AVOIDING SCAMS - Terrible Writing Advice

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  • Опубліковано 3 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 993

  • @TerribleWritingAdvice
    @TerribleWritingAdvice  5 років тому +1735

    Useful resources for writers when it comes to avoiding scams.
    www.sfwa.org/other-resources/for-authors/writer-beware/ < Writer Beware. One of the older and more useful sources when it comes to avoiding scams
    accrispin.blogspot.com/ < The Writer Beware blog
    www.victoriastrauss.com/advice/contests/ < Victoria Strauss’s article on fraud writing contests
    www.sfwa.org/other-resources/for-authors/writer-beware/agents/ < Writer Beware on agent scams

    • @KnightSlasher
      @KnightSlasher 5 років тому +8

      Ok this is epic

    • @Ed_man_talking9
      @Ed_man_talking9 5 років тому +8

      welp, good Sunday morning buddy! you're up early!

    • @Shenaldrac
      @Shenaldrac 5 років тому +8

      I would suggest including these in the description too.

    • @theodorepinnock1517
      @theodorepinnock1517 5 років тому +13

      Is this from personal experience? I hope not.

    • @AnarchoAmericium
      @AnarchoAmericium 5 років тому +15

      @@theodorepinnock1517
      It sounds like it.
      Press 'F' to pay respects, THEN HEAD OVER TO HIS PATREON HE CAN EAT AND SLE_ ERR MAKE NEW VIDEOS EVERY MONTH! :D

  • @zappodude7591
    @zappodude7591 5 років тому +2871

    My stocks in a red flag manufacturer just soared for some reason.

    • @thomasbaird5324
      @thomasbaird5324 5 років тому +116

      Clearly the money is in the red flag business

    • @namkha209
      @namkha209 5 років тому +94

      ***STONKS***

    • @Carewolf
      @Carewolf 5 років тому +81

      I have invested all my money in red flag enterprises.. I am sure they will call me back anyday to tell me how much I have earned

    • @zappodude7591
      @zappodude7591 5 років тому +40

      Hopefully this will help pay off my $500,000 dollar debt from that Pakistani monk's contrivium deal.

    • @zappodude7591
      @zappodude7591 5 років тому +30

      @Hoàng Nguyên What are you talking about? All the Pakistanis I've met are wise hermit monks who shun all material possessions but still have the internet and a large stockpile of rare minerals that I can inherit for nothing but a small processing fee paid through Western Union.

  • @minskghoul
    @minskghoul 5 років тому +3771

    Next episode's love triange: Mr. Terrible Writing Advice
    , The Nigerian Prince and The Ukrainian bride.

    • @akrinornoname2769
      @akrinornoname2769 5 років тому +133

      I ship TRA and the Nigerian prince

    • @daltonfilho835
      @daltonfilho835 5 років тому +256

      Plot twist: Nigerian Prince and Ukrainian Bride are the same person

    • @asalways1504
      @asalways1504 5 років тому +65

      Quick find another character to complete the love triangle!

    • @dipdop9734
      @dipdop9734 5 років тому +119

      @@daltonfilho835 Second twist: The Nigerian Prince/Ukrainian Bride was JP's *cousin* all along! We can make a full soap opera out of this trio

    • @ShankarSivarajan
      @ShankarSivarajan 5 років тому +18

      @@dipdop9734 duo*.

  • @aidanmuller3358
    @aidanmuller3358 5 років тому +3156

    Only 6,000 dollars? Wow, your Ukrainian bride sure is low maintenance.

    • @wrayday7149
      @wrayday7149 5 років тому +64

      Aidan Muller best part of it all, you don’t need her name to identify her. She will be the one with the 3rd arm and glowing in the dark.... gonna save you soooo much money by not having to have lights on in the house at night, and free heat for the winter..... win win and win, if I do say so myself... which I do.

    • @pussinboots838
      @pussinboots838 5 років тому +9

      @@wrayday7149 better than most wives earned by investing in "meaningful" relationships that just keep using up your money for useless cosmetics after marriage. I'd say that Ukrainian beauty is a quadruple money saving win.

    • @ravenn2631
      @ravenn2631 5 років тому +42

      As someone who reads a lot of business and sale books, here are some tricks businesses use to scam or influence people to buy their stuff at the top of my head.
      1. Notice how some stories put 1.99 and not just 2 bucks? Notice how some products are 3.99 and not 4 bucks? Well, research shows that this slight difference in price makes it look a lot cheaper to people.
      2. Some companies make certain similar products more expensive than other similar products on purpose, because people assume more expensive products are always higher quality.
      3. Some companies like to make stuff available only for a limited time to use fear to pressure you in making a decision to buy it.
      4. Some companies show you a list of bad options, products and services first on purpose, then show you the real product they want you to buy because it makes it look so much better compared to the worst ones.
      5. Some stores give you freebies such as trying some free tries of their snacks because it influences you to embarassed so you would feel obliged to pay them back with their product.
      6. Some companies like to make really emotional advertisements, especially ones to make you cry, to attract as many viewers as possible.
      7. Some companies put fake good reviews on their websites, so check out some of more honest reviews on other websites.
      8. Notice how in call worker companies, when you pick up the phone, they tell you how many years of experience they have? Yes, that’s for a reason.
      9. Some companies aim to make their product views as controversial as possible on purpose, because that would attract more buyers because people love the drama, even if they say they hate it.
      10. Lastly, advertisers and companies often have something called Company Archetypes based on Carl Jung’s 12 archetypes. That is when they market themselves, they attach certain values to their product, so when people buy the product, they’re not just buying the product, but the values associated with the company. That’s why you associate hippie and rebellious young techies with Apple users and think more experienced and hardworking older programmers with Microsoft.
      Sincerely,
      Very honest marketer.
      PS : If you want some info on how to avoid being manipulated, inform others not to be manipulated or how to manipulate those who manipulate others to not make them manipulate others as I do, try the books 48 Laws of Power or Influence. There’s the Chinese “Thick Face, Black Heart.” Also books on Toltecs’ advice on how to live life (Think basically Mexican philosophers and spiritual thinkers) has a lot to mention on how not to care about others think that would make you pressured to spend a lot of dumb money on something. Think Don Miguel Ruiz maybe as an author, “The Four Attachments,” and a lot more if you look.

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 5 років тому +15

      *for those interested the value/exchange rate of the Ukrainian dollar (or hryvnia) is around 0.041 per United States Dollar so yeah, at 243.89 that's a real bargain alright...*

    • @formerlygrimagikoopa
      @formerlygrimagikoopa 4 роки тому

      this reply is extremely unoriginal and annoying but
      2000th like

  • @melmen0662
    @melmen0662 5 років тому +2100

    The Nigerian prince is the most trustworthy person since my injured uncle Billy who called me for money instead of calling 911

    • @highcouncil1302
      @highcouncil1302 5 років тому +121

      Did he charge you a call fee everyone knows if you call someone who's injured you got to pay a call fee

    • @petitio_principii
      @petitio_principii 5 років тому +41

      Do any of them have a particular recommendation on masculinity size-wise enhancement techniques? I receive lots of offers of this kind, I'm sure some may be just more effective than others.

    • @dinachayarubin5600
      @dinachayarubin5600 5 років тому +12

      A Nigerian prince once tried to romance me.

    • @highcouncil1302
      @highcouncil1302 5 років тому +12

      @@petitio_principii yeah he charged me $60 from he said he would deliver it in 6 months

    • @melmen0662
      @melmen0662 5 років тому +5

      @@highcouncil1302 I was making a reference to how scammers pretend to be someone you know. it was just another scammer pretending to be my "uncle"

  • @PantherCat64
    @PantherCat64 5 років тому +2225

    The reason you can trust Terrible Writing Advice is because at least the channel name is staying honest.

    • @eliegbert8121
      @eliegbert8121 5 років тому +52

      Err.404=Logic_not_found

    • @christianbjorck816
      @christianbjorck816 5 років тому +147

      You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly!

    • @cheshirecat882
      @cheshirecat882 5 років тому +39

      Maybe you should ask a completely honest person what a dishonest person would do. It's not like the FBI would ever hired successful criminals or anything.

    • @Joey-pb6ul
      @Joey-pb6ul 5 років тому +38

      @@christianbjorck816 It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

    • @christianbjorck816
      @christianbjorck816 5 років тому +6

      Nameless Person God I love that movie.

  • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
    @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 5 років тому +2931

    Now, I could avoid scams. But...I really, _REALLY_ need to know how this person has stopped aging and why doctors hate them.

    • @Somber_Knight
      @Somber_Knight 5 років тому +190

      Doctors hate "them" and not "him"? this inconsistent grammar is interesting, now I really need to know too!

    • @myssledissle
      @myssledissle 5 років тому +170

      They killed the doctor's family.
      The doctor is angry.
      Wear a necklace of apples to ward his attacks while you speak.

    • @chimaeraarts
      @chimaeraarts 5 років тому +78

      Who should I trust? Just Some Guy with a Mustache or Just Some Guy without a Mustache?

    • @bificommander7472
      @bificommander7472 5 років тому +12

      He/they are malpractice attorneys who committed suicide.

    • @ididntknowtheyhadwifiinhell
      @ididntknowtheyhadwifiinhell 5 років тому +59

      it's all down to this one simple trick! ...number five will SHOCK you. [photo of a really gross injury] [photo of a bowl of mashed bananas]

  • @firockfinion3326
    @firockfinion3326 5 років тому +699

    The amount of, "this is speaking from personal experience" vibes coming from this video kinda scares me...

    • @alucard347
      @alucard347 5 років тому +114

      same here...
      Is JP alright?

    • @BlackCover95
      @BlackCover95 5 років тому +136

      ALUCARD
      If this was real, it probably happened a long time ago. I doubt JP would be alluding to it if it were _that_ recent.

    • @alucard347
      @alucard347 5 років тому +49

      @@BlackCover95
      True.
      But still.

    • @Caldella
      @Caldella 4 роки тому +12

      Unrelated but damn your avatar gave me nostalgia flashbacks. Been years since I've seen a Slorg.

    • @sineadthomas2024
      @sineadthomas2024 4 роки тому +19

      It feels like he’s got scam emails, but never replied

  • @mcbadrobotvoice8155
    @mcbadrobotvoice8155 5 років тому +1432

    I can teach you guys how not to get scammed. You have to send me your credit card info first though.

    • @dracomurdock6349
      @dracomurdock6349 5 років тому +85

      If you can do something well, never do it for free.

    • @mcbadrobotvoice8155
      @mcbadrobotvoice8155 5 років тому +57

      Draco Murdock what if you are good at helping homeless people?

    • @bobbymcbobmcbilly322
      @bobbymcbobmcbilly322 5 років тому +38

      Okkkkkk I will give u my roYal Nigerian credit caErd numbbb if u give me yours first ;)

    • @johnbrengman6868
      @johnbrengman6868 5 років тому +36

      Ok, my VISA is 4017-0988-2013-0991, the expiration is 02/23 and the three-digit code is 988. When can I get the info? :)

    • @jonsnor4313
      @jonsnor4313 5 років тому +17

      Ok, i trust you fully without any question what records or other clients you even had, and sucessful sales, or if you have an office, no take my house key, my credit card, my first born. I trust you call back some day.

  • @jaytonius560
    @jaytonius560 5 років тому +1360

    If there's a love triangle involved, somebody's getting scammed.

    • @remixtheidiot5771
      @remixtheidiot5771 5 років тому +35

      I mean......... Technically.

    • @LORDOFDORKNESS42
      @LORDOFDORKNESS42 5 років тому +24

      There is such a thing as a Ménage à trois...
      But if you've got the energy, stamina, AND raw charisma to pull one of those of, I don't think you need even the mighty Skillshare.

    • @pyroman2918
      @pyroman2918 5 років тому +9

      Yeah. The reader

    • @artemiswolf4508
      @artemiswolf4508 5 років тому +12

      The love pyramid scheme

    • @Fif0l
      @Fif0l 5 років тому +9

      Love pyramid scheme.

  • @matthewmabry1709
    @matthewmabry1709 5 років тому +953

    The most important thing to remember is to always fully trust Hollywood when making movie adaptations.

    • @whatteamwildcats4033
      @whatteamwildcats4033 5 років тому +76

      Give them full control-theres no three big series **cough** Harry Potter** **cough** Percy Jackson** **avatar the last Airbender** -excuse me, that give you any reason to pause when giving control to a director

    • @Chelaxim
      @Chelaxim 5 років тому +35

      Well if Stephen King's remake of the Shining has proven anything just because the author is the director and more faithful doesn't mean it's going to be good.Steven King hates Kubrick's version of the Shining and Anne Rice has no issue with Queen of the Damned.

    • @FraserSouris
      @FraserSouris 5 років тому +40

      @@whatteamwildcats4033
      Jurassic Park, How to Train your Dragon, Fight Club, Princess Bride, Forest Gump, Jumangi, Godfather, Jaws, Shawshank Redemption
      Am I a Joke to you?

    • @sadiemcc9363
      @sadiemcc9363 5 років тому +13

      ​@@FraserSouris The Princess Bride is one of the greatest movies of all time. I don't mean to be rude, for I have not read the book yet, I just have to speak the truth.

    • @thatonewriter8043
      @thatonewriter8043 5 років тому +22

      I think the big issue is to avoid being fleeced. Jaws is a big reason why you'll find the original writer in the credits of every movie. IIRC, the writer had so little faith in that movie that he opted out of all affiliation with it, including royalties.

  • @thekaticorn99
    @thekaticorn99 5 років тому +494

    How to make a book that's the best book scammers have ever read ever:
    -plot
    -characters
    -belongs to a genre
    -has other things that books have

    • @pRahvi0
      @pRahvi0 4 роки тому +38

      @Mediocrity Don't worry, if you send me a copy of it along with your credit card and valid ID, I'm sure we can find a pseudo catego... I mean _target_ _audience_ that can make your work shine in the -trash- -bin- glory it belongs to.

    • @baranxlr
      @baranxlr 4 роки тому +8

      @Mediocrity modern art

    • @railfan_3371
      @railfan_3371 2 роки тому +3

      @vacuum sealed garfield finally a good book

    • @ConnanTheCivilized
      @ConnanTheCivilized 2 роки тому +6

      @vacuum sealed garfield Ah yes, a classic slice of rock experience. If you pay me “One HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS,” I will find a market for it. I’ll even throw in a Super Darwin Award!
      - A Totally Trustworthy Bald Evil Doctor With A Cat

  • @past874
    @past874 5 років тому +575

    You see, your first mistake was not involving yourself in a love triangle with these scammers. That always makes these deals work out!

    • @jonsnor4313
      @jonsnor4313 5 років тому +51

      Those shark agency could have had a treacherous love triangle. With pointless, senseless intrigues and romance. What a missed opportunity.

    • @glumbortango7182
      @glumbortango7182 3 роки тому +9

      @@jonsnor4313 A bunch of love triangles in a cutthroat industry generating and complicating plots and interests actually sounds like a golden writer's prompt

    • @ConnanTheCivilized
      @ConnanTheCivilized 2 роки тому

      @@glumbortango7182 Probably, but I still wouldn’t read it. Maybe it should rebrand to the inexperienced but horny YA audience.

    • @plantainsame2049
      @plantainsame2049 2 роки тому +2

      @@glumbortango7182 so basically a telenovela I've always scam callers yuck you can make good stuff with that but not my cup of tea

  • @kieyvsquared6817
    @kieyvsquared6817 5 років тому +1058

    I can feel the seething anger through the screen. THE ILLUSION IS BREAKING.

    • @Crawdithe98
      @Crawdithe98 5 років тому +153

      Ikr, like he's personally been through this before.
      *HMMM*

    • @TheRezro
      @TheRezro 5 років тому +35

      @@Crawdithe98 Everyone was. It isn't unique problem.

    • @Crawdithe98
      @Crawdithe98 5 років тому +18

      @@TheRezro Well, I haven't. At least not yet.

    • @TheRezro
      @TheRezro 5 років тому +14

      @@Crawdithe98 Good luck then.

    • @christophergarcia9022
      @christophergarcia9022 5 років тому +24

      @@Crawdithe98 *yet*

  • @purplehaze2358
    @purplehaze2358 4 роки тому +65

    I love how the phrase “Nigerian prince” is now a synonym for lying scammer.

  • @CorwinTheOneAndOnly
    @CorwinTheOneAndOnly 5 років тому +504

    This video almost sound like it came from a personal place. If true, my condolences for you or whoever you know whom had this happen.

    • @hollyingraham3980
      @hollyingraham3980 5 років тому +37

      @blackrave404 So he could deposit the huge royalties directly!

  • @TheManOfManyNames373
    @TheManOfManyNames373 5 років тому +906

    Remember that there's no shame in admitting that you've been tricked, you've been backstabbed, and you've been, quite possibly, bamboozled.

    • @everestcanyon5647
      @everestcanyon5647 5 років тому +26

      Yeah, but you sure do feel guilty for discrediting another human being though.

    • @mdnessfreeze1661
      @mdnessfreeze1661 5 років тому +7

      Just like the simulations.

    • @otterex
      @otterex 5 років тому +21

      Or you could do
      Scammer: If you sign with us we’ll enter you in for 10 different awards and sign you with a 5 star editor for $2.
      You: My sensors indicate you’re lying, and my bullshit meter agrees.

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 5 років тому +10

      *the real fun starts when you put up a considerable bounty on the heads of those who scammed you then post the video of their cowering forms as they are being attacked by giant lobsters while canned laughter plays in the background....naturally that footage would be demonetized on some social media platforms but you can accept that*

    • @mikitz
      @mikitz 4 роки тому +5

      Wanna make sure you're getting scammed at some point?
      Just say 'I can't be scammed' out loud.
      Modesty *does* work.

  • @casual_ice_consumer4148
    @casual_ice_consumer4148 5 років тому +212

    At (4:54), the small text reads:
    "We reserve the right to display your work on our site forever. Also we own your firstborn child now."

    • @joehayes9933
      @joehayes9933 5 років тому +48

      Jokes on them, I sold my child for a toaster years ago.

    • @namkedi
      @namkedi 5 років тому +1

      Thanks
      Says every last person with myopia

    • @joslyncarter4813
      @joslyncarter4813 5 років тому +2

      @@joehayes9933 A Keurig woulda been better.

    • @joehayes9933
      @joehayes9933 5 років тому +2

      @@joslyncarter4813 does your keurig machine have a timer? If not, then suck it!

    • @joslyncarter4813
      @joslyncarter4813 5 років тому +2

      @@joehayes9933 😔

  • @jamesdeerwood146
    @jamesdeerwood146 5 років тому +143

    "...Get paid with exposure which I'm pretty sure killed most of the Donner Party along with starvation"
    Brilliant

  • @johnathonhaney8291
    @johnathonhaney8291 5 років тому +246

    Everything said above goes double for ghostwriters. There are no shortage of people who want to use your talent to get a free script out of you. Methods range from underpaying you for your time to begging you to come in with them outside whatever third party website they found you at.

    • @johnathonhaney8291
      @johnathonhaney8291 5 років тому +29

      @Fountainblaze Yeah...a legit profession with a long pedigree. You do the work, someone else's name is on the finished product. In exchange for a one-time fee, you do this job.

  • @ursidae97
    @ursidae97 5 років тому +610

    You've become very very good at giving ridiculously practical advice for writers in between the lines. Respect.

    • @mikitz
      @mikitz 4 роки тому +6

      Skillshare, however, is obviously not a scam, since it's advertised absolutely everywhere.

    • @warmike
      @warmike 4 роки тому +2

      @@mikitz Raid Casino Legends is also advertised everywhere

  • @DWN037
    @DWN037 5 років тому +547

    "The Nigerian Prince I'm letting borrow my bank account-"
    SAY NO MORE.
    SAY NO MORE.

    • @Seadog7981
      @Seadog7981 5 років тому +26

      My Prince gave me 12 million dollars.

    • @ralek592
      @ralek592 5 років тому +17

      @@Seadog7981 Click here to get atomized and bombed, then reformed and revived and reorganized into your cell combination at its prime, right in front of me! Your very own Nigerian Prince. givemeyourmoneyunconditionally.org
      This experience may be painful, even traumatic as suggested by 98.45 of our customers, but I assure you it is perfectly safe and you'll recover in no time!

    • @yarpen26
      @yarpen26 5 років тому +5

      I had an Ivorian who told me of my uncle's death in a car accident and that I needed his help to get the inheritance money.

    • @ConnanTheCivilized
      @ConnanTheCivilized 2 роки тому +2

      @@ralek592 What! That’s insane in a hilarious way, I’d totally like to read anything you write.

    • @ralek592
      @ralek592 2 роки тому

      @@ConnanTheCivilized I got scared reading my own comment I thought an actual bot took over my account and posted weird ad shit lol

  • @KnightSlasher
    @KnightSlasher 5 років тому +725

    Just say ok to scammers, and if they say stop saying ok say okay just to annoy them ok.

  • @Schut_gorokhoviy
    @Schut_gorokhoviy 5 років тому +134

    1:20
    As a Russian, I can tell you that this is some spelling and grammar far superior to even what a sober Russian would be capable of.
    P.S Russian isn't the only language that uses Cyrillic, others do too.

    • @emiledlund9559
      @emiledlund9559 5 років тому +2

      Do you know what the Cyrillic email translates to?

    • @Schut_gorokhoviy
      @Schut_gorokhoviy 5 років тому +13

      Nope, it's either not Russian, or just gibberish.
      Most likely the latter, because I doubt TWA would go out of his way to find some word from a foreign language to use in an email in one of his videos.

    • @rainofstars00
      @rainofstars00 5 років тому +22

      I'm pretty sure its just JP typing "notascam" into Google Translate

    • @khatunamezvrishvili6211
      @khatunamezvrishvili6211 4 роки тому +1

      @@Schut_gorokhoviy I think it says notascam but in a weird way

    • @nathanwise1608
      @nathanwise1608 3 роки тому +1

      Honestly, Blazar, I don't see a problem with your use of English. I'd say you use it quite well.

  • @erintris
    @erintris 5 років тому +87

    Hhmmm, i seem to be getting caught in a long running scam. It’s a bunch of writing videos that spout advice that gets me in trouble more often than not! I mean I thought doing a love triangle with only Mary Sues would really get me noticed! Thank you for your advice, J.P. I’ll be sure to watch all your videos 10 times over!

  • @blizzyyt2281
    @blizzyyt2281 5 років тому +225

    The anger in your voice makes me think these are becoming personal

    • @scaper8
      @scaper8 5 років тому +63

      If they are, at least he's matured and wizened enough to be able to laugh at his follies. Not too many of us get to that point.

    • @edisonching5734
      @edisonching5734 5 років тому +12

      glad im not the only one who felt that. kindda intense

    • @yarpen26
      @yarpen26 5 років тому +22

      I really hope the scam he fell to wasn't nearly this transparent though. I mean, sure, you should learn from your mistakes but you don't need vast experience to figure out that a shady email you got is not something you should throw your money on.

    • @cosmicspacething3474
      @cosmicspacething3474 4 роки тому +5

      I’m thinking it was someone he knew that got scammed

    • @sweethysteria8737
      @sweethysteria8737 4 роки тому +8

      It makes sense he would be angry when talking about lowlife scammers who prey on young naive writer.
      People who do that are awful

  • @skeletonking2501
    @skeletonking2501 5 років тому +334

    *"A NeW yOrK tImEs bEsT sElLeR"*

    • @talaset6208
      @talaset6208 5 років тому +100

      "Funniest movie of the year!"
      - its February.

    • @malachiowens3423
      @malachiowens3423 5 років тому +50

      Literally every popular book ever

    • @Manglet762
      @Manglet762 5 років тому +53

      It's hilarious to see a book with the "New York Times best seller" quote right after passing by 5 other books that say the same thing.

    • @melvinmerkelhopper5752
      @melvinmerkelhopper5752 5 років тому +3

      Who remembers this?
      www.amazon.com/Putting-Foot-Down-Brent-Underwood-ebook/dp/B01CGVG6RQ

    • @giantpinkcat
      @giantpinkcat 3 роки тому +3

      New York Times Best Seller just means a lot of people read it. It doesn't mean it's necessarily GOOD.

  • @srcoleccionista2476
    @srcoleccionista2476 3 роки тому +25

    5:09 "Reading is for losers." J.P. Beaubien, a writer.

  • @Kravockian
    @Kravockian 5 років тому +24

    As someone who has been trying to get an agent for years, the entire industry feels like a scam.

  • @kevinscott7292
    @kevinscott7292 5 років тому +70

    "You can always trust somebody with three first names"
    The frig man my middle name is Michael!!!!!!

  • @thekaticorn99
    @thekaticorn99 5 років тому +35

    Author: *gets scammed*
    Comic relief character: *Z A P P E R S*

    • @wilburdemitel8468
      @wilburdemitel8468 3 роки тому +1

      Author: gets scammed
      Comic relief character: Z A P P E R S
      I'm waiting
      are you laughing yet? is this reply funny to you? does this even look remotely like comedy? Why do yo have to do this, I don't think there's even a recognizable joke here, it's just the zappers shit that we heard a million times from jp himself.

  • @BewareTheLilyOfTheValley
    @BewareTheLilyOfTheValley 5 років тому +209

    "I should invite the Nigerian prince to the wedding!" Lol!

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 5 років тому +7

      *i hear he's very thoughtful with is gift selections...especially with his friends and online acquaintances*

  • @000Dragon50000
    @000Dragon50000 5 років тому +32

    Aaaand this is why I turned to the Deviantart Webcomic model and have been trying to adapt it to work with prose writing. Sustaining a patreon seems so much better than trying to deal with trad-publishing properly, or trying to avoid such and still get published without copping a scam to the face..

    • @HxH2011DRA
      @HxH2011DRA 5 років тому +1

      Good luck buddy, it's tough out there

    • @ZaLewdWarudo
      @ZaLewdWarudo 5 років тому +1

      Know what you mean.

  • @katerwaul9574
    @katerwaul9574 5 років тому +18

    When you look at everything through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.

  • @hypedmaniac8444
    @hypedmaniac8444 5 років тому +138

    **James Veitch intensifies**

    • @Somber_Knight
      @Somber_Knight 5 років тому +9

      **Skill Share Intensifies**

    • @chimaeraarts
      @chimaeraarts 5 років тому +30

      H U M M U S I S G O I N G T O B E B I G

    • @EvelineDaw
      @EvelineDaw 5 років тому +5

      @blackrave404 Look up James Veitch. xD

    • @chimaeraarts
      @chimaeraarts 5 років тому +6

      @blackrave404 thats just part of his jokes. Also, would like to have a red toaster?

    • @trentgreenfield1490
      @trentgreenfield1490 4 роки тому +3

      TOASTER BONANZA
      *No conditions apply!*

  • @UserRedZero
    @UserRedZero 5 років тому +189

    _Hey you wanna write essays for college students?_
    “No not really. Wait, is that even legal?”
    _Well what about business writing, you can write about accounts and sales right?_
    “Not particularly though I did get work writing for a video game. Anything like that again?”
    _Never touched the stuff. Hey you wanna fill in for this blog we shut down last year?_

    • @johnathonhaney8291
      @johnathonhaney8291 5 років тому +27

      I can verify that all three of these job types have popped up on Upwork until recently.

  • @valiant2398
    @valiant2398 5 років тому +47

    6:51
    That's actually a cool idea for a character arc in a book.
    I don't know what I'm going to do with said arc, but it may turn out into something interesting.

  • @benthomason3307
    @benthomason3307 5 років тому +43

    "Reading is for loosers." --An aspiring author.

    • @nenmaster5218
      @nenmaster5218 2 роки тому

      May seem random to some but this video made me wanna recommend Atomic Shrimp, Sci Man Dan,
      Professor Dave and maybe-more-if-youw-want, cause they cover $camms and i dont want people to fal for ‚em.

  • @KracklinDark
    @KracklinDark 5 років тому +103

    "Analytical Thinking? WHATS THAT!" I scream huddled in the corner of my basement writing a twilight fanfic...

    • @oneofmanyparadoxfans5447
      @oneofmanyparadoxfans5447 5 років тому +15

      Twilight fanfic? Wait, are you the author of Fifty Shades of Gray?

    • @Audioworm
      @Audioworm 4 роки тому +4

      At least you're self-aware.

    • @canaisyoung3601
      @canaisyoung3601 3 роки тому

      It's has the word "anal" in it. I don't like the sound of it.

  • @samdurfee6093
    @samdurfee6093 5 років тому +107

    I am literally looking forward to the Villain skits more then the actual writing advice 😂.
    "A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!,"
    "BLACK KNIGHT MC'STABBY PANTS!"

    • @Superkid33
      @Superkid33 2 роки тому

      IKR! I really love the villain skits xD

  • @ArtichokeAnarchy
    @ArtichokeAnarchy 5 років тому +429

    Moral of the story: Don’t get bought out by EA

    • @ArtichokeAnarchy
      @ArtichokeAnarchy 5 років тому +79

      Or Disney, definitely not Disney.

    • @C0urierbutterfly21
      @C0urierbutterfly21 5 років тому +9

      @@ArtichokeAnarchy Yeah or your stuff will be ruined

    • @boshwa20
      @boshwa20 5 років тому +13

      Wow. An EA joke. Where'd you copy and paste this from?

    • @talaset6208
      @talaset6208 5 років тому +35

      @@boshwa20 wow, a copy-paste joke. Did you read that on the back of a cereal box.?

    • @kindoflame
      @kindoflame 5 років тому +7

      Being bought out is not exactly something you are in control of.

  • @gingerkatherina
    @gingerkatherina 5 років тому +7

    "If it is to good to be true just be more positive" is my new jam 🔥

  • @hasiumcreeper5384
    @hasiumcreeper5384 5 років тому +39

    I always love the TWAEU segments at the end of each video.

  • @ArcanineEspeon
    @ArcanineEspeon 4 роки тому +4

    I really hope there's one person out there who directly avoided a scam or broke free of the sunken cost fallacy thanks to this video.

  • @Liboo52
    @Liboo52 5 років тому +14

    That Exposure-Donner Party line was genius. That’s top-tier wittiness.
    Around 6:00

  • @carbonmonoxide5052
    @carbonmonoxide5052 5 років тому +104

    I love how if you convert the Cyrillic name to Latin you get notascam/notastsam (“not a scam”).

    • @wrayday7149
      @wrayday7149 5 років тому +21

      They are from Notascamistan.

    • @HagenvonEitzen
      @HagenvonEitzen 5 років тому +2

      I couldn't figure it out for I read it as notastsam ...

    • @scottmantooth8785
      @scottmantooth8785 5 років тому +2

      good chance that was intentional

  • @daydariftwalker
    @daydariftwalker 3 роки тому +14

    To those who don't know the Russian alphabet, "нотасцам" is supposed to read as "not a scam", but as a note from me, 'ц' is pronounced as 'ts' so a better letter would be 'к', which is pronounced the same as in English.
    Sorry to any Russians out there if I got this wrong, Russian is my second language.
    Thanks for reading!

  • @funkyphill4861
    @funkyphill4861 5 років тому +29

    I got a very wealthy Nigerian Prince ready to sponsor your next video J.B.

    • @seaemji8591
      @seaemji8591 5 років тому +3

      Careful, the Ukrainian bride will get jealous

  • @grand-dadmiral
    @grand-dadmiral 5 років тому +18

    Oh no, not Knight-Commander McStabbyPants! The plot thickens, my wallet drains, my love has three corners and my skills expand with Skillshare. Whatever shall we do?

  • @EHH246
    @EHH246 5 років тому +71

    “And don’t listen to that Ackbar guy!” Nice Easter Egg.

    • @valentinmitterbauer4196
      @valentinmitterbauer4196 5 років тому +6

      Oh Ackbar. Many will miss him. In more than one way.
      Ackbar's suit actor almost cried in his statement as in a way Rian Johnson disrespected the character of Ackbar by a rather tone death take on set. To understand why this hit the suit actor and many old fans in the heart was because while Ackbar may only had a few lines in the movies, he is one of the most important and fleshed- out characters in the lore of Star Wars. Realising that the director of the new production most likely doesn't know the "off- screen" importance of the character and instead treated him as a joke, since his meme status, must have hurt for the suit actor. Realising that many new fans don't know/ care about the original canonical backstories either, looking at twitter responses, hurts me personally as worldbuilder/ writer.

    • @francisthompson3772
      @francisthompson3772 5 років тому +7

      @@valentinmitterbauer4196 Most only have seen the movies, and those few lines don't make an interesting character...

    • @valentinmitterbauer4196
      @valentinmitterbauer4196 5 років тому

      @@francisthompson3772 You could at least demand that the movie's director has a clue about it...

  • @justarandomkid1152
    @justarandomkid1152 5 років тому +382

    Please make a terrible writing advice on making terrible writing advice

    • @villagirl2107
      @villagirl2107 5 років тому +28

      Just slap in a random love triangle and you're done

    • @Joey-pb6ul
      @Joey-pb6ul 5 років тому +23

      So wouldn't the video end up giving good writing advice?

    • @andrewgwilliam4831
      @andrewgwilliam4831 5 років тому +10

      @@Joey-pb6ul {head explodes}

    • @williamstark9568
      @williamstark9568 5 років тому +7

      Meta.

  • @ozzygm3178
    @ozzygm3178 5 років тому +5

    Man, the Skillshare sponsorship has more plot than most of Hollywood. What a time to be alive!

  • @taltamir
    @taltamir 5 років тому +23

    scammer: "Hello, this is your bank calling about your account"
    scammer: "Hello, this is your car dealership calling about your car"
    me: I don't actually deal with any company called "your car dealership" and I have more than one bank.
    I get the above 3 times a day, every single day.

    • @williamdrum9899
      @williamdrum9899 Рік тому +2

      I get texts about my Wells Fargo account. The account I don't actually have.

  • @feralchangeling97
    @feralchangeling97 5 років тому +56

    So when's the wedding? Is the prince gonna be there?

  • @joslyncarter4813
    @joslyncarter4813 5 років тому +120

    The Nigerian Prince got a bad rap. And I'm sure that your future Ukrainian bride 👰 will be the wife of your dreams. Only the best...for $6000!

  • @inspectorjavert8443
    @inspectorjavert8443 5 років тому +11

    4:04, I actually got this treatment from an agency that was listed on the WGA website, you can't trust anyone these days...

  • @greenapple9477
    @greenapple9477 3 роки тому +3

    When you think about it, it's ironic that JP originally showed them as one dimensional villain characters, but with the sponsership wars, they got more and more depth and characterization to them. Like DL actually liking MLP and binge watching Netflix. lol

  • @ConnanTheCivilized
    @ConnanTheCivilized 2 роки тому +3

    Star Trek DS9 did an episode where they seemingly presented a ‘cure for aging,’ as if it were a real possibility. At the end of the episode, the character we’d been following was mocked for being taken in by such an obvious scam. You know an idea is moronic when even Star Trek lampoons it.

  • @eeofication
    @eeofication 5 років тому +4

    Man after checking out some of the links in the description I certainly feel better read ironically. Some of those scams run surprisingly deep.

  • @downix
    @downix 5 років тому +2

    I have seen all of these back when I worked in cinema. It is astounding how anything legitimate gets out through the weeds of scammers.

  • @TanyaTeineKing
    @TanyaTeineKing 5 років тому +6

    But but but, Jaws told me my writing career was going swimmingly!
    (I am going to stalk that blog down here, thanks!)

  • @soy6707
    @soy6707 5 років тому +10

    Scams? Those don't exist, my good friend from Nigeria will definitely deliver my money post haste!

  • @krankarvolund7771
    @krankarvolund7771 5 років тому +17

    "Writing should never flow to a writer, a writer must pay for the privilege of writing for a publisher. I'm sure that's how most other jobs work."
    Well, in reality, that's how scientific publications works XD
    Scientists paid revues to publish their works, and then they paid revues to read the works of their colleagues :D

    • @jw8628
      @jw8628 5 років тому +2

      No and no. He said money not writing. The scientists you mentioned are often university professors that get better payed jobs the more they publish for example the ones that get tenure. The universities they work at also gives them access to their database so that part eith them paying to read what their colleagues articles is off. Their research projects expense are almost always paid by someone else.
      Cant compare writers with people with doctorates. Writers are more like actors with a small few making bank and the rest have to live off another job or survive. While a majority of scientists have a decent stable income. There's the few earning big in the pharmaceutical or any field that has commercial use.
      Of course always a small minority struggling because of the nature of the field they study. But those are very rare.

  • @jordanhamann9123
    @jordanhamann9123 5 років тому +11

    I hope you're secretly writing stories about the Terrible Writing Advice expanded universe

  • @moth3562
    @moth3562 5 років тому +28

    The real scam is believing it’s a scam!
    So buy now!

  • @PatIreland-tw9lr
    @PatIreland-tw9lr Рік тому

    I’m on my seventh trip through binge-watching this playlist, and each one is a treasure (not to mention an instant mood booster when the writing process gets too frustrating). Both the content and delivery are absolutely top notch.
    And this episode, imo, is one of your best. Thank you for all the work you put into this channel.
    PS - I hope the sponsors from the Sponsorship Wars are paying you extra for the hilarious serial. My first trip through this playlist, I FF’d through the sponsorship like I always do. Then one day I found myself watching part of one, and after I stopped laughing, I went back and started the entire playlist over again, just so I could watch the Sponsorship Wars from the beginning. This is something I have never done before (where marketing and advertising is concerned, I’ve made a career out of playing “Hide & Stay Hidden”. I’ll do everything up to and including removing my headphones and closing my eyes during the unavoidable YT ads, because I’d rather miss a few moments of the video than be exposed to an ad. Your decision to turn the marketing segment into a hilarious miniseries was a stroke of pure genius on your part, and I hope these sponsors are paying you extra for getting eyes like mine on their products.)

  • @Rainbowthewindsage
    @Rainbowthewindsage 5 років тому +33

    2:35. Lol. I legitimately have three first names as does most of my family because our last name is a first name. It's actually really annoying because someone will ask for my last name and I'll tell them and they'll be like no your last name. Especially since it's a male name and I'm female.
    Also can you do one of villain protagonists?

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire 5 років тому

      I have three first names also, but my surname is pretty obviously a surname, even if people get it wrong all the time :P

    • @Rainbowthewindsage
      @Rainbowthewindsage 4 роки тому

      @The Jester - Fool Of Hearts Never been called sir over the phone, but most of thr calls I get are people who know me, robocalls, and people who speak spanish trying to get ahold of the last person who had my number.

    • @Rainbowthewindsage
      @Rainbowthewindsage 4 роки тому

      @The Jester - Fool Of Hearts Yeah. I don't know who had the phone before me, but apparently they they have a car ticket in West Florida that whoever was trying to text them was outraged about them getting. I've never been to Florida.

  • @dylancarroll4623
    @dylancarroll4623 5 років тому +9

    4:33 that’s not the glamorous life of a writer. Firstly where’s the empty alcohol and pill bottle and there isn’t even questionable white powder on, well...EVERYTHING!

  • @wizofwonders
    @wizofwonders 5 років тому +18

    Could you please make a terrible writing advice on time travel?

    • @andrewgwilliam4831
      @andrewgwilliam4831 5 років тому +6

      He already did. (Commenting from the future.)

    • @wizofwonders
      @wizofwonders 5 років тому

      Andrew Gwilliam then why can’t I find it?

    • @andrewgwilliam4831
      @andrewgwilliam4831 5 років тому +2

      @@wizofwonders Because you're not in the future. 😀

  • @DinoRicky
    @DinoRicky 10 місяців тому +1

    0:01 all the villains just fighting over sponsorships all the time is so funny to me

  • @justin764
    @justin764 5 років тому +6

    0:57 I will tell you who you can trust, the Chinese royalty! They’re not only royalty, but also is actually emperors!

  • @AlgaeNymph
    @AlgaeNymph 5 років тому +2

    7:41-7:49 - D&D, who kind of forgot that Dany's army got massacred by zombies and terrible battle formation.

  • @calvinclark9478
    @calvinclark9478 5 років тому +3

    I can just hear the years of being scammed in his voice. Wish you and other writers luck with your journeys.

  • @artofthepossible7329
    @artofthepossible7329 5 років тому +42

    Easy way to tell a scam, does it complement you? If the answer is yes then it's a scam.

  • @SamanthaBartonYAY
    @SamanthaBartonYAY 5 років тому +4

    only channel where i actually watch the sponsors

  • @Ahalaya
    @Ahalaya 5 років тому +1

    This was the perfect video to come out right before I go to the local writers group for the first time. A TWA bingewatch is sure to help build up my confidence.

  • @evennot
    @evennot 5 років тому +3

    Worst thing for me was that I carefully crafter sarcastic emails to scammers finding out it was just automated spam with no real human behind to take my deadly irony

  • @DeadpoolAli
    @DeadpoolAli 5 років тому +2

    Is there a playlist of just the evil Corp ads. Best ads on UA-cam ever!

  • @TheCheck999
    @TheCheck999 5 років тому +45

    'A writer must pay for the privilege of writing for a publisher'. This is actually how scientific publishing works!!!!

  • @Jake-kt7ws
    @Jake-kt7ws 5 років тому

    The thing I love about this channel is that it actually is good advice. It tells me exactly what not to do and when I'm writing I like to look at this and see if I can find any similarities in my own work.

  • @AegixDrakan
    @AegixDrakan 5 років тому +5

    Why do I get the feeling at least one of the emails shown here is one that a scammer actually sent JP? XD
    Also, that punchline at the very very end. So good.

  • @abrvalg321
    @abrvalg321 5 років тому +18

    1:25 that's a close transliteration of "not a scam". But correct version would look like "нотэскэм".

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 5 років тому +2

      So THAT'S what that other guy was grousing about... Thanks! ;o)

  • @Spencer481
    @Spencer481 5 років тому +9

    2:34 "their website is full of grammatical errors" well duh, obviously that's why they're looking for a writer!

  • @Dragonofallgames
    @Dragonofallgames 5 років тому

    You know, the Terrible writing advice expanded universe is the only in video ad I watch on UA-cam because I love what he is doing with them

  • @shaunroberts2037
    @shaunroberts2037 5 років тому +74

    Is there something you'd like to tell us mr Terrible Writing Advice?

  • @JamesTullos
    @JamesTullos 5 років тому +1

    This feels... personal.

  • @delathenleso5793
    @delathenleso5793 5 років тому +29

    Okay that Donner Party joke got me to snort. Well done!

  • @башарал
    @башарал 3 роки тому +6

    1:25 "нотасцам" is notasam phonetically

  • @ChaosRayZero
    @ChaosRayZero 5 років тому +5

    4:45 _Putting _*_Darwin Awards_*_ on your books, LOL!_ X^D
    Does that mean it was published posthumously?

  • @Lukusprime
    @Lukusprime 3 роки тому +1

    Fun fact: I heard somewhere that scammers actually use bad grammar and misspelling on purpose, because if someone is naive and dumb enough to not notice the bad grammar, then their likely not going to notice the discrepancies and red flags that they’re being scammed either until it’s too late

  • @chimpzchimpington2006
    @chimpzchimpington2006 Рік тому +4

    0:17 No way. Emplemon cameo

  • @lebverderben
    @lebverderben 5 років тому +1

    I got a call from a publisher about 5 hours after I submitted the manuscript for my first book. In my excitement, it didn't dawn on me until later that they hadn't read my work. One of the first questions that their rep asked was, "Is it fiction or nonfiction?" Needless to say, I went with another company.

  • @brianna7705
    @brianna7705 5 років тому +8

    The aura of this video is a stark contrast to the usual carefree sarcasm your other videos have. You okay, Joseph?

  • @dalronprime8531
    @dalronprime8531 5 років тому +1

    Your so right. My dream is not so grandiose as to get scamed by fake publishers. No my dream is to actually finish my book then never get published.

  • @ennuiwolf
    @ennuiwolf 5 років тому +4

    I love how the sponsor segment is a universe in itself.
    In an unrelated note, I can't seem to buy your book, J.P. Has it stopped printing?

  • @ChaosRayZero
    @ChaosRayZero 5 років тому +2

    1:15 reminds me of an e-mail someone I know once got that was so hilarious, I asked him to take a screenshot:
    *"Speak Spanish in 10 days? Follow this 1 weird tip to speak fluent any language"*
    I can only imagine that tip being something along the lines of, "lower your standards of 'fluency " X^D

  • @MG-dg2ys
    @MG-dg2ys 5 років тому +4

    Great stuff as always, J.P.

  • @agiar2000
    @agiar2000 5 років тому +2

    Knight Commander McStabbypants? Did I miss an episode, or is this a preview of an exciting new character? I love the TWA cinematic universe!

  • @megaagentj2248
    @megaagentj2248 5 років тому +5

    you should write a fanfic with this amazing advice!

  • @L.J.McEachern
    @L.J.McEachern 5 років тому +1

    This video is forever liked and will be shared the next time I see an aspiring writer on some forum say, "Is this publishing company legit? "