The Game That Won’t Let You See All Of It
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- Опубліковано 17 чер 2021
- I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country.
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“Why Time Flies” by Maximilian Kiener: www.maximiliankiener.com/digi...
Visual Media Used: Before Your Eyes, Metal Gear Solid 4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, God of War 2, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Boyhood, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight, Up documentary series
Music used (chronologically): Main Menu (Before Your Eyes), Old Snake (Metal Gear Solid 4), Eight Years in the Making (Marvel’s Spider-Man), The Gates of Hell (Bayonetta), Painting Mom (Before Your Eyes), Prologue (Firewatch), Precinct 41 Major Crimes Unit (Disco Elysium), What Would I Do (The Monotones), In Your Hands (Gris), Deference for Darkness (Halo 3: ODST), 14.3 Billion Years (Outer Wilds), Finale (Before Your Eyes), Mesh (Ollie Lewin, Before Your Eyes)
Additional Music from Epidemic Sound
Description Credit: “Dogfish,” Mary Oliver
Thumbnail Credit: / hotcyder - Ігри
Putting this video together was obviously a little unorthodox- to ask questions and hear a full discussion of its writing and editing, join my patreon at: www.patreon.com/JacobGeller
At the risk of assuming something untrue, I really want to recommend you Jonas Mekas' 'As I was moving ahead, occasionally I saw brief glimpses of beauty' in case you haven't seen it already. It's a five hour documentary focused on life, memories in relation to the passage of time and happiness (which I noticed has been some of the themes of your previous videos - this one included - and the one about the simpson's intro. Your simpsons essay was truly quite a thing and I hope you keep making your thoughts and feelings public. I realize that this might just be a shout in the void or that you might not have five hours to spare but I hope you take that chance.
❤️
Thank you for talking about this game
Spectacular video essay as always Jacob! This video struck me a little harder than your others; I'm just about at the end of my 5 years studying in Edinburgh, in what seems to be an anticlimactic end to my degree due to this whole pandemic. Though incredibly brief, your snapshots of a crowded yet recognisable Teviot, Potterrow, and Arthur's Seat are identical to many memories I've had of goofing off as a student in those same places. Life has been so different over the last year with restrictions on in person teaching and gatherings, and I've spent much of the last month leafing through photos of the people, places, milestones and mundane moments I've experienced while I've been here, in awe at how fast the time has past, and how much we've all grown, despite edinburgh largely being the same vibrant city it's always been. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy living in the moment while I can, and thanks for the unexpected cameo of my adopted hometown of the last 5 years.
Jacob Geller
One of the best video essayists to ever talk about games
I have Tourette's Syndrome and my primary tic is rapid blinking. Looking forward to my new position as world record holder for this game's speedrun.
/hey, if you're not some dude on the internet making up stuff, im genuinely interesting how life is like for you? how is it that you constantly blink? how does the people around you react to you? is it fun? (sometimes?) or is it a nuisance?
@@jenniferchaulam You know how it feels when you resist blinking and your eyes start to feel irritated? It's like that but the feeling comes much faster. Maybe I'm just used to it but I don't notice it much at all. When I'm stressed I tend to shut my eyes forcefully and that can be kind of annoying. I'm not sure if many people notice it or not because most people don't bring it up but when they do I just tell them I have Tourrette's and they understand.
@@burritosupreme /Cool! Thanks for sharing, fren
As someone with Tourette’s as well, my biggest worry going into this game was that I’d blink too fast and it’d all fly by lol
@@burritosupreme I have tourrette's as well, albeit not as bad and I've kinda grown out of it, and my tic was also blinking. I would also click with my tongue constantly. But the blinking thing was never really an issue. Like you said, you kinda just didn't notice after a while. Although it was much more obvious when watching a movie or something.
This vid is amazing. All of us on the dev team are watching it on repeat.
All due to y'all's incredible work
Bless you for your team's work... This game is amazing
thank you for making such a unique game, y'all deserve all the love it gets!
This game really made me think hard about my life. It’s a beautiful work of art y’all should definitely be very proud of your work.
Thank you all for making such a moving game
An interesting thought: if each year is a smaller percentage of your past life, you can flip the script and see each remaining day of your life as making up a larger and larger percentage of the time you have left. Becoming more and more precious.
Part of why we don't remember as much from our lives as we get older is we get stuck in routines.
Most of us don't think that way because we think of ourselves as immortal, the concept of death is an abstract one, it usually only takes a terminal illness or some near death experience to force you to realise this.
I agree. The thought of life getting faster as I get older is very scary to me, so I try to remember that I still have some control over my perception of time, if not objective time. If you make sure to notice life around you, take an active role in it, instead of just letting it happen to you, Id hope that year 60 would feel just as long as year 20. But I don’t know, I’m still 20 now, so maybe it’s just wishful thinking
Routine is exactly why you lose hour or days or months of time. It's not because you failed to form memories of that time, but they're so like your other memories it's hard to separate them. I regularly commute and get out of the car having felt like the past hour took almost no time at all. Work is repetitive.
So one strategy to fill your memory and make it seem longer and more vibrant is to experience new things.
For example, I played Divinity: Original Sin for probably 40 hours with my girlfriend. And I can remember many parts of the game. But it don't remember the act of playing the game, where exactly I was or what I was snacking on or what time of day. Except one time when we went to a local tavern in the middle of the day when it was quiet, and we sat in an upper sitting area with some drinks and sandwiches. We set up a virtual LAN on their wifi and played D:OS for several hours. And I couldn't tell you what part of the game we were playing, because that novel physical experience sticks in my memory far stronger than the experience of the fantasy on my laptop screen.
I've heard the whole "each year is a smaller percentage" thing many times over my life, but your reversal of that is wonderful. Thank you.
the last couple of years have sort of flown by, "blink and you'll miss it." everything exciting was canceled, and the memory of it is just a blur.
with the world (or at least my country) opening up entirely starting today - no masks, no restrictions - i'm looking forward to remembering each year again :)
Bruh...
"new jacob geller video got me weeping on my lunch break, lads"
genuinely a moving response to what seems like a very moving piece of art. i worked in my university's archives in undergrad, and the amount of ephemera packed into a little box or a garbage bag that i would sit and sort through for days..... utterly humbling. people's photos, of family and friends, often unlabeled. one artist whose personal documents i sorted had several drawings of his cat Gwendolyn, and christmas cards written "by her", and a little sketch of a tombstone with her name on it. i cried over the long-dead cat of a long-dead man i never met and yet knew so much about.
working to preserve the details of a person's life makes it all the more apparent how much will just..... slip away. thanks for the window into the beauty and importance of that.
That's beautiful
Tell me a story.
"You know how everyone's always saying 'seize the moment'? I don't know, I'm kinda thinking it's the other way around. Like, the moment seizes us."
-yoda
People who "seize the moment" never know if they're seizing the right one. If you let the moment seize you, there's seldom any doubt.
Interestingly,, this is exactly what I was thinking as I was watching this.
@@Trollificusv2 Fully Agreed
@@Trollificusv2 I suppose they just mean to say, "Don't waste time." Seize the day generally means not to reminisce, but to take the reins in for yourself, and to make the most of what remains of it. Don't spend it all sitting there, staring at colored pieces of lit glass in a silent, dark room... not unless you know for a fact that you're doing something that will make it easier to seize tomorrow.
One might say existence precedes essence.
Knew this was coming eventually. It’s a “Jacob Geller-y” game
Half the games on my wishlist are there because this guy mentioned them.
Jakey Gelley.
I'm still waiting for The Witness, though.
@@Caspianm2 Jaker Gellob.
Jacob Gallery
With ADHD it also becomes even more easy to get lost in time. Staying “in the moment” is virtually impossible, or fleeting with ADHD. Even a few seconds of remaining “in the moment” have literally brought me to tears… they’re just moments of utter serenity. For me, life blazes by perhaps much faster than most people, and memories are even more tainted by randomness and interference. I love the idea of the few seconds a day of video, because it gives a snapshot of the past unfettered by time.
ADHD solidarity
That or we get into a transe-like state of extreme temporary focus, which gets tiring and is impossible to control.
And yeah, bad perception of time is a pain everyone goes through time compression and dilation, it's just that for us it's way stronger, a second can feel like 30, 2 hours can feel like a minute, routines are necessary but hard to stick to.
Even then, we manage
this!! i think that’s why this game gave me a special type of existential crisis lmao
I fell asleep in the grass under the shade of our tree in the backyard a few weeks ago, something I haven't done since I was a child. When I came to I almost immediately started crying; it felt so freeing to be vulnerable and capturing some time for myself when it often feels impossible to.
@@Critter_Farm thats awesome good for u
I really love that moment when you finish the star map and it spells, "Stay Here". I love that because it reminds me of my own memory trips. For example, whenever I think about my wedding, it's so interesting to me. We got married in a beautiful aquarium, surrounded by beauty, and without a huge number of guests. Yet I cannot remember what the fish looked like, or what the water around us looked like, or what the tank looked like. I can only remember looking at my Sheryle, hearing her say our vows. I can only remember looking at her and thinking, "This is it, can I just stay here?" I remember wishing that I could make those seconds tick by just a little slower. And then I remember it being over, we were married. Whenever I look back on that, I always try to pause my memory in that moment before the musicians began to play again, that moment right when she had said, "I do" right when, for the first time, she was mine, all mine, and so beautiful, and I try in vain to make those seconds stop so that I can just stare at her.
Im getting married in about a year's time and your comment brought me to tears man. Idk why but thank you.
This description makes me hope for the days when I get to make memories like this, memories untainted by false emotion or veils of cowardice. Thank you for the pick-me-up.
My dad cheated on my mom and they almost divorced. Its been a decade and they havent divorced cuz they had my sister while trying to fix the marriage. Til now they still give each others the cold shoulder because they hate each others guts. I am never getting married lmao.
This is such a gorgeous, moving anecdote.
So we're just going to ignore the metal fact of being married in an Aquarium? Mad respect, bro
Played this last night, never before have a felt my body so physically connected to a game before. Then it hits you with that ending and leaves you completely floored. I dont think there's anything else that can even compare.
It's about something very different but I highly recommend "The Beginners guide" it's also about an hour and a half long and it's one of those games that has just stuck with me
Amazing.
I didn’t legitimately get to experience in it vr but I did see a play through like twice. I just kind of found the story “neat” and its not like I cried. Maybe I’m heartless and maybe its a different experience in actual vr but I didn’t find it too sad since I didn’t really get to connect to the character I guess. But if you look at it through my view I mean even Breaking Bad has a sadder story than that.
@@davefromhomedepot7416 I think youre separating the story from yourself too much to empathize. The reason this story effects us isnt because Benjamin's story is so sad (its sad but not the saddest).
Its because we think: am I being fully present in my life? Am i blinking past too much irl. Oh god, what if I blink and Im on my death bed. Please, let me be here, just one more blink.
Thats my feeling anyway
@@ordinarytree4678 I guess I don't really care about my life enough anymore to want many memories. There are only so many little things to appreciate for me at this point. Maybe I should watch another playthrough with your comment in mind.
"It is tempting to linger in this moment, where every possibility still exists. But unless they are collapsed by an observer, they will never be more than possibilities. "
-Outer Wilds
Glad you liked Boyhood so much too. I always thought that movie was underrated, both from a story perspective and in its uniqueness of construction.
I was thinking of outer wilds too during this video, then I heard Andrew Prahlow during his 1-second video collage.
that quote is perfect, i wish I could experience Outer Wilds for the first time again
I was waiting for the Oute Wilds ost the whole video, knew it was coming.
Sounds quantum lol
@@shrub4248 If you think about it, is that not what Outer Wilds is about? Not being able to keep that first time forever, because you can't un-link the chain between your interpretations. You have to accept that they are the experience you had, even if it all felt cut short before you could possibly have enough time to do everything you wanted in that little world, and move forward into the next experience.
Jacob, I was feeling quite proud of myself, having finally made it through a video of yours without crying and then you hit me with "and then show me, so I can tell you you did a good job. Because you did!" in the ad and now I'm crying and there's something about the way you worded that - it will be a good job because I made it - is just hitting me really hard right now
It's a different feeling when strangers believe in you. I believe in you.
I remember sobbing so heavily at the end of the game that I couldn't help but swap scenes nearly every few seconds as I had to keep blinking away tears and rubbing my eyes. It was so hard to keep them open. I will absolutely be one of those few who holds this game close.
I tried not to blink while I watched this but failed.
BTW your second-per-day video looks rad
Never in a thousand years id thought to find you on one of jacobs video game essays!! I grew up watching your tekken in real life videos.
Keep up the good work brother, and keep rockin that beard.
I tried as well and just so happened to blink exactly when he did. I think they must have timed how long the average person can stand holding their eyes open or something, it was uncanny.
To a very minor extent it made me anxious and I observed my rate of blinking increased accordingly.
"It does not contain any spoilers."
Jacob how the fuck--
How you talk a game with out talking the game? But hell, he did it
@@feinky8489 what
Thanks for this video! I have depression but I am recovering and this is something I think about a lot. Depression distorts your memory and when I started to recover my personality changed, my perception changed, but my memories changed as well. My memories and perception changed because I couldn't feel certain emotions while depressed and feeling those emotions again unlocked memories I had never thought about or rarely thought about. It's all so weird and leaves me wondering who I "really" am. It all shows how much we create our own worlds. I am so glad to see this video because it feels like finding someone who "gets it".
We are many who have / are / going to go through this, so remember you are who you are and you're never alone
Fuck, I've never seen a more relatable comment. I feel like a different person every time, as though my perspective has changed completely until I go through the same emotions I felt earlier and then I just get it, at least for a little bit
Idk if I have ever cried so hard. My dad died while I was in high school by his own hand, and I didn’t even cry at the funeral despite him being my hero up till that point.
But this… this shit opened so repressed fucking feelings. I can’t stop crying even as I type this. I haven’t balled this hard and years if ever and man, have I got some rethinking to do. Seeing that “Stay Here” sign in the stars ripped open a scar I didn’t even know I had. I have spent so much time trying to appreciate the moment yet I’ve never been able to. This video just cements that ever growing sentiment of mine into stone - cherish everything and everyone while it’s here :(
Thrilled to see that one second of your compilation was devoted to the Moon Presence in Bloodborne, and no, I didn't even have to slow it down to catch it.
A VERY IMPORTANT SECOND
Yep, I smiled when I saw it and just said 'Hi, there!'
Blink for a second and you're in a wheelchair or a baby squid. Or you are already playing elden ring.
Bloodborne is everything and a hand basket… or a basket of hands? Dunno, I’ll ask Amygdala.
I hated the way that I looked when I was a teenager. From about 12 to 19 I refused to take pictures of myself or the life I lived, and I definitely refused to let other people take pictures of me. It was only when I went on a trip with friends around my 20th birthday that I decided to finally take pictures, because there were certain memories that I didn't want to let slip away. Since that moment, I've been saving more and more memories in that way. I don't know if it's better or worse than just remembering, but the act of picking out moments that I want to save forever has made me way more sentimental. I'm still 21, I'm not looking back at some long and tumultuous life, but this video got me emotional. Thanks.
just wait till your 50... and the memories start to get hazy... life is... short.. Dont ever forget that
Im turning 27 in a few months but prio to that, I was the same, I never liked taking pictures and now Im full of regrets not doing so.
I'm 24 and have almost no photographs of myself. In fact, I've barely ever had any experiences - an unusually isolated life for complicated reasons. This video reminded me of my old great terror, which I was disturbed by quite a lot when I was younger - the fact that moments end and do not come back, that nothing lasts, and thus it seems as if it's pointless to exist at all. I try not to think about it and just live in the present. But the past grows.
@@thegreatdream8427 woah... thats some heavy shit.. not thats its actual shit., its just deep. Some existential pondering at such a young age, i wouldnt be surprised if you ended up being one of those "great thinkers" of the century, before your "moment" ends.. Try to keep in mind that time is in the eye of the beholder, and you can actually morph it a bit to make moments longer, or even shorter, on some quantum observer level type shit.
Also, I think you are probably not alone at your age and not having "photographs' of yourself, I think my generation was the last to have actual "photo albums" with actual photos in em. LOL
Nowadays all your generation's memories are floating around on some digital cloud, and if some hacker or natural disaster wipes out that cloud, then there's going to be alot of sad people...
Well all i know is, as i get older, "moments" seem to pass faster and faster, something similar to being on a raft floating down a river with the roar of a great waterfall getting louder and louder, only in this case, that waterfall is the dark abyss, and once go over the event horizon, no more moments, forever.. So dont neglect your past, because it makes you who you are now, and at the end of river rafting adventure, the goal is to have no regrets.
@@raidermaxx2324 I didn't just mean I don't have physical photos of myself. There are very few pictures of me, at all. And thinking about the same existential stuff every other young person thinks about when they don't have something useful to do doesn't make me some kind of genius, but I'm flattered you think that.
Jesus, I just cried so hard, I wasn't expecting that. I wish I could stop time... I wish I HAD stopped time, so many times, so long ago. People say not to blink, or you might miss your life passing by. But we poor, silly humans, we always already have blinked and missed it.
you good bro?
Still reeling from my playthrough of this. Excellent work, fellow Jacob 👍
I’m still reeling from your playthrough, too. Im almost afraid to play Before Your Eyes, but I know I’m going to give in eventually
Its already an existential crisis for me
fuck
time moves fast ; _ ;
hi weest
This might be one of your best videos to date, Jacob. It's obviously one of the most personal ones, but the transitions feeling abrupt yet flowing seamlessly from one topic to another - yet feeling like one single whole and culminating to a very singular theme is soooo fucking well done. I don't care how many views this gets, I just wanted someone to let you know that people do notice when you put in the thought and the effort. Keep doing what you do.
You summed it up pretty well man. Loved this video.
Oh, come with old Khayyám, and leave the Wise
To talk; one thing is certain, that Life flies;
One thing is certain, and the Rest is Lies;
The Flower that once has blown for ever dies.
Is that from the rhubaiyat of Omar Khayyam?
@@amberdixon4200 Absolutely.
When I dig my way out of this financial hole, you’ll get some of my money. You’ve helped me dig my way out of my personal hole so very, VERY much. There is no one like you on the internet. And we appreciate it, massively. You make all of us better, I think.
amen brother
Thank you for making this. I just turned 18, and I've been panicking over how quickly these years have gone by. It feels like my life is passing me by, like all the moments I've forgotten never happened, and I'm rapidly running out of time.
Your video helped me realize that I can't control the passage of time, but I can control what I remember, and as long as I remember my past, it won't be erased. Time goes by quickly, but it doesn't have to go away.
“The idyllic vacation to the mountains, the one I feel I can remember every moment of, takes only three seconds to play out. Thats half as much space as any given work week.” That was an incredibly profound sleeper quote.
When I was six, my family went to Calgary for my dad's cousin's wedding. There is a photograph from that, a picture from us on some other part of that trip, when we rode a gondola up a snowy mountainside. In the picture, I am wearing a red coat. I do not *remember* wearing that coat, I do not remember the coat at all, but it is in the picture, so it must be true. I remember the *picture* of the red coat. The only thing I really remember from the trip is that I had broken my arm shortly beforehand, but in the picture, I am wearing a red coat. You cannot see the cast. You would never know, from the picture, that my arm is broken, yet that is all I remember.
I'm gonna go sit in a corner and rock gently back and forth while I stare at the wall, now.
"this has been a glimpse of Britain's future"
kid swingin head dangerously
*dramatic sting*
So irresponsible to argue that Brexiteers were dropped on their heads as children, but I won't stand in your way.
i am currently fairly young, and I can't even imagine what it will feel like when i'm older, even by just a year since i'm still in school so things WILL change drastically. Its fascinating to just realize you don't know where your going... and it can also be quite scary. Just having no possible inkling of what's going to happen, because life is unpredictable, and the choices i make now can both change what happens, or do nothing to my future. What's funny is i will honestly forget i wrote this comment in less then a year. All i know is that i should do what will make me happy so that even if i forget what i do, i'll know that i was hopefully happy.
Have a good day if your reading this comment :)
You wrote this comment.
@@beleata74 indeed I did, thank you for reminding me :)
things definitely have changed, not a whole lot since I still have *some* school to finish up.
I hope you have a good day
@@axolotl2736 Not just yet, May/June are my last months for school. Uncertainty isn't really something you can fix, the best I could say is just push forward, but even I at times don't even follow that.
Another thing to keep in mind is that people aren't always thinking about what you've done. That one awkward conversation? They may remember it if you bring it up, but it isn't something they think about, at least not in a way of "Look how stupid they were." If they do that, then I'm not sure if you want to be around someone like that. (I'm not even sure if this is a problem for you, went on a tangent myself)
You don't need to apologize for the tangent, I do it a lot myself. At the moment of typing this, I'd say I'm doing alright. I hope you're doing well to :)
Wow, its been 2 years, you've grown a lot since this comment.
@@agastyaparashar2941, Honestly, to some extent yes, but some what no. I've finished school, but I'm mentally stuck in that mindset. The mindset of being given work, finishing it, then just playing games or something before I eventually go to bed. It's just now I'm not being given any work.
Being told to figure out the things I like doesn't really give me much direction. I likely have an executive disfunction problem making things too hard for me. I'm mentally still a kid in some adults body. Which I understand adults are just children but older (in a sense), but even the people my age know somewhat who they are or where they want to go. All I know are the things I dont like about my current situation. Which is helpful in giving some direction, but getting a job and *eventually* moving somewhere else isn't really motivating.
Sorry to dump on you there, I'm just kinda stuck in this all. I hope you're doing well, have a nice day. :)
Jacob: *scores his 1-second a day clips montage with 14.3 Billion Years*
Me: "And I took that personally."
Yep
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!
Ah, Raz! I knew I'd find you here, where great minds meet. Welcome! :)
Andrew Prahlow gliding into a Jacob Geller vid gives me the shivers every time.
Please... No more of that meme.
For people with rough childhoods this entropy as a way of healing us, with every hiccup, every flashback being hazy and more abstract. After a while all that is left is the feeling.
I suppose that is true for beautiful memories too.
Thanks for this video
Our mind forces us to move on
i'm glad of it. if i had memories of everything that happened to me, i'd go crazy
you just summed up everything i've trying to explain in therapy for the past five years. my life has been chaotic to say the least, and knowing that the pain and the beauty both fade no matter how much i try to remember it is both comforting and frightening
Yep
As much as I have memories I'd like to have kept, it's not worth going back through the hurt. Worth it.
I don't know how connected it is to my ADHD, but just the thought and experience of time passing has always been a source of anxiety and deep depression for me. When I get lost in memory, instead of feeling good about happy memories I get mired in sad longing because they were so long ago. It's a problem. Even discussing the concept of it like this video does can get that big ball of sad rolling.
Amen to that. I remember whenever I think back in my past the stuff that happened so long ago in my childhood, I'll always think back to where I am now and just think: "..How did I even GET here from that to this?"
I'm sitting at a desk eating beans on the verge of tears watching the end of this video and then, "This video was sponsored by Skillshare." *blink*
I'm not a crying person, I didn't feel extraordinarily sad or happy while watching the video, the tears just came out.. I gotta pick this game up
I think there's something terrifying about memories. I'm still easing myself into my twenties, and I can only remember about half of it, the rest of it burned away to vague patches of childhood. It's difficult to escape the fact that the amount I forget will only grow in time, as I live longer and experience more. You can almost feel parts of yourself being lost, dead weight shed by our imperfect brains.
Funnily enough, it's the Outer Wilds that helps with my anxiety over this. One day the sun will detonate, one day I myself will collapse into oblivion, and all my memories will be lost, no matter who I am or what I do. But that's not the important part. The important part is, well, where those memories came from. Sitting at the campfire with your friends, regardless of if the universe ends in 22 minutes. To have moments in time that are worth remembering, and trying your hardest to be in that moment before it passes.
Fully agree
Well said, king. 👑
Jacob I just want to let you know that in an age of such mass produced mediocrity and surface level "content" you will always hold a special place in my heart as just someone who genuinely wants to tell someone how they feel about something. I don't think there is a way I can succinctly describe how you videos make me feel but there is this feeling there and I l'll be forever grateful for you and your work.
I am impressed by the way you manage to find pieces of media nobody heard of. Games nobody played, movies nobody watched and books that nobody read. How are you aware of all these things? How do you link them together? I am really curious about your thought and work process. It's not like there's one library giving access to all these things with one keyword, I wish I could do the same for my projects.
That was beautiful, Jacob.
I thought you had commented 2 minutes after the video came out then remembered patreon/members exist.
I agree, by the way.
22 hours ago?
@@suhasop4919 patrons get vid access a day early
@@justinscherzer6047 ok
Always.
Everybody gangsta till people try to speed run this game.
“rapid blinking”
Alternatively, I'd like to see a 100% run
@@bigbone_99 maybe with an animatronic puppet where you control the eyelids or something like that :)
@@_etwas_ That would be a TAS
@@bigbone_99 There's this documentary called A Clockwork Orange.
I found your videos today after being recommended the artificial loneliness been watching other videos since, and you’ve become after only 3 videos my new favourite creator. The amount of passion and time that goes into these videos is clear to see, and im so glad to find someone that feels the same emotion in videogames and other media that i do, and many around me dont. Keep making these wonderful videos.
It feels scary thinking about the past, but the past is just an imperfect memory.
Life happens in our present experiences that we cherish the most, it's not in the moments that we miss, it's in the ones that we capture.
Great video as always Jacob!
This video has made my heart sink in ways I don't think I've experienced before, just feeling each beat. And I don't know what to think, the whole concept of time is something that is painful to me, I feel like the best I have is my memories, I'm married now, graduating soon, losing hair, losing friends, life seems to just be a collection of memories these days and it's scary, it's really all a blink and it's over, the first time I ever got high and how the lights looked, my first kiss with the girl I thought was my forever, my first house party drinking and dancing with strangers, when I first held a guitar and didn't know anything about music,my first driving lesson and how my instructor would make me run random errands for him as "practice" , my first day in a week long struggle in an underground prison, my first therapy session, the first time my heart was broken... It's all so far and seems like nothing now, nothing but fading memories, growing up is difficult, and finding beautiful things in the future seems so much harder than finding beautiful things in the past, it makes me want to panic, cry, give up, or just do nothing. Time is a difficult thing. The acceptance that it's all going to end,knowing its all just temporary, it makes me feel that the words I write seem to fade as I type them...I hope to get to a place where its not so bad I hope to be able to take the right steps. And make the right choices. I hope to be happy someday.
Your comment is beautiful. I hope you find happiness too. 💚
@@nightcrawlerz788 I appreciate that my man ❤️ may you and everyone here find the happiness they deserve. We all deserve a chance at happiness, peace and love
It has to end eventually. The happiness and beauty is just something to look at on the way. It's up to you to take the time (hah) to notice it staring you in the face.
You need to find meaning in your life, life is more than just a series of firsts, as your childhood would lead you to believe. The memories you hold are dear, and they always will be, but growing up is learning to be responsible for yourself and the decisions you make and have made. The firsts turn into seconds and thirds and fourths and so on, but they are still just as meaningful each time. Find your niche in life and keep it close to your heart, but do a good job and be responsible in all other things you do as well.
That‘s a beautiful comment man. Literally made me tear up.
I've spent the last few years trying to decide if I want to remember my past, what my childhood was like, what I was like. Much of my life has been marked by trauma, and I still hold a deep mistrust of my own memories. At times, they seem dangerous. I know they can hurt me. But this video essay makes me think about the nature of nostalgia and memory, how it draws us back to what we ache to remember but impossible to tell what was real and what we've constructed later. I think there's a sort of peace that comes with looking at the past and memory as an integral part of the realities of ourselves - the construction of it and how we hold onto it can be more vital and important than trying to remember things 'as they were'.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I want to say that, like the rest of your video essays, this was beautiful and incredibly thoughtful.
I can say the addition of Outer wilds music at the end rlly ties this video up. Both games even though they may be vastly different, both explore new ideas. Outer wilds is a Groundhog Day scenario, where time repeats itself over and over. Before your eyes explores how time and memories coexist. Both influence another, that’s what’s beautiful about these two. Towards the end we realize it’s not the finish line that counts, it’s the experiences that brought us there. Thank you.✨
I’ve been talking about controls playing a heavy detail into character/player connection for years. How control mapping can bring a player closer to the character. Being able to hold someone up in MGS 2 and interrogating in MGS 3 from the correct button combinations alone is an accomplishment
I was avoiding blinking throughout the video to get ready for the game
I made it to almost seven and a half minutes in before I had to shut my eyes because they stung so badly. Idk if that’s enough fortitude to have for the game but we’ll see.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever connected with a game more than this one. It’s such a beautiful and emotional game, and it’s actually the first game to ever make me cry, and I say that in the best way possible
I absolutely loved your use of Outer Wilds’ 14.3 Billion Years at 14:50
It and Outer Wilds as a whole mean so much to me.
I'm sure my comment will get buried, especially considering how many there is but I just. Man I want to say thank you for your videos. Your style, your approach, is unlike anything I've ever seen and it leaves me so enthralled and moved every time. How you talk about these themes, feelings, concepts, ideas, linked together through these different pieces of media, but it's never...just about that singular media yknow? Each is unique and adds such amazing depth and thought to your points, i feel just, so much more connected with the world and art after watching your videos. I can't quite articulate this in the way I wish I could but just...your videos make me think, so much, more than almost anything else does. About the world around us, about concepts I hadn't touched in years, or had barely known about beforehand. It feels like...such a treat, for my brain, thank you.
When someone says "videogames arent art" Jacobs videos are what you show them to convince them otherwise, they feel so well constructed and hit such an emotional cord
@Smunstu Stinkymonster dude why be so cynical
@@h_shah5429 can’t they have an opinion ?
@@kevinuribe318 sure but i still think it's overly cynical thats my opinion tho
@Smunstu Stinkymonster Why is it bullshit because it's emotional? Clearly it resonates with ppl. So who are you say it's nothing.?
@Smunstu Stinkymonster I was baffled with your aloofness towards a different kind of media analysis. If you don't like it, that's your business. There're mountains of "rational" video essays analysing a game on all formal aspects, but apparently an intensely personal, subjective and emotional approach is automatically beneath that for you. An attitude that's old school at best. Many of us actually like listening to a cute nerd chatting about his hobby passionately.
Okay this video needs an existentialism disclaimer in the beginning.
yeh i was thinking that too
@@comradeerik i was kinda joking i don't need a video to have existentialism :)
To be honest it’s a given with this channel
If you watch a Geller video and *don't* expect that, then you're new around here, lol.
Maybe his whole channel needs it?
@@yumaikas94 been watching it since his ape out video lol.. I'm just surprised people are taking this comment at face value
I've just finished watching this video. In the middle of being homeless and getting to see my childhood home one last time before it's too late. Pretty sad right?.. Wrong! You and your beautiful creativity filled my soul with joy and put me in a 1 second flashback reel of my own. In the midst of trying times, you my friend did not only put a smile on my lips but inspiring tears of joyous reminiscence from my eyes.
I sincerely would like to thank you for fearlessly doing your own beautiful thing. You are a spreader of wisdom and beauty Jacob ❤️
May your dreams be big and your heart bigger still.
I've always seen that humans memories are such a beautiful thing, each person has a different story, and it makes me so emotional for some reason, it's so beautiful.
I always connect with your videos, but this one hits in a particular way. After over a year of this pandemic, time is blurry and hard to define. I don't know what memories I've made recently. Things have happened, but it slips out of my grasp if I don't document it. I've started writing down a couple sentences on a piece of paper whenever something I want to remember happens with the aim of compiling them all into a big old journal as the years go by. The "one second of video a day" is very very tempting too.
As a hermit it's been interesting seeing all sorts of people not meant for this lifestyle thrown into it and becoming forced to truly exist in the present and ONLY the present for incredible lengths of time.
I recommend to get even the slightest changes in routine and scenery, re-arrange your furniture, try a new hobby, tell people what you've been meaning to say. It's because we take no steps of our own accord and just wait for life to shape the current of time that we feel as if nothing is happening.
@@dopaminecloud The last sentence in your comment has settled into the bedrock of my mind. I will be pondering it for a long time to come. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with me. ❤️
10:34 - “it never gets old” are you sure? looks a bit like it almost exclusively gets old
crying after watching this. i get really anxious when i don’t remember things that were once important to me: stuffed animals’ names, favorite swings, etc. this hit me right in the heart. great video, and i totally want to play BYE now
Watching this on my birthday hit hard. Now that I'm almost out of my 20s I have been thinking a lot about time and the way I remember my childhood. I find that the memories I most cherish (and are the hardest to recall) aren't big life events but little details about what the kitchen looked like in the house we lived in when I was 8, what it felt like sitting on the back porch on a rainy day when I was 14. Your one second video project is very inspiring; as a photographer I've found that my focus is shifting more and more to the mundane. The camera comes out when I like the way the sunlight comes through the living room window early in the morning, when we drive down the same stretch of highway we pass every week on the way to the grocery store. Little details make up a life in a way that big milestones can't.
I hear that outer wilds music. now that's high praise via association
"In the blink of an eye" huh...?
I've thought over this many times in many ways, and it all translates to a feeling of, how time seems to really just blink away. I told my therapist that I feel as though my life has been lived through concept. Not my life, not even a timeline.
As a kid, "nothing bad ever really happens to me" Did I ever break a bone, or get stung by a bee? No. Did I ever fall out of a tree and break a leg? No. Did anything "bad" happen to me? I never thought "bad things happen to me" but they did.
My parents fought, they split up and they drank a lot of alcohol. My mother died when I was 13, she 44 or 45. My father took over me and my sister.
I was bullied and grew up chubby, then fat. I felt body shame, I felt inner body shame, I struggled in some ways in school and not at all in others, I even almost didn't graduate. I grew up with severe joint pain and asthma, I didn't learn how to drive, I didn't try and date girls, I never worked my body enough in developing ways, I didn't build a number of good habits, I eventually stopped paying attention to people's birthdays and the days and years and each month in order.
I didn't really think ahead despite how much I thought I did. Yes I worry, I stress, I call it concern, some say "thoughtful" or others say "overthinking". Some say "kind" others say "annoying". When I sleep I do not dream, I feel a vague notion I had one. When I sleep it is not sound, I wake and I toss I turn, I do not get to sleep truly. My body is able to "push itself" to the limit of fatigue even if tired. It's like a time chamber where that "second wind" during a state of exhaustion lasts even hours and I won't feel tired until my body goes to damage control and says SHUT IT DOWN. Then I get yawns cramps tears from yawns, the sniffles, my nose feels stuffy and I can't breath so I can't even sleep when in this state of disarray...
"Bad things don't really happen to me"...
I didn't get addicted to smoking, or drinking, I didn't commit self harm, I didn't ever get into a fight-physically, nor did I ever get attacked at any point. I haven't been blamed or backstabbed by someone for things I did or didn't do in social groups. I've been cheated on once by the only girl I tried to date which lasted two weeks and attempted long distance. Despite handling everything. I really don't know IF I AM...in the end. I feel like a failure, I'm behind in life. I feel less or " undeveloped"...perhaps immature only when compared.
Like I'm "talking the talk, not walking, the walk".
Hey. I wanted to say that, while there are some differences, I've experienced much the same. My therapist calls it dissociation, it might go so far as depersonalization ("I don't feel real") or derealization ("The world doesn't feel real") or even both. The best way I've been able to rationalize the affects from it is, if I've been disconnecting my mind from myself for years, how can I get a good grasp of who I really am?
A lot of it can stem from childhood trauma. It seems you've already identified possible causes. Now all you can really do is try to ground yourself and work through the past. There are a lot of grounding techniques. Look for ones that reset the vagus nerve/reset fight or flight response. I've found it's not helpful to look up dissociation itself since all the articles usually say to not get triggered or dissociate in the first place.
Working through trauma can help sleep patterns, too. If you have any questions or just want to talk at any point, I'll be happy to help. Have a good day ♡
@@aliceiscalling thank you for such a reply. You've taken a lot of time for me.
Honestly, I didn't realize how much I had been through in the past five years until after the last presidential election. It was overwhelming and weird to realize.
It's crazy. And I'm happy to know I'm not the only one.
@@aliceiscalling I would like to take you up on your offer to talk.
There's a wonderful discord, for a game called Playne. If you'd like to find me there, let's have a chat. My nickname will be, Kowalski. discord.gg/kKzkjUzh
You may message me, my dms are open.
@@kowalski2385 Sorry it took me so long to respond. I just accepted the invite. Thank you.
Me, hearing Halo 3: ODST music at 12:54: "Jacob Geller is truly a man of culture"
As soon as i heard that first chord i was like “holy shit”
This is the first video on this platform to genuinely bring me to tears, not in reminiscing on it or in careful consideration of what actually just happened. But during watching it, in a brief eighteen minute span I was deeply affected. As the three seconds of footage of a vacation was compared to the forgotten weeks of time in one’s life. I realized this was probably the best capturing of the feeling I constantly have, the melancholic sadness that so much of our life we don’t remember. And how so much that we do isn’t the whole piece, but instead those little imperfect chunks we can hold onto. I’m not sure how to end this aside from just saying thank you.
Time for another existential crisis, brought to you by Jacob Geller.
dear god, this video hits as hard as the game itself. great work man
Every time you put out a video, I catch myself re-binging about five to ten of my favorite videos of yours. Your content is truly one of the best on UA-cam and I'm sure I'm not the first one to write this to you. On the same note, I probably won't be the first one to recommend the game "Inmost", and it's incredibly emotional scenes about grief, to you. But just in case, here I am recommending this game to you; it was truly one of the most moving games I have ever played.
Hey Mr. Geller. Your work is extremely affecting and very important to a lot people. I love that you've shared this with the world. I love that you've captured the sweet melancholy of nostalgia and the underplumed well of joy in being present. I have not played this game and I might never but I am so glad your experience brought us this. Thank you.
"I knew this game would destroy me."
> follows up by reminding me about MGS4's microwave hallway
I should've known Jacob would destroy me, too.
Why am I crying at 9 in the morning
same, but that's because I haven't blinked once the entire video
exactly
I see your roster of videos, Mr.Geller, and I often times judge them by their thumbnail, thinking that they're going to be boring or derivative. And sometimes i go into a brain dead mode, and can't do anything but watch your videos, and i would just click on any video i haven't watch, just for fun. And every single time, you manage to blow me away, and every single time, i end the video, feeling different than i was before. Thank you for your work, sir.
Me and my friend started doing the second every day because of this video, and we’ve been loving it. It’s really helping me find gratitude for those little moments of every day, something I sometimes struggle with but think is really important to do. So thank you for your videos. They really do make a difference in ways I don’t think you could have foreseen, and I look forward to every one.
I seldom know anything about the games you cover, but whenever I see an upload from you, I know I'm in for something special. You have a way of framing in words the things that cannot be expressed in words. You conjure feelings without name. It's a very special talent and I look forward to seeing more.
I love how each and every one of your videos are beautiful poems that open up every emotional door
i’ve watched a whole lot of your videos mr. geller, and i love them dearly, but this is the one that got me. it’s admirable how these discussions branch so far into difficult topics so seamlessly and understandably. each video feels like i am gaining some sort of insight that really resonates with me. it reminds me how important art is to me, especially video games. it reminds me how lucky i am to experience all of this, and reflect, and think about it just the same as you have. this particular video discusses something i struggle with quite a lot and it’s very nice to hear a point of view from someone i would say i trust. this is the one that really got me. i don’t think i’ve ever cried from a video essay on a game. this is really fantastic content. please don’t ever stop doing what you do. thank you.
Jacob is one of the only people who can make me feel melancholy and nostalgic about things I've never done
Fantastic video
I just lost a close friend of mine 2 days ago. He's the first of my very close knit group of friends to pass and the first person aside from my grandparents to ever pass in my lifetime.
I love your work Jacob. You have a gift in your perception of the world and your ability to craft a beautiful narrative from it. I broke when 14.3 Billion Years from The Outer Wilds started playing in this video. When your 3 second vacation loop degraded with each playback. Time will always pass. It won't stop no matter how much we fight it. The memories I made with my friend, all of those moments spent together...they're in my mind and my heart but they too will fade with me one day, into the vast eternity of our universe.
I'm so grateful I had them for the time I have to experience them though. Thank you for adding to my experience in life through your art. For anyone reading this, tell the people you love how much they mean to you. In the end the they are all we truly have. Those memories, those experiences and feelings and moments of happiness and sorrow....those are the truly invaluable things within our reality. Cherish them, and go with a heart for adventure into eternity.
I'll miss you my friend. I love you and maybe I'll see you when I get there too. Rest in peace, brother.
My close friend’s dad is one of the children/participants in the Up series - incredible to see it featured and a clip of him in this video! Thank you for always making me think harder and longer about everything, and providing my required dose of existential humbling.
the art style of this game is absolutely GORGEOUS god I love it
also ow how dare you poke my soul directly like this
I want to leave a heartfelt paragraph like the other comments and like I have done so many other times on your videos but it's 1am again and my feelings are probably exactly what you think they are. I'm 21 and I'm always worrying about the future and I'm so afraid of feeling like I'm waiting my time on this earth but I already do feel that way and. I'm just not sure where to go from here. All we can do is keep moving forward. Can't change the past. Time moves on and it takes us with it. Maybe I feel like I failed this last second, but this second is a new one, so let's try again. It's okay to try again. You need to keep trying again.
Love love love your videos. So grateful for these gifts you give to us.
Jacob, you have an uncommonly vast soul. I have greatly appreciated those parts of it you've shared with me.
your use of 14.3 billion years for the segment about the 1 second videos was *superb*
talking about how life blinks ahead and how feeling like the past is so distant behind me is a major thing that makes me cry. Thinking about all the missed opportunities, or all the things i regretted, or even looking back on times in my life that meant the world to me only to be obfuscated in my current perspectives really makes me feel sad and emotional. Even typing this out, im bawling my eyes out, unable to type correctly because of it. Makes me feel like im taking my life for granted and not taking the time to enjoy the beauty in it all, regardless of how i feel about my past actions or thoughts. Not sure how to end this rambling, but beautiful video. Thank you.
Same man, almost every day I remember parts of my life and I think things like "I should've done this" or "I should've said this" or "Could I have handled that better?" etc. Such is life.
as someone relatively young, this really got me thinking about the last thing i will ever say to my parents and friends and thanking god that it probably wont happen in the next 20 years. in other words is this video is so good it gave me an existential crisis.
Jacob, thanks a lot for everything you're doing here on UA-cam. Somehow all of your videos started to feel for me as encounters with an old friend where we continue the conversation on life, video games, cinema and our personal experiences. And within these discussions I am not just being quiet, with every point you make, with every detail, subject or opinion there's always a response from my side: I may disagree, or I have additional examples to support your words, etc.
Thank you for staying sincere and not being afraid to bring up some personal topics and experiences. You're just great!
Watched this just after OSP's episode about timeskips. How very fitting.
you too lol
I've watched this about ten times now over the last year or so, I can solidly say this is one of my favourite videos on the platform. The compelling emotional impact of change, and the inevitability of time eroding our memories of our lives, leaves me feeling, content?
2 years after the fact, at the tail end of 2023, I wanted to thank you Jacob. Your '1 second a day' idea stuck with me when I first watched this, so I decided to try it as a little project. That was 6 months ago, and I have a nifty little 3 minutes of video now that I just strung together and was hit by a storm of emotion. The year had a lot; school stress, a rough breakup, meeting my god-daughter, lots of DnD, some financial woes.... and they were blink and you miss it (forgive me) moments among everything else. The week I spent in a depressive angry haze was past in less time than it took to type this, and that perspective just opened up something within me. I have a feeling I'll be using this journaling project for a long time to come. So, again, thank you, for sharing and for all that you do.
You're a jem Jacob. I can barely keep up with all the media recommendations I get from your videos, but I have not been disappointed even once.
Your ability to continue to put such high quality work out so consistently will never cease to astound me, thank you.
What's a jem?
@@anthonybernero9720 no clue
I feel like you'd enjoy Brothers: a Tale of Two Sons and In Verbis Vertus! Really unique interaction in both of those. I do reccomend being in a good headspace for Tale of Two Sons and reading about the director afterwards though. Reading his reasons behind the ending afterwards really important for the overall experience.
yep, big fan of that game! It Takes Two (his recent work) is also amazing, though maybe less emotionally resonant
@@JacobGeller What did you think about the scene with the toy elephant in "It Takes Two"? I haven't played it, but some people found it more upsetting than anything in Grand Theft Auto.
Jacob, your recommendation put this game on my radar and I nabbed it on sale. No one piece of media has made me cry this hard in coming-on 10 years. I feel like it has helped me to find in myself something I always needed and had but never saw. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I don’t know why but thank you, thank you Mr.Geller. Thank you for being a UA-camr, for making this video. I want to say thank you a millions times, Thank you for making me reflect on how I think and feel in this moment, half way across the world from my home from my moms and dads and brothers and sisters on another family summer trip that will eat a 1/6th or so of my summer, thank you for causing me to think of all the priceless times I sat and spent time with family and to reflect on it now and reflect on how dinner number one thousand three hundred and seventy two with my family couldn’t fit into a singular compartment of binary as you put it, thank you for making me think of every memory I’ve missed such as walking through the Pearl Harbor memorial on my trip to Hawaii but also thank you for making me remember the nights I ventured with my dad on the trip, the days we spent in the hot sun, the days we spent eating together, the days we spent loving one another and making me remember how much I love being alive every second, making me remover that I feel bad now laying in bed in Japan knowing that if I went out today I’d have a good time but my friend has food poisoning so we lie and wait, and thank you for helping me remember every moment is a moment worth something, I forgot what I was gonna say but the feeling persists, so thank you oh so very much from one Isaiah M.
THIS VIDEO IS TWO YEARS OLD? I thought I got here early honestly but never the less the emotion is the same
I kinda of stopped commenting on UA-cam videos recently, but Jacob’s work raises such a profound emotional response in my heart, that I can’t help it. Thank you, Jacob, for taking the time to write and think and feel and share it all, with us. ❤️
I had never heard of this game before. Thank you, Jacob, for once again illuminating some small facet of life to me that I could never quite articulate, but always knew to be true. This video is profound.
This might actually be one of the best video essays I’ve ever seen. Thank you for your work in this.
your videos always manage to elicit such a deep emotional response. I find I always have this knot in my throat that seems to fall to the pit of my stomach by the end of your videos. I especially feel it in this one. I constantly am reminding the all the minutia and strong feelings we experience eventually become mere fragments we hold on to. And in time those fragments to become grains of sand lost in the vast desert of time.
I am only 23 and yet it feels as though time is already speeding up to an unbearable pace. I also find that videos like this which serve as a momento mori invigorate me. Immediately in those moments I yearn to cast away all the distractions around me and wholeheartedly immerse myself in the things which I have been putting off.
The thing that was powerful enough to keep me going when I wanted to end things was a comic which I have spent years writing the plot to. Now that I am in a much better place the thing which serves as a beacon is the combat sports which I had put off for so long but am now partaking in again, even if I lost everything as long as I could still fight I would be happy. Lately I have been trying to build as much strength as possible for said combat sports (sumo currently), in doing so I have become enraptured by olympic weightlifting, I am going to be buying a 2inch barbell and 160lbs in bumper plates soon.
I have wrestled with the fact that in pursuing these goals I may cast off the ambitions of creating a comic which i have held on to for so long, I have also come to terms with the fact that I don't have near the time I had before for playing games or watching shows. It's funny really, when I was younger I actively cheered when hearing that sports were waning in popularity as I hoped for a new age of gaming taking hold. Now as someone who has wasted far to many years of my life on games I yearn for nothing more than challenging physical feats.
In times like this I find myself thinking back to some of the opening lines of Musashi Miyamoto's book of the 5 rings. He condenses decades of sword fights into a couple sentences and remarks that he didn't truly begin learning until he was in his 30's. That strikes me extremely hard, the idea that no matter the era the passage of time and the wisdom gained from it follows the same through-line. It is a comforting thing to realize that the tertiary details may change but in the end the human plight continually follows the same path, in knowing this we can look to the past, at those who have wisdom and gain our own.
My 1st Jacob Geller video I'm watching as ot drops.
Found out about this channel 2 weeks while.I recovered from.Covid back.and was moved by its brilliance and insight.
Easily my favourite current games related youtuber.
Okay, I think this is gonna be one of those videos where I have to stop it halfway, play the game for myself, and then come back. I love this.
Also makes me really nostalgic.
Ouch this one hit me. Especially the comment about how you can remember every detail of a weekend getaway, but next to nothing about the regular work week. 40 is looming and I find myself looking back at all I've done in the first half (presumably) of my life, realizing that so much of those memories lie dormant until I actively recall them, wondering how those experiences have affected my life thereafter and how different things would be had I not experienced each of them. I don't want to lose those memories, but don't want to dwell in the past either. I'm eager to see what life has for me next, but I'm in no rush to get to the end...
This is easily my favorite video from you. Long-term projects always fascinate me, due to the commitment and patience involved, and seeing how time changes everything slowly but surely.
But also learning you're a fellow 1 Second Everyday filmer? That completely filled me with such excitement! It's a lifelong movie in the making that I've held closely in my heart over the past few years, watching the compilation every so often as it grows to get a better overview and sense of time past. It helps me find something special and worth filming every day, and remember more of them too. Surely you know exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm just so happy seeing one of my favorite UA-camrs also doing this.
We live moments too vast that even our brains can't parse the memories with precision. Time and nuance are always in conflict.
And that's okay.
ive seen this game a lot but it didnt look like something id enjoy, which turns out i was right in thinking, but i do see that it has a lot of meaning, great video as always jacob
please please please, try before your eyes. I cant explain how good it is. Ive played games for 20 years and this is the only one that touched my heart
@@menantumakawak that's definitely more a personal thing as a very large chunk of games have the occasional soul sinking moment
@@menantumakawak I feel like it would just give me anxiety, because I'd be too scared to miss stuff.
@@tabeatamm3594 i felt the same thing but that's part of its charm and the game mechanics. I always dont want to miss anything even in a boring ass dialogue in a game. However, this game works like real life. Once you miss it, there's no going back and it truly is beautiful
Alrighty. I think the reason I like your videos so much is because they remind me of what I've always known to be the most important things in life that I've forgotten. I've never really focused on the way I spend my time, the faces I see everyday, or the sights and places I go out of my way to be near... These are the things that I know subconsciously wont last forever. As I've gotten a bit older though, it's really come to the forefront of my attention and I want to preserve the good as much as possible. I've gotten into photography and film specifically for those reasons and it drives me to create.
Thanks for always giving me some inspiration to keep going, and for always prompting me to remember something I've forgotten :)
This video, was growing and growing in importance as it went on. And the end.... crushed me. I became a crying balling mess. I think time, and how it passes, and how memories interact with that, is a human experience. It appears everyone here has had their own relationship with time that has deeply affected them.... I want to express my feeling with time, and why this video hit me, and how I feel. For... 7 years of my life, starting at 14, I've been facing emotional abuse from friends. I go from one straight into the next. Learning little lessons, trying to break free, only to fall back in. First it was a crush, then it was a lifelong friend, then... it was someone new in college, a crush, but ultimately a friend... she was the most smart... unfortunately of them all. From these relationships I developed depression, I physically lost memories, I genuinely do not remember much of middle school and early high school, just... a handful of snapshots. I sought out depression medication early in college because i was noticing the impact on my memory. I couldn't let it stand, my brain is so much of who I am, and it pained me to be losing it. I also did it because of this final abuser... The cruel thing is, I got this help, started to retain my memories, but now it was of this... new psychological tortuous relationship. I remember... so many moments from it alone. And due to events that happened at the end, it feels as if... every image, snapshot... memory, is distorted, tainted, evil. I think of her smile, her telling me how thankful she was for me, her eyes lighting up when i'd ask a question, and my heart loves it. I loved this girl, whether that be platonic or romantic. Her smile...but during this time, I also have memories, her admonishing of me, dismissing my feelings, distorting the truth, the days waiting for an answer... and what happened at the end, the moment she told me she was deliberately pulling away... without telling me... since the first month I met her, two and a half years ago. A second image, or her lying about a positive experience we had, a third where she told me I was something, not a few months earlier, she said I was not. This... impetus, has taken the images of the good, these new, beautiful, wonder images, and...tainted them all. Blink and you miss it, and yet here I am tortured by the doubt. The good was a farce. All it was, was bad, and it's made up... a huge proportion of my total memories. I have always felt like I'm more mature and older than most, but simultaneously five years behind. I've never had the joy of romance. I've never had the feeling of growing apart, and mutually splitting. I've never had a friendship of just... unending empathy. I don't even remember... five years of my life, and what little I do remember, is pained, and what new was formed after those events, is tainted and red.
This video... truly, demonstrated to me... a lot of how I feel about time, my life, how it's gone, how it will go, and the nature of it. These memories, so long as they are kept, which they will be, will always be painful. I genuinely lost through medical conditions... 5 years of my time, that I will never get back, and that's okay, genuinely... maybe i don't want to remember those years. and maybe with time, I can forget these years. Time is neverending. A thing, plugging along, always present (hah). I also need to remember to really... remember the good moments. My friends supporting me for an award. Those friends learning I got into a masters program. My summer living out of my car, working for the forest service with a great crew. The work I do, helping sensitive species. The gripes I have over caring for a terrarium. The music I listen to. The times I'm content in my bed. All imperfect, ever growing and shrinking, but always... me. A life that... I can't say is good. Being categorized as "abused for nearly a decade" is... something I don't personally like. Hopefully, in time, that decade becomes... not a little under half my life, but... a quarter, a fifth, etc. To where maybe one day I can be like the others in this thread... pining about wanting to stop time to see their new wife's smile, the publishing of their article, the day their kids graduate, the day they can sit down and go "I am content with my life as is".