DIRECT TV: "Get Rid Of Cable" - The Full Compilation
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- Опубліковано 15 гру 2024
- Each and every stinkin' one of DirectTV's 2012 "Get Rid Of Cable" commercials, including the current one made on Twitter! ☺
Remember, folks:
Don't get bodyslammed by a lowland gorilla.
Don't reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen.
Don't become a local fisherman they call "Big Fatty Face."
Don't have your house explode.
Stop taking in stray animals.
Don't have a grandson with a dog collar.
Don't sell your hair to a wig shop.
Don't fall into a dinner party.
Don't wake up in a roadside ditch.
Don't have your dad get punched over a can of soup.
Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shiffley.
Don't drive into a pizzeria that makes great baked ziti.
Don't chase imaginary butterflies and do something highly illegal.
And most important:
Don't get hit by an ice cream truck but then fade away from existence anyways because your parents never ended up doing it!!
Get rid of cable and...well, you know. 😉
All copyrights acknowledged.
Who ever though these commercials, must be a genius
When you're a genius, you think up these commercials.
When you think up these commercials, you get paid a lot of money.
When you get paid a lot of money, you retire to a seaside villa in Malibu.
When you retire to a seaside villa in Malibu, you start doing research in advanced astrophysics.
When you start doing research in advanced astrophysics, you discover a wormhole under the floor of your villa.
When you discover a wormhole under the floor of your villa, you become transported to another time and place.
When you're transported to another time and place, you crash through the roof of a hotel and land on top of Howard Hughes.
When you crash through the roof of a hotel and land on top of Howard Hughes, Hughes suffocates under your weight and dies.
When Hughes suffocates under your weight and dies, he doesn't a chance to found the Howard Hughes Medical Institute (the company that would eventually create DirecTV).
When he doesn't get a chance to found the Howard Hughes Medical Institute (the company that would eventually create DirecTV), there's no one to pay you for thinking up these commercials.
When there's no one to pay you for thinking up these commercials, you get depressed.
When you get depressed, you start sniffing glue.
When you start sniffing glue, you want to get closer to the source.
When you want to get closer to the source, you get a job in a glue factory.
When you get a job in a glue factory, you steal a 55-gallon drum of airplane glue.
When you steal a 55-gallon drum of airplane glue, you trip and the drum tips over, spilling glue everywhere.
When you trip and the drum tips over, spilling glue everywhere, you get glued to the floor.
Don't get glued to the floor. Get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV.
my mother does that for a living, she's far from a genius, she's a fucking crazy lunatic bitch.
guigal2 should be a commercial
we have to make this for our time traveler for Honor History lol
sounds like a nightmare. Never knowing what to expect hahaha.
Even in 2022, these commercials have the most creative formula! I truly wish they still aired these ads. They were one of the best parts of my childhood!
For fuck sake how old are you 15?
@@justamangoddamn I'm 20....these commercials aired around the time I was 8-11 years old. Whats your problem my guy?
@@blockland30 my problem is your comment made me realize just how old I am and how fast time is going by. It's not you, it's me.
@Khris Khristie ahaha I see. Sorry I misread the tone of your comment. Yeah nostalgia can do that! Hope your doing well these days tho
@@blockland30 is there a commercial from Casper meet Wendy the part a girl Said there back 0:30
When your cable goes out, you get bored
When you get bored, you go see an opera
When you go see an opera, you walk home through a dark alley
When you walk home through a dark alley, your parents get shot
When your parents get shot, you swear vengeance on crime
When you swear vengeance on crime, you become a vigilante dressed like a bat
And when you become a vigilante dresses like a bat, you fight an insane clown
Don't fight an insane clown
Get rid of cable, and switch to Directv
You freakin goddamn genius lol
Ooooohhh boy! Now that is golden!
That was wonderful
Funny how this has become relevant again in 2019 with the upcoming release of Joker.
Thomas Wayne should've had direct TV
But I wanna reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen...
+Christopher Madison #winning
+Christopher Madison
Keep cable tv, don't switch to Direct TV.
Then he gives you HIV
Well then reenact scenes from Platoon with Willem Dafoe!
I’ll settle for anger management
My most favorite was the "Don't attend you own funeral as man named Phil Schiffley". I don't know why,but it's really funny!
ashley wang 'cause it's easily the funniest one. Me & my stepdad used to call each other everytime it came on, LOL! Tru story
Lol!
It's funny because we all had to wait for the cable guy and get bored.
my fav as well
Grandson with dog collar.
When your cable goes out, you get bored
When you get bored, you scroll through social media
When you scroll through social media, a stranger adds you and becomes your friend
When you a stranger adds you and becomes your friend, you agree to meet up
And when you agree to meet up, you find out the person you've been talking to is actually 32 hamsters in a trench coat
Don't get catfished by 32 hamsters in a trench coat
Upgrade from cable to direct TV today
I laughed really hard at that.
I’m so high and now I can’t breath after reading this
What is “social media”? No one talks on it
I hate when that happens
Good one
You have no idea how much I appreciate you posting this compilation. These commercials make me so happy. My favorites will always be the "don't wake up in a roadside ditch" and "don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Schiffly" commercials. Who else is with me in thinking that these commercials are probably developed by DIRECTV employees writing sentences starting with "you" and then followed by an affirmative verb, to start their work days, and then putting those sentences in a hat to be randomly selected later?
I love the Charlie sheen one
When your cable goes out, you appreciate what a nice day it is.
When you appreciate what a nice day it is, you go outside and play.
When you go outside and play, you have adventures.
When you have adventures, you wander into abandoned buildings.
When you wander into abandoned buildings, you fight a wanted criminal.
When you fight a wanted criminal, you bring him to justice.
When you bring him to justice, you are hailed as a hero.
When you are hailed as a hero, random girls think you're hot.
Let random girls think you're hot. Get rid of cable and just play outside.
When you wander into abandoned buildings, you meet a scary ghost chasing after you.
When you get chased by a scary ghost, you wet your pants.
When you wet your pants, your mom complains when washing it.
Don't let your mom complains when washing your wetted pants.
Get rid of cable.
Too much work. I'd rather watch something like that on cable...er, I mean, Directv xD
Catherine Wallace don't do it it's a trap DirecTV will slowly kill you one angry infuriating glitch at a time stick with Xfinity
Now, THAT'S an 'Excellent Adventure'!
I hope this could possibly be a good subject for the “Get Rid of Cable” reboot.
Best logic ever. If anyone still has cable after this they're obviously not smart
I'm still an extremely intelligent person. Seriously.
When you watch direct tv ads, you want direct tv,
When you want direct tv, you subscribe to their plan,
When you subscribe to their plan, you get ripped off,
When you get ripped off, you get angry and punch your grandma in the face,
When you get angry and punch your grandma in the face, you get kicked out,
When you get kicked out, you become a drifter,
When you become a drifter, you get chased around by a crazy guy with a chainsaw.
Don't get chased around by a crazy guy with a chainsaw, don't get direct tv!
+Luke Martin ha
+Luke Martin THAT. IS. BRILLIANT!!!!
+Luke Martin brilliant!
Thanks guys :-)
😂
0:01 Lowland Gorilla
0:30 Charlie Sheen
1:01 Local Fisherman
1:32 House Explode
2:02 Stop Taking In Stray Animals
2:32 Grandson With A Dog Collar
3:05 Sell Your Hair To A Wig Shop
3:35 Fall Into A Dinner Party
4:06 Roadside Ditch
4:38 Dad Get Punched Over A Can Of Soup
5:08 Don't Attend Your Own Funeral
5:38 Drive Into A Pizzeria
6:09 Don't Chase Imaginary Butterflies
5:08 was the best one😂😂
2:32 and 3:35 Letter Box
5:08 as a guy named Phil Shiffely
@@Adam-bw5nz agreed
@@Adam-bw5nz though stop taking in stray animals is a close second..
When you parody DirecTV commercials on a video about them, you make people laugh.
When you make people laugh, you think you're good at making people laugh.
When you think you're good at making people laugh, you try stand-up.
When you try stand-up, you get heckled.
When you get heckled, you snap and assault your heckler.
When you snap and assault your heckler, you get sued, for a lot.
When you get sued for a lot, you need a quick way to make a lot.
When you need a quick way to make a lot, you start a meth lab.
When you start a meth lab, you need to find someone to sell your meth.
When you need to find someone to sell your meth, you get involved with the cartel.
When you get involved with the cartel, you fail to meet deadlines.
When you fail to meet deadlines, the cartel gets angry.
And when the cartel gets angry, you get shot through the heart as you sing a Bon Jovi song in the shower.
Don't get shot through the heart singing a Bon Jovi song in the shower. Don't make funny parodies of ads for DirecTV.
+OhioGentleman Best one yet Ohio.
It was a parody in 1 comment
*A la Bill Wurtz voice* How ‘bout I do anyway
My favorite is the Phil Shifley one
hahahaha... me too😂
Agreed!
so tru!!
+Michael Weston I want to attend my own funeral as the guy name Phil Shifley. But I'll have to fake my own death
+Michael Weston IKR thats my favorite
I like the one where hes all like "and your dad gets punched over a can of soup" idk why it was just funny lol
Lol that was my favorite one
That was my favorite one!
@@albertjackinson thats my favorite one lol
It is funny I joked with my dad once i'll make sure that dosent happen.
That's my favorite.
I came up with an idea for one:
When you can't find the shows you want to watch, you don't watch TV.
When you don't watch TV, you have time to think.
When you have time to think, you get existential.
When you get existential, you look up conspiracy theories.
When you look up conspiracy theories, you unravel conspiracies.
When you unravel conspiracies, you need to broadcast your message.
When you need to broadcast your message, you sing about the Illuminati on a cooking show.
When you sing about the Illuminati on a cooking show, two guys in black suits drug you.
And when two guys in black suits drug you, you get sued by a singer called Weird Al.
Don't get sued by a singer called Weird Al. Get rid of cable, and upgrade to Direct TV.
Sam Millson 😂😂😂
Sam Millson this is the best one I’ve seen so far
I did not see that one coming!
They’re not even the Men in Black who drag you off. Those are just Weird Al’s lawyers
Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley 😂😂😂
"When the grid goes down, crime goes up" This is so true!!!
"When crime goes up, your dad gets punched over a can of soup" So True again!!! LOL
When you make a surprise visit home. You discover something “new” about your parents 😳
When you can't handle cable bills, you lose your cable.
When you lose your cable, you get bored.
When you get bored, you go outside.
When you go outside, you get a job at the local railyard.
When you get a job at the local railyard, you watch rail safety videos
When you watch rail safety videos, you get bored
When you get bored, you get bored for the second time in the commercial
And when you get bored for the second time in the commercial, you go back to the start of the commercial and get caught in an infinite loop.
Don't get caught in an infinite loop. Switch to DirecTV.
Haha good one man they should have thought of this script lol
When you wait for the cable guy, you get bored.
When you get bored, you go on your phone.
When you go on your phone, you see a picture of your spouse cheating on you.
When you see a picture of your spouse cheating on you, you get depressed.
When you get depressed, you run away.
When you run away, you end up in a cow barn.
When you end up in a cow barn, you and the cows get abducted by aliens.
When you and the cows get abducted by aliens, you get experimented on.
When you get experimented on, you turn into a human cow hybrid.
Don't turn into a human cow hybrid.
Get rid of cable and upgrade to Direct TV today.
because if you do become a human cow hybrid, you trample on your spouse and her affair....when you do trample on your spouse and her affair, their child will hunt you down and skin you alive.
Correction: Minotaur (in place of human cow hybrid)
When your cable doesn’t work, you get bored.
When you get bored, you take up podracing.
When you take up podracing, you get good at podracing.
When you get good at podracing, Qui-Gonn Jinn uses you to win a hyperdrive.
When Qui-Gon Jinn uses you to win a hyperdrive, he realizes you are force sensitive.
When he realizes you are force sensitive, he takes you to become a Jedi.
When you get taken to become a Jedi, you become a Padawan.
When you become a Padawan, you get sent on simple missions like guarding a senator.
When you get sent on simple missions like guarding a senator, you end up telling her how much you hate sand.
When you end up telling her how much you hate sand, she falls in love with you.
When she falls in love with you, you secretly get married so no one will know.
When you secretly get married so no one will know, you have dreams of your wife dying.
When you have dreams of your wife dying, you would do anything to save her.
When you would do anything to save her, you ask for the advice of a creepy old man.
When you ask for the advice of a creepy old man, you end up turning to the Dark Side.
When you end up turning to the Dark Side, you fight your former master on a planet full of lava.
When you fight your former master on a planet full of lava, he cuts off your limbs and you get burnt by lava.
When he cuts of your limbs and you get burnt by lava, you have to have a risky medical procedure done to save your life.
When you have to have a risky medical procedure done to save your life, you become a cybernetic Sith Lord named Darth Vader.
Don’t become a cybernetic Sith Lord named Darth Vader.
Quit cable and switch to DirectTV.
Lol😂😂😂😂😂
Good one!!
When you have cable and it doesn’t work you get angry
When you get angry, you try to be less angry
When you try to be less angry, you take up painting
When you take up painting, you want to improve your craft
When you want to improve your craft, you go to art school
When you go to art school, you get rejected from art school
When you get rejected from art school, you want to get even
When you want to get even, you try to gain power
When you try to gain power, you find someone to blame
And when you find someone to blame, you kill over 6 million people
Don’t kill over 6 million people. Get rid of cable.
😂😂😂😂😂 Good one
I know what this is supposed to mean
you should insert "when you want to get even, you grow a toothbrush mustache"
God. That’s screwed up
R/cursedcomments
The Phil Shifly one cracked me up.
Don't chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal. Omg lol
Boy, that escalated quickly.
When you wait forever for the cable guy to come, you get bored
When you get bored, you decide to to find a fun activity
When you decide to find a fun activity, you discover and play laser tag
When you discover and play laser tag, you wonder if it works the same way in reality
When you wonder if it works the same way in reality, you join a gang
When you join a gang, you fight in a turf war against a rival gang
When you fight in a turf war against a rival gang, you get struck in the heart by a bullet
When you get struck in the heart by a bullet, you struggle to stay alive
And when you struggle to stay alive, your family takes you off life support.
Don’t have your family take you off life support,
Get rid of cable and upgrade to DirectTV.
Cable guy to “cum”
*Cyberpunk 2099 theme plays*
Saw a liberty mutual ad about memorable commercials and realized I can’t remember a single one of their ads but it’s been years since I’ve seen these and these are so iconic they’re in my brain for forever
Ladies and gentlemen, the best example of the Slippery Slope Fallacy. And when we're on the topic, let's do an example like this compilation.
When you get sick of Direct tv, you go to the movies.
When you go to the movies, you find a pretty girl.
When you find a pretty girl, you spend time with her.
When you spend time with her, you end up at a hotel.
When you end up at a hotel, you make love.
When you make love, she tells you to marry her.
When she tells you to marry her, you feel pressured.
When you feel pressured, you go to the hotel bar.
And when you go to a hotel bar, you end up wasted with a pregnant lady on your doorstep.
Don't end up wasted with a pregnant lady on your doorstep, get cable back and don't get Direct tv.
Fun fact: Don't reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen was my senior quote 🤣🤣
Respect
I’d still do it
the people who had to come up with these bizarre situations must have had the most amusing brainstorming sessions ever.
Or smoked some serious weed
I use this compilation every year in my Geometry Class. These are perfect examples of Syllogisms used in Direct Proofs. Thank you so much!
When UA-cam freezes, you get mad. When you get mad, you punch your screen. When you punch your screen, glass goes everywhere. When glass goes everywhere, you step on broken glass. When you step on broken glass, you get cut. When you get cut, you start to bleed. When you start to bleed, you freak out. When you freak out, you go get the chemicals and paper towels. When you get the paper towels, you leave a trail of bloody footprints on your brand new rug. When you leave bloody footprints on your brand new rug, you buy a new rug. When you buy a new rug, you decide you don't like the new rug. When you decide you don't like the new rug, you try to return it. When you try to return it, you get rejected. When you get rejected, you get depressed. When you get depressed, you always walk, staring at your feet. When you always stare at your feet, you walk into walls.
Don't walk into walls. Buy a new wifi router.
MarioCreeper Animation Don't walk into walls, get rid of windstream
MarioCreeper Animation dont walk into walls, get rid of comcast "high speed" internet.
lol
LOL, UA-cam froze, so I scrolled down to read the comments.
wolverine96 I hate when UA-cam freezes
But ending up reenacting scenes from "Platoon" with Charlie Sheen sounds awesome!
Not when he shoots you with an hiv laced crossbow
can you guys imagine this commercial with Morgan Freeman's voice .... :D
These are the best commercials ever! I worked for cable when they cane out and absolutely loved them!!! Still laughing so hard I cry sometimes!
I can keep seeing these commercials for the rest of my life!
The best one was with eye patch lol still can't stop laughing. Hahaha.
the same lmfao
+marshall daudet same here lmao
on the subway, the 3 guys are looking at him. the one guy makes a hand gesture like "you want some of me?" just cracks me up.
how tough
these ads explain chaos theory and butterfly effect better than anyone else
All because of cable XD
Direct TV logic is just like Math logic
+Demetrius Peters
Yeah, except they rely on an extremely improbable chain of events.
Old DirecTV* because at&t ruined it
@@drednaught608 not true, i was body slammed by a lowland gorilla after my cable bill was too high
When your cable is broken, you get bored.
When you get bored, you pick up old hobbies
When you pick up old hobbies, you get into baking.
When you get into baking, you get really good at it.
When you get good at it, your spoiled rotten sister asks you to bake her a cake.
When your spoiled rotten sister asks you to bake her a cake, you bake an extravagant one.
And when you bake her an extravagant cake, you trip into the cake face first because of the weight.
Don't trip into a cake face first because of the weight.
Get rid of cable and upgrade to DirectTV.
I remember memorizing literally every single one of these and reading them all out one day in public school and everyone thought I was wasting my time.
Oof
Damn, now that’s dedication.
When your Cable TV freezes, you get mad.
When you get mad, you storm out of the room.
When you storm out of the room, you keep storming because it's fun.
When you keep storming because it's fun, your storms will attract a spontaneous hurricane.
When you attract spontaneous hurricanes, your house gets wrecked.
When your house gets wrecked, your tv gets wrecked.
Keep Cable TV. Switch to books.
+Mr. Original XD yeshhh!!!
This is the best demonstration of the causal slippery slope fallacy. Pure gold.
When the cable guy doesn’t show up on time, you get frustrated.
When you get frustrated, you try meditating.
When you try meditating, hours turn into days.
When hours turn into days, you discover the true meaning of life.
When you discover the true meaning of life, you form your own religion.
When you form your own religion, you gain a lot of followers.
And when you gain a lot of followers, you get killed by a dissenter of your own religion.
Don’t get killed by a dissenter of your own religion.
Get rid of cable, and upgrade to Direct TV. Call 1-800 DIRECT TV.
Bring these commercials back!!!!
When your cable goes down, you go outside
When you go outside you, you want to duel Guts
When you duel Guts, you want to sleep with the princess
When you sleep with the princess, you get tortured for a year
When you get tortured for a year, you wind up summoning the God Hand
And when you summon an the God Hand, you wind up murdering and raping everyone you've come to know and love.
Don't rape and murder everyone you've come to know and love. Get rid of cable and switch to Direct TV.
my teacher showed this to us as a example for the "slippery slope fallacy".
we loved it. he's the best teacher
I was 9 when these came out and I thought these were absolutely hilarious
When your cable goes out, you get stressed.
When you get stressed, you need to get away.
When you need to get away, you go on a school trip.
When you go on a school trip, you go to Europe.
When you go to Europe, you realize you aunt packed your spider suit.
When you realize your aunt packed your spider suit, you find Samuel L. Jackson with an eye patch on in your hotel room.
When you find Samuel L. Jackson with an eye patch on in your hotel room, he takes you to his top secret lair.
When he takes you to his top secret lair, you meet a VFX artist.
When you meet a VFX artist, you have to fight supervillains with the VFX artist.
When you have to fight supervillains with the VFX artist, you give him your high-tech glasses.
When you give him your high-tech glasses, your crush finds some of his gear.
When your crush finds some of his gear, she figures out that you're a superhero.
When she figures out you're a superhero, she shows you the VFX artist's gear.
When she shows you the VFX artist's gear, you realize the VFX artist is the bad guy.
When you realize the VFX artist is the bad guy, you go to fight him.
When you go to fight him, he forces you through several hallucinations.
When he forces you through several hallucinations, you get hit by a train.
And when you get hit by a train, you wake up in a holding cell in the Netherlands.
Don't wake up in a holding cell in the Netherlands.
Get rid of cable and upgrade to DirecTV.
Call 1-800-DIRECTV.
If I hadn't seen these ads my life would be incomplete. Don't let your life be incomplete. Drop cable and get direct tv
*These Go From 0 To 100 Real Quick.*
when the tv freezes
you start going out
when you start going out
you go to a field trip to a laboritory
when you go to a field trip to a labority
you get bitten by a radioactive spider.
when you get bitten by a radioactive spider
you become a superhero
when you become a super hero
your uncle get shot
when your uncle get shot
you try to handle the grief at a supermarket
when you handle your grief at a supermarket
you have ptsd whenever you see a particular packet of rice
don't have ptsd whenever you see a particular packet of rice.
get rid of cable and upgrade to direct tv.
laboratory*
Spider-Man reference spotted
The one that's funny is:
When you wear an eye patch, people think you're tough,
And when people think you're tough, people wanna see how tough, and when people see how tough you end up in a ditch. Don't end up in a ditch...... this one had me rolling on the floor.
That's litteraly the best one!
@@Lazavenlol the thugs are like “what’s good bro 😠”.
Why aren't they making more of these commercials?! Lmao probably the reason I got direct tv.
When you have cable and your picture freezes, you get invigorated.
When you get invigorated, he takes you to his top secret lair.
When he takes you to his top secret lair, you meet a VFX artist.
When you meet a VFX artist, you have to fight supervillains with the VFX artist.
When you have to fight supervillains with the VFX artist, you give him your high-tech glasses.
When you give him your high-tech glasses, your crush finds some of his gear.
When your crush finds some of his gear, she figures out that you're a superhero.
When she figures out you're a superhero, she shows you the VFX artist's gear.
When she shows you the VFX artist's gear, you realize the VFX artist is the bad guy.
When you realize the VFX artist is the bad guy, you go to fight him.
And when you go to fight him, you bring him to justice.
Let them bring him to justice.
Get rid of cable and upgrade to DirectTV.
"Call 1-800-DIRECTV."
4:10 my favourite ! "when you get an eye-patch, people think you're tough and when people think you're tough, they want to see how tough you are"
The grand son with a dog collar is the best
nah man lol Phil Shifley is the best lol
+Abdullah Alobeidi The look on the girls face is perfect as she is hanging out in the Arcade and when she slaps the tray out of the teachers hands.
The your dad getting punched over a can of soup killed me XD
"don't have your house explode"
Did you know that AAA audio ads are now ripping off the DirecTV Get Rid of Cable commercials? I can’t stand ANY of them popping up while using SoundCloud.
0:20 hey it my boi Harambe
#blessed
DirectTV should do new commercials like these... the best
WHO THE HELL IS PHIL SHIFLEY. CAUSE IT IS MY FAVORITE TOO BUT WHO IS HE.
+William Royce the dude who faked his death i think.
the dude who dyed his eyebrows lol
the guy who didn't upgrade to direct tv
William Royce The one my favorite 😂
You know marketing for a product is done right when I go out of my way to search for and watch the commercials released 6 years ago.
How does this not have a million views?! This is gigabrain levels of marketing
I am so enjoying this. I totally do not recall the product (directtv). This is a case of the entertainment of the commercial totally outshining the product to the point you remember nothing but the laughter. Crazy
The one about the guy with the eye patch waking up in roadside ditch kills me 🤣
I think I may have just seen the best commercials ever made. Absolutely brilliant :>) I'm upgrading to Direct TV right now!
I am so glad I stumbled on this.
Dry humor...the best.
this is sooo tru e, I didn't get rid of cable and I ended up chasing imaginary buTterflies into something legal.
***** because of butt
john s
You mean illegal
When you have cable, you get bored.
When you get bored, you disobey quarantine.
When you disobey quarantine, you go on a hike.
When you go on a hike, you find other people on the trail.
When you find other people on the trail, you catch covid-19.
When you catch covid-19, you become isolated in the hospital.
And when you become isolated in the hospital, the dog takes a dump on the floor.
Don't let the dog take a dump on the floor. Switch from cable and get DIRECTV now.
haha
When you don’t have enough money to pay the cable bill, you get suicidalWhen you get suicidal, you jump out a windowWhen you jump out a window, you’re sent to the hospital When you’re sent to a hospital, you meet a hot nurse named SylviaWhen you meet a hot nurse named Sylvia, you escape your life with her and hop on a cruiseWhen you escape your life with her and hop on a cruise, she meets a cooler guy named Jack When she meets a cool guy named jack, he pushes you out into open oceanAnd when he pushes you out into open ocean, you get spotted by North Korean ships and get arrested for being american.Don’t get spotted by North Korean ships and get arrested for being American
GET RID OF CABLE and upgrade to direct tv!
Jack getting arrested
That last one was most likely never aired...XDDDD
Commercials today are garbage. Let's have commercials like these again.
#MakeCommercialsGreatAgain
When your cable goes out, you get bored.
When you get bored, you take piano lessons.
When you take piano lessons, you get really good.
When you get really good, you tour around the world.
When you tour around the world, you go to the Japanese coast.
When you go to the Japanese coast, an earthquake occurs.
When an earthquake occurs, you take refuge in the basement.
And when you take refuge in the basement, you get crushed when a piano falls through the roof.
Don’t get crushed when a piano falls through the roof. Get rid of cable and switch to Direct TV.
When you cant watch TV you get bored
When you get bored you start juggling
When you start juggling you start juggling knives
When you juggle knives accidents happen
When accidents happen you have to spend the rest of your life in Siberia to escape the police.
Don't spend your life in Siberia get rid of cable upgrade to Direct TV
I remember watching these Direct TV commercials a lot when I was growing up and I still to this day look back at these commercials and laugh.😂😅
When your cable is down, you get bored.
When you get bored, you start getting delusional
When you get delusional, you think that you're an action hero
When you think that you're an action hero, you follow explosions.
When you follow explosions, you discover Goku and Vegeta fighting Mewtwo and Lucario.
When you discover Goku and Vegeta fighting Mewtwo and Lucario, you get caught in a Ki explosion.
When you get caught in a ki explosion, you get thrown to the middle of a Heavy Metal concert.
When you get thrown to the middle of a Heavy Metal concert, you end up getting crushed in the Mosh pit.
Don't end up getting crushed in the Mosh pit. Get rid of cable, switch to DirecTv.
Aidinho #25. no just no
when you want to re-enact scenes from platoon with charlie sheen you want to live like charlie sheen, when you want to live like charlie sheen you get addicted to drugs, don''t get addicted to drugs, get rid of cabl- wait, wtf am i saying???DO ALL THE DRUGS YOU WANT!!!!
When you pay too much for cable, you feel annoyed.
When you feel annoyed, you need to travel.
When you need to travel, you go to Japan.
When you go to Japan, you buy weird things.
When you buy weird things, you go home and watch a japanese commercial compilation.
Don't go home and watch a japanese commercial compilation. Get rid of cable and switch to DirecTV.
Therapist: Would you consider yourself an unlucky person?
Me:
I love the "Roadside Ditch" episode the best
When your cable goes down, you feel sad.
When you feel sad, you pack your bag.
When you pack your bag, you run away from home.
When you run away from home, you going to the cruise ship.
When you going to the cruise ship, you feel happy.
When you feel happy, you saw the giant iceberg was in front of the cruise ship.
When you saw the giant iceberg was in front of the cruise ship, the cruise ship gets hit by a giant iceberg.
When the cruise ship gets hit by a giant iceberg, the cruise ship is sinking.
And when the cruise ship is sinking, you swim in the cold ocean.
Don't swim in the cold ocean.
Get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV.
Call 1-800-DirecTv
Titanic.
Best ad campaign ever
When the cable guy says they can't make it, you get whiney.
When you get whiney, you do things without thinking.
When you do things without thinking, people get hurt.
When people get hurt, they hurt you back.
When they hurt you back, you get knocked unconscious
When you get knocked unconscious, they think you're dead.
When they think you're dead, they need to get rid of the body.
When they need to get rid of the body, they throw you into a river.
When they throw you into a river, you end up in a swamp.
And when you end up in a swamp, you're mistaken for a swamp creature.
Don't get mistaken for a swamp creature. Get rid of cable, and upgrade to Direct TV.
Prime example of a Slippery Slope Fallacies haha
And now all we want is the return of TV because streaming has become a nightmare.
When your cable goes out and you can’t watch The Game Awards, you go over to a friend’s house. When you go over to a friend’s house, you have to sit with his dog and his mom. When you have to sit with his dog and his mom, you watch something that isn’t The Game Awards. When you watch something that isn’t The Game Awards, you get angry and lose your temper. When you get angry and lose your temper, you’re too angry to do anything. When you’re too angry to do anything, you have trouble sleeping. When you have trouble sleeping, you go crazy. When you go crazy, 2 people drag you away.
When two people drag you away, they lock you in a rubber room that’s filled with rats.
When they lock you in a rubber room filled with rats, you go crazy for the second time in the commercial.
When you go crazy for the second time in a commercial, you end up back at the part of the commercial that you end up going crazy. When you end up back in the part of the commercial that you end up going crazy, you get stuck in an infinite loop of craziness.
Don’t get stuck in an infinite loop of craziness. Get rid of cable. Switch to DIRECTV today. Call 1-800-DIRECTV.
the whereabouts of Phil Schiffley is unknown 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
All of this could happen because of cable XD
Genius!!!!
Bruh
“ you’re Dad gets punched over a can of soup “
I just can’t 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh, man. I've had the "You have to survive -> you chase imaginary butterflies" one in the back of my head for ages, but I forgot where it was.
"Don't fall into a dinner party." XD
+Creepy Panda You become "The Fist of Goodness".
The memories of my late 20s and me buying my first house and my old job being good company. Been 10-11 years already. 11 years ago these commercials started airing in 2012 that I remember anyways.
What if we didn't have cable none of this would happen.
+George Washingpun Slitheen?
George Washingpun I never had any cable as a child so I go to my grandparent's house just to watch Ben 10.
Upgrade to DirecTV.
When you have cable and your picture freezes, you get stressed.
When you get stressed you go to the gym with your best friend
When you go to the gym with your best friend, you steal a bag of Doritos
When you steal a bag of Doritos, you both share the bag of Doritos,
And when you both share the bag of Doritos, you and your friend get attacked by a Doritos samurai named Tim.
Don't get attacked by a Doritos samurai named Tim, get DirectTv.
Gameshowboy 92 I laugh so hard that I spit my drink😂
I got the reference!!!
"dont get a grandson with a dog collar"- I'm dead🤣🤣
I’m Dead
*Monochrome Perish Mix from FNF plays*
When your cable goes off, you get worried
When you get worried, you try to sleep them away
When you try to sleep them away, you neglect your kids
When you neglect your kids, a social worker takes them away
When a social worker takes them away, you cry all day and all night
When you cry all day and all night, you have a teary face
And when you have a teary face, people laugh at you and call you a crybaby
Don't have people laugh at you and call you a crybaby
Get rid of cable and switch to DirectTV
My favorite one is the one where they tell us to upgrade to direct TV.
Why is your profile pic a Slitheen?
They all do
Which one?
These commercials will never gets old 😂😂😂😂 fuckin dying laughin so hard
These are the best commercials ever
When you wait forever for the cable guy, you get bored
when you get bored, you throw things
when you throw things, people think you have anger issues
when people think you have anger issues, you get angry
when you get angry, you make a surprise visit home
And when you make a surprise visit home, your house explodes
Don't have you house explode, get rid of cable and switch to DirectTV
What?
When you're waiting for the cable guy, you get bored.
When you get bored, you go hang out with your friends.
When you hang out with your friends, you build a raft to explore other worlds.
When you build a raft to explore worlds, your friend opens a door that destroys your home.
When your friends opens a door that destroys your home, you wind up on an adventure with a dog, a duck, and wielding a giant key.
Don't end up on an adventure with a dog, a duck, and a giant key. Get rid of cable and switch to DirectTV.
Is that a Kingdom Hearts reference?
These are awsome for explaining slippery slope fallacies