Always nice finding a Star Wars fanfilm I haven't seen yet! It's the only way I can satisfy my Star Wars craving in these dark disney days. But a flaw I have noticed in a fair number of fan creations is how nothing happens for extended periods of time. There are just several minute long shots of stunning scenery where someone's walking or ships are jumping out of hyperspace, and I really don't think that adds much to the plot. Perhaps my attention span is just ruined, but I really think the pacing is off when there's too much of a focus on those types of scenes in a short film. Also, and this is even more of an insanely nerdy technicality nitpick, but 'The Bread Circus' brought to my attention that in Star Wars lore, all blaster bolts travel at (or very near to the) lightspeed, while the visible part is practically harmless. So flying a fighter into the visible bolt wouldn't do much as the actually damaging part of the shot would have already hit the targeted ship.
An exciting start... who was the guy with the electric gun at the side of the shot? And what kind of a Sith waits for his Jedi prey to get up, and won't fight until they do - even entreating them to get up and carry on a fair fight? Me thinks there's more to this black-clad man than meets the eye. All mysteries which I hope will be revealed in a future episode.
The edit needs a bit of tightening up, you have more than one occasion where you cut to something at doesn't move the story along and just slows everything down so much that you destroy any suspense built up. I would recommend cutting the shot from 14:37 till 14:45, lasts far too long and does nothing for the tension of the scene, it would work a lot better to build up tension if maybe you either had your Sith activate his lightsaber at this point or you cut to it after he activated his lightsaber, as it stands it kills the pacing of the scene. Actually the entire fight scene needs to be trimmed down to build up the speed of the fight. A good piece of advice I've seen on this comes from Film Riot, where they say you should cut your fight scenes as short as possible then slowly lengthen them out until they have the right rhythm and speed. The most important thing in an edit I'd say is to communicate your story, if a shot is cool by doesn't add to the story ditch it. Having the Sith just walk away takes away from the danger of his character, for the next time it would help to push it so your protagonist needs to find his own way out without just being given an easy out. AS for the duel itself I heavily recommend you avoid blade locks as much as you can, unless they serve to help with characterization leave them out. When you get to part 2 I'd recommend also getting your actors to practice the fight for at least a week before you shoot, just so they can fully sell the skill the characters you have written should display, especially your Sith. Take a look at the SaberComp entries from years gone by and see if those can help you come up with fun ways to build up the duels. There are also a few issues with the Force Ghost voice, as a few times I couldn't tell you what it said, so either slightly boost the levels or lower the EQ a bit. It can have echo to it, but make sure your audience knows what's being said. Though going off how this was lit and edited I'd say these are your first steps, it will get better every time you make a new film. I can't wat to see your next film.
I loved the camera angles in this film. Good job, guys! 👍
Always nice finding a Star Wars fanfilm I haven't seen yet! It's the only way I can satisfy my Star Wars craving in these dark disney days.
But a flaw I have noticed in a fair number of fan creations is how nothing happens for extended periods of time. There are just several minute long shots of stunning scenery where someone's walking or ships are jumping out of hyperspace, and I really don't think that adds much to the plot. Perhaps my attention span is just ruined, but I really think the pacing is off when there's too much of a focus on those types of scenes in a short film.
Also, and this is even more of an insanely nerdy technicality nitpick, but 'The Bread Circus' brought to my attention that in Star Wars lore, all blaster bolts travel at (or very near to the) lightspeed, while the visible part is practically harmless. So flying a fighter into the visible bolt wouldn't do much as the actually damaging part of the shot would have already hit the targeted ship.
Good work! Especially the CGI effects are awesome for a fan-film project!
Very nice work, thanks
Good 😊
Wow! Excellent job, Sam!
The frog was Master Toada played by Derwin McRibbits.
An exciting start... who was the guy with the electric gun at the side of the shot? And what kind of a Sith waits for his Jedi prey to get up, and won't fight until they do - even entreating them to get up and carry on a fair fight? Me thinks there's more to this black-clad man than meets the eye. All mysteries which I hope will be revealed in a future episode.
Great job Sam!
Great effort on FX and CGI. Nothing else though. This might have been good if there had been a plot or a script or something.
Nice story!! A little confusing at first, but well done!! A sequel coming??
The sequel is in post-production now!
The edit needs a bit of tightening up, you have more than one occasion where you cut to something at doesn't move the story along and just slows everything down so much that you destroy any suspense built up. I would recommend cutting the shot from 14:37 till 14:45, lasts far too long and does nothing for the tension of the scene, it would work a lot better to build up tension if maybe you either had your Sith activate his lightsaber at this point or you cut to it after he activated his lightsaber, as it stands it kills the pacing of the scene. Actually the entire fight scene needs to be trimmed down to build up the speed of the fight. A good piece of advice I've seen on this comes from Film Riot, where they say you should cut your fight scenes as short as possible then slowly lengthen them out until they have the right rhythm and speed. The most important thing in an edit I'd say is to communicate your story, if a shot is cool by doesn't add to the story ditch it.
Having the Sith just walk away takes away from the danger of his character, for the next time it would help to push it so your protagonist needs to find his own way out without just being given an easy out. AS for the duel itself I heavily recommend you avoid blade locks as much as you can, unless they serve to help with characterization leave them out. When you get to part 2 I'd recommend also getting your actors to practice the fight for at least a week before you shoot, just so they can fully sell the skill the characters you have written should display, especially your Sith.
Take a look at the SaberComp entries from years gone by and see if those can help you come up with fun ways to build up the duels.
There are also a few issues with the Force Ghost voice, as a few times I couldn't tell you what it said, so either slightly boost the levels or lower the EQ a bit. It can have echo to it, but make sure your audience knows what's being said. Though going off how this was lit and edited I'd say these are your first steps, it will get better every time you make a new film. I can't wat to see your next film.
Good work! What did you use to do the CG stuff? Not the lightsabers but the Space stuff.
I used Blender
If you want to watch a Star Wars film, where nothing really happens and you can hear the very muffled voice of a Jedi master, this the film for you.
How long did it take for you?
This film took me around a year to film, and produce
cgi campfire? really? sweeak!