I think nonacceptance of self is what breeds people to choose not to be vulnerable. For whatever reason they dislike themselves. In order to be vulnerable you have to like who you are as a person no matter your flaws and choose to be authentic and show all sides of yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once you do this I feel you will have no problem opening up to anyone. Seeing all those sides is what makes us human and then be able to connect with each other. It's so good and normal to show those sides of yourself because it can make you relatable and people who can't relate to what you are feeling are most likely lying to themselves and may judge you for it cause they deny their own feelings. But you have to know something is likely wrong with that person who is judging you because of what you feel because we have all been afraid, nervous, upset , doubtful, not all together, etc about something in life, so it's ok to show that. You also have to be vulnerable with yourself first before you can do so with others. You have to feel all your emotions without judgement so you can connect with your humanness.
. My husband entered a rehab a month ago for sub abuse. 2 years ago he cheated on me and couldn't deal with the shame as a result. I had always said there was no true intimacy between us. Through the therapy he is receiving, his attachment has been found to be insecure/disorganized and he now realizes that I was correct all along. He's apologized for the last 10 years of our married life saying that he hasn't been there fully You just mentioned practicing gratitude for his seeking help. This video coudn't have come at a better time. Thank you
Your vids have a way of appearing right when I need them. This made me realize that I’m sabotaging/numbing a possible joyful experience I could be having. I’m coming up with every excuse on the planet to avoid this joy..I need to just stop lol.
Hi Dr Snowden, you’re fantastic and I’m so glad you continue to do these great videos! My question is, it seems like there are a lot of resources for codependent love addict type people, but not as much for the avoidant type people. Do you recommend any books or resources for the avoidant type person? I’m (honestly) asking for a frustrated avoidant friend of mine who knows she is avoidant but does not know where to begin her healing, as most resources seem more geared toward anxious attachment. Thank you so much 😇
Hi. Maybe have her glance through the book Making Advances. It’s a book specially written for females who have sex and love addiction symptoms. However, I believe a lot of the info is helpful to women who identify as avoidant.
Kristin Snowden thank you, I will let her know! Thank you so very much for all that you do, I think you’re the gold standard in understanding intimate relationships! 😊
Thank you! Another book she may “enjoy” is Love Addict by Ethlie Ann Vare. But let me know if she feels like those books don’t resonate with her situation and “symptoms” and I’ll think of some other resources.
It's not that I struggle with being vulnerable. I get bored with being that way and I feel fake. Can you explain why this may be and is this normal? I feel so fake when I try to be vulnerable cause it's really an act lol. I will say I don't honestly care to relate to most people most times unless you are interesting. I feel like most people are sheep and they tend to believe and follow others vs being unique and interesting as individuals thus my lack of interest in others . This isn't the only reason but I feel an important one.I am an introvert and I tend to be picky with those I associate with as well.
this provided me with answer if anyone else needs it :www.jordanharbinger.com/stop-trying-to-be-vulnerable-do-this-instead/ Basically true vulnerability can't be forced it has to be genuine to have meaning.
The content was great. The constant checking on your notes was a little distracting for me. Perhaps next time be a little more polished in order to sustain your credibility and originality. Great content as usual. Thank you for your great work.
I think nonacceptance of self is what breeds people to choose not to be vulnerable. For whatever reason they dislike themselves. In order to be vulnerable you have to like who you are as a person no matter your flaws and choose to be authentic and show all sides of yourself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once you do this I feel you will have no problem opening up to anyone. Seeing all those sides is what makes us human and then be able to connect with each other. It's so good and normal to show those sides of yourself because it can make you relatable and people who can't relate to what you are feeling are most likely lying to themselves and may judge you for it cause they deny their own feelings. But you have to know something is likely wrong with that person who is judging you because of what you feel because we have all been afraid, nervous, upset , doubtful, not all together, etc about something in life, so it's ok to show that. You also have to be vulnerable with yourself first before you can do so with others. You have to feel all your emotions without judgement so you can connect with your humanness.
. My husband entered a rehab a month ago for sub abuse. 2 years ago he cheated on me and couldn't deal with the shame as a result. I had always said there was no true intimacy between us. Through the therapy he is receiving, his attachment has been found to be insecure/disorganized and he now realizes that I was correct all along. He's apologized for the last 10 years of our married life saying that he hasn't been there fully You just mentioned practicing gratitude for his seeking help. This video coudn't have come at a better time. Thank you
Thank you for sharing this 🤍
Awesome feedback!
Thank so much for those words, right on target!!!!
Your vids have a way of appearing right when I need them. This made me realize that I’m sabotaging/numbing a possible joyful experience I could be having. I’m coming up with every excuse on the planet to avoid this joy..I need to just stop lol.
Do You Struggle with Laziness & Idleness?
Hi Dr Snowden, you’re fantastic and I’m so glad you continue to do these great videos! My question is, it seems like there are a lot of resources for codependent love addict type people, but not as much for the avoidant type people.
Do you recommend any books or resources for the avoidant type person? I’m (honestly) asking for a frustrated avoidant friend of mine who knows she is avoidant but does not know where to begin her healing, as most resources seem more geared toward anxious attachment.
Thank you so much 😇
Hi. Maybe have her glance through the book Making Advances. It’s a book specially written for females who have sex and love addiction symptoms. However, I believe a lot of the info is helpful to women who identify as avoidant.
Kristin Snowden thank you, I will let her know! Thank you so very much for all that you do, I think you’re the gold standard in understanding intimate relationships! 😊
Thank you! Another book she may “enjoy” is Love Addict by Ethlie Ann Vare. But let me know if she feels like those books don’t resonate with her situation and “symptoms” and I’ll think of some other resources.
It's not that I struggle with being vulnerable. I get bored with being that way and I feel fake. Can you explain why this may be and is this normal? I feel so fake when I try to be vulnerable cause it's really an act lol. I will say I don't honestly care to relate to most people most times unless you are interesting. I feel like most people are sheep and they tend to believe and follow others vs being unique and interesting as individuals thus my lack of interest in others . This isn't the only reason but I feel an important one.I am an introvert and I tend to be picky with those I associate with as well.
this provided me with answer if anyone else needs it :www.jordanharbinger.com/stop-trying-to-be-vulnerable-do-this-instead/ Basically true vulnerability can't be forced it has to be genuine to have meaning.
And not all situations and environments and people inspire you to be vulnerable.
The content was great. The constant checking on your notes was a little distracting for me. Perhaps next time be a little more polished in order to sustain your credibility and originality. Great content as usual. Thank you for your great work.