5 REASONS THE INFJ IS SLOWER THAN AVERAGE (& winning because of it)
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- Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Get ready to discover the five reasons why INFJs are a bit slower than the rest - and why that's actually a winning trait. Sure, we may take our time navigating through life, but that doesn't mean we can't get things done. Our laid-back nature doesn't hinder us from achieving results. Now, here's the catch: many INFJs feel insecure about this. I've met countless INFJs who constantly doubt their abilities, thinking they can't keep up with others. This self-doubt becomes a vicious cycle, turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy. But fear not, because in this discussion, we'll debunk these doubts and show how being a "slowpoke" can work to our advantage. So, sit back, relax, and embrace the inner wins of being an INFJ.
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What have some of your experiences been where you have succeeded BECAUSE of your "slow" nature?
When near a flower or a golden sun or a butterfly etc... these remain recorded in my heart , but the concrete things of life nowadays seems less than secondary to me may be my vision tells me that what is good has to be loved and this might be the cause of this good slowness
I can hold onto a ticking time bomb until the last possible second. It always surprises people that I was holding onto the thing that destroyed the thing I threw it at. Usually because I had ample reasons to throw it, but I waited for the moment where the other could not avoid it (or throw it back).
I was insulted today for bieng slow and guess what Wenzes explains it to me the same day🎉
@@raft115 nevermind slow is fast!
When others assume something blindly and I was running scenarios, there were a few times where I managed to see the bigger picture from afar. But the side of actual slow movement even when my mind is made up; that has been less times that I can recall; the fact that I make sure the paperwork is correct, or the plan is solid, or even that others around me are headed in the same direction for the shared goal, has helped me to either continue going the right way, or better pace myself for fuller, more complete, achievement.
I prefer to say "I take a measured approach" rather than "slow".
I find it a more accurate statement.
I'm stealing this "measured approach" - Us INFJs and our cleverness 😊
@@DearYoungerSelf111 😁 yup. We're good like that ♥
I am that rare INFJ workaholic; despite my exception to normally slower reflective INFJs, I do not move nor act on anything unless I have considered all new angles of a new situation, set up a method of attack, practice a lot, then set things in motion. Things that I have ample experience doing are done efficiently and quite quickly; new things take far longer than most in typical INFJ methods of reflection and testing possibilities in thought before making a move. Quicker people will get frustrated when I demand to stop and check something that was missed by others. As I got older with experience and a lot of reading, I think faster to consider all sides to then make choices faster to take action. Still, that extraverted driving push to the world stage is certainly not my style nor my preference to taking my sweet time at times as I see fit. Others may call us INFJs indecisive, lazy, or procrastinators but we have our reasons to reflect; the trick is to be certain to complete the square choosing a path and move to act on that plan.
I always think of the INFJ process is rather like an hourglass. We prefer to be wide open for information (the top & bottom of the hourglass) where we can run all that data through our intuition & gain insights from it. But as we work a problem or make a plan, we have to narrow that openness down. By the time we reach actual action or decision, we have do so with an unrivaled level of focus, efficiency & clarity. That's that middle part of the hourglass where each grain of sand passes from one zone to another.
And as we reflect on the actions we took, we move back into our preferred wide open information-gathering mode (the bottom of the hourglass).
We need to understand & be proud of that action in the middle that we take when we take it. No other type can act with such comprehensive consideration regardless of the complexity of the issue.
It's one reason why INFJs can make such amazing team leads - they make every member feel heard and, once the vision is acted on & success achieved - can make sure each member sees where their contributions made a difference.
It's a real gift!
Well put.
Underrated comment
I feel lucky to be an INFJ with your eloquent picture of how we make decisions❤
That's a beautiful analogy👍🏻
The issue about us moving slow is that the world punishes us for not moving like the rest of them. Our parents, teachers and others use what "society" does and says as a measuring stick and then beat us over the head with it lol. Man how i sought to teach the world that i dont have to follow them to become successful. Yes we do move slow and in my motion im able to see the full scope of it all, rather than just remembering that 3x5 equals 15😂
This is so true. And I believe the USA is the ultimate example of it.
I go through cycles of workaholic and letting things slide until they absolutely need to be done. Recovering from procrastination sometimes generates the most creative thinking.
I have learned to never compare myself to other people. We INFJs are SO rare it's quite difficult to find anyone you can accurately compare yourself to, anyway. Besides, it's just not healthy to compare yourself. Be who YOU are. Let the others be NOT you. Be different, you are. If that still bothers you then go study Codependency Recovery until you start to dream about it. Peace.
I have my very own, very personal goals. Society can absolutely fuck right off !! I’m dirt poor and on Social Security and am happy as clam. I live in subsidized housing and drive an older (paid for) car. I have absolute freedom and nothing but my OWN time and I love it. I don’t measure myself by others, I NEVER have !!
I wasted so much time believing I was a failure because it takes me so long to learn things. Opportunities for learning and growth I didn't take because I was convinced I wasn't good enough. Then I slowly began to realize that I was capable of doing things and getting better. Then I learned about MBTI, my type, and the exponential learning curve, and it all finally made sense. Now I am seizing my power, acting on my vision, and ignoring those who taught me I am nothing and continue to do so.
The Tortoise and the Hare
Most people arent 'Driven', they're DRAGGED! they are dragged by peer pressure and their insecurities and when they are 'successful' by societies standards they are just passing off necessity for virtue.
Great video 👏🏻
Spot-on!
Reading your note, A quote by John O’Donohue came to mind (book:Anam Cara):
“There is a sinister eviction taking place; people’s lives are being dragged outwards all the time.”
10 yrs ago i walked the Camino Santiago de Compostela (from Lisboa/Portugal all the way north to SdC). Took me one month exactly and mostly walked alone as I know my pacing is measured, not hasty at all. I called myself ‘Squadra Lumaca” The snail team 🐌.
I loved hearing the reeds moving with the wind at the river bank, the crunching of pebbles when walking, the clapping of storks, and whatever else the day featured at any given day.
And, i might add: i heard countless tales of being who walked with other who were either walking at a slower or faster pace they themselves would have chosen - and most of that resulted in injuries and numerous blisters. I had none.
Thanks again for your note - really appreciated.
This was an excellent explanation of our "slowness." I remember driving my family crazy with mine. Like many INFJs, I'm not a genius with details but when I take things at a slow steady pace, I catch a lot of them that I never would if I tried to hurry up. And actually, after a lifetime of using pattern recognition I was able to keep up with my coworkers - sort of.
I was really struck by your second point, namely that we don't give in to peer pressure. I loved these three points you made.
1. We don't play games that don't make sense to us.
2. We don't have the drive to fit in.
3. We're OK to be by ourselves and stand alone.
It took me a long time to learn that it's actually okay and even mentally healthy to have these attitudes. For me, it took living my freshman and sophomore years in a college dorm to learn that. I think introversion is more accepted now than it was back then; I grew up in a very "extrovert ideal" environment.
This one is worth reviewing a lot!
Yes this one was a great one Linda! All of us in our 50s or older grew up in that "extrovert ideal" environment. I never even heard the terms extrovert or introvert until I was in my 30s. Susan Cain and others really did spark a revolution. Also all the tech "nerds" who now run many of the big businesses. All mostly introverts. So society has had to at least acknowledge us now unlike back in the Bob Hope era!
101% on that.. We get an emotional high from just imagining things.. Thank you Wenzes!!!
5 REASONS THE INFJ IS SLOWER THAN AVERAGE (& winning because of it)
2:06
Reason #1
We don't make rash emotional decesions
4:30
Reason #2
We don't give in to peer pressure
7:20
Reason #3
We're cerebral beings
9:46
Reason #4
We have finite energy
12:10
Reason #5
We work with pattern recognition
School stresses speed and memorization so much at early ages that I of course felt like a failure by the time I reached high school.
Its not about how fast we work to get the job done. But how we handle it calmly. We use our brain to make our job easier and faster, rather than excessive useless strength.
A manager used to say that I need to work faster when I first got there then later I've automated the task so that it's faster and requires 3 less people. Animator AE and Blender guy here
You had me 100% Now you got me 110 %.
I can see it, but others don’t really notice. When I do things with intension, I make fewer bad decisions in the process, so I get the job done and waste less time on projects. I kind of wait on myself to visualize the complete next step before completing it. It has to feel right before i move on. my ESTJ sister, jumps right in quickly, and does a good job with her process too. We just do things differently to get the same result. I agree, the emotional high is great. Action is something i have to push myself on. I think it has something to do with not caring to put it out there , or being afraid of putting the vision out into the world, knowing others may not like it as much as i do or criticize my efforts.
Relate much ❤...if we do something, we give everything towards..my life seems to be intense moments of high functioning days, then utter calm, which others may see as laziness...
One of my favorite part of her videos is finding so many like minded people in the comment section.
What I've found is that a lot of energy goes out the window as soon as you tell someone you're going to do something. So I try to get as much done of something before I tell someone else about what I'm doing.
@@Emperor_Nagromthat's true with creativity, too. If you talk about it, it's so satisfying, you don't do it, sometimes.
We are winning and we will win ✨
INFJ = Ents🌲
❤❤Truest , im slow in school but im one of the most outstanding student , Im a silent leader but i see to it that my group got a highest score
That's the great thing about taking our time, and recognizing the patterns. We wont be slow forever, after the pattern recognition we take off.
Just like a saying i heard and stuck with me about training in the Army, "Slow is fast, and fast is smooth!" Stay smooth my fellow INFJ's!
I'm a thirty-three-year-old INFJ (as in I'm ancient) and I've been taking in your content on a fundamental level lately 😭 thank you for creating this channel for people like me ❤
I'm always encouraging others to go "slow and steady." Now I know why... it works!!!
The tortoise in the old fable “The Tortoise and the Hare” must have been an INFJ.
❤Slow and steady wins the race 🐢
“We’re winning because of it..❤️”I love it. Thks Wenzes 🤣 I feel better now.
I have learned the reason why I am slower is because I absorb more information than my peer, they can be fast because they can just focus on the limited information they get from things and not get distracted by a bunch of other things that are going on at the same time. Because we see life with many depths, I have believed that I was very stupid for many years until I see the difference of my intelligence compared to them. One interesting thing is that I have far sighted eyes, that is my body’s natural design for me to not see things that are close to me, which limits the information I take in to protect me, because if I could have received more information my brain might break. But of course I used to wear glasses, and I would mentally shut down my brain all the time. And I see far things, that helps with having long term vision, just curious if anyone else have experience where they body’s design protects them or help them.
Sloth is my issue. I've been working on it, but it's a whole problem... Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Happy Friday yall 🎉💕
Yes, me too! I feel like such a sloth sometimes!😂
Go for a walk? Do some sit ups?
@@alicia7240 not into it.
Not that I'm ungrateful for being infj...but why are we so? I wonder? The same thinking patterns of ours, its like we go through the exact same experiences, why? Or how? Like the consciousness of one being imparted into these select few individuals. Can someone help😊 the high moral standards, when we sin, our sins consequences affect only us not the other person, the benevolence and integrity....i can go on all day. Why are we so?
Now this is the kinda sermon I can use on a Sunday! I can't tell you how many times I have sat in a church listening to a preacher giving out general advice for all the people in attendance and feeling like most of it just made me feel like a failure. That is because whether its church or some motivational seminar, the message is almost always tailored for the "go getters" ie the extroverts. Its as if the introverts don't exist. Not to even mention us very uncommon INFJs and Ps. But I am thankful to Wenzes for her mission to reach us with this "good news" that we are not deficient just different. We are not motivated as deeply as others by the fear of social exclusion. We are not as motivated as others by emotional reactions to what others are doing. We spend time thinking about things before acting. We take more time to learn things because we look for connections and try to learn why not just how. We just have to quit comparing ourselves to others so much and focus on what makes us happy! Hallelujah!☺
Honestly, I still struggle with accepting this part of my personality. i always get anxious whenever I feel like I'm taking to much time to complete a task.
I get anxious too - I am getting better at saying (if the anxiety is from outside pressure) - do you want to complete it? Or getting clear deadlines - or saying no if I feel that there is too much pressure behind getting a task done in a quick manner - but I also find that working a job that is not in a fast-paced environment helps to alleviates the pressure.
Another great video. Spot on like the rest. It’s as if you took the top off my head and read all of my internal files.
I’d also like to add for younger viewers that accepting yourself for who you really are is a lengthy process. It does not happen immediately. As long as you keep true to yourself you will get there. And, even when you do feel like you’re there, there’s always more to learn and grow from and that’s ok. ❤
It seems our personality is like a rubberband ball that needs to be unraveled - but each high level we learn unfolds into much more -
I still have to clean my house and organize my space. I can't think with clutter.
Thanks for the update Wenzes.
This makes so much sense to me!
Wen, I thrive in a slow philosophy of life. Because of insane acceleration and madness see how these wars are taking thousands of lives. Slow philosophy on the other hand is the key to a life reflective and it gives one immense mental power..It gives us a certain sense of clarity and erases all inner conflicts. Thank you for this video of yours.
This is on point!
Thanks 🥲🥹
😢😢 thank you really appreciate this video.
Thank you so much for saying this... I'm starting to feel stuck again T_T
You make my day. I am always thinking and I know what time it is.
Pattern recognition indeed✨
Thank you Wenzes, feel understood 😀.
This was super helpful and insightful! Thank you! I learned so much about myself and why I am the way I am.
Slow but surely; accurate not lazy perfection expert in problem solving
U have a great voice and very much soothing
Yupppppp!!!¡!!!¡¡
Really good points about viewing these as strengths rather than weaknesses and being more accepting of our own nature.
I find the point about learning particularly relevant. I've often found it takes me much longer to learn something because I have to know why it's done that way. I can't learn by just remembering and repeating. But once I do learn something then I become very advanced very quickly and can often find new and even better ways of doing things.
You’re understanding and analysis of INFJ is truely honest and awesome, so amazing, I’m an INFJ from australia
Shocks, lately I've been thinking why I'm a slow starter, thanks for covering this
This is me!!! My mother always told me from a tiny kid "you can't ever do anything quickly" And I know! I need to get up two hours before I leave for work.
Wow 😯 amazing that I never knew why I move slower and am super open about it. I even tell people not to pressure me or I’ll go even slower as then I have to look at everything and study even deeper to make sure am comfortable and doing it correctly. 😅 I have to make sure I didn’t miss anything or second guess myself.😅 Shocking I already did a lot of things you talk about and knew that’s what I needed but didn’t know why I was like this 😅. Now this all makes sense.
I will be ready on nov 4th ✨💙
😊 ok...👍
💯✨✨
great explanation. I always find a pattern, a method, a way - that can apllied by everybody
now I know that it just how our INFJ brain work
Literally what ever I put my mind to I achieve, and I was self-aware of the pace I was doing it, but in time I realized people are self-consumed and they actually don't sense if I think I am slow pacing. But when I get to that goal, people react at that point and think I did it really fast and am so smart. When, during the process I thought I was stupid a 100 times 😂 but if I love to do something, I am the best and get it pretty fast. But if I don't like something, it can be the easiest thing to accomplish, it will take me forever to go about it. Also, when I have to develop a new skill or a habit I am really much slower than the others, but when I get it, I never forget it and I start to excel in comparison to others. So, yeah, this all makes sense.
I don't know if I totally buy into the whole personality type thing, but I've actually been frustrated with my learning not progressing as fast as I want it to, so the title of this video spoke to me. I've gotten INFJ (turbulent) 3 out of 4 times on tests through the past few years.
I really enjoy your video teaching. I noticed your voice drops lower on some of your main bullet points. Especially at the end of sentences. Like when you stated reason number five I didn't catch it because you said it so quietly.
This was on point, I use to think, why aren't I a go getter? I been criticized by some people asking me. Why don't I
want my out of my life? I like to keep it simple, and why I don't have a lot of friends and go out every weekend.
Anyone else constantly questioning if theyre an INFJ or not?
Whahhh can’t believe it 😂😂
The capacity to process while elevating senses with multiple areas of growth and intellect allows them to "take in" more. Their natural reserve allows them that space. It's not necessarily "slower" although I believe in taking your time and pace but it's about breaking down the diversity in retains and resolve vs astethics and appeal. Their nature is expansive not directional, altruistic, idolized, imperial, or self sustaining although independently dependable with no ties, and it takes time to expand.
I wish we were a little faster tho … smh … I wanna be a superstar! I just wanna fly! So tired of this humble journey lol
Ok so I'm INFJ and dated someone who had a french bulldog. This thing was the weirdest dog ever and we became pals. Are INFJ known for be'n drawn to this type of dog? Seems a good fit
Have a beautiful weekend Miss Wenzes & Take great care of you also!
Is that an emoji? How did you added that? :c
@@havefun3470 you can find it below the black line of comments when you leave a comment. just clic on the emoji and you can choose plenty of them in that way. When you clic on it just scroll down and you will find plenty.
@@stevenmcc712 i still couldn't find it 😭 There's no black line which opens emoji option. Emojis on my Gboard doesn't have that emoji. Maybe because i haven't updated youtube for so long. That emoji you used there is so adorable. Thanks for responding. 🌻
totez
I notice that many traits of INFJ are related to ADHD symptoms. Are there many INFJs with ADHD/ADD here?
"Make haste slowly" - Augustus.
I call it "timelessness"...
Yes, people call me slow!
As an Infj, our motivation is like a snail, some go a bit faster while others go more slower. But I will say this, you force us to be faster, we will no longer be a snail but a bull who will resist your pushing and pulling and will fight you till you give up and even sometimes you pushing us to be faster will only motivate us to go even more slower 😂. This is something that my family who are mainly from the Analyst group has to deal with when it comes to me 😂.
❤️💯 3:03
I’m a little bit in love with Wenzes………. Maybe it’s because she gets me 😂 plus she gorgeous
❤
I luv your videos but am having problem with older sister maybe ESTJ or something close to that, I just know it's complete opposite of what I am infj and my whole life no matter what I've tried to vent or talk about with her it's always something lacking in me, she doesn't even know who I'm talking about yet she takes their side. 😢 it's frustrating and unexceptable and I think she knows this too but I'll still try and it's always me who has the emotional reaction or she's always said your too sensitive or u need to grow a tougher skin. I think she likes hearing her self say these terms that society uses to sound like she so up on everything. Idk, I usually stay away since she sees me as the big problem needing to be fixed, so much smarter and accomplished then me. Sorry about rambling 😊
Stop talking to her about your problems. It seems like to make you feel incompetent.
Omg that’s me a INFJ on the coach, I’m laughing, I’m captain slow
Maynard G Krebs
The exponential curve makes a lot of sense now. But what should I do when I’m not getting that time to slowly learn or see the patterns. For example my chemistry class my professor starts the lecture and after some time I don’t understand a single word he says because I get stuck on a previous thing he said that I cannot make a connection with and then everything becomes very confusing and I don’t even know what I’m confused about.
I hope that explanation makes sense. Looking forward for some advice!
My advise is sign up for tutoring at your school. A tutor can help you at your pace and understanding. You will eventually know the content and then it will seem easy to you.
*Also, find or make learning tools like flashcards for the elements- (chemistry chart), Vocab. cards: word on front/definition on back.
Do this ahead of units so that you can learn them before starting the unit. View them before bed, view them during free time, waiting room, etc. Join a study group or study with another classmate.
It’s like being left handed but the world wants you to be right handed…..oeee vey….. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I go too fast and too hard. I say I have two speeds, off and FAST !!
I like to be fast and I get irritated when my body fights against this.
It seems like I do spend a long time formulating plans & methods of execution before taking the action.
And then I get things done like clock work.
Ex. @ grocery store know basically what I want. Walk fast, grab cart, head to aisle, grab items. 'Boom, boom, boom'. Stand in line at check out, organize items on conveyor belt, have payment ready, start bagging items, etc.
Not this one.