Eating 25-Year-Old Military Rations

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

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  • @ModernRogue
    @ModernRogue  4 роки тому +125

    We're giving away our newest puzzle box The Labyrinth to FIVE lucky winners. Sign up for the giveaway at gimme.scamstuff.com. We've just launched our newest puzzle box, Labyrinth, featuring a maze puzzle, two decks of Diamond Jim's new Bamboozlers Playing Cards featuring 52 classic bar bets, and a set of Delta Dice for head-to-head action you'll always have a leg up on. Pre-orders are live NOW over at www.scamstuff.com/products/labyrinth. See it in action at: ua-cam.com/video/0GYv8qjf1nA/v-deo.html
    But that's not all! . Sign up and you may just walk away with our biggest puzzle box yet. No purchase necessary, giveaway ends 12/17/2020.
    Congrats to the winners of last week's Extra Credit DVD giveaway: Nathaniel Buck, Dustin Bryan, Laurie Ann Hunter, Alexander Russel, Kevin BigSexy Hanes, Oblong Grape, Cas Meganck, and Ryan Chomko. We will contact you via email within the next two weeks.

    • @fletcherbullock7291
      @fletcherbullock7291 4 роки тому

      Love the video!!!

    • @Blackpheonix99
      @Blackpheonix99 4 роки тому

      You guys should do more weapons training please!! Like arnis/escrima or kendo maybe get Doug marcaida

    • @Blackpheonix99
      @Blackpheonix99 4 роки тому +2

      Jason: "is this toilet paper?...yeah I'm going to need that later..."
      Me: lmao no you won't!!
      (P.s. for those that don't know MREs are notorious for stopping you up like a bear getting ready for hibernation)

    • @FirstNameLastName-mt9ln
      @FirstNameLastName-mt9ln 4 роки тому

      I already pre-ordered my labyrinth puzzle box

    • @eliasdaw5088
      @eliasdaw5088 4 роки тому

      doesn't matter if civilians have mres. I'm a wildland firefighter and they deal those out in the truckload 🤣 +The Modern Rogue

  • @bdL91
    @bdL91 4 роки тому +493

    How they eat these is like how it actually is in the military. You either hate MREs like Jason (and will starve in the woods), or revisit your childhood with every meal like Brian.

    • @boid9761
      @boid9761 3 роки тому +49

      Or Steve who developed an immune system and gut biosphere designed to consume "food" over more than half a century old

    • @BigSchlebowski
      @BigSchlebowski 2 роки тому +18

      @@boid9761 they need to make a probiotic drink using steves gut flora
      We would transcend into like dogs able to eat raw meat and drink still water lol

    • @boid9761
      @boid9761 2 роки тому +9

      @@BigSchlebowski Humanity will reclaim their Ice Age endurance by then

    • @jonathankhuzkian6419
      @jonathankhuzkian6419 2 роки тому +5

      Yup. I loved them when dad brought them home. I'm still trying to figure out where to get some cause they are nice for a real quick meal.

    • @It-Will-All-Be-Okay-I-Promise
      @It-Will-All-Be-Okay-I-Promise 2 роки тому +7

      @@jonathankhuzkian6419 Well, I guess the web would be the first place to look. It’s not actually illegal to sell them, just discouraged by the military and government, so you should be able to find them on your common sell stuff website.

  • @critterjon4061
    @critterjon4061 4 роки тому +577

    steave1989mre: *laughing through a mouth full of 200 year old meat dust*

  • @Laughtrackk_
    @Laughtrackk_ 4 роки тому +466

    "Not sure this one's safe"
    Takes another massive bite.

    • @azzuo6957
      @azzuo6957 4 роки тому +4

      I wanna like but you're at 69 rn

  • @achillesegaruoc1807
    @achillesegaruoc1807 4 роки тому +383

    "Oh my god, I just realized I can mix the peanut butter and the chocolate!" You sir, just became an MRE chef.

    • @ChrisLeeW00
      @ChrisLeeW00 2 роки тому +6

      There should be a merit badge for that lol

  • @aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh2663
    @aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh2663 4 роки тому +193

    After the first 8 minutes, Brian never spoke with an empty mouth. He was just lovin it so much.
    Seriously enjoyed seeing you guys almost swap roles, with Brian being the dude saying, “come on its not that bad,” and Jason looking on with total disgust and confusion.

  • @FlazooMedia
    @FlazooMedia 4 роки тому +395

    Brian: Grows out his hair. Voraciously eats quarter century old snacks. Describes the taste as "twisty". That boy's on drugs.

    • @hapymine9632
      @hapymine9632 4 роки тому +18

      Smokeing too mutch weed

    • @aidenmiller3832
      @aidenmiller3832 4 роки тому +11

      He’s practicing for the weed episode

    • @hapymine9632
      @hapymine9632 4 роки тому +13

      @@aidenmiller3832 a gentlemen guide to weed.

    • @sunnohh
      @sunnohh 4 роки тому +2

      @@hapymine9632 as long as he can spell, he can smoke all the weed he wants....

    • @HayabusaRyuu
      @HayabusaRyuu 4 роки тому

      *Gong*

  • @RBelmont007
    @RBelmont007 4 роки тому +468

    Brian: "Watch me consume!"
    Jason: *existential crisis commences*

  • @vicsmotos3702
    @vicsmotos3702 4 роки тому +416

    New modern rouge channel called “Modern Rouge Eats” or MRE for short

    • @kylebishop9519
      @kylebishop9519 4 роки тому +22

      R O G U E. R O G U E. R O G U E.
      Brian's been spelling it for you four years! 😆

    • @jackdidathing3716
      @jackdidathing3716 4 роки тому +9

      @@kylebishop9519 R O G U E

    • @nienke7713
      @nienke7713 4 роки тому +25

      I'm still waiting for the "The Modern Rouge" spin-off make-up channel

    • @gravysamich
      @gravysamich 4 роки тому +2

      make it happen shwood!

    • @nienke7713
      @nienke7713 4 роки тому

      @@RICDirector That could be an option, or it's Brian and Jason doing some camouflage make-up stuff or something, who knows...

  • @kcoyne6362
    @kcoyne6362 2 роки тому +76

    Brian! I have good(-ish) news for you.
    That *twisty* taste of the chocolate was somewhat intentional (and therefore likely safe). Milton Hershey company created a process that extended the life of milk chocolate by partially souring the milk to prevent it from fully souring. A byproduct of this partial souring is one of the same chemicals that is found in vomit, butyric acid.
    This process was created during wwii to allow the soldier to have chocolatein their rations and is why Hershey became so popular. After the war the soldiers came home and had normal milk chocolate that didn't need its shelf life extended. The soldiers were upset that it didn't taste like they remembered, so Hershey started selling their specialized chocolate to the public. Other chocolate producers followed suit and now the majority of American chocolate undergoes this process, although at a lower amount.
    Fun fact, this is why other countries complain about the taste of american chocolate. This is also part of what makes imported chocolates taste so much better in comparison.

    • @byte.mp311
      @byte.mp311 Рік тому +13

      That would explain why I hate Hershey's chocolate, it was always that bitter "twisty" taste. Thanks for the info

    • @Cheerybelle
      @Cheerybelle Рік тому +7

      mmm
      soured vomit chocolate
      my favorite

  • @gadg3tguy05
    @gadg3tguy05 4 роки тому +241

    Alternate title: Brian eats "food" and Jason has a mental breakdown.

  • @tmazterable
    @tmazterable 4 роки тому +302

    Next up on The Modern Rogue: Brian resets the injury counter with botulism and dysentery

  • @fletcherbullock7291
    @fletcherbullock7291 4 роки тому +800

    *Steve1989MREInfo laughing in Boer Wars era rations*

  • @LeoAzzakaGoile
    @LeoAzzakaGoile 4 роки тому +158

    Jason: Thinking... 'Ohh, Ohhh... That's what "twisty" is'
    Me: TEARS

  • @t2kxdevil784
    @t2kxdevil784 4 роки тому +457

    You know steve1989 said "nice hiss" when he opened the crackers.

    • @wren7195
      @wren7195 4 роки тому +21

      "THIS APPLESAUCE HAS A STAIN ON IT!!!!" and I can't for the life of me remember who said that........
      Steve's a boss. And younger than me. I expire in another six years though

    • @Mr_Macabres_Tales35516
      @Mr_Macabres_Tales35516 4 роки тому +6

      Probably said let's get this on a tray to

    • @braedonlewis1487
      @braedonlewis1487 3 роки тому +3

      Let's get this on the tray

    • @muradinstormforge
      @muradinstormforge 3 роки тому +4

      Let's get this on a tray. Nice!

    • @asher8085
      @asher8085 3 роки тому

      @T2kx devil Man this comment got me all excited thinking he was actually going to be on this episode🤣🤣🤣damn you for getting my hopes up haha

  • @shaderu3402
    @shaderu3402 4 роки тому +73

    “I will take a full-on bite out of that Tang brick.”
    “No you won’t. No you will not.”

  • @ASilentS
    @ASilentS 4 роки тому +294

    New Slogan:
    Modern Rogue, Just a little bit twisty.

    • @Taz86
      @Taz86 4 роки тому +3

      I swear to god if this isn't a shirt by Christmas I'm unsubscribing

    • @microArc
      @microArc 4 роки тому +5

      it's gotta be written in that cursed crooked font 😂

  • @EchosTackyTiki
    @EchosTackyTiki 4 роки тому +180

    "Is that a moist towelette?" "No it's a dry towelette. Not even moist."
    Boys, that's toilet paper. And it's woefully to little of it too accommodate the shits you're going to have in a few hours if you go anywhere near the "Chili with Beans" MRE.
    For the record, one of the funniest episodes you guys have ever done. Ranks up there with the Hot Pepper Gauntlet for me.
    Edit: That GI cheese is why you only get three squares from a shit roll. It will back you up so far Brian's hair will be spiky again.

  • @Creativospym
    @Creativospym 4 роки тому +276

    "Saltines are not great" said that man who eats lightbulb glass LOL

    • @mynamethog1151
      @mynamethog1151 4 роки тому +9

      To be fair, literal light bulbs would probably be a more enjoyable eating experience than ungodly stale saltines

    • @DoubsGaming
      @DoubsGaming 4 роки тому +6

      wait he ate lightbulb glass? what video was this?

    • @guppyvo
      @guppyvo 4 роки тому +9

      @@DoubsGaming a very old scam school video from 2012

    • @overthinking3573
      @overthinking3573 4 роки тому +5

      @@mynamethog1151 its vacuum sealed, literally cannot go stale.

    • @jeremybabin7435
      @jeremybabin7435 4 роки тому +3

      @@overthinking3573 yeah going stale is the least of their worries with the saltines hahaha

  • @anveerchanderman3388
    @anveerchanderman3388 4 роки тому +94

    It's times like these that I remember that Brian started out as carnie folk, and I'm so happy about that.

    • @nicestpancake
      @nicestpancake 3 роки тому +3

      Not me having heavy inspiration for my next DND character;

  • @JustinOwenthebeardedginger
    @JustinOwenthebeardedginger 4 роки тому +82

    I can just see Brian's epitaph now:
    "Here lies Brian Brushwood.
    He ate one to many 25 year old MRE's.
    Jason Murphy was right all along."

  • @paranoidmarv
    @paranoidmarv 4 роки тому +143

    Brian: "Careful, we'll start a fire!"/"Maybe we should wear eye protection."/"We need gloves if we're going to use knives."
    Also Brian: "Botulism? Never heard of it. om nom nom nom"

  • @ryant1626
    @ryant1626 4 роки тому +27

    19:55 "I assume garlic is a preservative. I mean, it keeps Vampire's away, right?" - greatest comment ever mentioned by the human race

  • @TrashmeisterGarbage
    @TrashmeisterGarbage 4 роки тому +312

    For those wondering: Yes, they do STILL say "rock or something".

    • @spacesabove8780
      @spacesabove8780 4 роки тому +19

      Yup. Just ate a basically new one (2018) today and that's what it said

    • @Troublingarcher7
      @Troublingarcher7 4 роки тому +15

      If it ain't broke don't fix it

    • @Whiskey_Assassin
      @Whiskey_Assassin 4 роки тому +19

      Only the most advanced technical terminology is allowed in MREs

    • @thishonestgrifter
      @thishonestgrifter 4 роки тому +21

      I prefer to use a something, it adds better flavour than the rock

    • @EricJAllain
      @EricJAllain 4 роки тому +28

      The instructions are for people who also need claymores to have labels on which side points to the enemy. If it didn't say "or something" at least one of the guys from my unit would still be wandering iraq looking for a rock

  • @RussCottier
    @RussCottier 4 роки тому +63

    Brian fun fact: “vegan” was a term coined by Donald Watson in the UK in November 1944.

  • @Ironthrash
    @Ironthrash 4 роки тому +55

    This just reinforces my idea that Brian wasn't faking it when he became a changeling.

    • @gluttonousgoddess
      @gluttonousgoddess 3 роки тому

      What video was that?

    • @Ironthrash
      @Ironthrash 3 роки тому +1

      @@gluttonousgoddess I think it was one of the potato cannon ones

  • @Whiskey_Assassin
    @Whiskey_Assassin 4 роки тому +311

    Brian chowing like a true GI. Trading components, mixing components lol.

    • @mumzly1
      @mumzly1 4 роки тому +32

      That was the proper experience. I know I'd be trading off that fig bar for some freeze dried peaches, or a cookie bar.

    • @SNG2me
      @SNG2me 4 роки тому +15

      @@mumzly1 you quickly learned who traded what in your unit so you could get the meal you preferred.

    • @NavySeal2k
      @NavySeal2k 4 роки тому +3

      @@SNG2me We had a mosquito net on a branch so no animals can get to it with our "leaf a part take a part" MRE (EPA actually) buffet.

    • @AlbertoDsign
      @AlbertoDsign 3 роки тому

      @@NavySeal2k leaf?

    • @NavySeal2k
      @NavySeal2k 3 роки тому +5

      @@AlbertoDsign leave! English is not my first language and when I type fast in the middle of the night my brain substitutes words that sound right ;P

  • @iamtoast3397
    @iamtoast3397 4 роки тому +396

    SteveMRE is gonna be watching this like "WHERE ARE YOUR TRAYS?!"

  • @TheGreenDhampir
    @TheGreenDhampir 4 роки тому +53

    Brian in the apocalypse eating like a king, dies on the toilette ...
    Jason in the apocalypse eating nothing, dies by starvation ...

  • @smilysht238
    @smilysht238 4 роки тому +31

    Having been in the military for a number of years I can honestly say that Brian gets it

  • @ljanitza
    @ljanitza 4 роки тому +85

    "Getting food poisoning" Speedrun any% no glitches 26:48 WR

    • @卂匚几
      @卂匚几 3 роки тому

      Brains the world champ put the award on his grave

  • @soundslikealottahoopla7752
    @soundslikealottahoopla7752 4 роки тому +70

    I was really hoping for a "Let's get this out on a tray. Nice!", but then I saw Brian eat everything that was gross and realized that they probably have never watched a video on old MREs

    • @Klobilob
      @Klobilob 4 роки тому +4

      Steve1989MREInfo is a legend

  • @NKL3085
    @NKL3085 4 роки тому +288

    "Nice." - Steve1989MREInfo

  • @OlaMagnusLie
    @OlaMagnusLie 4 роки тому +165

    I'll have what Brian smoked before this was taped.

  • @themiddleman9376
    @themiddleman9376 4 роки тому +30

    Watching Brian getting so excited over rations is so precious.

  • @lonniewibberding5715
    @lonniewibberding5715 3 роки тому +12

    I think my favorite part is when Brian pours Tabasco sauce on the cracker, looks at it for a second as if contemplating life choices, and then just goes full-send XD

  • @Platinum_Tugboat
    @Platinum_Tugboat 4 роки тому +156

    Shoutout to Steve1989MREInfo on UA-cam! This is stuff he does REGULARLY and it's sooo entertaining, love that Modern Rogue is making a video like this.

  • @thomasschwab7431
    @thomasschwab7431 4 роки тому +89

    This episode. we uncover brian's weird eating stories, and terminology.

  • @nickhohl3468
    @nickhohl3468 4 роки тому +19

    Brian is eating his MREs properly with trading and mixing and jason is the one to die first in a war movie. Brian would stay alive just for plot and comedic relief, but jason is for sure dying first.

  • @TachyonBlue
    @TachyonBlue 4 роки тому +29

    The Guys: "Oh, this is a bag to mix your tea in!"
    Me: "BRIAN NOOOOOO"

  • @tylergray1597
    @tylergray1597 4 роки тому +11

    I have watched every one of your episodes.
    I found your channel during a bad time, and you helped me get through it. Thank you for everything.

  • @RikuHino
    @RikuHino 4 роки тому +15

    Jason "do you have a will"
    Brian "a will to live"
    Probably the most bad ass thing I've heard him say

  • @SilentSoaperton
    @SilentSoaperton 4 роки тому +59

    brian's new show where he eats ancient MREs and interviews celebs: Old Ones

    • @Squoosifersass
      @Squoosifersass 3 роки тому +3

      "Cracking open an Old One with the boys"

    • @eurydice2322
      @eurydice2322 3 роки тому

      Hot ones, cold ones, now old ones

  • @urban1337
    @urban1337 4 роки тому +138

    Brian: *eats chocolate bar older than most of his viewers*
    Brian: I don’t this is safe
    also Brian: *continues eating it*

    • @Reddotzebra
      @Reddotzebra 4 роки тому

      As long as it doesn't contain nuts, it's totally safe. If it contains nuts it's still safe-adjacent but falls into the "might wish it had killed you" category.

    • @SharienGaming
      @SharienGaming 4 роки тому +1

      the choclate is probably the least dodgy thing in that whole package - chocs tend to last pretty long even under normal conditions

  • @irgendwieanders1
    @irgendwieanders1 4 роки тому +27

    Brian is just like Steve1989MREinfo: "Im not eating this --- well just a bite"

  • @Rivet0153
    @Rivet0153 4 роки тому +15

    Brian was literally me when i would go on a field exercise, when you're gone for a week and bored you experiment with your MRE's lmfao

  • @typicalmurican2546
    @typicalmurican2546 4 роки тому +36

    "It's 1,200 calories *and* tax deductible."
    I felt that.

  • @GodsGladiator
    @GodsGladiator 4 роки тому +40

    “It’s brown cheese!!!” Brian: that just means it’s fancy... it’s French 🤣😂🤣😂

  • @lordofdarkness97
    @lordofdarkness97 4 роки тому +11

    Brian, you are 100% justified! About two and a half years ago, I was playing GTA5 in the dark and accidentally ate the packet from my jerky bag. Old Trapper Peppered Beef Jerky for life! Also, I have had peanut butter and eggs. Not as bad as you'd think.

  • @KasperMcKay
    @KasperMcKay 4 роки тому +40

    Picks up the FRH
    “Oh, a tea mixing bag!”

    • @smilysht238
      @smilysht238 4 роки тому +1

      I was laughing expecting them to drink it, then Jason had to ruin it.

  • @KazuhiraG
    @KazuhiraG 4 роки тому +21

    so far we know that Jason is fine with basically any form of External Damage to his body, but will not eat anything that can cause Internal body Damage.
    and brian is still a wild-card.

    • @spartin1173
      @spartin1173 Рік тому

      Well hes a fire eater so im not sure his taste buds really work anymore he’ll eat anything anyone suggests he eats

  • @Gauldame
    @Gauldame 4 роки тому +59

    "that pig was alive when reagan was alive...just think about that"
    No sir...I don't think I will

    • @wave1090
      @wave1090 4 роки тому +2

      That pig has been dead since Clinton's first term!

  • @Ph0en1x778
    @Ph0en1x778 4 роки тому +321

    If Steve1989MREinfo isn't mentioned in this video I am going to be upset.

    • @badd2049
      @badd2049 4 роки тому +11

      right, i love that channel.

    • @TheeCapN
      @TheeCapN 4 роки тому +8

      i think that when he said "Dead UA-camrs" he was refering to Steve, which is really upsetting. im un subbing for that

    • @aidanquiett668
      @aidanquiett668 4 роки тому +33

      @@TheeCapN No? The editing made it pretty clear they were referring to accidentally killing themselves with old food

    • @Zelmel
      @Zelmel 4 роки тому +2

      More like ashens.

    • @thedailysavant32
      @thedailysavant32 4 роки тому +6

      @@TheeCapN bruh

  • @jebshellhole4652
    @jebshellhole4652 4 роки тому +157

    No shot that Brian isn't high af, he's literally me when high lmao

    • @ViviSectia
      @ViviSectia 4 роки тому +8

      They were sponsored by some CBD company not too long ago. I'm sure they kept using the samples.

    • @Jay-st6sl
      @Jay-st6sl 4 роки тому +11

      @@ViviSectia CBD doesn't get you high like THC in regular flower

    • @ToxicMrSmith
      @ToxicMrSmith 4 роки тому +7

      Not everyone is a degenerate bud.
      Some people just enjoy their jobs.

    • @Ano0onymouse
      @Ano0onymouse 4 роки тому +26

      @@ToxicMrSmith being high doesn't make you a degenerate LMFAO

    • @ryansease1115
      @ryansease1115 4 роки тому +4

      @@ToxicMrSmith lib

  • @WargenWalrus
    @WargenWalrus 4 роки тому +19

    I don't think I've ever seen Jason this uncomfortable. I love it.

  • @serabertrand3545
    @serabertrand3545 4 роки тому +7

    "This tastes like a really good chocolate bar that someone vomited on just a little bit"
    -Brian "Lightbuld Eater" Brushwood

  • @sentinelmoonfang
    @sentinelmoonfang 4 роки тому +6

    A lot of American chocolate, notably Hershey's has some amount of butyric acid, which is a flavor that also exists in vomit. It's why a lot of people from other countries think it tastes gross. The acid works as a preservative, so I wonder if the brownie didn't have a bit of extra butyric acid to make it more shelf-stable while using a flavor already in chocolate that most people would be used to. Could be a source of the 'twistiness'

  • @ptb3335
    @ptb3335 4 роки тому +42

    All the comments about Steve1989MREinfo gives me hope in this UA-cam community.

  • @aljanssen7748
    @aljanssen7748 4 роки тому +61

    Those MRE's look basically identical to brand new ones.

    • @dustinyoung2211
      @dustinyoung2211 4 роки тому +7

      Darn close the colors are a bit off on the food though

    • @capt.raptor4650
      @capt.raptor4650 4 роки тому +6

      @@dustinyoung2211
      _probably just a different factory_

    • @squeaky9715
      @squeaky9715 4 роки тому

      @@capt.raptor4650 is there less people vomiting on the manufacturing line? I like my food a little *twisty*

  • @GolfhausYT
    @GolfhausYT 4 роки тому +1

    15:09 This is a tradition in my family. If you're hungry, but prone to barfing due to an illness, but need to get SOMETHING in you, get a McDonald's chocolate milkshake. There's nothing not gross about barfing, but when you're barfing up milkshake, it's not AS bad.

  • @kenmartinsen3541
    @kenmartinsen3541 4 роки тому +53

    "Toilet paper, going to need that later." No you won't.

    • @mikefelty2625
      @mikefelty2625 4 роки тому +5

      I said the same thing. Those things will clog you up.😁

    • @kevincameron8437
      @kevincameron8437 4 роки тому +2

      Thought the same thing.

    • @ussenterncc1701e
      @ussenterncc1701e 4 роки тому +15

      😂 I went 12 days without shitting, eating only MREs and poggy bait, when it finally caught up to me I thought I was giving birth.

    • @iancoleman6773
      @iancoleman6773 4 роки тому +1

      Not unless they chew the gum 😬

  • @MBroam
    @MBroam 4 роки тому +27

    "Sasquatch's toe jam" and "corpse foot", thank you Jason for adding those words to my lexicon. :D

    • @MarcSiqueira
      @MarcSiqueira 4 роки тому +1

      These would be awesome names for grunge and metal bands! Imagine seen "Sasquatch's toe jam concert" advertisement on a street wall, i dont care, i'm going in! hahahaha

  • @qream4426
    @qream4426 4 роки тому +22

    Brian's right about the jerky thing, those silica packets are sneaky plastic landmines just ASKING to be eaten

    • @kringla55
      @kringla55 4 роки тому

      It's true😂😂

    • @kutsen39
      @kutsen39 4 роки тому +1

      I have bitten down on them more than once.

  • @quietvanish
    @quietvanish 3 роки тому +10

    "I'm concerned about you man!" -This entire shows existence.

  • @lens3973
    @lens3973 4 роки тому +1

    I love your videos, MR!
    Honestly just rewatching you two have so much fun in these videos helps so much to remember the good days on the bad ones.
    Thank you, Brian and Jason, and to everyone behind the scenes!!

  • @Ecclesiasticus
    @Ecclesiasticus 4 роки тому +57

    Weird episode, usually Brian is the wimpy careful one and Jason goes reckless.

    • @wren7195
      @wren7195 4 роки тому +2

      "Here we are at the Whisky Wizarding School, where we're going to enjoy some 140 year old delicacies...."
      *Jason finally sees JUST the rations.....*
      "....nnnnNNNNOOOOOOOOOO-----------"

  • @kazlee6909
    @kazlee6909 4 роки тому +23

    Remember when Brian couldn’t handle pickles on his burger

  • @Zelmel
    @Zelmel 4 роки тому +46

    "Two men give themselves botulism over the course of 25 minutes"

    • @Reddotzebra
      @Reddotzebra 4 роки тому +4

      Nah, that requires some very specific growth conditions and modern MREs are designed to not provide those. I'm not saying there isn't a chance you could get botulism, I'm saying that things would have to have gone pretty wrong somewhere in the process for that to happen.
      Generally you just risk indigestion from hell and rancid nuts.

    • @gravysamich
      @gravysamich 4 роки тому

      @@Reddotzebra rancid nuts is my porn name... i'll see myself out

    • @exohead1
      @exohead1 4 роки тому

      Those old MCIs will give you botulism, though, if you aren’t careful

  • @kgapaneseschoolgirlb
    @kgapaneseschoolgirlb 3 роки тому +5

    I love how for the U.S. one, they got the whole MRE instead of just one meal from it. In the whole of the British MRE, you get sweets (usually gummy bears and lollipops), chewing gum, and energy drinks to name some nice things in there other than the meals.

  • @Davepool_TF-69
    @Davepool_TF-69 4 роки тому +13

    Narrator: This is the moment scientists pinpointed when the zombie apocalypse started

  • @realiteaohansi3341
    @realiteaohansi3341 4 роки тому +50

    I need a followup. Was Brian okay after this? Has he been a ghost the whole time??

    • @overthinking3573
      @overthinking3573 4 роки тому +18

      He's fine, his shit won't be. Since they've never had one before, he's probably not gonna poop for 3 days and then a LOG will destroy his asshole

    • @Imasuky
      @Imasuky 4 роки тому +12

      @@overthinking3573 reset the injury counter for Brain's butt

    • @TheDirtyBum900
      @TheDirtyBum900 4 роки тому +7

      I remember my first post mre poop couldve used it as a war club

  • @johnathanundiener4834
    @johnathanundiener4834 4 роки тому +21

    Almost all of that looks like a “new” MRE that you would get issued today. The heater is a fun prank with a water bottle half full and put the top back on.

    • @Ghosty_jalapeno
      @Ghosty_jalapeno 4 роки тому

      Water bottle, heater, and a little hot sauce. Mix together and screw lid on

  • @supernateyy7330
    @supernateyy7330 4 роки тому +63

    Brian is right, the pack in the jerky is EXACTLY like the jerky.

    • @jameslwjtoler
      @jameslwjtoler 4 роки тому +3

      That's true, but I still haven't ever eaten one

    • @ToozdaysChild
      @ToozdaysChild 4 роки тому +4

      You people are insane, they're NOTHING alike.

    • @jrheiselt
      @jrheiselt 4 роки тому +3

      That is why I always fish out the pack as soon as I open the jerky.

    • @hentaihero2201
      @hentaihero2201 4 роки тому +3

      It just ISN'T though!

    • @charaznable8869
      @charaznable8869 4 роки тому +1

      To hungry man there close enough. I to always fish it out but I could see how it happens.

  • @omegagarry8192
    @omegagarry8192 4 роки тому +48

    "oh this is for mixing your drinks"
    oh no
    OH NO DONT DO IT

    • @wenzelilustre9128
      @wenzelilustre9128 4 роки тому +8

      Imagine dying on your ruck because you drank the forbidden hot water

    • @GwenShep
      @GwenShep 4 роки тому +5

      They made me panic at so many points good god am I glad they didnt drink out of those. But I do wonder how they'd feel about the mre's actually hot

    • @gabrielshen3299
      @gabrielshen3299 4 роки тому

      @@GwenShep wait what happens if they used the mixey thing

    • @overestimatedforesight
      @overestimatedforesight 4 роки тому +7

      @@gabrielshen3299 The flameless ration heater reacts with water to produce a lot of heat. This heats your food, but whatever chemicals they use to do that are almost certainly poisonous (in addition to the getting really hot part)

  • @danelisslow3269
    @danelisslow3269 4 роки тому +6

    i wish my mom packed me a lunch like this. also I love that an official millitary thing says "rock or something"

  • @Azurko
    @Azurko 4 роки тому +20

    I laughed SO HARD throughout this entire episode! Brian has a gut of iron!

  • @FoltyDude
    @FoltyDude 4 роки тому +20

    Man, Jason's gonna flip when he finds Steves' MRE channel (Steve1989MREinfo)

  • @LaskyLabs
    @LaskyLabs 4 роки тому +85

    "The Modern Rogue is running out of ideas please send help." - Robot McRobotvoice

    • @jmatonis
      @jmatonis 4 роки тому +3

      What's wrong with a filler show? :)

    • @LaskyLabs
      @LaskyLabs 4 роки тому +9

      @@jmatonis there's nothing wrong actually. These two are funny as hell and I'd watch them do almost anything. I'm just clowning a bit is all.

    • @Carbon2861996
      @Carbon2861996 4 роки тому +5

      You mean Dresspants Robotman?

    • @LaskyLabs
      @LaskyLabs 4 роки тому +1

      @@Carbon2861996 I said Robot McRobotface because my dumbass couldn't remember his name.

    • @Carbon2861996
      @Carbon2861996 4 роки тому

      @@LaskyLabs That's alright. What a silly name anyway.

  • @gabrielaholloman3895
    @gabrielaholloman3895 4 роки тому +9

    Jason called Brian brave for eating all that...but we all know it’s just cause Brian thinks things like “cheese doesn’t go bad”

  • @milhousevanhoutan9235
    @milhousevanhoutan9235 3 роки тому +2

    Brian you're definitely not the only one who's eaten a silica gel pack. The poison control guy proves it- "silic" "You'll be fine. eat the whole thing if you want."

  • @tonyb92681
    @tonyb92681 4 роки тому +9

    This is literally my favorite Modern Rogue ever. The only way to make this better is more Josie!

  • @MaverickJackJohnson
    @MaverickJackJohnson 4 роки тому +20

    I can not express the level of disappointment I feel whenever I get the message "This site can’t be reached" when I go to cheesepatriots.com

  • @scoe5908
    @scoe5908 4 роки тому +19

    'Now let's get this out on to a tray, *Nice* , mkay'

  • @AK-le9ys
    @AK-le9ys 4 роки тому +3

    You can tell Brian was a magician. Years of experience introducing foreign objects in his mouth.

  • @SirMasterBen
    @SirMasterBen 4 роки тому +2

    So as an EMT, this whole video just seems like a call where I would really be trying hard not to laugh or put my hands over my face after asking "So what were you doing today that led to you call 911?'. and then I can imagine Brian looking like death trying not to puke and Jason standing over him going "He pretty much ate 2 whole 25 year old MRE's for a youtube video".

  • @For_when_im_gone
    @For_when_im_gone 4 роки тому +16

    "let's get this onto a tray, nice!"

  • @ObsoletePixel
    @ObsoletePixel 4 роки тому +7

    Weird that they let Brian co-host an episode with both Jason and his tapeworm but I like the new direction of the channel

  • @Americkslander
    @Americkslander 4 роки тому +28

    imma use "Twisty" to describe anything that's slightly iff cause its so accurate with only *one* word.

  • @maynase
    @maynase 4 роки тому +1

    11:30 We’ve now reached flashbacks within flashbacks. I wonder how many levels you can go down...

  • @maceyhensley5663
    @maceyhensley5663 4 роки тому +1

    Guys, I love you channel so much please make more of theses videos. I am such a huge fan. Brian are you still doing your magic show? If so I would love to go!

  • @cartoon19100
    @cartoon19100 4 роки тому +9

    That Hissing is probably a good sign. If it is under vacuum then when opened air will rush in causing a hiss sound.

    • @clintonleonard5187
      @clintonleonard5187 4 роки тому

      Exactly. That's why you can eat them after 25 years. If the packaging keeps oxygen out then it can't go bad.

    • @StereoTyp0
      @StereoTyp0 4 роки тому

      Nice hiss!

  • @aresturner6195
    @aresturner6195 4 роки тому +5

    Brian: at 19:07 *it’s just now dawning on him that it’s actually 25 years old*

  • @wtfpwnz0red
    @wtfpwnz0red 4 роки тому +6

    Fun fact: "American style" chocolate historically has a bit of a butyric acid flavor, which some people find reminiscent of vomit.
    Adam Ragusea has a good video on the history of milk chocolate and why that is the case with the American style.
    Coincidentally, it has to do with making the chocolate shelf-stable, which brings us full circle to the MRE episode again

    • @malcolmgruber8165
      @malcolmgruber8165 4 роки тому

      Do you mean boric acid flavor?

    • @clintonleonard5187
      @clintonleonard5187 4 роки тому

      Yeah, but Brian and Jason live in Texas. I don't think that flavor was what he was referring to.

    • @wtfpwnz0red
      @wtfpwnz0red 4 роки тому

      @@malcolmgruber8165 whoops, good catch. It's nut boric, but I did get it wrong. Fixed

  • @Magrijack
    @Magrijack 3 роки тому +4

    You know, they always say, “Brian will eat anything,” on the show, and I’ve seen him eat lard, rusty ramen, and then some... but toxic Tabasco, 25 year old cheese that was probably kept in a warm storage house the whole time, and saying, “This is great!” just brings it home for me.

    • @ludi3444
      @ludi3444 Рік тому

      And yet he won't eat mayonnaise

  • @GallerySpecter
    @GallerySpecter Рік тому +3

    If Brian and GMM's Link ever film something together, they'll either create something truly amazing or end up in the hospital. Or more likely, both.

  • @jasontomes6787
    @jasontomes6787 4 роки тому +12

    Cheese tortellini were my go to MRE. Next time you need to get the full soldier experience and make the makeshift explosive with the heater and a water bottle.
    Edit: looks like the crackers are the same as “fresh” MREs

    • @jrheiselt
      @jrheiselt 4 роки тому +1

      Just don't be a jerk and put the tobacco in it.

  • @RushGamma
    @RushGamma 4 роки тому +13

    Obligatory: "Nice hiss"

  • @Cactusman129
    @Cactusman129 4 роки тому +6

    Brian: Not sure this one's safe
    Brian: *continues eating it*

  • @Macbeth813
    @Macbeth813 4 роки тому +1

    OMG !!!!!! i KNEW you two were "TWISTY" to begin with BUT THIS takes it to a whole NEW level ! Kudos, Brian and Jason....i can't STOP LAUGHING from this one !! VERY NICELY DONE ! lMAO

  • @runikvarze6191
    @runikvarze6191 Рік тому +1

    Totally underrated quote: "this applesauce has a stain on it!" In complete indignation.