Surviving NO CONTACT with a Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 10 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 108

  • @teramariee7441
    @teramariee7441 5 років тому +47

    I just left with my 2 boys yesterday. Day 1 no contact leaving a 17 year marriage to a tyrant. Took me last year and 2 months to plan this out. Thank you for your videos!

    • @jupiterscorner5423
      @jupiterscorner5423 3 роки тому +2

      How are you doing today? Almost a month I left my narc dad 🏠. I am doing okay

  • @anyapi987
    @anyapi987 6 років тому +40

    "The moment I woke up"...
    Its so hard when we feel everything again, in our bodies, the pain in the heart and stomach.

    • @freeyourmind790
      @freeyourmind790 5 років тому +2

      today I finally had the strength to dump my narcissist girlfriend. going no contact starts now! I have blocked her and deleted on everything. its time to move on with my life. my mind and soul is still very messed up tho, I'm so mentally drained i feel numb. I really need to heal.. if anyone can help me or give me advise I appreciate it, and I'm glad I can be apart of this community. if anyone could comment it would mean the world to me. I hope everyone has a good day, remember to love yourself

  • @AnupVirdi55
    @AnupVirdi55 Рік тому +5

    Dated one for 2 weeks, identified the signs pretty early and left the connection then and there. Feeling blessed.. following no contact for 3 weeks now and will continue forever. ✌️

  • @Kathleen-p1l
    @Kathleen-p1l 4 роки тому +17

    After a few years of back and forth, back and forth.... I finally just changed my number. I will no longer accept this person’s toxic presence in my life. Not only am I not getting calls I am now able to wean myself from checking constantly if they contacted me. Huge. HUGE in how different doing this has been compared to simply blocking.

  • @thelovely961
    @thelovely961 Рік тому +3

    It's really hard to find a video that talks about the process you go through while you are no contact. A lot of people just talk about how they react, so thank you for talking about what we go through and how we can get through it.

  • @empoweredempaths6362
    @empoweredempaths6362 6 років тому +33

    I agree that journaling everyday is a great way to cope with going no contact - it’s a great way to process what you’ve been through and an effective way to train yourself to be there for yourself, your own best friend, and to safely externalize all the feelings you weren’t allowed or didn’t allow yourself to feel in the relationship.

    • @anniewarbucks9697
      @anniewarbucks9697 5 років тому

      Empowered Empaths I just started my 3rd notebook.

  • @Diamonddusted68
    @Diamonddusted68 5 років тому +11

    Even though I discarded him, 2 weeks after No Contact I came down with flu. I felt very low energy and feeling down in general. Be glad when this phase is over.

  • @k-shee5951
    @k-shee5951 6 років тому +12

    I have went 3 months of no contact with a lady friend. Last week her daughter called me up and told me that her mother (this lady friend) is in the hospital with a brain aneurysm. Told me which hospital she was in. Her daughter said that she was heavily sedated and that I needed to talk to her because she had her mother's phone. So I called the hospital to see her if she was there. They have never heard of her. She NOT in the hospital. It's true what they say...they never (really) go away and they do not like YOU going no contact with them. Going no contact has been the best thing that ever happened in this relationship. 😁😊😉

    • @marlenaeva3813
      @marlenaeva3813 3 роки тому +1

      Narcs are genius liars, they will do anything to get you back into their world. Don't believe ANY word they say. They are behaving from a pathology that no one can ever understand (unless they're narc themselves).

  • @redjulmar7391
    @redjulmar7391 6 років тому +16

    I struggled for two years ... I thought I would never " escape' but in the end the bad out weighed the good completely ... There was no good... It was all a lie... So now my mind is completely made up... I hope this gives HOPE to all you guys who are struggling at the moment... You " Will " get there :)

  • @daniellemorse6929
    @daniellemorse6929 Рік тому +1

    This is a fantastic video about no contact and probably one of the best that I found so far. I'm only 7 days in and even though I know it is the best thing I still feel tied to the ex narcissist. It is like he is in my heart, mind and soul and I cannot completely let go. The abuse was mentally and emotionally draining. No one should have to go through that. Trying my hardest to make this the final discard from me. Stay strong for everyone who is no contact or going no contact soon. It is the only way to heal.

  • @markcrossley3892
    @markcrossley3892 4 роки тому +5

    I like the idea of a contract with myself of no contact with others.

  • @kme3894
    @kme3894 5 років тому +8

    Excellent advice! These things WILL work if you stick to no contact and you WILL heal ❤️
    Some practical steps to trick our brain to feel good based on a healthy dose of serotonine/dopamine that I see work for me:
    1 - exercise. Hugely effective, immediately. Also, over time you feel better about yourself and stronger
    2 - film therapy. Better watch a good film when you are obsessing than give into the withdrawal. Helps postpone the urge to contact them or to dwell on the trauma. If you can combine it with exercise (like if you use a stationary bike or a treadmill), even more effective!
    3 - meet people through your core interests, such as sports, a choir, a bird watching group, whatever gets you in touch with your true self (no matter how dorky that is). Try finding the places where they meet via the internet, or Meetup groups
    4 - start a new pursuit that you always wanted to explore, no matter how small you dab in it. Like, drawing, learning a new language, learn everything about flowers, learn how to cook perfect lasagna, a self-defense course (even on youtube, it's a start!)... baby steps are enough to get you going sometimes, because you feel that tiny sense of unexplored possibilities and skills that shifts your attention from the abusive drama to your new life without it
    5 - develop your "higher self" life, it could be going to church, meditating, volunteering, taking long walks in nature that give you that sense of endless peace around, or delving into art if you're into it, such as just contemplating its transcendence beyond our traumatic circumstances, read books that inspire you at a higher level, etc.

  • @newoaknl
    @newoaknl 6 років тому +14

    So amazingly explained. Eva you are one of my favorites. Assc direct, David de Mars, a youtuber called Super Empath, and you Eva.
    We must be careful with who we surround us with.

  • @mdmmalou
    @mdmmalou 5 років тому +6

    You're truly amazing. Especially your remark: Do it for your grandchildren (nice!) I don't have grandchildren yet, but I don't want to think that my head will be occupied by a narcissist by than!! I ordered the book 'initiation', delivered tomorrow .. I am very curious, because you have talked about it more often. I learn a lot from you, really! You are a wise young woman! In my time, nothing was known about narsism. Thanks to you and also other channels, I feel very supported and finally removed from my deepest isolation. It's still quite a process for me but now, I really gain insight after years of abuse of both parents, without understanding why this has been done to me! We are all conditioned by all the narsissm through the ages. Narcissism is a toxic DNA thing! Very dangerous to mix yourself in even if many are used to, and accept this as normal! Its NOT normal! It's abuse!!

    • @jupiterscorner5423
      @jupiterscorner5423 3 роки тому

      What is the name of the author of the book initiation?

  • @uddinshehab
    @uddinshehab 5 років тому +7

    How you explained the topics is simply mind blowing. Tons of videos are there in UA-cam but none explained like your one. It has better clarity and pin pointing the issues. Thank you so much.

    • @zarah2856
      @zarah2856 5 років тому

      I agree. I wish i had this video when I was going through the silent treatments and discards.

  • @risingeagle6332
    @risingeagle6332 5 років тому +6

    Wonderful! Your timing of releasing of this video is a godsend. I must go “No Contact.”
    I’m drawn to my narcissist like a fly is to food; problem is that there is a spider’s web in front of it.
    I’m doing the work necessary. Its very difficult. I’m seeking to remove her from my life. Almost there; however, she is keeping her hooks on me. I will go “no contact” once my divorce is finalized. When I ignore her, she becomes more combative and so on. I have take the heat when I know I need to avoid her like the plague. (Why doesn’t she let me go? She discarded me in a horrible way, but refuses to sign the divorce paper or she changes the terms every time. She acts like she owns me.)
    I must do this for my own well being, mental health and stability.
    I’m a Yellow Bird in a cage seeking to get out....I’m so close.😀👌

  • @katieangelique7606
    @katieangelique7606 6 років тому +9

    I love 'Eat Pray Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert and movie also. It helps me see there is so much more in myself & world to explore than this tiny toxic box I've been in. I love these videos they are helping me so much in a time when I can't afford therapy ☺ Thank you!

    • @demelzabrooks1899
      @demelzabrooks1899 5 років тому

      Ooh, I've been looking out for this book in second-hand stores, I will keep looking 👍💚💙

  • @Maiden_Warrior_Crone
    @Maiden_Warrior_Crone 9 місяців тому

    I really appreciate this. I needed to understand the function of neurotransmitters during this breakup. Thank you so much. Love from Croatia.❤

  • @KatenGuiness
    @KatenGuiness 5 років тому +2

    You are a god send. I left my narcissist gf 2 months ago and the last week initiated no contact. I’ve block her on Everything. I’ve watched so many videos regarding this, but you have really hit me and my mind with this video. Your help, tips and guidance is fantastic for me. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this video :)

  • @tzipporah7635
    @tzipporah7635 3 роки тому +3

    The Alchemist by Pauolo Coelho. I think its time for me to reread it...Such an amazing book!

  • @davidfade7397
    @davidfade7397 2 роки тому +2

    An excellent video with some great tips in it and I'm going to start a journal to help me get through what I've been subjected to for nearly 2 years now (I've just completed my first week of going no contact with the person concerned by the way).
    Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us all on here. Xx

  • @elsitabebe
    @elsitabebe 3 роки тому +2

    Failing Forward by John C Maxwell. Great book to see your so called percieved failures as fuel to propel you into greatness. It saved my life. Keep healing everyone, one day at a time

    • @belroyale
      @belroyale 2 роки тому

      This is a must read!

  • @jamieleigh807
    @jamieleigh807 2 роки тому

    Hello Soul GPS. Here i am again, third relationship with thr narcissist. I remember when you sent me such a heart felt message years ago and you were so nurturing and lovely. Thank you so much you are such a blessing to us. I relate so much to all you say, thank you sweetheart❤

  • @krislistowski4966
    @krislistowski4966 4 роки тому +3

    I find it fascinating that in a strange twisted way that no Contact is the real discard at the end of the day

  • @chrismcgirr1
    @chrismcgirr1 6 років тому +4

    'Nocturne' by Lisa St Aubin De Terán; 'The Pirate' by Christopher Wallace; 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' by Milan Kundera; Murakami; Herman Hesse; Tolkien; 'Reflections on the Art of Living - A Joseph Campbell Companion'; 'All the Birds, Singing' by Evie Wyld; 'A Bad Character' by Deepti Kapoor. Too many to list here.. Also helpful are 'In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts' by Gabor Maté; 'Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore; 'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman. And my favourite, 'Hagakure' by Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
    I found it too hard to concentrate on reading fiction when the anxiety was really bad, so Game of Thrones was perfect for that.

  • @rayescott8219
    @rayescott8219 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for every single word

    • @lorigriffo3636
      @lorigriffo3636 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you so much.You are a beautiful Soul.
      I'm Still Standing by Taryn Edgerton ...it's a very helpful UA-cam video.

  • @melim2811
    @melim2811 5 років тому +1

    Wow.. the immune thing is on point! My narc ex kicked me and my child out last week while I had the flu, which I never had that I can recall in my life. He kicked us out like we never existed. Im devesated and needed to hear this....thank you, hope I feel better soon

  • @marlenaeva3813
    @marlenaeva3813 3 роки тому +1

    Really great explanation of how narcissists make you feel. It is like getting off a drug. My narc is my mother and I have been planning NC for some months now. Have gone NC once but it didn't stick. The 2nd time will be forever.
    I love your novel reading suggestion. I think great novels really do reset your brain to think better thoughts. I'll certainly check those books out myself.

  • @molli8389
    @molli8389 3 роки тому +2

    This is so incredibly helpful. I’ve watched what feel like thousands of videos on this Narc topic and I think this video is in my top 3 helpful videos, honestly. Thank you so much😊

    • @SoulGPS
      @SoulGPS  3 роки тому +1

      You’re welcome!

  • @lalitasahay8575
    @lalitasahay8575 5 років тому +1

    Oh wow thank you I needed this , this my 3 day after my break up with narcissistic person. it’s so hard , thank you for the video.

  • @anonymouswoman2060
    @anonymouswoman2060 5 років тому +1

    This is great. I am an energy healer. You spoke to me in a way that makes sense.

  • @stickyandsweetie
    @stickyandsweetie 5 років тому +2

    Omg ...you are BANG on xx

  • @sharellerose5306
    @sharellerose5306 5 років тому +3

    Another excellent video 😀 I'm actually gonna try to find that book "Initiation" you mentioned..Reading has been so incredibly helpful to me so I'm so glad your suggesting it to all of us! I think your channel is amazing 💙💙💙 thank you! Sending love from Oregon 💖

  • @Virgo333
    @Virgo333 Рік тому

    This video was so helpful. Thank you so much 🖤

  • @amandalouw2295
    @amandalouw2295 5 років тому +1

    I think keeping busy will help and to surround yourself with people that actually care

  • @jennyfranklin5893
    @jennyfranklin5893 5 років тому +2

    Appreciate so much all your hard work to help others, you explain so well. Thank you!

  • @markcrossley3892
    @markcrossley3892 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for this video, much appreciated. M

  • @missbundy508
    @missbundy508 4 роки тому

    Thank God a clear soft voice I’ve been stressed all day/night over this bs ass person

  • @gbenrosholanke7472
    @gbenrosholanke7472 5 років тому +2

    Your Love ....God is Love

  • @tim5417
    @tim5417 6 років тому +3

    Great video! Take care!

  • @riseshine3335
    @riseshine3335 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you 💚

  • @amandalouw2295
    @amandalouw2295 5 років тому +2

    Its critical that they don't find your journal cause we know all too well their blatant disregard for your privacy.

  • @joylaine3193
    @joylaine3193 5 років тому +1

    Amazing teachings.. Thank you...

  • @angelmossucco
    @angelmossucco Рік тому

    Thank you❤

  • @Deserthawk9487
    @Deserthawk9487 4 роки тому +1

    Great info thank you!!

  • @amandalouw2295
    @amandalouw2295 5 років тому +1

    Very helpful and to the point, thanks

  • @ChristiansPrayingTogether
    @ChristiansPrayingTogether 5 років тому +1

    This is such a great vid ! Something that helped me was all of a sudden in NC I'd think of something ( I was constantly trying to put the puzzle pieces together ) and it would cause me to call the narcissist and break NC - So instead of calling him I wrote everything down - sometimes in a letter to him ( that i never mailed) or in a journal . I think sometimes we break NC because we want to be heard and we wont them to know we know ...whatever the reason writing is much better than breaking NC . Good luck and God Bless 💖

    • @myrahouse2368
      @myrahouse2368 4 роки тому

      Journey of the Dawn Treader the ecos and flash backs is what I am left with now..... how are you coping?

  • @veritasliberabitvos454
    @veritasliberabitvos454 6 років тому +1

    You are right, the ethos of the environment they are in still impacts us. In my case it is like a black hold / energy / happiness vampire. Plan carefully the escape when so many things are enmeshed.

  • @Ragedodge
    @Ragedodge 4 роки тому +1

    Very helpful advice 💕

  • @alouettedemer5366
    @alouettedemer5366 Рік тому

    Journaling and writing out all the pain and abuse only makes it more real to me, so I don't journal. I'm a heyoka empath and recalling all the hurt in writing causes me to experience all the pain all over again in real time.

  • @littleboxxes
    @littleboxxes Рік тому

    One of my fave books to read is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

  • @monicaruiz9829
    @monicaruiz9829 2 роки тому +1

    First day no contact I cried so much I did journaling, he has my email I’m afraid he might contact me I don’t have his I can’t just block him I made a decision I been wanting to leave him in the past I’m tired of him I want my life back I don’t want my emotions to depend on him i know I can do it but I also know it’s not easy I will take it day by day thank you

  • @gbenrosholanke7472
    @gbenrosholanke7472 5 років тому

    Thank you very helpful. Best and most helpful tip sofar

  • @andrewwilliams762
    @andrewwilliams762 6 років тому +2

    Fleas... I had a dream a long time ago about someone that i was friends with. In the dream my friend had "oral lice" and was trying to infect me. And his father also had the infection. Your analogy struck a chord, and i must've been infected. i make preemptive judgments as a self- defense.

  • @jupiterscorner5423
    @jupiterscorner5423 3 роки тому

    The Heart of Lonely Hunter by Carson Mccullers
    A Member of the Wedding by Carson as well

  • @christinemiller6566
    @christinemiller6566 6 років тому

    Thank you! 😎⛄🎄🎅💖💖

  • @vegeta8169
    @vegeta8169 6 років тому +9

    Dammit. After no contact for months I wanna contact the narc out of shear boredom!!!!!
    Yeah, posting to keep myself accountable and NOT do it.

  • @Wanderingnomad2829
    @Wanderingnomad2829 5 років тому

    Excellent

  • @uddinshehab
    @uddinshehab 5 років тому +2

    "The old man and the sea" a Novel by Ernest Hemingway

  • @isobelle.London
    @isobelle.London 2 роки тому

    I’ve been no contact 5 months with some email contact I cut that out now and I’m now I’m getting clarification I was in a fog now I see him for him and I am healing it’s painful but I’m doing it .

  • @jupiterscorner5423
    @jupiterscorner5423 3 роки тому

    I will be reading Pavilion of Women By Pearl s Buck

  • @jupiterscorner5423
    @jupiterscorner5423 3 роки тому

    Kindred by octavia butler.
    Earthseed series by octavia butler

  • @as9647
    @as9647 6 років тому +2

    Hello :) You have presented very interesting issues regarding the relationship between people and contacts with genuinely toxic people and the way you can regain a mental balance is very accurate because we all have to create a so-called zone of not permeability something like the sun where the halo separates the outer space from his testicles. It is like a Stone, with the whole surface turn to others and the inside be reversed, they can get to know you but not know .... ask why? Because they lack the sense of participation, even their sharpened vision will not be useful to them because they lack the sense of participation.
    Regards Aurélie :)

  • @susielee8101
    @susielee8101 5 років тому +4

    I walked out from the life of my narcissist three months ago and kept no contact. For two months now I haven't seen a sight of him or his car ( He lives in the same apartment complex as me) I know I should commit to no contact or I'll be going back to the same hell. But I can't help worrying about what has happened to him. Did he move or did he get in a car accident or what! I suddenly feel kind emotions toward someone who has mentally abused me. How can I stop this ridiculous mix emotion and move on without trying to find closure. Usually he would have hovered me after this long or send a text to say his final goodbye. Did he find a new supply or something bad happen. If he has found a new supply then I will feel more peace but if he had some kind of accident I would feel very sad just the same. After all, I have loved him for seven years regardless if I was in love with a fake person or not.

    • @givegodthanks
      @givegodthanks 5 років тому

      Did you hear from him.

    • @kerissaspencer3311
      @kerissaspencer3311 4 роки тому +1

      He’s out love bombing the new person. He will Hoover you if that person is not working out or he’s waiting you out so when he contacts you, you’ll be happy to hear from him. It’s part of the trauma bonding technique. I’m sorry. Focus on yourself.

  • @truepatriot7647
    @truepatriot7647 5 років тому

    Day 4 no contact. Have kids so almost impossible. But I've only text 4 times to her 17. Slowly may be working.

  • @hkenny50
    @hkenny50 Рік тому

    I blocked the narc on litteraly everything because i dont want to see IT and i dont want IT to see me

  • @rachp5176
    @rachp5176 5 років тому +1

    I'm two weeks today complete NC and you've just reminded me of something. The week when he was still at my house after i asked him to leave and a couple of times after he left he texted me "you need a cuddle". It was when he knew i was angry. My question is , did he know what he was doing by saying this? Was it straight manipulation?

    • @SoulGPS
      @SoulGPS  5 років тому +1

      It sounds like straight manipulation. Warm hugs to you!

  • @feetbythesouth3470
    @feetbythesouth3470 2 роки тому

    Having contact with him is like an addiction. In the Substance Abuse realm, they have "sponsors" that they can reach out to keep them on the right path. Do you know of such a thing?

    • @SoulGPS
      @SoulGPS  2 роки тому

      I don’t know of any sponsors but that’s a great idea! Maybe CODA (codependents anonymous in US) uses similar model?

  • @bobhunley6457
    @bobhunley6457 6 років тому

    Dear Soul GPS. I want to apologize if I said anything respectful. I have a Trauma therapist because you and other coaches Literally saved my life inspiring me to get on track. I never want to say anything that causes you harm. I apologize and please don't worry I won't engage anymore until I finish my " Right Speech" Buddha book. I'm still in the Recovery Process. Thank You for listening. God Bless you. Bob

    • @bobhunley6457
      @bobhunley6457 6 років тому

      Omg typo. If I said amything disrespectful I'm cleaning.it up now. Hurting others hurts us. Even if my intent was good. Bob

  • @vanousisi8112
    @vanousisi8112 Рік тому

    Me I can't. Because of him the uk social services got involved
    They keep staying it's for my safety but they are controlling me even more than my ex .
    I have a baby with him and she is at risk of getting removed from me

  • @jerseymolina767
    @jerseymolina767 5 років тому +1

    I blocked him from everything social media contact list everything plus I live in another country and that makes it better. It's going to be a week now on Sunday and know if I unblocked him from anything he will slice me to death ....so here I am ... focusing and trying not to remember any good time at all. BTW: I love reading I take that pretty soon. GN 😉

    • @Ellie-bo9uh
      @Ellie-bo9uh 5 років тому

      I'm one day,blocked him,I hope your doing well

  • @cynthiajohnson9412
    @cynthiajohnson9412 6 років тому +3

    Margaret Atwood and John Steinbeck? Those are two big downers. Sorry but those two will not make you feel better. Read children's books about plucky orphans with indomitable spirits who find loving families after pain and struggle like Anne of Green Gables, Heidi, Pollyanna, Daddy Longlegs, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms. Those books will help you heal.

    • @SoulGPS
      @SoulGPS  6 років тому

      Cynthia Johnson Thank you! I may have spoken too soon :) Two great, uplifting books I read recently are The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and Night of Fire by Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt. Your recommendations are spot on!

    • @cynthiajohnson9412
      @cynthiajohnson9412 6 років тому +1

      I love Paulo Coelho! I will check out Night of Fire by Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt. Thanks for the tip! I read the classics too, mostly because I don't trust modern literature to be uplifting. I personally like to read stuff that restores my faith in humanity and brings back to mind my childhood innocence. I keep James Herriot's collection of books starting with All Creatures Great And Small by my bedside.

    • @SoulGPS
      @SoulGPS  6 років тому +1

      Brilliant! Thank you so much for your contribution, Cynthia!

  • @dontworryaboutit8213
    @dontworryaboutit8213 6 років тому

    Frick Eye need a place to stay with my 18lb dog. Fracking hate my biological father who narcissist eye knows a scum bag!

  • @kassandraleixo5042
    @kassandraleixo5042 2 роки тому

    Thank you for this information. Makes so much sense. I wake every night in a panic and its been almost 3 months, the after effects are so damaging 🥲

    • @SoulGPS
      @SoulGPS  2 роки тому

      3 months is still very soon after NC. Be kind to and gentle with yourself. It will get much better.

  • @aaronrichey583
    @aaronrichey583 2 роки тому

    Thank you!

  • @vunilla
    @vunilla 2 роки тому

    Thank you 🧡