(Trigger warning dysphoria. Trigger warning panic/anxiety) I get terrified that it will go too far and I will end up just having dysphoria, but on the other side of the gender spectrum. I think what was vital for me was learning the phrase “check in with myself” because I realized that this is something that I can do on a day to day basis (or even hour to hour if I need to) and that I do have the power to stop and even reverse some things if I begin to have new dysphoria that I’m not ok with. I still have moments of panic attack sometimes, especially at night... like will I wake up with a new change I’m not ok with? I’m ok looking, I think as far as looks go, is that going to change? Am I going to wake up and not recognize my own face? I think these are anxieties that not just non-binary people face but for even some binary trans people. In fact if you don’t count the dysphoria and “specific to trans” part, this kind of anxiety could be universally relatable for anyone experiencing changes to their bodies that they can’t control... people experiencing pregnancy and going through rapid changes, new stages in aging, or those prepping for surgery of any kind... I think those outside of the community could use their imagination and see that we are not that different. Autonomy is important to us. Even positive truly wanted changes can sometimes feel scary or overwhelming. I think day to day checking in is an empowering practice because it brings a sense of autonomy back to us, where WE still ultimately decide and where we are still in control. Possibly there will be wanted and unwanted changes, but I always still have some control over continuing or not continuing; raising or lowering my dose, how I present (that can help offer relief and offset discomfort) and so on. I know I mention that a lot and I completely credit you for it because that was truly a lightbulb moment for me. That lightbulb moment was critical for me, in feeling empowered enough to start my journey.
Terrific advice! I’m starting HRT soon & the thought of it not being what I want (and causing a different kind of dysphoria) has terrified me. I’m definitely going to make sure to keep that in mind & check in with myself constantly.
Luca Thank you so much! Credit for the “self check in” part of my tip, goes entirely to Megemiko (please see their other videos because they are fantastic for those pre-hrt or early hrt self help tips). I know I said it and credited Megemiko, but I just want to make sure I’m clear and not accidentally taking partial credit for someone else’s advice. Also good luck with whatever your journey will be and congrats on taking your first steps! 🙏🏽✌🏽
Dude same. I worry about gender dysphoria from too much testosterone. Thanks for sharing and yes its good to be able to do self checks and remain in control of the process as much as possible.
I was always apprehensive in going on T and I honestly still am. I always thought that 1) 1 had no choice but to go on full dose and not low dose (i learned about low dose from your channel!) and 2) if I were to go on T that it would be a lifetime commitment. Talking with my therapist about these things made me realize that you can stop T altogether if it isnt working out for you or go on a lower dose so its reassuring to hear it from more folks that going on hormones isn't a lifetime commitment that you HAVE to uphold and that enough gives me piece of mind. Your videos have been helping me these past few weeks to answer any questions I have in regards to low dose T so thanks for that
Perfect timing! I recently got the referral to see an endocrinologist to start HRT & everything you’ve said about the doubt that comes with this process hits hard! But at the end of the day, I know that I’m gonna make myself go crazy always stuck on the “what if” I never tried it in the first place. At this point in my journey, I’d rather try HRT even if I decide it’s not for me because then at least I’ll “know.” Having a low dose option DEFINITELY makes it easier tho.
Good answer! I just started low dose T and really, it’s kind of a gamble. I know I’m not happy with my default situation. Most testosterone effects seem desirable to me. I wish I was perceived as more masculine. I have a strong sense of gender and masculine hormones seem like they make sense for me. But you can never be fully sure before trying it. I’m trying to be mindful of how it’s affecting me. So far so good but it’s been less than a week, so very little is happening.
It’s a relief seeing others in the comments here and you saying they werent sure when they started, that they’re worried they might go “too far in one direction”, etc. I’m day one on low dose but I have all of these fears and I worry that I’m not legitimate in taking T, that I’m not ready, that I’m being irrational, etc. It’s good to see I am not the only one who made this step with hesitations still
I was just second guessing myself then i saw this video. I got my first hrt appointment Tuesday. Im starting to get anxious and excited. Your videos are super calming. Thanks for making it.
Thank you so much for these vids. Your mindset is really admirable, so many people online are negative or unrealistic or both about their transition, and you seem to have a more mature perspective.
My feels are panic that I will die before I get to physically realize the body I know is the one I need. I'm going on 2 months on T and, with a lengthy conversation with my doctor and learning things I didn't know, she cautiously allowed an increase in my dose. I was on a half dose (50 MG per week) and now I'm on 100MG every 10 days. Because I am fat and adipose holds onto estrogen, my doctor thought the increase would be justified. I know the changes take time and I know I'm still relatively healthy enough to live another 30-40 years, but I've already lost 40+ years to bigotry and I don't want to lose more time. So, I'm anxious and scared. I'm super overjoyed at finally being on this journey and any changes at this point are more than welcome haha. I am checking in with myself at least once a day and I am following my doctor's advice. I'm like a kid waiting for my birthday lol. What genes do I have and what gifts will I receive? I just hope I don't get my dad's baldness haha
Ur exactly what a UA-camr should be in my opinion :)) ur so down to earth and entertaining and you’re so in touch with ur audience!! Keep doing what you’re doing! Edit: you are to me what chella was to you! Your videos have helped me so much
I've been back and fourth about taking T since I started my transition 5 years ago. I just got my first T prescription in my hands yesterday. I've had the prescription for two weeks but I had to drive over an hour and cross state lines to find a trans friendly endocrinologist, and it took a while to get the prescription sent to my local pharmacy. I also decided on low dose because my goal is to appear genderless. I finally have it in my possession but I don't know how to use it. They didn't show me at the doctor's office and I've never done an injection before. I'm going to call them tomorrow and either ask a local nurse or someone at my local LGBT center to help me....Its just a super weird situation. I have this vial of T and I can stare at it but I can't put it in my body yet...
most strangers gender me as male and use he/him/sir when i’m out in public. i almost always use the women’s restroom, but i like to go with my partner or a friend so i’m not all alone!
(Trigger warning dysphoria. Trigger warning panic/anxiety) I get terrified that it will go too far and I will end up just having dysphoria, but on the other side of the gender spectrum. I think what was vital for me was learning the phrase “check in with myself” because I realized that this is something that I can do on a day to day basis (or even hour to hour if I need to) and that I do have the power to stop and even reverse some things if I begin to have new dysphoria that I’m not ok with. I still have moments of panic attack sometimes, especially at night... like will I wake up with a new change I’m not ok with? I’m ok looking, I think as far as looks go, is that going to change? Am I going to wake up and not recognize my own face? I think these are anxieties that not just non-binary people face but for even some binary trans people. In fact if you don’t count the dysphoria and “specific to trans” part, this kind of anxiety could be universally relatable for anyone experiencing changes to their bodies that they can’t control... people experiencing pregnancy and going through rapid changes, new stages in aging, or those prepping for surgery of any kind... I think those outside of the community could use their imagination and see that we are not that different. Autonomy is important to us. Even positive truly wanted changes can sometimes feel scary or overwhelming. I think day to day checking in is an empowering practice because it brings a sense of autonomy back to us, where WE still ultimately decide and where we are still in control. Possibly there will be wanted and unwanted changes, but I always still have some control over continuing or not continuing; raising or lowering my dose, how I present (that can help offer relief and offset discomfort) and so on. I know I mention that a lot and I completely credit you for it because that was truly a lightbulb moment for me. That lightbulb moment was critical for me, in feeling empowered enough to start my journey.
Terrific advice! I’m starting HRT soon & the thought of it not being what I want (and causing a different kind of dysphoria) has terrified me. I’m definitely going to make sure to keep that in mind & check in with myself constantly.
Luca Thank you so much! Credit for the “self check in” part of my tip, goes entirely to Megemiko (please see their other videos because they are fantastic for those pre-hrt or early hrt self help tips). I know I said it and credited Megemiko, but I just want to make sure I’m clear and not accidentally taking partial credit for someone else’s advice. Also good luck with whatever your journey will be and congrats on taking your first steps! 🙏🏽✌🏽
Thank u!!!
Dude same. I worry about gender dysphoria from too much testosterone.
Thanks for sharing and yes its good to be able to do self checks and remain in control of the process as much as possible.
I was always apprehensive in going on T and I honestly still am. I always thought that
1) 1 had no choice but to go on full dose and not low dose (i learned about low dose from your channel!)
and 2) if I were to go on T that it would be a lifetime commitment.
Talking with my therapist about these things made me realize that you can stop T altogether if it isnt working out for you or go on a lower dose so its reassuring to hear it from more folks that going on hormones isn't a lifetime commitment that you HAVE to uphold and that enough gives me piece of mind. Your videos have been helping me these past few weeks to answer any questions I have in regards to low dose T so thanks for that
Perfect timing! I recently got the referral to see an endocrinologist to start HRT & everything you’ve said about the doubt that comes with this process hits hard! But at the end of the day, I know that I’m gonna make myself go crazy always stuck on the “what if” I never tried it in the first place. At this point in my journey, I’d rather try HRT even if I decide it’s not for me because then at least I’ll “know.” Having a low dose option DEFINITELY makes it easier tho.
Good answer!
I just started low dose T and really, it’s kind of a gamble. I know I’m not happy with my default situation. Most testosterone effects seem desirable to me. I wish I was perceived as more masculine. I have a strong sense of gender and masculine hormones seem like they make sense for me.
But you can never be fully sure before trying it.
I’m trying to be mindful of how it’s affecting me. So far so good but it’s been less than a week, so very little is happening.
It’s a relief seeing others in the comments here and you saying they werent sure when they started, that they’re worried they might go “too far in one direction”, etc. I’m day one on low dose but I have all of these fears and I worry that I’m not legitimate in taking T, that I’m not ready, that I’m being irrational, etc. It’s good to see I am not the only one who made this step with hesitations still
I was just second guessing myself then i saw this video. I got my first hrt appointment Tuesday. Im starting to get anxious and excited. Your videos are super calming. Thanks for making it.
Thank you so much for these vids. Your mindset is really admirable, so many people online are negative or unrealistic or both about their transition, and you seem to have a more mature perspective.
My feels are panic that I will die before I get to physically realize the body I know is the one I need. I'm going on 2 months on T and, with a lengthy conversation with my doctor and learning things I didn't know, she cautiously allowed an increase in my dose. I was on a half dose (50 MG per week) and now I'm on 100MG every 10 days. Because I am fat and adipose holds onto estrogen, my doctor thought the increase would be justified.
I know the changes take time and I know I'm still relatively healthy enough to live another 30-40 years, but I've already lost 40+ years to bigotry and I don't want to lose more time. So, I'm anxious and scared.
I'm super overjoyed at finally being on this journey and any changes at this point are more than welcome haha. I am checking in with myself at least once a day and I am following my doctor's advice. I'm like a kid waiting for my birthday lol. What genes do I have and what gifts will I receive? I just hope I don't get my dad's baldness haha
Omg so exciting!!
Ur exactly what a UA-camr should be in my opinion :)) ur so down to earth and entertaining and you’re so in touch with ur audience!! Keep doing what you’re doing!
Edit: you are to me what chella was to you! Your videos have helped me so much
thank you so much for your comment!! ❤️
i’m so happy my videos have helped you. let me know if you have any video ideas or requests!
Chella Man is awesome!
I've been back and fourth about taking T since I started my transition 5 years ago. I just got my first T prescription in my hands yesterday. I've had the prescription for two weeks but I had to drive over an hour and cross state lines to find a trans friendly endocrinologist, and it took a while to get the prescription sent to my local pharmacy. I also decided on low dose because my goal is to appear genderless. I finally have it in my possession but I don't know how to use it. They didn't show me at the doctor's office and I've never done an injection before. I'm going to call them tomorrow and either ask a local nurse or someone at my local LGBT center to help me....Its just a super weird situation. I have this vial of T and I can stare at it but I can't put it in my body yet...
Wow, thank you so much for this. Your vulnerability is so so appreciated.
Thanks for the video! It was really interesting!🤗
hey! what pronouns are strangers using to describe you? what toilet do you use in public?
most strangers gender me as male and use he/him/sir when i’m out in public. i almost always use the women’s restroom, but i like to go with my partner or a friend so i’m not all alone!