My uncle took his own life in 2005, he was 35 and had three kids aged 13, 5, and 3. Last year (2022) his youngest daughter (my little cousin) who was three when he died, she took her own life while she was away at uni. All her life we tried to help her but she couldn’t get over her dad’s death and the shadow that it cast over our family, it devastated everyone and she grew up with that from her earliest memories. I genuinely believe my uncle thought he was doing the best thing for his kids, he adored them. He thought they’d be better off without him. But if I could just say one thing to him and to every man (or woman) in a similar point in their life I would say that the people who love you are NEVER better off without you. No matter how much pain you are in, it CAN get better but if you end it then there is no hope of it ever getting better. Find a person, anyone, and tell them. We’re all stronger together and we have to be there for eachother.
Hi Adam. Last year was terrible for me. I came so close to the end. If it had not been for my sister getting to the house so quickly i would have been gone. Not just a sadness but a horrible mental pain that became unbearable. Could not read, watch TV or even listen to radio. Ended up in hospital and the first month was pure hell. Had a nurse watching me 24/7 because i was so suicidal. I'm older than you and have suffered depression since 15. I wish mental illnesses did not exist.
Point is you are here, you acknowledge the battle which is 1 thing as many would rather not. It doesn't make it any easier but where you can see that it is something rather than nothing, for me personally that helps me sit down and work through it. I am grateful that you left this comment, and you still kicking.. I know it can't be easy some days. But that wind in the air that sun, the rain.. the simple things in life we take for granted, that we over look on those day days.. as corny as it sounds.. can help
I needed this today. You've made me cry... but in a good way as I needed the release. The internal war still rages on in my head and my body feels like it's ready to give up on me, but your videos are of great comfort and I wish you all the best.
Keeping hanging in there. You never know what is around the corner and although it can be daunting, it is always exciting when you truly don't know what a day can bring. For example today, I decided to change my usual self at work and randomly said to a work colleague "high five!" And he reacted by giving that high five. He was smiling all day after that. It is amazing how such a simple gesture which lifts someone else's spirits can affect your own in a personal way. Same goes for Adam and this channel everyone is opening up thanks to this channel and it's a blessing
Hey Adam. Very sorry to hear that. As we age we start losing people. It is what it is there’s no fighting against it. We are born we go through shit and then we die. And none of us can change that. Live each day and be happy with what you have. I’m currently not in pain, just the clock ticking. I’m working tomorrow 7-3 and then I come home for dinner with my parents. I’m an only child. It gets lonely but I f’n deal with it.
That's a hard subject everyone is going through a lot of uncertainty including myself. I'm stuck in the same limited job situation! My life is very boring and routine! Ive never been successful! I rely on relatives for food and shelter! I I have no where else to go . I'm alive and fully healthy thank goodness but unfortunately don't know if I'll make it 10 years unless there is a divine intervention! I might not see my young niece and nephew grow up! Everyone I know is busy with their own families now . Just gotta push through
you highlighted it though, your said it yourself, routine and boring, its not divine intervention that you need, its just making 1 new choice to change any aspect of your life in a positive way, looking for a huge change to happen over night is not it. making 1 tiny change that you work at and do consistently, brings a change in everything because of what you learn about yourself
@Add- it's gonna be extremely hard for Me to make a change at this stage of my life . Career change or starting a business is hard for a person in their mid 40s because of age discrimination. I've tried and I'm stuck in the same hole . A life of mistakes and screw ups for me
Hi Adam. I've recently subbed and watched some of your previous videos. You seem like a guy who has a lot of empathy and understanding. I'm not sure where you are with your health etc now and what your plans are regarding work. But what struck me while I watched this video is how great a therapist you would be. Have you ever considered doing a course in therapy or something like that because I think that that could be your calling?, if you will...anyway, just my thoughts. Have a good day
Hey Adam. It's 4:00 AM where I live right now. I just got back from a late-night walk. I have a hard time sleeping nowadays. I'm not sure if you can identify with this but lately, I've felt like life just keeps knocking me down. I'm 18 and I feel like my life up until this moment has been unpleasant. Maybe I'm a dreamer but something in me just refuses to give up due to the possibility of things getting better. Guys like you and I are all too aware of our own realities. We know something's wrong. I often find that people who can think outside of the box and think critically are successful in the long run. Hopefully we're no exception. It's time to put our minds to good use. Carpediem, my guy.
@@moneyfornothing3264 Yeah everyone wishes to be 18 again. I honestly don't mind it if I could replay it.. he's young, has more time than all of us that are older thats for sure. Til this day I still have a p*rn problem and I j*** off a lot. At that age you can eat like sh*t and get away with it your body be like fine no problem. Party hard with the girls if you have them. Just don't do drugs, and also you don't want to have too much fun on the road when you're driving. Thats what I would tell my 18 year old self. I never did that right after high school. It was also covid I was just working all the time at some local store. 4 years on now 22 still trying to figure it out... I'll be fine til I die. Just hasn't happened yet even tho I think about it all the time. Doesn't really help at all
It's impossible for most men to build their dream lives after the age of 40. You just don't have the time anymore. And yet you could still be living for another 50 years stagnating inside your own mind. That's harrowing. I'm 32 at the moment and think about this a lot.
It’s always a pleasure to listen to you Adam, you are right about doing something physical to just exhaust your body, hitting the gym every single day feels like I am cleansing my body and because I do it first thing in the morning it sets me up to tackle the rest of the day so much easier. Be like a flower, always try to look for and face the light.
Adam, I am 45 and found your first video about failing. For once, I found someone who I could truly identify with. Your story rang so painfully true for me - and this video is another that just struck a chord with me, having been down this road myself. Three years of dealing with my depression and I am *just* starting to come out the other side. Before that I had been suffering since my late teens, quietly. Covid, and the subsequent redundancy was the trigger that pushed me further down that dark avenue, to the point I didnt feel there was any light. I didnt feel I was worthy of any light - I was alone, no matter how many people were around me. It wasn't a case of how any more, it was just a case of which day, soon. Your ability to talk about things and analyse the situation with rational head in front of the camera is a huge help to us in your community. Too many video take the lighter hearted approach of what you should ideally do to get through. Which is great, when it all works in a perfect world - but the very fact we are talking about it clearly shows we dont live in a perfect world.. But listening to you, I hear the reality. Your videos help more than you know. Suddenly I am not alone after all. Thank you Adam for being one of the most humble, honest, open and relatable channels on here. Stay strong, you are an inspiration to many of us - whether you know it or not.
Just keep going. Day at a time bit at a time, thats what helped me.. I still have very dark moments, but my experiences has taught me, its better to live those bad times, to respect that they happen, the dont define us, but its so easy to let them rule us. Day at a time
@@Add-I have recently found that self-talk, challenging my negative thoughts instead of just accepting them. It's taken three years of trying, trying to remain strong against the dark thoughts. I have had professional support too, but found the self talking/challenging - even telling yourself you are worth it (even if every fibre of your being feels you aren't) to be the thing that works best for me. I didn't believe myself to begin with, but slowly, over time, I started to think 'you know what, maybe I am worth something'. Something was better than nothing, so I took that as a win, allowed myself to acknowledge it as a win for me. It may be a minor step for many, but for me it has meant I have turned around and started to fight back against the darkness.
Thats a huge step in my opinion. Its been one of my own personal battles too. I have nonidea why I am not kinder to myself, and I have tried it lately and it is very hard trying to counter the natural negativity.. some days it works some days not so much, but you found something that started to be positive for you, and that is a huge thing.. big praise that !
Hey Adam - a tough and heartfelt video here and a lot of golden nuggets of wisdom for anyone feeling like there's no hope. I believe it was Friedrich Nietzsche who said "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Through your own struggles, it would appear that you have become stronger and are now able to lend a helping hand to others. God bless you for that! Just sending words of encouragement to stay on your upwards path ..... you are fighting the good fight.
Adam this video really hits home, everyone has their own personal demons. Just unfortunately some of us know when to call it quits, it's not asign of weakness, it's just a sign of there was no improvement in the long run.
Hey Gavin, I know you didn't ask for this response from a random person on youtube, but here we are 😊I'd say, calling it quits is easier than you think, I used to tell myself I was just attention seeking anyway, I needed to show myself I could do it. Unfortunately some of us know when to call it quits, having a logical mind is both a blessing and a curse. Our minds are incomplete though, we know that death is the end but we certainly do not know what the long run has for us. Life throws us some serious lemons too, in these situations the answer seems obvious. I was close to my dad and when he died I cried like baby for months, when my wife left, I felt like a failure, and deteriorating health led me to one conclusion. But I'm glad I found help, help is the best advice I can give, when you feel you're out of options there's always help but you need to find it. Godspeed mate ✨
Hi Adam, First off, thank you. I think this is the best video you’ve made so far and I hope it goes viral so a lot of people will get to hear your message. I think it will help a lot of people. Second, as someone who has dealt with these thoughts myself, on top of everything you said I would like to add that it’s a good exercise to think of all the good moments that you would never have gotten to experience had you been successful. It can be as big as meeting the love of your life or as small as discovering a TV show you like or having a restful night’s sleep. There’s always bad moments, but as long as we’re alive we get the chance to experience more good moments too and I think that potential is worth fighting for
i really love how you use your newly found possibility to reach a huge amount of subscribers for such an important message. i am sure that you help a lot of people without even realizing. you are a good person, adam. and i really hope you feel proud of yourself for being so empathic and using your own experiences to help others.
Thats very kind of you, I still battle a lot, so seeing pride at the moment is way off. Slowly though, just like everybody else, I am just trying each day to just be a little better to and for myself.
The thoughts you have while you feel down are quite revealing to what the real reason is you feel that way. When I feel down I always think about where I am in life in contrast to where I should be in my mind. This is the reason I feel down. Yea you can call this mental illness or whatnot but the reason is quite clear. Lack of success in life in my case. What helps? Well there's no antidode to keep trying to be that what you want to be, there's no shortcut or mental trick.
i get these thoughts daily .have done for years. got worst after a breakup and other traumas a few years ago. never told anyone though. no one to really tell . im a guy early 40s.. im just used to these thoughts,it feels part of who i am now.
I absolutely love this, I struggled to hold the tears back. There is always a piece of gold somewhere for you, you just have to dig through sh1t for it sometimes and you never know how deep the gold is buried. Keep fighting and never give up
Adam this was no easy video to approach and produce, and yet you did a superb job of it. 🙂 Many would shy away from making such a video. 🙂 Trauma alone is a horrendous thing, and with it can also come arrested development. Personally I don't think enough is being done in this area, and arrested development alone can be someone's development on hold for the duration of their life... You also touched on society's expectation of males being equipped to handle all that life chucks at them. That is great when parents etc. equip their off-spring to stand on their own two feet with the foresight and self-belief and self-awareness to handle all manner of situations, but sadly that is often not the case. Also not everyone transitions from dependency (tied to their Mother's apron strings) to being independent, which can be the difference between taking action from a place of grit and determination to a place of expecting answers given on a plate. I am a strong advocate of getting people to a place of self-assurance, self-belief and self-aware of their strengths and weaknesses, equipping them with the foresight to make sound decisions and tackle life head on, and personally (I'm no health professional etc), I think this goes hand-in-hand with mental well-being and strength of mind. Also how much do we understand about biological afflictions like bi-polar, schizophrenia etc. and the impact that has on someone's daily life. Medication obviously has its place, but what about focus on realistic expectations and understanding which transcend into coping strategies and how best to navigate for quality of life etc. Also with some afflictions there can be stigmas attached (e.g. schizophrenia), and someone's interpretation of such a label can in itself be debilitating. Thank you once again Adam for this video and your wise words and insight. 🙂
I can relate very much, that's exactly what keeps me from quiting, the curiosity to know what will happen next in my life. If I quit I will not experience more good things the world has to offer.
Thank you for expressing what ive been feeling. I tend to just keep myself busy in order to not think. These past two days at home ia messing with my head. These feelings just came flooding in.
Not sure why UA-cam recommend your first upload but I'm glad to see you're still around! You never know what's around the corner and apparently you're never to late to go back to Uni! My long time friend is heading back to Uni and he turned 33 earlier this year! The way I get through things is goals, some can seem effortless, some maybe for leasure reasons, others long term. As long as you've got something to work towards! :) All the best!
I have had great success with prescription medication for depression & anxiety. Without them I’m a mess and prone to the thoughts you address in the video. I encourage everyone to embrace modern medicine and see a professional who can help your mental illness.
Hey Adam. I subbed to you back with your first video 10 months ago where you showed who you were, and I have watched you since. I am 19 in the UK, and I have attempted to quit life three times as I felt I failed life so much by missing out and my classmates overtaking me, but I didn't succeed. I wanted to say that I always liked your videos because the way you talk is so genuine and honest.
You hang in there buddy. I know it not as easy as that. But just ever day gives you the opportunity, I know its so corny to hear that, but its true, start small, aiming big will feel out of reach, start so small you can achieve it, day by day, but at a time, you can beat the darkness.. you are clearly here for more than you know at the moment 💪😊
I'm 32 now, let me tell you something 19 is so so young! When I was 19 though I felt exactly the same, I had failed college a few times and everyone had passed me by doing A levels and uni etc. it was depressing and I felt a failure. When you hit your 30's you will look back at being 25 and under as being a baby!
Adam you are a wise man. I 110% agree with your message. And to people out there struggling: Know that you too will be as wise as Adam one day. Struggling builds something within each and everyone of us. Its like nothing can face us, cause what could be worse then our struggles been in the past? That’s worth fighting for.
Thank you very much for the video. Your words comforted me, and made me feel less alone. I'm afraid of feeling pain, fear, and burnout, but at the same time I lack faith, and patience. I succumb to negativity and stress when i should instead stand up for myself and not let stressful moments shape me into someone i dont want to be.
You've acknowledged that you let the stress take hold, which means you can see when its happening, thats huge to overcoming it so you feel more in control. If it takes a moment to step back and breath, so be it. You are the captain of your ship!
As I told you a couple of days ago, I’m fighting the urge to die everyday. I still play rugby as well but I don’t lift weights too much. Your message is helping me through very dark times. Thank you for your honesty and compassion. I simply love your channel because it resonates so much within me. Big hug from the 32 yo chilean rugby player.
Life is like defending the try line.. endless pressure.. sometimes you want yo give up when you feel you have nothing left, but you won't give up that easily. Your power is huge, your ability to keep going is underestimated. Your still here , your still fighting brother.. you can push through the dark times
Hi Adam, I've never been it that situation before but sadly have knowamy around me too I'm that situation. I glad you are still here and am using UA-cam to release the emotions and share with us. Wake up calls are important and I have had a wake up calls for different reasons. I just want to also say you have inspired me to re focus my channel and make similar vlog life entries myself again. I was thinking of doing a response video to you, but wanted to ask for your permission first. I'll always be here and supporting you man ;)
You dont need to ask at all, its a public platform i cannot stop you from simply making a video, but I respect that from you, go for it. All the best on your experience
Thank you for sharing this. My boyfriend says how much I mean to him yet I feel like im nothing after my family passed away. I think we get so lost in our mind we forget how much of a impact we have on others. For example if you weren't here I would be affected and sad although I don't know you, I love what you got to say and your presence is comforting. AND yes workout helps I been doing this just to feel something a reminder im alive cause ive been dissocating, feelint dead.
Its important to remember those who have passed, they are with you, and part of you and always will be.. for me, its something silly like if I make pastry, I can 'feel' my nan, she used to make pastry with us when we were tiny.. it makes me smile, something so simple can feel so connected. Give yourself time to breathe, it sounds like you have a lot to carry, but never underestimate who you are and what you bring to people, like your boyfriend just by being who you are.
Thank you friend I needed to hear this today. I am glad you feel your family's presence when you make something that's familiar, I understand how painful it is losing people but like you said, it's a part to life. It's the order of things not easy. I'm glad to hearing that working out is helping you aswell. I have to make myself work out but after I do, I feel better!
Pain doesn't just pan out and maintain a steady rate. It doesn't just become almost tolerable and there you go. Pain can become worse and worse and persist that trajectory. It's unfair to think that we should just keep eating shit and think we can just get used to it, not for everyone. We need to rethink our views on suicide, not trying to stick it out. No one has the monopoly on what this pain is or how we should deal with it.
It’s my belief that if we end this life early, that we’re only going to be placed back here to do it again. It’s something we must endure and go through. That belief, although may be false is what keeps me holding on.
It would be nice if there was better support for people struggling with mh. Unfortunately a lot of people do suffer in silence and call it quits, or others lash out or hurt others.
Great video Adam. Sorry to hear that about your brother's friend. I struggled a lot w the thoughts and definitely found that trying to remain present helped as like you said when you get lost in your thoughts and the what ifs you start basing your decisions on your inner pain instead of rationality; but like you said, it's not the answer to your pain as it doesn't solve it, it just stops you before you can try. Especially when there's the shame of not succeeding etc, how is giving up better than continuing on? Even if it's not great it's best to keep going. And exercise like you said can be so grounding, life can feel unreal sometimes esp. when stuck ruminating on dark thoughts but the burn of your body after running etc. reminds you that you are real. Also, pretty sure exercising in general releases happy hormones 😁 and the more you do it the more in tune with your body you might feel and therefore maybe also happier 😁.
I had a moment in 2019 august. I was able to have a second of clarity and threw up the pills and after a hospital visit no organs got permanent damage. Still havnt processed the situation and the toxic relationship I was in that year with that girl...
I hear what you are saying I honestly do. Fortunately there's much more life can give once you start seeing it, and thats the battle a lot of people face, feeling that everything is against them and there is only 1 option left.. yet, thats just as much an option as anything else.. the only difference is while everything else requires endless dedication and work.. this is a 'simple' done 1 thing, get 1 result... its just easier, rather than becoming somebody that shuts the mind up and puts it in its place.
@Add- in diagnosed adhd with cptsd from awful abuse as youngster..have brain injuries from said abuse... had a stroke.. real bad anxiety. My brain feels like it's dying slowly.. but, you know the worst thing is? Loneliness..abject Loneliness..people I meet ? Think I'm a little wierd..
14:20 The people that care for you don't know how they can effectively help you. Most likely they don't really even know what is happening to you or why. 15:05 That is exactly the answer.
He's clearly an over thinker and depressed like me. He's got balls to talk about it in here it's comforting to listen to somebody with similar thoughts to myself.
My uncle took his own life in 2005, he was 35 and had three kids aged 13, 5, and 3. Last year (2022) his youngest daughter (my little cousin) who was three when he died, she took her own life while she was away at uni. All her life we tried to help her but she couldn’t get over her dad’s death and the shadow that it cast over our family, it devastated everyone and she grew up with that from her earliest memories. I genuinely believe my uncle thought he was doing the best thing for his kids, he adored them. He thought they’d be better off without him.
But if I could just say one thing to him and to every man (or woman) in a similar point in their life I would say that the people who love you are NEVER better off without you. No matter how much pain you are in, it CAN get better but if you end it then there is no hope of it ever getting better. Find a person, anyone, and tell them. We’re all stronger together and we have to be there for eachother.
A temporary problem, no matter how bleak, does not require a permanent solution.
Hi Adam. Last year was terrible for me. I came so close to the end. If it had not been for my sister getting to the house so quickly i would have been gone. Not just a sadness but a horrible mental pain that became unbearable. Could not read, watch TV or even listen to radio. Ended up in hospital and the first month was pure hell. Had a nurse watching me 24/7 because i was so suicidal. I'm older than you and have suffered depression since 15. I wish mental illnesses did not exist.
Point is you are here, you acknowledge the battle which is 1 thing as many would rather not. It doesn't make it any easier but where you can see that it is something rather than nothing, for me personally that helps me sit down and work through it.
I am grateful that you left this comment, and you still kicking.. I know it can't be easy some days. But that wind in the air that sun, the rain.. the simple things in life we take for granted, that we over look on those day days.. as corny as it sounds.. can help
I needed this today. You've made me cry... but in a good way as I needed the release. The internal war still rages on in my head and my body feels like it's ready to give up on me, but your videos are of great comfort and I wish you all the best.
Keeping hanging in there. You never know what is around the corner and although it can be daunting, it is always exciting when you truly don't know what a day can bring. For example today, I decided to change my usual self at work and randomly said to a work colleague "high five!" And he reacted by giving that high five. He was smiling all day after that. It is amazing how such a simple gesture which lifts someone else's spirits can affect your own in a personal way. Same goes for Adam and this channel everyone is opening up thanks to this channel and it's a blessing
Hey Adam. Very sorry to hear that. As we age we start losing people. It is what it is there’s no fighting against it. We are born we go through shit and then we die. And none of us can change that. Live each day and be happy with what you have. I’m currently not in pain, just the clock ticking. I’m working tomorrow 7-3 and then I come home for dinner with my parents. I’m an only child. It gets lonely but I f’n deal with it.
You are still young you can do anything you want.. Don't let depression lie to you its a monster.
That's a hard subject everyone is going through a lot of uncertainty including myself. I'm stuck in the same limited job situation! My life is very boring and routine! Ive never been successful! I rely on relatives for food and shelter! I I have no where else to go . I'm alive and fully healthy thank goodness but unfortunately don't know if I'll make it 10 years unless there is a divine intervention! I might not see my young niece and nephew grow up! Everyone I know is busy with their own families now . Just gotta push through
you highlighted it though, your said it yourself, routine and boring, its not divine intervention that you need, its just making 1 new choice to change any aspect of your life in a positive way, looking for a huge change to happen over night is not it. making 1 tiny change that you work at and do consistently, brings a change in everything because of what you learn about yourself
@Add- it's gonna be extremely hard for Me to make a change at this stage of my life . Career change or starting a business is hard for a person in their mid 40s because of age discrimination. I've tried and I'm stuck in the same hole . A life of mistakes and screw ups for me
Hi Adam. I've recently subbed and watched some of your previous videos. You seem like a guy who has a lot of empathy and understanding. I'm not sure where you are with your health etc now and what your plans are regarding work. But what struck me while I watched this video is how great a therapist you would be. Have you ever considered doing a course in therapy or something like that because I think that that could be your calling?, if you will...anyway, just my thoughts. Have a good day
Hey Adam. It's 4:00 AM where I live right now. I just got back from a late-night walk. I have a hard time sleeping nowadays. I'm not sure if you can identify with this but lately, I've felt like life just keeps knocking me down. I'm 18 and I feel like my life up until this moment has been unpleasant. Maybe I'm a dreamer but something in me just refuses to give up due to the possibility of things getting better. Guys like you and I are all too aware of our own realities. We know something's wrong. I often find that people who can think outside of the box and think critically are successful in the long run. Hopefully we're no exception. It's time to put our minds to good use. Carpediem, my guy.
you are only 18 years you have another 60-plus years.
@@pageantgrosvenortruss me these are the years where you can figure your life out
You have an entire life ahead of you, lots of time time to figure things out.
@@moneyfornothing3264 Yeah everyone wishes to be 18 again. I honestly don't mind it if I could replay it.. he's young, has more time than all of us that are older thats for sure. Til this day I still have a p*rn problem and I j*** off a lot. At that age you can eat like sh*t and get away with it your body be like fine no problem. Party hard with the girls if you have them. Just don't do drugs, and also you don't want to have too much fun on the road when you're driving. Thats what I would tell my 18 year old self. I never did that right after high school. It was also covid I was just working all the time at some local store. 4 years on now 22 still trying to figure it out... I'll be fine til I die. Just hasn't happened yet even tho I think about it all the time. Doesn't really help at all
0359 here in copenhagen and im JUST going for a late night walk
It's impossible for most men to build their dream lives after the age of 40. You just don't have the time anymore. And yet you could still be living for another 50 years stagnating inside your own mind. That's harrowing. I'm 32 at the moment and think about this a lot.
It’s always a pleasure to listen to you Adam, you are right about doing something physical to just exhaust your body, hitting the gym every single day feels like I am cleansing my body and because I do it first thing in the morning it sets me up to tackle the rest of the day so much easier.
Be like a flower, always try to look for and face the light.
'Be like a flower, always try to look for and face the light.' thats beautiful
Adam, I am 45 and found your first video about failing. For once, I found someone who I could truly identify with. Your story rang so painfully true for me - and this video is another that just struck a chord with me, having been down this road myself. Three years of dealing with my depression and I am *just* starting to come out the other side. Before that I had been suffering since my late teens, quietly. Covid, and the subsequent redundancy was the trigger that pushed me further down that dark avenue, to the point I didnt feel there was any light. I didnt feel I was worthy of any light - I was alone, no matter how many people were around me. It wasn't a case of how any more, it was just a case of which day, soon.
Your ability to talk about things and analyse the situation with rational head in front of the camera is a huge help to us in your community. Too many video take the lighter hearted approach of what you should ideally do to get through. Which is great, when it all works in a perfect world - but the very fact we are talking about it clearly shows we dont live in a perfect world.. But listening to you, I hear the reality. Your videos help more than you know. Suddenly I am not alone after all.
Thank you Adam for being one of the most humble, honest, open and relatable channels on here. Stay strong, you are an inspiration to many of us - whether you know it or not.
Just keep going. Day at a time bit at a time, thats what helped me.. I still have very dark moments, but my experiences has taught me, its better to live those bad times, to respect that they happen, the dont define us, but its so easy to let them rule us.
Day at a time
@@Add-I have recently found that self-talk, challenging my negative thoughts instead of just accepting them. It's taken three years of trying, trying to remain strong against the dark thoughts. I have had professional support too, but found the self talking/challenging - even telling yourself you are worth it (even if every fibre of your being feels you aren't) to be the thing that works best for me. I didn't believe myself to begin with, but slowly, over time, I started to think 'you know what, maybe I am worth something'. Something was better than nothing, so I took that as a win, allowed myself to acknowledge it as a win for me. It may be a minor step for many, but for me it has meant I have turned around and started to fight back against the darkness.
Thats a huge step in my opinion. Its been one of my own personal battles too. I have nonidea why I am not kinder to myself, and I have tried it lately and it is very hard trying to counter the natural negativity.. some days it works some days not so much, but you found something that started to be positive for you, and that is a huge thing.. big praise that !
I have been around trying to find good UA-camrs of late, it is not easy, but glad I found this channel.
Hey Adam - a tough and heartfelt video here and a lot of golden nuggets of wisdom for anyone feeling like there's no hope. I believe it was Friedrich Nietzsche who said "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Through your own struggles, it would appear that you have become stronger and are now able to lend a helping hand to others. God bless you for that! Just sending words of encouragement to stay on your upwards path ..... you are fighting the good fight.
Adam this video really hits home, everyone has their own personal demons.
Just unfortunately some of us know when to call it quits, it's not asign of weakness, it's just a sign of there was no improvement in the long run.
Hey Gavin, I know you didn't ask for this response from a random person on youtube, but here we are 😊I'd say, calling it quits is easier than you think, I used to tell myself I was just attention seeking anyway, I needed to show myself I could do it. Unfortunately some of us know when to call it quits, having a logical mind is both a blessing and a curse. Our minds are incomplete though, we know that death is the end but we certainly do not know what the long run has for us. Life throws us some serious lemons too, in these situations the answer seems obvious. I was close to my dad and when he died I cried like baby for months, when my wife left, I felt like a failure, and deteriorating health led me to one conclusion. But I'm glad I found help, help is the best advice I can give, when you feel you're out of options there's always help but you need to find it. Godspeed mate ✨
Hi Adam,
First off, thank you. I think this is the best video you’ve made so far and I hope it goes viral so a lot of people will get to hear your message. I think it will help a lot of people.
Second, as someone who has dealt with these thoughts myself, on top of everything you said I would like to add that it’s a good exercise to think of all the good moments that you would never have gotten to experience had you been successful. It can be as big as meeting the love of your life or as small as discovering a TV show you like or having a restful night’s sleep. There’s always bad moments, but as long as we’re alive we get the chance to experience more good moments too and I think that potential is worth fighting for
i really love how you use your newly found possibility to reach a huge amount of subscribers for such an important message. i am sure that you help a lot of people without even realizing. you are a good person, adam. and i really hope you feel proud of yourself for being so empathic and using your own experiences to help others.
Thats very kind of you, I still battle a lot, so seeing pride at the moment is way off. Slowly though, just like everybody else, I am just trying each day to just be a little better to and for myself.
Like Jordan Peterson says... " The thing about "self-deletion" is, you can always do it tomorrow " One day at a time...
The thoughts you have while you feel down are quite revealing to what the real reason is you feel that way. When I feel down I always think about where I am in life in contrast to where I should be in my mind. This is the reason I feel down. Yea you can call this mental illness or whatnot but the reason is quite clear. Lack of success in life in my case. What helps? Well there's no antidode to keep trying to be that what you want to be, there's no shortcut or mental trick.
i get these thoughts daily .have done for years. got worst after a breakup and other traumas a few years ago. never told anyone though. no one to really tell . im a guy early 40s.. im just used to these thoughts,it feels part of who i am now.
i felt that loneliness too and it hurts, but the way out it is never the option, we all came here for a reason.
I absolutely love this, I struggled to hold the tears back. There is always a piece of gold somewhere for you, you just have to dig through sh1t for it sometimes and you never know how deep the gold is buried. Keep fighting and never give up
Adam this was no easy video to approach and produce, and yet you did a superb job of it. 🙂 Many would shy away from making such a video. 🙂 Trauma alone is a horrendous thing, and with it can also come arrested development. Personally I don't think enough is being done in this area, and arrested development alone can be someone's development on hold for the duration of their life...
You also touched on society's expectation of males being equipped to handle all that life chucks at them. That is great when parents etc. equip their off-spring to stand on their own two feet with the foresight and self-belief and self-awareness to handle all manner of situations, but sadly that is often not the case. Also not everyone transitions from dependency (tied to their Mother's apron strings) to being independent, which can be the difference between taking action from a place of grit and determination to a place of expecting answers given on a plate. I am a strong advocate of getting people to a place of self-assurance, self-belief and self-aware of their strengths and weaknesses, equipping them with the foresight to make sound decisions and tackle life head on, and personally (I'm no health professional etc), I think this goes hand-in-hand with mental well-being and strength of mind.
Also how much do we understand about biological afflictions like bi-polar, schizophrenia etc. and the impact that has on someone's daily life. Medication obviously has its place, but what about focus on realistic expectations and understanding which transcend into coping strategies and how best to navigate for quality of life etc. Also with some afflictions there can be stigmas attached (e.g. schizophrenia), and someone's interpretation of such a label can in itself be debilitating.
Thank you once again Adam for this video and your wise words and insight. 🙂
I can relate very much, that's exactly what keeps me from quiting, the curiosity to know what will happen next in my life. If I quit I will not experience more good things the world has to offer.
Thanks for making this video Adam, this kind of discussion is needed now more than ever 🙏
Thank you for expressing what ive been feeling.
I tend to just keep myself busy in order to not think.
These past two days at home ia messing with my head. These feelings just came flooding in.
Not sure why UA-cam recommend your first upload but I'm glad to see you're still around!
You never know what's around the corner and apparently you're never to late to go back to Uni!
My long time friend is heading back to Uni and he turned 33 earlier this year!
The way I get through things is goals, some can seem effortless, some maybe for leasure reasons, others long term. As long as you've got something to work towards! :)
All the best!
Thank you, for being here with us, to present this video.
Beautifully said brother
I have had great success with prescription medication for depression & anxiety. Without them I’m a mess and prone to the thoughts you address in the video. I encourage everyone to embrace modern medicine and see a professional who can help your mental illness.
Hey Adam. I subbed to you back with your first video 10 months ago where you showed who you were, and I have watched you since. I am 19 in the UK, and I have attempted to quit life three times as I felt I failed life so much by missing out and my classmates overtaking me, but I didn't succeed. I wanted to say that I always liked your videos because the way you talk is so genuine and honest.
You hang in there buddy. I know it not as easy as that. But just ever day gives you the opportunity, I know its so corny to hear that, but its true, start small, aiming big will feel out of reach, start so small you can achieve it, day by day, but at a time, you can beat the darkness.. you are clearly here for more than you know at the moment 💪😊
I'm 32 now, let me tell you something 19 is so so young! When I was 19 though I felt exactly the same, I had failed college a few times and everyone had passed me by doing A levels and uni etc. it was depressing and I felt a failure. When you hit your 30's you will look back at being 25 and under as being a baby!
Your relatable videos give people some extra hope and help keep them moving forward and feeling less alone. Thank you for filming your honest thoughts
Adam you are a wise man.
I 110% agree with your message.
And to people out there struggling: Know that you too will be as wise as Adam one day. Struggling builds something within each and everyone of us. Its like nothing can face us, cause what could be worse then our struggles been in the past? That’s worth fighting for.
Thank you very much for the video. Your words comforted me, and made me feel less alone. I'm afraid of feeling pain, fear, and burnout, but at the same time I lack faith, and patience. I succumb to negativity and stress when i should instead stand up for myself and not let stressful moments shape me into someone i dont want to be.
You've acknowledged that you let the stress take hold, which means you can see when its happening, thats huge to overcoming it so you feel more in control. If it takes a moment to step back and breath, so be it. You are the captain of your ship!
As I told you a couple of days ago, I’m fighting the urge to die everyday. I still play rugby as well but I don’t lift weights too much. Your message is helping me through very dark times. Thank you for your honesty and compassion. I simply love your channel because it resonates so much within me. Big hug from the 32 yo chilean rugby player.
Life is like defending the try line.. endless pressure.. sometimes you want yo give up when you feel you have nothing left, but you won't give up that easily. Your power is huge, your ability to keep going is underestimated.
Your still here , your still fighting brother.. you can push through the dark times
@@Add-Good analogy. Thanks for your response. I wish you the best.
Hi Adam, I've never been it that situation before but sadly have knowamy around me too I'm that situation. I glad you are still here and am using UA-cam to release the emotions and share with us. Wake up calls are important and I have had a wake up calls for different reasons.
I just want to also say you have inspired me to re focus my channel and make similar vlog life entries myself again.
I was thinking of doing a response video to you, but wanted to ask for your permission first.
I'll always be here and supporting you man ;)
You dont need to ask at all, its a public platform i cannot stop you from simply making a video, but I respect that from you, go for it. All the best on your experience
When leaving the house is stressful..its isolation
Thank you for sharing this. My boyfriend says how much I mean to him yet I feel like im nothing after my family passed away. I think we get so lost in our mind we forget how much of a impact we have on others. For example if you weren't here I would be affected and sad although I don't know you, I love what you got to say and your presence is comforting. AND yes workout helps I been doing this just to feel something a reminder im alive cause ive been dissocating, feelint dead.
Its important to remember those who have passed, they are with you, and part of you and always will be.. for me, its something silly like if I make pastry, I can 'feel' my nan, she used to make pastry with us when we were tiny.. it makes me smile, something so simple can feel so connected. Give yourself time to breathe, it sounds like you have a lot to carry, but never underestimate who you are and what you bring to people, like your boyfriend just by being who you are.
Thank you friend I needed to hear this today. I am glad you feel your family's presence when you make something that's familiar, I understand how painful it is losing people but like you said, it's a part to life. It's the order of things not easy. I'm glad to hearing that working out is helping you aswell. I have to make myself work out but after I do, I feel better!
Pain doesn't just pan out and maintain a steady rate. It doesn't just become almost tolerable and there you go. Pain can become worse and worse and persist that trajectory. It's unfair to think that we should just keep eating shit and think we can just get used to it, not for everyone. We need to rethink our views on suicide, not trying to stick it out. No one has the monopoly on what this pain is or how we should deal with it.
It’s my belief that if we end this life early, that we’re only going to be placed back here to do it again. It’s something we must endure and go through. That belief, although may be false is what keeps me holding on.
It would be nice if there was better support for people struggling with mh. Unfortunately a lot of people do suffer in silence and call it quits, or others lash out or hurt others.
Référencement algorythme 🙏 🇲🇫
Great video Adam. Sorry to hear that about your brother's friend. I struggled a lot w the thoughts and definitely found that trying to remain present helped as like you said when you get lost in your thoughts and the what ifs you start basing your decisions on your inner pain instead of rationality; but like you said, it's not the answer to your pain as it doesn't solve it, it just stops you before you can try. Especially when there's the shame of not succeeding etc, how is giving up better than continuing on? Even if it's not great it's best to keep going. And exercise like you said can be so grounding, life can feel unreal sometimes esp. when stuck ruminating on dark thoughts but the burn of your body after running etc. reminds you that you are real. Also, pretty sure exercising in general releases happy hormones 😁 and the more you do it the more in tune with your body you might feel and therefore maybe also happier 😁.
I had a moment in 2019 august. I was able to have a second of clarity and threw up the pills and after a hospital visit no organs got permanent damage. Still havnt processed the situation and the toxic relationship I was in that year with that girl...
I'm glad to hear you had the moment of clarity when it was needed!!
Just not to wake up..seems like a gift
I hear what you are saying I honestly do. Fortunately there's much more life can give once you start seeing it, and thats the battle a lot of people face, feeling that everything is against them and there is only 1 option left.. yet, thats just as much an option as anything else.. the only difference is while everything else requires endless dedication and work.. this is a 'simple' done 1 thing, get 1 result... its just easier, rather than becoming somebody that shuts the mind up and puts it in its place.
@Add- in diagnosed adhd with cptsd from awful abuse as youngster..have brain injuries from said abuse... had a stroke.. real bad anxiety. My brain feels like it's dying slowly.. but, you know the worst thing is? Loneliness..abject Loneliness..people I meet ? Think I'm a little wierd..
Its my only possible real option
14:20 The people that care for you don't know how they can effectively help you. Most likely they don't really even know what is happening to you or why. 15:05 That is exactly the answer.
Im really jyst too exhausted
you were looking for a direction, a career path. well, this channel is it potentially or councilor type thing?
🫶
Its an epidemic
Adam , you look like a burglar.Are you in someone's lounge in the middle of the night with the owners sleeping upstairs.
Not quite the lounge, but yes to the middle of the night and yes to the owners sleeping upstairs
bro, why do you complicate life so much?
He's clearly an over thinker and depressed like me. He's got balls to talk about it in here it's comforting to listen to somebody with similar thoughts to myself.
@@jacobs3031 that's the problem. Too much of that comfort, and people stay in the shittery. Moving out of the depression is very uncomfortable.