What’s crazy is that’s all the technology that’s ban been created or has advanced since 1920. And even with all that lots people are still working the same amount of hours as the average worker from 1920 or more (1920 is around the time the 40hr work week began to become more widespread).
No it doesn't. People worked 12+ hours a day in 1900s and had 3 babies in families or even more. Not saying we should work 12 hours, just saying that workhours have nothing to do with desire to have kids
lived in korea for a year and I realized how many problems come from the internal side of Korea. They revolutionized too quickly, they were a 3rd world country up until 1960, many older generations carry outlooks that do not work in today's generation, and sadly the younger generation suffer a lot from it. Families still have the prideful mindset, and being disowned is very common because when things were simplier things they were also easier to achieve, parents expect their kids to achieve the same goals as they did. There is so much pressure on the younger generations that is nearly impossible for them to think about even putting through their next generation into this type of society.
This comment is almost a therapy session for me 🥲 but I agree, the technology, social norms, and wealth can change so rapidly but human mindset seems to have trouble catching up. Im very surprised how critical your points are even though you only lived a year!!
Exactly! Someone born in 1960 is 65 now and were raised by persons born in 1930s. So they still are heavily influenced the old traditions and they pass on these to there children. Those traditions are mostly incompatible with the technological society of today.. Mindset will take a few more decades to catch up.
@@SunwuChoiYpu forgot. the most important part where Koreans/Japanese work so much their life energy is drained for their job/further schooling. Just like an engine when pushed so much it fails and gets destroyed.
@@Mink_Tracks 3rd wold country's societal structure is different in a way that having a big family makes you wealthier. This is not always the case in Japan, South-Korea, Finland etc..
@@Makkara91 bull crap it does 😂 have you ever been to a 3rd world countries? Families actually end up starving because they just run out of money to feed all their kids... then they have more.
@@Mink_Tracks I don't think you know what "Third World" means Here's a hint "Subsistence Farming". Children are free labor when subsistence farming is the basis of your economy so having a large family increases your wealth because you can farm more land.
Ngl i thought that’s just how it is in every Asian household. U basically described my life perfectly. I was forced to do tennis and swim when I was young and did my best in my country’s standardized test only to be left feeling guilty about a painfully average score. I always have that feeling of being not good enough especially since all my relatives around me is in a better college and doing better with their lives.
I'm sorry to hear the hard days that you went through. I also was told that I have to go into a good university and because of that, I had a lot of fights with my parents. This video would not even be made if both of our parents said its ok to be bad at something, we might have a low score or physically weak, but we would have been so much stronger in the inside. I want my children to be strong in the inside, so lets make it better for our childs.
As long as you are a person who shows the best of himself, you are a wonderful person and you live a wonderful life. Opportunities do not stop, even at a certain age. You can achieve, God willing, everything you wish for. May the Lord bless you because your family has someone like you. All good families have someone like you.
I felt this way too, but also grew up poor though I went to a great school lol. Talk about immense pressure and everyone else around you having the best when your family is struggling just to have the "normal" stuff. I got rid of most social media after school because I kept comparing myself to my family and my friends who were all doing better. If that's possible for you to do you will feel better for it. Constantly comparing yourself to others is unhealthy and your not allowing yourself to be who your heart wants to be
Solution #1: is leveling up alot to obtain specialized skill so the young relatives and acquaintence of those powerful relatives think you are valuable to them. This way you substitute the emotional relief that your powerul relatives obtain from your inferiority, which is replaced with emotional relief from their children and acquiantance. There is a possibility of powerful relatives being jealous of you from other people liking you more. But specialized knowledge can improve the character development of the young relatives because they were exposed to neglected.
As an American, I feel this. We pay taxes, but it all gets swallowed up by the military. We don't get cool stuff like free health care or college, even though most employers really want college educated, healthy employees. I'd be less upset, but when veterans get home, the military doesn't help them at all, and many end up homeless and suffering. >:(
This is the dumbest and most nihilistic shit I've read. You were given the best gift of all, LIFE, from your MOTHER, and you have a duty to pay it forward and have more kids and give them the best experiences possible. Fuck society.
@@Little_Lepus I would say Americans have it easier since they are way more free then other country therefore their fertility rate is way larger(it’s at 1.7) which is already an anomaly for a 1st world country. Yeah you pay taxes but you pay way less than what Europeans do. Healthcare is never free it’s just compensated through high taxation, which I am not a fan of. Nor do I think that free health care or return for taxes would solve the fertility rate. Neither would any financial or material insentive. What creates a stable fertility rate is a stable family that can only exist within a society with morals, which 1st and 2nd world countries lack, due to the lack of moral principles people slide into perpetual nihilism making them see this world purely through a individual lense, making it seem wasteful to start a family.
@@dayoonman3264now why would they have a heart attack? They work with their body if anything their naturally stronger then somone who sits on an office chair types their life away.
@@Mokawoo lots of young athletes are having heart attacks these days. Why would they if they are naturally stronger? What does natural strength have to do with a poor diet? How can high intensity training cause atherosclerosis? Why do studies show mRNA causing an increase in myocarditis? There are many questions to think about, but that's not the point I was making. There are plumbers, electricians and carpenters that will get heart attacks. And the OP thinking that they will get the last laugh didn't consider the cardiologist that will be saving their life. Let me spell it out for you in case you still don't get it. Everyone is important in society no matter what job they perform, and everyone is going to need help from others at some point. Capisce?
hi sunwu it’s soo ironic they show k dramas full of romance and love and togetherness …but in reality everyone is running in a race of money and better life not on the purpose …
8:31 I feel like nowadays, the word 'average', 'mediocre', 'mid' etc carry a lot of negative connotations when it shouldn't have to. And I think more people also starting to use the word to describe 'bad' instead of the real meaning, which is neither good, nor bad.
I think women are tired of being stuck in the role of being the only parent. If I was a man, I’d want kids. As a woman, I don’t. The expectations are way too high and simply impossible if you want to actually be your own person still. Men can, but women can’t :(.
I don't see how having kids would prevent you from being your own person or give you too high expectations. Expectations for what exactly? You still want a meaningless man made slave career instead of raising a family? Will that really matter when you look back at it at the end of your life?
@@gj3514 because being a mum is a full-time job in our society. You can’t be anything but perfect. For example, If you get your kids take-out as a mum, you’re lazy, as a dad, you’re fun. Your question is a bit condescending, but let me break it down for you. Either I work for a boss, who gives me money or I work for a man, who just gives me more tasks and stress. HE gets a family, I get never ending complaints and whining.
@@gj3514 I take it you’re a stay at home parent in that case? Idk in what countries that is still possible these days but I definitely wouldn’t recommend to anyone.
Yeah, going through pregnancy and child-birth is more dangerous, and at the very least strenuous on a woman's body than the majority of people realise. Then there's the fact that studies have shown, that even in dual income households a woman does on average I believe it was 4 more hours of housework per week than the husband, even when both work the same amount of hours. Add to that the fact that women are usually the one's to plan family affairs and kids' doctors visits and what not. Who would want to take on a second, unpaid job basically while your husband lnly works 1? Everyday I am thankful for me being able to own my own bank account nowadays as a woman and having my own choice in reproduction (very thankful to live in Europe)
I was born and raised in Korea and studied abroad since middle school years, going to different countries on my own. Couldn't agree more, mostly the perception of how to live a life is not really set up by the individual's judgment but rather by constant input from others. And the constant comparison with others who are well off. Someone being a successful CEO or a professional in some field I'm not interested in is not the way I may succeed, because I'm not the same person. Also I may not want to be a doctor, lawyer, or a professor. I wanted to be an illustrator, doing something like concept arts in video games, or some sort of field that I could be creative in an art form. The incessant input from my family and relatives was nothing but "oh you can't make a lot of money being an artist" without even looking at my pieces. I also got accepted to multiple art universities in america, and also to a uni I wanted to go to. But my parents did not let me, and I ended up majoring in economics. Now I'm just studying how to code and doing data analytics, while working as an analyst. Despite currently living in the states, the constant pressure from your people doesn't stop. I wish I were more adamant on saying what I wanted to do but I guess when I was a bit younger I wanted to make my parents happy. Now I regret being so subservient to their aspirations when it should've been my life.
@@dorisstories2411 exactly what I'm doing, gonna start small with something like an instagram page with my old pieces and draw more new things. Just a lot on my plate rn cuz I work, do phD stuff and do python
You can sell your art work online and set a price and make money that way. It’s like a side hustle until you’re making money to live off on. But at the moment you need that analyst job for income and save,save as much as you can.
while i was studying abroad in korea i worked at the uni to prepare korean kids to study abroad. one of the things we did was to have a bit of a back and forth about a topic and having a kid was a topic. pretty much all the kids talked about the birth rates and pretty much all the girls said they don’t want kids and they don’t really care. they talked about how having kids is a risk to their job, there isn’t a good support system to raise kids, and of course some of them just didn’t want to be a mom (super valid). all but one of the guys i had this conversation with said people should have kids bc birthrate, economy, and reasons other than the woman wants them. i’m not korean so of course my words hold a lot less value but if an outsiders prospect helps a little; i think korean men should consider the women’s perspective when they wonder why the birthrate is so low (along with other things ofc).
As a person from India, I understand what you're saying. In my state, few days ago we lost a chartered accountant named Anna due to work pressure. It was a heart attack. Anna was 26. Like your country, the pressure on younger generation to compete and do jobs that make you overwork is really taking a toll on my generation: gen z. This is all very relatable to us. Thank you so much for your much valuable thoughts! 💫✨ Finding channels like yours is what I find the most fulfilling about the social media!!! Thank you!!!
I know. None of her office mems even attended her funeral. And we have old corporate people saying we should work 12-14 hours and pay is like 3L a year. Basically just slavery.
This is spot on. I've said this before, the birthrate is directly tied to the perceived difficulty of the expectations for the acceptable standard of living. Korea currently has way too high standards for raising children. Education, Hygiene, Social Etiquette, everything is way too snobby. Korea also has a rigid system that makes it unattainable and unsexy to achieve the high standard set by society. Very few people actually want to work for Samsung, most just want the pay, prestige, and privelege that comes with working for Samsung. I have more to say but my lunch break is over lol. Great video
My friends and me often talk about this topic, we're all around the age of 24 so we get asked the question "do you want kids" more often now. The general consesus is that we do want children but we want to earn enough money so that we can give the care the child deserves, without forsaking ourselves. Even though we live in a country (Belgium) where we get a lot of social benefits, it just does not seem enough. Renting/buying properties are getting more and more expensive (and it does not seem to stop) while the wages are staying the same, is very demotivating (and let's not talk about the way work culture is constructed). People also want to work on their mental health more so that they don't transfer their generational trauma to their kids. Apart from that, there's so much to explore in this world, I feel like my generation wants to experience more things before settling down and starting a family. And maybe from those experiences then decide where in the world they prefer to live? (It's just an extra thought that came to mind, if you have a child you can still move abroad but it just makes it more difficult). Also I dont know how dating culture is in South Korea, but here more and more young people are single. My personal opinion about it is that dating apps like tinder just present you with too many choices, so you have the feeling that you can always 'get someone better', at the same time it kills the more 'traditional' way of dating, by meeting someone at a random place and having the courage to talk to them if you find them interesting. (there's obviously more to it but I'm just going to leave it at that because my thoughts are going all over the place lmao, dating just feels more difficult, and thus leading to less people having children because they dont find a suitable partner). I can go on tbh it's a very interesting topic to me but Im going to leave it at that, thank you for showing us your thoughts about it and how it is perceived in your culture! :)
Thanks for your perspective ! its interesting that all around the world, this issue seems to exist with a similar shape. I agree about the more to explore part because I also feel like when you are just dating, you can still explore and have a lot of fun around the world, but when you have a baby, its like you get stuck since the baby needs care. We still want to live and have fun more like a teenagers but our biological age says its time to have a baby, which is conflicting. Also, the dating app and knowing lot more options, there is a thing called 37% rule. To get the best possible partner while saving time, its a mathmatical proof that you need to date 37% of the candidates and choose the best from before. So that means, the more candidate you feel like it exists, the longer it takes you feel like you found "the one" cuz you feel like there are a lot of candidates and you dont feel like you have met 37% of them.
South Korean American. Been pressured a lot to be the top of my class and Cs are not allowed. Been beaten a lot by wooden spoons whenever I acted up and had been a Gifted Kid growing up. Now I am 35,never married and childless and work at a Gas Station with my Social Security being cut and life is just an endless struggle for no payoff. I wanted to draw and work on art for a living and my parents were the first to shoot it down. They also did the same with me whenever I have my hobbies. All I am left with is a lot of resentment and anger and a wish to have never been born. I hate my heritage and my childhood and don't want to force a child into this world to sate my ego. All that added with me being eldest of 3 has made me feel empty. It seems that even living in the US has not done me favors and honestly I may have end up taking my own life in Korea for better or worse.
Well don’t do that. You are seen and loved. This world is impossible and NONE of us asked to be here. At least some of us are wiser than our parents and aren’t needing additional cogs in the machine, additional sufferers into this hellscape. We’ve lost sense of community. We’ve really lost our way period. This is what happens when corporations are allowed to become these Goliath’s and remain unchecked for decades. Please don’t take your life. You’re already mid-30s so halfway-ish go your grave anyway…. That’s how I see it as I too am 30 lol Just don’t be sexually irresponsible. Try finding joy in simple things like books, meditation podcasts, and most importantly: nature walks. If there is a god (tough to believe with how shitty this place is for so many of us) then I believe he is nature, and nature is he. I feel so at peace on my daily nature walks. 💜 much love. You’re not alone. Many of us feel the same. Forward motion.
Because the most economically and educationally advantaged societies have so many other problems! Hard to focus on family when you can’t survive due to how your societal issues.. I never thought there was so many issues than when I came back to USA from traveling third world countries. Every issue is on full display, and talked about but nothing changes. In 3rd world, people don’t talk they focus on what they can do id say
They have high birthrates because of less education 😅 the don't know anything about birth control or family planning. Their kids suffer the way they are suffering
@larrysmith2655 They also don't have access to contraceptives, adequate sex education, or, in some cases, any education at all. If, in developed countries, housing prices and general day to day living expenses were somehow kept at reasonable rates, you would find only a very slight rise in live births. The more educated the person, the less likely they are to have multiple children. And barring religious practices, this holds true for wealthy people in developing countries also.
I don't know you, but man... you seem like a very friendly and approachable guy :D I just thought for a second...if we met in school as new classmates, I think I'd definitely approach you :D Good video and interesting take on this topic!!
I think you covered the competitiveness and high social pressure that society and parents place on kids pretty well. It's rare to find people who think this profoundly on topics like this one. I lived in Korea for half a year and have friends there and I must say that now I understand what they meaning with 'Hell Joseon'. Hearing from my korean friends about how their whole life is about building success. Everything from hagwon, extracurricular classes in stuff they were never interested in as you mentioned, being top of the class and getting high score in the Suneung to get higher chances to enter a SKY university, getting a job a one of the top 5 Samsung, SK, Hyundai, LG and POSCO. Because if you dont build that success you are considered a nobody, not just by society standards but by your family and friends. The materialism and fakeness in relationships too. One of my friends described having friends in Korea has a play everyone has roles in and one can never really be oneself and one always has to compare against the others to make sure one fits in always. That is too much on a human being. Korea's history wasnt an easy one, they put a lot of work on surviving time and time again which I find so incredibly admirable and brave. But I really hope people like you, the young generation, pushes to change this mentality of success > humanity because is really robbing South Korea of a possible and sustainable future. We are humans, not projects nor products. Our feelings, our fears, our dreams and hopes is what makes us worthy, not how many figures we make nor how many LV bags we have or if we got a degree from here and not there. Btw, the cicada sound on the background brought me memories of walking in Yeuido Park 🥹
Finnish person here! I think why the birth rate is lower every year here as well is a bit different to Korea in the sense that having a child, whilst an expense, is not as expensive. But here a lot of people now view it as a choice, and many now willingly choose not to have kids to keep their personal freedom and obviously save money in the process (probably the same in other countries as well). Having kids used to be something most people did, but now people put thought into it and it seems like the question is "do I actually want to have kids" first before there is the expectation that you'll have kids of your own. Interestingly, I also think a big part of this is how people pair up. Fifty years ago it was normal to date a while and then get married but nowadays people find it harder to find a partner as we're all looking for love and not only a match to build a family with. Here in Finland there is actually a big problem of men in their 40s who are unwillingly childless. The dynamic of dating has changed so drastically in the time of the internet and many people spending way more time in their own homes compared to before. And I really think soon we won't be talking about a declining birth rate but a stable, low one.
Finland's birth rate started declining after the 2008 financial crisis (as did USA's and many other countries' birth rates), and it really started crashing after 2014, when the EU started its trade war against Russia, which affected Finland significantly. I don't want to dismiss cultural factors completely, but economic issues seem like the main underlying cause here.
@@hyhhyyup, but tackling the economic issues is a can of worms no one wants to open. Because it means talking about wealth repartition, end of capitalism etc... Easier to just pin it on culture and "young ones not caring", or "damn feminists" and keep things going as usual 😅
@@hyhhy Our birthrate went below replacement rate 55 years ago. It all started with the pill and the s"xual revolution which changed the mating culture. You can see changing attitudes over generations in the over generational study FINS"X. Women's behavior has changed completely, but they won't admit it.
@@etienne8110 Anything is always an excuse for a non-productive person to ask for more power and resources. The poor countries have higher birth rates, so it's not about having resources. It's all about the culture and the materialist philosophies that are self-centered, instead of transcendental. That's why we have a mental health crisis too. People are missing that higher purpose, and you can't fix that with hedonistic nihilism and money.
I'm 35 now, but I knew at the age of 5 that I'll never want to have kids. For me, it's a default, I never understood why people wanted to birth children. I was made to feel like such a freak growing up. It's actually nice that nowadays it's becoming more and more common to be childfree/childless.
I'm Korean and have lived in both the U.S. and Korea. To be honest, in Korea, people often expect things to be done quickly, and there's a belief that working long hours leads to productivity. Not everyone thinks this way, but the majority see it as normal. I believe one of the issues contributing to this is the practice of the comprehensive wage system in many companies. The problem with this system is that companies claim everything is included in the wage, which means they don’t pay for overtime. And it's almost normalized to make works work overtime. I hate this system personally and do not want to work in a office.
How do you even come to the conclusion that overwork is related somehow to not having children? You just need to have sex once and you have a child no matter what you do later. Those conversations about birthrates shows that people just complain about whatever they want instead of just saying that they don't want children at all
@@Restrocket Lol you obviously dont know what youre talking about. Everything affects the birthrate, including your job. Nobody wants to have a child when they are forced to work 60 hours week. You would have no time to raise the child, no time to help your partner, no time to bond with your child, when you get off work all you want to do is sleep. This doesnt even account for the mental pressure of working long hours. Depression, stress, anxiety, etc all contribute to not wanting a child. Also why would you want a child if you know that when the child will grow up, they will have to work their whole life and be depressed.
@@Restrocket - In the old days when people still had families, the FATHER would work 12+ hours a day. The mother didn't. Mothers were not in offices that would grind them down and expect 60+ hour workweeks that left them with zero time to raise children.
@@spoookyspencer - Every single one of those pro-natalist tards ignores the fact that it was FATHERS that worked insane hours. Not the mom. The mom actually had time to be at home, cook, clean, raise children, while the dad would come home dead tired from a long shift and the sight of smiling children, combined with the smell of a nice dinner, would tell him it was all worth it.
Birth rate is going down everywhere in the industrialized world. And the reason is pretty much the same. Chasing career and material things which puts off child birth beyond prime years.
Thank you for this video! I feel like the majority of people miss the point as to why birth rates are going down and I think you hit the nail right on the head. Things like housing, high cost of living, and healthcare/childcare costs certainly don’t help the situation but they aren’t the main reason to me. You’re spot on when you say it’s a toxic and competitive environment where people constantly compare themselves to others and feel unworthy in this world. I believe there have been studies showing that there is a correlation between high social media usage and lower birth rates. I also appreciate your hopeful take as to what could fix our broken societies. Consider me a fan and you got yourself a new subscriber. 😊
I feel the same way. I’m not Asian btw. But my childhood felt the same except it was teachers. I was one of the only black students in a white college prep school and I felt pressured to be better than my peers. I remember having straight A’s and being told that still wasn’t good enough. I was average. I got laughed at when I said I wanted to change my career choice from a doctor to a video game developer. I was in band, I was in robotics club, I worked 2 jobs all while in high school. I ended up getting a full scholarship to college. It wasn’t the best college but it was good. I graduated with a bachelor’s in computer science, certification in cybersecurity, minors in Japanese and Chinese. I work for the government as a software engineer in aviation. But I still don’t feel good enough in life. I feel like a failure everyday. I watch my peers getting their PhD in medicine or becoming doctors and see my old teachers still talking to them a congratulating them, while I get silence on my graduation pictures. I feel like I failed because I changed my mind from becoming a doctor. Antidepressants helped for a while, but I started gaining weight and felt like a failure again. I hope to be healed up this pain one day, but I don’t know who to talk to about it.
Hm....ever tried attending the organized social, hobby, and activity groups on Meetup? Or volunteering? I've been into a hiking/backpacking group and casual music improv group during months and seasons when I'm not as busy. Also two years ago I moved back to where I grew up where most of my family and close friends are and that's helped too. The moving back makes sense by how formerly practicing MIT-trained neurosurgeon Dr. Goobie anecdotally observes from the minority, but very apparent percentage of patients he encountered who either saw their chronic nerve pain fade away between scheduling surgery and the scheduled operation date had a low-salt diet, were active outdoors, and had a robust & supportive network of friends, family, and confidants. I guess this could be lumped -in with the general and vague term of "preventative medicine", but the goal is promoting the body to halt the progression or even heal itself of chronic pain and developing symptoms of cardiovascular diseases and disorders of all kinds. Towards the end of his account he says that it gradually wore on him that the American healthcare system hinges on keeping up revenues through giving treatments, but does barely anything to help patients get better in fundamental ways to the point of not needing to depend long-term let alone initially on the care of a doctors and treatments. Dr. Goobie's channel is awesome! Totally recommend checking him out.
@@handlemonium Yes! I’m going to a same event this Sunday with some people. And to a Ballet and Japanese Bunraku show next week. I’m trying to get into sewing and possibly ballet to meet some new people.
I think smaller communities are the best places to raise children. A town small enough where your family knows everyone and everyone knows your family. In such an environment, all the responsibilities of raising a child will not fall solely on two people. It can be distributed throughout the community. Seems that Japan and South Korea are each lacking in these types of environments.
To some extent, although from what I see small towns in Japan are actually making huge efforts towards doing exactly this (attracting young families, providing free daycare and transport for kids if parents are working etc)
@@jdg9999 - This is just papering over the real problem where "almost all of the good jobs are in major cities that are not suitable for raising a family."
@@arthurwintersight7868 True. But villages can't deal with that, there needs to be a major mission by national government and business, and improvements in technology and social organization (work from home possibly becoming a mandatory option, better tele commuting tech etc)
East asia too competitive in general. I'm chinese and i know it. While in my country, the irony is, many rich household (south east asia) just only had 2 child (most common in big city) or 1 (capital city), while the poor living in the suburb or village had 3/4 child while also having many debts (usually rely to single sibling who hasnt married yet, and gaslight them 'u havent married yet, can i borrow your money?') The rich (or middle class) produce good and great kids, the poor one continue to the cycle of structural poverty and making more babies.....sigh
16:44 "The grass is always greener on the other side..." Something that I think about every once in a while. And as you said especially with Social Media. Also... Not going to lie, the main thing that your talked about in this video "dignity". It has made me think about my life and society as a whole and made me realise that a lot of people are losing that day by day. I remember nearing my finals in Secondary School I felt very low at that time, even losing the smile I once had everyday. But after overcoming some challenging parts of my life (+ covid period). I realise that there is so much for me to go and learn and experience and to find something that I am passionate about and that will fulfil me int the end. (+ live a good lifestyle.) Thank you for making this video, very insightful. P.S. Sorry if I sound all over the place with my comment. Had something constructive to say at first, but sadly forgot afterwards. 😅
I feel your emotions through the comment and the sentences. Im also really sad to see my friends only talking about how to make more money or just the media talking about how the house price is gonna go down or up. We really need time to learn about ourselves and focus on what we really want in life. And this take time, a long time. I always get so happy to read comments like yours. That my talking gave inspiration, motivation, hope, or even joy. Hope you also fill your life with your dignity and protect yourself from the harse comparisons 👍
Oh how I longed to find someone with a beautiful view on life that is not superficial and that differs from many,boy, you have a lot of wisdom, you value dignity and understand that happiness is in the smallest details, in love, which is essential and that distinguishes us and defines who we are and about values and principles 👏🏻🇰🇷
I do agree that pushing activities that the child doesn't want is not really ideal, but with sports its my opinion to look for a sport that the child actually wants to do and to stimulate them. Partly for their health and also mental health. But if a child gets like really depressed or really gets unhappy doing sports then its fine not pushing sports.
yeah I think whats important is the parent to give them enough time and opportunity to let them try different stuff and find what they like. Not fulfilling their dreams through their child but sports is important since its related to physical health, so maybe its extra important to help the child find the sport they like
You’re assuming that past generations were fully ready to have kids. Yes financially they were better set up, but mentally everyone dives in head first and figures it out along the way. If we wait for everyone to be “ready” we’d go extinct.
As a German who grew up with LOTS of philosopers I am happy knowing that I grew up in a society where below average is okay when you enjoy it. When it comes to academics I'm glad that while school is stressful and hard, but even if you're average you'll manage to find people who think you're amazing for your personality, your passion or other things. I'm grateful knowing I wasn't born in a competitive environment, but I hope it gets better for koreans or that they recognise that it'll get worse and worse if they keep pushing it 🫂
Great comment ! As I mentioned in the video, I learned the concept of dignity from a german book ! Im very into german philosophers so maybe Ill talk more about them in the future videos. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Same here in NZ still the top grades and academics and firms etc but passing is totally fine in most fields, the saying “C’s get degrees” I had to get more than that for law but yeah hahaa
McWilliams (a renowned psychologist and psychoanalyst) described Eastern societies as exemplary of a community with strong obsessive traits where standards for all are high, but achievements are not celebrated but accepted as part of something "you should do". It's pretty depressing seeing such competitive dynamics that is not allowed or common to just live the way you want and doing it so you can honor your ancestors.
As a Korean-American with all my extended family in Seoul, I've learned and seen much about how Korean society runs, including the more lowkey things that don't get heard outside of Korean-Korean circles. Sunwu highlights the main problem of how Korean society embodies elitism in all regards of life, including height, top 17% being considered an average grade, and overemphasizing the importance of career. I agree and would add that this issue is a core cause for many of Korea's problems. I would like to add more details on why elitism specifically is hurting Korea's birth rate opposed to other countries, which although they have declining birth rates, do not close to Korea's detrimental birth rates. 1. Opposed to the 60's to 80's, having a successful career nowadays is prioritized more. Therefore, the perceived benefit of having children is lowered as having children will take time and money, setting their careers back while others are able to surpass them. 2. The perceived cost of having children is very high. Not only do kids need food and shelter, but now, sending kids to expensive tutoring classes is a requirement, starting at a very young age. While most students in America do not get hours of tutoring out of school, quite literally every student takes out-of-school tutoring for hours every day. In fact, public school teachers expect their students to get this tutoring to keep up with the class which is ridiculous. Only content covered in class should be expected. 3. The young adults in Korea have many complaints about the current economy and government. They feel like they can barely make a living themselves with the spike in housing costs and the difficulty of getting a sustainable, well-paying job without going to a SKY university. If they can't sustain themselves, why would they think bringing a newborn would make things any better? I could get more into Korean society and with potential solutions, but overall, it would take a huge change in mindset to escape the elitist and materialistic society Korea is today.
I think this isn't just a Korean issue-it's global. Countries like Japan, China, Taiwan, and Singapore face the same challenges. With rising costs, many can't even afford a house in Korea, let alone the US. If people can't cover their own expenses, having children becomes even harder. I really appreciate your thoughts on society. While I don't know much about Seoul, I understand it's hyper-competitive, focused on status, wealth, and appearance. It's similar to the Bay Area, where people make tons of money but still struggle. I often hear about Seoul's high suicide rates, and it's worth noting that some schools here in the Bay, like Gunn, have faced similar issues. Sadly, the problem seems ingrained in society and isn't likely to change, even in places like Thailand, where life is more laid-back but fertility rates are still low. Ultimately, it's all about money.
Your comment is absolutely correct. This declining fertility rate is so complex that its just so hard to even figure out what the problem is. It might be the inequality in wealth, it might be people being too smart and just being aware of themselves too much, it might be the social media comparison affecting self esteem, its like earth had a long run and realized the earbuds are so tangled inside the pocket.
Living costs are definitely not the reason why fertility rates are going down. All the countries in Africa have undeniably equivalent or worse living standards to most of these eastern countries. The truth is that its just a biproduct of modern society, there is more access to contraceptives and people are generally more educated. When you grow old you can just move to a retirement home and live off your 401k.
@@really7046 Contraceptives and education might be part of it, but cost of living absolutely impacts fertility rates in developed countries. Comparing Africa doesn't work here because their high birth rates come from lower education and fewer options. In places like Korea, Japan, and the Bay Area, people aren't having kids because they can't afford to. Housing, healthcare, and education are huge financial burdens. It's not just about access to birth control-money is a big reason people are choosing not to have children.
It's so cool that you recommended a German book! "Würde" is actually the first word of the first sentence in Germany's consitution! "Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar." = "The dignity of a human is untouchable." Thanks to you I remember how cool this sentence is and with your thoughts it gives new meaning to it! But I think the meaning of Würde and dignity is not the same.
So your ideas are: 1. Koreans seek Perfection. (I'd say most people do, and it often keeps us back from trying new things and pursuing our passions) 2. People have low self-esteem / higher standards than the average. I can 100% see how this would make people afraid to take big steps and make important progress in their lives. 3. Koreans put work and Productivity above Passion (and individuality) - again this feels like a global first world issue to me, but it could be more prevalent in advanced highly structured societies like Japan and Korea very good points! Here's a few of my own thoughts: 1. Having a child is definitely not productive in the short term (18+ years) and people are not good at thinking long term since we exist in the short term. Having a 10 year plan might sound good and productive but it is also gonna be depressing focusing on only yourself and your "Perfection" for 10 friggin years - or an impossible goal.... at least that's how I feel 2. People should all try to be more relaxed, and parents should let their kids pursue their passions and make their own choices, because if we are not given the freedom to be ourselves it's gonna be extremely hard to have confidence in who we are and make real lasting relationships. 3. We all make mistakes. We need to feel safe making mistakes, we need to be supported! Otherwise learning new skills and making difficult decisions becomes very hard and undesirable, and most people will avoid taking such risks.
Mistakes for sure. For one I allow myself to try and fail at anything a few times before deciding whether to move on or whether it's worth it to stick it out and suck at something until I'm competent to a satisfactory degree.
What you talked about parents wanting a "perfect child" and pressuring them to achieve this above average standard, that reminded me of Attack on Titan, when Carla (Eren's mom) says this: "Is it wrong to not be special? I don't think that way. Not when it comes to my son. It's ok if he's never great. He doesn't have to be better than anyone. After all, just look at him, he's so cute! Besides, he is *already* special. *Because he was born into this world!* " If only more parents (especially asian parents from what I've seen) could share a little bit of Carla Jaeger's wisdom. The way she embraces him with such unconditional love is so precious. I still remember how that speech made me tear up.
Ohhh right, I remember that quote too!!! Thats actually a wonderful quote, and I loved how attack on titan showed how non titan army also showed value. Also the part where the kids are competing to become a titan warrior reminds me of Zhang Zhou tree story where a straight good looking tree gets chopped first for wood, but a wiggly weird tree wasnt chopped cuz it didnt had any value. The kids in attack on titan who were competing for titan warriors are like this, the better you are, the earlier you die since you become a titan. Thanks for the comment !
Love the vid! I like these discussions it's like siting with your homies and keep talking until everyone's tired. In my college life I have lived with many peoples, some of them were even working in a company, after coming from work they get really really tired, they just eat their dinner, watch something on their phones and sleep, and the cycle continues. I still a college student so I have luxury of having some energy to walk after dinner and I think many things like plans about future, what should I have done back then, things that I could add to my projects. People don't aimlessly wander and think about nothing anymore, people are losing their connections with themselves. How are people suppose to think if they don't get enough energy and time for themselves. We have lost the spectacle of Milky Way that enshrined humanity for millennias, now I don't want to lose luxury of thinking nothing. Many great literatures were made because they let their mind wander freely...
In Sweden we instead have that "we won't force you, but you SHOULD want to", so you feel like an asshole if you don't want to. You should want to study, you should want to visit your grandparents, you should want to exercise, etc.
Isn’t more like ”if you dont do those things, then you will fail in society and do worse for yourself”. Atleast that is what my mom always told me, to be fair the free education system in sweden is grade based, so I kind of agree with that point because there are some things that I regret in school that I could have done better.
As someone in my 40s. I actually agree with Swedish society. You cant force people to do things that would be wrong, but some things do matter and its ok to say they are. It's not just doing what makes us happy all the time. Well sure happiness is important but its not just being selfish, we have to consider others and how we impact them. Your grandparents will all be gone sooner or later, the older the you get the more important it is to take care of your body, you should care about how your lifestyle affects the planet etc. Its not about being perfect but you only get one life and it gets shorter every year. I think a lot of the issue with kids is the way too high expectations that are put on parents. I see it with some of my friends like there is so much judgement for being relaxed but thats how we were raised and we're fine for the most part. It makes me scared for the kids too. We really need to get back to a place where doing your best is good enough like he says in the video. (obviously there is a minimum point where we need to make sure the childs needs are being met and parents are total pieces of shit but for the most part yeah good enough is ok)
we have a similar problem to the 1-9 scale in korea. In the netherlands 60% of students go to lower vocational school (MBO) and the government literally calls those students lowly educated. And we insult each other with it.
@@trueordrue I think its complicated, they don't learn algebra, biology, reading advanced poetry/texts, chemistry, and physics. Instead getting subjects like cooking , working ergonomically in the work space. We tend to say "they are smart with their hands" seriously and as insult. But because 60% end up going there its crazy to think about calling over half the pop uneducated.
@@crystalpuck1314 If you're ever insulted for it, just reply with "It could be worse; I could have gone to university and ended up braindead instead of poorly educated"
So: 1. SK is has a very competitive culture 2. Enjoying life is not a priority 3. The childs happiness is not a priority because of the previous concerns... My questions: 1. Do you want to have kids? Would you travel to another country and live outside SK? (Considering how the issue is global) 2. What is your opinion on the 4b movement? Do you see any changes coming from this in the future? Thank you for sharing 🌻
Your points are correct and well summarized :) I think I want to have kids, didn't thought about this that much yet, but if I get to marry and have a stable family, maybe yes I am very careful when it comes to gender related topics, but I replied on another comment about that so maybe that would answer your curiosity.
My man, love from Mexico. Truth is we belong nowhere (you are welcome here) and we can only make ourselves happy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts honestly. PD your English is amazing.
This topics you talk about remind me really of the book capitalist realism by mark fisher. Your voice is really relaxing and your thoughts were really interesting especially the ideas about Zhang Zhou. Thank you very much
Hi Sunwu, the points you made were interesting and I mostly agree with your comments on the situation in Korea. Despite all the economic progress that Korea has today, and the fact that Koreans today are having the highest standard of living as compared to anytime in history, I believe the main issue is the need to be better than others. Similar to Chinese culture (I’m Malaysian Chinese btw), we always complain that society judges us for how much materialistic (or as you put it, measurable wealth) we have, however on the same note we always judge others in the same way. This explains your concept of “inflated average”, as it is not that people are worried that they are not average. It’s the fact that they want to surpass the average person, to provide self-esteem to themselves. One big side effect of this mentality is that it destroys relationships amongst friends and family. I personally lost my best friend of 14 years, due to him being a hypercompetitive person and his strong envy towards me for “getting a higher income” than him. I also grew up resentful of some close family members as I was often compared to them on my academics as well as other measurable traits. Back to the topic of having kids, I think many parents (east-asian, hypercompetitive) will first think whether their kids would be better than other kids, or else what’s the point? I would may as well reserve my time and money on myself to enjoy materialistic goods which makes us “feel better” anyways. Lastly, even those who “succeed” in the traditional sense either find themselves having lost their sense of self, or lost other important things in life by the time they reach the “peak”. I won’t say that I am very well off myself, but as a Malaysian (3rd world country) who works in a 1st world country, I can sense much envy from my peers which cause them to distant from me. I also am quite lonely in this new place, despite being able to afford vacations at whim. If it weren’t for being together with my wife, I might perhaps decide to leave in a few years. But I can say that genuine relationships bring me much more happiness than any amount of additional “material” goods.
I read your comment and I can relate to them too. While we are entering an era where life expetancy is getting longer and more machines are doing work for us, we need to take more care about knowing who we are and realizing each of us are precious, not comparable like a grade A meat.
The richer a country gets, the more individualistic people become, and with more individualism you don't feel the need to have any connections with people. In previous centuries when people were a lot poorer and didn't have a government giving them handouts and freedoms for everything, they needed to band together and rely on each other in their community for protection and self-preservation. Marriage and children were a way to increase your social connections and status as well as a safety net in your old age when you're physically weak and even senile. But with so much wealth, pension schemes, nursing homes for the elderly, and the secular liberal system ensuring your rights and safety, people can now afford to live by themselves well into their 70's and 80's without the need of a family.
Birthrate always comes down to LOOKS and women's society freedom South Korean Women or more free than they have ever been And the internet creates immense LOOKS competition
😂😂 South Korean women still are not free. I mean even a word of feminism makes men piss so bad that they cyber bullied a UA-camr to death bcz she talked about feminism once. Thats how bad they are. I mean recently they protested against bakery for allowing pregnant women before in line. That’s how much free Korean women are. Yes it’s better than the past. But women in SK suffer from lot of issues like crime rates against women are more and sadly, the Korean justice system doesn’t give proper justice. a child rap!st was released after shorter jail time and was allowed to live near the victim. That’s how much Korea cares about women. So in a way you are right, except that they do not want to marry or have children bcz of how men treat them.
You got the mom part right, but then you shied away from exploring that. Would like a video from you explaining the psychology and impact on society of the "Mom-Choong"
Indonesia also facing birth rate decline, faster than what already predicted. At first Indonesian government calcultated that indonesian population will reach up to 420 million in 2080 before starting to decline (minus population growth) but, due to recent crisis and more expensive cost of life, indonesian population birth rate are facing decline faster than that. It is predicted that indonesian population will decrease sooner than 2060
The analogy with the Sims is very insightful! 100 years ago most people were rural and if rural people needed help they just had another kid, now people tend to want to have their lives very optimised before having a child, whether that’s a lack of self-confidence or “prepping” for the career-hit a young child will bring.
Personally I don't want to get married and having kids is the last thing in my mind... I just feel like I don't want to go through the emotional labour in this Patriarchal society where everything I do will be undermined. Every time I go on the internet and see how men in my society talks about women in comments section of Sexual assault, domestic violence etc I just lose all my hope. Currently I am planning my life around things I will do and connect with similar mind of people as much as I can because I don't want to be lonely after 10 years surrounded by married people.
Oof the low selfesteem and "not feeling good enough" part hit me hard. I always felt like I needed to get my life in order and fix my own issues without even knowing what that ment, before even considering the posibilty of being in a relationship. I just realized a couple of months ago how destructive this perspective is, as now I feel like all those years chasing some intangible concept of maturity had me missing out on so much experience that I'm in the exact same position all over again.
Great video! nice and chill vibes while you learn something new. i know we talk about this subject a lot during stream but it was nice to see it all formatted into one cohesive video.
I think many parents see their child as an extension of themselves, which is why they want their child to be "perfect". Like what they couldn't do and achieve before when they were young, they will pressure their child to do and achieve it, just to satisfy themselves. It's sick because then when the child grows up and decide to have a family, they will do the same thing to their own child and the cycle continues. Or in another scenario, the child grows up and decide to not have family because they don't want their child to experience what they had to go through before and then down the birth rate goes. Of course, there's a lot more factors playing into the decline of the birth rate all over the globe, like the economy, but I love how you touch on the philosophical aspect and the dignity part. Because declining birth rate is not the only issue in today's world, finding a job and just trying to make money in general have been hard these days. Companies exploiting their employees, toxic workplace environment, the excessive focus on profit making... It leaves people feeling drained at the end of the day. It's like you're just surviving each day, not really living your life. And when you have a hobby or skills in making something (like painting), you also feel the pressure to make money out of it because like you said, we just become some sort of tool. Sorry for the long comment, it's just that what you talked about in this video just got me thinking about things. Great video.
13:08 The issue is not being perfectly fine human beings. The issue is security, stability, and predictability. If you have a six-figure income, you will not have as many unforeseen financial stressors as someone who earns significantly less. Long-term, that stress can negatively impact mental, emotional, and physical health, but it's easy to overcorrect with extreme workaholism and negative social comparisons. And yes, walking in nature and relaxing and doing nothing and simply existing are also crucial and necessary, not because we are human, but because we are alive and living beings on Earth need time to recover and replenish themselves and their reserves. That being said, walking in the park is not contributing to your emergency fund nor retirement savings, so you need to juggle both until you have enough investments to enjoy more leisure time without having to worry about bills and other expenses, like raising kids.
Reminded me of many convos I had with a Korean colleague and friend when we were still at SKKU studying politics. Pretty much the same points he made and it completely changed my perspective on certain aspects of Korean society. He specialized in political philosophy and I'm guessing that's why you might have came to the same conclusions. lol Good to see that there's someone else out there thinking the same things. Maybe there will be a change one day...
Man I really loved this video but I think your point at 15:26 about low scores in math, is actually the problem all high income societies are having trouble reconciling: How do we hold our kids to high standards w/ out putting horrible pressure on them that kills their spirit and hope? On the one hand I disagree a bit: If my child failed a test I would emphasize this is not a good thing to do and I know they can do better……… but I also want to HEAVILY emphasize it is not the end of the world and we can always pick ourselves up. I think the problem in Korea (& the west) is that parents put this deep UNHELPFUL fear in their children after failing a test. They say "You failed a test? Well now you will never get into good university! which means bad income! Which means homelessness! Which means dying under a bridge!!!" And then the child, instead of learning that hard work is important and is bad to not study etc. gets paralyzed w/ fear that if they do not ace every single test ever their life will be painful and frightening. Which is obviously not true. For example: Due to circumstances in my own life it took me many more than 4 years to finish college. But in that time I developed deep I guess you would say? Street Skills? Now I manage a multi-million dollar commercial property on the west coast. Am I a "failure"? I finished college at 30 don' have a masters yet make 4x most of my peers who did both. I think the probem to sum it up is life is like a very mysterious wooded path you never know how it is going to go, and should work hard, but not be in a state of panic about status/money at every moment. And to many parents in he USA, Korea, Europe etc. Are panicking for their child from he moment they are born. Then those kids grow up and have no interest bringing a child into the stressful life they had. This is the problem we need to fix: Everyone must calm down and take it one step at a time.
Imma be so honest. When I play the sims I’m like “I could make this life for myself, my sim is perfect and has everything” but then I remember I straight up neglect my sims needs and she soils herself every 3 days because I’m overworking her.
I’m all for gender equality and believe that ultimately we should strive to achieve equality among all people no matter their gender, race, religion etc. But it’s an undeniable truth that there is just one gender that can birth a child. Female. A female has to carry her the child for 9 months, has to go through a painful process and a recovery after that. No matter how progressive the society, females who become mothers lose on the job market. And since progressive countries not only encourage women to pursue professional careers but actively push for that (all the girlboss stuff), many women will simply choose not to have children until they are over 30 or not at all. All women who want to be competitive face a simple truth - while they are taking their maternity leave, there is a man or non pregnant woman who isn’t. And I am not even sure that’s a bad thing. There are 8 billion of us, constantly draining the resources of our planet. Maybe we have reached our peak. One thing that is bad for sure is how are future generations going to feed all of us retirees. I think that sooner or later there will be 1 young person for 5 elderly. My solution to this - adopt. There are so many children born in neglect. If you are over 30, more or less settled in life and want a child but are on edge then at least think about it.
Adoption is only a bandaid fix. Even disregarding any potential societal problems this could bring if it’s done in mass, eventually the neglected baby pool will run out too. The core of this problem is rooted in feminism. Women should not be encouraged to be professionals. They should be encouraged to be mothers. The workforce being 50% women is a problem. Not only for the sheer competitiveness, but everyone’s wages goes down from simple supply and demand. Ultimately, as non progressive as it may sound, the solution is removing women from the work force in drastic numbers and society pushing the importance of the nuclear family.
We can also create a working culture where taking 1 year off won't permanently damage your work life. A man might need to take time of work for health (undergoing an operation) or caretaking responsibilities. It would be good for men as well if we turn the dial down on competitiveness so one accident to you or your loved ones doesn't crater your career. Additionally, everything you said about pregnancy and infant care is true. But beyond that point fathers really could do so so so much more to help out with childcare. I would feel so much safer and supported knowing that I have a partner who will support me in returning to work and will be there in case of emergencies and I won't be essentially the only parent. That makes a world of a difference.
Maybe a society that is obsessed with doing pointless work to make someone else rich is part of the problem. Maybe shoving half the population that had always been homemakers into cubicles for no reason other than to enrich the already wealthy is part of the problem. It's not just the pressure on women to do pointless unsatisfying work for no real reason other than pay. Men still work themselves to the bone, once to provide for their families, now for nothing because they can get a family.
Still not women’s fault. Women have been catering and sacrificing their ambitions and dream for society since forever. It’s just now many women have choice and they are finally choosing what they want. Having children is not something women always preferred even in past. It’s just their opinions weren’t considered. If society wants women to give births, they need to create that environment where women shouldn’t have to sacrifice. Why is only expected to do parenting while men lose nothing? It’s not just work. Even working women end up doing 90% of parenting after child birth bcz society allowed men to get away.
@@piernikowyloodek Could try that but we kind of already have that in Poland. It did affect child birth rate to a more positive number though didn't last long from what I remember because another year it got to the same numbers. Though interestingly the child birth rate did plummet during the pandemic.
16:26 There also needs to be a clear distinction, and associated compartmentalization, between self-worth and performance. What you get on a math score does not define you as a person, and on the same token, just because you are person with inherent worth and value does not mean that it is acceptable to get a failing grade on a math. Math is a required subject for graduation in most countries, and the material is cumulative. Doing poorly in math now has unpleasant ripple effects into the future, and the issue needs to be addressed with tact and compassion. Yes, the parent should be helping their kid find what they are passionate about AND they should be ensuring that their child is getting the adequate help they need to perform well in their required academic subjects, especially those that appear in high-stakes exams.
Sort of disagree...while I can understand the necessity of learning math, not everyone is good at it. We should be encouraged to find what we're individually good at and help the youth work towards their greatest potential. But instead we wanna place everyone in a box.
@@sandyg4646 Not being good at math does not justify failing. It means that extra support is needed to practice the skills being tested. Unless the student has such very severe learning disabilities that make learning that level of math completely impractical, accommodations need to be provided so that the student can still learn the material well enough for future math courses and tests. While in an ideal scenario we would each pursue our natural strengths, at the present moment, most people in this reality who have access to formal education don't get a real choice in the matter. Companies and governments prop up paper ceilings requiring degrees from applicants, and many degree-granting institutions require certain math scores. Until the system is changed globally, only a privileged few will be able to specialize in what they are individually good at from a very young age.
Korea is a classist culture. It’s important for woman to marry up, but korean woman are successful now so there are not enough male surgeons, directors, and CEO’s to go around. Add the antisocial asian culture of being glued to their phone and too heavily relying on dating apps. It just ends up with the top guys being players and the girls thinking they actually have a chance that he’ll commit.
A childless society is not just depressing but a threat to civilisation. I can only speak from myself but I think many foreigners care and are rooting for Korea to turn it around. Your country has a lot going for it! Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.
But for countries like India and China it will be a good thing where there is a lack of enough jobs. And it will not be depressing as you are expecting. Rather the countries will be happier overall. Less population means less competition, less competition means greater mental well-being.
@@AvikNayak_ no it won't be a good thing, all it will end up meaning is that less and less young people end up having to look up after more and more old people so they get more tired, have a higher tax burden and won't prosper because pension funds will collapse or they can't be built. The only way you can create jobs is by investing in the appropriate infrastructure to allow capital to flow in, something that will also be impacted by a lower birth rate because there will be less working people.
It seems I’ve inspired a debate, I’m no expert but to my mind @@sho-m-er5194 is right. As an aside though, anyone see Children of Men? I know it’s just a movie but that’s how I imagine a child free society to look like. Pretty depressing
Amazing video. You are bang-on- competitiveness and the pressure to raise perfect children (which costs money) is putting people off. People would rather not have children than have imperfect children and face societal judgement. You are such a great speaker- looking forward to future content!
I love the idea you presented but I will add to it: When people see no love in their life, and their only goal is to earn money continuously forever and compete, Not only are they unconfident in themselves to support their child, but they also fear their children will fall into this same cycle
I really appreciate hearing you talk on this! Hearing so many things I thought was very cathartic... If I may add onto this though, I also think the raging misogyny in Korean culture right now is also making it harder for any women to settle down with a man. The things I hear from my dad and people around him, the things I hear from young adults and even highschooler around me and on the internet...it makes my skin crawl...
it’s such a sad reality that what was once a common occurrence in the past is becoming an expensive, unrealistic, and troubling reality. in america, the medical system doesn’t care about you or your children, if you have no insurance, the mother/father has to work day and night to pay for it, then, many people can’t even afford to live comfortably considering the rise of inflation and housing. i’m so sorry that it’s like that in south korea. i’m not religious, but honestly, i’ll beg the universe if i have to for a better outcome for this world, especially our generation. :(
I think Korea is destined to go through a deep demographic winter. It will change Korean society for better or worse, but Korean society will certainly change because this situation is not sustainable.
Working 9-10 hours a day kills society
Legalized slavery , a new form of slavery to be honest.
It's more vicious, people think they are free but they aren't.
What’s crazy is that’s all the technology that’s ban been created or has advanced since 1920. And even with all that lots people are still working the same amount of hours as the average worker from 1920 or more (1920 is around the time the 40hr work week began to become more widespread).
@@donnyv4750 We are cattle to the elites...
Apparently so does working 8 hours a day. Odd how poor Victorian people still managed to have a positive birth rate while working 10-12 hours a day.
No it doesn't. People worked 12+ hours a day in 1900s and had 3 babies in families or even more. Not saying we should work 12 hours, just saying that workhours have nothing to do with desire to have kids
The culture is too competetive!
No one has time and energy for sex, let alone partnership and kids.
Well, if you go out to the clubbing scene it's different 😂😂
They have energy for sax lol they sax more than any other country they just don’t want babies🤣
no
no its simply that sex is cheap its all about casual sex now and nothing serious.
@@perc-ai nothing do with muh casual and muh serious. Women don't want kids and that is the real reason
lived in korea for a year and I realized how many problems come from the internal side of Korea. They revolutionized too quickly, they were a 3rd world country up until 1960, many older generations carry outlooks that do not work in today's generation, and sadly the younger generation suffer a lot from it. Families still have the prideful mindset, and being disowned is very common because when things were simplier things they were also easier to achieve, parents expect their kids to achieve the same goals as they did. There is so much pressure on the younger generations that is nearly impossible for them to think about even putting through their next generation into this type of society.
This comment is almost a therapy session for me 🥲 but I agree, the technology, social norms, and wealth can change so rapidly but human mindset seems to have trouble catching up. Im very surprised how critical your points are even though you only lived a year!!
Sounds like he'll. Family should work together
Exactly! Someone born in 1960 is 65 now and were raised by persons born in 1930s. So they still are heavily influenced the old traditions and they pass on these to there children. Those traditions are mostly incompatible with the technological society of today..
Mindset will take a few more decades to catch up.
@@SunwuChoi And the older generation Instead, they blame smartphones as the cause of the problems they create.
@@SunwuChoiYpu forgot. the most important part where Koreans/Japanese work so much their life energy is drained for their job/further schooling. Just like an engine when pushed so much it fails and gets destroyed.
When having children lowers your standard of living.
If a family goes from "well off" to "struggling" because of a birth , the birth rate will drop.
Any 3rd world country begs to differ
@@Mink_Tracks 3rd wold country's societal structure is different in a way that having a big family makes you wealthier. This is not always the case in Japan, South-Korea, Finland etc..
@@Makkara91 bull crap it does 😂 have you ever been to a 3rd world countries? Families actually end up starving because they just run out of money to feed all their kids... then they have more.
@@Mink_Tracks I don't think you know what "Third World" means
Here's a hint "Subsistence Farming".
Children are free labor when subsistence farming is the basis of your economy so having a large family increases your wealth because you can farm more land.
@@glennchartrand5411 the extreme poverty stricken are lucky to have a house cuz.. forget farmland 😂
Beautiful video! No flashy edits, no crazy production. I just felt like I had a sensible conversation with another fellow human. Thank you!
No flashy edits ^^ (cough cough I'm lazy) I do prefer authentic vibes and down to earth atmosphere 😊
CAN KOreans stop freakin sending their kids to hagwons? STOP GOING TO hagwons 학원 그만좀 보내
@@SunwuChoi No this is perfect. Keep it up brother 😎👍
Ngl i thought that’s just how it is in every Asian household. U basically described my life perfectly. I was forced to do tennis and swim when I was young and did my best in my country’s standardized test only to be left feeling guilty about a painfully average score. I always have that feeling of being not good enough especially since all my relatives around me is in a better college and doing better with their lives.
I'm sorry to hear the hard days that you went through. I also was told that I have to go into a good university and because of that, I had a lot of fights with my parents. This video would not even be made if both of our parents said its ok to be bad at something, we might have a low score or physically weak, but we would have been so much stronger in the inside. I want my children to be strong in the inside, so lets make it better for our childs.
@@SunwuChoi your reply means a lot, thanks man 😭🤝
As long as you are a person who shows the best of himself, you are a wonderful person and you live a wonderful life. Opportunities do not stop, even at a certain age. You can achieve, God willing, everything you wish for. May the Lord bless you because your family has someone like you. All good families have someone like you.
I felt this way too, but also grew up poor though I went to a great school lol. Talk about immense pressure and everyone else around you having the best when your family is struggling just to have the "normal" stuff. I got rid of most social media after school because I kept comparing myself to my family and my friends who were all doing better. If that's possible for you to do you will feel better for it. Constantly comparing yourself to others is unhealthy and your not allowing yourself to be who your heart wants to be
Solution #1: is leveling up alot to obtain specialized skill so the young relatives and acquaintence of those powerful relatives think you are valuable to them. This way you substitute the emotional relief that your powerul relatives obtain from your inferiority, which is replaced with emotional relief from their children and acquiantance. There is a possibility of powerful relatives being jealous of you from other people liking you more. But specialized knowledge can improve the character development of the young relatives because they were exposed to neglected.
I think you can sum up the fertility crisis in every country by one sentence, society expects me to do stuff but it doesn’t do anything for me.
truer words cannot be said!
you are the best!
As an American, I feel this. We pay taxes, but it all gets swallowed up by the military. We don't get cool stuff like free health care or college, even though most employers really want college educated, healthy employees.
I'd be less upset, but when veterans get home, the military doesn't help them at all, and many end up homeless and suffering. >:(
This is the dumbest and most nihilistic shit I've read. You were given the best gift of all, LIFE, from your MOTHER, and you have a duty to pay it forward and have more kids and give them the best experiences possible. Fuck society.
@@Little_Lepus I would say Americans have it easier since they are way more free then other country therefore their fertility rate is way larger(it’s at 1.7) which is already an anomaly for a 1st world country. Yeah you pay taxes but you pay way less than what Europeans do. Healthcare is never free it’s just compensated through high taxation, which I am not a fan of. Nor do I think that free health care or return for taxes would solve the fertility rate. Neither would any financial or material insentive. What creates a stable fertility rate is a stable family that can only exist within a society with morals, which 1st and 2nd world countries lack, due to the lack of moral principles people slide into perpetual nihilism making them see this world purely through a individual lense, making it seem wasteful to start a family.
Frankly america just doesn’t seem like a place you want to have a child.
I think the plumbers, electricians, and carpenters are going to have the last laugh.
Until u have a heart attack
@@dayoonman3264now why would they have a heart attack? They work with their body if anything their naturally stronger then somone who sits on an office chair types their life away.
@@Mokawoo lots of young athletes are having heart attacks these days. Why would they if they are naturally stronger? What does natural strength have to do with a poor diet? How can high intensity training cause atherosclerosis? Why do studies show mRNA causing an increase in myocarditis? There are many questions to think about, but that's not the point I was making. There are plumbers, electricians and carpenters that will get heart attacks. And the OP thinking that they will get the last laugh didn't consider the cardiologist that will be saving their life. Let me spell it out for you in case you still don't get it. Everyone is important in society no matter what job they perform, and everyone is going to need help from others at some point. Capisce?
@@dayoonman3264 This reads like a cringey copypasta
@@dayoonman3264you really have proved nothing in your comment. Do you believe that life is too short to exercise and stay healthy?
hi sunwu it’s soo ironic they show k dramas full of romance and love and togetherness …but in reality everyone is running in a race of money and better life not on the purpose …
K drama is escapism
K dramas is the escape sadly many people will go to Korea thinking they will experience a fantasy 😂
Better life for what if you guys aren't having families? To impress others?
Are you watching those gay shows?
@@Mpz3cat koreans, just have kids, feed them and thats it, dont send them to hangwons
8:31 I feel like nowadays, the word 'average', 'mediocre', 'mid' etc carry a lot of negative connotations when it shouldn't have to.
And I think more people also starting to use the word to describe 'bad' instead of the real meaning, which is neither good, nor bad.
@@11235but sounds more like a projection buddy
@@KneeCaps If that weren't the case, the level most people are on wouldn't be called average.
@@KneeCaps rent is due post the video
I think women are tired of being stuck in the role of being the only parent. If I was a man, I’d want kids. As a woman, I don’t. The expectations are way too high and simply impossible if you want to actually be your own person still. Men can, but women can’t :(.
I don't see how having kids would prevent you from being your own person or give you too high expectations. Expectations for what exactly? You still want a meaningless man made slave career instead of raising a family? Will that really matter when you look back at it at the end of your life?
@@gj3514 because being a mum is a full-time job in our society. You can’t be anything but perfect. For example, If you get your kids take-out as a mum, you’re lazy, as a dad, you’re fun.
Your question is a bit condescending, but let me break it down for you. Either I work for a boss, who gives me money or I work for a man, who just gives me more tasks and stress. HE gets a family, I get never ending complaints and whining.
@@gj3514 I take it you’re a stay at home parent in that case? Idk in what countries that is still possible these days but I definitely wouldn’t recommend to anyone.
Yeah, going through pregnancy and child-birth is more dangerous, and at the very least strenuous on a woman's body than the majority of people realise. Then there's the fact that studies have shown, that even in dual income households a woman does on average I believe it was 4 more hours of housework per week than the husband, even when both work the same amount of hours. Add to that the fact that women are usually the one's to plan family affairs and kids' doctors visits and what not. Who would want to take on a second, unpaid job basically while your husband lnly works 1?
Everyday I am thankful for me being able to own my own bank account nowadays as a woman and having my own choice in reproduction (very thankful to live in Europe)
@@lynn9265 Exactly! You get it. Often times you can even be cleaning up after your husband as well… I wouldn’t want that kind of life for myself.
I was born and raised in Korea and studied abroad since middle school years, going to different countries on my own.
Couldn't agree more, mostly the perception of how to live a life is not really set up by the individual's judgment but rather by constant input from others. And the constant comparison with others who are well off. Someone being a successful CEO or a professional in some field I'm not interested in is not the way I may succeed, because I'm not the same person. Also I may not want to be a doctor, lawyer, or a professor.
I wanted to be an illustrator, doing something like concept arts in video games, or some sort of field that I could be creative in an art form. The incessant input from my family and relatives was nothing but "oh you can't make a lot of money being an artist" without even looking at my pieces. I also got accepted to multiple art universities in america, and also to a uni I wanted to go to. But my parents did not let me, and I ended up majoring in economics. Now I'm just studying how to code and doing data analytics, while working as an analyst. Despite currently living in the states, the constant pressure from your people doesn't stop. I wish I were more adamant on saying what I wanted to do but I guess when I was a bit younger I wanted to make my parents happy. Now I regret being so subservient to their aspirations when it should've been my life.
Never too late you could still pursue art
@@dorisstories2411 exactly what I'm doing, gonna start small with something like an instagram page with my old pieces and draw more new things. Just a lot on my plate rn cuz I work, do phD stuff and do python
You can sell your art work online and set a price and make money that way. It’s like a side hustle until you’re making money to live off on. But at the moment you need that analyst job for income and save,save as much as you can.
"oh you can't make a lot of money being an artist" wrong, +18 specific art makes ppl pretty rich lol 😉
while i was studying abroad in korea i worked at the uni to prepare korean kids to study abroad. one of the things we did was to have a bit of a back and forth about a topic and having a kid was a topic. pretty much all the kids talked about the birth rates and pretty much all the girls said they don’t want kids and they don’t really care. they talked about how having kids is a risk to their job, there isn’t a good support system to raise kids, and of course some of them just didn’t want to be a mom (super valid). all but one of the guys i had this conversation with said people should have kids bc birthrate, economy, and reasons other than the woman wants them.
i’m not korean so of course my words hold a lot less value but if an outsiders prospect helps a little; i think korean men should consider the women’s perspective when they wonder why the birthrate is so low (along with other things ofc).
South Korean women are just incredibly selfish and don’t even know how to take care of themselves elf themselves let alone a child
4B!!!!
As a person from India, I understand what you're saying.
In my state, few days ago we lost a chartered accountant named Anna due to work pressure. It was a heart attack. Anna was 26.
Like your country, the pressure on younger generation to compete and do jobs that make you overwork is really taking a toll on my generation: gen z. This is all very relatable to us.
Thank you so much for your much valuable thoughts! 💫✨
Finding channels like yours is what I find the most fulfilling about the social media!!!
Thank you!!!
So sorry to hear that!
The Indian diet makes people skinny-fat diabetics.
I know. None of her office mems even attended her funeral. And we have old corporate people saying we should work 12-14 hours and pay is like 3L a year. Basically just slavery.
This is spot on. I've said this before, the birthrate is directly tied to the perceived difficulty of the expectations for the acceptable standard of living.
Korea currently has way too high standards for raising children. Education, Hygiene, Social Etiquette, everything is way too snobby.
Korea also has a rigid system that makes it unattainable and unsexy to achieve the high standard set by society. Very few people actually want to work for Samsung, most just want the pay, prestige, and privelege that comes with working for Samsung.
I have more to say but my lunch break is over lol. Great video
Good point about the working in Samsung example. Yes, many of them love that prestigious title, like you said.
Hope the lunch was good 👍 😌
Zero respect given to the act of parenting
It’s mostly about respect. Used to come along with producing a large family
Prestige is a fools prize
@@ekanata almost every human alive is that type of fool
My friends and me often talk about this topic, we're all around the age of 24 so we get asked the question "do you want kids" more often now. The general consesus is that we do want children but we want to earn enough money so that we can give the care the child deserves, without forsaking ourselves. Even though we live in a country (Belgium) where we get a lot of social benefits, it just does not seem enough. Renting/buying properties are getting more and more expensive (and it does not seem to stop) while the wages are staying the same, is very demotivating (and let's not talk about the way work culture is constructed).
People also want to work on their mental health more so that they don't transfer their generational trauma to their kids.
Apart from that, there's so much to explore in this world, I feel like my generation wants to experience more things before settling down and starting a family. And maybe from those experiences then decide where in the world they prefer to live? (It's just an extra thought that came to mind, if you have a child you can still move abroad but it just makes it more difficult).
Also I dont know how dating culture is in South Korea, but here more and more young people are single. My personal opinion about it is that dating apps like tinder just present you with too many choices, so you have the feeling that you can always 'get someone better', at the same time it kills the more 'traditional' way of dating, by meeting someone at a random place and having the courage to talk to them if you find them interesting. (there's obviously more to it but I'm just going to leave it at that because my thoughts are going all over the place lmao, dating just feels more difficult, and thus leading to less people having children because they dont find a suitable partner).
I can go on tbh it's a very interesting topic to me but Im going to leave it at that, thank you for showing us your thoughts about it and how it is perceived in your culture! :)
+ child birth just seems sooooo painful, its just not appealing
Thanks for your perspective ! its interesting that all around the world, this issue seems to exist with a similar shape. I agree about the more to explore part because I also feel like when you are just dating, you can still explore and have a lot of fun around the world, but when you have a baby, its like you get stuck since the baby needs care. We still want to live and have fun more like a teenagers but our biological age says its time to have a baby, which is conflicting.
Also, the dating app and knowing lot more options, there is a thing called 37% rule. To get the best possible partner while saving time, its a mathmatical proof that you need to date 37% of the candidates and choose the best from before. So that means, the more candidate you feel like it exists, the longer it takes you feel like you found "the one" cuz you feel like there are a lot of candidates and you dont feel like you have met 37% of them.
Childbirth you'll forget/amnesia, but the chances of dying or a c-section are a small risk, id say, but I'm male, so...
@@fjemke when you hold your child in your arms you'll forget all the pain you went through for sure
@@SunwuChoiThat thing about the 37% rule is really interesting, thanks for sharing that
South Korean American. Been pressured a lot to be the top of my class and Cs are not allowed. Been beaten a lot by wooden spoons whenever I acted up and had been a Gifted Kid growing up. Now I am 35,never married and childless and work at a Gas Station with my Social Security being cut and life is just an endless struggle for no payoff. I wanted to draw and work on art for a living and my parents were the first to shoot it down. They also did the same with me whenever I have my hobbies. All I am left with is a lot of resentment and anger and a wish to have never been born. I hate my heritage and my childhood and don't want to force a child into this world to sate my ego. All that added with me being eldest of 3 has made me feel empty. It seems that even living in the US has not done me favors and honestly I may have end up taking my own life in Korea for better or worse.
Well don’t do that. You are seen and loved. This world is impossible and NONE of us asked to be here. At least some of us are wiser than our parents and aren’t needing additional cogs in the machine, additional sufferers into this hellscape. We’ve lost sense of community. We’ve really lost our way period. This is what happens when corporations are allowed to become these Goliath’s and remain unchecked for decades. Please don’t take your life. You’re already mid-30s so halfway-ish go your grave anyway…. That’s how I see it as I too am 30 lol
Just don’t be sexually irresponsible. Try finding joy in simple things like books, meditation podcasts, and most importantly: nature walks. If there is a god (tough to believe with how shitty this place is for so many of us) then I believe he is nature, and nature is he. I feel so at peace on my daily nature walks. 💜 much love. You’re not alone. Many of us feel the same. Forward motion.
The only countries with high birthrates are economically and educationally disadvantaged.
Because the most economically and educationally advantaged societies have so many other problems! Hard to focus on family when you can’t survive due to how your societal issues.. I never thought there was so many issues than when I came back to USA from traveling third world countries. Every issue is on full display, and talked about but nothing changes. In 3rd world, people don’t talk they focus on what they can do id say
They have high birthrates because of less education 😅 the don't know anything about birth control or family planning. Their kids suffer the way they are suffering
@larrysmith2655 They also don't have access to contraceptives, adequate sex education, or, in some cases, any education at all. If, in developed countries, housing prices and general day to day living expenses were somehow kept at reasonable rates, you would find only a very slight rise in live births. The more educated the person, the less likely they are to have multiple children. And barring religious practices, this holds true for wealthy people in developing countries also.
a lot of them have high rates of child mortality too.
Israel is the only country that achieves both things. Israel is economically developed AND has a high birth rate.
I don't know you, but man... you seem like a very friendly and approachable guy :D I just thought for a second...if we met in school as new classmates, I think I'd definitely approach you :D Good video and interesting take on this topic!!
I just really like that you sat down and talked what you were actually thinking at that moment. It's so authentic
Wtf
@@TheManTheChef ?
Wtf @@kaede_yuna
I think you covered the competitiveness and high social pressure that society and parents place on kids pretty well. It's rare to find people who think this profoundly on topics like this one.
I lived in Korea for half a year and have friends there and I must say that now I understand what they meaning with 'Hell Joseon'. Hearing from my korean friends about how their whole life is about building success. Everything from hagwon, extracurricular classes in stuff they were never interested in as you mentioned, being top of the class and getting high score in the Suneung to get higher chances to enter a SKY university, getting a job a one of the top 5 Samsung, SK, Hyundai, LG and POSCO. Because if you dont build that success you are considered a nobody, not just by society standards but by your family and friends. The materialism and fakeness in relationships too. One of my friends described having friends in Korea has a play everyone has roles in and one can never really be oneself and one always has to compare against the others to make sure one fits in always. That is too much on a human being. Korea's history wasnt an easy one, they put a lot of work on surviving time and time again which I find so incredibly admirable and brave. But I really hope people like you, the young generation, pushes to change this mentality of success > humanity because is really robbing South Korea of a possible and sustainable future.
We are humans, not projects nor products. Our feelings, our fears, our dreams and hopes is what makes us worthy, not how many figures we make nor how many LV bags we have or if we got a degree from here and not there.
Btw, the cicada sound on the background brought me memories of walking in Yeuido Park 🥹
Finnish person here! I think why the birth rate is lower every year here as well is a bit different to Korea in the sense that having a child, whilst an expense, is not as expensive. But here a lot of people now view it as a choice, and many now willingly choose not to have kids to keep their personal freedom and obviously save money in the process (probably the same in other countries as well). Having kids used to be something most people did, but now people put thought into it and it seems like the question is "do I actually want to have kids" first before there is the expectation that you'll have kids of your own. Interestingly, I also think a big part of this is how people pair up. Fifty years ago it was normal to date a while and then get married but nowadays people find it harder to find a partner as we're all looking for love and not only a match to build a family with. Here in Finland there is actually a big problem of men in their 40s who are unwillingly childless. The dynamic of dating has changed so drastically in the time of the internet and many people spending way more time in their own homes compared to before. And I really think soon we won't be talking about a declining birth rate but a stable, low one.
Finland's birth rate started declining after the 2008 financial crisis (as did USA's and many other countries' birth rates), and it really started crashing after 2014, when the EU started its trade war against Russia, which affected Finland significantly. I don't want to dismiss cultural factors completely, but economic issues seem like the main underlying cause here.
You will be replaced by cultures who don’t share your covert suicidality.
@@hyhhyyup, but tackling the economic issues is a can of worms no one wants to open.
Because it means talking about wealth repartition, end of capitalism etc...
Easier to just pin it on culture and "young ones not caring", or "damn feminists" and keep things going as usual 😅
@@hyhhy Our birthrate went below replacement rate 55 years ago. It all started with the pill and the s"xual revolution which changed the mating culture. You can see changing attitudes over generations in the over generational study FINS"X. Women's behavior has changed completely, but they won't admit it.
@@etienne8110 Anything is always an excuse for a non-productive person to ask for more power and resources. The poor countries have higher birth rates, so it's not about having resources. It's all about the culture and the materialist philosophies that are self-centered, instead of transcendental. That's why we have a mental health crisis too. People are missing that higher purpose, and you can't fix that with hedonistic nihilism and money.
I'm 35 now, but I knew at the age of 5 that I'll never want to have kids. For me, it's a default, I never understood why people wanted to birth children. I was made to feel like such a freak growing up. It's actually nice that nowadays it's becoming more and more common to be childfree/childless.
I'm Korean and have lived in both the U.S. and Korea. To be honest, in Korea, people often expect things to be done quickly, and there's a belief that working long hours leads to productivity. Not everyone thinks this way, but the majority see it as normal. I believe one of the issues contributing to this is the practice of the comprehensive wage system in many companies. The problem with this system is that companies claim everything is included in the wage, which means they don’t pay for overtime. And it's almost normalized to make works work overtime. I hate this system personally and do not want to work in a office.
How do you even come to the conclusion that overwork is related somehow to not having children? You just need to have sex once and you have a child no matter what you do later. Those conversations about birthrates shows that people just complain about whatever they want instead of just saying that they don't want children at all
@@Restrocket Lol you obviously dont know what youre talking about.
Everything affects the birthrate, including your job.
Nobody wants to have a child when they are forced to work 60 hours week. You would have no time to raise the child, no time to help your partner, no time to bond with your child, when you get off work all you want to do is sleep.
This doesnt even account for the mental pressure of working long hours. Depression, stress, anxiety, etc all contribute to not wanting a child.
Also why would you want a child if you know that when the child will grow up, they will have to work their whole life and be depressed.
@@Restrocket - In the old days when people still had families, the FATHER would work 12+ hours a day. The mother didn't. Mothers were not in offices that would grind them down and expect 60+ hour workweeks that left them with zero time to raise children.
@@spoookyspencer - Every single one of those pro-natalist tards ignores the fact that it was FATHERS that worked insane hours. Not the mom. The mom actually had time to be at home, cook, clean, raise children, while the dad would come home dead tired from a long shift and the sight of smiling children, combined with the smell of a nice dinner, would tell him it was all worth it.
Birth rate is going down everywhere in the industrialized world. And the reason is pretty much the same. Chasing career and material things which puts off child birth beyond prime years.
read my comment. its immoral to have kids.
Thank you for this video! I feel like the majority of people miss the point as to why birth rates are going down and I think you hit the nail right on the head. Things like housing, high cost of living, and healthcare/childcare costs certainly don’t help the situation but they aren’t the main reason to me. You’re spot on when you say it’s a toxic and competitive environment where people constantly compare themselves to others and feel unworthy in this world. I believe there have been studies showing that there is a correlation between high social media usage and lower birth rates. I also appreciate your hopeful take as to what could fix our broken societies. Consider me a fan and you got yourself a new subscriber. 😊
I feel the same way. I’m not Asian btw. But my childhood felt the same except it was teachers. I was one of the only black students in a white college prep school and I felt pressured to be better than my peers. I remember having straight A’s and being told that still wasn’t good enough. I was average. I got laughed at when I said I wanted to change my career choice from a doctor to a video game developer. I was in band, I was in robotics club, I worked 2 jobs all while in high school. I ended up getting a full scholarship to college. It wasn’t the best college but it was good. I graduated with a bachelor’s in computer science, certification in cybersecurity, minors in Japanese and Chinese. I work for the government as a software engineer in aviation. But I still don’t feel good enough in life. I feel like a failure everyday. I watch my peers getting their PhD in medicine or becoming doctors and see my old teachers still talking to them a congratulating them, while I get silence on my graduation pictures. I feel like I failed because I changed my mind from becoming a doctor. Antidepressants helped for a while, but I started gaining weight and felt like a failure again. I hope to be healed up this pain one day, but I don’t know who to talk to about it.
It is sad to hear that but you are not a failure. You are very good and working hard person. Do not compare you to anyone. Love yourself !
@@thinhucamcao6302 Thank you! I’m trying to compare myself to others less and less. This means using social media less which has helped significantly.
Hm....ever tried attending the organized social, hobby, and activity groups on Meetup? Or volunteering?
I've been into a hiking/backpacking group and casual music improv group during months and seasons when I'm not as busy. Also two years ago I moved back to where I grew up where most of my family and close friends are and that's helped too.
The moving back makes sense by how formerly practicing MIT-trained neurosurgeon Dr. Goobie anecdotally observes from the minority, but very apparent percentage of patients he encountered who either saw their chronic nerve pain fade away between scheduling surgery and the scheduled operation date had a low-salt diet, were active outdoors, and had a robust & supportive network of friends, family, and confidants.
I guess this could be lumped -in with the general and vague term of "preventative medicine", but the goal is promoting the body to halt the progression or even heal itself of chronic pain and developing symptoms of cardiovascular diseases and disorders of all kinds.
Towards the end of his account he says that it gradually wore on him that the American healthcare system hinges on keeping up revenues through giving treatments, but does barely anything to help patients get better in fundamental ways to the point of not needing to depend long-term let alone initially on the care of a doctors and treatments.
Dr. Goobie's channel is awesome! Totally recommend checking him out.
@@handlemonium Yes! I’m going to a same event this Sunday with some people. And to a Ballet and Japanese Bunraku show next week. I’m trying to get into sewing and possibly ballet to meet some new people.
idk why but the sim part made me laugh a lot lol.
Tried to make the video less serious u know XD
And it made so much sense too 😭
In the countryside, children are social security.
In the cities, children are super expensive furniture.
And 90% of humanity is living in cities...
@@etienne8110 Yeah, so move out of the city. Cheap real estate is plenty.
@@edheldude ok, troll 🤡
@@etienne8110 I'm serious. Housing prices are 1/5th or less.
@@etienne8110 What's wrong with that?
Great video. I thought this was a viral video because of how insightful it was.
Viral videos are insightfull?
I think smaller communities are the best places to raise children. A town small enough where your family knows everyone and everyone knows your family. In such an environment, all the responsibilities of raising a child will not fall solely on two people. It can be distributed throughout the community.
Seems that Japan and South Korea are each lacking in these types of environments.
You can create these with other people.
To some extent, although from what I see small towns in Japan are actually making huge efforts towards doing exactly this (attracting young families, providing free daycare and transport for kids if parents are working etc)
@@jdg9999 - This is just papering over the real problem where "almost all of the good jobs are in major cities that are not suitable for raising a family."
@@arthurwintersight7868 True. But villages can't deal with that, there needs to be a major mission by national government and business, and improvements in technology and social organization (work from home possibly becoming a mandatory option, better tele commuting tech etc)
I can't work 10 hours a day to have a kid who'd need to work 12 hours a day, for my grandson to need anti-sleep augmentation surgery to work.
East asia too competitive in general. I'm chinese and i know it. While in my country, the irony is, many rich household (south east asia) just only had 2 child (most common in big city) or 1 (capital city), while the poor living in the suburb or village had 3/4 child while also having many debts (usually rely to single sibling who hasnt married yet, and gaslight them 'u havent married yet, can i borrow your money?')
The rich (or middle class) produce good and great kids, the poor one continue to the cycle of structural poverty and making more babies.....sigh
Depends on the city though
Like if you mean Tokyo , Shanghai, Seoul
Than ye But if you want something more laid back I recommend Osaka , Chengdu.
16:44 "The grass is always greener on the other side..."
Something that I think about every once in a while. And as you said especially with Social Media.
Also...
Not going to lie, the main thing that your talked about in this video "dignity". It has made me think about my life and society as a whole and made me realise that a lot of people are losing that day by day. I remember nearing my finals in Secondary School I felt very low at that time, even losing the smile I once had everyday.
But after overcoming some challenging parts of my life (+ covid period). I realise that there is so much for me to go and learn and experience and to find something that I am passionate about and that will fulfil me int the end. (+ live a good lifestyle.)
Thank you for making this video, very insightful.
P.S. Sorry if I sound all over the place with my comment. Had something constructive to say at first, but sadly forgot afterwards. 😅
I feel your emotions through the comment and the sentences. Im also really sad to see my friends only talking about how to make more money or just the media talking about how the house price is gonna go down or up.
We really need time to learn about ourselves and focus on what we really want in life. And this take time, a long time.
I always get so happy to read comments like yours. That my talking gave inspiration, motivation, hope, or even joy. Hope you also fill your life with your dignity and protect yourself from the harse comparisons 👍
Oh how I longed to find someone with a beautiful view on life that is not superficial and that differs from many,boy, you have a lot of wisdom, you value dignity and understand that happiness is in the smallest details, in love, which is essential and that distinguishes us and defines who we are and about values and principles 👏🏻🇰🇷
I do agree that pushing activities that the child doesn't want is not really ideal, but with sports its my opinion to look for a sport that the child actually wants to do and to stimulate them. Partly for their health and also mental health.
But if a child gets like really depressed or really gets unhappy doing sports then its fine not pushing sports.
yeah I think whats important is the parent to give them enough time and opportunity to let them try different stuff and find what they like. Not fulfilling their dreams through their child
but sports is important since its related to physical health, so maybe its extra important to help the child find the sport they like
@@SunwuChoi i agree 👍
Children are lifelong commitment. It's better to not have them when you aren't ready or don't want it. Grass is always greener on the other side.
It's better not to think of them as optional at all, clearly. Because countries can't exist without *PEOPLE.*
Thats most developed country’s POV, hence the decline. Not to mention men and women take much longer to mature
You’re assuming that past generations were fully ready to have kids. Yes financially they were better set up, but mentally everyone dives in head first and figures it out along the way.
If we wait for everyone to be “ready” we’d go extinct.
@@HistoryNerd8765if countries value people having kids, time to make it affordable and rewarding.
@@HistoryNerd8765 a country is for the people, not the other way around
As a German who grew up with LOTS of philosopers I am happy knowing that I grew up in a society where below average is okay when you enjoy it. When it comes to academics I'm glad that while school is stressful and hard, but even if you're average you'll manage to find people who think you're amazing for your personality, your passion or other things. I'm grateful knowing I wasn't born in a competitive environment, but I hope it gets better for koreans or that they recognise that it'll get worse and worse if they keep pushing it 🫂
Great comment ! As I mentioned in the video, I learned the concept of dignity from a german book ! Im very into german philosophers so maybe Ill talk more about them in the future videos. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Well said!
@@SunwuChoi That's awesome, I love the whole topic and mentioned it for that reason, haha. Your commentary on the situation was really interesting
Yes and your demographic situation is even worse than RoK. 🤦♀️
Same here in NZ still the top grades and academics and firms etc but passing is totally fine in most fields, the saying “C’s get degrees” I had to get more than that for law but yeah hahaa
It's the housing costs because houses became an investment, not a place to live
McWilliams (a renowned psychologist and psychoanalyst) described Eastern societies as exemplary of a community with strong obsessive traits where standards for all are high, but achievements are not celebrated but accepted as part of something "you should do". It's pretty depressing seeing such competitive dynamics that is not allowed or common to just live the way you want and doing it so you can honor your ancestors.
As a Korean-American with all my extended family in Seoul, I've learned and seen much about how Korean society runs, including the more lowkey things that don't get heard outside of Korean-Korean circles.
Sunwu highlights the main problem of how Korean society embodies elitism in all regards of life, including height, top 17% being considered an average grade, and overemphasizing the importance of career. I agree and would add that this issue is a core cause for many of Korea's problems. I would like to add more details on why elitism specifically is hurting Korea's birth rate opposed to other countries, which although they have declining birth rates, do not close to Korea's detrimental birth rates.
1. Opposed to the 60's to 80's, having a successful career nowadays is prioritized more. Therefore, the perceived benefit of having children is lowered as having children will take time and money, setting their careers back while others are able to surpass them.
2. The perceived cost of having children is very high. Not only do kids need food and shelter, but now, sending kids to expensive tutoring classes is a requirement, starting at a very young age. While most students in America do not get hours of tutoring out of school, quite literally every student takes out-of-school tutoring for hours every day. In fact, public school teachers expect their students to get this tutoring to keep up with the class which is ridiculous. Only content covered in class should be expected.
3. The young adults in Korea have many complaints about the current economy and government. They feel like they can barely make a living themselves with the spike in housing costs and the difficulty of getting a sustainable, well-paying job without going to a SKY university. If they can't sustain themselves, why would they think bringing a newborn would make things any better?
I could get more into Korean society and with potential solutions, but overall, it would take a huge change in mindset to escape the elitist and materialistic society Korea is today.
I think this isn't just a Korean issue-it's global. Countries like Japan, China, Taiwan, and Singapore face the same challenges. With rising costs, many can't even afford a house in Korea, let alone the US. If people can't cover their own expenses, having children becomes even harder. I really appreciate your thoughts on society. While I don't know much about Seoul, I understand it's hyper-competitive, focused on status, wealth, and appearance. It's similar to the Bay Area, where people make tons of money but still struggle. I often hear about Seoul's high suicide rates, and it's worth noting that some schools here in the Bay, like Gunn, have faced similar issues. Sadly, the problem seems ingrained in society and isn't likely to change, even in places like Thailand, where life is more laid-back but fertility rates are still low. Ultimately, it's all about money.
Your comment is absolutely correct. This declining fertility rate is so complex that its just so hard to even figure out what the problem is. It might be the inequality in wealth, it might be people being too smart and just being aware of themselves too much, it might be the social media comparison affecting self esteem, its like earth had a long run and realized the earbuds are so tangled inside the pocket.
Extremely materialistic view on life. This is why you will never know the truth even if i told you. You are NPC automaton
Living costs are definitely not the reason why fertility rates are going down. All the countries in Africa have undeniably equivalent or worse living standards to most of these eastern countries.
The truth is that its just a biproduct of modern society, there is more access to contraceptives and people are generally more educated. When you grow old you can just move to a retirement home and live off your 401k.
@@really7046 Contraceptives and education might be part of it, but cost of living absolutely impacts fertility rates in developed countries. Comparing Africa doesn't work here because their high birth rates come from lower education and fewer options. In places like Korea, Japan, and the Bay Area, people aren't having kids because they can't afford to. Housing, healthcare, and education are huge financial burdens. It's not just about access to birth control-money is a big reason people are choosing not to have children.
@@Dracomies through history of any of those countries people were always poor yet had no issues with fertility. As i said you wont get it.
It's so cool that you recommended a German book! "Würde" is actually the first word of the first sentence in Germany's consitution!
"Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar." = "The dignity of a human is untouchable."
Thanks to you I remember how cool this sentence is and with your thoughts it gives new meaning to it! But I think the meaning of Würde and dignity is not the same.
So your ideas are:
1. Koreans seek Perfection. (I'd say most people do, and it often keeps us back from trying new things and pursuing our passions)
2. People have low self-esteem / higher standards than the average. I can 100% see how this would make people afraid to take big steps and make important progress in their lives.
3. Koreans put work and Productivity above Passion (and individuality) - again this feels like a global first world issue to me, but it could be more prevalent in advanced highly structured societies like Japan and Korea
very good points! Here's a few of my own thoughts:
1. Having a child is definitely not productive in the short term (18+ years) and people are not good at thinking long term since we exist in the short term. Having a 10 year plan might sound good and productive but it is also gonna be depressing focusing on only yourself and your "Perfection" for 10 friggin years - or an impossible goal.... at least that's how I feel
2. People should all try to be more relaxed, and parents should let their kids pursue their passions and make their own choices, because if we are not given the freedom to be ourselves it's gonna be extremely hard to have confidence in who we are and make real lasting relationships.
3. We all make mistakes. We need to feel safe making mistakes, we need to be supported! Otherwise learning new skills and making difficult decisions becomes very hard and undesirable, and most people will avoid taking such risks.
Mistakes for sure. For one I allow myself to try and fail at anything a few times before deciding whether to move on or whether it's worth it to stick it out and suck at something until I'm competent to a satisfactory degree.
We are all turning into robots. But East Asians are definitely the most robotic
I’m having a baby in a couple months and really appreciate this insight. Thank you for sharing ❤
What you talked about parents wanting a "perfect child" and pressuring them to achieve this above average standard, that reminded me of Attack on Titan, when Carla (Eren's mom) says this: "Is it wrong to not be special? I don't think that way. Not when it comes to my son. It's ok if he's never great. He doesn't have to be better than anyone. After all, just look at him, he's so cute! Besides, he is *already* special. *Because he was born into this world!* "
If only more parents (especially asian parents from what I've seen) could share a little bit of Carla Jaeger's wisdom. The way she embraces him with such unconditional love is so precious. I still remember how that speech made me tear up.
Ohhh right, I remember that quote too!!! Thats actually a wonderful quote, and I loved how attack on titan showed how non titan army also showed value. Also the part where the kids are competing to become a titan warrior reminds me of Zhang Zhou tree story where a straight good looking tree gets chopped first for wood, but a wiggly weird tree wasnt chopped cuz it didnt had any value. The kids in attack on titan who were competing for titan warriors are like this, the better you are, the earlier you die since you become a titan. Thanks for the comment !
What a thoughtful video, thank you for releasing it. May your days be filled with that which you love.
Love the vid! I like these discussions it's like siting with your homies and keep talking until everyone's tired. In my college life I have lived with many peoples, some of them were even working in a company, after coming from work they get really really tired, they just eat their dinner, watch something on their phones and sleep, and the cycle continues. I still a college student so I have luxury of having some energy to walk after dinner and I think many things like plans about future, what should I have done back then, things that I could add to my projects. People don't aimlessly wander and think about nothing anymore, people are losing their connections with themselves. How are people suppose to think if they don't get enough energy and time for themselves. We have lost the spectacle of Milky Way that enshrined humanity for millennias, now I don't want to lose luxury of thinking nothing. Many great literatures were made because they let their mind wander freely...
In Sweden we instead have that "we won't force you, but you SHOULD want to", so you feel like an asshole if you don't want to. You should want to study, you should want to visit your grandparents, you should want to exercise, etc.
Learning to be a man is to recognize everyone will try to convince to do what they say. Becoming a man is doing what u want
@@sadhu7191 Men have nothing to do with it
Isn’t more like ”if you dont do those things, then you will fail in society and do worse for yourself”. Atleast that is what my mom always told me, to be fair the free education system in sweden is grade based, so I kind of agree with that point because there are some things that I regret in school that I could have done better.
I sounds like Slavoj Zizek.
As someone in my 40s. I actually agree with Swedish society. You cant force people to do things that would be wrong, but some things do matter and its ok to say they are. It's not just doing what makes us happy all the time. Well sure happiness is important but its not just being selfish, we have to consider others and how we impact them. Your grandparents will all be gone sooner or later, the older the you get the more important it is to take care of your body, you should care about how your lifestyle affects the planet etc. Its not about being perfect but you only get one life and it gets shorter every year. I think a lot of the issue with kids is the way too high expectations that are put on parents. I see it with some of my friends like there is so much judgement for being relaxed but thats how we were raised and we're fine for the most part. It makes me scared for the kids too. We really need to get back to a place where doing your best is good enough like he says in the video. (obviously there is a minimum point where we need to make sure the childs needs are being met and parents are total pieces of shit but for the most part yeah good enough is ok)
we have a similar problem to the 1-9 scale in korea. In the netherlands 60% of students go to lower vocational school (MBO) and the government literally calls those students lowly educated. And we insult each other with it.
But are they lowly educated?
@@trueordrue I think its complicated, they don't learn algebra, biology, reading advanced poetry/texts, chemistry, and physics. Instead getting subjects like cooking , working ergonomically in the work space. We tend to say "they are smart with their hands" seriously and as insult. But because 60% end up going there its crazy to think about calling over half the pop uneducated.
@@crystalpuck1314So they are the work force basically. That's crazy calling the society's backbone demeaning words.
@@crystalpuck1314 If you're ever insulted for it, just reply with "It could be worse; I could have gone to university and ended up braindead instead of poorly educated"
Brilliant! I watch hundred of take on decreasing birth rate and this is one of the best !
So:
1. SK is has a very competitive culture
2. Enjoying life is not a priority
3. The childs happiness is not a priority because of the previous concerns...
My questions:
1. Do you want to have kids? Would you travel to another country and live outside SK? (Considering how the issue is global)
2. What is your opinion on the 4b movement? Do you see any changes coming from this in the future?
Thank you for sharing 🌻
Your points are correct and well summarized :)
I think I want to have kids, didn't thought about this that much yet, but if I get to marry and have a stable family, maybe yes
I am very careful when it comes to gender related topics, but I replied on another comment about that so maybe that would answer your curiosity.
My man, love from Mexico. Truth is we belong nowhere (you are welcome here) and we can only make ourselves happy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts honestly. PD your English is amazing.
This topics you talk about remind me really of the book capitalist realism by mark fisher. Your voice is really relaxing and your thoughts were really interesting especially the ideas about Zhang Zhou. Thank you very much
Hi Sunwu, the points you made were interesting and I mostly agree with your comments on the situation in Korea. Despite all the economic progress that Korea has today, and the fact that Koreans today are having the highest standard of living as compared to anytime in history, I believe the main issue is the need to be better than others.
Similar to Chinese culture (I’m Malaysian Chinese btw), we always complain that society judges us for how much materialistic (or as you put it, measurable wealth) we have, however on the same note we always judge others in the same way. This explains your concept of “inflated average”, as it is not that people are worried that they are not average. It’s the fact that they want to surpass the average person, to provide self-esteem to themselves.
One big side effect of this mentality is that it destroys relationships amongst friends and family. I personally lost my best friend of 14 years, due to him being a hypercompetitive person and his strong envy towards me for “getting a higher income” than him. I also grew up resentful of some close family members as I was often compared to them on my academics as well as other measurable traits.
Back to the topic of having kids, I think many parents (east-asian, hypercompetitive) will first think whether their kids would be better than other kids, or else what’s the point? I would may as well reserve my time and money on myself to enjoy materialistic goods which makes us “feel better” anyways.
Lastly, even those who “succeed” in the traditional sense either find themselves having lost their sense of self, or lost other important things in life by the time they reach the “peak”. I won’t say that I am very well off myself, but as a Malaysian (3rd world country) who works in a 1st world country, I can sense much envy from my peers which cause them to distant from me. I also am quite lonely in this new place, despite being able to afford vacations at whim. If it weren’t for being together with my wife, I might perhaps decide to leave in a few years. But I can say that genuine relationships bring me much more happiness than any amount of additional “material” goods.
I read your comment and I can relate to them too.
While we are entering an era where life expetancy is getting longer and more machines are doing work for us, we need to take more care about knowing who we are and realizing each of us are precious, not comparable like a grade A meat.
I love video essays where ppl just sit down and talk about a topic!
The richer a country gets, the more individualistic people become, and with more individualism you don't feel the need to have any connections with people. In previous centuries when people were a lot poorer and didn't have a government giving them handouts and freedoms for everything, they needed to band together and rely on each other in their community for protection and self-preservation. Marriage and children were a way to increase your social connections and status as well as a safety net in your old age when you're physically weak and even senile. But with so much wealth, pension schemes, nursing homes for the elderly, and the secular liberal system ensuring your rights and safety, people can now afford to live by themselves well into their 70's and 80's without the need of a family.
Love the video. I must say that this is one of the best nuanced views on this problem. It’s really refreshing 👏
this video will go viral, just wait…. Your thoughts need to be heard! Not just Korea, the entire world.😤
Thankyou,have a good day too !
Birthrate always comes down to LOOKS and women's society freedom
South Korean Women or more free than they have ever been
And the internet creates immense LOOKS competition
😂😂 South Korean women still are not free. I mean even a word of feminism makes men piss so bad that they cyber bullied a UA-camr to death bcz she talked about feminism once. Thats how bad they are. I mean recently they protested against bakery for allowing pregnant women before in line. That’s how much free Korean women are. Yes it’s better than the past. But women in SK suffer from lot of issues like crime rates against women are more and sadly, the Korean justice system doesn’t give proper justice. a child rap!st was released after shorter jail time and was allowed to live near the victim. That’s how much Korea cares about women. So in a way you are right, except that they do not want to marry or have children bcz of how men treat them.
No not really, it's men that have more freedom there.
For a young person you have a lot of wisdom. I really loved this take on human dignity ❤❤❤
You got the mom part right, but then you shied away from exploring that. Would like a video from you explaining the psychology and impact on society of the "Mom-Choong"
You made a great speech, and this should be shared around the world.
Dang bro hope you get bigger
youtube is usually about supressing truths and promoting agenda's but once in awhile things slip through. Hopefully this time tooo.
this video made me tear up thank you for making this ❤
Indonesia also facing birth rate decline, faster than what already predicted. At first Indonesian government calcultated that indonesian population will reach up to 420 million in 2080 before starting to decline (minus population growth) but, due to recent crisis and more expensive cost of life, indonesian population birth rate are facing decline faster than that. It is predicted that indonesian population will decrease sooner than 2060
Subscribed! You have a very calming and gentle aura. I appreciate your philosophy of life. We should all slow down to feed the ducks.
Modernity systemically disincentivizes having children. This is an existential threat to entitlement systems and the wider economy as a whole.
The analogy with the Sims is very insightful! 100 years ago most people were rural and if rural people needed help they just had another kid, now people tend to want to have their lives very optimised before having a child, whether that’s a lack of self-confidence or “prepping” for the career-hit a young child will bring.
Personally I don't want to get married and having kids is the last thing in my mind...
I just feel like I don't want to go through the emotional labour in this Patriarchal society where everything I do will be undermined.
Every time I go on the internet and see how men in my society talks about women in comments section of Sexual assault, domestic violence etc I just lose all my hope.
Currently I am planning my life around things I will do and connect with similar mind of people as much as I can because I don't want to be lonely after 10 years surrounded by married people.
You re right. Don't do it.❤❤❤❤
And no man wants to do it in the overbearing Matriarchal society they are forced to endure in the West.
Oof the low selfesteem and "not feeling good enough" part hit me hard. I always felt like I needed to get my life in order and fix my own issues without even knowing what that ment, before even considering the posibilty of being in a relationship. I just realized a couple of months ago how destructive this perspective is, as now I feel like all those years chasing some intangible concept of maturity had me missing out on so much experience that I'm in the exact same position all over again.
Great video! nice and chill vibes while you learn something new. i know we talk about this subject a lot during stream but it was nice to see it all formatted into one cohesive video.
What a great comment 👏 100 points to you
I think many parents see their child as an extension of themselves, which is why they want their child to be "perfect". Like what they couldn't do and achieve before when they were young, they will pressure their child to do and achieve it, just to satisfy themselves. It's sick because then when the child grows up and decide to have a family, they will do the same thing to their own child and the cycle continues. Or in another scenario, the child grows up and decide to not have family because they don't want their child to experience what they had to go through before and then down the birth rate goes.
Of course, there's a lot more factors playing into the decline of the birth rate all over the globe, like the economy, but I love how you touch on the philosophical aspect and the dignity part. Because declining birth rate is not the only issue in today's world, finding a job and just trying to make money in general have been hard these days. Companies exploiting their employees, toxic workplace environment, the excessive focus on profit making... It leaves people feeling drained at the end of the day. It's like you're just surviving each day, not really living your life. And when you have a hobby or skills in making something (like painting), you also feel the pressure to make money out of it because like you said, we just become some sort of tool.
Sorry for the long comment, it's just that what you talked about in this video just got me thinking about things. Great video.
13:08 The issue is not being perfectly fine human beings. The issue is security, stability, and predictability. If you have a six-figure income, you will not have as many unforeseen financial stressors as someone who earns significantly less. Long-term, that stress can negatively impact mental, emotional, and physical health, but it's easy to overcorrect with extreme workaholism and negative social comparisons. And yes, walking in nature and relaxing and doing nothing and simply existing are also crucial and necessary, not because we are human, but because we are alive and living beings on Earth need time to recover and replenish themselves and their reserves. That being said, walking in the park is not contributing to your emergency fund nor retirement savings, so you need to juggle both until you have enough investments to enjoy more leisure time without having to worry about bills and other expenses, like raising kids.
Thank you for opening a channel into South Korean experience for me. Enlightening. Wish the best for you.
Reminded me of many convos I had with a Korean colleague and friend when we were still at SKKU studying politics. Pretty much the same points he made and it completely changed my perspective on certain aspects of Korean society. He specialized in political philosophy and I'm guessing that's why you might have came to the same conclusions. lol Good to see that there's someone else out there thinking the same things. Maybe there will be a change one day...
Man I really loved this video but I think your point at 15:26 about low scores in math, is actually the problem all high income societies are having trouble reconciling: How do we hold our kids to high standards w/ out putting horrible pressure on them that kills their spirit and hope? On the one hand I disagree a bit: If my child failed a test I would emphasize this is not a good thing to do and I know they can do better……… but I also want to HEAVILY emphasize it is not the end of the world and we can always pick ourselves up. I think the problem in Korea (& the west) is that parents put this deep UNHELPFUL fear in their children after failing a test. They say "You failed a test? Well now you will never get into good university! which means bad income! Which means homelessness! Which means dying under a bridge!!!" And then the child, instead of learning that hard work is important and is bad to not study etc. gets paralyzed w/ fear that if they do not ace every single test ever their life will be painful and frightening. Which is obviously not true. For example: Due to circumstances in my own life it took me many more than 4 years to finish college. But in that time I developed deep I guess you would say? Street Skills? Now I manage a multi-million dollar commercial property on the west coast. Am I a "failure"? I finished college at 30 don' have a masters yet make 4x most of my peers who did both. I think the probem to sum it up is life is like a very mysterious wooded path you never know how it is going to go, and should work hard, but not be in a state of panic about status/money at every moment. And to many parents in he USA, Korea, Europe etc. Are panicking for their child from he moment they are born. Then those kids grow up and have no interest bringing a child into the stressful life they had. This is the problem we need to fix: Everyone must calm down and take it one step at a time.
Imma be so honest. When I play the sims I’m like “I could make this life for myself, my sim is perfect and has everything” but then I remember I straight up neglect my sims needs and she soils herself every 3 days because I’m overworking her.
Except in the sims, overworking yourself and depriving your needs gets you a lot of money. In real life, it doesn’t.
i like the point you brought up with liking useless things, I think that's very important. great video.
This man cooking.
Thank you for this message Sunwu. I needed to hear this today. Much love brotha.
I’m all for gender equality and believe that ultimately we should strive to achieve equality among all people no matter their gender, race, religion etc. But it’s an undeniable truth that there is just one gender that can birth a child. Female. A female has to carry her the child for 9 months, has to go through a painful process and a recovery after that. No matter how progressive the society, females who become mothers lose on the job market. And since progressive countries not only encourage women to pursue professional careers but actively push for that (all the girlboss stuff), many women will simply choose not to have children until they are over 30 or not at all. All women who want to be competitive face a simple truth - while they are taking their maternity leave, there is a man or non pregnant woman who isn’t. And I am not even sure that’s a bad thing. There are 8 billion of us, constantly draining the resources of our planet. Maybe we have reached our peak. One thing that is bad for sure is how are future generations going to feed all of us retirees. I think that sooner or later there will be 1 young person for 5 elderly. My solution to this - adopt. There are so many children born in neglect. If you are over 30, more or less settled in life and want a child but are on edge then at least think about it.
Adoption is only a bandaid fix. Even disregarding any potential societal problems this could bring if it’s done in mass, eventually the neglected baby pool will run out too.
The core of this problem is rooted in feminism. Women should not be encouraged to be professionals. They should be encouraged to be mothers. The workforce being 50% women is a problem. Not only for the sheer competitiveness, but everyone’s wages goes down from simple supply and demand.
Ultimately, as non progressive as it may sound, the solution is removing women from the work force in drastic numbers and society pushing the importance of the nuclear family.
We can also create a working culture where taking 1 year off won't permanently damage your work life. A man might need to take time of work for health (undergoing an operation) or caretaking responsibilities. It would be good for men as well if we turn the dial down on competitiveness so one accident to you or your loved ones doesn't crater your career.
Additionally, everything you said about pregnancy and infant care is true. But beyond that point fathers really could do so so so much more to help out with childcare. I would feel so much safer and supported knowing that I have a partner who will support me in returning to work and will be there in case of emergencies and I won't be essentially the only parent. That makes a world of a difference.
Maybe a society that is obsessed with doing pointless work to make someone else rich is part of the problem. Maybe shoving half the population that had always been homemakers into cubicles for no reason other than to enrich the already wealthy is part of the problem. It's not just the pressure on women to do pointless unsatisfying work for no real reason other than pay. Men still work themselves to the bone, once to provide for their families, now for nothing because they can get a family.
Still not women’s fault. Women have been catering and sacrificing their ambitions and dream for society since forever. It’s just now many women have choice and they are finally choosing what they want. Having children is not something women always preferred even in past. It’s just their opinions weren’t considered. If society wants women to give births, they need to create that environment where women shouldn’t have to sacrifice. Why is only expected to do parenting while men lose nothing? It’s not just work. Even working women end up doing 90% of parenting after child birth bcz society allowed men to get away.
@@piernikowyloodek Could try that but we kind of already have that in Poland.
It did affect child birth rate to a more positive number though didn't last long from what I remember because another year it got to the same numbers.
Though interestingly the child birth rate did plummet during the pandemic.
I am a fellow Simmer and you just got a subscriber!😂😂
16:26 There also needs to be a clear distinction, and associated compartmentalization, between self-worth and performance. What you get on a math score does not define you as a person, and on the same token, just because you are person with inherent worth and value does not mean that it is acceptable to get a failing grade on a math. Math is a required subject for graduation in most countries, and the material is cumulative. Doing poorly in math now has unpleasant ripple effects into the future, and the issue needs to be addressed with tact and compassion. Yes, the parent should be helping their kid find what they are passionate about AND they should be ensuring that their child is getting the adequate help they need to perform well in their required academic subjects, especially those that appear in high-stakes exams.
Sort of disagree...while I can understand the necessity of learning math, not everyone is good at it. We should be encouraged to find what we're individually good at and help the youth work towards their greatest potential. But instead we wanna place everyone in a box.
@@sandyg4646 Not being good at math does not justify failing. It means that extra support is needed to practice the skills being tested. Unless the student has such very severe learning disabilities that make learning that level of math completely impractical, accommodations need to be provided so that the student can still learn the material well enough for future math courses and tests.
While in an ideal scenario we would each pursue our natural strengths, at the present moment, most people in this reality who have access to formal education don't get a real choice in the matter. Companies and governments prop up paper ceilings requiring degrees from applicants, and many degree-granting institutions require certain math scores.
Until the system is changed globally, only a privileged few will be able to specialize in what they are individually good at from a very young age.
extremely thoughtful, everyone deserves to live in a more compassionate society especially those suffering from isolation. very well put stuff.
Korea is a classist culture. It’s important for woman to marry up, but korean woman are successful now so there are not enough male surgeons, directors, and CEO’s to go around. Add the antisocial asian culture of being glued to their phone and too heavily relying on dating apps. It just ends up with the top guys being players and the girls thinking they actually have a chance that he’ll commit.
A really chill video where a chill person just talks about stuff. Which is a rarity on youtube these days
A childless society is not just depressing but a threat to civilisation. I can only speak from myself but I think many foreigners care and are rooting for Korea to turn it around. Your country has a lot going for it! Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.
But for countries like India and China it will be a good thing where there is a lack of enough jobs. And it will not be depressing as you are expecting. Rather the countries will be happier overall. Less population means less competition, less competition means greater mental well-being.
@@AvikNayak_ no it won't be a good thing, all it will end up meaning is that less and less young people end up having to look up after more and more old people so they get more tired, have a higher tax burden and won't prosper because pension funds will collapse or they can't be built. The only way you can create jobs is by investing in the appropriate infrastructure to allow capital to flow in, something that will also be impacted by a lower birth rate because there will be less working people.
@@sho-m-er5194yeah that is true. People don’t realize how much of a disaster this will begin to be in the coming decades
No it means less competition which benefits people and not society
It seems I’ve inspired a debate, I’m no expert but to my mind @@sho-m-er5194 is right.
As an aside though, anyone see Children of Men? I know it’s just a movie but that’s how I imagine a child free society to look like. Pretty depressing
Amazing video. You are bang-on- competitiveness and the pressure to raise perfect children (which costs money) is putting people off. People would rather not have children than have imperfect children and face societal judgement. You are such a great speaker- looking forward to future content!
I think you made some good points, but I also think there are a lot of more reasons.
12:50-13:30 is some of the realest shit I've heard in a while, wonderfully said my friend.
174.4cm is 5ft 8in. For the Americans.
I love the idea you presented but I will add to it: When people see no love in their life, and their only goal is to earn money continuously forever and compete, Not only are they unconfident in themselves to support their child, but they also fear their children will fall into this same cycle
was recommended through my home page! great video, would love to listen to you talk more about stuff!
Bro, wish you luck, glad that you understood problems
I really appreciate hearing you talk on this! Hearing so many things I thought was very cathartic... If I may add onto this though, I also think the raging misogyny in Korean culture right now is also making it harder for any women to settle down with a man. The things I hear from my dad and people around him, the things I hear from young adults and even highschooler around me and on the internet...it makes my skin crawl...
it’s such a sad reality that what was once a common occurrence in the past is becoming an expensive, unrealistic, and troubling reality. in america, the medical system doesn’t care about you or your children, if you have no insurance, the mother/father has to work day and night to pay for it, then, many people can’t even afford to live comfortably considering the rise of inflation and housing. i’m so sorry that it’s like that in south korea. i’m not religious, but honestly, i’ll beg the universe if i have to for a better outcome for this world, especially our generation. :(
I think Korea is destined to go through a deep demographic winter. It will change Korean society for better or worse, but Korean society will certainly change because this situation is not sustainable.