I Love you Father Columba. I have learned so much by listening to your UA-cam videos. I became a Catholic in 2023 Easter Vigil at age 67. Finally I have a genuine relationship with God and you are part of my story.
I have to surrender to God… my two young boys 11 & 9 are so disrespectful towards me. My husband & I try so hard to not let them get away with it but seems like nothing works. We try to be good examples. Go to traditional Latin mass every Sunday, say the rosary every night, catholic school etc. But it seems the culture already has a hold on them at a young age. Lord help in this valley of tears…
I understand completely. If you get the “Love and Logic” program on cd and you and your husband listen to them it will change everything. You can even listen to some of the program on you tube. Don’t give up hope. Jesus will help!
One of my children was nominated to be on the Super Nanny show and right before agreeing my husband and I tried love and Logic. Now my fully grown son will be entering the seminary! He is a rockstar!
Hello. I wouldn’t change what you are doing, including surrendering to God, regardless of your kids’ behavior. Meanwhile, I would add seeking the insight of a counselor/child psychologist to help you w/discipline strategies. My wife and I did that with our children (now 19, 17 and 12) and it made a big(!) difference. I’m sure God acted through the specialists who helped us. He may do the same with you. Don’t go it alone. / Remember that God’s power is infinitely greater that any bad influences our children are exposed to. / Don’t be discouraged. This too shall pass. God bless you, JCF
I'm struggling with anger. I try each day, I fall & get up again. I live with an alcoholic. It's a battle at times I can control it other times i can't. I just want peace. I'm so glad I found this video. God bless you & everyone.
Caryn - I am a recovering alcoholic with 22 years sober in AA - If your mate is truly an alcoholic, and not willing to get help, most of the time, not always, nothing will change, in which case for your own sanity and safety, you might need to change your circumstances. Your 'anger' - your reaction to a 'sick' person - isn't your fault, but it is part of the disfunction and doesn't help the person with the sickness either. Also, trying to 'talk it out' doesn't usually work either. It might help for a while but until the person is willing to get help - is sick & tired of being sick & tired - nothing really changes. So, think of your safety & sanity. Good luck & God Bless.
@@MLStanleyK I wish I could like this more than once. You can't save someone from themselves and it doesn't even do the rescuee any good to keep on being there for them when they're not interested in changing.
I can relate about your anger! I used to be a very angry woman. I’m not any more! Thank you Jesus! I believe saying the rosary everyday help & healed my soul…. I still get mad but Never they way I use to react has changed for the better:) If you want to lear how to other’s rosary 📿 lot me know :)))God bless you!!🙏🏼🙏🏼
i surrender my husband to god almighty father i love you and pray for you he has drink and anger problems please pray i find the peace of mind i need i am so stressed out just cant take anymore god bless you father
Hi Fr. , excellent video , that I just happened upon. I was an addict for 50 years , some of that time I even lived on the streets! No self control whatsoever! I was hurt and I , in turn hurt many,many people. Thanks to Divine Mercy I was rescued from the pit and today I am a street missionary. What community are yall from ? Please say a Hail Mary for my very late vocation ...lol, God is full of surprise , as is Our Lady. Gracias father , always praying for priest, brothers , and all religious everywhere!!!
I have started fasting and I would have thought temptations would be harder to deal with due to feeling hungry and weakened, but the opposite has happened.
Thank you Father. The enemy knows our weaknesses. I've learned that I must avoid people, places and things that tend to hook me when I'm tired because I lack the will to resist temptation. I'm an idiot. I can't trust myself. Jesus, I trust in you.
when I was watching Jurassic World for the first time, one of the quotes that stuck with me was, "the key to a happy life is to accept that you are never actually in control" and I think thats a really good simple way of putting it.
I am thankful for videos like this. I had a rough time yesterday at work. I fell for the deception that my own emotions created. Keep my wife and I in your thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for this video. I sometimes can't believe what I didn't get told as a young man. How to make proper use of freedom. I shudder at the the things I did earlier on in life, thinking that the excess I saw around me in the culture was the right and natural way to be. There's no end to wanting, and it led me almost to ruin.
I have difficulty with self-control as I have adhd. The executive function in the adhd brain will often misfire. I am going on the assumption that as long as I am doing my best and continue to ask for God's help, I will get better at it.
Yes Father... 2choose evil is all to easy. Saying no 2my indulgences requires so much prayer.. just resting.. sitting in His presence. Sometimes I really do(!) wish the Lord would stop me from my sinning! Christ have mercy.
Feeling frustrated is my alarm bell to check myself and regain self-control by taking a step back; then to reassess my perspective. Then I try to engage in some meekness and gentleness to harness the situation at hand. If I’m in the wrong at all I’ll try to say sorry first; if I’m in the right, then I try to endure some flack to my moral ground provides an opportunity for correction: Again, done with meekness. But sometimes it’s just patience, patience, patience and prayer, etc...Thank you Father for being so commonsensical 😊
You are so incredibly blessed with being able to speak the good news in a way that is so peaceful. You could do a prayerful meditation playlist for sleep and I would listen to that. Not saying you put me to sleep but you just have that inner calmness that I am seeking for myself. Thanks for the great message as always and God Bless!
Thank you for the kind encouragement, and that’s actually something we are looking at doing - recording some prayers for people to pray along with. As for meditations we have just started another podcast with Fr Gavan Jennings called “Meditations” which are weekly reflections to pray along with and use as a seed for prayer. Here’s the latest episode: ua-cam.com/video/EQGLvqE0xfg/v-deo.html
it's too bad that this wasn't a video message haha it made me laugh. thank you for that. I echo everything you said. The meditations that this channel has are incredibly helpful. It's also story telling with a prayer at the end.
I believe by going to daily mass,adoration,and confession often helps you by the grace of God to relieve a lot of stress and anxiety caused by things that you cannot change. It also helps you to put away those feelings that make you think that you have to try and change everything and you can change people and situations. To put it in the hands of God. Jesus I trust in you!!
Thank you Father for this video. I really needed it. I've recently went through a breakup which has been hard for me to accept. Please pray for me so that I may accept God's will for my life.
Sorry to hear that, Lukas. That can be really hard. Fr Mike has a great vide on this: ua-cam.com/video/WeVbAyOeOlc/v-deo.html And this might help also: plus.catholicmatch.com/articles/how-to-heal-after-a-break-up Praying for you.
this lecture really helped me turn the corner on some very vile habits I've had for a long time. The idea that we need self-control for freedom, the freedom to choose the good. That remark lit a spark inside of me and has helped me start a long overdue change. God bless you and thank you for waking a dead heart.
Well said, Fr. The Father respected the freedom of his Son to leave in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Perhaps freedom is God's clever way of showing us the darkness and absence that is only healed in running back to the Father? Thanks for the video, Fr.
When I started noticing the patterns that lead to me losing self-control was when I started building it. These distinctions in my behavior were the difference makers in my life, because it helped me realize that starting to do something new is difficult, but learning to stop doing something that you find pleasure in is much more delicate and challenging. I suppose accepting the fact that you can't repeat certain patterns is the tough part. Especially if those patterns once brought you great joy. There comes a point when one has to learn to let go, and that is the hardest thing to do.
Self-control is such a big issue for me right now. Argh! I want to change but it's so easy to stay in my bad habits! I'm stuck on the algae island from Life of Pi. Jesus, help me where I am weak!
I've lived primarily moneyless for a decade, focused on service, in a mendicant/monkish way. So lots of experience with asceticism, fasting, control, freedom.
Glad you enjoyed this video, Maria! And here’s a video Fr Columba did a little white back on emotions. Hope it’s helpful! ua-cam.com/video/gUKBTA-jnHg/v-deo.html
Dear blessed Father, I am experiencing such things of liberation. I see you sitting in a cell of beautiful day light. I see you practice what you preach. I can't wait to be done with this world, but what you are discussing is the absolute core of salvation. Self control and freedom is the desire to choose the right. Amen
I've been fasting during the day and breaking my fast in the evening, it has been tremendous in my prayer life because when I'm hungry I pray instead, the prayers are deeper. I am praying for my responses because life and death are in the tongue. It is eye opening when we realize we are not our own not only are we now Gods children but we represent our church and families every choice we make effects us all. I never want to be responsible for the downfall or humiliation of others because of my lack of control
I have lost 25 lbs of fat and retained muscle mass my doing Intermittent fasting. Also corrected some health issues It really is a gift from God to live a healthy life for him. Thank the Lord, I got my health and happiness back. When I fast I remember the suffering he took up for us for our own good. I’m Very grateful for his healing grace. It’s helped me more ways that I can express. 🙏🙏🙏
This is my great gripe about my countrymen's obsession with "freedom." In America freedom tends to be that idea that you can do whatever you want, including breaking the law if you don't agree with it. This freedom for excellence idea is desperately needed in our culture.
Yes 🙏😔 so wish I didn't have issues with this and falling for evil to easily... Or if you got some self control in one area and then be messing up in others... so challenging to be self-control discipline and the balance with it all... and wishing that the evil negative throughts and energies of the negative dark forces that take "Control" over you or you letting it 😔 or the mindset if you don't control it in the good way gets out of control or something else takes over.... and the balance and to the good change and the issues of "surrendering" to the true loving God and not to evil or negative dark forces energies. And I wish naturally did true and good 😔🙏... And the balance for protection of getting into evil etc... and the issues we put too much freedom and miss using the will and how is it abuse to prevent? But then we get told its also not good to be free to do anything which will lead to "bad" or evil😔 and then the issues of judgement about it and duality issues if the good/evil... comes different to some?
Great video, great reminder! For those out there who find find themselves struggling mightily with control of others especially around a loved one who has has problems with drinking or anything else, Al-Anon is a great resource!!
This is perfect, Fr. Columba. Thank you for elucidating it so clearly. I've had that conversation with so many people when they ask, 'why does God allow evil' and while it seems easy to understand that this is a function of free will, most people are not satisfied with that. You explain in crystalline clarity. I'll be glad to point them to you. God bless you always. i learn so much from you.
Also guilty of wanting to change things that are not mine to change (nor am I capable of it! but doesn't stop me from wanting to ). Thank you for calling me out and giving me a better way to enter into those moments.
Hi fr really lately only I’ve realised that yes let Lord take control over things that I can do nothing about except prayer.. I do pray for it though and it does seem to lift off such a burden off you! Thanks for this reminder.. keep me in your prayers 🙏🏼😇
Thank you Father. Really struggling at the moment with self esteem and trying to read into thoughts of others. This really highlighted to me the Serenity Prayer.
@@rjskeptic5273 Yes, of course you can. But love of God is different than love of your spouse or love of your puppy. Love of God is a act of the will, not an act of emotion. It is an intellectual love more than emotional love. It is an intentional turning toward God. It is not the same as the emotional, endearing, giddy feeling you might feel toward a puppy or a spouse, even though we use the same word, “love”, in both cases.
@@ctmcatholic just curious - do you teach obedience to our Saviour, Jesus Christ per John 14:15? if so, do you honor and keep Exodus 20:8-11 ? thanks for your reply.
Sometimes, i still dont know how to react to people with “bad mouth”. Very annoying and hurting. I dont like to respond with anger but seems they are blind to read my-dont like-expression.
@@ctmcatholic last time… i think my angel whispered to me…haha. I almost lost control…but somehow…. I heard in my head,”mock them and dont care too much if they are angry.” Then, I turned their annoying attitude by “mocking” them back. It looked like joking but i showed them that i dont care whatever you say or want from me. You will not get it. I am always nice to them, frater, but I dont know…it makes them feel the can press me or talking in unpleasant way (and wording). It is like they want me to bend my head before them… i think we can imagine ppl who like to be treated that way. So, i am not sure if being kind to them is a good idea. I think, this kind of ppl are too toxic. Sometimes, not some, but always actually… how come Jesus and saints can be so patient? I wonder if Lord ever angry with toxic people, frater?
Coming from a period of atheism and now being interested in Christian spirituality, I am trying to "translate" some of the spiritual advice I read into terms that make sense to a non-believer. Today, I came up with an explanation of "giving things to God when you're struggling with them". We humans have a desire to explain everything and often have a standard method for doing things. If you are struggling with something, chances are you're doing something wrong and you have no idea what it is, or what you should change. The problem then arises that you are stuck in the wrong method or come up with one that doesn't work. A more sensible approach would then be a trial and error method. By handing the problem over to God, you're then basically saying "I really don't know what to do", loosening your connection with the old, wrong method, preventing that you come up with a bad new one, and making you open to trying new things. A Christian would then say that the new things that actually work come from God, while a non-believer might just call it chance. Anyway, the same approach, choosing not to consciously try to solve the problem while keeping the goal of solving it in mind will give you a fighting chance at success.
That’s an interesting thought, thank you for sharing. I do also think when we try to explain away God (whether or not that’s what you’re recommending) we’re left with trying to force human explanations on things that only make sense with God in the equation.
@@ctmcatholic It was certainly not my intention to explain away God. I currently find myself in a world between unbelief and faith, uncertain about how to choose between the two. I don't think that all Christian spirituality can make sense to unbelievers, but I do believe that some of it can, that a sort of translation is possible. This is kind of inspired by "The rule of St Benedict for beginners" by Wil Derkse, which is a modern interpretation of Benedict's rule. The author is a Catholic, but much of what he wrote certainly had value for everyone. The chapter on Benedictine time management is an absolute gem. Also, when I was an atheist, I felt that religion had some value that was somehow lost by throwing it away and I tried, at times, to identify and recover what that was. Also, I saw religion basically dying in my country and, for similar reasons, the loss of the heritage troubled me. You also might say that these translations I try to make are a kind of stepping stone for me to bridge the gap between faith and unbelief. I also hope that these "translations" may at one point enable a dialogue between believers and non-believers. It is so easy to condemn the other side, rather than look for things in common. I don't believe that people are atheists, because they want to sin, as is said quite often. When I became an agnostic, it was out of a need for intellectual honesty, more than anything else, and I chose it in spite of a fear that it might send me to hell.
As a fellow former atheist, my only advice to you is to consider ancient philosophy and all subsequent grand philosophical thought that is today thought of erroneously as secular as, in fact, all based entirely on good faith, from Plato to Neitzsche. There's a good reason why knowing God is called gnosis, because on a reductive and flatly logical level, to "know" anything is to hold faith in this idea that does not physically exist, yet you know it and can recognise it when it is in your presence. All the great thinkers that atheists pore over and worship and put faith in today would be *reviled* at the sight of a faithless philosophical word, including certainly Neitzsche, who noted correctly there there are no facts, only interpretations, and that "God was dead". I say was because I believe wholeheartedly secular thought is coming to an end and we will be moving forward into a re-renaissance, hence God being brought back to life. I still don't believe in a magic man in the sky. I do, however, put all my faith and trust in all the great men who came before me, most of all Christ Jesus, God made flesh, and his most graceful and immeasurably glorious sacrifice. This is all deeply logically consistent. Blessings to you, brother.
@@dextersynesterformerlysorb5334 I think that you have progessed further on the path towards faith then I have. I have watched and read many debates and arguments between believers (mainly Christian) and non-believers. In the end, I became disappointed, first with the apologists, next with the unbelievers. I found that any argument for the existence of God can be taken apart with relative ease, and next that apologetics is a form of pseudoscience, wanting to find proof for previously held beliefs, rather than testing those beliefs. Then I found the offerings of atheists similarly meager and I realised that atheism and belief are what Kuhn called different paradigms. They are more or less consistent within themselves, but they have no power to refute the other, because they are based on different, untestable assumptions. My conclusion was that there is only one way to decide between the two: experience them both from the inside and then make a personal choice. I feel that I have gone all the way with atheism, but left Christianity at too young an age to do the same properly, so I'm trying to do that now. Trying out Christianity is a hard thing to do, because there's a deep chasm you need to cross and the going is very slow because of it, due to many, many doubts. One might argue that, apart from Christianity, one should experience other religions from the inside as well. But I neither have the time, nor the inclination. My alternative is to say that I don't really understand other religions and I feel that I need to try to be humble about judging them. Also, the chasm I see is between unbelief and religion and I don't think that these other religions are totally wrong. But they are quite alien to me, so I just feel that the coat of Christianity will fit me better. These are my meager ramblings, but I hope that you will find some use in them.
@@diedertspijkerboer for all of that, I may simply say that religion fills a deep psychological hole and provides a sense of home, if one was raised a certain way, in a certain culture, with a certain God. I thank my atheist mother for reading me the Lord's prayer at night, for that alone spurs that feeling within me. I'm sure from your description you have a nostalgic connection to it, too. Embrace it for what it is.
Glad you’re enjoying this series. As a practicing Catholic religious, he does. Fr Columba is a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal. His order live very humble aesthetic lives with lots of prayer and service to the poor. If you’re interested in what his day looks like, here’s a video on just that: ua-cam.com/video/euwjN1368BE/v-deo.html
I Love you Father Columba. I have learned so much by listening to your UA-cam videos. I became a Catholic in 2023 Easter Vigil at age 67. Finally I have a genuine relationship with God and you are part of my story.
That’s amazing to hear. Thank you. Praise God!
I have to surrender to God… my two young boys 11 & 9 are so disrespectful towards me. My husband & I try so hard to not let them get away with it but seems like nothing works. We try to be good examples. Go to traditional Latin mass every Sunday, say the rosary every night, catholic school etc. But it seems the culture already has a hold on them at a young age. Lord help in this valley of tears…
I understand completely. If you get the “Love and Logic” program on cd and you and your husband listen to them it will change everything. You can even listen to some of the program on you tube. Don’t give up hope. Jesus will help!
One of my children was nominated to be on the Super Nanny show and right before agreeing my husband and I tried love and Logic. Now my fully grown son will be entering the seminary! He is a rockstar!
Hello. I wouldn’t change what you are doing, including surrendering to God, regardless of your kids’ behavior. Meanwhile, I would add seeking the insight of a counselor/child psychologist to help you w/discipline strategies. My wife and I did that with our children (now 19, 17 and 12) and it made a big(!) difference. I’m sure God acted through the specialists who helped us. He may do the same with you. Don’t go it alone. / Remember that God’s power is infinitely greater that any bad influences our children are exposed to. / Don’t be discouraged. This too shall pass. God bless you, JCF
@@mandycarney9661 thank you!
@@juanc.fortunofas9224 thank u!
Thank you Fr. Columba. NO ONE explains thoroughly
prayer, situations like you do. Many blessings from The Holy Blessed Trinity to you. ✨️🙏✨️
You are so welcome
I'm struggling with anger. I try each day, I fall & get up again. I live with an alcoholic. It's a battle at times I can control it other times i can't. I just want peace. I'm so glad I found this video. God bless you & everyone.
Bless you, Caryn, know we are praying for you and very glad this video was helpful in some way.
Caryn - I am a recovering alcoholic with 22 years sober in AA - If your mate is truly an alcoholic, and not willing to get help, most of the time, not always, nothing will change, in which case for your own sanity and safety, you might need to change your circumstances. Your 'anger' - your reaction to a 'sick' person - isn't your fault, but it is part of the disfunction and doesn't help the person with the sickness either. Also, trying to 'talk it out' doesn't usually work either. It might help for a while but until the person is willing to get help - is sick & tired of being sick & tired - nothing really changes. So, think of your safety & sanity. Good luck & God Bless.
@@MLStanleyK I wish I could like this more than once. You can't save someone from themselves and it doesn't even do the rescuee any good to keep on being there for them when they're not interested in changing.
I can relate about your anger! I used to be a very angry woman. I’m not any more! Thank you Jesus! I believe saying the rosary everyday help & healed my soul…. I still get mad but Never they way I use to react has changed for the better:) If you want to lear how to other’s rosary 📿 lot me know :)))God bless you!!🙏🏼🙏🏼
i surrender my husband to god almighty father i love you and pray for you he has drink and anger problems please pray i find the peace of mind i need i am so stressed out just cant take anymore god bless you father
Hi Fr. , excellent video , that I just happened upon. I was an addict for 50 years , some of that time I even lived on the streets! No self control whatsoever! I was hurt and I , in turn hurt many,many people. Thanks to Divine Mercy I was rescued from the pit and today I am a street missionary. What community are yall from ? Please say a Hail Mary for my very late vocation ...lol, God is full of surprise , as is Our Lady. Gracias father , always praying for priest, brothers , and all religious everywhere!!!
Lord, give me the strength and grace to know self control 🙏🏻
Amen 🙏🏼
I have started fasting and I would have thought temptations would be harder to deal with due to feeling hungry and weakened, but the opposite has happened.
That’s great to hear! Fasting really does strengthen the will. Glad you’re seeing results already.
Thank you Father. The enemy knows our weaknesses. I've learned that I must avoid people, places and things that tend to hook me when I'm tired because I lack the will to resist temptation. I'm an idiot. I can't trust myself. Jesus, I trust in you.
Avoiding temptation is an absolute key to avoiding sin. Bless you, Maja!
You cannot change the people around you, however you can change the people around you.
when I was watching Jurassic World for the first time, one of the quotes that stuck with me was, "the key to a happy life is to accept that you are never actually in control" and I think thats a really good simple way of putting it.
This is the first Jurassic Park comment we’ve ever had. And hopefully not the last! 🦖
Life uh finds a way
I thank GOD because i found this amazing channel God bless your soul! From a Lebanese Maronite Christian❤️
So glad you’re here. God bless you!
Amen
Catholic or Orthodox?
Oh, that's right Catholic.
@@dougy6237 we’re the only rite that is entirely catholic and not divided
As always, a great talk. BTW. Your plant friend looks great! 😊
Haha thank you, Gerry the Geranium going strong 🙏
I am thankful for videos like this. I had a rough time yesterday at work. I fell for the deception that my own emotions created. Keep my wife and I in your thoughts and prayers.
Glad you found this video, Ian. We’ll be sure to pray for you and your wife. God bless you!
Thank you for this video. I sometimes can't believe what I didn't get told as a young man. How to make proper use of freedom. I shudder at the the things I did earlier on in life, thinking that the excess I saw around me in the culture was the right and natural way to be. There's no end to wanting, and it led me almost to ruin.
Every saint has a past. God bless you for realising what was right and responding to His grace.
I pray the Serenity Prayer everyday.
Amazing!
I have difficulty with self-control as I have adhd. The executive function in the adhd brain will often misfire. I am going on the assumption that as long as I am doing my best and continue to ask for God's help, I will get better at it.
This was a great learning for me: I’m not responsible for how other people think because God does not even do that.
🙏🏼
Father,
Thank you, thank you, thank you..
God love you..🙏
You’re welcome.
Yes Father... 2choose evil is all to easy. Saying no 2my indulgences requires so much prayer..
just resting.. sitting in His presence. Sometimes I really do(!) wish the Lord would stop me from my sinning! Christ have mercy.
Stay close to him. Pray for the grace to be strong. God bless you!
Feeling frustrated is my alarm bell to check myself and regain self-control by taking a step back; then to reassess my perspective. Then I try to engage in some meekness and gentleness to harness the situation at hand. If I’m in the wrong at all I’ll try to say sorry first; if I’m in the right, then I try to endure some flack to my moral ground provides an opportunity for correction: Again, done with meekness. But sometimes it’s just patience, patience, patience and prayer, etc...Thank you Father for being so commonsensical 😊
I pray to Jesus that I never touch drugs again 🙏 Jesus I trust in you 🙏
Praying for you too, Friend!
Thanks Father. You are gifted by God in helping me to connect my day to day challenges and struggles to God's God's way.
God bless you, Arthur.
You are so incredibly blessed with being able to speak the good news in a way that is so peaceful. You could do a prayerful meditation playlist for sleep and I would listen to that. Not saying you put me to sleep but you just have that inner calmness that I am seeking for myself. Thanks for the great message as always and God Bless!
Thank you for the kind encouragement, and that’s actually something we are looking at doing - recording some prayers for people to pray along with.
As for meditations we have just started another podcast with Fr Gavan Jennings called “Meditations” which are weekly reflections to pray along with and use as a seed for prayer. Here’s the latest episode: ua-cam.com/video/EQGLvqE0xfg/v-deo.html
it's too bad that this wasn't a video message haha it made me laugh. thank you for that. I echo everything you said. The meditations that this channel has are incredibly helpful. It's also story telling with a prayer at the end.
I believe by going to daily mass,adoration,and confession often helps you by the grace of God to relieve a lot of stress and anxiety caused by things that you cannot change. It also helps you to put away those feelings that make you think that you have to try and change everything and you can change people and situations. To put it in the hands of God. Jesus I trust in you!!
We can do nothing without grace. 💙
Thank you Father for this video. I really needed it. I've recently went through a breakup which has been hard for me to accept. Please pray for me so that I may accept God's will for my life.
Sorry to hear that, Lukas. That can be really hard.
Fr Mike has a great vide on this: ua-cam.com/video/WeVbAyOeOlc/v-deo.html
And this might help also: plus.catholicmatch.com/articles/how-to-heal-after-a-break-up
Praying for you.
this lecture really helped me turn the corner on some very vile habits I've had for a long time. The idea that we need self-control for freedom, the freedom to choose the good. That remark lit a spark inside of me and has helped me start a long overdue change. God bless you and thank you for waking a dead heart.
So glad to hear it. God bless you!
Well said, Fr. The Father respected the freedom of his Son to leave in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Perhaps freedom is God's clever way of showing us the darkness and absence that is only healed in running back to the Father?
Thanks for the video, Fr.
I think that’s definitely part of it!
The circle of control is such an important psychological tool for everyone's tool box. So glad you are speaking on it.
💙
Thank you Father for such helpful messages that inspire me to live better☦️
You are very welcome.
When I started noticing the patterns that lead to me losing self-control was when I started building it. These distinctions in my behavior were the difference makers in my life, because it helped me realize that starting to do something new is difficult, but learning to stop doing something that you find pleasure in is much more delicate and challenging. I suppose accepting the fact that you can't repeat certain patterns is the tough part. Especially if those patterns once brought you great joy. There comes a point when one has to learn to let go, and that is the hardest thing to do.
We’re going to be covering this a little bit in an upcoming episode.
Amen Lovely Fr God bless you
✝️ 🙏❤️🙏
🙏🙏
Self-control is such a big issue for me right now. Argh! I want to change but it's so easy to stay in my bad habits! I'm stuck on the algae island from Life of Pi. Jesus, help me where I am weak!
I've lived primarily moneyless for a decade, focused on service, in a mendicant/monkish way. So lots of experience with asceticism, fasting, control, freedom.
I'm grateful for this message, thank you 🙏
You are so welcome
Thank you Father for your wisdom and understanding of human nature. We are Blessed.
You are very welcome.
Thank you Fr.Columbo.
May God Almighty Bless you and everyone who reads this
God bless you, Pat.
Thank you!! Could you make a video on how to deal with emotions?
Glad you enjoyed this video, Maria! And here’s a video Fr Columba did a little white back on emotions. Hope it’s helpful! ua-cam.com/video/gUKBTA-jnHg/v-deo.html
Thanks for letting me know!
Fr. Your the best speaker! Keep ‘em coming. ✝️
Thanks for watching, Paul. Lots more to come.
Dear blessed Father, I am experiencing such things of liberation. I see you sitting in a cell of beautiful day light. I see you practice what you preach. I can't wait to be done with this world, but what you are discussing is the absolute core of salvation. Self control and freedom is the desire to choose the right. Amen
Bless you, Phil. This life is a gift, but it’s the next one we are living for!
@@ctmcatholic AMEN
Thank you, Padre - enjoy your videos. PAX from San Diego
Thanks for watching, Chris!
I've been fasting during the day and breaking my fast in the evening, it has been tremendous in my prayer life because when I'm hungry I pray instead, the prayers are deeper. I am praying for my responses because life and death are in the tongue. It is eye opening when we realize we are not our own not only are we now Gods children but we represent our church and families every choice we make effects us all. I never want to be responsible for the downfall or humiliation of others because of my lack of control
Fasting and abstinence are so powerful.
This blew my mind 🤯 so much explained and so much more clear now. God bless you 💗🙏💗
Fr. Jordan, I really appreciate your videos. Thank you for speaking God’s love into the world. God bless you!
Thank you for watching!
I have lost 25 lbs of fat and retained muscle mass my doing Intermittent fasting. Also corrected some health issues
It really is a gift from God to live a healthy life for him. Thank the Lord, I got my health and happiness back. When I fast I remember the suffering he took up for us for our own good. I’m
Very grateful for his healing grace. It’s helped me more ways that I can express. 🙏🙏🙏
IF is the way 💪
This is my great gripe about my countrymen's obsession with "freedom." In America freedom tends to be that idea that you can do whatever you want, including breaking the law if you don't agree with it. This freedom for excellence idea is desperately needed in our culture.
Thanks for watching!
Yes 🙏😔 so wish I didn't have issues with this and falling for evil to easily...
Or if you got some self control in one area and then be messing up in others... so challenging to be self-control discipline and the balance with it all... and wishing that the evil negative throughts and energies of the negative dark forces that take "Control" over you or you letting it 😔 or the mindset if you don't control it in the good way gets out of control or something else takes over.... and the balance and to the good change and the issues of "surrendering" to the true loving God and not to evil or negative dark forces energies.
And I wish naturally did true and good 😔🙏...
And the balance for protection of getting into evil etc... and the issues we put too much freedom and miss using the will and how is it abuse to prevent? But then we get told its also not good to be free to do anything which will lead to "bad" or evil😔 and then the issues of judgement about it and duality issues if the good/evil... comes different to some?
I have trouble with self mastery when it comes to eating late at night . Pray for me fr greg
Jesus, help me to be good🤣I hope that’s a good prayer!
It’s a great prayer! Similar to the publican at the temple.
Very edifying lessons that must be apply to my life with God's providence I pray we can all learn self control. Thank you father!
You’re welcome, Dom.
Great video, great reminder! For those out there who find find themselves struggling mightily with control of others especially around a loved one who has has problems with drinking or anything else, Al-Anon is a great resource!!
Absolutely, thanks for mentioning!
Amen 🌼
🙏
Thank you Father! 😃🌸
As always very interesting and I learn a lot!😃❤
Praise God, very glad to hear it!
Thankyou Fr Columba. I needed to here this. It really helped me out. The timing is impeccable
See you soon
Praise God, so glad this could be helpful!
This is perfect, Fr. Columba. Thank you for elucidating it so clearly. I've had that conversation with so many people when they ask, 'why does God allow evil' and while it seems easy to understand that this is a function of free will, most people are not satisfied with that. You explain in crystalline clarity. I'll be glad to point them to you. God bless you always. i learn so much from you.
Also guilty of wanting to change things that are not mine to change (nor am I capable of it! but doesn't stop me from wanting to ). Thank you for calling me out and giving me a better way to enter into those moments.
Thank you for the kind words!
God bless you!
God always has the final say.
Amen.
🙏🏻🕊❤️🔥Thank you dear Father❤️🔥🕊🙏🏻
💙💙💙
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Praying for everyone 🤗
And we for you 🙏🙏
Thanks Father for your beautiful reflection
May the Lord continue to pour His Holy Spirit over you.
In Christ
Thank you, Francis. God bless.
Hi fr really lately only I’ve realised that yes let Lord take control over things that I can do nothing about except prayer.. I do pray for it though and it does seem to lift off such a burden off you! Thanks for this reminder.. keep me in your prayers 🙏🏼😇
Thank you
Very useful, as always 😊 and thank you very much for speaking more slowly this time 😄
You’re welcome!
thank you for clarifying the nature of freedom --
You’re welcome.
Patience faith in God power wait God time hope patience faith and confidence in God love for you
Thanks for watching, Raimundo.
Yay! Serenity prayer!
Thank you Father. Really struggling at the moment with self esteem and trying to read into thoughts of others. This really highlighted to me the Serenity Prayer.
You’re in our prayers, Ann, and very glad this has been somewhat helpful.
🙏🕊🌹🕯❤️ God bless you Father 🙏🕊🌹🕯❤️
God bless you, Jane.
Thank you Father a great homily!
Glad you think so!
Excellent! Thank you!
You’re welcome, Linda.
Gerry's looking great!🪴
He’s the real star!
Thanks! I really needed to hear this today.
So glad to hear it, Ben. 💙
The last phrase resumed it all ❤️ god bless you brother 🙏🏻 we need more warriors like you
God bless you, Daniel.
Thank you father.
💙
Thank you Father, a difficult area for us expressed so easily.
You are very welcome.
Without free will, there can be no love of God. How could God not give us free will?
Exactly.
@@rjskeptic5273 Yes, of course you can. But love of God is different than love of your spouse or love of your puppy.
Love of God is a act of the will, not an act of emotion. It is an intellectual love more than emotional love. It is an intentional turning toward God.
It is not the same as the emotional, endearing, giddy feeling you might feel toward a puppy or a spouse, even though we use the same word, “love”, in both cases.
I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Glad to hear it!
Great message! Thank you.
You’re welcome!
I wonder father, how we could live in a society most people believe controlling is good for them?
Good video.
I sure needed to hear this. Thank you!
So glad you found it. God bless you!
What a helpful talk.real help for each day to exercise these
Points that will make us saints.thank you FATHER
Thank you!
Thank you Father for this precious advice. ❤
You’re very welcome!
Thank you great video 🙏🏼❤️
🙏🙏
thanks for the videos 💚
Thanks for watching!
Thanks!
Thank you so much for supporting us!
Thank you very much!
A pleasure!
Thank-you for the video father. Could you also give us a talk on "How to deny yourself" as in Mathew 16:24. Thanks in advance.
Great suggestion. We’ll definitely cover that!
Thank you it is so clear ! God bless you.
Glad it was helpful! God bless you.
very helpful thank you
You're welcome!
Really aesthetic intro!
Thank you!
Not to try to change others.
Exactly 🙏
❤ Jerry!
💙
Great explanation!
Thank you.
@@ctmcatholic just curious - do you teach obedience to our Saviour, Jesus Christ per John 14:15?
if so, do you honor and keep Exodus 20:8-11 ?
thanks for your reply.
Sometimes, i still dont know how to react to people with “bad mouth”. Very annoying and hurting. I dont like to respond with anger but seems they are blind to read my-dont like-expression.
It’s a challenge for sure. I wonder if it’s possible to kill the bad behaviour with kindness?
@@ctmcatholic last time… i think my angel whispered to me…haha. I almost lost control…but somehow…. I heard in my head,”mock them and dont care too much if they are angry.” Then, I turned their annoying attitude by “mocking” them back. It looked like joking but i showed them that i dont care whatever you say or want from me. You will not get it. I am always nice to them, frater, but I dont know…it makes them feel the can press me or talking in unpleasant way (and wording). It is like they want me to bend my head before them… i think we can imagine ppl who like to be treated that way. So, i am not sure if being kind to them is a good idea. I think, this kind of ppl are too toxic.
Sometimes, not some, but always actually… how come Jesus and saints can be so patient? I wonder if Lord ever angry with toxic people, frater?
Thank you!
You’re welcome.
Coming from a period of atheism and now being interested in Christian spirituality, I am trying to "translate" some of the spiritual advice I read into terms that make sense to a non-believer.
Today, I came up with an explanation of "giving things to God when you're struggling with them".
We humans have a desire to explain everything and often have a standard method for doing things.
If you are struggling with something, chances are you're doing something wrong and you have no idea what it is, or what you should change.
The problem then arises that you are stuck in the wrong method or come up with one that doesn't work.
A more sensible approach would then be a trial and error method. By handing the problem over to God, you're then basically saying "I really don't know what to do", loosening your connection with the old, wrong method, preventing that you come up with a bad new one, and making you open to trying new things.
A Christian would then say that the new things that actually work come from God, while a non-believer might just call it chance. Anyway, the same approach, choosing not to consciously try to solve the problem while keeping the goal of solving it in mind will give you a fighting chance at success.
That’s an interesting thought, thank you for sharing. I do also think when we try to explain away God (whether or not that’s what you’re recommending) we’re left with trying to force human explanations on things that only make sense with God in the equation.
@@ctmcatholic It was certainly not my intention to explain away God. I currently find myself in a world between unbelief and faith, uncertain about how to choose between the two.
I don't think that all Christian spirituality can make sense to unbelievers, but I do believe that some of it can, that a sort of translation is possible. This is kind of inspired by "The rule of St Benedict for beginners" by Wil Derkse, which is a modern interpretation of Benedict's rule. The author is a Catholic, but much of what he wrote certainly had value for everyone. The chapter on Benedictine time management is an absolute gem.
Also, when I was an atheist, I felt that religion had some value that was somehow lost by throwing it away and I tried, at times, to identify and recover what that was. Also, I saw religion basically dying in my country and, for similar reasons, the loss of the heritage troubled me.
You also might say that these translations I try to make are a kind of stepping stone for me to bridge the gap between faith and unbelief. I also hope that these "translations" may at one point enable a dialogue between believers and non-believers. It is so easy to condemn the other side, rather than look for things in common.
I don't believe that people are atheists, because they want to sin, as is said quite often. When I became an agnostic, it was out of a need for intellectual honesty, more than anything else, and I chose it in spite of a fear that it might send me to hell.
As a fellow former atheist, my only advice to you is to consider ancient philosophy and all subsequent grand philosophical thought that is today thought of erroneously as secular as, in fact, all based entirely on good faith, from Plato to Neitzsche. There's a good reason why knowing God is called gnosis, because on a reductive and flatly logical level, to "know" anything is to hold faith in this idea that does not physically exist, yet you know it and can recognise it when it is in your presence. All the great thinkers that atheists pore over and worship and put faith in today would be *reviled* at the sight of a faithless philosophical word, including certainly Neitzsche, who noted correctly there there are no facts, only interpretations, and that "God was dead". I say was because I believe wholeheartedly secular thought is coming to an end and we will be moving forward into a re-renaissance, hence God being brought back to life.
I still don't believe in a magic man in the sky. I do, however, put all my faith and trust in all the great men who came before me, most of all Christ Jesus, God made flesh, and his most graceful and immeasurably glorious sacrifice. This is all deeply logically consistent. Blessings to you, brother.
@@dextersynesterformerlysorb5334 I think that you have progessed further on the path towards faith then I have. I have watched and read many debates and arguments between believers (mainly Christian) and non-believers. In the end, I became disappointed, first with the apologists, next with the unbelievers.
I found that any argument for the existence of God can be taken apart with relative ease, and next that apologetics is a form of pseudoscience, wanting to find proof for previously held beliefs, rather than testing those beliefs.
Then I found the offerings of atheists similarly meager and I realised that atheism and belief are what Kuhn called different paradigms. They are more or less consistent within themselves, but they have no power to refute the other, because they are based on different, untestable assumptions.
My conclusion was that there is only one way to decide between the two: experience them both from the inside and then make a personal choice. I feel that I have gone all the way with atheism, but left Christianity at too young an age to do the same properly, so I'm trying to do that now.
Trying out Christianity is a hard thing to do, because there's a deep chasm you need to cross and the going is very slow because of it, due to many, many doubts.
One might argue that, apart from Christianity, one should experience other religions from the inside as well. But I neither have the time, nor the inclination. My alternative is to say that I don't really understand other religions and I feel that I need to try to be humble about judging them.
Also, the chasm I see is between unbelief and religion and I don't think that these other religions are totally wrong. But they are quite alien to me, so I just feel that the coat of Christianity will fit me better.
These are my meager ramblings, but I hope that you will find some use in them.
@@diedertspijkerboer for all of that, I may simply say that religion fills a deep psychological hole and provides a sense of home, if one was raised a certain way, in a certain culture, with a certain God. I thank my atheist mother for reading me the Lord's prayer at night, for that alone spurs that feeling within me. I'm sure from your description you have a nostalgic connection to it, too. Embrace it for what it is.
Yes, control is good but only combined with Chastity!! :)
Can anyone tell me the song name from the beginning?
It’s called Escape by Theevs.
@@ctmcatholic Thank you very much. God bless you!
❤❤❤
I would suggest, as well,
Keep your Caholic practices, I love the Latin Mass and the Rosary is a miracle worker. Jesus will always honor anything His Mother asks.
God bless you!
Really Enjoy this guy very strong in the word.. but I have one question do you respect the sabbath law?
Glad you’re enjoying this series. As a practicing Catholic religious, he does. Fr Columba is a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal. His order live very humble aesthetic lives with lots of prayer and service to the poor. If you’re interested in what his day looks like, here’s a video on just that: ua-cam.com/video/euwjN1368BE/v-deo.html