@robinkholmes7127 and even if he didn't make divorce one of the options, Op still would have had the right to choose it, but it's so funny that he _made it one of the options_ then got offended and pissy that she picked that instead of choosing to stay with him. He really thought he was enough of a catch that she wouldn't take the first out the moment it came up 💀
@@owl7072 Well it was interesting to see people didn't AdViCe OP "to properly think about it and to communicate more with her husband" before she "prematurely" decides to Divorce..
@@maishal7034 it’s not premature. He said open marriage or divorce so she chose!! She doesn’t have so stay with a man who wants to cheat on her. It’s also dangerous to her health
True. But I suspect the husband is into dogging and wants to engage in that. OP of course, like most of us, would not find that acceptable. She said as much in her comments.
Ha I think he didnt really want an open relationship. He wanted a pass to go screw That One Woman he's been looking at for awhile, whilst his wife stays at home and does the dishes. Now he probably got neither. That why he mad.
@@shells500tutubo so true. You are most correct to assume he alteady had a side-piece even before suggesting the open marriage. Most of those people that make that kind of suggestion have
Though tbf, if this were true, the mere existence of a side chick already kinda warrants you a ruined life. They can’t blame it on anyone but themselves.
So true, at that point why even bother giving an ultimatum??? You could just go be with the side chick and be done with it... He had no children or any properties (at least from how the story was told) should've just divorced or gone to therapy this shit is just dumb
Why are there so many people trying to strongarm their spouses into an open relationship??? And then get big mad when the other person doesn't just roll over 🤦♀️ especially when HE gave an ultimatum and threatened future cheating 🙄 polyamory isnt for everyone and its super gross to try to force it
I’d go along and say that polyamory should be completely outlawed. It just spreads disease and I don’t trust that people like that practice safe sex. It’s just not healthy to be in a poly relationship and I think there is a very reasonable explanation for why people shame others for it. It’s just disgusting.
He wants her to find someone first? In an at fault divorce state that could be bad. If he never mentions this in writing, text or something, he's up to something.
He already has a side chick making ultimatums and he thought this would be the best way to get out on top in the divorce and the small town rumor mill. Get wifey to go first then blow her reputation up to all and sundry as an adultress and make AP official with everyone's blessing. Didn't count on that shiny titanium spine.
Op should have started recording after the 1st convo. (Consistant with laws reg. it), to safegaurd herself against 'false' accusations made to people by hubby. (Controlling, Cheating etc).
The comment is that if we don't have an open marriage, I will cheat points to him not caring about op and just wantingtosleeparound. I wouldn't be surprised if he already had someone in mind but they didn't want to be with a married man so he lied and said they have an open marriage and then tried to convince op yo go along with one.
OP: "So, you want to be with someone else without leaving the comfort of your marriage." Husband, denying: "No, I want to explore myself sexually without losing you in the process." OP: "So, exactly what I said," Also, Husband: "It's an open marriage or nothing." OP: "Very well, I accept your terms and choose nothing" Husband: "Wait, what?"
Also Husband: I want an open marriage, right now. OP: I want a divorce, and a separation right now. Husband: How can you decide something like that so fast!
"he wants me to tell others that we are divorcing because he cheated" this guy desperately wants image of playboy or badboy who gets all the ladies, which he clearly isn't. I don't think he will be as successful as he wishes.
Dude living with fantasies that if he didn't need to take care of sis and marry, he would be some popular hot stuff. He is delulu tho, being married doesn't stop your popularity. 😂
I am fully convinced if she did agree and got a new man, and he'd not be as successful, then he'd bitch and whine about closing the marriage You cannot convince me otherwise
My first husband got pissed at me when he wanted an open marriage and I didn't. Whenever I wanted to just talk about it and how it made me feel he would flip out and would ask me why I felt I had the right to control hin. I never spoke about him. Only my own feelings. Don't let a partner gaslight you into thinking you're unreasonable for wanting and sticking to monogamy. I found a man who cherishes and appreciates me and would never dream of asking for such a thing. If they even propose it, it's over. I've seen poly relationships work well, but only when it started off that way. Every monogamous relationship I've ever seen try to open up has failed miserably. Just do what's right for you.
nah polyamory is ALWAYS a fuckng mess. SOMEONE is going to be jealous/mad at SOME POINT that the other person is getting more attention than they are/are the ONLY legal spouse and gets all the marital benefits.
Lol how were you controlling him by saying no, I'm not into that shit, but you do you, but I'm kickin around to do the pick-me dance. I had a partner (gay male here) that "wanted to bring. transwoman into the relationship." I said, "I've already been with transwomen. You can be with whoever you want but I won't part of it and you aren't staying HERE." Bit ch was living in my house for FREE. I also said he wanted to objectify her, this "transwoman" he spoke of, and I wasn't having that shit either. The relationship died when he told me he had a child in another country and had been lying to other people in my building saying MY apartment was his, leading me to loudly shout to one of my neighbors he was talking to, "Has he been telling you this is HIS apartment? He's homeless, I'm just letting him stay here!" and he started doing drugs because he couldn't accept the fact that he was gay. I'm not closeted and never have been, and he tried his hardest to make it look like we weren't in a relationship when it was so badly obvious we were, and that I used to tell everyone that he was my "husband"/partner. It was truly pathetic and he's still twacked out to this day, making it now his mother's problem.
Story 1. I'm inclined to believe he never really loved OP. That her purpose was to mother the sister. Now, that the sister has moved out OP isn't useful anymore but, since she has proven fidelity, empathy etc he wants to keep her for the future.
“For him, it was an open marriage or nothing. I chose nothing…He was very hurt (angry that I would jump straight to divorce and kick him out of our bedroom So fast.” Well, he didn’t give her much of a choice. Don’t give her two options that are on two ends of a spectrum, with no compromise in-between, then pull the shocked pikachu face when she chooses one of those options, just because it is not the choice (concession,) you want her to make.
I think the man thought the wife would just submit with fear of being alone or losing resources. But marrying a woman with a shiny Kryptonian spine, those threats don't scare her. She knows her worth and what she deserves.
Dude knew damn well that false dichotomies dont truly exist. His two options for OP were: be coerced into an open marriage or be cheated on. He probably knew that other options existed, the best one being: OP choosing divorce. OP is setting an example for many, you DONT have to agree to an open marriage, even if you may find a second partner, just go for divorce
So OP's ex went and blew up his whole life for what? All the hot women willing to risk getting caught having sex in public who are throwing themselves at him? Oops! Where'd they all go? This dude REALLY wanted OP to be his safety net while he slept around. I hope OP is living her BEST life.
Yeah, when I saw that THAT was his kink, my thought was that he's going to end up arrested one day, and it's good OP left him beforehand. Oh, and if he's sneaky enough to be nasty in public, he's sneaky enough to already have a side piece when asking for an open relationship.
The Thing IS, how IS one to know, If the Other Hand poly tendencies or Not, If one can never Talk about IT? Dont get me wrong, He did pretty much everything wrong there was possible in that Talk, but Just assuming everyone Always has the same expectations and needs in a relationship IS plain wrong, and therefore talking about them should Not BE stigmatised. Making demands on the Other Hand . . . That Guy messed Up badly
Can confirm. My ex-husband and I mutually agreed to open our marriage, but after the divorce, I realized that our marriage was long since dead by the time it was suggested. We actually divorced for other reasons, but looking back, we were young and dumb when we married (22 and 23) and neither of us truly understood what it means to be married. If I ever get remarried, it will be biblically based and God-lead.
I'm glad she was in a position to handle it financially and get out on her own. I think she'll notice the peace of mind from not having all of these weird counter-intentions in her space. Even smarter to get a new # and not having come back begging for reconciliation later.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4sHope she got her home under an LLC, else he can easily find her address by going onto Zillow or Redfin or just checking the county sales records.
Open marriages need to be from the start. If either partner suggests an open marriage I guarantee the requester has a person in mind. It’s like they just want to cheat or already cheating.
Yeah, of the open relationship I've heard about THAT ACTUALLY WORK, the communication is good (if not great). It feel like a rarity to work and a freaking unicorn to start in the middle.
@@catsncrows No. You can value other people while still valuing your partner. Open marriages and poly relationships can only work if everyone involved isn't the jealous type, are completely transparent and aren't insecure. Some people can do it and some people can't
I hate open marriages. Exhusband is so selfish to realize what he’s losing and he was angry that OP kicked him out immediately? Yeah, I’m glad she was smart to see what a major loser he was. She definitely dodged a bullet there. I hope she’s okay out there and the guy is suffering with a disease from his AP.
What he was proposing wasn't even an open marriage it was just full on cheating. At least with an open marriage you aren't dating the AP. At most you'd be friends with benefits. He really did just wanna keep the OP on the back burner just incase it failed or until he was ready to marry whoever he chose to date. What other reason is there for wanting to have a whole relationship with someone else while you're married?
Open marriages need to be from the start. If either partner suggests an open marriage I guarantee the requester has a person in mind or already cheating.
@@neil999ish Nah, blackmail is threatening to release information on the victim if they didn't do something in particular. This is borderline, but not technically blackmail
@@sarahjaneuldricks6729 Manipulating someone's feelings through some threat in order to get some benefit is blackmail in an open sense of the word. In the legal sense, it is like you said, it involves the threat of releasing info on the victim.
Husband must have no respect whatsoever for his wife to ask something like this, assuming that she was never interested in the open relationship. Might as well tell her directly that she no longer meets his needs. Now he gets to go find someone else to meet his needs and she can find a man who actually will value her.
Yeah, I was thinking that normally if you dose your food with laxatives then you're accused of poisoning someone when they're caught, but since OP had them prescribed and was taking them as intended (as far as they know), then they were in the clear and lunch thief got a double whammy for nicking medicine.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4sBefore I got a mini fridge for my room (college), I had to use the dorm fridge for any leftovers. I put a cake in there once, and someone took a single decorative blob of frosting from it. I was honestly more annoyed than if they'd just stolen a slice
Story 1: If it is not for you, it is not for you. Better to break off. Also, you really should be talking about this before the marriage not after the marriage.
Main discussion before their marriage was how to adopt a 10 year old, who went off to the richer aunt's place when she was 17. My big question is: where was the aunt when the father died anyway? everyone has missed this point.
@@Kayenne54That was actually the more interesting story. I'm thinking the dead mother was estranged from her family and Op's ex didn't know she existed or how to contact her.
"Open marriage or nothing!" "Nothing, then. Bye." "How could you give up our marriage so easy?" Hold on, this whole operation was your idea. Also, gonna love how OP said she saw it as him wanting to date around while having the confort of a stable relationship, and he says that's not it, he just wants to... date around while having the confort of a stable relationship
May he get the partner that he deserves, an inconsistent person with cheating on her mind that he can never trust for a second without babysitting her every move. Fair is fair.
My ex and I stress the ex tried this. I gave him all my reasons to not do it and he hammered t me for days. Finally I reminded him of our wedding vows and did he take them seriously. He said yes, so drop it. He did. He cheated behind my back. I can't tell you how many Sti checks I had it piles on you adds so much figurative weight on it, makes it hard to get up and take care of everything. Don't do what I did. They don't change. They have no shame and with no shame they can't self reflect or have empathy. It's all about what he wants
Good, now he can have the ultimate open relationship, being single. No one that is happy in a long happy relationship just decided one day to change the terms of the relationship. I guess the silver lining is that he let the OP know before it started to turn into regret and resentment
No open marriage is something you discuss before the marriage, before the relationship. Not everyone is poly and lying to a person about it or more likely 9/10 of cases found some random person hot you wanted permission to cheat with and wanted permission from the wife to go on and either continue to F the person or asking for the go ahead first.
Good on her for seeing her self worth 👏 her spine is very shiny. Idk what he's mad about now he can be with whoever he wants with no one at home to catch him when those relationships fail.
I love it when OPs in these situations stand on business! Like, what else is there to discuss, here? You want to sleep with other people? Then you can go do that as a single man or woman.🤨
If anyone is proposing an open relationship, they are already cheating or they have backups lined up. If one is asking, then your marriage is over, end of story.
I would say OPs Dr did him a solid, but he actually did the opposite for the lunch thief.😂 Also, I am really proud of OP in Story 1 for knowing her own mind and sticking up for herself.
It's hilarious to me when someome gets mad at you for "not considering their feelings" while simultaneously disregarding yours. 😂 move on to better things. When someone tells you who they are, believe them
I wouldn't put it past him if you went along and he would get jealous. Also repeat after me: if someone wants to open the relationship / marriage, they already have someone in mind. Also loved his tantrum when the ultimatum failed him. My ex did the same, kept pissing me off and then saying "if you don't like this you can break up with me". Pushed me too far one time and I said "okay then I will break up with you". He: "No you can't do that to me. I was just joking." Me (unamused): "Get out"
Story 2: "open marriage or I'll cheat on you." OP files for divorce. "How could you just jump straight to divorce." Real talk tho it's very telling if a guy complains about a lack of sex, but then does absolutely nothing to be romantic or try get his partner in the mood.
That he wanted her to lie for him is icing on the cake. I hope she was honest with people and told them he wanted an open marriage and she didn't. If they ask why he wanted an open marriage, she should just tell them to ask him. He'd probably lie, but that way, she can be honest. She did everything right. I'm impressed.
Ok people, how have we not learned this life lesson yet: 1) If you aren't already in a swinger/poly/open etc. type relationship and BOTH are not on the same page... IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK! 2) The minute you tell someone they aren't enough, but just good enough to keep around, it will break something in them. And if they're smart, they are going to dip.
This already became a copy-past answer for me: Guys and Girls: No matter how long your relationship is. how long your marriage is. If your monogamous partner suggest "Open relationship" or "explore their sexuality" they either have someone in sight and are waiting for permission or they already are cheating and want to cover it. That is the truth whatever you like it or not. The only correct answer if you have a single miligram of self-respect is to breakup/divorce. There is no talking because they already are out of your marriage/relationship. There is no reason to wait because the trust is already gone. Just get out as soon as you can so you don't waste time and emotion energy.
It’s actually really sad what some people do to themselves the first time they realize, “Hey, I can’t try everything in life.” What we call a midlife crisis is people going, “Oh, holy crap, I have a life deadline. Because I chose path A, I’m never going to have Path B.” No one does. You can either have a loving marriage committed to a wife who helps you raise your sister, OR you can sleep around in your twenties. You’ll never have the answer a to which is better. Because no one gets to take both paths. If the path you are on makes you unhappy, definitely leave it. But DON’T leave if you’re happy just because of that nagging, “grass might be greener,” voice. You don’t want something else. You want everything. And that’s not possible. Now, I think it’s important to clarify here that I do not sympathize with hubby in story one. He broke his wife’s heart and then was somehow mad at her? I’m saying I know how he got there and it’s really tragic that he is such a fool.
Good news is that he got what he wanted. He's still in his (late) 20s so he can sleep around and explore himself, and he had the committed wife and stable home life to raise his sister in. He just doesn't get to have them simultaneously.
I'm calling it now, he's already cheated and has tried the kinks with someone else. Update: I still think he has someone on the side, since they married young (I'm assuming it's 18-20), so how would he know he likes the kinks he likes?
Same. Insulated lunchbox with a padlock, carried the key with me. (This was at a job where we were required to leave our lunches in the breakroom and couldn't keep personal items at our work stations.) No need to take up fridge space and no worries about my lunch getting stolen. I could also keep meds inside if I needed to.
The sister has grown up and moved away so the husband doesn't need OP or the illusion of a stable marriage anymore so he's ready to trash their marriage. What a selfish jerk. Adding a prescription in the meal makes the legal results far more satisfying than the guy just crapping his guts out. Good job, Doc.
The way OP told her husband about what his proposal actually was hit the nail in the head. He wanted a guilt-free pass to cheating while having the safety net of a marriage so he wouldn't grow old and die alone.He wanted his cake and eat it too.
I'm proud of Op in story 1. I have listened/read too many stories from Reddit of one spouse or partner trying to push the other into an "open marriage" and the partner is just going along with it to placate their partner. I have yet to see an open marriage end well. The person suggesting it almost always has a person they were cheating with or planning to cheat with already, but can't stand even the idea of their partner being with someone else. They don't want to open their marriage. They just want permission to cheat in the open.
I subbed the moment she said she said he wanted her to lie rather than tell anyone the truth and she didn't know what court of action to take. When you interjected calmly "the truth, always the truth," I hit subscribe.
"Not that there is a true right or wrong side to a situation like this" WTF is wrong with so many OPs in stories downplaying the shitty treatment of their partners??? He literal told her that he would cheat on her and then abused her emotionally when things didn't go his way.
He didn't propose this while his sister was living with you because he cared about his image in his little sister's eyes because he also knew that his parents wouldn't approve of who he now is. I'm guessing he's always been selfish so now he went for broke and see how much he can disrespect OP after all the things she's done to support him, it almost sounds like he's almost having a mid-life crisis and wants to be at home like a doormat because she's picked up the pieces of his life before so she be willing to sacrifice her happiness for him again. NTA, he's never going to stop looking at you as an old comfy sweater or his favorite old dog.
Story 1: JFC, that wasn't a request that was a demand. He didn't ask her what she thought about it but just laid down rules he expected her to follow. He totally had someone in mind already and I'd be willing to bet part of the reason he wanted her to find a partner first was so he could claim she was cheating on him and he could get out of a marriage. He USED OP to get custody of his sister and once she was grown saw OP as an obstacle instead of a partner. And then has the utter gall to tell OP if she doesn't agree to an open marriage then he'll cheat on her??
Asking for an open marriage is like activating a ticking time bomb that leads to divorce. It may not go off today, tomorrow, next week, or even month, but it eventually will.
people in open/poly relationships do it because they genuinely believe that intimacy and love shouldn’t have to be limited to just one person. they actually love their partner(s) and are happy with them. you don’t open your relationship because you’re unsatisfied or feel like you’re missing out; anyone who does this is just trying to replace you and will go back to being monogamous once they find the person they actually want to be with. also nonmonogamy has to be something BOTH people are into (or at least willing to explore) from the start; you shouldn’t have to convince or guilt trip them into it. its a whole ass lifestyle, NOT a band aid for an unhappy relationship.
Self-absorption is quite a thing. It takes all the air out of relationships whether marital, partners, or friendships. This sounded absolutely dreadful. OP was a laser focused business handling beast! Excellent for her. I'm so glad she got out of there.
I think OPs husband is putting the blame On by framing it as “kink exploration so I won’t hurt you” but he wants OP to walk away with another man so he feels justified. But if she divorces him, he bears the shame of his desire. It’ll be easier to walk away because “I/she found someone else.” And then he can claim he met his gf after she found her bf.
It could also be that if OP did agree to the open marriage (reluctantly tho) she would find comfort in another man and the husband would try to force OP in closing the marriage, and if/when she puts her foot down and says no, he will threaten divorce. He’d probably try to use OP’s second partner as “proof” she “cheated”.. yeah I’m just glad OP put her foot down and got a divorce so she wouldn’t have to deal with any nonsense should she agree to an open marriage..
I just dont understand the priority people put on sex. Life and relationships are not just about sex. I got married and had a child young and never once thought that I needed to step out on my husband because of things that I missed out on.
He got to use her to play mommy and take care of the kid and now has no use for her anymore. A complete failure of a man. Props to OP for doing the right thing.
Story 1: This makes me think of the Reddit story of the OP who was fed up with her cousin constantly disrupting family get-togethers by sneaking off to have semi-public sex with her bf. I was delighted to learn so much from the commenters who pointed out that public sex is forcing a kink on folks who have not given their permission. Such wonderful folks in the comments there and here!
The thing that amuses me is OP's ex seemed to think that he was so indispensable, so irreplaceable that she would be willing to accede to ANY condition to stay in the marriage. Why would he think that her self esteem was so tied to a marriage that really had a start in legal convenience and was just beginning to be a focus in their lives?
I remember this story I also remember laughing at him being hurt that she would file for divorce after he threatened to cheat and then said open marriage or divorce
Open marriage is proposed if 1)cheating already happened or 2)when someone is in picture...and fact that your STD test came back clean doesn't mean that he didn't cheat, but he didn't catch anything yet
Story 1- My 3 pieces of advice for people that say they still love their @$$hole partners: 1) You don't actually love them. You love who they were pretending to be. Ask yourself if you met them as they are now first, would you have started a relationship with them? 2) You need to grieve the loss of your relationship with who you thought they were like you would a death. Hold a funeral pire. Invite all your family and friends. Reminisce about the person you thought they were. Pile mementos on the pile, have a eulogy, and light it up. 3) When you're ready, throw a Single & ready to Mingle party with family and friends.
When he said he wanted her to find someone first, my mind told me he had someone already but needed a divorce with a better financial outcome for him, OP getting someone first would be used as the affair partner who ruined the marriage. Glad OP got the divorce first and hope she finds someone better in the future.
St1: Op is a queen. Good for her. And I bet the ex-hubby did have someone in mind. St2: Small town knows this dude steals food so the idiot probably moved. 😂
I like the mood booster story a lot and I'm glad it appears here and there on the internet, because it's perfectly executed way of stopping someone stealing your food. The regular laxatives, additional chili and other stuff is good, too, but this is just the best.
So everyone is just going to gloss over the fact this guy went into a rage throwing her stuff around when it was clear he wasn’t getting his way? For all the ex-husband’s apologists, how do you explain that as being even remotely understandable ? Becoming violent with objects or people shows extreme issues and is one of the biggest red flags there is.
Bravo to OP's shiny spine and self-respect! But she's wrong, there is absolutely a right and wrong here. Husband tried to be a cake-eater, then became abusive when told "no". Good riddance! I hope in addition to therapy, OP lives her single life to the fullest. And hits the gym and gets jacked. She can do better than him in a heartbeat.
"It's an open marriage or nothing!"
_Op files for divorce_
"I can't believe you would do this to me!"
Don't set an ultimatum when you have something of worth to lose
@robinkholmes7127 and even if he didn't make divorce one of the options, Op still would have had the right to choose it, but it's so funny that he _made it one of the options_ then got offended and pissy that she picked that instead of choosing to stay with him. He really thought he was enough of a catch that she wouldn't take the first out the moment it came up 💀
@@owl7072 💯
@@owl7072
Well it was interesting to see people didn't AdViCe OP "to properly think about it and to communicate more with her husband" before she "prematurely" decides to Divorce..
@@maishal7034 it’s not premature. He said open marriage or divorce so she chose!! She doesn’t have so stay with a man who wants to cheat on her. It’s also dangerous to her health
How can people like the husband be mad? He's being given the chance to truly have a open relationship
True. But I suspect the husband is into dogging and wants to engage in that. OP of course, like most of us, would not find that acceptable. She said as much in her comments.
It’s all in the Cheaters Playbook. They want to cheat without any repercussions and come to the safety and comfort of a relationship.
😂 so true
He wanted a wife to fall back to in the end if he found no one.
Ha I think he didnt really want an open relationship. He wanted a pass to go screw That One Woman he's been looking at for awhile, whilst his wife stays at home and does the dishes.
Now he probably got neither. That why he mad.
So, if OP wants monogomy Hubby will cheat? Yeah, the marriage is over.
He 100% will cheat. The moment a guy/girl suggests 'open relationship' it's over and done.
@@ianesgrecia8568 You are wrong. It is not "He 100% will cheat". Homeboy is ALREADY cheating, and probably has been for a while.
@@shells500tutubo so true. You are most correct to assume he alteady had a side-piece even before suggesting the open marriage.
Most of those people that make that kind of suggestion have
That husband was probably more honest than a lot of others
He already IS cheating.
it felt like his side chick was giving him ultimatums and dude thought of this brilliant and foolproof plan to absolutely destroy his own life.
An interesting theory
It really does, doesnt it
Though tbf, if this were true, the mere existence of a side chick already kinda warrants you a ruined life. They can’t blame it on anyone but themselves.
I agree with this statement.
So true, at that point why even bother giving an ultimatum??? You could just go be with the side chick and be done with it... He had no children or any properties (at least from how the story was told) should've just divorced or gone to therapy this shit is just dumb
“He had sex in a walmart changing room”
Walmart is the least sexy place ever. This is trash behavior
Right, that's the opposite of sexy 🤢
I pity the minimum waged worker having to clean THAT up.
@mbyerly9680 that was my first thought
@@mbyerly9680 god that's a horrific mental image, thx for that lmao
Wtf oh god as a former retail worker (not walmart tho) that makes me cringe just WHY?
Why are there so many people trying to strongarm their spouses into an open relationship??? And then get big mad when the other person doesn't just roll over 🤦♀️ especially when HE gave an ultimatum and threatened future cheating 🙄 polyamory isnt for everyone and its super gross to try to force it
I’d go along and say that polyamory should be completely outlawed. It just spreads disease and I don’t trust that people like that practice safe sex. It’s just not healthy to be in a poly relationship and I think there is a very reasonable explanation for why people shame others for it. It’s just disgusting.
Well usually the person that proposes it is already cheating or has someone waiting to cheat with
Or the spouse goes along with it and the one who suggested it gets mad when the spouse finds someone better
@@simsgirlgem I love those. Feels like a happy ending when they can move on to someone who's not selfish and nuts.
Disrespectful and selfish people exist.
He wants her to find someone first? In an at fault divorce state that could be bad. If he never mentions this in writing, text or something, he's up to something.
He already has a side chick making ultimatums and he thought this would be the best way to get out on top in the divorce and the small town rumor mill. Get wifey to go first then blow her reputation up to all and sundry as an adultress and make AP official with everyone's blessing. Didn't count on that shiny titanium spine.
@@terramarini6880 wow...OP has had a lucky escape; and mentions "red flags" from earlier days too...what a piece of work he is.
Op should have started recording after the 1st convo. (Consistant with laws reg. it), to safegaurd herself against 'false' accusations made to people by hubby. (Controlling, Cheating etc).
Imagine being so ashamed that you'd rather have your wife say you cheated.
The comment is that if we don't have an open marriage, I will cheat points to him not caring about op and just wantingtosleeparound. I wouldn't be surprised if he already had someone in mind but they didn't want to be with a married man so he lied and said they have an open marriage and then tried to convince op yo go along with one.
That's what I thought, too.
OP: "So, you want to be with someone else without leaving the comfort of your marriage."
Husband, denying: "No, I want to explore myself sexually without losing you in the process."
OP: "So, exactly what I said,"
Also,
Husband: "It's an open marriage or nothing."
OP: "Very well, I accept your terms and choose nothing"
Husband: "Wait, what?"
Also
Husband: I want an open marriage, right now.
OP: I want a divorce, and a separation right now.
Husband: How can you decide something like that so fast!
"he wants me to tell others that we are divorcing because he cheated" this guy desperately wants image of playboy or badboy who gets all the ladies, which he clearly isn't. I don't think he will be as successful as he wishes.
Dude living with fantasies that if he didn't need to take care of sis and marry, he would be some popular hot stuff. He is delulu tho, being married doesn't stop your popularity. 😂
@@berobero686 Right?... He's in for a rude awakening. Reality will slap the shit out of him😬
I am fully convinced if she did agree and got a new man, and he'd not be as successful, then he'd bitch and whine about closing the marriage
You cannot convince me otherwise
How is that any better? I really don't get how being labeled a cheater is seen as better than being divorced because he wanted a free pass.
@@catandrobbyflores Because he has an adult film scenerio ready to brag about. He just needs wifey to confirm the fantasy
My first husband got pissed at me when he wanted an open marriage and I didn't.
Whenever I wanted to just talk about it and how it made me feel he would flip out and would ask me why I felt I had the right to control hin.
I never spoke about him. Only my own feelings. Don't let a partner gaslight you into thinking you're unreasonable for wanting and sticking to monogamy.
I found a man who cherishes and appreciates me and would never dream of asking for such a thing. If they even propose it, it's over.
I've seen poly relationships work well, but only when it started off that way. Every monogamous relationship I've ever seen try to open up has failed miserably.
Just do what's right for you.
💯
Exactly. The only time I've seen it work is when both of them were poly and just happened to be in a monogamous relationship.
nah polyamory is ALWAYS a fuckng mess. SOMEONE is going to be jealous/mad at SOME POINT that the other person is getting more attention than they are/are the ONLY legal spouse and gets all the marital benefits.
Lol how were you controlling him by saying no, I'm not into that shit, but you do you, but I'm kickin around to do the pick-me dance. I had a partner (gay male here) that "wanted to bring. transwoman into the relationship." I said, "I've already been with transwomen. You can be with whoever you want but I won't part of it and you aren't staying HERE." Bit ch was living in my house for FREE. I also said he wanted to objectify her, this "transwoman" he spoke of, and I wasn't having that shit either. The relationship died when he told me he had a child in another country and had been lying to other people in my building saying MY apartment was his, leading me to loudly shout to one of my neighbors he was talking to, "Has he been telling you this is HIS apartment? He's homeless, I'm just letting him stay here!" and he started doing drugs because he couldn't accept the fact that he was gay. I'm not closeted and never have been, and he tried his hardest to make it look like we weren't in a relationship when it was so badly obvious we were, and that I used to tell everyone that he was my "husband"/partner. It was truly pathetic and he's still twacked out to this day, making it now his mother's problem.
Story 1. I'm inclined to believe he never really loved OP. That her purpose was to mother the sister. Now, that the sister has moved out OP isn't useful anymore but, since she has proven fidelity, empathy etc he wants to keep her for the future.
Well he fucked around and found out. People like that tend to respect themselves too first.
I think you have hit the nail in the head. He doesn't love her but he wants to keep her around. He wants to have his cake and eat it.
“For him, it was an open marriage or nothing. I chose nothing…He was very hurt (angry that I would jump straight to divorce and kick him out of our bedroom So fast.”
Well, he didn’t give her much of a choice.
Don’t give her two options that are on two ends of a spectrum, with no compromise in-between, then pull the shocked pikachu face when she chooses one of those options, just because it is not the choice (concession,) you want her to make.
I bet he is alone and no woman wants to be with him so now he is cruising the streets for a one night relief event.
He played the eff around and found out game and won the grand prize.
I think the man thought the wife would just submit with fear of being alone or losing resources. But marrying a woman with a shiny Kryptonian spine, those threats don't scare her. She knows her worth and what she deserves.
Don't set an ultimatum when you have more to lose
Dude knew damn well that false dichotomies dont truly exist. His two options for OP were: be coerced into an open marriage or be cheated on. He probably knew that other options existed, the best one being: OP choosing divorce. OP is setting an example for many, you DONT have to agree to an open marriage, even if you may find a second partner, just go for divorce
So OP's ex went and blew up his whole life for what? All the hot women willing to risk getting caught having sex in public who are throwing themselves at him? Oops! Where'd they all go? This dude REALLY wanted OP to be his safety net while he slept around. I hope OP is living her BEST life.
Yeah, when I saw that THAT was his kink, my thought was that he's going to end up arrested one day, and it's good OP left him beforehand. Oh, and if he's sneaky enough to be nasty in public, he's sneaky enough to already have a side piece when asking for an open relationship.
He'll have to take the bodypillows to parkbench and have ducks in the pond watch him hump.
Telling your monogamous partner that you want an open relationship always ends in divorce eventually. She definitely did the right thing
And it SHOULD always end in Divorce...
The Thing IS, how IS one to know, If the Other Hand poly tendencies or Not, If one can never Talk about IT?
Dont get me wrong, He did pretty much everything wrong there was possible in that Talk, but Just assuming everyone Always has the same expectations and needs in a relationship IS plain wrong, and therefore talking about them should Not BE stigmatised. Making demands on the Other Hand . . . That Guy messed Up badly
Can confirm. My ex-husband and I mutually agreed to open our marriage, but after the divorce, I realized that our marriage was long since dead by the time it was suggested. We actually divorced for other reasons, but looking back, we were young and dumb when we married (22 and 23) and neither of us truly understood what it means to be married. If I ever get remarried, it will be biblically based and God-lead.
OP has her head screwed on tightly. She didn’t take the ex’s crap. Good for her!
Story 1 - NTA
The fact he said he would cheat on OP says it all.
Exactly
It's a good thing he admitted that, but it should have been sooner so she could get out earlier.
It honestly makes you wonder what went through his head when he said that
Story 1: I'm so, so impressed by and proud of OP. I wish the absolute best for her and both cats.
I'm glad she was in a position to handle it financially and get out on her own. I think she'll notice the peace of mind from not having all of these weird counter-intentions in her space. Even smarter to get a new # and not having come back begging for reconciliation later.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4sHope she got her home under an LLC, else he can easily find her address by going onto Zillow or Redfin or just checking the county sales records.
Open marriages need to be from the start. If either partner suggests an open marriage I guarantee the requester has a person in mind. It’s like they just want to cheat or already cheating.
Yeah, of the open relationship I've heard about THAT ACTUALLY WORK, the communication is good (if not great). It feel like a rarity to work and a freaking unicorn to start in the middle.
@@matthewpopow6647 yeah it's kind a rare the relationship survive if you ask for open relationship in the middle instead of the start.
Aannndd the "what do you mean you are finding more partners!😡" which means they have completely devalued their spouse in their minds.
Yep every time
@@catsncrows No. You can value other people while still valuing your partner. Open marriages and poly relationships can only work if everyone involved isn't the jealous type, are completely transparent and aren't insecure. Some people can do it and some people can't
I hate open marriages. Exhusband is so selfish to realize what he’s losing and he was angry that OP kicked him out immediately? Yeah, I’m glad she was smart to see what a major loser he was. She definitely dodged a bullet there. I hope she’s okay out there and the guy is suffering with a disease from his AP.
stop judging all open marriages.
@@GiordanDiodato Most open marriages are not mutual decision. Usually it's only one that wants it and pressures their spouse to opening it.
@GiordanDiodato I'm going to go ahead and judge 95 percent of them. Just from anecdotal evidence I've witnessed personally
What he was proposing wasn't even an open marriage it was just full on cheating. At least with an open marriage you aren't dating the AP. At most you'd be friends with benefits.
He really did just wanna keep the OP on the back burner just incase it failed or until he was ready to marry whoever he chose to date. What other reason is there for wanting to have a whole relationship with someone else while you're married?
Open marriages need to be from the start. If either partner suggests an open marriage I guarantee the requester has a person in mind or already cheating.
Imagine trying to convince a spouse into an open marriage or polygamy by threatening to do it anyway
Isn't that blackmail? Probably nothing could be done legally about it.
@@neil999ish Nah, blackmail is threatening to release information on the victim if they didn't do something in particular. This is borderline, but not technically blackmail
@@sarahjaneuldricks6729 Manipulating someone's feelings through some threat in order to get some benefit is blackmail in an open sense of the word.
In the legal sense, it is like you said, it involves the threat of releasing info on the victim.
Husband must have no respect whatsoever for his wife to ask something like this, assuming that she was never interested in the open relationship. Might as well tell her directly that she no longer meets his needs. Now he gets to go find someone else to meet his needs and she can find a man who actually will value her.
He's too immature for that kind of reasoning
Glad OP is in a good space after standing her ground. Sounds like life will be better for both of them going forward.
big cheers to that doctor who handed a solution to the OP LMAO
Yeah, I was thinking that normally if you dose your food with laxatives then you're accused of poisoning someone when they're caught, but since OP had them prescribed and was taking them as intended (as far as they know), then they were in the clear and lunch thief got a double whammy for nicking medicine.
Seriously, I can't think of why someone would do something like that. It's not like they're so desperately hungry. Some weird power play.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4sBefore I got a mini fridge for my room (college), I had to use the dorm fridge for any leftovers. I put a cake in there once, and someone took a single decorative blob of frosting from it. I was honestly more annoyed than if they'd just stolen a slice
Story 1: If it is not for you, it is not for you. Better to break off. Also, you really should be talking about this before the marriage not after the marriage.
Main discussion before their marriage was how to adopt a 10 year old, who went off to the richer aunt's place when she was 17. My big question is: where was the aunt when the father died anyway? everyone has missed this point.
@@Kayenne54That was actually the more interesting story. I'm thinking the dead mother was estranged from her family and Op's ex didn't know she existed or how to contact her.
I was wondering that too. Maybe the aunt was traveling @@Kayenne54
@@Kayenne54 👀 I had forgotten about the aunt part.
Divorce is the ONLY acceptable response to the proposal for an open marriage.
Yeah, he "will" cheat because he already is.
The marriage was over when he pulled the "open or i cheat"
"I dont want to look like a duchebag, ... just tell evrybody I cheated" hahahaha :D
I'm sad OP's spine had to be tested this way, but I'm glad it came out sparkling and solid.
Mood booster: The doctor is the MVP. So you are constipated? Oh that's just cruel. Let do it.
What a great doctor!! Obviously, Doc has done this before too. Pranks at med school come to mind...
Him: “open marriage or nothing
Her: “ okay I prefer nothing”
Him: “ how dare you!?”
Good for her, don't look back.
“Cherry on top of this whole crap cake.”😂😂😂😂
Coffee
"Open marriage or nothing!"
"Nothing, then. Bye."
"How could you give up our marriage so easy?"
Hold on, this whole operation was your idea.
Also, gonna love how OP said she saw it as him wanting to date around while having the confort of a stable relationship, and he says that's not it, he just wants to... date around while having the confort of a stable relationship
I don’t know why but OP’s ex husband reminds me of the “I can’t believe you’ve done this” meme lol.
LOL
Im glad op isnt one of those "ik what i obviously have to do, but i dont want to" people
May he get the partner that he deserves, an inconsistent person with cheating on her mind that he can never trust for a second without babysitting her every move. Fair is fair.
Oh, and due to what he desires... may they get caught in public.
I give it 6 months before comes crawling back after realizing the real facts of being single.
Wonder what the sister thinks
My ex and I stress the ex tried this. I gave him all my reasons to not do it and he hammered t me for days. Finally I reminded him of our wedding vows and did he take them seriously. He said yes, so drop it. He did. He cheated behind my back. I can't tell you how many Sti checks I had it piles on you adds so much figurative weight on it, makes it hard to get up and take care of everything. Don't do what I did. They don't change. They have no shame and with no shame they can't self reflect or have empathy. It's all about what he wants
Good, now he can have the ultimate open relationship, being single. No one that is happy in a long happy relationship just decided one day to change the terms of the relationship. I guess the silver lining is that he let the OP know before it started to turn into regret and resentment
No open marriage is something you discuss before the marriage, before the relationship. Not everyone is poly and lying to a person about it or more likely 9/10 of cases found some random person hot you wanted permission to cheat with and wanted permission from the wife to go on and either continue to F the person or asking for the go ahead first.
CHEATING isn't an orientation or relationship style no matter what you call it.
Good on her for seeing her self worth 👏 her spine is very shiny. Idk what he's mad about now he can be with whoever he wants with no one at home to catch him when those relationships fail.
I love it when OPs in these situations stand on business! Like, what else is there to discuss, here? You want to sleep with other people? Then you can go do that as a single man or woman.🤨
If anyone is proposing an open relationship, they are already cheating or they have backups lined up. If one is asking, then your marriage is over, end of story.
Lunch thief story: LOVE THAT DOCTOR!!! Not only did that doctor give you your revenge, he also set it up so it couldn't come back on you. PERFECT!
I would say OPs Dr did him a solid, but he actually did the opposite for the lunch thief.😂 Also, I am really proud of OP in Story 1 for knowing her own mind and sticking up for herself.
I see what you did there.
He will be all eager for an open marriage until she’s dating and his have fizzled out. Thats just usually how it goes, isn’t it?
No one should have to suffer an ‘open marriage’
It's hilarious to me when someome gets mad at you for "not considering their feelings" while simultaneously disregarding yours. 😂 move on to better things. When someone tells you who they are, believe them
I wouldn't put it past him if you went along and he would get jealous. Also repeat after me: if someone wants to open the relationship / marriage, they already have someone in mind.
Also loved his tantrum when the ultimatum failed him. My ex did the same, kept pissing me off and then saying "if you don't like this you can break up with me". Pushed me too far one time and I said "okay then I will break up with you".
He: "No you can't do that to me. I was just joking."
Me (unamused): "Get out"
Story 2: "open marriage or I'll cheat on you." OP files for divorce. "How could you just jump straight to divorce."
Real talk tho it's very telling if a guy complains about a lack of sex, but then does absolutely nothing to be romantic or try get his partner in the mood.
That he wanted her to lie for him is icing on the cake. I hope she was honest with people and told them he wanted an open marriage and she didn't. If they ask why he wanted an open marriage, she should just tell them to ask him. He'd probably lie, but that way, she can be honest. She did everything right. I'm impressed.
Ok people, how have we not learned this life lesson yet:
1) If you aren't already in a swinger/poly/open etc. type relationship and BOTH are not on the same page... IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!
2) The minute you tell someone they aren't enough, but just good enough to keep around, it will break something in them. And if they're smart, they are going to dip.
This is the correct response, good job and good luck ma'am
This already became a copy-past answer for me:
Guys and Girls: No matter how long your relationship is. how long your marriage is. If your monogamous partner suggest "Open relationship" or "explore their sexuality" they either have someone in sight and are waiting for permission or they already are cheating and want to cover it. That is the truth whatever you like it or not. The only correct answer if you have a single miligram of self-respect is to breakup/divorce. There is no talking because they already are out of your marriage/relationship. There is no reason to wait because the trust is already gone. Just get out as soon as you can so you don't waste time and emotion energy.
It’s actually really sad what some people do to themselves the first time they realize, “Hey, I can’t try everything in life.”
What we call a midlife crisis is people going, “Oh, holy crap, I have a life deadline. Because I chose path A, I’m never going to have Path B.”
No one does. You can either have a loving marriage committed to a wife who helps you raise your sister, OR you can sleep around in your twenties. You’ll never have the answer a to which is better. Because no one gets to take both paths.
If the path you are on makes you unhappy, definitely leave it. But DON’T leave if you’re happy just because of that nagging, “grass might be greener,” voice. You don’t want something else. You want everything. And that’s not possible.
Now, I think it’s important to clarify here that I do not sympathize with hubby in story one. He broke his wife’s heart and then was somehow mad at her?
I’m saying I know how he got there and it’s really tragic that he is such a fool.
Good news is that he got what he wanted. He's still in his (late) 20s so he can sleep around and explore himself, and he had the committed wife and stable home life to raise his sister in. He just doesn't get to have them simultaneously.
I'm calling it now, he's already cheated and has tried the kinks with someone else. Update: I still think he has someone on the side, since they married young (I'm assuming it's 18-20), so how would he know he likes the kinks he likes?
Story 2- They do have locking lunch boxes. I have always used these when working in an office.
Same. Insulated lunchbox with a padlock, carried the key with me. (This was at a job where we were required to leave our lunches in the breakroom and couldn't keep personal items at our work stations.) No need to take up fridge space and no worries about my lunch getting stolen. I could also keep meds inside if I needed to.
The sister has grown up and moved away so the husband doesn't need OP or the illusion of a stable marriage anymore so he's ready to trash their marriage. What a selfish jerk. Adding a prescription in the meal makes the legal results far more satisfying than the guy just crapping his guts out. Good job, Doc.
The way OP told her husband about what his proposal actually was hit the nail in the head.
He wanted a guilt-free pass to cheating while having the safety net of a marriage so he wouldn't grow old and die alone.He wanted his cake and eat it too.
Ex-husband has serious problems. He’s a terrible person.
I'm proud of Op in story 1. I have listened/read too many stories from Reddit of one spouse or partner trying to push the other into an "open marriage" and the partner is just going along with it to placate their partner. I have yet to see an open marriage end well. The person suggesting it almost always has a person they were cheating with or planning to cheat with already, but can't stand even the idea of their partner being with someone else. They don't want to open their marriage. They just want permission to cheat in the open.
I subbed the moment she said she said he wanted her to lie rather than tell anyone the truth and she didn't know what court of action to take. When you interjected calmly "the truth, always the truth," I hit subscribe.
Open Relationship: If my husband proposed an open marriage to me? You bet I’d be calling a divorce attorney.
I LOVE the mood booster story😂. As a victim of a lunch thief, this was great!
"Not that there is a true right or wrong side to a situation like this"
WTF is wrong with so many OPs in stories downplaying the shitty treatment of their partners??? He literal told her that he would cheat on her and then abused her emotionally when things didn't go his way.
I think OP was referencing the "open marriage" option; not the "but if you don't give it me, I'll cheat" option.
@@Kayenne54 It didn't seem clear to me that she was referring to the open marriage proposal so it could've been that too
@@nyxe10 Let's face it, both options are deal breakers 🙂
So happy she got out in story 👍 Thanks LG🌷
That small town doc was epic level genius. Stealing medication, sweet.
She knows her worth!!!
He didn't propose this while his sister was living with you because he cared about his image in his little sister's eyes because he also knew that his parents wouldn't approve of who he now is. I'm guessing he's always been selfish so now he went for broke and see how much he can disrespect OP after all the things she's done to support him, it almost sounds like he's almost having a mid-life crisis and wants to be at home like a doormat because she's picked up the pieces of his life before so she be willing to sacrifice her happiness for him again. NTA, he's never going to stop looking at you as an old comfy sweater or his favorite old dog.
Story 1: JFC, that wasn't a request that was a demand. He didn't ask her what she thought about it but just laid down rules he expected her to follow. He totally had someone in mind already and I'd be willing to bet part of the reason he wanted her to find a partner first was so he could claim she was cheating on him and he could get out of a marriage. He USED OP to get custody of his sister and once she was grown saw OP as an obstacle instead of a partner. And then has the utter gall to tell OP if she doesn't agree to an open marriage then he'll cheat on her??
Asking for an open marriage is like activating a ticking time bomb that leads to divorce. It may not go off today, tomorrow, next week, or even month, but it eventually will.
people in open/poly relationships do it because they genuinely believe that intimacy and love shouldn’t have to be limited to just one person. they actually love their partner(s) and are happy with them. you don’t open your relationship because you’re unsatisfied or feel like you’re missing out; anyone who does this is just trying to replace you and will go back to being monogamous once they find the person they actually want to be with.
also nonmonogamy has to be something BOTH people are into (or at least willing to explore) from the start; you shouldn’t have to convince or guilt trip them into it. its a whole ass lifestyle, NOT a band aid for an unhappy relationship.
Self-absorption is quite a thing. It takes all the air out of relationships whether marital, partners, or friendships.
This sounded absolutely dreadful. OP was a laser focused business handling beast! Excellent for her. I'm so glad she got out of there.
I think OPs husband is putting the blame
On by framing it as “kink exploration so I won’t hurt you” but he wants OP to walk away with another man so he feels justified. But if she divorces him, he bears the shame of his desire. It’ll be easier to walk away because “I/she found someone else.” And then he can claim he met his gf after she found her bf.
It could also be that if OP did agree to the open marriage (reluctantly tho) she would find comfort in another man and the husband would try to force OP in closing the marriage, and if/when she puts her foot down and says no, he will threaten divorce. He’d probably try to use OP’s second partner as “proof” she “cheated”.. yeah I’m just glad OP put her foot down and got a divorce so she wouldn’t have to deal with any nonsense should she agree to an open marriage..
I am loving that doctor hilarious😂😂😂😂
I just dont understand the priority people put on sex. Life and relationships are not just about sex. I got married and had a child young and never once thought that I needed to step out on my husband because of things that I missed out on.
He got to use her to play mommy and take care of the kid and now has no use for her anymore.
A complete failure of a man.
Props to OP for doing the right thing.
What got me is that he wanted her to find a partner first. Likely to divorce her for cheating.
Lol to that Dr. "So, you have constipation then?"
Mood booster post: Doctor is the VIP.
Story 1: This makes me think of the Reddit story of the OP who was fed up with her cousin constantly disrupting family get-togethers by sneaking off to have semi-public sex with her bf. I was delighted to learn so much from the commenters who pointed out that public sex is forcing a kink on folks who have not given their permission. Such wonderful folks in the comments there and here!
Yeah, open doesn't work, especially a marriage. A marriage is a vow to one person forever.
even though they can work.
you just have to establish it before marriage.
Story 1: This dude apparently been hiding his scumbag level for a while. Don't walk, run from this.
The thing that amuses me is OP's ex seemed to think that he was so indispensable, so irreplaceable that she would be willing to accede to ANY condition to stay in the marriage. Why would he think that her self esteem was so tied to a marriage that really had a start in legal convenience and was just beginning to be a focus in their lives?
Dont marry before 20. Thats just insane. They both be happier divorced in a long run. He just doesnt see it now.
The husband NEEDED her to gain custody of his little sister. Once the sister was grown and gone, he decided to nuke his marriage. Selfish much?
@@mbyerly9680 Little sis wasn't totally "grown and gone". She went to the rich aunt's. How come the aunt didn't take her on to begin with?
My neighbor wanted open thing,she recived divorce papers really fast
I remember this story I also remember laughing at him being hurt that she would file for divorce after he threatened to cheat and then said open marriage or divorce
"If you won't open the marriage, I'll cheat."
*OP divorces him*
"Wait no!"
Open marriage is proposed if 1)cheating already happened or 2)when someone is in picture...and fact that your STD test came back clean doesn't mean that he didn't cheat, but he didn't catch anything yet
Story 1- My 3 pieces of advice for people that say they still love their @$$hole partners:
1) You don't actually love them. You love who they were pretending to be. Ask yourself if you met them as they are now first, would you have started a relationship with them?
2) You need to grieve the loss of your relationship with who you thought they were like you would a death. Hold a funeral pire. Invite all your family and friends. Reminisce about the person you thought they were. Pile mementos on the pile, have a eulogy, and light it up.
3) When you're ready, throw a Single & ready to Mingle party with family and friends.
When he said he wanted her to find someone first, my mind told me he had someone already but needed a divorce with a better financial outcome for him, OP getting someone first would be used as the affair partner who ruined the marriage. Glad OP got the divorce first and hope she finds someone better in the future.
Started with rules out the gate? Whoa
Anyone who asks for an Open Marriage is either already sleeping with someone else or has someone specific in mind to sleep with.
'Its an open marriage or nothing!'
OP: Divorce It is then.
*Surprised Pikachu face*
St1: Op is a queen. Good for her. And I bet the ex-hubby did have someone in mind.
St2: Small town knows this dude steals food so the idiot probably moved. 😂
I like the mood booster story a lot and I'm glad it appears here and there on the internet, because it's perfectly executed way of stopping someone stealing your food. The regular laxatives, additional chili and other stuff is good, too, but this is just the best.
So everyone is just going to gloss over the fact this guy went into a rage throwing her stuff around when it was clear he wasn’t getting his way? For all the ex-husband’s apologists, how do you explain that as being even remotely understandable ? Becoming violent with objects or people shows extreme issues and is one of the biggest red flags there is.
She sacrificed her twenties to raise his relative. Now that it's done, he only wants her as his safety net. She could do so, so much better.
Bravo to OP's shiny spine and self-respect! But she's wrong, there is absolutely a right and wrong here. Husband tried to be a cake-eater, then became abusive when told "no". Good riddance! I hope in addition to therapy, OP lives her single life to the fullest. And hits the gym and gets jacked. She can do better than him in a heartbeat.