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Itna deep topic ...😢 kya hi bole sir .... Dunia jahan ka pyaar or dikhawa krte h mere sasural wale mujhe lekar...lekin jo maine pregnancy or after birth jhhela na wo aapke ek ek shbd se match krta h....bhains ka sach m jyda dhyaan rkha jata h ...haryana m or bahu ka nhi😮
In south India there is a custom to not touch the baby and mother for 11 days. Only 1 or 2 caretakers r with them Separately. Bed is also separate for mom and baby.
Also, here in south India, the delivery is done at mother's place. Not at in-laws home. And I've seen the south Indian ladies will be at mothers home for at least next 6 months. Stress-free for the young mother I feel.
I was lucky in this case, gave birth to my baby during corona time so no relatives allowed in hospital , even at home very few relatives came that too no one entered my room. Had a full time japa maid and mother in law, husband took care of me very well Did complete rest for first 40 days.❤ This is the time period of a woman's life which she will remember whole life., whether bad or good.
Me ro ro ke bata batake thak gai thi aapne husband ko yahi bat but no one understands, abhi mujhe dusra bachcha chahiye lekin vo din yad karke mujhe dar lagta he abhi,.... thank u so much Aisa laga ke me apni halat bata rahi hu kisiko
Same, just canteen se sasta saman lana hai ,mere pati ki paternity leave 5 days kha gye. Or laye kya baby gift pact around 266 Rs only. Kyuki or kuch ni mila😢 . No one can understand at that paticular time - LOVE can be define as CARE + RESPECT. Sas jaan bhuj ke karti hai unfortunate.
Same here ...meri beti 9 years ki ho jaayegi...par maine jo bhi uss time saha hai c section ho jaane ke baad bas tabhi decide kar liya tha ki nahi chahiye 2nd baby...koi paani bhi nahi poochta tha except husband..
Mujhe bahut khushi hai, ki meri delivery normal hui, aur mere sasur ji ne mujhe 8 days hospital ke hi, lekin distant room mein rakhwaya, jismein aane wale guests ke liye sifa vagaifh bhi the, aur ye kafi bada area tha, hamari joint family thi, us waqt, mere puchhne par, ki, pitaji main ghar kab jaungi, to bole, kuchh din आराम से रहो, ghar se meri sasu maa bahut baar aate rahe, jabki vo paralysed thi, un dono ko beti ki tamnna bahut thi, dono khush ho gaye the, beti dekhkar. Ab to dono bhi nahi hain lekin un ka pyar aur dhyan rakhna kabhi nahi bhool sakti. Un dono jaisa koi nahi bn sakta. Vaise hum Haryana se hi belong karte hain.
Jo bhi parents 30s me hai unhone to dekh liya hai baby ke paravarish me dono side ke mammi papa kitna sath dete hai, abandon kar rakha hai apne hi baccho ko, dekh lo tum log hi, job bhi baccha bhi, women ki career ki to vat lagati hai seriously, hame dusare bacche k liye koyi incentives hai hi nahi. The sad thing is that no one is caring about the situation in our society. Sir apne very important issues raise kiye hai iski charcha ek yuddh ki tarah honi chahiye.
I too have faced such issues after my baby was born. My ex husband’s some relatives came in hospital the same day my baby was born and some came to our house on the day I was discharged from the hospital. My ex husband didn’t take stand for me and did what his mother was telling him to do. He along with his mother disrespected me and my mother and demanded gifts for his own relatives for the birth of my baby. Due to these issues combined with issues like extra marital affair of my ex husband and demand of money after my baby was born, we are divorced. I couldn’t stand the disrespect he did to me & my family. Sadly, people especially in North India still have preference for boy child. Perhaps, my ex husband & his family would have tried to resolve the issues that arose, if boy child was born.
@@lotusvines3698Why the in laws are asking money and gifts from girl's family at birth of child? This is a north Indian thing, might be some south Indian also, but why north Indians are feeling offended when it is pointed out that they ask gifts from girl's family.
mai jab maa bani thi mere sath bhi yehi hua tha , mujhe to dengue bhi ho gaya tha , fir bhi ye pooja hai isme to baithna hi padega aisa bola gaya tha , na chahte huye bhi , photo me dikh raha hai ki artificial zabardasti ka smile kar rahi hu , so ni pate the hum , shor itna , meri mummy gai 15 days me , mai kaam pe resume ho gai ghar ke kaam pe , jab mai bed me thi , to saas bolti ki tujhe humare liye karna chahiye jab ki hum tere liye kaar rahe hai , wo bhi ek bar halwa banaya tha mere liye , tab , aur bhi bahut bitter yaade hai us time ki , ek baccha kar liya ab firse wo helpless wali situation me dobara jana hi ni hai , koi kuch bhi kar le , dekh liya sabka alsi chehra us time , hubby ne jitna hua sath diya 7 days tak fir to unko bhi dengue ho gaya tha
Excellent sir. I am a pediatrician mom myself, doctor husband. Can totally relate to this , despite knowing every fact couldnot avoid all this. You are such a great eye opener. Thanks Each word is bitter Truth
Went through a lot of kalesh which traumatised me to the point i separated from my husband when baby was 6 months. Some people have sick mentality and sadly it doesn’t change.
Bhot kalesh hua. I too fight back. I didn't allow any pooja. Husband full support in-laws. And the matter reached to a divorce. Now the thing becomes normal. Let see what happened next. The first right on baby is of mother
Mera beta abbhi 17 saal ka he...lekin ye same situation mene face ki thi.. I was very shy at that time....and due to ill treatment of my inlaws I didn't plan a second baby....me apki fan ban gyi guruji😢
Whatever you said, it’s worse than that.. not even in middle class.. good earning educated people do that. I live in Sweden,when I gave birth, I called my mom for help for the first 40 days. But after that it was my husband, here in Europe both partners get good parental leave with wfh option available… I got joint issues after delivery.. but my husband said I am exaggerating ’ tu koi pehli aurat nhi h jis r bacha paida kiya h’ I took care of baby alone whole night, but still he was angry with me for not waking up early and cooking breakfast ( lunch and dinner I was cooking). He treated me like trash.. instead of emotional support, he abused me emotionally during that time because I was dependent on him little bit physically. Gave me silent treatment and what not.. I was equally earning but I was on maternity break and he said ’ tujhe ek saal free khana khilaya h’ I was thinking- jo bhi khaya uska bache ko doodh pila diya hoga…. Anyways we are not together anymore. But the one year after the child birth was the reason for divorce. I supported him all through his life, just needed a little emotional support from him after the birth, but husband or in-laws don’t give that. 😢
Working mothers ke saath toh in-laws cooperate nahi karte. Maternity leave ke baad woh join nahi kar pati. Even inlaws expect gifts from newly mother' s parents in the form of "chuchak".
@@AM-nx2iw main toh kahunga ki family hi jaruri hai. Job koi bharosa nahi kon kab aapko job se nikaal se, layoff kar de. Toh soch lo samajh lo.. fir decision lo.
C-section walo ko phir bhi thoda privilege milta hai ...normal delivery wali bechari jinhe neeche stiches lage hain..unse to alag hi expectation hoti hai ki dusre teesre din se kaam pe lag jaye kyunki normal delivery hai...dard aur takleef dono hi process me hai..
Right words.... And everyone call unnecessary....even no vedio call should be allowed..... Aur kon kitna pyar karta hai 1 -2 saal main sab pata chal jata hai .,..
1) Lack of privacy and elder men and kids in family constantly entering japa room without even knocking 2) Constant comparison and belittling by old women "humane to 4-4 kiye. Humane to 2-2 saal doodh pilaya. Hamare to bina baai naukar ke pal gaye." Every day random women from village gather around and start their own stories and judgement. 3) Constant pressure to maintain a certain diet. "1 litre doodh piyo. Ye wale laddu khao. Ghee piyo. Khatta mat khao" 4) Nonsense rituals for babies. Kala teeka kala dhaga kajal tabeez and similar ugly Islamic things. Gutti pilao gripe water pilao. Baba ke Darshan karwane le jao. Nazar utarwao. Most of these things are torchure to the baby.
@@chillshaily1 If you ask an average firangi toh 'India' and 'women's issues' also don't sound right in the same line. But does that mean all of India is misogynistic? Itne educative channel pe toh thoda try to rise above hate and bias
@@EssamFasih call it what you will. I know it for a fact that there is no concept of "nazar" in Hindu traditions, (consequentially tabeez dhaga etc. are also foreign). It's an Islamic byproduct and best avoided cos we don't need such fear mongering and blackmail in our lives.
I am very proud of myself. I informed my organisation well in advance about the paternity leaves. I took 3 months of leaves to support my wife and baby. I was only one who availed such amount of leaves. Btw i work in Australia and once you quote a valid reason they manage workforce to make leaves available. This should also get replicated in India. I am happy that i was able to support my little one and my wife. I agree with guruji 100%.
My baby is 4 months old (first child) and I can totally relate to this. I strictly told my mother-in-law that none of her friends will come n see the child or take the child in godi. Once she did it, n my child cried like hell. She got the lesson also.
So true..i had a difficult post partum too..c section ke baad bht din tak i could not sleep and jab bhi jaise taise neend aane lagti thi tbhi saas neend se uthakr video call pr baat krne bol deti thi apne rishtedaro se..jb ek din patience khtm hogya toh irritation hogyi and husband ko bol dia k uski mummy k wajah se neend khrab hoti h..uski mummy uss din se har kisi ko meri acting krke dikhati h k kaise neend disturb hone pr ye pagal jaise behave krti h n rone lgti h..muje ye tak bola gaya ki muje dimag k ilaaj ki zarurat h and bccha mere sath safe nai..and fir wohi ehsan ke dekh hum kitna dhyan rkh rhe h tera..tuje b aise rkhna hoga hmara..problem is husband ne kabhi mera stand nai liya in sb mein
Im 5 months pregnant and working full time.and my saas doesnt want maid and cook ....wants me to do everything in my own....batao aurat ko akal hi nahi hai. Husband ko kuch aata nahi hai but atleast woh 1 time bartan kar deta hai....usme bhi muhje sunna padta hai...
We women , during and after pregnancy expect nothing except our husband and in laws to be sensitive towards us and be by our side. That's it. Believe me. That's all. Just because your mother and her previous generations have faced the trauma of dealing with insensitive people, doesn't mean you have to pass it on further. It has to stop somewhere.
जो बुजुर्ग महिला ऐसा बोले कि पहले तो यूँ ही बच्चे हो जाते थे और पल जाते थे तो उनको जवाब देना चाहिए कि जैसे यूँ ही पैदा हो जाते थे तो वैसे ही यूँ ही मर भी जाते थे। और जैसे यूँ ही पल जाते थे तो वैसे ही वो बच्चे शराबी, जुआरी, नशेड़ी, अपराधी, नार्सिसिस्ट ,और डिप्रेशन के शिकार भी बन जाते थे।
Sir 2002 me jab mera beta hua ghar me koi privacy nhi, regular kalesh, bilkul mere paas TV chalta tha, kitchen ke bartano ki itni tej aawaj or husband ka bilkul alag rahna...ye sab jhela hai 😊 or ye bhi suna tune hi Nandlal paida kiya hai 😊
In Maharashtra, 40 days "Suyer" after childbirth and similarly 40 days "Sutak" after a death in family. Although given religious branding, the real reason behind it is medical to avoid infections, diseases and germs!
meri shadi maharashtra me hui hai , mujhe aisa kuch ni mila , 13 oct child birth by c- section , 20 oct dengue detect hua, 2 oct ko mom gai meri apne ghar , us din se maine ghar ke kaam resume kiya , even handa with water bhi leke ati thi gate se kitchen tak , chai banao morning me 4 bar wo bhi sabka taste different , dopahar ko 2 bar sham ko 4 bar different taste ke , bacche ke sath acche se first 6 month guzare hi ni maine , ek to ye relative old people , unke tv dekhne ka shauk , away se hum rest bhi ni kar pate the 15 din bhi ni
My baby faced health issue by visit from relatives. I got sick had high fever cold body pain . My baby too had the same and needed to be admitted to NICU. Baby was just 30 days. The doctor there told small babies do not have sufficient immunity to fight . The baby has gun with no bullets. It's really risky I felt so sick angry sad after this. This happened shortly after one of the relatives visited and held baby.
I totally agree with you, Meru badi beti ke time Meri saas ne itna pareshan kiya ki 22 din me Maine some husband ko bola tha ki ya to Muje mere mayke chod ke aap ya fir main khud bacha leke drive Karke chali Jaugi… I don’t understand these customs 12th day naming ceremony karna hai, bahçe ko jhule me dalna hai, height was ki 12 days me mundan karna hai bahçe ka… I let other things happen but had to fight for Mundan.. Ki pagal ho tüm log itne chote bacha hai tumhe Mundan ki padi hai.. Ki ear peiercing 12 se 20 din me kardo baad me issue hoga… Pagal log Bhare pade hain samaj me .. 1 Rs ki akal nahi hai… Doctor bolte hain 6 month bahçe ko jhule me mat daalo hamare logo ko 12 din me dalna hai… Poore anpadh gawar aur bahuyo ko bölege ki tumhe kya pata… That’s why in my second Delievery I said NO that koi nahi Aayega.. Main maid laga lugi full time but in-laws nahi Chahiye… Jis time shanti Chahiye us time hi poora stress de denge…
Sir ne ye baat kafi sahi kahi ki new mother ko pampering karo and kuch gold ya gehna do..aaj lady nahi karna chahti bache because she knows ki at the end use hi har chize suffer and compromise karni padti hai..compare to men..emotionally mentally physically socially and financially..while men are the least affected..and jab use itna kuch sacrifice karna hota hai bacche ke liye isiliye aaj bache zimmedari lagte hai bahut badi.
My son was only 1 month & 15 days old when my inlaws took me for kuldevi darshan. I had severe back pain and mentally annoyed by their behavior. At least my parents should stop them. After that I told them don't do any navas on my or my childs name as I will not come again. Whenever I remember thoes days I felt so bad for my son as I had developed anger issue due to postpartum depression. I felt guilty, i feel i have not enjoyed my motherhood & his childhood. Now on the way of healing. I want to be a mother again, I want to have a child again but don't want any of my inlaws or even my parents with me in that period
Excellent video. My 2 months baby got diarrhoea, as one of the relatives put her dirty fingers in baby's mouth in the name of playing with her. No visitor rule should be applied for new babies till 3 months at least.
Hamare yah to ulta hota h sir...ap keh rhe ho 5 tole sona do bahu ne chirag diya h ghar ko...yaha to ulta 5 tole bahu se le lete h or nanad ko de dete h ki nanand ayi h caretaker bankar...or wo nanad kitni care krti h yeh sab bahuye janti h wo 40 din me jo hota h...bahu bacha b paida kare 40 din sab jhele or duniya bhar ka sona nanad ko de..apki video sir h to badhiya ..par bhej di mere in-laws k pas to agle hi moment ghar se out
Exactly sir!!! I faced huge issues because of this...... Bohot problems hui all pregnancy and post also..... Was tioo stresses and tensed... Noone supported....infact everyibe was cursing me including my husbnd Exactly..... it's not culture... only exploitation..
Mere saath b aisa hi hua tha 2 bacche dono c section se.... ab me sochi bhi nai. Jaisi meri haalat rhi, bagwaan kiski ko itna trauma na de...Disko bhi depression hua hai plzz Bahar Nikko depression se....mne 5 Saal dediye bacchon ko garr ko family ko, lekin Kaddar nai hui. Ab Bass hogya muh me zubaan bhi aagai, aur dimmag me akal bhi aagai. Khudd akelle aana jaana Shuru kr dia jo bda relaxing lagta hai......ab life Patri pe hai😅
Bahot kalesh .... Sabki jealousy aur kaafi zadaya ristedar ka interference Merko mere husband ka mama bol raha tha ki tu darwaza khole doodh pela kyuki mother in law ko achha nahi lag ta ki darwaza baand ho. Aur husband lapata And I am an educated working woman at a good corporate
And I remember more horrible stuff. When I was 8 months, one morning in front of my husband my MIL asks me that, "merko apna bacha de gi na? " I said ki dadi ho aap dadi ka sara kaam karo ge. Ye sun ke mera husband room se uth ke bhaar chala gaya gussa ho kar. I went after him asking why are you angry and I got no response. I don't know what was wrong with them.
Women get maternity leave for 6 months and it is for taking care of the child and mother, instead of that mother is expected to do saas sasur ki seva for those 6 months and meanwhile saas sasur wants to just play with the baby without taking any responsibility either physical or financial. Also babies gets sick due to unhealthy habits of grandparents.
mother says "dear lord, dont let my daughter suffer like i did" mother in law says" if i suffered why cant you suffer " post partum is like hell. i got so much trauma .
I am a Doctor and mother of twins. After delivery, what you said happened with me. What hurt the most was my husband didn't participate in the childcare. On top of it, SaaS bahu serial. It is indeed very traumatic experience. It affected the time, I should be happy with my children. In all that tension, lactation failed...😢
Sir apko bohot bohot dhanyawad iss tarah k topic ko lana hi ektarah ka Eureka moment hai samaj k liye. Aapke liye respect aur badh gya. Im sharing this video at my capacity.
😢i have no words for this video i also faced lot of traumatic things in first pregnancy and after delivery and in second pregnancy can't even explain in some words😢😢 just behave like a human with other human beings please
Mere case mein toh itna Kalesh kiya meri saas ne ..can’t tell you in words Guru ji …nanad ko chorh ke dewar ne saas ne Sasur ne sab ne itna torture kiya ke muje delivery naam se nafrat ho gyi h ….itna emotional turbulence create kar diya tha mere andar…that too with my twin pregnancy..most difficult phase of my life.Husband ko bhi mana kiya tha care karne ke liye but he supports me in my second delivery.
And one more thing mere sasural waali side no 40 days wala system .woh 12 days pe hi chota sa function kar k Kaam karne ko bolte h ghar ka …it’s V sad ke sab torture bhi muje ek aurat ne hi diya h ..gehri peeda 😢
saas to bolti thi ki kaam na karna pade isliye doodh peelane ke bahane room me baith jati hai , mai kis situation se guzar rahi thi kisine pocha ni , milk kum ane laga tha because mai childbirth ke 6 th day se hospitalized thi dengue hua tha milk waha to aake girta tha , bt jab ghar wapas ai to kum ho gaya tha 10 days me to i was trying ki mere bacche ko natural mother's milk zyada se zyada mile , formula dete the hu zyada but mujhe wo itna thik ni lagta tha , bt ye situation samajhke ni li , jabki 3 kaam wali bai thi humare ghar me fir me mere hath se kaam hona chahiye tha saas wanted that , is i'nt it a torcher?
@@UpashreeMandal 🤦🏻♂️ ye haath ki chai kya hota hai mujhe aajtak samajh nhi aaya, ingredients toh wahi rahenge chahe koi bhi banaaye, aur agar basic tasks bhi khud nhi karenge toh baithe-baithe poori body ki muscles akad jaayengi aur body ke upar zara sa impact aane se bhi injury ho jaayegi, jahan in-laws acche hote hain wahan bahu acchi nhi hoti aur jahan in-laws bure hote hain wahan bahu acchi hoti hai 😂 ek hamari bhabhi hai poora din phone main ghusi rehti hain, mammi bhi koi kaam nhi deti unhe par tab bhi unko har time kuch na kuch drama karna hota hai, koi bhi occasions hote hain uspe expensive gifts aur jwellery bhi dete rehte hain ham log, khaane-peene ki ghoomne firne ki har cheez ki azaadi mili huyi hai tab bhi zara sa koi argument bhi ho toh Police report karne ki dhamki deti rehti hain 😅 unse sirf ek cheez expect ki jaati hai ki khush raho aur doosro ko bhi khush rehne do agar koi problem hai toh bta do ham help karne ki koshish karenge agar hamse koi problem hai toh ham uska koi solution karenge lekin bhagwan jaane unhe kis cheez se khushi milti hai 😔
I can relate this corona ke time mai b aisa hua krta tha mjhe gussa ata tha jb mere bete ko koi hath lgata tha qki sach mai koi saf safai nhi or khud ki halat krab thi bs bebas ho ke dekhti thi Or b bht sari chije thi jisse postpartum depression mai phonchi thi Koi help ni krta tha ek hi bacha pehla hi bacha ple ladka chahiye vo b hogya toh usme b burai kamiyaan nikalti thi mil bht dukh hota tha c sec mai roti thi stitches b dukhte the husband alag sote the puri rat koi bche ko n dekhta tha toilet door tha rat ko vha tk phonchne k liye mjhe ( dande)stick k sahare jana pdta tha bache ki laundary vala kam b bht muskil se hota tha induction p khud k liye dal dhudh khichdi bnati thi Na koi nehlata tha 7-7 din hojate the minnate krte hue sas se or sare kapde breast milk se gande hojate the na bedsheet change krta tha koi or still care n hone ki vajah se delivery k 4 sal bad b sarer recover ni hopaya bht chije krab hogyi h body mai Mjhe b sunna pdta tha k humare toh 4 bache Ghar Mai hue h hospital mai q jana bla -2
When i gave birth my elder son just one month ago my own mother died in a road accident. After delivery i got panic attacks and went through heavy stress. But no one took care of my mental and physical health. All time buss baccha aur relatives. Continues i was having heavy bleeding till three months. But my in laws never consulted to the doctors.
Sir Rajasthan m bhi hota hai saas hardly 40 din care krti hai muh suja kr jaise bahoot bda ahshan kr rhi hai mere sath aise hi hua tha meri 7 month ki baby hai
Odisha me 12 din tak isolation ka culture. Non veg and even touch is barred from outside people. Even deity worshipping is stopped. On the 21 days there happens a ceremony where people get to see the child and bless.
Same in Andhra. 11 days we actually follow the rituals of a death ceremony. Nobody comes in. Nobody goes out. Khana yaa toh bahar se koi bhijwata hai ya you can make on your own. No prayers or diya. Not even family members except grandmother touch the baby. Nobody goes into the mother and baby’s room except a helper or grandmother to help the mother. The baby and mother are sponge bathed. On 11th day garma garam pani se nehlakar hi kisiko dekhne ya touch karne dete hai
Dear nhi jaaye to koi bolte h aaye bhi nhi , meri nanad ki delivery Hui to hum vhi thi pura din Raat ko gye vaapis , agle din humne socha ki uski family h kyo jyada bheed ki hospital me , to meri nanad ne drama bna diya is baat kaa ki aaye kyo nhi agle din fir hum next day gye
बिल्कुल सही बात कही है आपने सर जी हमारे इंडियन के कलचर इतने मूर्खता पूर्ण है कि मुझे तो इसे इतनी नफरत है और इस वजह से ना मैं शादी करना चाहती हूं ना बच्चे एक वूमेन की लाइफ कितनी मुश्किलों पर होती है पर उसे कोई इज्जत नहीं मिलती उसकी।
Mere saath bhi hua hai. After C-section 5 days govt hospital me hospitalised thi. Got very good treatment and care over there. My mother and husband was with me at that time. After discharge, my SIL took care for next 7 days. As I came home, a severe kalesh happened within 2-3 days. MIL and husband asked to give the baby and shouted on me to leave home. In a house of 2 rooms, in 1 room I was given a corner of bed to rest, where there was no privacy to feed the baby, to get hot water massage, to change, to talk to husband, nothing. About the other room, I was warned, dara dhamka ke rakha ki, bhoot pret hai , opari hai us room me, this drama was only for me. SIL and MIL used to sit and sleep there. Even I was not allowed to sit or sleep in that room but my MIL used to play with the baby in the same room. Also, a lot of taunts heard about my parents, not got sleep for many days, as when I tried to sleep, MIL starts playing with the baby, shouting . Also , she used to sit for 24 hrs in front of me on a folding bed. It was so depressing situation, she created such a situation ki I couldn't even talked to my husband for many days. Infact aisa lagta tha ki yeh mera husband hi nahi hai, main stranger ke saath reh rahi hu. Nobody asked me ki how I am even for a single day. No rest, no pinniyan, no ladoo, no mental peace, no proper maalish, nothing. My parents gifted me everything related to the baby from langot to cot, from clothes to wet wipes, bedding, playmat, gold, fixed deposit everything. Nothing much from my in laws side. They neither treated me well during pregnancy nor after delivery but haq pura jatate hai baby pe. I was treated worst than a maid throughout. After discharge when I came home, there was no arrangement for the baby, not even a single langot, everything I brought from my parents home. In a marriage of 6 years, I and my husband lived separately for more than 3 years, then I came back and planned for a baby hoping ki everything will get better as bade bhude says ki baccha ane se sab thik ho jata hai, but situations worst ho gayi. Only 25 days niche rahi wo bhi daily torture aur kalesh me, after that I came in my room upstairs. Now din me 5-6 chakkar minimum upar niche hote hi hai for washroom, breakfast, lunch, dinner etc. Still everyone say tune koi naya bacch paida kiya hai, tera roz ka drama hia, i still have my backpain due to anaesthesia given during operation but everyone treats it like a drama , stitches also hurts. Nobody cares, have cried and suffered a lot during my 40 days and after that too.
Most of these things happened with me too ... I'm really sorry for your suffering Bhagwan apko khub Shakti dein apna aur apne bachhe ka dhyan rkhne k liye .. never forget your parents always be there whenever they need you
Very true sir....I hv fought fr all dese things....in my time....I hv faced all dese issues... c-section delivery....it was very very tough time.... I m ...surprised...being a male....u r understanding dis...n explaing things things so nicely....😊 Thanks...
Very true! I had baby during covid and thankfully I had an easy way to have the required isolation and rest period to take proper care of my baby and myself. I am an NRI and here it is customary to only come over when parents have invited you over to avoid exposure to unintentional infection and annoyance of disturb feeding routine of the baby which is so important. Let the parents adjust to the period and enjoy this beautiful initial parenthood period. Kudos uncle ji for raising this!
My husband and I have already followed this but inlaws n parents got offended . They disconnected relationship with us. Just a message to new parents it is very much possible to take care of new baby and mother. Don't get into panic seek medical advice n hire nursing care. This is beginning of your new phase of life. If parents love you they will definitely come. Enjoy every moment. Happy parenting.
Mere first baby me to nind puri na hone ki vazah se mujhe one side head ache ho gaya tha jo one year raha . Meri daughter rat ko jagti subha 4 baje ke baad soti. Me bhi 4 baje soti and inlaws ki wazah se 7 o" clock uth jati. But second baby ke time mene kisi ki parwah nahi ki. Mene inlaws ke hisab se kam karna band kar dia and mujhse jitna hua utna kiya, nahi to chor dia.
My baby was born during covid na maa aayi na saas, thankfully had a normal delivery. it became a blessing koi b nai aa paya US mei hamare pas. Apna baccha khud paala with lot of breastfeeding and peace ✌️ today baby is 4 and she has a wonderful aura ❤ her connection with us is amazing, wo itna zada pyar krti hai humien aisa hamara b nai hai apne parents se 😮
Sir you are so correct! I recently became a father, and lay strict visiting guidelines amongst the family on both sides. But unfortunately, while the family and friends at my end agreed, my in-laws budged and every single one of them showed up at the hospital! I literally had to create a scene to stop them, the result is now I am the worst rishtedaar in my in laws family. While this dosnt effect me, what felt sad was that my wife who is usually very understanding and agrees with me, gave up on the day of delivery.
Mera bhi ek month pehle hi October mein c section se baby hua hai or is maamle mein I am lucky ki mere husband mere saath they or vo khud nhi chahte they ki koi baby ko dekhne aaye km se km do teen month tk or unhone khud mana kiya tha sabko aane ke liye yaha tk ki photos lene ke liye bhi or mere husband ne meri or baby ki bhut dekhbhaal bhi ki hai office se dus din ki chutti leke so I am lucky for having my husband in my life
Guruji, you are absolutely right. Excellent topic. Being a Gynecologist i see this trend. Big crowd comes to hosptal wards and keep fighting with security and ward staff. They don't give privacy to new mother and newborn.Because of visitors breast feeding of the baby jeopardizes. I keep Counselling the in laws and parents from 7th month of pregnancy Olden days, till 6 weeks mother and newborn were kept away from evven family members. Only one or two ladoes would attend them. It was a good practice togive physical and mental rest to mother, prevent them from infection from visitors and develop better mother and babybonding.
Superb!!!! Wish you or smone alike existed 24 yrs ago in life. That time wont come back but we can do much good for our kids atleast now..even for problems beyond this topic .
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please also speak about postpartum depression which is common in new mothers..
Sir Noida GDP -- 26 billion dollar
Gurgaon GDP -- 20 billion dollar
Why ???
Also make video on which investment scheme is good for newborn baby.
I am a pediatrician. What u r saying is 200 percent correct
Delivery hi toh bohot bada mauka hota hai sasural walo k liye jab bahu kamjor aur lachaar hai.Pura fayda uthaya jaata hai situation ka...
Bilkul sahi kaha..daya bhi nahi aati hai...
Itna deep topic ...😢 kya hi bole sir .... Dunia jahan ka pyaar or dikhawa krte h mere sasural wale mujhe lekar...lekin jo maine pregnancy or after birth jhhela na wo aapke ek ek shbd se match krta h....bhains ka sach m jyda dhyaan rkha jata h ...haryana m or bahu ka nhi😮
Aap next generation ke liye dhyan rakhna ki unke saath achha ho.
In south India there is a custom to not touch the baby and mother for 11 days. Only 1 or 2 caretakers r with them Separately. Bed is also separate for mom and baby.
Very good custom, atleast in custom’s name the health of newborn baby is safeguarded.
Our culture also does same. Woman is not bothered, there's consideration for personal space .
Also, here in south India, the delivery is done at mother's place. Not at in-laws home. And I've seen the south Indian ladies will be at mothers home for at least next 6 months. Stress-free for the young mother I feel.
It's also the same in North India specifically in Uttarakhand and Himachal, where nobody is allowed for 11 days 😮
I was lucky in this case, gave birth to my baby during corona time so no relatives allowed in hospital , even at home very few relatives came that too no one entered my room.
Had a full time japa maid and mother in law, husband took care of me very well
Did complete rest for first 40 days.❤
This is the time period of a woman's life which she will remember whole life., whether bad or good.
Me ro ro ke bata batake thak gai thi aapne husband ko yahi bat but no one understands, abhi mujhe dusra bachcha chahiye lekin vo din yad karke mujhe dar lagta he abhi,.... thank u so much Aisa laga ke me apni halat bata rahi hu kisiko
Same, just canteen se sasta saman lana hai ,mere pati ki paternity leave 5 days kha gye. Or laye kya baby gift pact around 266 Rs only. Kyuki or kuch ni mila😢 . No one can understand at that paticular time - LOVE can be define as CARE + RESPECT. Sas jaan bhuj ke karti hai unfortunate.
I can relate, plan a baby only after you are sure this time hope your man will take a stand.
Same here ...meri beti 9 years ki ho jaayegi...par maine jo bhi uss time saha hai c section ho jaane ke baad bas tabhi decide kar liya tha ki nahi chahiye 2nd baby...koi paani bhi nahi poochta tha except husband..
Mujhe bahut khushi hai, ki meri delivery normal hui, aur mere sasur ji ne mujhe 8 days hospital ke hi, lekin distant room mein rakhwaya, jismein aane wale guests ke liye sifa vagaifh bhi the, aur ye kafi bada area tha, hamari joint family thi, us waqt, mere puchhne par, ki, pitaji main ghar kab jaungi, to bole, kuchh din आराम से रहो, ghar se meri sasu maa bahut baar aate rahe, jabki vo paralysed thi, un dono ko beti ki tamnna bahut thi, dono khush ho gaye the, beti dekhkar. Ab to dono bhi nahi hain lekin un ka pyar aur dhyan rakhna kabhi nahi bhool sakti.
Un dono jaisa koi nahi bn sakta.
Vaise hum Haryana se hi belong karte hain.
Jo bhi parents 30s me hai unhone to dekh liya hai baby ke paravarish me dono side ke mammi papa kitna sath dete hai, abandon kar rakha hai apne hi baccho ko, dekh lo tum log hi, job bhi baccha bhi, women ki career ki to vat lagati hai seriously, hame dusare bacche k liye koyi incentives hai hi nahi. The sad thing is that no one is caring about the situation in our society. Sir apne very important issues raise kiye hai iski charcha ek yuddh ki tarah honi chahiye.
I too have faced such issues after my baby was born. My ex husband’s some relatives came in hospital the same day my baby was born and some came to our house on the day I was discharged from the hospital. My ex husband didn’t take stand for me and did what his mother was telling him to do. He along with his mother disrespected me and my mother and demanded gifts for his own relatives for the birth of my baby. Due to these issues combined with issues like extra marital affair of my ex husband and demand of money after my baby was born, we are divorced. I couldn’t stand the disrespect he did to me & my family. Sadly, people especially in North India still have preference for boy child. Perhaps, my ex husband & his family would have tried to resolve the issues that arose, if boy child was born.
Were you in a job or a housewife at that time ?
Why you are quoting issue of your family with all of North India. That's bad. We and in my 10000 people circle, we don't have these issues. Now what
Nice to hear He is your Ex-Husband!!
Be strong stay strong!!
@@Optimistic_aspirant If inlaws demanding gifts ??? what that pathetic habit need to do with your job or status ?? why they r asking gifts ??
@@lotusvines3698Why the in laws are asking money and gifts from girl's family at birth of child? This is a north Indian thing, might be some south Indian also, but why north Indians are feeling offended when it is pointed out that they ask gifts from girl's family.
mai jab maa bani thi mere sath bhi yehi hua tha , mujhe to dengue bhi ho gaya tha , fir bhi ye pooja hai isme to baithna hi padega aisa bola gaya tha , na chahte huye bhi , photo me dikh raha hai ki artificial zabardasti ka smile kar rahi hu , so ni pate the hum , shor itna , meri mummy gai 15 days me , mai kaam pe resume ho gai ghar ke kaam pe , jab mai bed me thi , to saas bolti ki tujhe humare liye karna chahiye jab ki hum tere liye kaar rahe hai , wo bhi ek bar halwa banaya tha mere liye , tab , aur bhi bahut bitter yaade hai us time ki , ek baccha kar liya ab firse wo helpless wali situation me dobara jana hi ni hai , koi kuch bhi kar le , dekh liya sabka alsi chehra us time , hubby ne jitna hua sath diya 7 days tak fir to unko bhi dengue ho gaya tha
Aap next generation ke liye dhyan rakhna ki unke saath achha ho.
😢
सही है, कुछ करो तो गलत कुछ न करो तो गलत । ऐसी ही मेरी भी हालत हो गई है । पेरेंट्स को कोई समझा नहीं सकता।
Yhi hota h…mere bhi normal delivery hui thi. Niche tanke bhi aaye the…but baithna jameen pr hi h😢😢😢
c -section ke 5th day dengue hua severe wala, 13 oct ko c section delivery, 2 nov se ghar ke sare kaam karna shuru , coz taut marti thi saas
Excellent sir. I am a pediatrician mom myself, doctor husband. Can totally relate to this , despite knowing every fact couldnot avoid all this. You are such a great eye opener. Thanks
Each word is bitter Truth
Paternity leave office se approve ho bhi jaaye toh family se approve honi Zaruri hai.
You r eye opener for everyone
Me too
हुआ है जी बिल्कुल.
हमने झेला है ये सब.
पर खुशी है कि बहु को पूरी स्पेस दे पाए🙏
Went through a lot of kalesh which traumatised me to the point i separated from my husband when baby was 6 months. Some people have sick mentality and sadly it doesn’t change.
Bhot kalesh hua. I too fight back. I didn't allow any pooja. Husband full support in-laws. And the matter reached to a divorce. Now the thing becomes normal. Let see what happened next.
The first right on baby is of mother
Mera beta abbhi 17 saal ka he...lekin ye same situation mene face ki thi.. I was very shy at that time....and due to ill treatment of my inlaws I didn't plan a second baby....me apki fan ban gyi guruji😢
All Indians join this course if you even not married to understand dynamics of it
Whatever you said, it’s worse than that.. not even in middle class.. good earning educated people do that. I live in Sweden,when I gave birth, I called my mom for help for the first 40 days. But after that it was my husband, here in Europe both partners get good parental leave with wfh option available… I got joint issues after delivery.. but my husband said I am exaggerating ’ tu koi pehli aurat nhi h jis r bacha paida kiya h’ I took care of baby alone whole night, but still he was angry with me for not waking up early and cooking breakfast ( lunch and dinner I was cooking). He treated me like trash.. instead of emotional support, he abused me emotionally during that time because I was dependent on him little bit physically. Gave me silent treatment and what not.. I was equally earning but I was on maternity break and he said ’ tujhe ek saal free khana khilaya h’ I was thinking- jo bhi khaya uska bache ko doodh pila diya hoga…. Anyways we are not together anymore. But the one year after the child birth was the reason for divorce. I supported him all through his life, just needed a little emotional support from him after the birth, but husband or in-laws don’t give that. 😢
He is a narcissist. You did a good job leaving him
This is sad... Good thing u are not with him anymore
Good to know u guys are not together anymore
He may be a narcissist, silent treatment narcissist do that.
Yes he was definitely narcissist ,you are lucky to escape from his clutch
Working mothers ke saath toh in-laws cooperate nahi karte. Maternity leave ke baad woh join nahi kar pati. Even inlaws expect gifts from newly mother' s parents in the form of "chuchak".
Same to me 😢😢
@@shitalkumari1724 Bhai job jaruri hai ya apne husband ki family ?
Job@@RahulBaliAstrology
@@RahulBaliAstrology jab husband ki family ke liye wo lady jaruri nhi hain to uske liye ladke ki family kyu ho????
@@AM-nx2iw main toh kahunga ki family hi jaruri hai. Job koi bharosa nahi kon kab aapko job se nikaal se, layoff kar de. Toh soch lo samajh lo.. fir decision lo.
C-section walo ko phir bhi thoda privilege milta hai ...normal delivery wali bechari jinhe neeche stiches lage hain..unse to alag hi expectation hoti hai ki dusre teesre din se kaam pe lag jaye kyunki normal delivery hai...dard aur takleef dono hi process me hai..
Right
Right words.... And everyone call unnecessary....even no vedio call should be allowed..... Aur kon kitna pyar karta hai 1 -2 saal main sab pata chal jata hai .,..
1) Lack of privacy and elder men and kids in family constantly entering japa room without even knocking
2) Constant comparison and belittling by old women "humane to 4-4 kiye. Humane to 2-2 saal doodh pilaya. Hamare to bina baai naukar ke pal gaye." Every day random women from village gather around and start their own stories and judgement.
3) Constant pressure to maintain a certain diet. "1 litre doodh piyo. Ye wale laddu khao. Ghee piyo. Khatta mat khao"
4) Nonsense rituals for babies. Kala teeka kala dhaga kajal tabeez and similar ugly Islamic things. Gutti pilao gripe water pilao. Baba ke Darshan karwane le jao. Nazar utarwao. Most of these things are torchure to the baby.
@4. None of those are Islamic things madam
Women's issue ke video pe bhi nafrat phaila lo pehle
@EssamFasih islam and women's issue in one line doesn't sound right. 😑
@@chillshaily1 If you ask an average firangi toh 'India' and 'women's issues' also don't sound right in the same line. But does that mean all of India is misogynistic?
Itne educative channel pe toh thoda try to rise above hate and bias
@@EssamFasih call it what you will. I know it for a fact that there is no concept of "nazar" in Hindu traditions, (consequentially tabeez dhaga etc. are also foreign). It's an Islamic byproduct and best avoided cos we don't need such fear mongering and blackmail in our lives.
I am very proud of myself. I informed my organisation well in advance about the paternity leaves. I took 3 months of leaves to support my wife and baby. I was only one who availed such amount of leaves.
Btw i work in Australia and once you quote a valid reason they manage workforce to make leaves available.
This should also get replicated in India.
I am happy that i was able to support my little one and my wife.
I agree with guruji 100%.
My baby is 4 months old (first child) and I can totally relate to this. I strictly told my mother-in-law that none of her friends will come n see the child or take the child in godi. Once she did it, n my child cried like hell. She got the lesson also.
So true..i had a difficult post partum too..c section ke baad bht din tak i could not sleep and jab bhi jaise taise neend aane lagti thi tbhi saas neend se uthakr video call pr baat krne bol deti thi apne rishtedaro se..jb ek din patience khtm hogya toh irritation hogyi and husband ko bol dia k uski mummy k wajah se neend khrab hoti h..uski mummy uss din se har kisi ko meri acting krke dikhati h k kaise neend disturb hone pr ye pagal jaise behave krti h n rone lgti h..muje ye tak bola gaya ki muje dimag k ilaaj ki zarurat h and bccha mere sath safe nai..and fir wohi ehsan ke dekh hum kitna dhyan rkh rhe h tera..tuje b aise rkhna hoga hmara..problem is husband ne kabhi mera stand nai liya in sb mein
I empathize with you sister...
So sad dear. So sad to see this state of women in our country.
Didi husband ko free ki maid chahaiye sirf wife toh sirf label hai
I feel sad for u
There is no need to do c section, do it naturally then everything will be fine
Im 5 months pregnant and working full time.and my saas doesnt want maid and cook ....wants me to do everything in my own....batao aurat ko akal hi nahi hai. Husband ko kuch aata nahi hai but atleast woh 1 time bartan kar deta hai....usme bhi muhje sunna padta hai...
Very nice topic kuch Grandparents to bus sabko bulane main hi lag jate hain
Ma ki koi chinta hi nahi🎉
Excellent very relatable video. Parents and relatives are really making lives toxic these days. Men need to step and speak up.
We women , during and after pregnancy expect nothing except our husband and in laws to be sensitive towards us and be by our side. That's it. Believe me. That's all.
Just because your mother and her previous generations have faced the trauma of dealing with insensitive people, doesn't mean you have to pass it on further. It has to stop somewhere.
जो बुजुर्ग महिला ऐसा बोले कि पहले तो यूँ ही बच्चे हो जाते थे और पल जाते थे तो उनको जवाब देना चाहिए कि जैसे यूँ ही पैदा हो जाते थे तो वैसे ही यूँ ही मर भी जाते थे। और जैसे यूँ ही पल जाते थे तो वैसे ही वो बच्चे शराबी, जुआरी, नशेड़ी, अपराधी, नार्सिसिस्ट ,और डिप्रेशन के शिकार भी बन जाते थे।
Sir 2002 me jab mera beta hua ghar me koi privacy nhi, regular kalesh, bilkul mere paas TV chalta tha, kitchen ke bartano ki itni tej aawaj or husband ka bilkul alag rahna...ye sab jhela hai 😊 or ye bhi suna tune hi Nandlal paida kiya hai 😊
In Maharashtra, 40 days "Suyer" after childbirth and similarly 40 days "Sutak" after a death in family. Although given religious branding, the real reason behind it is medical to avoid infections, diseases and germs!
It’s for all Hindus all across India. I can speak about Uttarakhand
meri shadi maharashtra me hui hai , mujhe aisa kuch ni mila , 13 oct child birth by c- section , 20 oct dengue detect hua, 2 oct ko mom gai meri apne ghar , us din se maine ghar ke kaam resume kiya , even handa with water bhi leke ati thi gate se kitchen tak , chai banao morning me 4 bar wo bhi sabka taste different , dopahar ko 2 bar sham ko 4 bar different taste ke , bacche ke sath acche se first 6 month guzare hi ni maine , ek to ye relative old people , unke tv dekhne ka shauk , away se hum rest bhi ni kar pate the 15 din bhi ni
@@UpashreeMandal Sorry for you. Ye purane rules the. Naye jamane me har family follow nahi karte, kya kare!
sir content is always practical and very relevant.
one feedback thumbnails old original were best new ones are not good.
thanks
My baby faced health issue by visit from relatives. I got sick had high fever cold body pain . My baby too had the same and needed to be admitted to NICU. Baby was just 30 days. The doctor there told small babies do not have sufficient immunity to fight . The baby has gun with no bullets. It's really risky I felt so sick angry sad after this. This happened shortly after one of the relatives visited and held baby.
I totally agree with you, Meru badi beti ke time Meri saas ne itna pareshan kiya ki 22 din me Maine some husband ko bola tha ki ya to Muje mere mayke chod ke aap ya fir main khud bacha leke drive Karke chali Jaugi… I don’t understand these customs 12th day naming ceremony karna hai, bahçe ko jhule me dalna hai, height was ki 12 days me mundan karna hai bahçe ka… I let other things happen but had to fight for Mundan.. Ki pagal ho tüm log itne chote bacha hai tumhe Mundan ki padi hai.. Ki ear peiercing 12 se 20 din me kardo baad me issue hoga… Pagal log Bhare pade hain samaj me .. 1 Rs ki akal nahi hai…
Doctor bolte hain 6 month bahçe ko jhule me mat daalo hamare logo ko 12 din me dalna hai…
Poore anpadh gawar aur bahuyo ko bölege ki tumhe kya pata…
That’s why in my second Delievery I said NO that koi nahi Aayega.. Main maid laga lugi full time but in-laws nahi Chahiye… Jis time shanti Chahiye us time hi poora stress de denge…
Sir ne ye baat kafi sahi kahi ki new mother ko pampering karo and kuch gold ya gehna do..aaj lady nahi karna chahti bache because she knows ki at the end use hi har chize suffer and compromise karni padti hai..compare to men..emotionally mentally physically socially and financially..while men are the least affected..and jab use itna kuch sacrifice karna hota hai bacche ke liye isiliye aaj bache zimmedari lagte hai bahut badi.
My son was only 1 month & 15 days old when my inlaws took me for kuldevi darshan. I had severe back pain and mentally annoyed by their behavior. At least my parents should stop them. After that I told them don't do any navas on my or my childs name as I will not come again. Whenever I remember thoes days I felt so bad for my son as I had developed anger issue due to postpartum depression. I felt guilty, i feel i have not enjoyed my motherhood & his childhood. Now on the way of healing. I want to be a mother again, I want to have a child again but don't want any of my inlaws or even my parents with me in that period
Excellent video. My 2 months baby got diarrhoea, as one of the relatives put her dirty fingers in baby's mouth in the name of playing with her. No visitor rule should be applied for new babies till 3 months at least.
What kind of demented people do this ? What kind of game is that?
Hamare yah to ulta hota h sir...ap keh rhe ho 5 tole sona do bahu ne chirag diya h ghar ko...yaha to ulta 5 tole bahu se le lete h or nanad ko de dete h ki nanand ayi h caretaker bankar...or wo nanad kitni care krti h yeh sab bahuye janti h wo 40 din me jo hota h...bahu bacha b paida kare 40 din sab jhele or duniya bhar ka sona nanad ko de..apki video sir h to badhiya ..par bhej di mere in-laws k pas to agle hi moment ghar se out
Exactly sir!!! I faced huge issues because of this......
Bohot problems hui all pregnancy and post also.....
Was tioo stresses and tensed...
Noone supported....infact everyibe was cursing me including my husbnd
Exactly..... it's not culture... only exploitation..
Mere saath b aisa hi hua tha 2 bacche dono c section se.... ab me sochi bhi nai. Jaisi meri haalat rhi, bagwaan kiski ko itna trauma na de...Disko bhi depression hua hai plzz Bahar Nikko depression se....mne 5 Saal dediye bacchon ko garr ko family ko, lekin Kaddar nai hui. Ab Bass hogya muh me zubaan bhi aagai, aur dimmag me akal bhi aagai. Khudd akelle aana jaana Shuru kr dia jo bda relaxing lagta hai......ab life Patri pe hai😅
भाई साहब आप सच कह रहे हो क्लेश मचा रखा है ये रिवाज के नाम पर जीना हराम है
So true… when i went for my 180 days maternity leave, my in laws after 40 days were expecting me to do all the household works
I totally relate. Thank you for the awareness to new parents…
Bahot kalesh .... Sabki jealousy aur kaafi zadaya ristedar ka interference
Merko mere husband ka mama bol raha tha ki tu darwaza khole doodh pela kyuki mother in law ko achha nahi lag ta ki darwaza baand ho.
Aur husband lapata
And I am an educated working woman at a good corporate
Chappal se kone me dho do
Jo karne ko mana kare, aur karo
Dear plzzz divorced him asap!!
I went to my mother's house for 3 months
And I remember more horrible stuff.
When I was 8 months, one morning in front of my husband my MIL asks me that, "merko apna bacha de gi na? " I said ki dadi ho aap dadi ka sara kaam karo ge.
Ye sun ke mera husband room se uth ke bhaar chala gaya gussa ho kar. I went after him asking why are you angry and I got no response.
I don't know what was wrong with them.
Sahi kha very true bhu ki bjay bhans ka jyada khayal rakhte h
Women get maternity leave for 6 months and it is for taking care of the child and mother, instead of that mother is expected to do saas sasur ki seva for those 6 months and meanwhile saas sasur wants to just play with the baby without taking any responsibility either physical or financial. Also babies gets sick due to unhealthy habits of grandparents.
jitna jaldi ho sake bahu ko kitchen me bhejo bhai🙄
mother says "dear lord, dont let my daughter suffer like i did"
mother in law says" if i suffered why cant you suffer "
post partum is like hell. i got so much trauma .
Life me pahli baar itni sahi or logical video dekhi h this really need in our society 👌🏻😇😇🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am a Doctor and mother of twins. After delivery, what you said happened with me. What hurt the most was my husband didn't participate in the childcare. On top of it, SaaS bahu serial. It is indeed very traumatic experience. It affected the time, I should be happy with my children. In all that tension, lactation failed...😢
Very good sir shukr hai koi toh bola ki boys or papa has to change
You are eye opener for society...har kisi k dil ki baat aap kehte ho..
Great video Sir! Love listening and learning from you.
i wish i could share it with whole india... this is life saving video
Sir apko bohot bohot dhanyawad iss tarah k topic ko lana hi ektarah ka Eureka moment hai samaj k liye. Aapke liye respect aur badh gya. Im sharing this video at my capacity.
100 % agree and suffered all this nonsense 🙌🏻
Thank you sir
😢i have no words for this video i also faced lot of traumatic things in first pregnancy and after delivery and in second pregnancy can't even explain in some words😢😢 just behave like a human with other human beings please
Mere case mein toh itna Kalesh kiya meri saas ne ..can’t tell you in words Guru ji …nanad ko chorh ke dewar ne saas ne Sasur ne sab ne itna torture kiya ke muje delivery naam se nafrat ho gyi h ….itna emotional turbulence create kar diya tha mere andar…that too with my twin pregnancy..most difficult phase of my life.Husband ko bhi mana kiya tha care karne ke liye but he supports me in my second delivery.
And one more thing mere sasural waali side no 40 days wala system .woh 12 days pe hi chota sa function kar k Kaam karne ko bolte h ghar ka …it’s V sad ke sab torture bhi muje ek aurat ne hi diya h ..gehri peeda 😢
I agree 💯%
Family group par aise video share karo to jawab milta hai ki Insta , UA-cam Gyan k liye use mat karo...sirf entertainment k liye karo!
Bilkul sahi bol rahe hain app
Dr Saheb ap ekdam thik bol rahe hey,thank u🙏
saas to bolti thi ki kaam na karna pade isliye doodh peelane ke bahane room me baith jati hai , mai kis situation se guzar rahi thi kisine pocha ni , milk kum ane laga tha because mai childbirth ke 6 th day se hospitalized thi dengue hua tha milk waha to aake girta tha , bt jab ghar wapas ai to kum ho gaya tha 10 days me to i was trying ki mere bacche ko natural mother's milk zyada se zyada mile , formula dete the hu zyada but mujhe wo itna thik ni lagta tha , bt ye situation samajhke ni li , jabki 3 kaam wali bai thi humare ghar me fir me mere hath se kaam hona chahiye tha saas wanted that , is i'nt it a torcher?
3 maid thi toh fir aisa konsa kaam bach rha tha jo aapki saas aapke haatho se karaana chahti thi ! 🤔
Bro ek din garam dudh uske upar gira do!!
@@thenuachai mere hath ka , pani ka glass tak khud ke hath se ni lete the In laws
It's not about saas real culprit is husband jo kaam involve hota hai so that usko kuch krna na paare
@@UpashreeMandal 🤦🏻♂️ ye haath ki chai kya hota hai mujhe aajtak samajh nhi aaya, ingredients toh wahi rahenge chahe koi bhi banaaye, aur agar basic tasks bhi khud nhi karenge toh baithe-baithe poori body ki muscles akad jaayengi aur body ke upar zara sa impact aane se bhi injury ho jaayegi,
jahan in-laws acche hote hain wahan bahu acchi nhi hoti aur jahan in-laws bure hote hain wahan bahu acchi hoti hai 😂 ek hamari bhabhi hai poora din phone main ghusi rehti hain, mammi bhi koi kaam nhi deti unhe par tab bhi unko har time kuch na kuch drama karna hota hai, koi bhi occasions hote hain uspe expensive gifts aur jwellery bhi dete rehte hain ham log, khaane-peene ki ghoomne firne ki har cheez ki azaadi mili huyi hai tab bhi zara sa koi argument bhi ho toh Police report karne ki dhamki deti rehti hain 😅 unse sirf ek cheez expect ki jaati hai ki khush raho aur doosro ko bhi khush rehne do agar koi problem hai toh bta do ham help karne ki koshish karenge agar hamse koi problem hai toh ham uska koi solution karenge lekin bhagwan jaane unhe kis cheez se khushi milti hai 😔
I can relate this corona ke time mai b aisa hua krta tha mjhe gussa ata tha jb mere bete ko koi hath lgata tha qki sach mai koi saf safai nhi or khud ki halat krab thi bs bebas ho ke dekhti thi
Or b bht sari chije thi jisse postpartum depression mai phonchi thi
Koi help ni krta tha ek hi bacha pehla hi bacha ple ladka chahiye vo b hogya toh usme b burai kamiyaan nikalti thi mil bht dukh hota tha c sec mai roti thi stitches b dukhte the husband alag sote the puri rat koi bche ko n dekhta tha toilet door tha rat ko vha tk phonchne k liye mjhe ( dande)stick k sahare jana pdta tha bache ki laundary vala kam b bht muskil se hota tha induction p khud k liye dal dhudh khichdi bnati thi
Na koi nehlata tha 7-7 din hojate the minnate krte hue sas se or sare kapde breast milk se gande hojate the na bedsheet change krta tha koi or still care n hone ki vajah se delivery k 4 sal bad b sarer recover ni hopaya bht chije krab hogyi h body mai
Mjhe b sunna pdta tha k humare toh 4 bache Ghar Mai hue h hospital mai q jana bla -2
Bhut hi acha video h sir. Please make a video on vo 40 din😊 on japa. No one knows how to treat a new mother😢
When i gave birth my elder son just one month ago my own mother died in a road accident. After delivery i got panic attacks and went through heavy stress. But no one took care of my mental and physical health. All time buss baccha aur relatives. Continues i was having heavy bleeding till three months. But my in laws never consulted to the doctors.
Sir also make video on how to tackle post partum depression
Paternity leave bhi 1 se 3 mahina compulsory honi chahiye India.
Finland mai 2 saal ki hai
Read the book The Boy crisis
Yes. Seriously 👍👍👍👍
Sir 1 mahina to kr do, abhi 15 days hai
3days he ro ro k Diya company ne
5 days h bas
70 hours work week kehne wale ko bhukhar a jayega 😂😂
bahut badiya .aapki video sahi hai aise hi hita hai aur abhi tak hi raha .thanks sir😊
Sir Rajasthan m bhi hota hai saas hardly 40 din care krti hai muh suja kr jaise bahoot bda ahshan kr rhi hai mere sath aise hi hua tha meri 7 month ki baby hai
Odisha me 12 din tak isolation ka culture. Non veg and even touch is barred from outside people. Even deity worshipping is stopped.
On the 21 days there happens a ceremony where people get to see the child and bless.
Same in Andhra.
11 days we actually follow the rituals of a death ceremony.
Nobody comes in.
Nobody goes out.
Khana yaa toh bahar se koi bhijwata hai ya you can make on your own.
No prayers or diya.
Not even family members except grandmother touch the baby.
Nobody goes into the mother and baby’s room except a helper or grandmother to help the mother.
The baby and mother are sponge bathed.
On 11th day garma garam pani se nehlakar hi kisiko dekhne ya touch karne dete hai
Such a great video, itna sahi kha h aaj k time yehi ho rha h hospital 🏥 me sab milne chale aate h ......bas apni attendance lgwane
Dear nhi jaaye to koi bolte h aaye bhi nhi , meri nanad ki delivery Hui to hum vhi thi pura din Raat ko gye vaapis , agle din humne socha ki uski family h kyo jyada bheed ki hospital me , to meri nanad ne drama bna diya is baat kaa ki aaye kyo nhi agle din fir hum next day gye
बिल्कुल सही बात कही है आपने सर जी हमारे इंडियन के कलचर इतने मूर्खता पूर्ण है कि मुझे तो इसे इतनी नफरत है और इस वजह से ना मैं शादी करना चाहती हूं ना बच्चे एक वूमेन की लाइफ कितनी मुश्किलों पर होती है पर उसे कोई इज्जत नहीं मिलती उसकी।
Mere saath bhi hua hai. After C-section 5 days govt hospital me hospitalised thi. Got very good treatment and care over there. My mother and husband was with me at that time. After discharge, my SIL took care for next 7 days. As I came home, a severe kalesh happened within 2-3 days. MIL and husband asked to give the baby and shouted on me to leave home. In a house of 2 rooms, in 1 room I was given a corner of bed to rest, where there was no privacy to feed the baby, to get hot water massage, to change, to talk to husband, nothing. About the other room, I was warned, dara dhamka ke rakha ki, bhoot pret hai , opari hai us room me, this drama was only for me. SIL and MIL used to sit and sleep there. Even I was not allowed to sit or sleep in that room but my MIL used to play with the baby in the same room. Also, a lot of taunts heard about my parents, not got sleep for many days, as when I tried to sleep, MIL starts playing with the baby, shouting . Also , she used to sit for 24 hrs in front of me on a folding bed. It was so depressing situation, she created such a situation ki I couldn't even talked to my husband for many days. Infact aisa lagta tha ki yeh mera husband hi nahi hai, main stranger ke saath reh rahi hu. Nobody asked me ki how I am even for a single day. No rest, no pinniyan, no ladoo, no mental peace, no proper maalish, nothing. My parents gifted me everything related to the baby from langot to cot, from clothes to wet wipes, bedding, playmat, gold, fixed deposit everything. Nothing much from my in laws side. They neither treated me well during pregnancy nor after delivery but haq pura jatate hai baby pe. I was treated worst than a maid throughout. After discharge when I came home, there was no arrangement for the baby, not even a single langot, everything I brought from my parents home. In a marriage of 6 years, I and my husband lived separately for more than 3 years, then I came back and planned for a baby hoping ki everything will get better as bade bhude says ki baccha ane se sab thik ho jata hai, but situations worst ho gayi. Only 25 days niche rahi wo bhi daily torture aur kalesh me, after that I came in my room upstairs. Now din me 5-6 chakkar minimum upar niche hote hi hai for washroom, breakfast, lunch, dinner etc. Still everyone say tune koi naya bacch paida kiya hai, tera roz ka drama hia, i still have my backpain due to anaesthesia given during operation but everyone treats it like a drama , stitches also hurts. Nobody cares, have cried and suffered a lot during my 40 days and after that too.
Most of these things happened with me too ... I'm really sorry for your suffering Bhagwan apko khub Shakti dein apna aur apne bachhe ka dhyan rkhne k liye .. never forget your parents always be there whenever they need you
Very true
Thank you for putting this issue on social media
Immediately sharing with friends and family
Very true sir....I hv fought fr all dese things....in my time....I hv faced all dese issues... c-section delivery....it was very very tough time....
I m ...surprised...being a male....u r understanding dis...n explaing things things so nicely....😊
Thanks...
Bahut achcha video hai👏👏👏👏aur aapne bahut achcha topic choose Kiya hai..hats off to you for wonderful explanation 👍...God bless you sir🙏🌼🌼
This topic is so much important and thank God it's been discussed by intellectual person in such a good way..
Very true! I had baby during covid and thankfully I had an easy way to have the required isolation and rest period to take proper care of my baby and myself. I am an NRI and here it is customary to only come over when parents have invited you over to avoid exposure to unintentional infection and annoyance of disturb feeding routine of the baby which is so important. Let the parents adjust to the period and enjoy this beautiful initial parenthood period. Kudos uncle ji for raising this!
This video was much needed Sir. So much respect for you ❤
My husband and I have already followed this but inlaws n parents got offended . They disconnected relationship with us.
Just a message to new parents it is very much possible to take care of new baby and mother. Don't get into panic seek medical advice n hire nursing care. This is beginning of your new phase of life. If parents love you they will definitely come. Enjoy every moment. Happy parenting.
Haryana or japa par jaroor banaiye video mai bhi pidit rahi hun haryana ki saas k saath
Mere first baby me to nind puri na hone ki vazah se mujhe one side head ache ho gaya tha jo one year raha . Meri daughter rat ko jagti subha 4 baje ke baad soti. Me bhi 4 baje soti and inlaws ki wazah se 7 o" clock uth jati. But second baby ke time mene kisi ki parwah nahi ki. Mene inlaws ke hisab se kam karna band kar dia and mujhse jitna hua utna kiya, nahi to chor dia.
U just nailed it sir....i cudnt hold back myself from msging you even till the end of the vedio..shashtang anmaskar apko ...
My baby was born during covid na maa aayi na saas, thankfully had a normal delivery. it became a blessing koi b nai aa paya US mei hamare pas. Apna baccha khud paala with lot of breastfeeding and peace ✌️ today baby is 4 and she has a wonderful aura ❤ her connection with us is amazing, wo itna zada pyar krti hai humien aisa hamara b nai hai apne parents se 😮
Sir you are so correct! I recently became a father, and lay strict visiting guidelines amongst the family on both sides. But unfortunately, while the family and friends at my end agreed, my in-laws budged and every single one of them showed up at the hospital! I literally had to create a scene to stop them, the result is now I am the worst rishtedaar in my in laws family. While this dosnt effect me, what felt sad was that my wife who is usually very understanding and agrees with me, gave up on the day of delivery.
You are the one person who really gives clarity. You are really India's no. 1 clarity giver. Please continue making videos. Thanks a lot
Mera bhi ek month pehle hi October mein c section se baby hua hai or is maamle mein I am lucky ki mere husband mere saath they or vo khud nhi chahte they ki koi baby ko dekhne aaye km se km do teen month tk or unhone khud mana kiya tha sabko aane ke liye yaha tk ki photos lene ke liye bhi or mere husband ne meri or baby ki bhut dekhbhaal bhi ki hai office se dus din ki chutti leke so I am lucky for having my husband in my life
Totally true and I concur with your thoughts.
दोनों जापे ऐसे बिगड़े कि पूरी ज़िंदगी बीमारियों के हवाले हो गयी है 😢
पर कोशिश रहेगी कि अपनी बेटी और बहु के जापे अच्छे निकलें 🙏
Guruji, you are absolutely right. Excellent topic. Being a Gynecologist i see this trend. Big crowd comes to hosptal wards and keep fighting with security and ward staff. They don't give privacy to new mother and newborn.Because of visitors breast feeding of the baby jeopardizes. I keep Counselling the in laws and parents from 7th month of pregnancy
Olden days, till 6 weeks mother and newborn were kept away from evven family members. Only one or two ladoes would attend them. It was a good practice togive physical and mental rest to mother, prevent them from infection from visitors and develop better mother and babybonding.
Ha ji ye bilkul hota hai aap sahi kah rahe hai
Thank you sir for bringing this topic. Only you speak in favour of ladies.
You are absolutely right
Mza aa gya, it's very real topic of society
Each n every word of video is true..agree fully
My relatives have a bad habit of giving currency notes in hand of new born. I told my masi to not do it she said jyada mat bann.
Superb!!!! Wish you or smone alike existed 24 yrs ago in life. That time wont come back but we can do much good for our kids atleast now..even for problems beyond this topic .
Sir thank you apne ye point uthaya. 👏👏🥺 I had gone through all that pain.. my tears rolled out while watching this video.
Jai Ho sir ji. Aapne dil ki baat bol di. Simple se samjha diya.
Very knowledgeable, thanks.