I'm so on Julie's side. I owned my own house when I married at 42. I did NOT put my husband's name on the house because he tended to be financially irresponsible at times and I didn't want to risk him doing something like taking out a loan with the house as collateral. It was a good thing I didn't add his name, because we divorced after two years.
@vickicole4787 we moved into rented house, and 20 years later, after DV, I nearly lost my home because my name wasn't on the contract. As it was, I stayed and he was offered another place. I was a carer to our child then , but if I was on my own, I wouldn't have gotten any help . Single people don't, and HE had more right to the house, despite me paying all the bills, incl. Rent
My concern would be , once he got his name on the deed, would be his mother moving in, taking over If she ( mother)has that much money to invest , why not buy HER son his own place ?
Yeah that definitely sounds like that was the plan. Because if Darren had half ownership of the house, then she would have said something along the lines of “Well because this is my son’s house too, I’m able to live here too. And what he says goes” ICK 😒
It's not about her not wanting his name on the house just because, it's about him not respecting the sentimental value, and that if they got divorced with his name still on the house, she'd lose it in the proceedings.
No. She likely wouldn’t. It would likely be able to be argued that while yes she let him on the house it was bought before their marriage. She might be able to argue it. I won my case when I argued the same thing.
@@Bekkmyster Nope. You're 100% wrong. Just because you got a decent judge doesn't mean all are. As it stands with just her name on it, it's a before-marriage asset. It requires only her name on it to remain a before-marriage asset, even after marriage. Adding a spouse's name to property owned before marriage can change the property's status from separate to marital property. This is known as transmutation. In a divorce, a court can divide marital property, but separate property is not subject to equitable distribution. You got SERIOUSLY LUCKY!
If Pamela had $750k why didn't she buy her son a house in his name?😏.... she's full of it... she was way too invested in Julie's house and getting her sons name put on the house...
The house is paid off, that’s what he’d be getting. Darren needs a reality check and cut the cord from his mommy. MIL needs to shut up and stay out of her son’s relationships. Hope Julie dumps him and his mother. She deserves so much better
No way NO HOW do you put anyone name on a house they aren’t paying for or was paid for BEFORE they were in the picture. Is this MIL NUTS or something? Has to be the misogyny and narcissism
Exactly, right??! She just wants control over her future DIL!!! So obviously greedy and manipulative. It's almost a good thing the MIL exposed herself so soon, what a mommy's boy her fiance is- she would have been a NIGHTMARE to live with!!😂😂
I bet Darren was the kind of kid who broke his friends’ toys when they said ‘no you can’t play with them’ and Darren was confused bc ‘I asked nicely therefore I get what I want’ is how he was raised
Red flags flying everywhere. Asking too many questions about the houses worth. My GF is a homeowner. I could imagine his enthusiasm if she owned a mansion.
This wasn't about his name on the house, it was about the fact that MIL then him wanted to insert themselves in her INHERITANCE. Not only is it the only thing she has of her father. It is LITERALLY her INHERITANCE! No one has the right to touch their partners INHERITANCE. Regardless of the sentimental value and monetary value, it is her INHERITANCE. Get that through your heads Pamela and Darren!
The house is Julie's alone. He wants his name on her house but says he doesn't want money. Selling the house if they break up would give him money for free. Seeing as how her parents bought that house for her and her alone that would not be right.
First the future MIL wants to give her $40k then at the end she says she was going to give her $500K and was going to give her an additional $200K. Confusing.
ALLOWING DUDE TO LIVE FOR FREE !! WAS THE FIRST MISTAKE ! NOT MAKING HIM PUT IN 50%. FAIR MARKET RENT ! NEXT TIME ! BOYFRIEND MUST PUT 50%. TOWARDS HOME 🏡
It's always funny to me how the Mother/Son or Father/Daughter pairs in these types of stories have such an inflated sense of self until the person they'er trying to con bursts their bubble. If they'er so freaking great why don't they just move on to someone else lol.
I had a house one time that was 640 ft.². It was the same size as a double wide mobile home. It was tiny. If these two have kids in the future, where are the kids gonna sleep? Btw…. I ended up losing the house because I coowned it with a boyfriend/fiance and later we broke up. The previous owner/landlord raked us over the coals and managed to get the house back from us. We both had health issues and couldn’t afford a lawyer. We both didn’t want a relationship anymore so, we lost all the down payment and monthly mortgage we’d paid.
"I'm not asking you for money or anything, I just want half of the house". I think common sense would tell you that half of the house is a form of money. Unless the house is very small and old, $40k is not going to be half of it. The bigger problem is that darren was fine with everything that was going on until his mother interceded. Either they have some kind of diabolical plan or Darren is a mommy's boy who thinks he can get something for free. If he claims the issue is not between him and his girlfriend why is he asking his girlfriend to call his mom to talk about it?
NEVER put a partners name on a house YOU bought, or was gifted before yall were together, if yall get divorced it will be fought over in court and you will legally have to split it even if he/she wasnt the one who helped pay for it, or part of the gift it was going towards. same goes for houses or other property left for your inheritance NEVER put someone elses name on it, besides someone you plan on leaving it for when you pass away i.e children. if your husband loved you he would respect your wishes. MIL should be happy DIL even has a house for yall to live in together, houses are expensive in this day and age, and shes not the one who paid for it, it was gifted. also who thinks 40k is even enough for a house in this day and age, cuz its not, especially the type of house it is, the area it is, and the land its on, that doesnt even include how many bedrooms and bathrooms there are either. youd be lucky to get a place for 40k, especially one thats nice and dont have to be fixed up, cuz thats honestly what a 40k house would need, a good fixing up. looking online where i live i found a house for 90k and its pretty much a blank house for you to fix up and do as you like to it, most of the other houses were almost 200k and higher. MIL def dont know how much houses are these days and it shows unless this aint in america and idk how much houses cost outside of the US
The house is her inheritance...why does his name need to be on the house he didn't put a penny in?. It's not his house or his mother's.. she had that house way before even meeting him, why would she put his name on it?. Darrens mom wasn't the entire problem.. darren was.. he doesn't seem to have a mind of his own and will listen/follow whatever nonsense his mom tells him... his mom wanted his name on the house so she can come and go into her house as she pleased without having to ask DIL.. she probably planned on moving in..
Red flags abound! Dump this baggage and move on OP not a match! He can go back to his mother! Your dad brought you the house! Don’t take her money! Don’t put his name on the deed to your house! If his mommy wants to give 40 thousand to put his name on your house! Tell her to buy him a house! Don’t marry Darren! His mom will be a problem for the rest of your life! Maybe Darren should have shut his mom down instead of going along with his mom so as not to cause trouble! Dump Darren today!
Let's say mom owns her own home, is Darrens name on it? If so, then Darren should put Julies name on it too, so when mom dies it will be both of theirs.
if he wants on the house, put him on the house BUT make him sign another contract stating if yall divorce he cant fight for the house as well as he cant sell it without your say, he only is owner by name, and has no real rights to the house, if he doesnt sign the contract then he wont get his name on the house as he more then likely had bad intentions with the house, i.e selling it or trying to fight you in court for it, ive heard too many stories of people selling properties since their names were on the deed too without the actual owners permission (the one who actually bought it) and of course cant really do anything legally about it since theyre legally on the deed, the contract is there to protect you, they sell it then they will get in trouble as theyre signing away their rights to the house even tho their name is legally on the deed its only there to be there to look pretty and nothing else
Trying to make this DIL dependent on her husband for sure and if he wants to kick her out, she's lost everything. No way MIL. Take a hike and kick the boyfriend to the curb if he agrees with his mother. If the MIL has that much money, then why doesn't she buy a house for her son and put it in his name? This way, no woman can take it in a marital division of assets. A prenup would be the answer for sure, even for a new boyfriend.
9:54 That Mil 🤬🤬, even thinking her son deserves to be put on the deed to a house he didn’t even pay for all to satisfy her, absoulty no way the entitlement coming from Pamela & Darren is just ridiculous, he is such a mommas boy going along with his mothers ridiculous reasons and gaslighting her into what they want nah fk off and buy your own house if it’s that important to you then your name will be on your own deed what a pair of filthy gold diggers the both of them
Girl can't learn from her own mistakes. She was with Darren longer than rebound guy, and she didn't really know him until after and before marrying him since when she met mil, she said they were married already. Then after all that, she was with new guy and planning marriage I under 6 months. She really wants to marry every guy she goes on a date with.
I moved to the Netherlands to live with my girlfriend in the house she owns not once did I think of it being in both our names. That was 14 years ago. Last year after her mum died she put my name on the house because she was worried if something happened to her her family woud cause problems. But not once did a think it.
If she wanted it to be 50/50 she would have to give her half the amount of the house song of 4000 house you'd have to give her $200,000 not a measly $40,000 I mean 40,000 that's a car
Wow so julie splits with the mama boy then meets some one else then has a baby. And she did that after splitting up in six months .your pregnant for ten months not six. Yes some babies come early but her's dident.
@@annicetucker9563 exactly. My grandmother married a man who tried to claim “rights” to her house in the divorce. Judge laughed him out of the courtroom and made him pay all the expenses.
Anything brought into the marriage is not classed as an asset for divorce purposes, including property. So he would not have any claim to it at all. (my cousin kept her house after her divorce, bc it was hers before she got married and she paid the mortgage. Her ah of an ex did nothing at all, unless you count the fraud of taking multiple loans out in her name and then f*cking off, which she's still having to pay off almost 15 years later. 🤷)
![【Apple】MIL belittled my job-until she discovered my father's identity.[Jumbo]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nGxSx8xdH_M/mqdefault.jpg)
![【Apple】MIL belittled my job—until she discovered my father's identity.[Jumbo]](/img/tr.png)
This is basically her inheritance and he wants half of it for nothing. Girl, run!!
I'm so on Julie's side. I owned my own house when I married at 42. I did NOT put my husband's name on the house because he tended to be financially irresponsible at times and I didn't want to risk him doing something like taking out a loan with the house as collateral. It was a good thing I didn't add his name, because we divorced after two years.
P
@vickicole4787 we moved into rented house, and 20 years later, after DV, I nearly lost my home because my name wasn't on the contract. As it was, I stayed and he was offered another place. I was a carer to our child then , but if I was on my own, I wouldn't have gotten any help . Single people don't, and HE had more right to the house, despite me paying all the bills, incl. Rent
Darren inherited his mother's gift of gaslighting and guilt trips.
Is he offering to pay for half the house...?
But he does not, does he! He wants half a house for nothing!
Good on letting him go! 😂
My concern would be , once he got his name on the deed, would be his mother moving in, taking over
If she ( mother)has that much money to invest , why not buy HER son his own place ?
I have no doubt that was her exact plan.. she was way too invested on getting her sons name on a house he had absolutely nothing to do with..
Yeah that definitely sounds like that was the plan. Because if Darren had half ownership of the house, then she would have said something along the lines of “Well because this is my son’s house too, I’m able to live here too. And what he says goes” ICK 😒
Why not be super proud of your wife and DIl to have this excellent opportunity to know ur son and DIl not be in debt with housing costs
If Darren really thinks his name on the house deed "is it really that big of a deal", then why is he and his mother pushing it so much.
It's not about her not wanting his name on the house just because, it's about him not respecting the sentimental value, and that if they got divorced with his name still on the house, she'd lose it in the proceedings.
It's good to see a male in that role. Too many women are stuck like this after investing time and money only to walk away with nothing
Agree
No. She likely wouldn’t. It would likely be able to be argued that while yes she let him on the house it was bought before their marriage. She might be able to argue it. I won my case when I argued the same thing.
@@Bekkmyster Nope. You're 100% wrong.
Just because you got a decent judge doesn't mean all are.
As it stands with just her name on it, it's a before-marriage asset. It requires only her name on it to remain a before-marriage asset, even after marriage.
Adding a spouse's name to property owned before marriage can change the property's status from separate to marital property. This is known as transmutation. In a divorce, a court can divide marital property, but separate property is not subject to equitable distribution.
You got SERIOUSLY LUCKY!
Sak: You're 100% Right.
Every time he opens his mouth, her father's ghost is shouting NOOOO!!
Darren...go live with your mommy, I'm sure you'll be happy with her...
If Pamela had $750k why didn't she buy her son a house in his name?😏.... she's full of it... she was way too invested in Julie's house and getting her sons name put on the house...
The house is paid off, that’s what he’d be getting. Darren needs a reality check and cut the cord from his mommy. MIL needs to shut up and stay out of her son’s relationships. Hope Julie dumps him and his mother. She deserves so much better
No way NO HOW do you put anyone name on a house they aren’t paying for or was paid for BEFORE they were in the picture. Is this MIL NUTS or something? Has to be the misogyny and narcissism
If Pamela has that much money why didn't she buy Darren a house of his own?
Exactly, right??! She just wants control over her future DIL!!! So obviously greedy and manipulative. It's almost a good thing the MIL exposed herself so soon, what a mommy's boy her fiance is- she would have been a NIGHTMARE to live with!!😂😂
@@twiceshy9773 Yep, it was all about control.
I bet Darren was the kind of kid who broke his friends’ toys when they said ‘no you can’t play with them’ and Darren was confused bc ‘I asked nicely therefore I get what I want’ is how he was raised
Remodel? Why? If he's put down as co-owner his mother will be over there anytime she wants saying this is part of her son's house too😮😢
If money is no object for Pamela, go buy your son a house!!!
Another mother in law destroys her son's possible future happiness
No. He destroyed his own future happiness by choosing to just go along with his horrible mother.
Red flags flying everywhere. Asking too many questions about the houses worth. My GF is a homeowner. I could imagine his enthusiasm if she owned a mansion.
This wasn't about his name on the house, it was about the fact that MIL then him wanted to insert themselves in her INHERITANCE. Not only is it the only thing she has of her father. It is LITERALLY her INHERITANCE! No one has the right to touch their partners INHERITANCE. Regardless of the sentimental value and monetary value, it is her INHERITANCE. Get that through your heads Pamela and Darren!
All he sees is the money he could get from the house, it's her house not just a piece of cake you can cut in two to share.
She dodged a huge bullet
Your fiance is crazy you better get out of a relationship now and the mother-in-law's even worse
He should buy his own house/his name only!!!!!
The house is Julie's alone. He wants his name on her house but says he doesn't want money. Selling the house if they break up would give him money for free. Seeing as how her parents bought that house for her and her alone that would not be right.
Good story
First the future MIL wants to give her $40k then at the end she says she was going to give her $500K and was going to give her an additional $200K. Confusing.
My first thought was future MIL was saying she was being generous and allowing her to keep her 500k house. Hence giving her 500k.
@@CuriousMess61 That's stretching things quite a bit.
Jesus, some people would rather sacrifice a limb before they set their ego aside😮💨
Nope. I own my house and if I get married my house STAYS in my name only.
Time for a prenuptial agreement.
32:35 Pamela the control freak who thinks she is entitled to everything, yeah go by the house and they attack you
ALLOWING DUDE TO LIVE FOR FREE !! WAS THE FIRST MISTAKE ! NOT MAKING HIM PUT IN 50%. FAIR MARKET RENT ! NEXT TIME ! BOYFRIEND MUST PUT 50%. TOWARDS HOME 🏡
Why would anyone want to marry him? It is HER HOUSE! They are so selfish.
It's always funny to me how the Mother/Son or Father/Daughter pairs in these types of stories have such an inflated sense of self until the person they'er trying to con bursts their bubble. If they'er so freaking great why don't they just move on to someone else lol.
Boy, they sure dragged the life out of that story! LOL
700 square feet? My small apartment is a little over 800 square feet and its small.
I had a house one time that was 640 ft.². It was the same size as a double wide mobile home. It was tiny. If these two have kids in the future, where are the kids gonna sleep?
Btw…. I ended up losing the house because I coowned it with a boyfriend/fiance and later we broke up. The previous owner/landlord raked us over the coals and managed to get the house back from us. We both had health issues and couldn’t afford a lawyer. We both didn’t want a relationship anymore so, we lost all the down payment and monthly mortgage we’d paid.
My current efficiency apartment is 300 square feet. At this stage in my life, age 70, I would be absolutely thrilled with 700 square feet.
It's all about control control control the inlaws an him want....RUN!!!!
This guy needs to stop being a momma boy and respect Julie’s opinion on the matter. To lose his fiancé over this is so sad
Lovely background..thanks for sharing
So they wanted $250k worth of assets for $40k in cash? 😳 MIL and fiancé may have gotten an ‘A+’ in audacity but they failed arithmetic. 🤦🏽♀️😂
Sticks and stones may break my bones, 🎶but I got all the property~🎵
I had 5 sons and adopted several more. I would never be an interfering mil. Its their lives after all.
"I'm not asking you for money or anything, I just want half of the house". I think common sense would tell you that half of the house is a form of money. Unless the house is very small and old, $40k is not going to be half of it. The bigger problem is that darren was fine with everything that was going on until his mother interceded. Either they have some kind of diabolical plan or Darren is a mommy's boy who thinks he can get something for free. If he claims the issue is not between him and his girlfriend why is he asking his girlfriend to call his mom to talk about it?
NEVER put a partners name on a house YOU bought, or was gifted before yall were together, if yall get divorced it will be fought over in court and you will legally have to split it even if he/she wasnt the one who helped pay for it, or part of the gift it was going towards. same goes for houses or other property left for your inheritance NEVER put someone elses name on it, besides someone you plan on leaving it for when you pass away i.e children. if your husband loved you he would respect your wishes. MIL should be happy DIL even has a house for yall to live in together, houses are expensive in this day and age, and shes not the one who paid for it, it was gifted. also who thinks 40k is even enough for a house in this day and age, cuz its not, especially the type of house it is, the area it is, and the land its on, that doesnt even include how many bedrooms and bathrooms there are either. youd be lucky to get a place for 40k, especially one thats nice and dont have to be fixed up, cuz thats honestly what a 40k house would need, a good fixing up. looking online where i live i found a house for 90k and its pretty much a blank house for you to fix up and do as you like to it, most of the other houses were almost 200k and higher. MIL def dont know how much houses are these days and it shows unless this aint in america and idk how much houses cost outside of the US
The real thing is he would profit and she would lose thousands if they married and split up. Saying no to him is the right thing.
.
NTA, your home.
The house is her inheritance...why does his name need to be on the house he didn't put a penny in?. It's not his house or his mother's.. she had that house way before even meeting him, why would she put his name on it?. Darrens mom wasn't the entire problem.. darren was.. he doesn't seem to have a mind of his own and will listen/follow whatever nonsense his mom tells him... his mom wanted his name on the house so she can come and go into her house as she pleased without having to ask DIL.. she probably planned on moving in..
This is a major red flag. Him and his mom are up to something and it's not good. I'm definitely on Julie's side
Kinda figured out that Darren is a momma's boy. Hope they enjoy their lives together.
Well mommy has a problem with greedy
@catsncrows true and he's just so wishy-washy
Red flags abound! Dump this baggage and move on OP not a match! He can go back to his mother! Your dad brought you the house! Don’t take her money! Don’t put his name on the deed to your house! If his mommy wants to give 40 thousand to put his name on your house! Tell her to buy him a house! Don’t marry Darren! His mom will be a problem for the rest of your life! Maybe Darren should have shut his mom down instead of going along with his mom so as not to cause trouble! Dump Darren today!
Pamela is a royal mess! Julie is the real MVP in this one.,
Delete and block him
Let's say mom owns her own home, is Darrens name on it? If so, then Darren should put Julies name on it too, so when mom dies it will be both of theirs.
Me: As soon as you come up with 50% of the value of the house, I'll think about it. (Not really)
if he wants on the house, put him on the house BUT make him sign another contract stating if yall divorce he cant fight for the house as well as he cant sell it without your say, he only is owner by name, and has no real rights to the house, if he doesnt sign the contract then he wont get his name on the house as he more then likely had bad intentions with the house, i.e selling it or trying to fight you in court for it, ive heard too many stories of people selling properties since their names were on the deed too without the actual owners permission (the one who actually bought it) and of course cant really do anything legally about it since theyre legally on the deed, the contract is there to protect you, they sell it then they will get in trouble as theyre signing away their rights to the house even tho their name is legally on the deed its only there to be there to look pretty and nothing else
Trying to make this DIL dependent on her husband for sure and if he wants to kick her out, she's lost everything. No way MIL. Take a hike and kick the boyfriend to the curb if he agrees with his mother. If the MIL has that much money, then why doesn't she buy a house for her son and put it in his name? This way, no woman can take it in a marital division of assets. A prenup would be the answer for sure, even for a new boyfriend.
Greediness / MIL trying to pull a “ fast one “ to get hold of the house ,regarding the present property VALUE !!!
I would not even marry him or put hs name on the deeds
She dodged a bullet
Darren thinks he's slick. He really comes across as stupid.😂
Coo - wish I had a Dad who could have afforded to buy me a house. Ya feel me?
Mother in law try robbing her blind right from gate. Prenup definetly
Dont share anymoney with them ever
Seperet finances for life is way to go
Share love and heart not wallet
9:54 That Mil 🤬🤬, even thinking her son deserves to be put on the deed to a house he didn’t even pay for all to satisfy her, absoulty no way the entitlement coming from Pamela & Darren is just ridiculous, he is such a mommas boy going along with his mothers ridiculous reasons and gaslighting her into what they want nah fk off and buy your own house if it’s that important to you then your name will be on your own deed what a pair of filthy gold diggers the both of them
No loss.
If I brought a house before I meet and marry I wouldn't put his name on my deed too unless we both brought the house together
I would marrying I wouldn't even get calls to him again
OMG, talk about major sucking up to the bf's mum, "how beautiful you are" no one talks like that on meeting parents for the first time.
Girl can't learn from her own mistakes. She was with Darren longer than rebound guy, and she didn't really know him until after and before marrying him since when she met mil, she said they were married already. Then after all that, she was with new guy and planning marriage I under 6 months. She really wants to marry every guy she goes on a date with.
Im confused what is he missing out on. No mortgage payments. No rent payments. And he is the one who offered to pay for renovations.
I moved to the Netherlands to live with my girlfriend in the house she owns not once did I think of it being in both our names. That was 14 years ago. Last year after her mum died she put my name on the house because she was worried if something happened to her her family woud cause problems. But not once did a think it.
19:21 ok and the control starts 24:25 and now the stalking
If she wanted it to be 50/50 she would have to give her half the amount of the house song of 4000 house you'd have to give her $200,000 not a measly $40,000 I mean 40,000 that's a car
Wow so julie splits with the mama boy then meets some one else then has a baby. And she did that after splitting up in six months .your pregnant for ten months not six. Yes some babies come early but her's dident.
Sad to say, but even if his name isn't on the house, if they divorce he has what is called A Matrimonial Right to the house according to divorce law.
Depends on where you live.
@@annicetucker9563 exactly. My grandmother married a man who tried to claim “rights” to her house in the divorce. Judge laughed him out of the courtroom and made him pay all the expenses.
Anything brought into the marriage is not classed as an asset for divorce purposes, including property. So he would not have any claim to it at all. (my cousin kept her house after her divorce, bc it was hers before she got married and she paid the mortgage. Her ah of an ex did nothing at all, unless you count the fraud of taking multiple loans out in her name and then f*cking off, which she's still having to pay off almost 15 years later. 🤷)
Depends on what state you live in. Also depends on the country you live in.