So much on social media is sugar coated and just NOT real life, leaving me feeling inadequate and tired. Your honesty is refreshing and almost validating to my daily internal thoughts. As for Bristol, I grew up in a coastal town 10 miles away and it's an amazing city to have on my doorstop. Enough 'city' mixed with nearby amazing countryside and as you said more accessible. Great music scene too and always something to do.
This conversation was good company on the train mate. Super honest and insightful. I've relocated a couple of times in my life... If I'm honest I probably didn't make enough effort to integrate at times and it's clouded my judgement of an otherwise beautiful place. Got my eyes set in a move to Portugal later this year and will do things differently this time. Best of luck to you!
@@beachbuminasuit I lived in Lisbon in 2017 for a year and all I learned was saying hello and telling people I didn't want mushrooms in my food - they're way more keen to practice their English than they are to allow you to speak Portuguese ha. We're not sold yet... Either Portimao or near Praia de Luz...two very different options.
you are such a great human being - you live and you learn !! and im happy you got the chance to tick someplace else off your list. On to the next !!! mwah
This was incredibly validating ! I lived in mawgan porth for just over 6 months without a car and it was incredibly isolating which had its positives and negatives. I experienced the exact same situation with people being cliquey and flakey. I’m Canadian so I was really an outsider but was lucky enough to have my uncle as a local. I miss the air, nature, land and chillness of it all. I miss aspects of cornwall but I’m not sure if I’d spend another chunk of time there. This was from March 2022 so similar timing! Thank you for this
I really think that your videos have the ability to positively influence male mindsets on their ability to talk about their emotions. I think it’s admirable what you’re doing.
I grew up in Cornwall and everything you said is exactly how I felt growing up there. Super isolating, 0 infrastructure and horrendously bitchy with the small town mentality. I left at 18 and have only been back to visit friends. It’s super refreshing to hear someone else say everything I felt while living there, as so many people don’t realise the reality of living in a place like Cornwall. Thank you for posting this 🫶🏻
I think it comes from following the false positive narrative about these places. Everyone glamourises them but that really only shows 15% of the time there. It’s beautiful and will always hold a special place in my heart, but at the same time; I never felt that bad about myself than when I lived there.
@@beachbuminasuit absolutely, you hit the nail on the head there. I just hope you feel a bit more yourself and happier now that you are back in London!
This whole video echoes how I'm feeling about living in Devon at the moment. I lived in Bristol for 5 years and loved it but ultimately my work, and travel plans meant it made more sense to come back to Devon. It has felt near enough impossible to integrate myself into the place I grew up in because I left. I love having nature around me and don't miss how dirty Bristol can be, but so miss the sense of community I had there. I really do recommend moving to Bristol - even for a little bit, it's full of wonderful people. But do be aware that it has its own housing crisis too.
Nice vid! Would love to see one specific to London as well loads of issues here especially for those who find it hard to put themselves out there/FOMO of other Londoners.
I lived in Cornwall for 6 years- moved to Falmouth for uni and I was one of the ones who found it hard to leave, until a year after Covid. It’s a shame that you had a shit time, I also felt the isolation after people left when I moved to Newlyn. But in time the community grew around me and they were incredible, working locally helped massively too. Choosing to live somewhere so isolated in Cornwall clearly wasn’t the best, and maybe if you chose to be closer to the town hubs you would have enjoyed it more, places like Fal and Penzance have a great scene. Locals in the remote areas are more likely to be sceptical of “outsiders”. I hardly came across any “cliques” or “bitchy” locals, when I did they never cared where I came from, they cared if you cared for them and were aware of the socioeconomic issues there and if you were going to contribute to that, as so many people (not just from London) move to Cornwall without doing the proper research and expect it to be this romantic ideal, which it isn’t and move a couple years later. I have to disagree with your comment of “no one talks about people from the south west moving to London and impacting our housing crisis” as the situation in Cornwall is so much deeper than that. Jobs are shit verging on nonexistent, especially for young people, pay is terrible, Cornwall runs on a seasonal timeline so most jobs are only on a 6 month basis and your out of work the rest, Cornwall is unfortunately completely reliant on tourism and it’s caused massive poverty and infrastructure closing. And with infrastructure closing it makes it harder for people to meet each other. So I’m sorry it doesn’t compare. Cornwall is slowly becoming rife with ghost towns due to tourism and second home owners etc- Mousehole is a perfect example. On that note I have to say (and I really mean it from a kind place) but it just feels like you didn’t research Cornwall as well as you should of, you mention the seasonal timeline and how that seeps into relationships, that’s just Cornwall, and that’s what the reliance on tourism does to that place and second home owners kicking out locals and out buying them. Cornwall’s awful public transport is glaring on any google search. Also why did you opt for a 3 bed house? You mention locals finding it hard to find homes, but you were one of the ones that pushed a potential family out of the area? Anyway I will say give Bristol a go! I moved to Bristol after Cornwall and you’ll love it from the impression you give. Bristol is surrounded by green spaces (Cotswolds, Somerset). It’s an intimate city, with a great artist, music and events scene. Best of luck to you mate wish you the best!
There are lots of platitudes you keep hearing about Cornwall. There are plenty of jobs there that aren't tourism related. Tourism provides only 12% of Cornwall's GDP and 1 in 5 jobs. There's work in a full spectrum of fields from accountancy, media, admin, support work I could write endlessly but you can see what I mean. The constant mention of "no infrastructure" isn't true either. There are great bus routes all over. I knew someone who regularly travelled from one end to the other using buses alone because they didn't drive. They didn't have any problems. Why is it up to people coming into Cornwall to "contribute to the socio economic issues?" Everyone who's working pays taxes and that contributes to the society and we all spend money in the economy. There's no obligation to doing any more than that is there? It helps to be open minded and to want to understand other people's lives and upbringing definately. But you should be able to live rurally if you want to and not experience bitter, ignorant and downright unpleasant treatment. Speak as you find is my mantra and I have no time for people who behave like that - there are no excuses, it's just nasty. What does exist in Cornwall, quite frequently is the Peter Pan syndrome a couple of other commentators have mentioned. Which basically means immature adults who don't behave reasonably. They see someone with a different background to them and are silly enough to think that justifies being unkind. It's called bullying. There are some lovely people in Cornwall but also a good smattering of people who need to take a long look in the mirror and consider leaving their bubble to understand more about how the real world words. An example being understanding that other people working hard and earning money is not going to take anything from them. People can choose to live where they like and there is no entitlement to a particular area. I can no longer afford to live where I grew up. It's several hundreds of thousands for a 2 bed flat above a shop. How did I deal with that adult reality? I moved somewhere else that I could afford. I didn't spend the rest of my life complaining and spoiling the lives of the people who live in that flat. Unfortunately, because some of these views are widespread in Cornwall and other similar areas people give them credence and legs and so it perpetuates. The best way to make things better in your life is to focus on your life, your attitude and how you're making a difference or not. Not the people moving in next door, no matter where they come from.
I have never connected so much with a conversation about Cornwall than the content of this video. I moved to Cornwall around 7 years ago after living abroad as my husband’s family are from there and he grew up there. For the last 7 years I have felt a combination of isolation and suffocation. I have stayed because as a place for young children to grow up I think the access to nature is unparalleled. Now they are older I worry that they will not have as much exposure to the variety (cultural, diversity, language, food, arts, etc). My biggest concern has always been the ‘Peter pan’ mentality as you so aptly put it. I have always been highly ambitious and many times (not always) that was met with confusion and distain-why could I just be ‘satisfied’ with Cornwall. I felt like an outlier and an outsider.
I think it works both ways.... My son, born and bred in Cornwall lived in London for the 'year in industry' part of his degree course. He knew no one when he moved there and really tried hard to intergrate with his work colleagues. He joined a gym and local 5 aside footy team but wasnt really able to connect with anyone. He found it super isolating and was really lonely there as he said everyone already had their own lives and friend groups and after work people were just too busy with getting on with their own lives to bother about asking him to join them....also on the wage he wad getting paid, after rent and expenses he couldn't afford to enjoy any of the cultural aspects of the city..so really didnt benefit from the exciting opportunities that living in the Capital can bring. He also thinks Cornwall has too much of a 'small town ' mentaily and is looking to move to Bristol after his degree ...offering city amenities but with 'South West' vibes as he says. Wishing you all the luck with wherever you lay your hat.
Hit the nail on the head there Clare. I think it’s a cultural and societal issue everywhere about being more mindful of others. Bristol sounds like a shout for him as I said in the video, keen to try it myself.
Your video and some of the comments here have been really validating. We're not enjoying Cornwall either and have similar feelings of isolation and also suffocation. You start to feel at times that it's you, even when the other part of you knows it's not. There are some really aggressive nasty attitudes in Cornwall, worse than people might think. I've experienced different aspects of it in ranges of subtlety from tradespeople to school parents. We've also met some lovely people, but the amount of negative energy is just too much and life is too short. We're looking to find even more nature/wilderness and a bit more space from people with our next move, which will be to Scotland in the Highlands. Cornwall now feels crowded somehow. It's great to have a nearby village but one that's not so intense as some of the areas you can find in Cornwall. Many from Cornwall will hear testimony like ours and says "good riddance" because they don't like "emmets" but that's actually incredibly sad and not an indication of kindness or decency. A friend who's Cornish said that the term "emmet" is actually racist in nature and I think they're right there.
People forget that discrimination doesn’t discriminate. Treating anyone differently because of where they are from is totally wrong. You have to take people on a case by case basis. I have seen some awful holiday makers and awful locals. But to be blindly treated anyway is just wrong.
I moved to Pentire, Newquay with my ex the October before Covid hit, it was gorgeous and loved their way of life as in wanting to be in nature and not climb the corp ladder but my god did I feel out of place since I didn’t surf or skate, I definitely didn’t fit in to the cool laid back groups that were in the centre of Newquay. We did hit the jackpot with our property as this lovely couple needed someone to ‘house sit’ while they went to Bristol for 8 months so £850 for a 2 bed house in Pentire just a 5min walk to fistral, fully furnished and all bills included but that was luck of the draw - no chance of that these days. Happy to say I done it though, changed my goals and entire mindset ☺️
The mistake you made was not moving down far enough. Move to a sea side town and things would have been different. Nobody wants to travel up to Wadebridge.. its too close to Bodmin which is a shit hole. No one I know wants to move to London.. ha, that too is a Shit Hole.. 😂
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
So much on social media is sugar coated and just NOT real life, leaving me feeling inadequate and tired. Your honesty is refreshing and almost validating to my daily internal thoughts.
As for Bristol, I grew up in a coastal town 10 miles away and it's an amazing city to have on my doorstop. Enough 'city' mixed with nearby amazing countryside and as you said more accessible. Great music scene too and always something to do.
You know I always try and keep it real 🤝🏽
This conversation was good company on the train mate. Super honest and insightful. I've relocated a couple of times in my life... If I'm honest I probably didn't make enough effort to integrate at times and it's clouded my judgement of an otherwise beautiful place. Got my eyes set in a move to Portugal later this year and will do things differently this time. Best of luck to you!
I feel you mate. Where in Portugal you thinking? Best you learn the language too!
@@beachbuminasuit I lived in Lisbon in 2017 for a year and all I learned was saying hello and telling people I didn't want mushrooms in my food - they're way more keen to practice their English than they are to allow you to speak Portuguese ha. We're not sold yet... Either Portimao or near Praia de Luz...two very different options.
you are such a great human being - you live and you learn !! and im happy you got the chance to tick someplace else off your list. On to the next !!! mwah
Grateful we got to experience some time down there together too
This was incredibly validating ! I lived in mawgan porth for just over 6 months without a car and it was incredibly isolating which had its positives and negatives. I experienced the exact same situation with people being cliquey and flakey. I’m Canadian so I was really an outsider but was lucky enough to have my uncle as a local. I miss the air, nature, land and chillness of it all. I miss aspects of cornwall but I’m not sure if I’d spend another chunk of time there. This was from March 2022 so similar timing! Thank you for this
Cornwall without a car in my opinion is an absolute nightmare. I don’t know how you did it. But at least you got to experience some good things.
I really think that your videos have the ability to positively influence male mindsets on their ability to talk about their emotions. I think it’s admirable what you’re doing.
That’s the plan Kate - just real honest content to help unravel peoples words and minds.
I grew up in Cornwall and everything you said is exactly how I felt growing up there. Super isolating, 0 infrastructure and horrendously bitchy with the small town mentality. I left at 18 and have only been back to visit friends. It’s super refreshing to hear someone else say everything I felt while living there, as so many people don’t realise the reality of living in a place like Cornwall. Thank you for posting this 🫶🏻
I think it comes from following the false positive narrative about these places. Everyone glamourises them but that really only shows 15% of the time there. It’s beautiful and will always hold a special place in my heart, but at the same time; I never felt that bad about myself than when I lived there.
A shot every time you write “super” for absolutely no reason
@@maselm wow two shots, what a crazy night you must have had
@@beachbuminasuit absolutely, you hit the nail on the head there. I just hope you feel a bit more yourself and happier now that you are back in London!
@@Hoonahlouise Please don’t project onto me if you’re a light weight, Hannah.
This whole video echoes how I'm feeling about living in Devon at the moment. I lived in Bristol for 5 years and loved it but ultimately my work, and travel plans meant it made more sense to come back to Devon. It has felt near enough impossible to integrate myself into the place I grew up in because I left. I love having nature around me and don't miss how dirty Bristol can be, but so miss the sense of community I had there.
I really do recommend moving to Bristol - even for a little bit, it's full of wonderful people. But do be aware that it has its own housing crisis too.
Now, imagine growing up there lol. I visit once a year to see family. I miss many things. But I could not be more glad I left.
Nice vid! Would love to see one specific to London as well loads of issues here especially for those who find it hard to put themselves out there/FOMO of other Londoners.
I got you, give me a few weeks?
I lived in Cornwall for 6 years- moved to Falmouth for uni and I was one of the ones who found it hard to leave, until a year after Covid.
It’s a shame that you had a shit time, I also felt the isolation after people left when I moved to Newlyn. But in time the community grew around me and they were incredible, working locally helped massively too.
Choosing to live somewhere so isolated in Cornwall clearly wasn’t the best, and maybe if you chose to be closer to the town hubs you would have enjoyed it more, places like Fal and Penzance have a great scene.
Locals in the remote areas are more likely to be sceptical of “outsiders”. I hardly came across any “cliques” or “bitchy” locals, when I did they never cared where I came from, they cared if you cared for them and were aware of the socioeconomic issues there and if you were going to contribute to that, as so many people (not just from London) move to Cornwall without doing the proper research and expect it to be this romantic ideal, which it isn’t and move a couple years later.
I have to disagree with your comment of “no one talks about people from the south west moving to London and impacting our housing crisis” as the situation in Cornwall is so much deeper than that. Jobs are shit verging on nonexistent, especially for young people, pay is terrible, Cornwall runs on a seasonal timeline so most jobs are only on a 6 month basis and your out of work the rest, Cornwall is unfortunately completely reliant on tourism and it’s caused massive poverty and infrastructure closing. And with infrastructure closing it makes it harder for people to meet each other. So I’m sorry it doesn’t compare.
Cornwall is slowly becoming rife with ghost towns due to tourism and second home owners etc- Mousehole is a perfect example.
On that note I have to say (and I really mean it from a kind place) but it just feels like you didn’t research Cornwall as well as you should of, you mention the seasonal timeline and how that seeps into relationships, that’s just Cornwall, and that’s what the reliance on tourism does to that place and second home owners kicking out locals and out buying them. Cornwall’s awful public transport is glaring on any google search.
Also why did you opt for a 3 bed house? You mention locals finding it hard to find homes, but you were one of the ones that pushed a potential family out of the area?
Anyway I will say give Bristol a go! I moved to Bristol after Cornwall and you’ll love it from the impression you give. Bristol is surrounded by green spaces (Cotswolds, Somerset). It’s an intimate city, with a great artist, music and events scene.
Best of luck to you mate wish you the best!
There are lots of platitudes you keep hearing about Cornwall. There are plenty of jobs there that aren't tourism related. Tourism provides only 12% of Cornwall's GDP and 1 in 5 jobs. There's work in a full spectrum of fields from accountancy, media, admin, support work I could write endlessly but you can see what I mean. The constant mention of "no infrastructure" isn't true either. There are great bus routes all over. I knew someone who regularly travelled from one end to the other using buses alone because they didn't drive. They didn't have any problems. Why is it up to people coming into Cornwall to "contribute to the socio economic issues?" Everyone who's working pays taxes and that contributes to the society and we all spend money in the economy. There's no obligation to doing any more than that is there? It helps to be open minded and to want to understand other people's lives and upbringing definately. But you should be able to live rurally if you want to and not experience bitter, ignorant and downright unpleasant treatment. Speak as you find is my mantra and I have no time for people who behave like that - there are no excuses, it's just nasty. What does exist in Cornwall, quite frequently is the Peter Pan syndrome a couple of other commentators have mentioned. Which basically means immature adults who don't behave reasonably. They see someone with a different background to them and are silly enough to think that justifies being unkind. It's called bullying. There are some lovely people in Cornwall but also a good smattering of people who need to take a long look in the mirror and consider leaving their bubble to understand more about how the real world words. An example being understanding that other people working hard and earning money is not going to take anything from them. People can choose to live where they like and there is no entitlement to a particular area. I can no longer afford to live where I grew up. It's several hundreds of thousands for a 2 bed flat above a shop. How did I deal with that adult reality? I moved somewhere else that I could afford. I didn't spend the rest of my life complaining and spoiling the lives of the people who live in that flat. Unfortunately, because some of these views are widespread in Cornwall and other similar areas people give them credence and legs and so it perpetuates. The best way to make things better in your life is to focus on your life, your attitude and how you're making a difference or not. Not the people moving in next door, no matter where they come from.
I have never connected so much with a conversation about Cornwall than the content of this video.
I moved to Cornwall around 7 years ago after living abroad as my husband’s family are from there and he grew up there.
For the last 7 years I have felt a combination of isolation and suffocation. I have stayed because as a place for young children to grow up I think the access to nature is unparalleled. Now they are older I worry that they will not have as much exposure to the variety (cultural, diversity, language, food, arts, etc). My biggest concern has always been the ‘Peter pan’ mentality as you so aptly put it. I have always been highly ambitious and many times (not always) that was met with confusion and distain-why could I just be ‘satisfied’ with Cornwall. I felt like an outlier and an outsider.
I’m glad it resonated and hope it made you feel as seen as your comment has made me feel.
I think it works both ways....
My son, born and bred in Cornwall lived in London for the 'year in industry' part of his degree course. He knew no one when he moved there and really tried hard to intergrate with his work colleagues. He joined a gym and local 5 aside footy team but wasnt really able to connect with anyone. He found it super isolating and was really lonely there as he said everyone already had their own lives and friend groups and after work people were just too busy with getting on with their own lives to bother about asking him to join them....also on the wage he wad getting paid, after rent and expenses he couldn't afford to enjoy any of the cultural aspects of the city..so really didnt benefit from the exciting opportunities that living in the Capital can bring.
He also thinks Cornwall has too much of a 'small town ' mentaily and is looking to move to Bristol after his degree ...offering city amenities but with 'South West' vibes as he says.
Wishing you all the luck with wherever you lay your hat.
Hit the nail on the head there Clare. I think it’s a cultural and societal issue everywhere about being more mindful of others. Bristol sounds like a shout for him as I said in the video, keen to try it myself.
i 100 percent get this, i moved at the end of 2019 to cornwall being 16 at the time. i found it super difficult to get to know anyone
i wish id have met you when i lived there could of grabbed a few pints mate you seem like a top bloke, hope your happier now though.
This just felt like a chat over a brew. 👍
Just like old times aye!
Your video and some of the comments here have been really validating. We're not enjoying Cornwall either and have similar feelings of isolation and also suffocation. You start to feel at times that it's you, even when the other part of you knows it's not. There are some really aggressive nasty attitudes in Cornwall, worse than people might think. I've experienced different aspects of it in ranges of subtlety from tradespeople to school parents. We've also met some lovely people, but the amount of negative energy is just too much and life is too short. We're looking to find even more nature/wilderness and a bit more space from people with our next move, which will be to Scotland in the Highlands. Cornwall now feels crowded somehow. It's great to have a nearby village but one that's not so intense as some of the areas you can find in Cornwall. Many from Cornwall will hear testimony like ours and says "good riddance" because they don't like "emmets" but that's actually incredibly sad and not an indication of kindness or decency. A friend who's Cornish said that the term "emmet" is actually racist in nature and I think they're right there.
People forget that discrimination doesn’t discriminate. Treating anyone differently because of where they are from is totally wrong. You have to take people on a case by case basis. I have seen some awful holiday makers and awful locals. But to be blindly treated anyway is just wrong.
I moved to Pentire, Newquay with my ex the October before Covid hit, it was gorgeous and loved their way of life as in wanting to be in nature and not climb the corp ladder but my god did I feel out of place since I didn’t surf or skate, I definitely didn’t fit in to the cool laid back groups that were in the centre of Newquay.
We did hit the jackpot with our property as this lovely couple needed someone to ‘house sit’ while they went to Bristol for 8 months so £850 for a 2 bed house in Pentire just a 5min walk to fistral, fully furnished and all bills included but that was luck of the draw - no chance of that these days.
Happy to say I done it though, changed my goals and entire mindset ☺️
The mistake you made was not moving down far enough.
Move to a sea side town and things would have been different.
Nobody wants to travel up to Wadebridge.. its too close to Bodmin which is a shit hole.
No one I know wants to move to London.. ha, that too is a Shit Hole.. 😂