How to Beat the URSUS AMERI-COCAS in COC*INE BEAR
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- Опубліковано 25 лис 2024
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If you were attacked by a bear that was totally geeked out of its mind on booger sugar what would you do?
I’m going to break down the mistakes made, what you should do, and how to beat URSUS AMERI-COCAS in COC*INE BEAR.
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Written By: Martin Now
DISCLAIMER:
This video may show minor dramatized, fictional violence from movies.
Fictional violence is not the focus of this video, and excessively violent imagery has been blurred, masked, obscured, or omitted. This content may include facetious remarks, occasional mild profanity, and mild references. This content is for entertainment only. None of the strategies or advice present in this video is to be condoned or treated seriously. If your UA-cam homepage is full of puppies howling, Ryan's World, and Fortnite, you should probably leave now..
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Why the reupload?
Why was the original video deleted
@@analerma3837 probably because it was age restricted
real people know this is a reupload
I don't care that it's a re upload because I would watch nerd explains videos 5x over again
"if it's white, say goodnight"
True, I'm technically a Southerner (Maryland, South of the Mason Dixon, baby), but even I know black bears will probably leave you alone or maybe hurt you a bit, a grizzly will usually be chill but can and sometimes WILL fuck you up bad enough to kill you, and a polar bear is the natural equivalent of that scene in Toy Story 3 where they all prepare to die because a polar bear WILL kill you just for the calories and you probably won't even have bones left afterwards. Polar bears are half a ton to a ton of pure "you're dead" energy, and GOD HELP YOU if you cross a mother with cubs.
Grizzly bears are mf killers man, no joke. A kodiak bear and a polar bear make any other bear look like a juvenile.
Makes me wonder what the point of panda bears are ... Negative (black) plus negative (white) equals positive cuddly bears I guess??
Polar bears have great olfactory senses, so generally, if you see one, it already knew you were there and was likely hunting you.
@@ooimarlyn Pandas are basically pathetic and barely survive on their own. I'd rather have to fight one of them to the death than a human that's for sure. They are cute though, especially those weird Red Pandas.
@@lorddreagus7253 That's not really how it works. Smell is extremely dependent on the environment and other factors such as wind, strength of the scent, and even what the smell is. While i've only hunted one bear myself(Fucking Expensive), we've seen plenty while hiking and hunting. They might have an idea something is in the area if you are especially smelly, but it'd still take time to pinpoint things if the conditions are right. That and that if you don't smell like something they'd like, they might know you're there but not want to go to you. Also a big difference between a very hungry, "tuned in" bear that is desperate for food vs once that has comfortable forage around. Polar Bears also are very mobile, moving around a lot in patrols, mostly sniffing around for tasty seals. The big think people don't think about with polar bears is they are WAY faster moving across snow than people are. Going somewhere cold you better be packing, cause you sure as shit aint outrunning them. Skiing though, can be quite effective.
The amount of censoring required for YT to let any White Powder Bear videos stay up is really funny. We all know what's happening but it's more blurry than pirated TV channels in the early 90s.
Also, always appreciate the SFW captions for videos about drug-fueled murder bears.
Its insane. Cocaine isn't a swear or vulgar, its just something that exists. Imagine actually trying to censor anything talking about drugs even though some sort of cop is going to talk to every class of 3rd graders about the danger of them. Hell, there were TONS of TV ads about staying away from drugs when i was a kid. And guess what? I don't do drugs. Pretending that saying a drug's name is like saying voldemort and drugs will suddenly fly into someone's mouth is insane.
The bear snorting a line of coke off the severed leg was hilarious.
I haven’t watched it but this comment alone makes me want to watch it
@@LOADEDPISTOLtrue
I was so confused why this said it was uploaded an hour ago, I remembered the intro and everything. And then boom censored white powder. It’s so over
"half way to the punch line of 'A bear shat in the forest' joke". You gotta love the lyrics this man comes up with. As well as his disdain for stupid decissions.
Wow he actually had to censor drugs in the movie where the whole premise is that a bear does drugs. UA-cam being the paragon of logic yet again.
That’s why this got removed and reuploaded??
@@mr.eldritch1589 duh
It's even dumber because it's not even really cocaine. Should all white powder be censored?
The movie wasn’t made for or released onto UA-cam, UA-cam doesn’t allow hard drugs to be shown, and the movie contains drugs. It is actually logical
@@HairlessRaccoon UA-cam allows you to buy this movie and other far worse movies uncensored. They are illogical clowns.
Nerd your narration of these videos has gotten better over time…Great idea taking the sarcasm and sadistic approach up a level…. With all the videos I’ve watched I hope someone from my highschool years decides to take revenge on me! I’m totally ready now because of these videos!!!
So, the true story of the cocaine bear is far less exciting. It became the most dangerous apex predator for about half an hour. And then, it went got high to the point where it met the woody gates of Ursus Valhalla.
Yeah .and now it's in Kentucky in a mall for all to see
"It became the most dangerous apex predator for about half an hour. " You stole that line from john oliver, what did it really do?
@@chestnut4860 Truthfully? The premise of this movie came from an old Tumblr thread about a bear found dead in the woods after having ingested a few kilos of cocaine that fell into the woods. The "apex predator" line came from a reply to that thread.
I don't even watch movies anymore, I just wait until NerdExplains uploads
I saw this movie in the cinema, then had to buy it and watch with the family to make sure I was sane in my understanding of it
UA-cam couldnt handle the heat of this movie so bad that at the mention of booger sugar they had to take it down.
Real ones know this is a reupload
And people like me thought they were going crazy lol
Yep yep
real real ones know this is the 2nd reupload
Right
"_______ Bear" is my favorite movie.
Knew Nerd wasn't safe if How to Beat wasn't
Yup, exactly why I watched it as soon as it hit before. Sometimes I binge, and I'm late to new videos.
A re-upload? Guess I'll watch again XD
Never was so happy about a reupload
I've been waiting for you to do this one!
The intro of this movie made me leave the theater crying about the poor bear. I sat in the entry area for my friends.
Could you please do a “how to beat” video on a movie called “attraction” or it’s second part? It has cool alien water benders and giant space ships capable of deep faking , controlling mass media and framing people for domestic terrorism. And it has a cool revolution and a government corruption scheme.(It also has a cool underwater scene).I am asking for the twenty ninth time and will continue asking.
I love that UA-cam has an ad to rent or buy this movie on UA-cam, but you can't say the name of the title in the video
Seriously, that ranger has worse aim than a Stormtrooper.
Wait. Did youtube remove this video because of drugs in absurd movie? WHAT?
It was probably demonetized for having drugs in the title and video, which violates UA-cam guidelines. So he reuploaded it so he could make money off of it and grow his channel.
Nerd fact: Dirty Harry's revolver was a Smith and Wesson Model 29 in .44 Magnum, NOT .357 Magnum. Nerdish Trivia: the Model 29 was in short supply at the time so the production utilized Model 57's in .41 Magnum.
Real troopers know this was a re-upload
I was thinking this, as I was listening to it
@@tealablu3759 Yesterday this video was uploaded but it must have gotten took down for one reason or the other.
Nah, I thought I was missing time until you guys confirmed
Nah it never happened. Mandela effect
can't believe you had to censor all this because of youtube
Thanks for the re upload 👍
BASED PICTURE FRIEND
I just love the lil stutter at 26:00. It’s refreshing
Glad you reuploaded, The auto age restriction thing is so stupid
imagine a moose on sugar powder.......that would be a terrifying thing.....a furr tank on stardust x.x
I anxiously await the sequel to cocaine bear, The Meth Moose
Always appreciate this in my notifications
To be fair, I think all rational attempts to pacify the bear go out the window when its heart rate is 200 beats per minute and every neuron in its brain is screaming for it to either fuck or feast
Is it the magic of UA-cam being offended or am i tripping cause I swear I saw the video yesterday 😅
Same
It’s a reupload because cocaine was used frequently in the video. That violates their policies. If it was allowed you see people doing actual hard drugs and claiming it as props, which is not what you want on a platform used primarily by teens
Bear with me. This is going to be fun.
lol
The bear was animated by WētaFX. From a country that doesn’t have bears.
Talking about a dozen fully loaded raccoons like a dozen normal ones aren't a steamroller alone.
OGs remember the original
Dam the YT overlords forcing a re upload cause of a movie title 🤦🏾♂️
Looks like he blurred all the powder and bricks too. Can't look at brown rectangles I guess
@@TriforceChad it’s prop cocaine? They don’t allow prop gore or any other prop that violates their guidelines if it’s real. Do you lack common sense?
@Cameron Rodzon I'm well aware. I think it's silly though that YT would require a nondescript brown square be censored. Sure, we as the audience are aware of what's in it, but requiring a container be censored because the thing IN the container is against ToS is kinda silly, don't you think?
had to blur everything and fully take the word out too damn youtube
Coke is too much for kids but UA-cam allows clips of cuties without a problem. Makes sense
@@abrahamwashington8579 youtube isnt even meant for kids, that's what youtube kids is for. but yeah youtube logic makes sense
Lol UA-cam censored me just for typing the boring word of booger sugar
“D**m She missed” big understatement
Bold move having grade-schoolers do cocaine in your opening act then get viciously mauled by a bear.
Watching the ads I thought it was about adults but nope Hollywood has to have some eye candy in the form of a little girl blowing coke. I think they could of did this movie without any kids at all anx it would of been just as good
Should have known they would be too cowardly to kill kids.
"...she missed" 💀
Literally watched a bear expert say the sprint up the tree is very easy for bears. Lol
I thought everyone knew that
I swear I watched this video yesterday. Do I have the ability to see into the future?
Nah😂 it was reuploaded
The first one got age restricted or something
That cocaine bear movie looks really funny
Do phantoms the Dean Koontz adaptation please because I've always wondered about that one. As always thank you for the great observations dude.
Thanks! This will be really helpful if i get jumped by a coked up bear.
Glad it’s no longer age restricted
my god... censored part almost more than uncensored?
Nerd is the Goat 🐐 greatest of all time with another great strategy to survive 🤑💯 percent classic 🤑 awesome
Damn, missed the original. Would pay good money for a DL of it.
I love your videos so much man your so funny and I love your voice no homo
😂
Full homo
TFS 👊
I am a linguist who is straight and I agree. He's got a sexy voice
Idk what changed this time around but I'm still gonna watch it even I watched the original
edit: seems like he just censored the drugs part and other clips
That cut to rule #4 was perfect.
Excellent breakdown brother
GAHHH !!! I love you 🤘🏾
I was miffed cause I couldn't find this upload. And you were kind enough to post it right back up 4 me.
I LOVE YOUR VIDS 🖤🖤🖤
I pray you never get tired of thoroughly entertaining and "educating" us ☺️🤭
Continue to be blessed Nerd! 🤘🏾🖤🤘🏾
Edit: you split my sides! I watched twice 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Comedy-horror a mix in heaven
And what the heck is a ur sus ameri cocas
For me it depends. I don't watch a horror movie to laugh but a healthy balance works. I liked Babysitter and the Chucky movies. Scream I would not consider a comedy but I do think it has its moments
I guess the only one I really like that is a straight comedy is Tucker and Dale. I don't know I even wasn't a big fan of Shaun of the dead
Bruh, I knew what cocaine was and how it worked when I was an 8th grader. At my school, it was the 8th graders job to harass the freshmen by teaching them about sex and drugs and such, so I learned even before 8th grade and LONG before I ever did drugs myself. DARE was a disaster, man.
Whats so anticlimactic is the real bear when it got into the cocaine it just ran until its heart gave out. It didn't attack anything.
Yeah I mean if this movie is based off of a real story literally any movie is
These guys really need to make a movie with, as +Nerd Explains puts it, *loaded raccoons* . That'll be a real howler! Maybe include a few stealth kills in there as well, since raccoons can be pretty sneaky anyways!
Bear temporarily became the most apex predator on earth
As an az resident that asu party joke hurt. It's true. But it still hurt
How to beat the Graboids from Tremors.
I was watching at this a 1:00 In the morning, while talking a walk through my apartment complex and I heard a skater and nearly did a 300 meter sprint in the opposite direction
Thank god i finally can watch this
Realistically, just find the knot on the back of the skull, all of us have it, place the barrel just below, and point like 20-30 degrees up towards the top of the head, you're basically guaranteed to hit some part of either the cerebellum or the spinal cord and, at minimum, completely destroying sections of all the occipital, temporal, parietal, and frontal lobes because even a .22 is enough to turn human into non-human mush.
Great video.
'damn she missed' 🤣🤣. He said it so calmly like she didn't just shot that mofo point blank.🤣🤣
4:07 my grand grand father used to tell me this
I’ve been waiting for this one when I saw the trailer 😂🤣
Knew you’d have to repulsed lol good thing I watched beforehand
I think Nerd had a bit of the booger sugar before recording this video-
Nerd yo is so funny😂
Plot twist:it’s based on a true story
i've seen this movie, it was pretty entertaining
Sir, please do Anton and No Country for Old Men 🙏🏼
love your content, you're a fukin comedian man.
2:33 watchin my career crash and burn
The satire is just as addictive as that cocaine, I tell you hwot.
Oh no way the annoyed ikea employee broke into acting. Thats cool.
well, since this scenario requires first that im in an area with brown bear...... i shoot it with a .338 win mag.
Oli edhow we was talking about how the bear can run 30 mph while ghe drone chased it and ghe speedometer said 100 mph XD all I can picture is a bear speeding by my window faster then my drunk neighbor at 2 AM
Any chance for you to cover Rogue 2007.
How to beat Reupload Thanks to UA-cam
nice video
Bruh i saved this video and couldn’t find it i ended up watching cocain bear on the other how to beat Chanel
You seem to have alot of energy in this video
I was gonna watch the movie but I heard it doesn't show the people getting killed and I decided not to go
Oh it does. It REALLY does. Except for the first kill and the second to last kill.
I wonder if Nerd Explains would upload to Rumble as well so he wouldn’t have to censor so much of his content
What’s rumble?
@@tealablu3759 website for right wing extremists to get away with posting antisemitism and racism without UA-cam guidelines. It’s also full of botted viewers
@@tealablu3759 a YT alternative that isn’t so strict with guidelines
Close bear-counters of the 1st kind.
‘Cokey the bear’ hahaha
With guns and even bigger guns
Nerd are you a fellow Alaskan? Couldn’t help but notice the “lower 48” comment
How to beat *2012* , or not cause that movie was so naturally destructive.
you feeling okay Nerd?
sounds like you got a mouth full of bee stings
Just watched this movie. I thought there would be more Cocaine Bear.
16:30 why you don't body block
or, y'know, instead of using a shitty AI app, you could, like, commission *actual artists* to paint cool stuff for you.
>some of it goes missing
This isn't the Coast Guard. They couldn't possibly account for a hundred bricks of cocaine. What do you even do with seventy-five bricks of cocaine? How did fifty bricks of cocaine even get there? I can't believe two children found twenty-five bricks of cocaine, that's crazy.
If it's brown lay down
If it's black fight back
If it's white, good night.
Good advice for the city too.
I'd project an air of tranquility and speak softly to it.