Back in 2020 i was never sober I was losing my mind…. losing my time…. I wanted to make things feel fine Kept running in circles, from the divine these drugs only had me defined I looked for the signs… Young boy… didn’t know how to live life couldn’t look me in the eye Couldn’t trust a thing I say That was my way I was living a double life, to my grave Songs filled with profanity I would stay up and write my insanity no way this was my reality I was getting higher than my salary Now I’m looking at the gallery Painting pictures in my head Should I really give up and go to bed …. I wanted peace of mind drugs I was defined… I was ignoring the signs I put others first… That was my main curse I was losing my time…Losing my mind I was living risky babe All the mistakes that I made, had me going through these things everyday Just give me the blame. The money don’t feel the same I was feeling so drained I didn’t want anyone to think I was lame never with the drama Always running up these commas At the end of the day I just want things to be okay losing my mind losing all my time by these drugs I was defined Chains on my wrist I was bound by this only holding myself back Somehow I got on the wrong track It sucks looking at my past Back in 2020 I was losing my mind losing my time I wanted to make things feel fine Just wanted to make things feel fine Kept running in circles from the divine I looked for the signs No longer… I’m defined
Facts Graduations for being the first comment of a rap I can actually rap these other people shi sounds so cheeks when I try to rap it but I could actually see yo rhythm sachem so I fw it
Most times i just feel like my mind dont function the same way as ev'ryone else around me does and till it goes on an blows up into anothe eruption throwing me into so many diff-er-ent sorts of emotions im stuck in the middle of 2 signs born February, nineteen th so im a Pisces on the cusp of being an aquari-us life stays in a unstable way constantly stays in a state of prerecarious-ness so i stay very wary of people i choose to let closest to me constantly desperately keep on feelin the need to please all of these people that i dont even know perso-n-ally but dont get it twisted cuz if you keep on testin me then keep on bumpin yo gums and ill unleash the demon beast inside of me just to show you somethin' so keep ur negative energy and any assumptions that you may have of me far away cuz that shit really wont help u if he starts on comin ima just stay calm while my mind's comprisin scenarios so scary that despite my anxieties ill still frightnen the shit and surprised any an' ev-er-ybody like with this beat and my rhymes my rage are so hot my flows conduction and most times i think this mental dysfunction that makes itill harder to find people i can trust in that wont leave out of nowhere or disappear just to fuck me over for nothin so like a mental terrorist ima have to declare mental warfare on this shit leave you in a state of desrepair despair causing so much destruction like an interplanetary disruption cuz this expansive imagination of mine may be obfuscating to most of those i reproach but ill still have no compunction tho i act so grandiose im such a disgrace cause i chose to turn to the streets for my medication i try to keep my mind preoccupied yes tho i know that my focus becomeso self-engrossed like a self-diagnosed dementophobic so most times my days are spent stayin barely coherent to try and drown out the sound of these demons who keep on trying to break my spirit was raised up like a saint then then somehow grew up an' turned into a satan the voices are faint but still there its apparent bc i can still fuckin hear 'em so i gotta stay awake so i can be aware and prepared cuz the people out there i gotta be beware of their manipulatins prone to sanguination so ===i gotta realize that ev-ery trial or tribulation is there to revitazliexze but i am trying my hardest to actually make that change and so i started meditation, not really religious but i still find myself praying, disassociatin' myself from those situations so my catharsis is drivin ' thru my newfound passion of this written artistic creation bc real recognizes real and so i realized that those with real eyes can realize that most the population are the ones tellin us the real lies so in order for me to ignore it i just destigmatize and start embracing the situation im in until its something im no longer faced with bc i hear them when they all say under the breath "they can't handle my intensity" or "hes just such a challenging entityunbalanced brain chemistry" "he has all this talent but inds the energy" and i aint go no malevolent tendencies, just eclectic propensities, cuz i respect those who show the same respect to me constantly afflicted, melancholy, addicted, a convicted felon that i use as an an excuse to be feckless but still got clemency codeine dependency, smokin trees religiously, words spoken invoking a spine tingling imagery without the need to embellish personalitys' bilateral i mean at the very least 2 or 3 typepersonalities inside of me that most folks will discern as another product of being an addict when its actually a disability, so i am reluctantly timid, anxious and apprehensive, abundant yet remissive admit i go a little bit insane when it seems your brain isnt conveying me as intelligent dismissed or if im being dissed rapidlly becomes very truculent spaced out but always paying attention tho my brain stays in some other dimension bc i can be so analytical, self centered and critical, eccentric with these lyrics im saying and maybe i am very loquacious, silent yet audacious, flirtatious, gracious, altruistic with vivacious characteristics, loyal and committed yet my world view is pessimistic, know that im egotistic which makes me a bit vexatious, inherently ambivalent, internally ridiculing myself bc sometimes i can be entirely incompetent, to some i may be irrelevant, yes i can be very devious, def been mischievious, a dysphoric delerious and destitute, metaphorically meterotic, melodic, comical and idiotic, at times a comic tho that sounds so ironic like being a genius who is actually idiotic, tendency to be a little psychotic, not insane nor crazy but can't always control my overacting, i guess to i was born like that naturally
burnt bridges just so we could say good bye again you finding me, it really saved my life from death step into my cell & make yourself at home in your arms, where itd oesnt feel like Hell no more I still believe I still believe wander through these shadows through a storm thats darker than your heart i had to keep on walking incomplete when i was torn apart you put me back together, like a puzzle with a missing piece, show me what im worth and pave the road red to a different me i dont wanna let go, know i say it but that isnt me, I want a reason i should stay if This shit isnt meant to be What have i become My conscience asks while staring in the mirror In a maze thats broken On a ride that wasnt meant to steer You’re my gravity So wont you hold me back, You’re the teardrop Falling on my photograph in the darkness Even when the lighter isn’t sparking The middle of the nights Still so much brighter than my heart is He’s jaded Waiting for the day that someone saves him, He isnt sure if love is real But knows that all the pain is Help me hold on, Show me that i have a purpose Everybody leaves Its only this i know for certain I wont cry for help You’d probably think that Im a burden Like a carnival of souls He screams and shrieks but no one heard him Why wont you just quit What is it that you see in me? Im lightning you’re the thunder Hit a lick & i dont need the key
(Lighting up sounds) (tag) It’s crazy when a bitch die you ain’t ever see them again. I don’t even know what to say I just hope the pain heals. Like Tell me how it feels let me inside I pray. I even told you i was gonna call you. Call You that day Now I’m Stuck feeling someway speeding down the freeway. I don’t get it how Am I to be okay. I should’ve told you I loved you before you end up in a grave. No i Shouldn’t have wait tell that day now I ache But What would I say if I knew you needed to be saved. I take it We are all Stuck enslaved in this game of life. But all we got is our name. So strive to make something out of it. Find something that makes your soul lit and keeps it lit. Don’t chase anyone if they aren’t gonna make it even. Read a book or find something to believe in. Because they’ll take your soul and leave you bleeding. But I promise You’re always needed. The Demons will take over if they go untreated. Gotta go get treatment If you frequent thoughts of death. Just Take a breath.Sometimes breathe n listen a beat. At times all you can do is sleep. Don’t worry about a misstep you gotta keep stepping. Just gotta keep stepping. Everyday a blessing. So fuck what makes you depressed start progressing. Cut people off who keep you guessing. Compressing my friend group. No I don’t need you in my loop. I’m stressing about what bridge to burned next. Oops I Never should’ve sent that stupid ass text. But I guess tears will dry and years will fly by. Yeah years fly by. Just make sure in your story you die the good guy. Don’t chase glory and don’t chase lies. I chase being higher than the sky. Sometimes you gotta be okay saying goodbye. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry. But you can never explain why. No nooo you can never explain why. Cuz it’s been One year since you died. Dammit just Wish you would’ve told me how it feels. Well I mean I know how it feels but I just wish you could’ve asked for help healing. Now I’m stuck battling these demons alone. Still waiting for you don’t go. Yeah you Still got a spot at my home. Fuck wish I could call your phone and ask you how it goin. I hope you made it to heaven actually i know it. One day youll to show me it. Used to be a couple misfits but now I’m just alone in this bitch. So I chase hits. Hoping to top charts. This shit ain’t art it’s my life story. Ohhh poor me. Naw I looking for your sympathy. N your empathy means nothing to me without honor. Dammit god why’d you make him a goner. Dammit god why. Why’d take him. He was just a victim. Aren’t your angles supposed to protect us from these demons. Sorry sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s all the devils fault. But why do we still gotta wait like we in a vault. Not trying to add salt to what I said. I just miss the dead. Constantly fighting in my own head. Sometimes I just wish I could go to bed. Left the devil unread. But my Head still wonders. I still ponder over what brought u too your knees that day. I’m never sober no I don’t know what to say. Sadly im never sober mind stuck in its way. Cant even get a demon to go away. Can’t even get an angel to stay. By the end Numbers have been deleted. A new deep seated hatred takes over what was once lovers. What’s the saying never love another. Whatever imma fall harder. It’s cuz I’m human and I want someone to illuminate the stars with me. It was gonna be my og but done he od. I was supposed to stop taking pills but I can’t stop chasing thrills. Stuck in a pickle like I’m dill. Hoping I can make it to the top of the hill. Hoping one day I can stand tall for my kids. I do it all for them. I don’t even have em yet. Gotta cover my kids debt and then my kids kids gotta make sure I do it right. Teach them about the one above. Grandma taught me how to love and caught my tears when Id cry. When I die I hope I can make it to your side n thank you for giving me this drive. You had goals but had your limits well my ability is limitless. Not saying yours wasn’t just different time. Gotta keep that in mind. Wish i would’ve let me in your mind. Since than Mankind has started its decline. But we still got time to rewind. Gotta get it back like a spine. Dodging attacks trying to rerhyme. Gotta push my way back to the front of the line. Still Chasing the next high. Said I was gonna get sober. But I said that last October. Maybe that goals over. Maybe this songs over feels like I’ve been rambling on forever. Never say you can’t do it. Just go do it. What for the outcome. It will come. Don’t sit in your bed numb chase the income. None of that no see um. That will crumble your life. It’s like a knife to your heart. I think I have said enough it’s time to part.
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Im finna write to this.
The Nelly beat in it is fire
Anh chỉ là một tên ngốc là người từng làm cho em khóc
Mang cho e những nổi buồn
Mang cho e những nổi đau
Một lần xin em tha thứ
Chẳng có gì là khó đâu
oh my days
HEAT
Back in 2020 i was never sober
I was losing my mind….
losing my time….
I wanted to make things feel fine
Kept running in circles, from the divine
these drugs only had me defined
I looked for the signs…
Young boy… didn’t know how to live life
couldn’t look me in the eye
Couldn’t trust a thing I say
That was my way
I was living a double life, to my grave
Songs filled with profanity
I would stay up and write my insanity
no way this was my reality
I was getting higher than my salary
Now I’m looking at the gallery
Painting pictures in my head
Should I really give up
and go to bed ….
I wanted peace of mind
drugs I was defined…
I was ignoring the signs
I put others first… That was my main curse
I was losing my time…Losing my mind
I was living risky babe
All the mistakes that I made, had me going through these things everyday
Just give me the blame.
The money don’t feel the same
I was feeling so drained
I didn’t want anyone to think I was lame
never with the drama
Always running up these commas
At the end of the day
I just want things to be okay
losing my mind
losing all my time
by these drugs I was defined
Chains on my wrist
I was bound by this
only holding myself back
Somehow I got on the wrong track
It sucks looking at my past
Back in 2020 I was losing my mind
losing my time
I wanted to make things feel fine
Just wanted to make things feel fine
Kept running in circles from the divine
I looked for the signs
No longer… I’m defined
Facts
Graduations for being the first comment of a rap I can actually rap these other people shi sounds so cheeks when I try to rap it but I could actually see yo rhythm sachem so I fw it
What are the time stamps for the verses and chorus , i tried figuring them out but either there is a long ass verse or im doing it wrong
Code you did yo Thang on here 💯 Here to give you flowers for a legend in the makin 🌼
Thanks everyone, I haven’t wrote anything in a while now, just seeing this now
Most times
i just feel like my mind dont function the same way as ev'ryone else around me does and
till it goes on an blows up into anothe eruption
throwing me into so many diff-er-ent sorts of emotions
im
stuck in the middle
of 2 signs
born February, nineteen th
so im a Pisces on the cusp of being an aquari-us
life stays in a unstable way
constantly stays in a state of prerecarious-ness
so i stay very wary of people i choose to let closest to me
constantly desperately keep on feelin the need to please
all of these people that i dont even know perso-n-ally
but dont get it twisted
cuz if you keep on testin me
then keep on bumpin yo gums and ill unleash the demon beast inside of me just to show you somethin'
so keep ur negative energy and any assumptions that you may have of me far away cuz that shit really wont help u if he starts on comin
ima just stay calm while my mind's comprisin scenarios so scary that despite my anxieties ill still frightnen the shit and surprised any an' ev-er-ybody
like with this beat and my rhymes my rage are so hot
my flows conduction
and most times i think this mental dysfunction
that makes itill harder to find people i can trust in
that wont leave out of nowhere
or disappear just to fuck me over for nothin
so like a mental terrorist ima have to declare mental warfare on this shit
leave you in a state of desrepair
despair
causing so much destruction
like an interplanetary disruption
cuz this expansive imagination of mine
may be obfuscating to most of those i reproach but ill still have no compunction tho i act so grandiose
im such a disgrace cause i chose to turn to the streets for my medication
i try to keep my mind preoccupied
yes tho i know that my focus becomeso self-engrossed
like a self-diagnosed dementophobic
so most times my days are spent stayin barely coherent to try and drown out the sound of these demons who keep on trying to break my spirit
was raised up like a saint then then somehow grew up an' turned into a satan
the voices are faint but still there
its apparent bc i can still fuckin hear 'em
so i gotta stay awake
so i can be aware and prepared cuz the people out there i gotta be beware of their manipulatins
prone to sanguination
so ===i
gotta realize that ev-ery trial or tribulation is there to revitazliexze
but i am trying my hardest to actually make that change and
so i started meditation, not really religious but i still find myself praying, disassociatin' myself from those situations
so my catharsis is drivin ' thru my newfound passion of this written artistic creation
bc real recognizes real and so i realized that those with real eyes can realize that most the population are the ones tellin us the real lies
so in order for me to ignore it i just destigmatize and start embracing the situation im in until its something im no longer faced with
bc i hear them when they all say under the breath "they can't handle my intensity" or "hes just such a challenging entityunbalanced brain chemistry"
"he has all this talent but inds the energy"
and i aint go no malevolent tendencies, just eclectic propensities, cuz i respect those who show the same respect to me
constantly afflicted, melancholy, addicted, a convicted felon that i use as an an excuse to be feckless but still got clemency
codeine dependency, smokin trees religiously, words spoken invoking a spine tingling imagery without the need to embellish
personalitys' bilateral
i mean at the very least 2 or 3 typepersonalities inside of me that most folks will discern as another product of being an addict when its actually a disability,
so i am reluctantly timid, anxious and apprehensive, abundant yet remissive
admit i go a little bit insane when it seems your brain isnt conveying me as intelligent dismissed or if im being dissed rapidlly becomes very truculent
spaced out but always paying attention tho my brain stays in some other dimension bc i can be
so
analytical, self centered and critical, eccentric with these lyrics im saying
and maybe i am very loquacious, silent yet audacious, flirtatious, gracious, altruistic with vivacious characteristics, loyal and committed
yet my world view is pessimistic, know that im egotistic which makes me a bit vexatious, inherently ambivalent, internally ridiculing myself bc sometimes i can be entirely incompetent, to some i may be irrelevant, yes i can be very devious, def been mischievious, a dysphoric delerious and destitute, metaphorically meterotic, melodic, comical and idiotic, at times a comic tho that sounds so ironic like being a genius who is actually idiotic, tendency to be a little psychotic, not insane nor crazy but can't always control my overacting, i guess to i was born like that naturally
burnt bridges
just so we could say good bye again
you finding me, it really saved my life from death
step into my cell
& make yourself at home
in your arms, where itd oesnt feel like Hell no more
I still believe
I still believe
wander through these shadows
through a storm thats darker than your heart
i had to keep on walking incomplete
when i was torn apart
you put me back together,
like a puzzle with a missing piece,
show me what im worth
and pave the road red to a different me
i dont wanna let go,
know i say it but that isnt me,
I want a reason i should stay if
This shit isnt meant to be
What have i become
My conscience asks while staring in the mirror
In a maze thats broken
On a ride that wasnt meant to steer
You’re my gravity
So wont you hold me back,
You’re the teardrop
Falling on my photograph
in the darkness
Even when the lighter isn’t sparking
The middle of the nights
Still so much brighter than my heart is
He’s jaded
Waiting for the day that someone saves him,
He isnt sure if love is real
But knows that all the pain is
Help me hold on,
Show me that i have a purpose
Everybody leaves
Its only this i know for certain
I wont cry for help
You’d probably think that Im a burden
Like a carnival of souls
He screams and shrieks but no one heard him
Why wont you just quit
What is it that you see in me?
Im lightning you’re the thunder
Hit a lick & i dont need the key
i like it
I’m gonna buy this soon, I made a crisis so out of this track
(Lighting up sounds) (tag)
It’s crazy when a bitch die you ain’t ever see them again. I don’t even know what to say I just hope the pain heals. Like
Tell me how it feels let me inside I pray.
I even told you i was gonna call you.
Call You that day
Now I’m Stuck feeling someway speeding down the freeway.
I don’t get it how Am I to be okay. I should’ve told you I loved you before you end up in a grave.
No i Shouldn’t have wait tell that day now I ache But What would I say if I knew you needed to be saved.
I take it We are all Stuck enslaved in this game of life. But all we got is our name.
So strive to make something out of it. Find something that makes your soul lit and keeps it lit.
Don’t chase anyone if they aren’t gonna make it even. Read a book or find something to believe in.
Because they’ll take your soul and leave you bleeding. But I promise You’re always needed.
The Demons will take over if they go untreated. Gotta go get treatment If you frequent thoughts of death.
Just Take a breath.Sometimes breathe n listen a beat. At times all you can do is sleep.
Don’t worry about a misstep you gotta keep stepping. Just gotta keep stepping. Everyday a blessing. So fuck what makes you depressed start progressing. Cut people off who keep you guessing.
Compressing my friend group. No I don’t need you in my loop.
I’m stressing about what bridge to burned next. Oops I Never should’ve sent that stupid ass text. But I guess tears will dry and years will fly by.
Yeah years fly by. Just make sure in your story you die the good guy.
Don’t chase glory and don’t chase lies. I chase being higher than the sky.
Sometimes you gotta be okay saying goodbye. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry.
But you can never explain why.
No nooo you can never explain why.
Cuz it’s been One year since you died.
Dammit just Wish you would’ve told me how it feels. Well I mean I know how it feels but I just wish you could’ve asked for help healing.
Now I’m stuck battling these demons alone. Still waiting for you don’t go. Yeah you Still got a spot at my home.
Fuck wish I could call your phone and ask you how it goin.
I hope you made it to heaven actually i know it. One day youll to show me it.
Used to be a couple misfits but now I’m just alone in this bitch.
So I chase hits. Hoping to top charts. This shit ain’t art it’s my life story.
Ohhh poor me. Naw I looking for your sympathy. N your empathy means nothing to me without honor.
Dammit god why’d you make him a goner. Dammit god why.
Why’d take him. He was just a victim. Aren’t your angles supposed to protect us from these demons.
Sorry sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s all the devils fault. But why do we still gotta wait like we in a vault.
Not trying to add salt to what I said. I just miss the dead.
Constantly fighting in my own head. Sometimes I just wish I could go to bed.
Left the devil unread. But my Head still wonders. I still ponder over what brought u too your knees that day.
I’m never sober no I don’t know what to say. Sadly im never sober mind stuck in its way.
Cant even get a demon to go away. Can’t even get an angel to stay.
By the end Numbers have been deleted. A new deep seated hatred takes over what was once lovers. What’s the saying never love another. Whatever imma fall harder.
It’s cuz I’m human and I want someone to illuminate the stars with me. It was gonna be my og but done he od.
I was supposed to stop taking pills but I can’t stop chasing thrills. Stuck in a pickle like I’m dill.
Hoping I can make it to the top of the hill. Hoping one day I can stand tall for my kids.
I do it all for them. I don’t even have em yet. Gotta cover my kids debt and then my kids kids gotta make sure I do it right. Teach them about the one above.
Grandma taught me how to love and caught my tears when Id cry. When I die I hope I can make it to your side n thank you for giving me this drive.
You had goals but had your limits well my ability is limitless. Not saying yours wasn’t just different time.
Gotta keep that in mind. Wish i would’ve let me in your mind. Since than Mankind has started its decline.
But we still got time to rewind. Gotta get it back like a spine.
Dodging attacks trying to rerhyme. Gotta push my way back to the front of the line. Still Chasing the next high. Said I was gonna get sober.
But I said that last October. Maybe that goals over.
Maybe this songs over feels like I’ve been rambling on forever. Never say you can’t do it.
Just go do it. What for the outcome. It will come.
Don’t sit in your bed numb chase the income. None of that no see um.
That will crumble your life. It’s like a knife to your heart. I think I have said enough it’s time to part.
Beautiful
fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Bad ass beat keep it up !!! 🔥🔥🔥
NAZEEM will rise this 2024
I cant find the beat for purchase 🤔 it's blank🫠?
hit my dm on ig: @beatsbykbeatz
Ight just lmk
This tuff lets work
🔥
this might be my last song ima take my ass on dont worry baby worry baby cuz daddy's strong im telling you now im coming home
Freestyle recorded!!! Send your email so i can have it sent to you