Fuzzmom903
      @Fuzzmom903 4 місяці тому +12

      Pretty common in black community

    • @mikachu3176
      @mikachu3176 3 місяці тому +14

      ​@@Elix90Latina here- you'd want to use "latinos" in that sentence not latinx. The majority of us hate that word :)

  • @Starlight1680
    @Starlight1680 4 місяці тому +13

    30:06 My grandmother has this stance of “well I had to look after my younger siblings when I was a teenager and I turned out just fine” and she also wonders why my mom (her eldest) seems to hate her. Growing up I remember constantly hearing my grandmother criticizing my mom for every little thing and praising my aunts for every achievement. It’s like my mom was nothing but a disappointment to her.

  • @ronniebennet9413
    @ronniebennet9413 3 місяці тому +10

    if we go in with the mindset that “girls are more drama and more difficult, and boys are just easier,” it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

  • @emorylovesbarbie
    @emorylovesbarbie 4 місяці тому +399

    The clip about Kobe always makes me cry. As someone who never felt good enough for their dad, it makes me so emotional to see men so proud of their daughters. He was such a stand-up guy. RIP

    • @KaileyB616
      @KaileyB616 2 місяці тому +11

      Agreed, it actually made me get choked up watching it. It's so tragic what happened to them 😭

    • @virgosbonnet7896
      @virgosbonnet7896 Місяць тому +2

      No he wasn’t. He hated his own kind.

    • @Comrade-V
      @Comrade-V 29 днів тому +3

      wasnt Kobe convicted of r@pe?

  • @LoneWulf278
    @LoneWulf278 5 місяців тому +611

    People stay repeating how “easy” boys are. But the statistics are saying otherwise. Somebody’s lying. 🌚
    Anyway, my mom put my older sister in the position to be the second mom. She was made responsible for taking care of us while my mom worked. Now, my mom resents my sister for her skills at managing us and because of how close we are to her. We listen to her more than we listen to my mom because she’s earned that respect. Mothers really don’t get it. You can’t get mad at your daughters (or your sons) for being what you raised them to be.
    Reminds me of that old documentary about mothers in China who were exhausted and desperate for a daughter-in-law because they had nobody to share the household work with. But they were the same ones who didn’t want daughters. Lol

    • @rosannarichardson7951
      @rosannarichardson7951 4 місяці тому +1

      As if boys can’t do some chores? That’s her own fault

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 4 місяці тому +36

      Sounds like we have the same story...😂😅

    • @LoneWulf278
      @LoneWulf278 4 місяці тому +30

      @@missstranger7697 It’s such a common one. 😭

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 4 місяці тому +13

      ​@@LoneWulf278It really is...😢

    • @Xxblossom-46
      @Xxblossom-46 4 місяці тому +21

      Your mom can
      1. Cry a river
      2. Build a bridge
      3. Get over it
      I get things can be tough but you have a responsibility to your children. Don’t make your eldest a parent

  • @kathyharris1627
    @kathyharris1627 4 місяці тому +9

    You know it's ok to keep your own last name when you get married right?

    • @jennieowss
      @jennieowss 4 місяці тому +2

      not in some cultures

  • @maerichardson5897
    @maerichardson5897 4 місяці тому +19

    My mom prefers my brother to me and treated him way better and she's doing the same to my kids and prefers my son to my daughter and acts surprised that my daughter prefers my husband's family.

  • @LuckyLioness369
    @LuckyLioness369 5 місяців тому +353

    I’ve seen too many friends with moms who doted on their sons and made their daughters feel less than. The moms came down on the girls, but never disciplined the boys, got them out of things, always gave money to them, and played favorites. If the girls need something the mother is nowhere to be found, but if the boys need something the moms give to the point of having nothing left; daughters who have any assets “should help out their brother”. It’s sick. The girls lack self-esteem, spend years in therapy, and have an emptiness that can never be filled. If you’re going to play favorites with your children PLEASE DO NOT HAVE THEM!! Don’t do it with pets either.

    • @WellBeing999
      @WellBeing999 5 місяців тому +20

      Everything you said my mother was guilty of. I’m learning not to take what she did so personally now that I know this is an actual phenomenon. It’s healing ❤️‍🩹

    • @pamelalebona8676
      @pamelalebona8676 5 місяців тому +2

      That is my life and it's not just boy moms it's girl moms too. My step mother is a girl mom and she is even more obsessed with my brothers than my mother was. My mother passed away recently and my father replaced her with a person who thinks exactly like her even worse. I think it has to do with some trauma they have with male family members in their family.

    • @lexaprofessional
      @lexaprofessional 5 місяців тому +24

      yep! my sister and i would get straight a’s (honors and al classes included), gold medals in cheerleading and track and field, and my mom would just baby the fuck out of my brother. she always bought him something after football games, even if he lost or didn’t play and we didn’t get anything (besides being called fat). they let him steal my stuff, hit me, threaten me, but if i even cursed in front of my mom, i was in trouble. my mom even made me do my brothers homework because he would throw a fit if he had to do it. now he can barely read and write and has severe anger issues.

  • @awwitsbri
    @awwitsbri 4 місяці тому +163

    my husband and i both hyphenated our names to share each others last names and anytime i tell people mainly men, they always insinuate he's less of a man because of it and it boils my blood

    • @kaylapounds1359
      @kaylapounds1359 4 місяці тому +16

      It's unfortunately how they were raised to think. It's like I work in this store and a teen mom came in with her son, who was maybe 1-2 at the time. He grabbed a salmon pink dinosaur bubble toy and was carrying it around. She got upset and forcefully took it from him saying, "my son is not gonna play with some girly colors." I rolled my eyes so hard. I really hope that boy grows up and brings home his strong, masculine boyfriend to meet his mom.

    • @SnakeKillsDumbledorf
      @SnakeKillsDumbledorf 4 місяці тому +1

      @@kaylapounds1359 just because he likes pink doesn't mean he's gay tho. At the turn of the century blue was for girls and pink was for boys, because pink was seen as baby red, and red was a masculine color. It's all made up.

    • @gymnasticsgirlie0647
      @gymnasticsgirlie0647 4 місяці тому +3

      I LOVE that and I think that's how everyone should do it. Because you BOTH now get to be part of your families of origin and your new family unit.

    • @gymnasticsgirlie0647
      @gymnasticsgirlie0647 4 місяці тому +1

      @@kaylapounds1359 I'm not trying to start an argument but why did you feel the need to mention that she was a teen mom?

    • @thagrandpubah
      @thagrandpubah 2 місяці тому

      He IS less of a man!😂

  • @amaniya2009
    @amaniya2009 2 місяці тому +6

    in most families with both boys and girls,
    sons are loved and daughters are raised

  • @c-minus7555
    @c-minus7555 Місяць тому +5

    The fact im slowly realizing this about my mom is mind boggling

  • @Embraceyourcurls24
    @Embraceyourcurls24 5 місяців тому +268

    The whole thing is weird. I just wanted a healthy baby. I have 3 boys, people assume I'm a “boy mom”. I'm a mom who just happened to give birth to only boys. I definitely wanted a daughter but it just never happened.

    • @berrymint6384
      @berrymint6384 4 місяці тому +35

      do not want a gender
      it is just does NOT matter
      your kid is your kid and they need to have their well being.
      That is all you need to focus on.

    • @starcherry6814
      @starcherry6814 4 місяці тому +6

      It really is that simple

    • @ghettoghost305
      @ghettoghost305 4 місяці тому +2

      Same. Ended up with three boys I wanted a daughter due to the extremely toxic relationship my mom created with me and her mom created with her. However, my sons are almost grown and I thank God for them. Very easygoing boys, they were a handful when younger but now are the best boys EVER!

    • @Lolee56
      @Lolee56 2 місяці тому +2

      I would have been happy with a boy or a girl, but I happen to have two boys and they mean the world to me. They have taught me a lot. I love being if you will a boy mom. I think a toxic parent could be one, regardless of the gender of their child.

  • @princesskiki1863
    @princesskiki1863 5 місяців тому +582

    Can we also talk about favoritism when it comes to younger siblings/younger child

    • @TheDancerGemini
      @TheDancerGemini 5 місяців тому +136

      I’m the youngest and definitely didn’t have preferential treatment. In fact I’m the black sheep. It’s quite the opposite for me.

    • @vxrsi.
      @vxrsi. 5 місяців тому +29

      @@TheDancerGeminisamee

    • @rasheedabowers7598
      @rasheedabowers7598 5 місяців тому +52

      Me neither, I was never treated like the youngest....I had so many responsibilities, I never got to experience the baby princess favouritism I've heard about! #SpoiledWho?

    • @missstranger7697
      @missstranger7697 5 місяців тому +41

      ​@@TheDancerGeminiSame here as well! Despite the younger one, I was the scapegoat!!!

    • @dolliepartiee
      @dolliepartiee 5 місяців тому

      @@missstranger7697same!

  • @JackieOwl94
    @JackieOwl94 4 місяці тому +17

    I saw this all my life with my twin brother. He didn’t do anything with his life and has accolades in the family for just being a boy. I had to get married in order to be noticed after I made the dean’s list, and only my husband’s accomplishments are recognized as I can’t possibly be better than any male.

  • @nicholefrische-delaney7431
    @nicholefrische-delaney7431 4 місяці тому +53

    My first child (who is now 30), is a boy, and he was VERY difficult. I'm glad things have improved for him now, and we are now very close, but it was ROUGH. When I got pregnant again, I wanted another boy because I remembered what a nightmare I was as a teenage girl. Well, I had a girl who just turned 18, and I am SO happy. She's one of my very favorite people.

    • @corimoon3360
      @corimoon3360 4 місяці тому +29

      Imagine wanting another boy after having one that was already rough just because you were a nightmare as a teen… the hatred for girls is so deep for some women they’d still rather have a boy after already having a rough one…

  • @freedombirth5255
    @freedombirth5255 5 місяців тому +170

    I also think a lot of these women are treating their daughters worse because they still have trauma from the relationship with their own mothers. Either they don't know how to show love or are afraid in some way to get close due to a fear of future rejection. Not realizing the mistreatment now is what will ultimately cause the rejection later on. It's something I personally struggle with but I remind myself every day that my daughter deserves everything in life that I missed. She is not to blame for my personal feelings or my mothers abuse. My daughter deserves the world! And a healthy happy mother!

    • @sindisibanyoni2111
      @sindisibanyoni2111 5 місяців тому +11

      I totally understand and feel this point because I went through this situation and even now. The only difference is that I'm an only child of both my parents and there were several things I had to learn by myself because my mom was not there emotionally😔😔. One example I can give is puberty😔the most crucial time for a girl as well as a boy.

  • @arbabe3389
    @arbabe3389 4 місяці тому +126

    I admit when I was pregnant, I hoped for a boy, but only because I felt if I had a boy that my baby's father would be more interested in our child (which was not accurate, I think, anyway) but once I found out I was having a girl, it awakened something in me that I did not know was there, I rushed out to buy clothes for her and started thinking about girl names, etc. Once she was born, I found out what true love is - willing the good of another, putting someone else before yourself. I would never trade my daughter for anything in the world and I was just happy my baby was healthy. She was and still is a beautiful, perfect blessing from God!

    • @kaylapounds1359
      @kaylapounds1359 4 місяці тому +5

      I honestly believe it's what you put into something. It's like if you go to a restaurant and they mess up your order and you approach them politely and ask for a new item or see if something can be done to fix it, you're more likely to get helped than if you go full Karen cussing out and screaming at people and making unreasonable demands. Most of the problems people get into are created by themselves.

  • @tahjjj1488
    @tahjjj1488 4 місяці тому +15

    Though I feel less alone reading all these stories, it’s really sad reading all these stories.

  • @easyveganfoodie
    @easyveganfoodie 4 місяці тому +9

    You hit so many points!! This is even more prominent in certain cultures (I’m Indian so yes it’s all of this times 10). The most problematic thing is that they raise their sons to have more authority and no accountability. More authority as in their decisions are accepted, their opinions are sought out and highly regarded but no accountability because they never ever have to face the consequences of their actions. This makes it so hard for them to function in society as a husband, an employee, or just a general human being. And then the daughters are stuck being caretakers forever for overgrown children as their husbands and their in laws and own parents.

  • @backdoorsluts_9
    @backdoorsluts_9 5 місяців тому +192

    I LOVE being a “girl mom” I can’t even picture myself having a son 😂

    • @janisemills1
      @janisemills1 5 місяців тому +30

      Omg I never wanted to be a boy mom! I don’t understand boy stuff or how to raise them. I always wanted a girl!

    • @backdoorsluts_9
      @backdoorsluts_9 5 місяців тому +11

      @@janisemills1 same!! Never wanted a boy !

    • @mingus445_gaming
      @mingus445_gaming 4 місяці тому

      okay backdoorsluts_9

    • @wanjawandia1786
      @wanjawandia1786 4 місяці тому +31

      Dang yall sound like the girl mom version of the boy moms. A child is child no matter their gender. They should all be loved.

    • @mingus445_gaming
      @mingus445_gaming 4 місяці тому

      @@wanjawandia1786 real

  • @MK-Hogan
    @MK-Hogan 4 місяці тому +532

    A mother’s job is literally to teach their sons to be good men TO THEIR FUTURE WIFE. The Oedipus complex happening here is horrendous. 🤨 See it as gaining a daughter, not losing a son.

    • @trinity4391
      @trinity4391 4 місяці тому +25

      Or husband

    • @heartsforbrenda
      @heartsforbrenda 4 місяці тому +92

      Idk about this one, not all boys are gonna grow up to have wives or any form of partner. I think that parents job is just to teach their son to be a good person to everyone.

    • @cheddarcheezit2647
      @cheddarcheezit2647 4 місяці тому +27

      ​@@heartsforbrendaTHIS.

    • @MK-Hogan
      @MK-Hogan 4 місяці тому +18

      @@trinity4391 Sure! I just mean to be a good person to their own family and people in the world, not to treat their own mother like a wife.

    • @angel127_
      @angel127_ 4 місяці тому +5

      i don’t think it’s right to label it the oedipus complex because that theory places all the focus on the *child* for having … sexual feelings for their mother lol

  • @Nylak-Otter
    @Nylak-Otter 2 місяці тому +5

    My older sister rebelled HARD, and she was 18 years older than me. Dropped out of school, did all of the drugs, got a Harley, disappeared for ages, dumped a fiancé when she decided she was gay, all of the mess.
    So my mother was prepared for me to be a hellion, but I was a quiet autistic daughter who loved art, nature, and horses and dogs (and my older sister, who was the best person ever because she would kidnap me and hide me from my mom for days or weeks every so often). I got straight A's, I held a job from age 14 onwards, I had great friends, and I never had a boyfriend (hey, I'm gay, too).
    But I was in trouble *constantly.* If I stayed late at the stables, I was grounded for a month, because I was probably off drinking somewhere and making IEDs in the woods and organizing the next gathering of my violent Satanic cult. 🙄

  • @arielsiffert6656
    @arielsiffert6656 2 місяці тому +4

    I am an all girl mom and an oldest daughter/child who was put into the role of taking care of my younger sibling and had so many restrictions while my brother got to do anything he wanted.

  • @lalimf305
    @lalimf305 5 місяців тому +293

    This topic is so traumatic for me bc my mom is my biggest hater and she tries to dress it up like she isnt. Its hurtful bc it was never like this until she created a storm of poor decisions involving men in her life. Often choosing men over her kids. Now, im grown with 2 sons and cant wait for God to bless me with a daughter. Bc i will never make the mistakes my mother has.

    • @tkj608
      @tkj608 5 місяців тому +15

      I really understand you. My mother is the person who hates me the most. She hates me but won't let go of me. She needs me to be consantly present to berrate me. She also had only bad relationships with man and hoped I would divorce my husband to stay with her. I cut all ties with her. I feel mych better now.

    • @pb-gv1nc
      @pb-gv1nc 4 місяці тому +2

      Sending love. This is a horrible way to feel. My mom was the same way so I understand

    • @Jesus_lovesyouuu
      @Jesus_lovesyouuu 4 місяці тому

      Jesus loves you sm I truly hope you are doing great

    • @Jesus_lovesyouuu
      @Jesus_lovesyouuu 4 місяці тому

      @@pb-gv1nchey I just wanted to say you are loved JESUS loves you I pray that your doing great now❤❤❤❤

    • @Jesus_lovesyouuu
      @Jesus_lovesyouuu 4 місяці тому +1

      @@tkj608I am glad you feel better now and I just want to say to you, your family, and all, JESUS LOVES YOU ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Ajlatango
    @Ajlatango 5 місяців тому +397

    As a mom of 2 daughters I’m genuinely glad I didn’t have sons. My husband is a mamas boy and that’s hard to break. As they say “daughters are yours for life while boys are yours until they find a wife”

    • @ToniBryanneTV
      @ToniBryanneTV  5 місяців тому +172

      I’m saying😭 that’s the one reason I want daughters because all the boyfriends and husbands in my family be at OUR events😂 it’s like guys completely abandon their families when they get in a serious relationship lol

    • @WellBeing999
      @WellBeing999 5 місяців тому +46

      @@ToniBryanneTVthese sons ain’t loyal fr

    • @KaeMaiden
      @KaeMaiden 5 місяців тому +44

      ​@@ToniBryanneTVPeople also display massive double standards at mothers/fathers affections and protective nature towards their opposite gendered children. Case in point:
      -Daddy/Daughter relationships 👍🏽Praised
      -Mummy/Son relationships 👎Ridiculed
      -"Fathers, treat your daughters the way you want her husband to treat her"😊
      -"Mothers, stop treating your sons that way. You're not his wife and you'll spoil him"😤
      -Fathers opening daughters car door: "Such gentlemen" 🤩
      -Mothers cooking for sons. "Why is she still clingy?"☹️
      -"She's daddy's princess at 21yrs old" 🥰
      -"He's momma's boy at 16yrs old" 😡
      -"She's got her dad wrapped around her pinky" ☺️
      -"He's tied to his mum's apron" 😒
      -"Daddies are daughters first love" ☺️
      -"Mummies are sons first love" 🙁
      Yes, some mothers coddle their sons and drag up their daughters, but in a balanced relationship where both parents do their parts, it's just a reflection on dynamics of family life. Mothers coddles their sons because they feel the world is hard on them, fathers coddles their daughters because they feel the world is unsafe for them.

    • @starlight4036
      @starlight4036 5 місяців тому +5

      @@KaeMaidennow that was a great point 👏 I think a lot of mom’s without any sons, in these comments are actually kind of jealous . 😢 but it still doesn’t account for the unfairness. 🤷‍♀️❤

    • @starlight4036
      @starlight4036 5 місяців тому +18

      You said daughters are yours for life while boys are yours until they find a wife but clearly that isn’t always true since your husband is still a mama’s boy

  • @ijustneedmyself
    @ijustneedmyself 4 місяці тому +13

    When I found out it I was pregnant I was really hoping for a girl. The idea of raising a bad ass little girl was so exciting to me. And then I found out I was having a boy! I was honestly disappointed. I was so dead set on having a girl. I heard from people in my life as well as seen in comments online how much "harder" girls were. All I could think was about how I'm going to have to raise this boy to not be the warped idea of what a man is supposed to be. It made me realize that at the end of the day all that matters is that my child is healthy and a decent human. I'm raising him to be in touch with his feelings and to talk about them and to respect boundaries and understand consent. He's allowed to cry. He's allowed to be angry, but he is not allowed to direct that anger at others, especially not in an aggressive manner. It's not harder raising a boy than a girl or vice versa, but it is different in some ways because societal expectations are different and we have to fight against raising our boys and girls to fit into those harmful, stereotypical roles.

    • @plutooo525
      @plutooo525 4 місяці тому +2

      you were dissapointed that you had a son? thats sad

    • @lilyflower5895
      @lilyflower5895 2 місяці тому

      You're essentially a girl mom without having a girl. You're raising your son as a girl too by turning him into a sensitive sob-fest. Sad.

  • @chickennuggetpaw
    @chickennuggetpaw 4 місяці тому +15

    This whole situation is so crazy to me. My mom has always told me she’s glad she had 2 girls, because she thinks that if she’d had a boy or boys there was a chance she’d have to drive us back and forth to sports practices. I personally think that I’d still not be remotely interested in sports if I’d popped out as a boy, but who knows lmao. I’m just so grateful I wasn’t raised by a “boy mom,” or a mom who raised me with the expectation that I’d grow up to have a bad attitude and be catty just bc I have two X chromosomes instead of an X and a Y. 💀

  • @Caribbeannking1011
    @Caribbeannking1011 5 місяців тому +121

    I am disgusted by mothers like this! My grandmother always wanted to have daughters lol, but instead got three sons and three grandsons. She loves us all though, but now she has a granddaughter and she loves her to death and she’s so special to her. Seeing how happy my grandmother was when she find out she was going to have a granddaughter was so amazing for me. She’s never seen any of her daughter in laws as competition

  • @rasheedabowers7598
    @rasheedabowers7598 5 місяців тому +348

    This is weird to me...I have 5 children (boy, boy, girl, boy, girl).
    I could never image competiting with my oldest son's girlfriend (or my other sons future girlfriends) nor have I considered treating my boys better that my daughters. I originally wanted boys (because I grew up hanging around boys) but I am so happy to have all 5 of my children...they're the best gifts my hubby & I have ever rec'd!

    • @celery4777
      @celery4777 5 місяців тому +13

      Ur sweet u sound like a good mum :)

    • @jahminastephens8026
      @jahminastephens8026 5 місяців тому +26

      This is awesome and I feel similar. I have 4: girl, girl, boy, boy. I always wanted a daughter to prove to my mother that daughters and mothers can have great relationships. And I was blessed with all my children. I could never compete with my children (daughters or future daughters-in-law) my daughters are supposed to succeed where I didn’t. Whenever they are complimented, I feel a surge of pride, not jealousy.

    • @thehouseofmillie
      @thehouseofmillie 5 місяців тому +3

      hmm, i would have to hear your daughter's perspective to believe anything you said above.

    • @rasheedabowers7598
      @rasheedabowers7598 5 місяців тому +1

      @@thehouseofmillie My soon to be daughter in law & I have a real close relationship...she feels comfortable coming to me when she needs anything. I love her & I even call her/introduce her as my daughter

    • @rasheedabowers7598
      @rasheedabowers7598 5 місяців тому

      My mom & I also have a great relationship (and so did her mom & her grandmother) so maybe it was just modeled & thus normalized to me & my siblings.

  • @Noura.McCaskill
    @Noura.McCaskill 2 місяці тому +5

    the amount of times I've had to advocate for the value of a girl child in a room full of women is insane. once one of my coworkers was expecting and the entire office SIGHED IN RELIEF when she revealed it was going to be a boy! the woman there who had a daughter said "ugh you're lucky"!!!!!!!! like hello?????????
    my father has two daughters, that is it, and I assure you he's not lamenting his wasted legacy. he has a perfectly fulfilling life, and he's a wonderful dad! jesus wept.

  • @maelaine6266
    @maelaine6266 3 місяці тому +7

    This is really depressing tbh. Women have had to go through so much just because of our gender. The fact that even our own parents like us less just because of our gender hurts my heart

  • @reanndacli3421
    @reanndacli3421 5 місяців тому +215

    I’m the only girl of 5 children and both of my parents very obviously loved my brothers more. I’m 27 and they still don’t hide it. I was the second oldest and I always had to babysit the kids, including my cousins, and help around the house and with dinner. My older brother always got to go play with his friends and do whatever he pleased. He got to go out and party on the weekends but I couldn’t even go to my friend’s house to bake cookies and watch movies because “I could get pregnant.” At my 14 year old bestie’s house?? Please.
    My dad also REALLY wanted us to play hockey. None of the boys wanted to but even though I really wanted to for years I was never allowed to. He was so happy when finally one of them decided to do it and that kid quickly became the favourite.
    I’ll never forgive them. And if my future husband favours our sons more, boy bye.

    • @mingus445_gaming
      @mingus445_gaming 4 місяці тому

      I think its all instinctual, probably natural selection favored women who cared more about their boys than girls

    • @randomnyss2011
      @randomnyss2011 4 місяці тому +5

      I am also working around forgiving my parents. think it wouldn't be possible.

    • @mingus445_gaming
      @mingus445_gaming 4 місяці тому +8

      @@randomnyss2011 It is very much worth it to do so, remember that forgiving them does not excuse their actions it just absolves you of the hate that it caused towards them

    • @shelby6
      @shelby6 4 місяці тому +37

      ​@@randomnyss2011 you also don't have to forgive them, you can recognise their shortcomings and what led them to do what they did to you but you don't have to forgive them, you can move on and let go without it

    • @VantaDraws
      @VantaDraws 4 місяці тому

      I hope you get to play hockey someday

  • @Maclyn88
    @Maclyn88 4 місяці тому +91

    I'm 35, my sister is 33, and my brother is 27. Our Mom was an instant Boy Mom the second my brother was born. She always treated him like a King and seriously fan girl'd over him so much that he would even be uncomfortable with it. I got kicked out at 18 for absolutely no reason... I was a good kid, but then our Mom practically begs my brother to move back home...still. He'll never go back because she annoys him too. When my brother got a serious GF it almost seemed like our Mom was in competition with her. 👀 I haven't talked to my parents in years for various reasons.

  • @camarinnicole
    @camarinnicole 4 місяці тому +28

    This is my first video I have watched of you and lemme just say that I love how you start off by giving us a quote and a bible verse. Even if someone is not a Christian they could still appreciate the words of wisdom. God bless you

    • @ToniBryanneTV
      @ToniBryanneTV  4 місяці тому +6

      Wow, thank you so much!! God bless you as well💗

  • @idkwtd97
    @idkwtd97 4 місяці тому +4

    my ex used to say “you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, besides my mom of course.” they STILL LIVE TOGETHER