Troye Sivan on Hooking Up w/ Straight Men (One Of Your Girls)
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
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Troye Sivan talks about the inspiration behind his new song "One Of Your Girls"
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Troye saying to the dude "okay girl, whatever" is the perfect response in this situation
I heard that too. Lol perfect. I wonder if hes top or bpttom or verseatile
Anyways
. Good interview. ❤
@@hurricanejakewhy are you even wondering that 💀
@@hurricanejakewhy is that your take away from this?
Weird af baby, get help.
@@jbailleresFr💀
Troye said he is a top lol@@hurricanejake
"There's an empty feeling after hooking up with a straight man" me a straight woman, yep sounds about right
So straight men are sleeping with men and women and yet yall are the ones stuck with the shame And disgust. And the so called straight men's sexuality has to be protected and kept confidential when he's a sexual deviant.
But they’re not straight if they hook up with other men (and *enjoy it!* Its different if they experimented once/twice and found out they didn’t enjoy it). They’re closeted bi queer or gay. That kind of defeats the entire purpose of being straight!
edit for those of you still defending this kind of lying/DL behavior. Its super creepy and predatory honestly. It sounds like straight dudes who lust after and chase lesbian women trying to fulfill a fantasy of theirs and feel “powerful” that they “turned out” a lesbian because he’s so much of a “man” the same kind of predatory logic
@@Risingofthephoenix literally just quoting him. But yeah duh we all know that
@@RisingofthephoenixI’m reading these comments and I see people referring to these men as straight and my mind is like no they are interested in men that is not straight. That just makes them liars. There should be a name for people who lie about their sexuality.
@@Risingofthephoenix But still they act very stereotypically „straight”. Not as every straight guy in real life but really like an insecure, emotionally detached and really deeply drowned in patriarchy guy. Which unfortunately is a big part of straight and “straight” guys. Do you know what I mean? 😅
"They didn't have a girlfriend, I didn't cheat"
Absolute King behavior here. Gotta respect that.
He even sounds offended at so much as the insinuation that he might have done that. That's how you know someone is legit.
Fr why would Zach even say that
Yes, he is. Perfect answer
@@stevensnyder2221are we gonna act like there aren’t gay men who get off on the idea of being with straight men in relationships? literally open grindr.
They sleep with men. They are no longer straight men. And shouldn't be considered as such. You don't get to have it both ways 😝 that makes no sense. Call a spade a spade and stop tip toeing around mens feelings who like to dabble in Sodomy
@@alexandervelez9507but not everyone is like that and that's not everyone's situation
As gay men, this song definitely hits home for some of us that have been attracted to that straight guy we knew we could never have, but have thought/tried indulging in. It’s a pretty intense, confusing, and vulnerable feeling. Incredible writing Troye, the entire album, very well done!
It’s a disappointment everytime so we need to evolve. Queens, let’s move on from str8 men it’s 2023 let’s shake some for the top kings that are gay and love us and cry for us
If you actively get with a guy you KNOW will only use you one time and will never actually love you then it’s ur own issue
@@Matthew-sl8dxdon’t be a hater neow
@@Matthew-sl8dx you can't help who you "love" and love makes people do stupid things 😂
@@lewis3492 I think you're confusing love with lust.
“Whoa bro I’m not gay “
Troye: ok girl whatever
Literally me😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
His voice when he was saying "whoa bro I'm not gay" and "woah slow down" and his hand movements were so funny 😭✋️
"no, you're probably bi"
This reminds me of the comedian Tig Notaro - when she was first getting involved with her now-wife Stephanie, who at the time believed herself to be straight, Stephanie wrote her a long letter about how emotionally connected she felt to her and how drawn she was to her but that she wasn’t attracted to women, and Tig just replied ‘ok dyke’
It's the way u're just willing to let yourself be played like a fool, cause u have the hope (delusion) they're gonna fall in love
it also is very detrimental to have that kinda aproach to think u can do stuff like this ... i mean it breaks u
That's so humiliating. I hope gay men find some self worth someday instead of searching for validation from men that will never love them.
@@favOriTe-v6e I think this is a cruel statement with heavy homophobic undertones and I implore you to look within and ask yourself if you also partake in behaviors that might be damaging because the answer is likely yes - we all self sabotage. It’s not news that everyone’s relationship w themselves and their perceived self worth is being damaged. I see no difference between pining over someone who may never love you and pining over a kpop idol, they are both actions to fill the human requirement of love. Sincere blessings to you. Hope you can speak kinder and learn how not to reduce an entire demographic based on the prejudices incapacitating humanity. You can end the cycle for yourself and loved ones
@@crunkxbella did I lie though? giving your body, energy, attention and love to a straight man IS humiliating *if* you hope he'll love you back someday. Invest that energy in another gay/bi man who might actually appreciate you and love you.
Yet straight men treat their women like Shit because like Steven Crowder says you guys are battling that dr. Jekyll and Hyde syndrome
If men were more honest with each other, the world wouldn’t be in such a horrific state.
VERY important conversation not talked about enough. As someone who has been that gay friend getting used and discarded many many times... it is painful on some level to be someone's desperate booty call, someone's last option... it's not as flattering as it seems (especially long-term).
Troye made a great point when he highlighted communication as a major issue. Straight guys don't want to get to know you, or treat you gently, or publicly claim you in these situations and there's a HUGE lack of dialogue about safe sex, consent, and just boundaries in general. I think for a lot of these guys they want to know as little as possible, but it's just a really empty unsafe way of having sex. Talking is like... considered unsexy in these situations... and it's FUCKED UP
Yes bi girls do this to us lesbians too. I was on this date for hours and once the girl found out I didn't want to hook up, she told me about her bf. Many ( not all) Straight leaning bi people are so sneaky...it's not biphobic to call it out!
The boyfriends of bi women let them cheat, many girls dont want to kiss you they just want you to do all the work..it sucks. I feel u gay guys.
@@SP-mf9sh @SP-mf9sh whoa this makes total sense, but I'd never considered that! Being used as a fantasy/fetish is not a great feeling, and it makes sense that lesbians go through this too :/
And yeah forget about kissing in these situations, it's not about intimacy it's about making THEM feel satisfied... but the bottom line is: the passion of being a "dirty little secret" wears off quickly. Like being a trophy they treasure but never show off. not worth it
@@Cordial_Lump 💯
❤❤❤❤
@@SP-mf9shso this one girl is now an example of all ‘straight leaning’ bi women? I’m sorry but painting us all with broad brushstrokes like that is biphobic. Plus Troye is talking about men who identify as straight, not bi. It’s not the same thing.
I feel like a lot of girls feel this way too, used by men that don't see them as full human beings. Just the dirty secret rather than an honest connection. And that's not to criticise hook-up culture, it more just knowing that you are a fantasy to someone who will eventually move on and pretend it never happened.
If even straight guys are using girls, they’re still getting more affection than the gay guy on the side would ever get from them.
well its not about them
NAH WE CAN CRITICIZE HOOK UP CULTURE BECAUSE THAT'S ALSO ANOTHER ROOT OF THE PROBLEM
Hook up culture needs to be criticized.
Umm, women are ambitionless bodies with a built-in wet disposable rejection hole. You think straight men actually "like" women?
As a trans woman, the lyrics resonate with me on a deep level. If I date a man and I‘m outing myself to him, it‘s always so hard to watch how their behaviour towards me changes so quick. They all want to keep me around as a „friend“, but instead of texting me and asking how my day was at the end the day, they just ask what I‘m wearing right now. Every conversation is slowly turning into a conversation about sex. And that‘s the part that is so strange to me - they obviously have a problem with my body because I‘m trans, which is absolutely fine, yet my body is the only thing they are still interested in. They couldn‘t care less about what I have to say.
@@LonelyHearts.Co24 yeah, they’re a confused man.
I second that as a trans woman!!!
This is a common problem for women in general, welcome to the club.
@@daphnew3597 Not the “they obviously have a problem with my body because I’m trans” (or in your example, being a woman). I mean yeah, but same same, but different. Society doesn’t take issue of a woman’s body. Now, if they take issue with a woman/women in general, that’s a different story…
I hear you girl. I've been transitioning since I was around 13 and after so many years I've realized that male attention (whether straight, bi, pan doesn't matter) really ain't shit! I've been in a couple situations where I basically just let a guy use me sexually and it took me only those couple times to realize that I was worth so much more. Plus, I've noticed that so many guys that I wanted so badly at the beginning of my transition ended up wanting me back eventually, but I didnt feel the validation I expected to feel. I just felt silly for ever putting those men on a pedestal when they didn't have much more to offer than a decent looking face or body, and a douchey, insecure attitude. I think it helps to put yourself on a pedestal and remember how much of a bad bitch we trans women are, we go through things that would make these men shake in their lil shit stained chonies! I have a wonderful years long relationship with my super sweet and handsome bf now, and he's really shown me what kind of cool ass dudes are out there when you don't get distracted by all the horny toads that dgaf if you drop dead tomorrow. Much love to you girl you got this!
I love the conversation about being sex positive, vulnerability and exploration without being labeled as anything. Thank you so much.
Exactly! They talk about sexual disappointments without this boring sex negative sterotypes "all men are evil", "you can only be happy in a monogamous relationship", bla, bla. They just take these encounters for what they are without any judgement.
@@pommesschale5440 Exactly. So refreshing.
Yeah it's so sex positive to label people who sleep with someone in a relationship as cheaters 👏
“That’s not a straight man,” EXACTLY!
Tired of the bi erasure lol
Lol I love how you think you're praising some intelligent progressive attitude but it's just what most people especially men use to reject queerness by compartmentalizing it in its own box. There's a reason why it's meaningful to use the word straight in this context
I love that Troye is a girls girl! “They had girlfriends to go home to” “well I wouldn’t cheat”. Slay we love a king ❤
Yes we do! ❤
it’s bare minimum!
I'm not at all trying to lessen his experience in anyway by saying this but I relate to this song in my own way too. As a plus size woman, I was always a backup plan... A plan b or choice behind closed doors. This song resonates with me too, even my straight experiences.
I understand. In the end all of these interactions boil down to the fetishisation of discriminated communities, be either because of sex, gender, sexuality, body type, looks, disabilities... We are just a tool to scratch their sexual itch because they don't wanna own it up since that could potentially tarnish their social standing. So from what could just be a simple "partner trait preference" we become a fetish.
We can't diet the gay away, Jesus fucking Christ, use your braincell (singular).
This! I don't consider myself to be marginalized or mistreted like the gay community is, but I absolutely know what it feels like as a plus sized woman to be the one a guy calls when he doesn't have any better options. It sucks and it hurts!!
@@arianbuffkin4362 one of the most bittersweet moments of my life was when I 'cheated' on my sneaky link with a dude who was like, actually nice to me lmao. Made me breakfast, walked me home, called me asking to take me out. Then Sneaky link found out via the toxic gossip train and he was *so* mad. Had me crying and apologising like he was my bf. Only months later did I realize I owed nothing to someone who kept me a secret. Partly because I was fat and he was super image conscious. But also because it turned out he had a gf back in Nigeria 😂
u can change ur weight but not ur orientation,
The storytelling, the music, the performance are so well done. Troye is a fucking star ✨️
It is genius
"One of your girls" has to be nominated for the *Grammy* ! Besides being a good and original pop music that you can dance, feel sexy... Has a deeper story line!
Yes!!! 100%
it’s not that good tho
Calm down… a Grammy? Lmao
The Grammy's don't deserve great art. They fell off!!!!!!!
@@Ohmygh0styes, a grammy
The last part got me. The communication and vulnerability in the moment is the only way to enjoy any sexual experience. Openness and trusting the person you’re choosing to experience something new with.
How can that happen when you're with everybody and you're just trying to get your rocks off. Do you want love or a good devilish time.
Im a lesbian and it sometimes feels so depressing to think about how small our dating pool is compared to straight people. I've had the thought that if I was a guy I'd approach women more and my dating life would be very different. I think gay people should have conversations about how the isolation we feel as gay people can cause gender envy, and in some cases that can lead to gender dysphoria.
I’m a straight woman and I have to say I empathize with you. It was bad enough in the me man you woman realm I operated in. The challenges you face must make that very lonely. Best advice I ever got (works for straight or gay I think) was just do the things that you enjoy and you will find your person amongst all the other people doing the thing they love as much as you do. And at the very least, you’re doing something you love to do. 🤷♀️
Lesbian here, I totally agree it’s so damaging when you realize you live in a heteronormative world and just the majority of people rather be in hetero relationships. You feel like your sexuality as a queer person is faulty and that you will never get to experience basic things like being in a relationship or etc
I feel the way us sapphic women label ourselves more openly than queer men can give us a false sense of security, like calling ourselves anything from lesbian to bisexual to pansexual and aromantic, bicurious etc instead of just „gay“ and „ready to explore“.But the truth is loads of women I‘ve met, despite their descriptive label, don’t actually have the intention to ever date another women. That doesn’t mean they arent queer, I believe them, it’s just clear they strongly prefer dating men over women and it isn‘t just bi girls, some of them always talk about how unattracted they are to their bfs but still stay
@@jungkooks_microwavephobia yeah fr😭, it feels like a lot of them don't ever see women as a viable option to date, no matter their attraction to them, and it kinda sucks for the rest of us who actually actively pursue same sex relationships
i was just thinking the same thing earlier today! im a lesbian in a small high school and there’s literally no one for me to date. there r other queer girls but they’re either ppl i don’t like or ppl i’ve been friends with since i was like 7. there r so many great things ab being a lesbian but it’s just infuriating sometimes. ig i have one reason to be excited for college tho lol
We all end up breaking our own hearts by falling for people who will never care for us in the same way/want us back how we want them... and many of us still put ourselves out there in whatever way that person will have us, and end up more scarred for it - whether we're gay, bi, straight, whatever. And you're all worth more! Whether it's romance or just sex for you, you all deserve respect!
You’re not wrong 😢
I appreciate how honest and unguarded he is.
This as a gay woman is a huge wound and pretty much every gay person I know has gone through. I’m so thankful for Troye putting it into music-I have too😭
Gays are homosexual males. I think you mean lesbian
I understand exactly what Troye is saying. I’ve been through that as well a few times. I’m stoked that Troye is so open about talking about this topic. It happens. I felt that interview.
I like how open and honest you both are during this interview. Loving his music and he seems so genuine. love that.
Troy, I haven't been a massive fan of you, but this song struck a chord with me. I was once a drag queen and have picked up several straight men. I was mesmerised by your lyrics and the visuals. You should be very proud of yourself. I'm very impressed.
You picked up ZERO straight men. You are just a QUEEN.
I'm a straight woman but I feel the emptyness in this song. Troye, you did a great job ❤️
STOP giving them what they want BEFORE they tire of you. Enjoy the moment but don’t get wrapped up in the emotions of it. Trust me you’ll have the power in that regard. Put you’re time and energy into men who DON’T see you as a last resort and would be proud to be seen with you in public. Otherwise it’s a lonely life ❤
Their is no enjoyment to be had in using someone else or being used. Dont engage with straight men period. End of story
How about stop sleeping with men who are confused about their sexuality or how about stop flirting with “straight” men then this wouldn’t be a problem. lol idgi
WORD
trying to play a player just makes you another type of player (and oftentimes, predator)...
This song is ICONIC 🛐🛐✨️
Bro literally unpacked the whole feeling
What a beautiful human he is. I was fan of his music before, but now I'm even a bigger fan of him as a person. ❤
100% how I felt. It speaks volumes to hear this from another gay man. Yes I loved it when I was in my early 20s and eventually I realized the reason I was so into it was because these were definitely the same type of guys that bullied me in HS. I was attracted to really thuggish guys, tattoos, in a gang, easily unhinged. These were the exact types that bullied me in HS, calling me a fag even before I came out and it made me aroused to think I was finally getting someone that I would have loved to be with in HS but was so far away from because I was gay and they hated me for it. Non of these guys ever wanted any more then just a hookup from time to time, when they’ve been drinking or when they’ve broken up with their girlfriends even though I always wanted more from it. It was definitely a form of internalized homophobia that I had to break out of but it wasn’t easy.
Interesting, do you think they were bullying you because they were actually attracted to you as well at the time?
@@violethill3745 oh definitely, I mean I hooked up with one of my HS bullied a few years after HS 😂
These dudes were masculine gay and bi men. A straight man never had sex with you. You are a delusional transgender queen. Normal(masculine) men are gay and bi.
as a lesbian this song hits home for me too. i think queer individuals more than anything want to find a love just as easy as our straight counterparts. the hope that we will, drives us to sacrifice a lot of our needs or feelings just to appease someone giving us a chance. having many straight girls reach out to me for sex or flings, just to go be with their boyfriends right after CRUSHED MY SOUL!
they cheated their boyfriend shoukd leave them anyways
YES. I had a friend that would cuddle with me all weekend then go to her bf and hide to him that I was with her.
Straight people have just as much difficulty with their relationships They're relationships are not any easier
Renee rapp "pretty girls" is the lesbian version
It always strange to me here gay people talk like this and not know it is a fetishism. Straight men do not do this. It is gay and bi men who are in denial of who they are that are doing these things. It hard for some people to accept the truth about themselves but we can't let delusion take control.
This was me and MOST MASCULINE AND NORMAL "straight" men. We are really gay or bi and go through denial and can be delusional. We may eventually accept our true selves. Or not. I did. I came to terms with the fact that I'm a masculine, cisgender, bi man, who is primarily gay.
I have attracted mostly straight men since I was a teenager. I have fell into that cycle of their control, the thinking “oh they chose me” make you feel special. Only to later to find out and be crushed by the fact they would never settle down with you.
because they are stuck on a closet....
@@thesapphirem5469 there is so much stigma and for some it’s only physical.
Then they aren’t straight lol don’t fool yourself
They're not straight though. I feel like people purposely forget what straight is and use it as some kind of trophy to gloat about. "I got me a straight man" like a straight dude does with lesbians like it's some kind of prize they won when in reality she wasn't really a lesbian as much as the guy that you bagged was "straight". Hate to break it to you but straight men aren't interested in men. Periodt. Congrats you got yourself a DL gay or bi dude at best.
@@owenbeharry8478 you're Delusional.
Man, that's deep. I've always been the other guy. My friend that's 'straight' would always contact me when he was in the mood. After awhile I realized that I'm nothing to him. Last call. It does make you feel cheap but I am also getting something out of it too. So it's not all 100% bad.
I just want yo say Troye is extremely gorgeous and so beautiful. He is truly angelic and I love him sooo much and He is such a talented artist!! I've been listening to the album on repeat and I can't get enough of it🎉❤Its amazing fr
He dropped 3 amazing singles leading up to an amazing album. Congrats Troye
This song is so brilliant! I am obsessed. I’m so happy to hear his thoughts on it. I feel like so many folks will resonate with it. The music video is perfection.
Lots of good songs on the album but he right. This is by far the best!!!!!
5:15 TROYE'S FACE was like TEA!!🤣
I legit screenshotted
THIS 😂😂
Katya: Teeeaaaaa
If a guy who usually hooks up with girls, hooks up with another guy then he's bi, not straight. Whether he wants to acknowledge it or not.
I was "straight". I can assure you it's denial on our part. I now accept I am a madcine bisexual man, who is even primarily gay. I am fairly discreet and naturally "pass".
Thank you Troye for writing this! Thankfully this hasn't happened to me too many times but in my at least a couple of experiences being with straight men, I definitely felt like trash afterwards
I love the conversations bc its all needs to be said!!! I love Troye bc he's so talented and amazing...
I think anyone can relate to this song and the video regardless of your sexual orientation and gender identity. It's about unrequited love and being used. Anyone can feel the pain of that. That said, the song is beautiful and the video is absolutely stunning.
This video is EXTREMELY important specially for younger guys who could experience this in their lives. It really wrecks you and kinda fumbles your vision on relationships and love. Cause you’re being used by someone who has NO REMORSE of their actions towards you. Cause they know how deep you have fallen.
I love Troye's music because it's just so full of emotions. His songs talk about deeper issues, and even if I could never understand how it feels to be in his situation, I think seeing his perspective is very interesting.
A lot of gay men have this obsession to be like ‘I managed to turn him gay’… I HEARD THIS SAYING SOOO MUCH!!! What’s the ego for? What’s so special about hooking with a ‘straight man’? It’s so weird 😂
Then they are not straight. 🌸💖
what's the insecurity for? it's clearly special because you're the exception to an otherwise heterosexual male or female
@@keepsus7738 if he hooks up with you, he is hooking up with other men, there is no exception delusional
@@littlej3745 other men maybe but never you and that’s why you’re so bothered.
Exactly, internalized homophobia.
So loved this open and authentic conversation. It felt like I was sitting in my living room listening to mates. Love Troye 🫶🏼
Troye, you don’t need be anyone’s dalliance or experiment. You are a destination.
5:39 troye's face here needs to become a meme lmaooo
honestly such an amazing song one of my favs currently
This interview is a gift to society thank you Zach and Troye!
I feel like as gay guys lots of us are attracted not to straight men but to masculinity and I include myself in that. The thing is that it is easier to find it in straight guys and that's why so many gay guys submit themselves to that situation
Edit: in my case I can easily pass as straight and that is kind of an issue because the guys I'm interested in are either straight or like me and I'd never be able to tell if they are gay
@@thatkidjerm yup
I mean, you can still perform masculinity even if you have a few feminine traits or mannerisms
Boy shut up. You're still a male
Yeah I like guys with a relaxed casual vibe and that's often seen as masculine. Straight guys most often have that steady rock vibe and gay guys are usually not like that. That's why I'm into straight guys. It's not about "internalized homophobia" or whatever. I also like deeper voices.
Troye is always fun to listen to. I like his reactions.
people have such a narrow view of sexuality including their own. bisexuality is real and these men sleeping with men and feeling sexual attraction to other men by definition cannot be straight. true straight men do not feel the need to experiment.
Let’s not forget pansexuality, that label is often forgotten in these topics.
100%
Very much this.
You’re absolutely right
I was a "straight" guy. I was just a masculine bi guy in denial. End of story.
This is an incredibly important clip. I appreciate what Troye said at the end. It’s how I’ve been with women who want to explore with me. If they trust me with their vulnerability it should be honored. I just love everything about this clip.
Troye's dismal poker face before mischievously saying "I'm going to watch that later" about the video out there somewhere in cyberland was actually hilarious 😂
This song is really well written, you can apply troye’s feeling’s not just to the lgbt+ community, as a bisexual woman this song nailed it into the fact of what some straight men want from you, and is this homogeneous beauty from girls, pretty small girls, or whatever the case is, as a fat woman I struggled with men who I thought they would accept me and my body, but they never fall in love with it.
Men are visual creatures they fall in love with what they see men don't like fat ugly women
How does this song apply to anyone except gays and lesbians? Leave it to a bi woman to see a gay guy and invite herself in to lecture them about indulging her narcissism
Troye is so incredibly articulate. Thank you for sharing.
This conversation is so important, so awesome that he speaks about it. Awesome!
I'm all for gender & sexual neuro-diversity, but not to be used as a trophy. It's pretty common in North East Asia where sexuality is swept so far under the rug that the notion of love or an emotional connection with someone of the same sex is seen as futile or hopeless because of family or societal pressures. I really hope that Troye's album will resonate strongly with Asian in the East and not only in the West. It's a groundbreaking album and something that not even George Michael could properly address in his music (albeit subversively) even though I know he wanted to. Troye is of a different generation and we really need more mainstream voices like Troye to bring these stories into the consciousness of people and at least an attempt to normalise gender and queer issues, which I definitely think can be achieved through art.
As someone who lives in Korea, I resonate with your comment and this interview a lot!
Did you seriously take a gay topic and make it about autistic jackasses? You just snuck that in there? So anywhere gays go, you want to generalize their issues and try and sabotage it by making it impossible to speak of? You see a gay man and immediately invite yourself in there to talk about “neuro diversity”?
Amazing chat! Troye is so clever and amazing! I love and appreciate his vulnerability and how he exposed that❤ thanks Troye❤❤
They aren’t straight men if they are sleeping with men 😂
And so?
@@floppy_hands1770 use your whole brain. Maybe you’ll find the answer.
There are many gay men who've had experimental phases with women earlier in life. Likewise, there are some straight men who have had experimental phases men earlier in life. Its the same psycho-sexual explorative experience for many gay and straight men alike. If you disagree, please try to incorporate both straight and gay men in your answer (for logical consistency).
@@shizkiz1 yawn 🥱
@@Sua_sponte_is_weak It's fine if you find it boring.
No such thing. "Straight" guys do not have gay sex.
Yes they do
@@ionasmith1998 They're bisexual probably
I loved this interview!!! The T of it all! Listen these guys are straight, they're just flexible or curious, that doesn't make them anything other they claim to be. It's on us (society) to let be known that it's cool to do what you want with who you want just be real, safe and healthy about it.
don't you think that the only reason these supposed straight guys insists so much on being straight is bc we live in a society where being gay is so demonized and stigmatized to the point where you can lose your job, friends, family and depending where you live you can even be killed?? Like, there's so much stigma and shame about being gay , it's so easy to just be straight and they try so hard to not be seen as one of us, internalized homophobia and homophobia in general makes it so difficult for anyone to identify anything other than straight, some gay guys only accept their sexuality later in life, there's some old gay dudes who only just started dating men in their 50s or 60s, bc it's hard for a lot of us to accept this reality. I personally think that in a perfect world where homophobia doesn't affect our existence, these ''straight curious'' guys wouldn't have any problems identifying as bisexuals or anything other than straight, I think we wouldn't even have labels to begin with but this is another topic already.....
After reading your comment I think to the last scene with Ben in Heartstopper when he tries to apologize to Charlie. And that scene makes me think of how the mass shooters recently at queer bars have been closeted queer people themselves, having eerily similar stories to Ben’s. But then I also think straight people who have sex with the same gender exist. I think internalized queerphobia is destroying this planet, but I also think when we are free of it there will still be straight guys having sex with guys. And I think that will be the case because the closet has given us supernatural powers, and there will always be people to bring inside.
@@johnparvin6295 have you considered that these ''straight guys'' who have sex with the same gender are bisexuals in denial, afraid of dealing with the shame of being seen with someone of the same gender ?? In heartstopper,Ben is bisexual, he isn't ready to come out like charlie and nick, but he understands that he's bi, he isn't lying to himself trying to convince his own mind that he's straight, he understood his bisexuality and is afraid of letting the world knows about, which is fine and a completely normal situation. Now if you look IRL, you'll notice that most of these guys really believe that they are straight and even some of them get mad at people who suggest otherwise, I think this is just another example of how internalized homophobia affects our lives so much to the point where some of us are willing to live our whole lives in denial...
@@MsMuruthifor some of them? For sure. But I don’t think it applies to most. I think there’s a clear difference between sexuality and emotionality, basically they can have sex with almost anyone, the sexual urges are there and the sexual attraction. But their feelings only surge for women, that’s what makes them straight more than loving pu**y. Their emotional attraction is.
People like you are the problem. I'm so tired of fwords constantly trying to defend "straights" just because they fetishize them. If you have sex with a man, and you're a man - you're not straight, idgaf. Also, everyone is talking about how we don't need labels, but they still call them straight (back to fetishization). I'm not saying they're gay, but they ain't straight either.
"It's on us (society) to let be known that it's cool to do what you want with who you want just be real, safe and healthy about it", yeah, one word caught my eye - REAL. "Straighs" should be real and do some soul searching.
Anyway, privilege is real, and I know it since I have it. I'm straight passing and fwords were eating me up when I "marketed" myself as straight.
honestly, the album is so amazing!!!!!!
When I was in my 20s there were 3 straight guys I worked with at various times that I had crushes on and used to flirt with and we were friends and they seemed to like the attention. All 3 of them at one point or another drunkenly called me at like 3am wanting to hook up. Honestly if that had ever happened in person where we were already hanging out and they came on to me I wouldn't have been able to resist. They were all hot and I had feelings for them. But something about being woke up by a drunk person just made me angry so I was like "Fuck off and go to bed" and I never brought it up to them. When strangers claiming to be straight wanted to hook up with me it used to sort of skeeve me out a bit for some reason. I think it felt a bit too dangerous for me. Like they might want it now but might change their mind after the fact and be mad and get violent.
You've got good instincts
They're not straight then.
It should skeeve you out. They don’t have their sexuality figured out, u dont wanna be their guinea pig, it just leads to getting hurt.
@@J1mmyMackso you mean, if a gay guy hook up with a girl then he is no more gay?
Mad respect to you.
Wow... This entire interview was like a therapy session for me. Feels good to hear people say these things out loud because I have had this happen multiple times and it never ended well. Yet I continued to accept these people in my life in the naive thought it might work out. But yes communication and honesty would have made those situations much less destructive and hurtful. Great interview and love the video. Casting Ross Lynch was so HOT hahaha.
Troyes facial expressions are so funny lmao
Wow. This is just so deep. It hits right into the core. This conversation. 😢
He's so handsome.
It touched me in places I've only been touched by str8 guys. The lyrics resonated with me instantly. Failing in love with someone you could never have forever with. Its bittersweet for sure. The video is great too! JS
What's love got to do with it? You must've lost your mind
Were bi or gay men. YOUare a delusional queen and slept with MASCULINE gay or bi men.
What really sucks is that your whole relationship is often entirely on the “straight” guy’s terms
Gays, please stop saying that you've been with, entertained, or pursued a "straight" guy. If this is the case, he is not straight.
Nah. I don't think this is how this works
I could agree at the time that maybe said guy was leaning toward bi curious
But you're able to try something and realize it's not for you and have it not change your whole identity
This being said however if
being that queer person they're experimenting with feels awful stop doing it.
You can try a thing and decide that you don't actually like the thing
@jwilsthem.c3780 | A male who is truly straight wouldn't even consider trying anything with another male.
Real straight men are only attracted to women & don't find the same sex sexually attractive at all.
If you cross that gay threshold, you are no longer straight in my eyes because I don't believe that it will only happen once.
@@jwilsthem.c3780 nah that's not how this works. If you participate in sodomy as a man with other men then you are not straight. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too then have the audacity to not call a spade a spade because you're a punk and wanna have your forbidden fruit. Be brave and live in your truth not just behind closed doors.
This is an understated situation that has been a constant in my life. And it does make you feel empty and confused and in some way rejected but you hang on to atleast you had sex. It's a very strange thing that no one wants to talk about or realizes is even there. Or it's just dismissed as oh they're in the closet.
ngl this is how I've felt hooking up with SOME openly bi men too. Obviously there are plenty of bi men who are very open to the idea of like falling in love with another man but there are definitely some bi men where even if they've made the leap into accepting that they are into men, they're still very attached to a more heteronormative conception of romance and love. They'll be down to hook up with guys and own that they are legitimately attracted to men but they are completely unwilling to commit to a guy in the way they are with girls. Ultimately that's their choice but if you're going to treat gay men or even other bi men as essentially just a booty call you gotta be up front about that being all they are to you.
even though i'm a girl, this is incredibly relatable to me. i've experienced it multiple times, being the girl the guys hook up with, but it's always only the hooking up that's on the table.
I think I just passed out. I relate so badly to everything Troye said in this interview.
my fav on the album too but not just the story and the lyrics man its a vibe
This interview hits so close to him it kinda hurts a bit 😭
breaking news: they're not straight 😭
That part-
I think what some people mean is they want a masculine male. Straight men by definition don’t sleep with other men.
Yeah just closeted masculine gay men
Straight presenting. Y’all are so dense. Also, you wouldn’t say someone isnt gay if they had sex with a woman. You might say they were bisexual but if they told you they were gay you would accept it. Stop making straight a purity test and gay a dumping ground.
Exactly!
I can totally agree to what Troye is saying in the last few min of this video, after newfound self discovery, I’m bisexual and completely understand the vibe of being vulnerable and open to someone. Communication is the ultimate key to either more consensual exploration with someone or letting someone in and giving it (sexual encounter) a shot to see if they are cool with it. It does suck when said person is insecure or unsure about taking that next step and once you’re vulnerable they come off as harsh or brash and completely make you feel terrible for even extending trust like that in the 1st place. Very awesome song Sivan, love the entire album 💿😇💜💙🩷🩶💜🤍✨🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
Troy alway puts very valid experiences into music in such a dynamic way… Rush and One of your Girls illustrates why we can get stuck on these cycles and create this situation of desperation where two people are bound but yet so distant due to internalized homophobia and sexual desire
Who’s gonna tell him straight men don’t hook up with men
Found out my ex fiancé was gay, and this song gives me chills, but I listen to it everyday to give me some peace about it.
I appreciate your honesty in storytelling…
Troye never gets a Grammy or an award for his music 🎶 & I've been listening too him since day one so underrated
***ZACH is as OPEN as TROYE! This Conversation is SO West Hollywood!
I just..feel like saying...sorry. Sorry on behalf of everyone who hurt you (the reader of this comment) with a similar situation...leaving you stranded or confused or empty was the worst they did. Karma for sure balances it out. Sending healings to you
It was 10 years ago (in 2013) I came across the video, The Fault In Our Stars. Troye talked a bit at the front end of the video and it was pretty evident this was more than a rising influencer on UA-cam. When you watch that video and listen to him - you know he is a very special human being and - yes - a talent. He continues to try to make the world a better place.
Its also my favorite on the album! 👏🏻💖
whats the name of the song
one of my favorite troye songs as well
From my experience, there are tons of "straight men" that are particularly into trans women, but by extension into twinks like Troye. It's why the song is such a good summary, because it does have to do with femininity, those men are not "straight", but they are bisexual that lean towards the feminine, and twinky submissive guys like Troye just fall into that category for them.
He's not inherently submissive for appearing more feminine. And femme- attracted men are largely heterosexual. Signed, a Tgirl
@@jesslynnhoppekeiser5352 i think he said in this interview he wanted to "serve" them. It was clear from the song that he means it in a submissive way. I'm not making a blanket statement about women, trans women, or even gay men like Troye, but in this case he's explicitly talking about submission to "straight" men.
Submission/dominance is a whole different thing than leaning to one or another gender
@@mrbabluep indeed, but there is significant overlap. There are always exceptions and different dynamics though.
@@jesslynnhoppekeiser5352nope, if they're attracted to the same sex (you, a male), they are not heterosexual.
LOVED that he got shocked at the assumption that those guys had girlfriends, cheating is NOT OK
As a bisexual women I feel this song on both sides. Like I remember being a teen with strict parents dating girls and being like "nope just friends" . As an adult though experienced more the other side with both men and women. Theres times you can get absolutely attached to people who do not actual want to date you and it makes you feel empty. Like here we are hooking up and being cute and couply in private but the second we are out in public it is secret. Either is be from being closeted or just someone who doesn't commit. This song just really ecapsulates all those feeling so well and the video for it is amazing.
People like that enjoy the power they hold over other people.
side note: this was me finding out zach has a boyfriend??? 🥺🥺
this man deserves the world ugh yasss
Very smart kid. I like how he takes his life experience and turns it into a song.
We need to call it what it is. It’s insecurity and yes internalized homophobia. So many gays are exclusively attracted to men who are “straight acting” masc for masc, which is such a ridiculous standard to place because 80% of gays whom are comfortably with their sexuality would not be considered “masc” it’s basically repulsion to femininity which is so pathetic and needs to be addressed.
"Straight-acting" and "masc" are different things though. How many gays are into femboys? People like different things in their partner.
@@the11382 straight acting and masc are synonymous babe.
I don’t think is pathetic necessarily it is natural if you attracted to men. The idea of a full sexually attractive man as society and nature sees it.
If anything it goes to show the psychology incompatibility of 2 males who like males. Unless you are truly open minded or willing to embody the two roles for each other . And not being only “the woman” or “the man” which also doesn’t make sense for a gay relationship
his explanation is spot on and is so canon
THEY ARE NOT STRAIGHT.
I was "straight". It's simply denial.
Trust, I'm a bi dude.