Hi everyone! Happy Easter! I can't believe this is potentially part 1 of 3! yikes. Like I wrote in the description of this video, I thought long and hard about cutting the final part out, but I have left it in. I want to show that life isn't always perfect and you have to accept the good as well as the bad. I think social media can be a particularly challenging place for this. So here, as usual, is the real and genuine me xxx
WavyKate Thank you for sharing. I’m not a parent but hope to have children in future and really appreciate honest views of what parenting can be like. Keep being real 😊
you're welcome, it was a tough one for me as I don't want my videos to be miserable! but at the end of the day, it was the reality of the situation. Thank you for the taking the time to comment xxx
I'm a working mom of three so I completely understand being totally sleep deprived and exhausted. The smallest things will set me off and I will cry at anything! And all moms want the best for their children. You so desperately want them to be wonderful independent adults when they grow up and it's very difficult when they struggle. Right now I'm going through the struggle with my 13 year old and algebra at school. Just know you're not alone. ❤❤❤
I want so badly to crawl thru the screen and give you a hug. What a lovely mama you are. Your little guy is so blessed to have you. All my babes are over 30 now, and have babes of their own. I know it’s not helpful to you now, but try not to worry too much. There are all sorts of people, and he will grow to be what’s meant to be. And I’m betting that will be a lovely, kind and compassionate person just like his parents. This world surely needs more people that are sensitive to what’s around them... it would be a kinder place. My “mama’s boy” is now a doctor who works with the elderly. No doubt your little one will find his place too.
Thank you so much! I was so close to not including it, but I feel so close to so many of you now, I just wanted to share that moment. It is helpful, reading a lovely comment such as yours is enormously helpful, so thank you so very much! Yes, I think you are right actually, it's just so hard when in a roomful of children acting 'perfectly' he just didn't want to know. Ahhh bless your Mama's boy. Thank you again xxxxx
Hi Kate, thanks for sharing your thoughts, even when you feel sad. Life is not perfect, and social media tend to always show the good moments. Do not worry about your little boy. Mine had an horrible first year of pre-school, crying every day when his father would leave him (even at that time, I worked a long way from home and had to take my train very early in the morning). We, as parents, felt guilty and desperate. Then time went on, and he became more and more at ease with people in general. He made a lot of friends, and had a very good scholarship. Now he's a young brilliant engineer 😊. So do not worry: time is your best partner. Give your little boy all the love and attention he deserves, and everything will go smoothly. And give yourself the right to feel good or bad! Have an amazing month of April!
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. The type of parent I am very much falls into the nurturing/attached variety, it’s all too easy to blame yourself and think you’re doing things wrong. I remember feeling similarly desperate when he slept terribly, it’s only been in the last few months he’s slept a lot better. That was definitely a case of things just taking their time. No one can prepare you for how hard it is, how tired you’ll be or how challenged you’ll feel. I decided to keep it in as I wanted others to see another side of parenthood. Thank you again, you give me much hope for the future xxxx
It's okay. Sometimes we just get overwhelmed as a mom, and the little things just really upset us. We all cry about things that later we feel silly crying about. It will pass. :) Maybe he just has stage fright. I just want to give you a hug and tell you it'll be okay. :) Hang in there! Just remember, a good cry will make you feel better, but destroy your makeup! lol! Here's the plan: get it all out of your system with a good cry, clean yourself up and freshen your makeup, make a cup of tea, and then call your mum and listen to her tell you she loves you and everything will work out fine. Oh yes, and try to think of something good. You know, like....at least he doesn't suck his thumb, so no oral surgery and braces! :)
Aww thank you SO much! sleep deprivation was definitely a part of it. Any other day, I think I would have reacted differently. I hugged him and reassured him as usual but he was just having an off day. LOL, I managed to clean myself up a bit and meet my friends for a therapeutic hot chocolate and brie/bacon panini afterwards. It was only for an hour or so, we laughed and had a lovely time and it did me the world of good. Oh yikes!! are you speaking from experience with that? my sister used to suck her thumb, but luckily it didn't affect her teeth. xxx
My lovely Friend Kate. You know me and my son. I have been just like you too. And sometimes still am. He suffers from anxiety and had done for years ( about 7 years) he is now 14 as you know. He isnt a 'joiner' either. When things are more settled my end i will give you a buzz for a chat. We have some coping techniques and i have an amazing book that is aimed at children. Xxxx
In Finland there are people (adults and children) who have a "diagnosis" called Highly Sensitive Person, I recognize that I was a child HSP. As an adult I learned to be more extroverted. Still some situations where are large number of people or a lot of noise ... It's tiring for me! I do not mean that your son is Highly sensitive person . As an HS myself, and as a mother, I understand how you felt!
Hardest job in the world being a parent we want to make everything ok for our children 100% of the time and take setbacks to heart. Kate he will be fine he is still a baby and will be fine. My kids are in their 30's and I still worry and cry because I want to be able to make things better still. Xx
Thank you Valerie, it totally is! nothing prepares you for it either. Being a parent is by far the most challenging thing i've ever done. Yeah, I can imagine it still being hard no matter how old they are. My Mum thinks being a grandparent is even worse for worrying! Thank you for your reassuring comment xxxxx
I wish I could give you a hug, Kate. Please don't be embarrassed for showing a moment of vulnerability- we all have those moments in our lives. You are a lovely, genuine person whether you show "those moments" to us or not.
Hi Kate! Sorry to hear about your boiler- what a nightmare! You just take heating for granted don't you? Yes, I love the jumper too especially the colour. Well done Missus on the weight loss- looking good! I reckon Alex was probably anxious about the Mother's Day morning & had an accident but please don't worry. I was very clingy as a child & used to cry every morning before school so Mum must have been really upset leaving me bless her. He probably hates being centre of attention in public the same as me & although it must be frustrating for you when it should be a pleasant experience, it's just not his thing. My Godson is the same although his younger brother laps it up & his Mum sits with baited breath at every school performance hoping he will be ok. You are so right about the relief you feel after a good cry- I feel it gets rid of pent up frustration & you do feel better afterwards so don't worry- you are in good company. Thanks for showing us your down days too though as it makes us all feel normal. Big hugs & can't wait for part 2 xxxx
Hello again!! yes, it was a nightmare, weird as we've had it colder here so not sure why it froze this time?? Yes, I am totally loving that jumper still, it's one of those rare purchases you make where it just makes you so happy lol!! thank you, it's been hard going. I need to change up what i'm doing though, I was hoping to be closer to whatever my target is by July and I still feel a million miles away! Alex has got a lot better, I think this is why I was so disappointed. I feel like i've cried so much recently, hopefully that'll be it for a while!! Big hugs back xxx
Hi Kate, your not alone. My son who is 5 nearly 6 is the same and has been since a baby. Can not coup with noise, stressful situation, he think very literally about things. Does not really understand jokes and other children play fighting and things with him. When he gets stressed in public it can come out as a tantrum and I feel like people think he is really naughty and it isn't it's stress. We were having problems with panic attacks about six months ago due to not coupling at school and it was coming out at home. But with the help of Senco at school and we have also found pre-emping his mood and pre-warning him as to what will happen has really worked. He is getting better! so have hope. The fact that you recognise the behaviour is a really positive step and that you are not ignoring it and just putting it down to his personality is great. I know how upsetting it is and your heart breaks for them. I often feel like a really bad mum. I feel I must have done something wrong to make him like he is. Senco have told me not to feel like this and that this just happens to be Alfies personality and it's just about managing it. He will get there hun. As he gets older he will start to understand himself xx
I think it took courage to leave in the last part - I'm rubbish at being open with people when things aren't going well, but you kept it real and honest. I'm not a mum, but I've never liked a lot of noise or a lot of people in one place, so I can relate to that. Hopefully your little guy will develop some strategies to make it easier to deal with as he gets older. Hugs
Thank you Kirsty, i've definitely relaxed a lot more on camera over the years and I just wanted to share something personal that I thought others could relate to. I'm sure he will, to be fair to him he has got a lot better over the years. Sometimes he really does surprise me. Thank you for the lovely words Kirsty xxx
Arww Kate this had me crying my children used to be the same but they grew out of it I cried every time my kids had to do something in front of ppl because they went into themselves and stood with head down hopefully your little one grows out of it x
Awww so sorry Yvonne! I hope he will grow out of it, he's getting better all the time and more confident, so fingers crossed. I'm so glad you understand xxx
Kate, get one of those mattress protectors if you don't have one already. My mom kept one on my bed from when I was wee. It helped for wetting the bed (which happened age 6 for me for some reason). She also made me get up after midnight to go pee; the reason I wet the bed was I was too afraid to go to the toilet at night, so she helped me with that. Also the protector came in handy later as I had heavy periods. My mattress never stained. It's the *best* thing!
Please don't call your son, `the boy`, would love you to use his name, can't imagine I would call my children, 'the girl 'or ' the boy', either keep his privacy or use his name.
I understand what you’re saying, I don’t make a conscious decision to say anything in particular really. It’s just whatever falls naturally out of my mouth at the time, I have called him by his name, but sometimes I wonder if people won’t realise who I’m referring to. I don’t think I’m alone in using the term ‘the boy’...not heard so much ‘the girl’ though. Not sure if it’s a regional thing? It’s certainly nothing to do with privacy, he’s been in quite a few of my videos now xxx
Thank you Valerie, that's lovely of you to say. I'm sure it is a fairly normal thing to say, I'd never looked on it negatively. Definitely a term of endearment as far as i'm concerned xxx
Hi everyone! Happy Easter! I can't believe this is potentially part 1 of 3! yikes. Like I wrote in the description of this video, I thought long and hard about cutting the final part out, but I have left it in. I want to show that life isn't always perfect and you have to accept the good as well as the bad. I think social media can be a particularly challenging place for this. So here, as usual, is the real and genuine me xxx
WavyKate Thank you for sharing. I’m not a parent but hope to have children in future and really appreciate honest views of what parenting can be like. Keep being real 😊
you're welcome, it was a tough one for me as I don't want my videos to be miserable! but at the end of the day, it was the reality of the situation. Thank you for the taking the time to comment xxx
I'm a working mom of three so I completely understand being totally sleep deprived and exhausted. The smallest things will set me off and I will cry at anything! And all moms want the best for their children. You so desperately want them to be wonderful independent adults when they grow up and it's very difficult when they struggle. Right now I'm going through the struggle with my 13 year old and algebra at school. Just know you're not alone. ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, that's so reassuring to know. I hope you manage to get through the algebra! i'm not looking forward to that part either!! lol xxx
I want so badly to crawl thru the screen and give you a hug.
What a lovely mama you are. Your little guy is so blessed to have you. All my babes are over 30 now, and have babes of their own. I know it’s not helpful to you now, but try not to worry too much. There are all sorts of people, and he will grow to be what’s meant to be. And I’m betting that will be a lovely, kind and compassionate person just like his parents. This world surely needs more people that are sensitive to what’s around them... it would be a kinder place. My “mama’s boy” is now a doctor who works with the elderly. No doubt your little one will find his place too.
Thank you so much! I was so close to not including it, but I feel so close to so many of you now, I just wanted to share that moment. It is helpful, reading a lovely comment such as yours is enormously helpful, so thank you so very much! Yes, I think you are right actually, it's just so hard when in a roomful of children acting 'perfectly' he just didn't want to know. Ahhh bless your Mama's boy. Thank you again xxxxx
Hi Kate, thanks for sharing your thoughts, even when you feel sad. Life is not perfect, and social media tend to always show the good moments. Do not worry about your little boy. Mine had an horrible first year of pre-school, crying every day when his father would leave him (even at that time, I worked a long way from home and had to take my train very early in the morning). We, as parents, felt guilty and desperate. Then time went on, and he became more and more at ease with people in general. He made a lot of friends, and had a very good scholarship. Now he's a young brilliant engineer 😊. So do not worry: time is your best partner. Give your little boy all the love and attention he deserves, and everything will go smoothly. And give yourself the right to feel good or bad! Have an amazing month of April!
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. The type of parent I am very much falls into the nurturing/attached variety, it’s all too easy to blame yourself and think you’re doing things wrong. I remember feeling similarly desperate when he slept terribly, it’s only been in the last few months he’s slept a lot better. That was definitely a case of things just taking their time. No one can prepare you for how hard it is, how tired you’ll be or how challenged you’ll feel. I decided to keep it in as I wanted others to see another side of parenthood. Thank you again, you give me much hope for the future xxxx
Oh and I hope you have an amazing month of April too xxx
It's okay. Sometimes we just get overwhelmed as a mom, and the little things just really upset us. We all cry about things that later we feel silly crying about. It will pass. :) Maybe he just has stage fright. I just want to give you a hug and tell you it'll be okay. :) Hang in there! Just remember, a good cry will make you feel better, but destroy your makeup! lol! Here's the plan: get it all out of your system with a good cry, clean yourself up and freshen your makeup, make a cup of tea, and then call your mum and listen to her tell you she loves you and everything will work out fine. Oh yes, and try to think of something good. You know, like....at least he doesn't suck his thumb, so no oral surgery and braces! :)
Moonlight Serenity love this comment! (I sucked my thumb for years, and was very shy too.)
Aww thank you SO much! sleep deprivation was definitely a part of it. Any other day, I think I would have reacted differently. I hugged him and reassured him as usual but he was just having an off day. LOL, I managed to clean myself up a bit and meet my friends for a therapeutic hot chocolate and brie/bacon panini afterwards. It was only for an hour or so, we laughed and had a lovely time and it did me the world of good. Oh yikes!! are you speaking from experience with that? my sister used to suck her thumb, but luckily it didn't affect her teeth. xxx
My lovely Friend Kate.
You know me and my son. I have been just like you too. And sometimes still am.
He suffers from anxiety and had done for years ( about 7 years) he is now 14 as you know.
He isnt a 'joiner' either.
When things are more settled my end i will give you a buzz for a chat. We have some coping techniques and i have an amazing book that is aimed at children.
Xxxx
My lovely Friend Verity, thank you so much! will be lovely to have a catch up with you when we can. I know life is awful for you right now xxxxxx
In Finland there are people (adults and children) who have a "diagnosis" called Highly Sensitive Person, I recognize that I was a child HSP. As an adult I learned to be more extroverted. Still some situations where are large number of people or a lot of noise ... It's tiring for me!
I do not mean that your son is Highly sensitive person . As an HS myself, and as a mother, I understand how you felt!
I think that might have been what my husband was referring to. He can be very sensitive at times. Thank you lovely xxx
Hardest job in the world being a parent we want to make everything ok for our children 100% of the time and take setbacks to heart. Kate he will be fine he is still a baby and will be fine. My kids are in their 30's and I still worry and cry because I want to be able to make things better still. Xx
Thank you Valerie, it totally is! nothing prepares you for it either. Being a parent is by far the most challenging thing i've ever done. Yeah, I can imagine it still being hard no matter how old they are. My Mum thinks being a grandparent is even worse for worrying! Thank you for your reassuring comment xxxxx
I wish I could give you a hug, Kate. Please don't be embarrassed for showing a moment of vulnerability- we all have those moments in our lives. You are a lovely, genuine person whether you show "those moments" to us or not.
Thank you so much Denise, your kind words mean so much to me xxxx
Hi Kate! Sorry to hear about your boiler- what a nightmare! You just take heating for granted don't you? Yes, I love the jumper too especially the colour. Well done Missus on the weight loss- looking good! I reckon Alex was probably anxious about the Mother's Day morning & had an accident but please don't worry. I was very clingy as a child & used to cry every morning before school so Mum must have been really upset leaving me bless her. He probably hates being centre of attention in public the same as me & although it must be frustrating for you when it should be a pleasant experience, it's just not his thing. My Godson is the same although his younger brother laps it up & his Mum sits with baited breath at every school performance hoping he will be ok. You are so right about the relief you feel after a good cry- I feel it gets rid of pent up frustration & you do feel better afterwards so don't worry- you are in good company. Thanks for showing us your down days too though as it makes us all feel normal. Big hugs & can't wait for part 2 xxxx
Hello again!! yes, it was a nightmare, weird as we've had it colder here so not sure why it froze this time?? Yes, I am totally loving that jumper still, it's one of those rare purchases you make where it just makes you so happy lol!! thank you, it's been hard going. I need to change up what i'm doing though, I was hoping to be closer to whatever my target is by July and I still feel a million miles away! Alex has got a lot better, I think this is why I was so disappointed. I feel like i've cried so much recently, hopefully that'll be it for a while!! Big hugs back xxx
Hi Kate, your not alone. My son who is 5 nearly 6 is the same and has been since a baby. Can not coup with noise, stressful situation, he think very literally about things. Does not really understand jokes and other children play fighting and things with him. When he gets stressed in public it can come out as a tantrum and I feel like people think he is really naughty and it isn't it's stress. We were having problems with panic attacks about six months ago due to not coupling at school and it was coming out at home. But with the help of Senco at school and we have also found pre-emping his mood and pre-warning him as to what will happen has really worked. He is getting better! so have hope. The fact that you recognise the behaviour is a really positive step and that you are not ignoring it and just putting it down to his personality is great. I know how upsetting it is and your heart breaks for them. I often feel like a really bad mum. I feel I must have done something wrong to make him like he is. Senco have told me not to feel like this and that this just happens to be Alfies personality and it's just about managing it. He will get there hun. As he gets older he will start to understand himself xx
I think it took courage to leave in the last part - I'm rubbish at being open with people when things aren't going well, but you kept it real and honest. I'm not a mum, but I've never liked a lot of noise or a lot of people in one place, so I can relate to that. Hopefully your little guy will develop some strategies to make it easier to deal with as he gets older. Hugs
Thank you Kirsty, i've definitely relaxed a lot more on camera over the years and I just wanted to share something personal that I thought others could relate to. I'm sure he will, to be fair to him he has got a lot better over the years. Sometimes he really does surprise me. Thank you for the lovely words Kirsty xxx
Arww Kate this had me crying my children used to be the same but they grew out of it I cried every time my kids had to do something in front of ppl because they went into themselves and stood with head down hopefully your little one grows out of it x
Awww so sorry Yvonne! I hope he will grow out of it, he's getting better all the time and more confident, so fingers crossed. I'm so glad you understand xxx
Kate, get one of those mattress protectors if you don't have one already. My mom kept one on my bed from when I was wee. It helped for wetting the bed (which happened age 6 for me for some reason). She also made me get up after midnight to go pee; the reason I wet the bed was I was too afraid to go to the toilet at night, so she helped me with that. Also the protector came in handy later as I had heavy periods. My mattress never stained. It's the *best* thing!
Please don't call your son, `the boy`, would love you to use his name, can't imagine I would call my children, 'the girl 'or ' the boy', either keep his privacy or use his name.
I understand what you’re saying, I don’t make a conscious decision to say anything in particular really. It’s just whatever falls naturally out of my mouth at the time, I have called him by his name, but sometimes I wonder if people won’t realise who I’m referring to. I don’t think I’m alone in using the term ‘the boy’...not heard so much ‘the girl’ though. Not sure if it’s a regional thing? It’s certainly nothing to do with privacy, he’s been in quite a few of my videos now xxx
Elaine Southwell we call sons and grandsons the boy in our family it's a term of endearment for us so I smile when Kate says it xx
Thank you Valerie, that's lovely of you to say. I'm sure it is a fairly normal thing to say, I'd never looked on it negatively. Definitely a term of endearment as far as i'm concerned xxx