Topics we discuss in this video: Why your past is influencing you way more than you think. [1:54] Why you struggle to change bad habits, and what is holding you back from change. [2:17] Why your brain wants you to stay the way you´re today. [4:40] The real reason why it´s hard to break patterns. [5:29] The most effective practice to break your bad habits. [6:11] Why most of us are staying in the past or worrying about our future and what to do instead. [7:06] How to practice staying in the moment. [8:17] The two ways on how to practice being present, even if meditation overwhelms you. [9:02] The reason why sitting in silence makes you uncomfortable. [10:00] How meditation, when you feel unsafe, can lead to another trauma. [12:21] How Nicole discovered the real reason why her brain felt foggy. [14:38] The easiest method everyone can use everywhere to start to heal from childhood trauma. [17:40] How to start learning to breathe to beat anxiety in your day-to-day life. [18:50] How you can change your life with little promises to yourself. [20:23] How to use feeling uncomfortable with a new habit to maintain it forever. [22:28] The importance of reframing to change your behavior. [22:56] Why you don´t have to give up your anger and how to make space for new feelings. [25:10] How to decide if a feeling or habit is valuable. [26:24] How to get radically honest with yourself. [27:50] The makers Nicole watches out for in her nervous system to know if she´s safe or not. [31:29] How you repeat your childhood patterns in your current relationships. [33:06] Why your genes and personality are not your destiny and how to create your future self. [35:40] How to use “future self journaling” to counter your subconscious autopilot and create change. [37:30] Why you can use “future self journaling” for changing every aspect of your life. [40:57] The fundamental reason why most people can´t access creativity, joy, or love. [42:39] Why, without sleep, diet, and exercise, mental strategies only go so far. [45:00] How to deal with your shortcomings and when life is unfair. [49:25] How repetition shaped your limiting beliefs and how to create new empowering beliefs. [52:17] How to rebuild your self-worth when you didn´t keep your promises in the past. [55:30] How to use your “re-parenting” to heal your inner child. [58:00] Nicole shares how to connect with her. [1:01:33]
QUOTES: “Feelings that you feel become easier to feel.” [4:56] “The way out first and foremost: We want to become conscious. We want to see those patterns.” [6:11] “Thoughts thought long enough lead to a feeling.” [10:13] “What I learned is each time I do one of those things: Either breathe very shallowly, or I am holding my breath, I am contributing to my anxiety, keeping my nervous system locked in that fight or flight mode. So I had to find a new way to breathe.” [18:12] “I urge everyone out there to create change for themselves and you do it, by practicing a new thought, by overtime allowing in a little more confirming evidence of that new thought, and before you know it you do start to see more and more evidence and now you lived the experience of changing a belief.” [55:12]
5 weeks ago i started a 5 am morning routine that has improved my life dramatically. 1. Meditation 2. Mindfulness 3. Breathing exercises 4. Workout 5. Check work emails 6. Work on building a fitness business By 7:30 my day has been completed so bring on the non sense because my mind is ready for it. I take control of my day before it takes control of me👍👍
If anyone reading this has experienced trauma in their life then Dr Nicola’s book, “How to do the work” is truly transformational. Painful too, but worth every tear. Thank you, Tom for always showing up.
I love the way she says « a lot of us » when describing a behaviour instead of « a lot of people ». We can definitely tell that she is a compassionate person.
I agree and teach others that 95% of our day we are operating from our subconscious, habitual mind. Once we understand our past conditioning, and that our emotions are always guiding us; we can begin to incorporate more self love into our lives, and this can be heaven on earth. Our past does not define us, but we can embrace it, and focus upon the desires created as a result of any contrast we experienced.
Nicole is a precise match to everything I went through, except it took me decades of ignorance, clawing my way out, of trying and trying to figure myself out. I got deep into the what is what and at one point I almost gave up thinking this is the way it ends for me, but I didn't give up. I understand everything she's talking about, except, I only have a high school education. Not only was I suffering from depression, ADHD and anxiety, and low self esteen all at once, I also lacked in education because of those conditions. I learned these ideas in darkness and suffering of being me, crawling a few inches every other 3 days and finally after more than 25 years of slow progress I eventually gained momentum. Nicole is the first person to clearly explain everything that I have concluded about being present and the power of self-awareness. I've developed an actual reality model that I prescribed for myself in order to remain oriented. I have a rule about thinking or deep thinking to remain in flow in the moment, don't go too far in and don't go too far out of both your inner and outer realities. There's so much more I discovered about consciousness and I would have never figured it out without John Huberman's work and his generosity sharing his depth of understanding of our nervous systems.
I used to think of my dad passing from alcoholism as a negative. Took 20 years to reframe it and see it as a positive. My dad passing from alcohol abuse was a gift because it made me aware of my own problems with alcohol. Will be 2 years sober in March!
The issues she speaks about - the forgetting, the brain fog, etc., sound an awful lot like my own experience. I came from a violent, abusive background as well. My response was to check out - leave my body. That's why I don't have very many childhood memories - I disassociated instead of dealing with overwhelming pain. She also talks about how some of us can retraumatize ourselves by Rambo-diving into conscious awareness practice too quickly, driving us into overwhelm. This serves to reinforce our existing shame and self-loathing. I really love what this woman is saying. To those here who compare her with this doctor or that philosopher, or say that she's just parroting someone else's work: I would ask that you give those opinions more thought. We need more voices like her. She is espousing information that we all need to hear. She's using her voice, her words, and her background to communicate this information. In this way she is unique, and it's unfair to take that away from her. There are many who may not have heard of these other doctors, or relate to the way these other people present these ideas. Let her be. She's doing wonderful and badly needed work, and I applaud her. for those looking for more information about this, another astounding mind in this field is Gabor Mate. He's put out many videos on the impact of childhood trauma, and how important it is to process that trauma in order to heal.
Can relate. Heavy brain fog, forgetfulness, overwhelm, ADD, etc. I can't remember most of my childhood or even junior high. Nobody in my family will tell me anything. It's so frustrating. People like Nicole and Gabor Mate, Jordan Peterson, etc. are incredibly helpful for accepting & dealing with stuff like this. Cheers and good luck with your journey.
A key way of altering the subconscious is through strong emotions. Every morning I get up and listen to a song that brings tears to my eyes. I jump, pump, and engage my tears asking and feeling as if my requests are already here. I’ve been witnessing how my specific requests are coming to fruition. The other way is forced repetition. Asking myself great questions and thinking hard, imagining, dreaming had helped me as well.
Absolutely THRILLED to see this powerhouse of a woman on more platforms!!! Dr. Nicole’s work is life-changing - she is truly a pioneer in the field of re-parenting and trauma. This is pre-watching the segment too, can’t wait to see it now. Thank you for helping spread such immensely important information about mental health.
I think you should stop puting women down. I'm not a feminist, but I support equality between men and women. What you do is implicit explaining that it's very rear that women are really powerhouses. There are just as many women as men who are powerhouses. I don't expect that most people have the cognitive abilities to really think, but this is just bad.. I
@@Lesbisk1000 I, for one, didnt see it like that. Maybe she just wanted to praise her, as a role model for both women and men. She is a powerhouse and there are lots of women who arent. Same with men. I'd refer to Tom as a powerhouse, yet, I couldnt call myself the same, at least for the time being. And I'm ok witht that, because I get the chance to learn a dreat deal from people like them. In order for someone to reach a pro level, there have to be more averages, otherwise, you wouldnt be able to tell each other apart.
Nicole LePera teaches from a place of authenticity, as she lives what she teaches. Her awareness and inclusion of the whole person, mind, body and the deep self, practical, logical and spiritual, and so much more.
"It begins in small daily things. Many of us are confirming a narrative of unworthiness because we're not showing up for ourselves in the smallest of ways". - Dr. Nicole LePera So powerful and true.
Nicole is the real deal. I have followed her for a long time on IG, and now YT. I am one who has had lots of trauma as a child and overcoming that, took changing my mind. I was quite disconnected for a long time and she helped me recognize all the patterns I had that I was unaware of. The unsafe feelings that were actually holding me back. I'm very grateful for her and for Tom for having her on.
This is awesome. She speaks my language. It took me a lifetime of healing to discover so many of these things and now I teach it to kids. I am getting her book today. I wish I had a therapist like her 20 years ago. ❤️🙏
Life is a practice. We become what we consistently do. Journaling, talking things out with others, asking self good questions can help get to the underlying issues under the surface thoughts. Insightful talk, she is aware and wise.
Your emotions send the signals to the brain that programs the body and fuels the chemical mix that creates the state of being you are operating from. That state of being is your personality or in other words: your unconscious reactions, attitudes, actions, behaviour which represents 95% of who you are. Emotions are a result of past events and feelings that arouse in those events. Do a meditation, lower your brainwaves and you gain access to the subconscious programming or these past events that might be holding you back. Now you can resolve them and change the emotion that is fueling your behaviour and actions. For example if you have an addiction to an external substance such as alcohol, (could be anything, food, tv, etc) Solving the internal emotion that is fueling that behaviour could lead you to completely stop drinking alcohol instead of constantly self sabotaging your attempts because you think alcohol is the problem when in reality, it's jsut a reflection of your inner world. Ok this is getting long, hope it helps!
@OFN-1989 You're right. 😄 As I said emotions comes from past events that arouse feelings within you. But if you look closer; emotion is the result of interpreting or perceiving those 2 elements of event and feeling in a way (belief) that created the emotion.
This is such a powerful episode. After my mom passed away from cancer back in 2013, I began to develop high anxiety and stress about my future. I began diving into holistic practices like journaling, meditation, exercising, subconscious reprogramming, etc. and its absolutely changed my life! I share my tips on my blog and social media if you are interested! Please make the decision to heal, it’ll be the best decision of your life! 🙏💙
I teach meditation and stress reduction methods for wellness and what she mentions at 11:42 is really common, some folks are too agitated to sit to meditate. They need to work up to it, and can start with just paying attention to say washing dishes or some other daily activity to ground them.
We have to acknowledge and parent our inner child! We all have one. You wouldn't leave a child unsupervised and unguided in life normally, so don't do it with your inner child.
Nicole is awesome! I gasped when I saw this was posted! Just can’t get enough of her videos because they have helped me so much. 🙏🏾Thanks Tom and Nicole!!
Hearing that two inspiring people have struggled with crippling anxiety gives me more hope than you can possibly imagine. Thank you both for being so open about your stories and best practices
Basically put, NEVER make giving up an option NEVER! For EVERY problem, there IS ALWAYS a solution! We live in a universe of unlimited possibilities! The vastness of space alone proves that! Don’t settle on the possibility that you don’t want! Ever!
“Tuning in to a conscience moment.” That’s a brilliant way of putting it. This video is timely for me. I had such a rough morning but this has uplifted my spirit oh so much! 🙏🏾 Thank you!
I honor her personal struggles, admire her ability to use them in a positive way that has transformed her into a wiser, happier and productive human and appreciate her work in sharing her experience for the betterment of others. If all used stressful and seemingly unfortunate situations as tools to learn and evolve (instead of feel like a victim and blame others), Earth would be heaven.
Thank you very much for this information. I remember Journaling various experiences and attempting to heal from childhood trauma. I would attend church and read the Bible yet the real change came in my life once I began meditation and healing my subconscious.
At 23:00 the reframing is spot on. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety because of some "light" childhood trauma and I'm trying to come to terms with it since it's affecting my job.
24:00 -- Talking about "caregivers". My mother and father divorced when I was about 5. My mother remarried the man who she would stay with for the next 40 years when I was about 7. Things were great with him until I hit puberty. He became (or maybe was always) very petulant and any sort of pushback from me was met with irrational pouting and anger. Once I turned 17, I joined the Marines and left home. They wouldn't even come to my Bootcamp graduation, a once-in-a-lifetime event. It took me 20 years to deal with that, what I can only describe as betrayal. What I realized, in my late 30s was that he did the best he could do. He was self-centered, self-serving, and petulant, yes, but it wasn't his fault that he was incapable of change. I had to recognize that and make the decision of whether I was willing to let the past go and embrace my family or hold onto that anger and frustration that had NO constructive value in my life. So, I moved back up to Oregon and buried the hatchet. A few years later, he divorced my mother after having an affair. Something that, as much as I didn't really like the little man, never thought in a million years he'd do. He was very old-school, refusing to let my mother work for the entire time they were married. They married in 1968, so that was pretty common back then. It was before Reagan destroyed our economy and forced women to join the workforce just to maintain a decent standard of living. But I digress. (That's one point of anger that I will probably never get over.) Anyway, he refused to provide any alimony or support for my mother in any way. Ultimately, the courts ended up giving my mother more than she would have settled for without going to court. Did I mention he wasn't very bright? I never spoke to him after that. Not because I was angry with him, but because I literally had no room for him in my life. What little respect I retained for him had been wiped out and I saw no reason to continue to bother to try to hold onto a relationship with this person who I never really accepted as my father. He was just "the guy in charge" while I was growing up. He died probably 10 years ago now and I still don't regret not having worked to retain a relationship with him. Hell, I hadn't even thought about him in at least 5 years, until this sparked that memory. My REAL father, now that's another story, but suffice it to say that I DID bury the hatchet with him and was part of his life for the last couple of years. And I believe I _would_ have regretted not letting go of the betrayal that his wife had thrown my way. But that is another story...
Many people have commented on her teachings matching Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton, etc. This can sound like a dig but, it shows how many of us can share such brilliant information and use it. She can share how the work she did on herself got her to where she is now. She adds her own spin. I think it’s GREAT! We can applaud her voice, helping her audience that hear and see her. We can all connect the dots. We can all continue to connect the dots and change the world for the better. I truly appreciate hearing more from more citizens of the world who use these amazing practices. I am creating a future for Peace on Earth Good Will towards All Living Creatures. I am working on being a contributor to the best the world can be. I appreciate the help these speakers can offer me to be my best me.
Jottings: - Theme: heal from past, for future - 90% of time, we are on Auto-Pilot (set patterns in subconscious mind) - Feelings are generated optimizing calorific spend, from preset patterns - Be conscious/observer/attentive of habits/patterns (mindfulness) - Continuous practice of meditation, consciously present in time - Being in present can feel unsafe, so go slow. - Belly/Diaphragmatic breathing helps - Keep space between stimulus and response - Create a new Self, against genetic determinism - Future self journaling - Doing one new thing differently - Visualize things have already happened. - Nutrition and Sleep, game changer for dis-regulated bodies - Recognize that life can be unfair, but resolve to change. - Self aware: keep small promises, self-care body
Wow Tom you are way more expressive, animated, excited and happier? Looking in this video versus the more current ones. It’s like you’re a different person. Now you seem way more reserved, almost a flat affect, more Vulcan-like., rarely smiling. In any event, I love your channel, and there have been many good interviews, and I appreciate your efforts to learn and grow yourself and others
Aahhh!! I seriously connected with this information! I have been aware that, becoming aware, is where recognition of myself begins. That becoming aware of how I deal with feelings and thoughts is how I needed to begin, to change my behaviors. But I could never get past that point. I couldn't figure out what to do with my realizations. How to work on them. Perfect directions! I'm getting the book!
All the info is out there - we can all tap into knowledge of the Universe and/or study from others - it’s about what you have gone through, how you understand it, and how you use these principles and share them. If one can help others ( and want to) you should share your message, with your voice and in your way. People resonate with different people and need to hear the same thing many times from different perspectives to finally get it! (She’s doing her journey - and quite well I might add - she’s not ripping anyone off.) Thanks for having the courage to share Nicole.
"Instruction manuals should be written by people who struggled to build the item" reminds of Jung saying "The Doctor is effective only when he himself is affected". Thanks for sharing wisdom dear Tom and Nicole! :)
This video made me reflect so much, it was truly helpful. I feel empowered to develop my conscious mind; to turn it into the wise parent that my inner child needs to transform into a spring of positive emotions and maturity. Thank you Tom for providing content that helps us become the best version of ourselves. Much love from Mexico
Great talk! When you go to therapy you address all of these issues AND see changes that are long lasting. It’s important to find someone who is holistic but most of these concepts are the underpinnings of psychodynamic psychotherapy like resistance, re-parenting, reframing etc.
You both are amazing🙌 Im Thankful to have come across this I have been self learned all my life stop going school in the 6th grade. Got pregnant at 13 and everything you have said I been doing the work and still healing. I have named my conscious/subconscious make easier to talk about them😉 Walking in my purpose #2023 🙌🙌🙌
I know this is not relevant to the video, but I really enjoyed your interview with the Arthur Dave talking about fasting your questions were perfect! It actually answered a lot of questions that are not really addressed by other people in terms of the topic fasting. It's important to me because I started fasting 4 months ago so far lost 20 lb it's crazy that I'm almost the same weight that I was in high school.
I have been watching your wife's podcast And have recently run across yours. It's so funny to have been drawn to the both of you and how different you are in personality to be so happily married. Good for you both
This show has been paramount to my healing! I love the way your mind works - thank you for introducing so many great sources of knowledge into my life!
I'm hooked. lol. Not even half way through this interview and I've already searched and subscribed to her channel! Can't wait to head over to your wife's channel and watch those interviews with Nicole Lepara as well. Great interview! You always rock Tom Bilyeu!
I love love love this interview ❤ I also think it's great that Nicole is able to explain a little bit about the fact that people can create themselves. This is a GREAT start!!
I am not under the assumption, this is something I have learnt through experience and observation of myself and others... The word "change" is usually defined in most people's minds as "control". Which further translates to something bad. Many people acquire this belief that they would be controlled if they are "changed" into what others want or need them to be. A fear of moving from their comfort of how they live, how they survive. I believe that a better word to use is adapt. To me, it oozes a more positive form of just saying "change". It pushes you to become what is more of the norm to be successful and live a happy lifestyle. Try saying adapt yourself to this rather than change yourself to this.
No, you have to be willing to see things that are impossible and CONQUER anyway!!! Try is a weak word. Conquer! Not trying to insult in any way but just saying that it’s much better to shoot for the highest word. Never settle!
This is such awesome information. It reinforces a lot of the things I've heard and I'm so happy to be on the right track to changing my life and becoming the best version of myself that I'm meant to be. I am super anxious to pay it forward
Or maybe there is a shortcut but we haven’t found it yet! Be careful of the conclusions you make or your mind will block a path where an easier path could’ve been made!
This interview reminds me of simger 'Jewel'. She was the first person I heard telling how to make anxiety your friend, how to use the physical and mental cues to resolve issues.
This guy literally asks the best questions. In most videos We get alot of surface info on topics of interest. He asks the questions that make them go deeper and give us the viewers an opportunity to provide application to the insight give. Love this guy 💯
This woman is legendary and tom doing this show and asking these questions and putting time and effort on this is makes you more legendary, life changing show, life changing man you are❤️
19:20 In the "Rolfing" method, they do have you lie on your back and teach you how to expand your chest when you breathe. It's interesting and you wouldn't think of it but how we breathe is connected to different systems in our body, including our back and posture.
Wow! I love this. I have been followibg Nicole for a while, going to buy her book. I was just randomly looking for an interview with her. I must say, I am so impressed. Bravo on all the great questions!!! I learned so much
All of this happened to me. I started seizing and blacking out and followed the same trail. Back in school for psychology. Will be buying the book!! Thank you!
This sounds like Dr Joe Dispenza repackaged, especially from his book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”. At the end of the day, truths are universal, and I’m just glad there are many people propagating the message.
I like listening to a woman more than listening to a guy. I am serious. I am a guy (married most of my life) and I love women delivery content like this.
Also the same as teachings from buddhist masters and so much the same as Pema Chodron's "Taking the Leap (and freeing ourselves from old habits and fears)
Dysregulation.... much needed awareness. Such an Aha! Learning about it... it succinctly identified my top priority, most emotionally painful symptom diagnosis I can address once I heard about it... It gave me instantaneous ideas to help myself rather than my environment which is a pretty poor way to deal... it causes retraction from society and ambitions. RSD (rejection sensitivity) triggers dysregulation. It's a HUGE issue for many of us with ADHD.
Topics we discuss in this video:
Why your past is influencing you way more than you think. [1:54]
Why you struggle to change bad habits, and what is holding you back from change. [2:17]
Why your brain wants you to stay the way you´re today. [4:40]
The real reason why it´s hard to break patterns. [5:29]
The most effective practice to break your bad habits. [6:11]
Why most of us are staying in the past or worrying about our future and what to do instead. [7:06]
How to practice staying in the moment. [8:17]
The two ways on how to practice being present, even if meditation overwhelms you. [9:02]
The reason why sitting in silence makes you uncomfortable. [10:00]
How meditation, when you feel unsafe, can lead to another trauma. [12:21]
How Nicole discovered the real reason why her brain felt foggy. [14:38]
The easiest method everyone can use everywhere to start to heal from childhood trauma. [17:40]
How to start learning to breathe to beat anxiety in your day-to-day life. [18:50]
How you can change your life with little promises to yourself. [20:23]
How to use feeling uncomfortable with a new habit to maintain it forever. [22:28]
The importance of reframing to change your behavior. [22:56]
Why you don´t have to give up your anger and how to make space for new feelings. [25:10]
How to decide if a feeling or habit is valuable. [26:24]
How to get radically honest with yourself. [27:50]
The makers Nicole watches out for in her nervous system to know if she´s safe or not. [31:29]
How you repeat your childhood patterns in your current relationships. [33:06]
Why your genes and personality are not your destiny and how to create your future self. [35:40]
How to use “future self journaling” to counter your subconscious autopilot and create change. [37:30]
Why you can use “future self journaling” for changing every aspect of your life. [40:57]
The fundamental reason why most people can´t access creativity, joy, or love. [42:39]
Why, without sleep, diet, and exercise, mental strategies only go so far. [45:00]
How to deal with your shortcomings and when life is unfair. [49:25]
How repetition shaped your limiting beliefs and how to create new empowering beliefs. [52:17]
How to rebuild your self-worth when you didn´t keep your promises in the past. [55:30]
How to use your “re-parenting” to heal your inner child. [58:00]
Nicole shares how to connect with her. [1:01:33]
QUOTES:
“Feelings that you feel become easier to feel.” [4:56]
“The way out first and foremost: We want to become conscious. We want to see those patterns.” [6:11]
“Thoughts thought long enough lead to a feeling.” [10:13]
“What I learned is each time I do one of those things: Either breathe very shallowly, or I am holding my breath, I am contributing to my anxiety, keeping my nervous system locked in that fight or flight mode. So I had to find a new way to breathe.” [18:12]
“I urge everyone out there to create change for themselves and you do it, by practicing a new thought, by overtime allowing in a little more confirming evidence of that new thought, and before you know it you do start to see more and more evidence and now you lived the experience of changing a belief.” [55:12]
Your channel deserves 50million subscribers atleast... Tom u are a blessing in my lie God bless u man Love u❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Now I forgive u of turning into ad machine like that soul selling Jay ! Thank u
@@dao_de_davo what do you mean?
You are doing amazing work
This is great 👍
5 weeks ago i started a 5 am morning routine that has improved my life dramatically.
1. Meditation
2. Mindfulness
3. Breathing exercises
4. Workout
5. Check work emails
6. Work on building a fitness business
By 7:30 my day has been completed so bring on the non sense because my mind is ready for it.
I take control of my day before it takes control of me👍👍
Excellent! Quiet morning hours are the best.
This is so close to my personal routine
Same, except 4 is my 1 👍
@@antoniorea2963 I feel so relaxed after meditating first but I'm not opposed to switching things up 👍
What exactly do you mean by mindfulness?
If anyone reading this has experienced trauma in their life then Dr Nicola’s book, “How to do the work” is truly transformational. Painful too, but worth every tear. Thank you, Tom for always showing up.
Yeah George
Indeed. I attribute my healing in large part to the book🪷
I love the way she says « a lot of us » when describing a behaviour instead of « a lot of people ». We can definitely tell that she is a compassionate person.
Yes, and she speaks from experience 👍
I agree and teach others that 95% of our day we are operating from our subconscious, habitual mind. Once we understand our past conditioning, and that our emotions are always guiding us; we can begin to incorporate more self love into our lives, and this can be heaven on earth. Our past does not define us, but we can embrace it, and focus upon the desires created as a result of any contrast we experienced.
Wonder comment, so true…thank you
Dude we can't tell how much we are learning by your podcast I respect from the core and bottom of my heart please keep the good work ahead
Yes I second this!
Agree
thank you i will do my best
O
Yeah, Dude.😊😊😊😊
Nicole is a precise match to everything I went through, except it took me decades of ignorance, clawing my way out, of trying and trying to figure myself out. I got deep into the what is what and at one point I almost gave up thinking this is the way it ends for me, but I didn't give up. I understand everything she's talking about, except, I only have a high school education. Not only was I suffering from depression, ADHD and anxiety, and low self esteen all at once, I also lacked in education because of those conditions. I learned these ideas in darkness and suffering of being me, crawling a few inches every other 3 days and finally after more than 25 years of slow progress I eventually gained momentum. Nicole is the first person to clearly explain everything that I have concluded about being present and the power of self-awareness. I've developed an actual reality model that I prescribed for myself in order to remain oriented. I have a rule about thinking or deep thinking to remain in flow in the moment, don't go too far in and don't go too far out of both your inner and outer realities. There's so much more I discovered about consciousness and I would have never figured it out without John Huberman's work and his generosity sharing his depth of understanding of our nervous systems.
I used to think of my dad passing from alcoholism as a negative. Took 20 years to reframe it and see it as a positive. My dad passing from alcohol abuse was a gift because it made me aware of my own problems with alcohol. Will be 2 years sober in March!
The issues she speaks about - the forgetting, the brain fog, etc., sound an awful lot like my own experience. I came from a violent, abusive background as well. My response was to check out - leave my body. That's why I don't have very many childhood memories - I disassociated instead of dealing with overwhelming pain.
She also talks about how some of us can retraumatize ourselves by Rambo-diving into conscious awareness practice too quickly, driving us into overwhelm. This serves to reinforce our existing shame and self-loathing.
I really love what this woman is saying. To those here who compare her with this doctor or that philosopher, or say that she's just parroting someone else's work: I would ask that you give those opinions more thought. We need more voices like her. She is espousing information that we all need to hear. She's using her voice, her words, and her background to communicate this information. In this way she is unique, and it's unfair to take that away from her. There are many who may not have heard of these other doctors, or relate to the way these other people present these ideas. Let her be. She's doing wonderful and badly needed work, and I applaud her.
for those looking for more information about this, another astounding mind in this field is Gabor Mate. He's put out many videos on the impact of childhood trauma, and how important it is to process that trauma in order to heal.
Can relate. Heavy brain fog, forgetfulness, overwhelm, ADD, etc. I can't remember most of my childhood or even junior high. Nobody in my family will tell me anything. It's so frustrating. People like Nicole and Gabor Mate, Jordan Peterson, etc. are incredibly helpful for accepting & dealing with stuff like this.
Cheers and good luck with your journey.
!ua-cam.com/video/q8abStJTS6M/v-deo.html
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Rambo- diving. Gold.! Insights, thank you!!
A key way of altering the subconscious is through strong emotions. Every morning I get up and listen to a song that brings tears to my eyes. I jump, pump, and engage my tears asking and feeling as if my requests are already here. I’ve been witnessing how my specific requests are coming to fruition. The other way is forced repetition. Asking myself great questions and thinking hard, imagining, dreaming had helped me as well.
Absolutely THRILLED to see this powerhouse of a woman on more platforms!!! Dr. Nicole’s work is life-changing - she is truly a pioneer in the field of re-parenting and trauma. This is pre-watching the segment too, can’t wait to see it now. Thank you for helping spread such immensely important information about mental health.
I think you should stop puting women down. I'm not a feminist, but I support equality between men and women. What you do is implicit explaining that it's very rear that women are really powerhouses. There are just as many women as men who are powerhouses. I don't expect that most people have the cognitive abilities to really think, but this is just bad.. I
@@Lesbisk1000 I, for one, didnt see it like that. Maybe she just wanted to praise her, as a role model for both women and men. She is a powerhouse and there are lots of women who arent. Same with men. I'd refer to Tom as a powerhouse, yet, I couldnt call myself the same, at least for the time being. And I'm ok witht that, because I get the chance to learn a dreat deal from people like them. In order for someone to reach a pro level, there have to be more averages, otherwise, you wouldnt be able to tell each other apart.
@@Lesbisk1000 That's a rather negative and convoluted interpretation of a simple happy comment.
@@alinmanu3599 ⁰9
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Nicole LePera teaches from a place of authenticity, as she lives what she teaches. Her awareness and inclusion of the whole person, mind, body and the deep self, practical, logical and spiritual, and so much more.
”Boundaries are a form of self-empowerment.” That’s huge! Thank you!!! 🙏🏾💗🌸
Boundaries are a form of self-entrapment
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Such a motivating insightful perspective
"It begins in small daily things. Many of us are confirming a narrative of unworthiness because we're not showing up for ourselves in the smallest of ways". - Dr. Nicole LePera
So powerful and true.
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Nicole is the real deal. I have followed her for a long time on IG, and now YT. I am one who has had lots of trauma as a child and overcoming that, took changing my mind. I was quite disconnected for a long time and she helped me recognize all the patterns I had that I was unaware of. The unsafe feelings that were actually holding me back. I'm very grateful for her and for Tom for having her on.
I am not where I want to be , but I am proud I am not where I used to be ..
This is awesome. She speaks my language. It took me a lifetime of healing to discover so many of these things and now I teach it to kids. I am getting her book today. I wish I had a therapist like her 20 years ago. ❤️🙏
Life is a practice. We become what we consistently do. Journaling, talking things out with others, asking self good questions can help get to the underlying issues under the surface thoughts. Insightful talk, she is aware and wise.
Love the way Nicole speaks. So clear. Every word is uttered so clearly. Great !
yea. not even a minute into the video and i hit THUMBS UP, KNOWING this is a goodie!!!!!!!!
now, i will actually watch the video!
I’m starting to realize it’s absolutely insane how accessible life changing information is. And just how MUCH of it there is.
World needs genuine people like you guys. Love you both. Thank you.
This is so spot on: become your own healer. Thank you for this interview Tom and Nicole!
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Your emotions send the signals to the brain that programs the body and fuels the chemical mix that creates the state of being you are operating from. That state of being is your personality or in other words: your unconscious reactions, attitudes, actions, behaviour which represents 95% of who you are. Emotions are a result of past events and feelings that arouse in those events. Do a meditation, lower your brainwaves and you gain access to the subconscious programming or these past events that might be holding you back. Now you can resolve them and change the emotion that is fueling your behaviour and actions. For example if you have an addiction to an external substance such as alcohol, (could be anything, food, tv, etc) Solving the internal emotion that is fueling that behaviour could lead you to completely stop drinking alcohol instead of constantly self sabotaging your attempts because you think alcohol is the problem when in reality, it's jsut a reflection of your inner world. Ok this is getting long, hope it helps!
Thank you
thank you for this.
@OFN-1989 You're right. 😄 As I said emotions comes from past events that arouse feelings within you. But if you look closer; emotion is the result of interpreting or perceiving those 2 elements of event and feeling in a way (belief) that created the emotion.
That was perfect
Thanks
This is such a powerful episode. After my mom passed away from cancer back in 2013, I began to develop high anxiety and stress about my future. I began diving into holistic practices like journaling, meditation, exercising, subconscious reprogramming, etc. and its absolutely changed my life! I share my tips on my blog and social media if you are interested! Please make the decision to heal, it’ll be the best decision of your life! 🙏💙
Awww i had tons of rejection from siblings trying to love my patents..they were too accepting to dying. I was not into the pharma stuff.
I teach meditation and stress reduction methods for wellness and what she mentions at 11:42 is really common, some folks are too agitated to sit to meditate. They need to work up to it, and can start with just paying attention to say washing dishes or some other daily activity to ground them.
We have to acknowledge and parent our inner child! We all have one. You wouldn't leave a child unsupervised and unguided in life normally, so don't do it with your inner child.
This is a hell of a quote , I love this !💯💯
@@ballislifemo Such a big game changer!!
But we also can’t let our inner child run the show.
@@kathyannk Agreed, got to find the right balance
Nicole is awesome! I gasped when I saw this was posted! Just can’t get enough of her videos because they have helped me so much. 🙏🏾Thanks Tom and Nicole!!
Hearing that two inspiring people have struggled with crippling anxiety gives me more hope than you can possibly imagine. Thank you both for being so open about your stories and best practices
Basically put, NEVER make giving up an option NEVER! For EVERY problem, there IS ALWAYS a solution! We live in a universe of unlimited possibilities! The vastness of space alone proves that! Don’t settle on the possibility that you don’t want! Ever!
I have spent the entire day watching Nicole Lepera interviews. Thank you, found my twin.
This spoke directly to my heart. I have so many tools. I’ve done so much work on my anxiety. I find her ideas very helping and healing.
ua-cam.com/video/sEhiH1zaKpA/v-deo.html ❤❤❤
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
...
“Tuning in to a conscience moment.” That’s a brilliant way of putting it. This video is timely for me. I had such a rough morning but this has uplifted my spirit oh so much! 🙏🏾 Thank you!
Never give up stay safe and focus positive life goes on.
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Always a fan of reprogramming the subconscious, it literally shapes one's reality.
You explained this really well! 😄
Thanks for your great result about reprograming!
I'll remember this for next time!
Yep, Dr Joe Dispenza says our personal reality (our personality) is a result of our subconscious…and reprogramming is where we shift it!
I really like her energy it’s compassionate and thorough 😍
ua-cam.com/video/sEhiH1zaKpA/v-deo.html ❤❤❤
Mad respect for tom who is asking all the right questions 👏
I honor her personal struggles, admire her ability to use them in a positive way that has transformed her into a wiser, happier and productive human and appreciate her work in sharing her experience for the betterment of others. If all used stressful and seemingly unfortunate situations as tools to learn and evolve (instead of feel like a victim and blame others), Earth would be heaven.
It always interests to listen to Nicole"s Message. Deeply Engaging. Thanks Tom for Presenting the Talk.
Thank you very much for this information. I remember Journaling various experiences and attempting to heal from childhood trauma. I would attend church and read the Bible yet the real change came in my life once I began meditation and healing my subconscious.
I am so grateful for show notes and time stamps. Thank you.
Amazing!. I am reading her book. I have been doing FSJ for three days. I am witnessing improvements in my life. Indeed! the book was an eye-opener
Just want to shout to the world how amazing Tom’s podcasts are! 100% great content every show
At 23:00 the reframing is spot on. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety because of some "light" childhood trauma and I'm trying to come to terms with it since it's affecting my job.
24:00 -- Talking about "caregivers". My mother and father divorced when I was about 5. My mother remarried the man who she would stay with for the next 40 years when I was about 7. Things were great with him until I hit puberty. He became (or maybe was always) very petulant and any sort of pushback from me was met with irrational pouting and anger. Once I turned 17, I joined the Marines and left home. They wouldn't even come to my Bootcamp graduation, a once-in-a-lifetime event. It took me 20 years to deal with that, what I can only describe as betrayal.
What I realized, in my late 30s was that he did the best he could do. He was self-centered, self-serving, and petulant, yes, but it wasn't his fault that he was incapable of change. I had to recognize that and make the decision of whether I was willing to let the past go and embrace my family or hold onto that anger and frustration that had NO constructive value in my life. So, I moved back up to Oregon and buried the hatchet.
A few years later, he divorced my mother after having an affair. Something that, as much as I didn't really like the little man, never thought in a million years he'd do. He was very old-school, refusing to let my mother work for the entire time they were married. They married in 1968, so that was pretty common back then. It was before Reagan destroyed our economy and forced women to join the workforce just to maintain a decent standard of living. But I digress. (That's one point of anger that I will probably never get over.) Anyway, he refused to provide any alimony or support for my mother in any way. Ultimately, the courts ended up giving my mother more than she would have settled for without going to court. Did I mention he wasn't very bright?
I never spoke to him after that. Not because I was angry with him, but because I literally had no room for him in my life. What little respect I retained for him had been wiped out and I saw no reason to continue to bother to try to hold onto a relationship with this person who I never really accepted as my father. He was just "the guy in charge" while I was growing up. He died probably 10 years ago now and I still don't regret not having worked to retain a relationship with him. Hell, I hadn't even thought about him in at least 5 years, until this sparked that memory.
My REAL father, now that's another story, but suffice it to say that I DID bury the hatchet with him and was part of his life for the last couple of years. And I believe I _would_ have regretted not letting go of the betrayal that his wife had thrown my way. But that is another story...
Many people have commented on her teachings matching Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton, etc. This can sound like a dig but, it shows how many of us can share such brilliant information and use it. She can share how the work she did on herself got her to where she is now. She adds her own spin. I think it’s GREAT! We can applaud her voice, helping her audience that hear and see her. We can all connect the dots. We can all continue to connect the dots and change the world for the better. I truly appreciate hearing more from more citizens of the world who use these amazing practices. I am creating a future for Peace on Earth Good Will towards All Living Creatures. I am working on being a contributor to the best the world can be. I appreciate the help these speakers can offer me to be my best me.
Does the "future for Peace on Earth Good Will towards All Living Creatures" you are creating, includes white male humans ? Asking for a friend.
@@jazznroll5 LOL! I consider white male humans to be part of the "All Living Creatures" category.
13 minutes in and think this is one of the best vids you've done Tom. Very info rich. Very clear and concise. Brilliant!
I inevitably cry my way through these conversations with Nicole, and I also emerge renewed. Thank you both. 🙏
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Jottings:
- Theme: heal from past, for future
- 90% of time, we are on Auto-Pilot (set patterns in subconscious mind)
- Feelings are generated optimizing calorific spend, from preset patterns
- Be conscious/observer/attentive of habits/patterns (mindfulness)
- Continuous practice of meditation, consciously present in time
- Being in present can feel unsafe, so go slow.
- Belly/Diaphragmatic breathing helps
- Keep space between stimulus and response
- Create a new Self, against genetic determinism
- Future self journaling
- Doing one new thing differently
- Visualize things have already happened.
- Nutrition and Sleep, game changer for dis-regulated bodies
- Recognize that life can be unfair, but resolve to change.
- Self aware: keep small promises, self-care body
When my mind wanders, i watch your videos. After a dew days of not feeling like myself, theres always a vid that helps me get my mind right once again
Wow Tom you are way more expressive, animated, excited and happier? Looking in this video versus the more current ones. It’s like you’re a different person.
Now you seem way more reserved, almost a flat affect, more Vulcan-like., rarely smiling.
In any event, I love your channel, and there have been many good interviews, and I appreciate your efforts to learn and grow yourself and others
Aahhh!! I seriously connected with this information! I have been aware that, becoming aware, is where recognition of myself begins. That becoming aware of how I deal with feelings and thoughts is how I needed to begin, to change my behaviors. But I could never get past that point. I couldn't figure out what to do with my realizations. How to work on them. Perfect directions! I'm getting the book!
All the info is out there - we can all tap into knowledge of the Universe and/or study from others - it’s about what you have gone through, how you understand it, and how you use these principles and share them.
If one can help others ( and want to) you should share your message, with your voice and in your way. People resonate with different people and need to hear the same thing many times from different perspectives to finally get it!
(She’s doing her journey - and quite well I might add - she’s not ripping anyone off.) Thanks for having the courage to share Nicole.
"Instruction manuals should be written by people who struggled to build the item" reminds of Jung saying "The Doctor is effective only when he himself is affected". Thanks for sharing wisdom dear Tom and Nicole! :)
She is awesome. I have experienced so many things she talks about. I specifically love her perspective on being safe in the body.
This video made me reflect so much, it was truly helpful. I feel empowered to develop my conscious mind; to turn it into the wise parent that my inner child needs to transform into a spring of positive emotions and maturity. Thank you Tom for providing content that helps us become the best version of ourselves. Much love from Mexico
Thank you Tom and Impact Theory for the creating impact on my life. I’m learning every single day and I’m always excited for tomorrow 🙂
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
Thank you so much for all of you!
I have suffering with social anxiety for 23 yeara. but now I'm going to be a smart person!
I love her!! So humble, caring, generous, smart, in other words BADASS...innovative woman!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Great talk! When you go to therapy you address all of these issues AND see changes that are long lasting. It’s important to find someone who is holistic but most of these concepts are the underpinnings of psychodynamic psychotherapy like resistance, re-parenting, reframing etc.
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
You both are amazing🙌 Im Thankful to have come across this I have been self learned all my life stop going school in the 6th grade. Got pregnant at 13 and everything you have said I been doing the work and still healing. I have named my conscious/subconscious make easier to talk about them😉 Walking in my purpose #2023 🙌🙌🙌
I know this is not relevant to the video, but I really enjoyed your interview with the Arthur Dave talking about fasting your questions were perfect! It actually answered a lot of questions that are not really addressed by other people in terms of the topic fasting. It's important to me because I started fasting 4 months ago so far lost 20 lb it's crazy that I'm almost the same weight that I was in high school.
Tom is one of the greatest listeners I have seen
every word Nicole is saying is like so much alike how I been feeling, it felt so good to listen to her and get some answers.thank you Nicole.
I have "Be the Love You Seek" and now I'm getting the new book. Glad to have seen this interview.
I have been watching your wife's podcast And have recently run across yours. It's so funny to have been drawn to the both of you and how different you are in personality to be so happily married. Good for you both
This show has been paramount to my healing! I love the way your mind works - thank you for introducing so many great sources of knowledge into my life!
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
GREAT interview. Loved it all, but the kids convo was fascinating...so so so good.
So much wisdom in this podcast! Thank you so much for making and sharing this.
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
I truly love your videos. I feel like you are an extremely talented interviewer! Thanks for these videos 😄
I'm hooked. lol. Not even half way through this interview and I've already searched and subscribed to her channel! Can't wait to head over to your wife's channel and watch those interviews with Nicole Lepara as well. Great interview! You always rock Tom Bilyeu!
I love love love this interview ❤
I also think it's great that Nicole is able to explain a little bit about the fact that people can create themselves. This is a GREAT start!!
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
I am not under the assumption, this is something I have learnt through experience and observation of myself and others... The word "change" is usually defined in most people's minds as "control". Which further translates to something bad. Many people acquire this belief that they would be controlled if they are "changed" into what others want or need them to be. A fear of moving from their comfort of how they live, how they survive. I believe that a better word to use is adapt. To me, it oozes a more positive form of just saying "change". It pushes you to become what is more of the norm to be successful and live a happy lifestyle. Try saying adapt yourself to this rather than change yourself to this.
Finding this interview a year late but WOW great information and a different perspective on our subconscious and how to reprogram.
So full of practical useable info...another home run tom and team!
!ua-cam.com/video/q8abStJTS6M/v-deo.html
“You have to be willing to see things that are impossible and TRY.”
do not try : ACT !
@@gabardjean-paul3779 True!
No, you have to be willing to see things that are impossible and CONQUER anyway!!!
Try is a weak word. Conquer!
Not trying to insult in any way but just saying that it’s much better to shoot for the highest word. Never settle!
@@Mr.Honest247 Facts, I got this quote from Tom 😂
@@TylerSinden Oh, well in that case Tom needs to also upgrade his vocab despite him already being a success! 😂
“The subconscious is what a man is. The conscious is what a man knows.” ~ Neville Goddard
thats strong my brotha
This is such awesome information. It reinforces a lot of the things I've heard and I'm so happy to be on the right track to changing my life and becoming the best version of myself that I'm meant to be. I am super anxious to pay it forward
Fully agree with her! Stepping out of your comfort zone is the way we grow, there is no shortcut! Thank you for this useful conversation🧡
Or maybe there is a shortcut but we haven’t found it yet! Be careful of the conclusions you make or your mind will block a path where an easier path could’ve been made!
@@Mr.Honest247 Yea, step out of the comfort zone and then jump right into the Panic/Danger Zone
My favorite anchor Tom Bilyeur
"Instruction manual should be written by people who have struggled to achieve it."Tom Bilyeu
why did they struggle to find the instructions ?
This interview reminds me of simger 'Jewel'. She was the first person I heard telling how to make anxiety your friend, how to use the physical and mental cues to resolve issues.
This guy literally asks the best questions. In most videos We get alot of surface info on topics of interest. He asks the questions that make them go deeper and give us the viewers an opportunity to provide application to the insight give. Love this guy 💯
Thank you ! What a gift to share. A wealth of solutions to my squirrel cage mind. Truly grateful!
This woman is legendary and tom doing this show and asking these questions and putting time and effort on this is makes you more legendary, life changing show, life changing man you are❤️
Wow she's right. I breath like that, all shallow when I'm tense and it increases anxiety and reduces overall efficiency. I need to try her strategies.
Look up 4 7 8 breathing , it works . Deep belly breathing
I love this woman! I apreciate it... you set me free. My personal identity is back!Thank you!
powerful. thank you tom, for another amazing episode.
19:20 In the "Rolfing" method, they do have you lie on your back and teach you how to expand your chest when you breathe. It's interesting and you wouldn't think of it but how we breathe is connected to different systems in our body, including our back and posture.
This woman is amazing!!
Thank you for bringing so much light
Wow! I love this. I have been followibg Nicole for a while, going to buy her book. I was just randomly looking for an interview with her. I must say, I am so impressed. Bravo on all the great questions!!! I learned so much
Loved listening to this interview. Thank you for this. 🤗🤗
All of this happened to me. I started seizing and blacking out and followed the same trail. Back in school for psychology. Will be buying the book!! Thank you!
A great watch on, Why you need to self-reflect? Collective Self-Reflection ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html.
This sounds like Dr Joe Dispenza repackaged, especially from his book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”. At the end of the day, truths are universal, and I’m just glad there are many people propagating the message.
Exactly what I was thinking!😉
I like listening to a woman more than listening to a guy. I am serious. I am a guy (married most of my life) and I love women delivery content like this.
@@takingcareofbusiness7477 very valid point! Personal preferences are sacred.
Also the same as teachings from buddhist masters and so much the same as Pema Chodron's "Taking the Leap (and freeing ourselves from old habits and fears)
I love the way she delivers...
I love Joe but he can be so challenging to hear...and difficult to read.... but love him ♥️
Dysregulation.... much needed awareness. Such an Aha! Learning about it... it succinctly identified my top priority, most emotionally painful symptom diagnosis I can address once I heard about it... It gave me instantaneous ideas to help myself rather than my environment which is a pretty poor way to deal... it causes retraction from society and ambitions.
RSD (rejection sensitivity) triggers dysregulation. It's a HUGE issue for many of us with ADHD.
Best vid I've seen in a while by you Tom, great work.
Let’s go!! Tuesday mornings need this boost!
Dude it's within an hour it's going to be Wednesday in India 🤭
@@AbhishekSingh-bt3mi Well clearly he’s not in India!
26:50 That’s a universal truth in codependency recovery! She nails it!
Thank you so much for this video, it is amazingly helpful 🤯🤯
Thank you so much. This is so filled with useful tools, I took a lot of notes. Thanks again. Worth fully watching.
Super basic, super fundamental, so well explained!