Dating while Deaf | Deaf Awareness Month
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
- My original dating video was years ago, and I didn't have much experience to talk about. Now I do, so you get an updated version, sort of?
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what about a deaf person who signed a different sign language - one you know (like Auslan, I think you mentioned) or don't? would you expect someone to learn your sign if you learned theirs? would your answer change depending on the local language?
wb a blind-deaf person that uses PTASL? or even a blind hearing person? or... idk, someone w/out hands?? (what i'm getting at, maybe ignorant to potential adaptations, is people who have an "excuse" not to be able to sign or at least not sign in the same way you would, so it wouldn't be about effort. and/or who would require effort on your part, as a sighted person)
are standards different for relatives, close friends, etc., or when we say "romantic" do we really mean "important relationship", as we often do?
sorry if these are one of those questions you received that are for the other video you mention. and also if they are too personal and also for interrogatin you. great vid
These are all great questions! I would absolutely learn their language, because I would want to be able to chat with their friends/family in their language. Of course, it depends a lot on context. Like if I lived in another country, I would expect myself to learn the local language!
I specialize in DeafBlind interpreting, and I live in Seattle which has one of the largest DeafBlind communities in the US, so I already have a lot of experience interacting with DB people. One of my exes is DeafBlind, and we’re still on good terms. If the person was physically unable to learn sign or use it, that’s an exception. But plenty of physically disabled people can learn sign and modify it to work for their bodies! What I say in the video is very generalized, there will always be exceptions.
I do want people who are close to me to know or learn sign, but there are some who just aren’t able to because they don’t see me often enough to maintain that skill, such as family. My parents are the only ones who sign fluently now. I encourage any non-signer friend to learn, but generally, if someone is close to me, they sign fluently or comfortably.
You’re all good, these were great questions!
My Deaf fiance found me when I (hearing) barely knew my ABCs. Now we are going to Deaf events together and have no problems communicating. He cried the other day and told me how lucky he was that he found someone who was willing to learn. Hearing people, if you are going to date someone, put in the effort. It would be boring AF if you had to write stuff down for you and your partner to communicate.
Man I have the hardest time sometimes. I'm deaf in one ear and severely HOH in the other. Been mainstreamed all my life and deprived of sign since the age of 5. I know some but am FAR from fluent. Have taken classes as an adult but all the peeps in my life are hearing so they don't sign. Some of my peeps have learned a bit (ie. An ex and my current roomie), so we can sign simple messages while at home when my aid is out. Dating feels impossible for me. I'm very able-bodied passing but am very much NOT able-bodied. The reactions I get when I tell people I'm deaf & hoh is wild. Confusion, doubt, suspicion, pity, denial, inspiration, disinterest, extra interest.... I have so many stories man.
Relatable! I don't belong in either world. It's often isolating .
9:12 so real, so real. I'm a hearing, but a Deaf studies major, so I'm around Deaf people/community daily. It is incredible the information flow in Deaf spaces.
One time one of my classmates made some comments complaining about the (deaf)professor when they weren't in the room. Later, I was chatting with the prof at a local Deaf event (the tight knit, small community thing is also so real lol) and she was all like "thanks for telling me about things directly and not just complaining." I was thinking TEA??? how did she know that?? Don't fuck with Deaf people they WILL find out lmao.
But yeah, if someone wants to be close to someone they should learn their language. Learn each others' languages really, but in the context of Deaf ppl in America, most know/use English already, so it's hearing ppl's turn lol.
I've watched other videos about Dating while Deaf, but you brought up some new things. Thanks. Great to see you again!
I’m glad I was able to bring up some new things for you!
I know Phelan and someone pointed me to this video so it was hilarious to see them and see your point about 2 degrees of Deaf separation!
@RoganShannon13 Regarding what you said about the Deaf rumors spreading so fast…maybe you should tell the viewers one example of how fast it spreads, of course depending on what it refers too, that it spreads across the country of the Deaf community within like 1 hour or so. That will tell the hearing people learn on how really very small our Deaf community is and how well the Deafies know one another too well. Or even if that Deaf person doesn’t know the Deaf person the rumor is about, but will know someone that knows that person. Yeah I’m very well aware that you would know that info, but your other viewers may see this and finally realize how fast the rumors spread. Or perhaps, if you haven’t yet in one of your videos, bring that up in one of your future one? BTW I’m loving many of your videos, great job! 👍
I had an experience dating with a hearing guy… no chance between us. I married to a Deaf guy, a good but not perfect marriage for 31 yrs.
Really interesting perspective. Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
That intro was awesome!
thank you for sharing! 😲I have a question that doesnt revolve around dating at all (and I didn't check if you've already talked about it or not, sorry if you already have 🙈I'll look it up I promise!): Did the Internet "change" the deaf community if it did? I'm imagining how, while it has the mega power to connect people... maybe it also created some distances that were not that big before? Sorry if my English is a little messed up: I'm not a native speaker!
PRIDE!! It took me forever to figure out the P. Hahaha. Thanks for sharing.
That works too, but it’s actually a joke about Phelan taking over at the beginning 😄😄
He might be referring to your t-shirt if he was trying to figure out the handshapes? but not sure. @@RoganShannon13
I imagine it would require a LOT of patience and/or trust on the part of a person who needs accommodations, to just trust that if they let someone who's unfamiliar with their needs and preferences, to plan an outing for both of you, to somewhere unfamiliar to you.
Did they know to confirm that the captions really will be played for this screening? That the interpreter hasn't been cancelled? Do they understand your life hacks well enough that they didn't choose something which will impede your ability to use them?
It means so much when people remember to plan ahead for my needs, or give me a heads up. "I checked, there's no live music tonight.", "I sent you the restaurant link so you can decide what you'd like to order in advance". "I'm trying to new hair style. Here's a selfie so you can recognize me when you get there" - I'm partially facial blind.
In the same way you, individually, are willing to have patience while a person learns to communicate in your language, with a fluency comparable to yours, I guess you just kind of roll with it, to a degree, for awhile, if peoples understanding of how to plan an experience which provides you equitable access, isn't quite there yet - as long as it's heading in the right direction and shows continuous improvement?
Sadly, I don´t speak sign language, so I have to use the subtitles. Thankfully there are subtitles. But I promise, I will learn sign language and will be able to understand him without subtitles one day. I really love sign language and think it should be taught in school, because it is really conveniant (not only for communicating with deaf people).
off topic but ur sleeve is clean
What would your thoughts be on dating a deaf-blind or deaf-low vision person? Like the examples you gave in this video- there's a wide variety from non-signers to signers as well as what their vision would be like or type of vision loss for that matter. Curious. I remember in college that many deaf-blind tended to date each other (not always ending well).
I have dated a DeafBlind person before! I know a lot of DB people, since I work as an interpreter that primarily works with that community. Dating a DB person (or deaf) can become a gray area when you’re in a position like mine.
Yes
❤