JUST BEING WE with Kaycee Rice: eating disorders
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- Опубліковано 28 лют 2023
- welcome to “Just Being WE”
with kaycee rice
episode 8: eating disorders
season finale. 8 weeks. we made it.
today, i’m opening up the most vulnerable side to myself and sharing my story of how i struggled with an eating disorder when i was 16. this was something that i needed to do on my own time, on my own terms, and when i was ready.
recovery isn’t linear and it is far from easy and perfect. i still struggle to this day with body dysmorphia, anxiety, stress, and how i feel. the mindset i am trying to have now, that i didn’t have for years or struggled to understand is:
you have to love your body in every stage it’s in. you are not going to look the same every day and you are meant to be where you are today. focusing on the insecurities that i have for myself always lead me down a rabbit hole of negativity. i’m learning to find strength in the obstacles that have chosen to block my life path.
i am wanting to take back my narrative of life. for so many years i lost who i was and it hurts to watch my younger self hurt so much when no one knew what i was going through. eating disorders aren’t something that go away easily and in a sense, it always sticks with you. but i’m embracing the highs and lows and trying to live presently each day.
if you or anyone you know may be struggling with an eating disorder or any other type of mental health struggles, big or small, know that i know what it’s like and so many others do too. you are strong. you are beautiful. you are enough.
talking about it is not easy, but it gets easier when you know you are not alone.
thank you to everyone who has listened to any or all episodes of this “podcast” and being there to listen to the human me. this has opened my eyes to the opportunities of starting a conversation and being there for one another.
just being WE has been quite the journey. let’s see how this year goes and where we will be.
q: what is "Just Being WE" ?
this is a podcast, but not really a podcast.
let me explain.
it’s more about capturing a conversation and allowing a safe space for others to feel comfortable and seen. this season, in our 8 episodes, we are going to be talking about topics such as mental health, stress, anxiety and also I (kaycee) am going to be sharing my story and the things that I have dealt with as I’ve been growing up through this crazy thing we call life.
I hope that this can open up more conversations and can be a positive light to whoever may be listening. know that you are never alone in what you may be going through and we are here to share, listen, and see you for you. this podcast is a look into my life journal and just like it- it’s imperfect.
just keep being you, as we are
Just Being WE.
new episodes every wednesday at 8am PST
FOR MORE RESOURCES:::
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Call/Text 988 or Text TALK to 741741
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Eating Disorders
(800) 931-2237
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x Kaycee - Розваги
I love you so much.
After watching Kaycee's episode, I now appreciate more and more what Sean has done for her with Sean Lew approved. I think he helped her viewing food as an opportunity of staying together, sharing and companionship. Hope you guys are doing well, love and light to you!
"I lost who I was, but I was still trying to be who I was for other people." I teared up at this. So real for anyone who's struggled with an ED. We struggled so hard to maintain that facade for everyone else, to look "put together", but really on the inside we were broken to a million pieces. So proud of you to share your stories with the world, and I just want anyone who's struggled/struggling with any form of ED to know that there *is* hope at the end of the tunnel, that life *does* get better once you get through it.
My love!!!! I am so proud of you and I admire your bravery so much! You are a beautiful person and I’m so honored to be one of your mentors and friends. ❤
@@specialK3903 why do you think she is lying? She did actually drastically lose weight around 2019/2020... You can literally see it
Thank you so much for being honest, telling your story, and helping people along the way. You're so important. I'm gonna miss this podcast so much.
I cried watching this because I’ve been struggling with disordered eating and it hurts. I often feel alone and ashamed of myself. Thank you for sharing your story because I felt cared for and was reminded that I am not alone. Thank you so much for everything you do and you being you so we could be WE.
You're so brave to talk about this! You make everyone feeling better. But please never loose yourself again, you're so precious!
Edit: Of course it made me very sad, I felt your pain! But even when you talk about your tough times, you have this positivity around you.. I don't know how to explain because my language isn't english
Thank u for taking the effort and time to talk about this and to do your podcast in general it is not only super brave put yourself out there but also the fact that you are doing it for your own good and to let other people know that there not alone, beyond thankful and proud of you kayc, thank u💕
I’ve been following you for almost 5 years now and I just want to say I’m so proud of you and thankful that you’re so open with everything about mental health because it has helped me so much and I can’t wait to see you evolve more as a person ❤️
I am so damn proud of you. And I'm thankful you exist. This will help so many people, Kaycee. (I cried half of the episode, but what you shared is so important). I really hope people will listen and take the great pieces of advice you shared here ❤
I’m so endlessly proud of you and that doesn’t even come close to it. Thank you for being so open about your journey and sharing your voice -your impact is boundless💜
Quickly popping on here to thank you and tell you how much I admire you for having the courage to open up and tell your story. You’ve created a beautiful safe place and I’m sure it has already helped a lot of people (including you, I hope). Sending love 🤍
I think it's wonderful that you're in a place that you can share your story with others and I hope that this helps other people with any and everything they're going through. Much love ❤️
so incredibly proud of you kayc! the fact that you choose to share your journey with us, from the most beautiful to the most difficult and vulnerable parts means the absolute world not only to me but to thousands of people as well! your bravery is simply admirable and we love you so much!!! you're doing amazing and thank you sooo much for this podcast, it has helped me (and many others) in indescribable ways
These 8 episodes have simply been phenomenal. Thank you for having the presence to create this series and share your struggles with the world, which is now better because of this!
this video is so powerful and you are so brave to be able to share this, i love the story and how you've come through, anyone would be so honored and touched to hear it from you. You do make a lot of difference in the world even though you are just 20. You have a kind, beautiful heart and should be loved!!!! I love you!!!!
I finally had time to sit down and really listen to this episode. I admire you so much for being able to share your story, it probably wasn’t easy but I’m sure it will inspire and help many people so thank you for your vulnerability.
I also wanted to tell you that I’m so happy for you that you are in a place where you feel like yourself again. I deeply relate to that because I’ve struggled with my mental health for a while and recently have been feeling like I’ve found myself again and it feels so good! There are still days when i struggle and I’m continuously learning to be patient and give myself grace but during those days seeing people like you who are slowly recovering and speak openly about their struggles gives me hope. Again thank you for being so open and being a light that I can look to when life is hard 🤍
so proud of you kayc. i cried at the end i tried staying strong i really did! but this podcast definitely helped me connect with myself on so many things and i can not wait to see what more you do. you truly are changing the world.
Thanks for sharing your story Kaycee. It takes a lot of strength tell a story like this to even close friends and you did it to the world! I wish you the best of luck.
Damn Kaycee! I appreciate you sooo much for sharing this. It's crazy how similar my story is to yours. We even went through it around the same time.
I was deep in my ED for two years and it was the most horrible time in my life. The disorder found its way into every corner of my life and messed everything up. So I know exactly how you feel and I know that recovering from it is the most difficult thing to do. It's mentally, emotionally and physically agonising to recover so I'm so proud of you for getting through that. And I'm so proud of you for telling your story because it really does make a difference to know we're not alone.
As a dancer myself, you have always been one of my biggest inspirations but now I admire you even more.
Thank you Kaycee. You are truly a light to the world and I really hope you will make more of these episodes in the future 🤍✨💕🌠
Kaycee! So proud of you and how far you've come! Overcoming this obstacle in your life is a big deal and look what amazing things it has brought you! You are a ray of sunshine, and i hope you keep inspiring people to overcome their battles and succeed! Love you lots💜
Kaycee, thank you so much for this podcast, I’ve not only resonated with most of the episodes but I’ve also learned so much.. I really hope you know how unique and special you are and what you created is! Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!
The fact that she posted this video is so courageous and I love it. This video touched me so much and it made me think to way back when I used to compare myself to Kaycee and always saying “oh she’s so lucky to be skinny”… for my whole entire life even rn I’ve been overweight and obese and I would always compare myself to ppl who aren’t especially because everyone all of my dance partners are and always were skinny and I always needed the biggest size of costumes and my pants while dancing were sometimes ripped and I just hated it so much, but now that I look back to when I would compare myself to her new me would say “yeah she was and is skinny, but she wasn’t healthy, and health is all that matters.” Im so happy that you’re recovering, I’m recovering too and I’m so glad to know that someone I’ve always look up to has the same day to day problems as me even if these problems are horrible and I don’t wish them on my worst enemy. I hope that you, me, us, we, would all get better and recover as much as humanly possible from these disorders because they’re not fun whatsoever.❤
Long story short on how I started my binge eating disorder: when I was little I always liked food and chocolate and stuff like that, back then I was chubby and I was okay with it. At 11 y/o I had an online experience with a pedophile and I got attached (being a little girl with no male attention while everyone got a lot of it) long story short it lasted a couple of months and it felt like an abusive relationship but we were never in a relationship. Anws After I was able to get out of that situation I healed all alone, no one knew except my 2 very close friends, and during and after healing I started hating my body because he only made sexual remarks about my body, and I think that’s when it truly got worse. I developed and eating disorder called binge eating and luckily for me I’m getting treated and help for it, it hasn’t been that long since I started but I’m already feeling better and I dropped 3kgs. Still have a lot to go but I’m not looking at what the scale tells me because all that matters is that I’m healthy and I feel good abt myself and don’t feel disgusted when I look in the mirror.
Everyone who’s dealing with this or has dealt with this I hope you recover from something that’s unhealthy for our mental and physical health and I hope you get better ❤️🩹❤
I am so proud of you Kaycee. I can see this was not at easy thing to talk on let alone have to experience and live through. You’re the definition of inspiring. Thanks for making and sharing this podcast with us, thanks to all of your incredibly inspiration of guests too! I hate to see you in pain. I hope recording this episode and sharing it with us lifts a weight off your chest. 💕
Oh KC! I’m so proud of you! You’ve been so instrumental in my life (which you already know!) and I’ll say it until the day I die, I’m forever grateful for you and your momma. I love you. You’re absolutely not alone. Probably one of the strongest humans I’ve ever met in fact. ❤ love you!
You shared this so beautifully and eloquently. Especially since it’s such a hard thing to talk about but such an important topic. There will be so many young people that look up to you that will probably relate to all of this and you speaking about it will give them strength and maybe change their lives.
The part about the comment on your savage video was heartbreaking. It’s crazy that people can think they have the right to judge anyone’s body never mind a teenager.
you're right kaycee it's okay to be okay, you're definitely not alone. I was holding in my tears with you this entire video. And I've been trying my best to come up with a way to say we love every stage/era of you simply because it's you. And I'm so happy that you said it. 💙
You did a wonderful job with this podcast series. A lot of things were difficult to put out there with you and with your close friends, but you did something that is quite important. Talking out these problems is one of the most important first steps to begin the process of getting better. I give you a lot of props for putting yourself out there because it is not really easy. Peoples feelings and emotions are not things we should toy with. Again , really proud of you for putting yourself out there. You are actually helping others with the topics you have talked about. Perhaps this podcast will continue if you are up to it? If not, it was very informative, eye opening, and emotional. I for one am very proud of you. Shutting out people is easy, bringing them closer to you and open with them is hard. Wishing you the best on your continued journey of betterment and fulfillment. Even though you never met many of us in person, we care about you and have your back. Best Wishes Kaycee! 🙏🙏❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing this Kaycee. You are so talented and bright and these words resonate with me so deeply. Sharing this made me feel seen & heard and it’s a joy to see you share your light with the world. ❤
Btw, as your mom said, you really do have a way with words. This video was so honest and articulate. And please, never forget how important, brave, strong and beautiful you are. Will always root for you ❤
I'm struggling with a lot right now, too much to talk about here but I just wanted to say that you are such a beautiful and brave person and I didn't know how much i really needed to hear this today. So thank you Kaycee 💕💕💕
Watching back the videos in 2019 and seeing this video just makes my heart ache:(
Your transparency and honesty is enlightening. You’re so strong and such an inspiration. Thank you 💕
So, I am much older than you and didn't necessaraly go through the exact same thing. But you are so relatable both to me at your age and now. So proud of you for sharing and I'm sure it will help someone who needs it. Its really hard to put yourself out there like this, I'm sure. Love you 💛
This was beautiful. You are a light in this world and always will be. I am so glad you came out on the other side of this. You are beautiful you are loved just the way you are ❤
You absolutely amazing. Be proud of who you are. WE are… You have grown as a person from a young girl to an amazing young woman. There’s only one constant in life and that is change. Embrace it and flow with it. You ARE an amazing person and role model for so many. ❤
Kaycee, I don't think words are enough to express this... Thank you❤Like a genuine thank you❤ From a heart that truly appreciates what you are doing. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for letting so many people feel like they are not alone in this journey. You cannot imagine how much it opens my eyes to know about your experience and to understand what you went through. You are so brave to do that. Again, thank you❤
Thank you for sharing Kaycee. I said it before I think the biggest take away from these podcasts and definately this one is that this allows others to know that they can realte and connect and feel they are not alone in whatever situation they may find themselves. Thank you we all appreciate you for it as it is not an easy thing to bare yourself so openely and publicly. I am happy that you are in a better space now then you were before. Thanks again for just being you. 🙏
Don't usually comment on anything. But wanted to say that this video contains so many important messages! It truly will help so many people potentially going through the same! - long time fan
Thank you for sharing your story. You are helping so many people who are going through this. Also having a great support by your family and close friends. Have a Blessed day Kaycee, love you.
You are helping me, Kaycee, thank you so much. I feel so seen and less alone. I will be keeping you in my mind and hope the absolute best for you❤
So Japan has four seasons in a year. I used to always miss summer when it's cold and miss winter when it's hot. And I finally realized I could enjoy summer and winter only if I was being present.
We always want what you don't have. In fact I used to compare myself to YOU 5-6ys ago. I wished I'd had a look like you.
At that time I was struggling with my identity issues and I found out all the problems were related to that I couldn't love myself.
Now I know it's so much fun to enjoy my body while I'm in this body although it's not so flexible as yours.
Kaycee you're very brave and strong to share this episode. I love you. Don't forget that your fans can support you even when your inner light get small.
I like too much this type of video from Kaycee, just an incredible moment.
wow i cannot even describe how difficult this topic was to talk about and your own experience of it. i am in awe of how strong and wise you have become over the past years, so beyond proud of you for talking about not only this topic but covering so many more unseen topics the past 8 weeks. thank you kaycee for being so open and real throughout this podcast journey, it takes an unimaginative level of maturity and acceptance that i haven’t even received yet to be able to express yourself in such a vulnerable way. which is one of the many reasons i admire you for your strength and commitment to always be there for others when they are in need of it. this episode really raised the self-consciousness for me and making me feel accepted and worthy of myself and i am going to not look back as much because of this. again, thank you so so much kaycee for your heartfelt words and guidance you have given me and many other individuals that are struggling, it means so much to all of us and we are forever grateful towards you as you have impacted our lives with so much grace, kindness, strength and love. especially with you continuing to do so everyday. you’re our shining light and we love and appreciate everything that you do! keep shining! lots of lovee🫶🌟
As you said my personality changes every year and it’s a good thing, so why can’t my body do the same ? Thank you so much for bringing this point of view to me! It’s really helpful. Overall your podcasts are so helpful and just a safe zone that I can come to anytime. Thank you so much Kaycee, you have no idea how much your words can help. Muuuch love ❤️❤️
Kaycee you are so strong and brave for sharing your story. Thank you ❤️ This will reach people and help, I know it. I wish you all the best on your recovery journey ❤️.
Loved hearing your story Kaycee. I'm in the same boat, and have been since I was around 16 (I just turned 24 last week). It's super tough! But you're such an inspiration
Thank you so much for sharing your story Kaycee. You are truly so beautiful inside and out and your love, courage and strength will help so many ❤
thank you kaycee for sharing your story. that's so brave of you. lots of love
thank you for sharing this. I used to work at the front desk of a dance studio you guested at in chicago called Visceral in the beginning of April 2019 and I was inspired to dance because I loved your dancing, so I was super excited that you came (I didn't even know until like an hour before you walked in, which is so cool how life works) you were super cute and sweet, but I didn't mention knowing you or anything because I know that can be weird and you were so young and obviously focused on your choreos you were gonna teach, plus I'm not the type of person to ask for a picture or treat someone different
I just remember that hours went by, you taught several classes and were in the studio all day. At night when you were leaving I was talking to your mom like "You guys are probably starving" and she said you were gonna go eat dinner, but I just remember wondered and hoped you had snacks with you during the day.
I went through something similar at 16, and the way you're committed to recovery and to being happy and healthy is something to be super proud of. Yes body dysmorphia and ED's can live with you long term, but getting to a mindset that you WANT to recover is something some people never get to. Also be proud of yourself because you have been strong enough to get so far in only 2 years despite at least 2 major hurtles: one is a public social media presence (for ex, I don't even use my real name on this account, let alone have a social media presence, its extremely mentally taxing), and two is be involved in a super body-centric sport. No one really discusses the detriment of the mirrors, and the filming, and the consistent body feedback that dance entails. I've known so many dancers who have and are still struggling.
You have always been and always will be so stunning.
Kaycee I love you. You're so strong. You are a beautiful brave woman. I'm struggling with anxiety attacks nowadays and your podcast has helped me. Thankyou
Awesome video! Glad you recorded and uploaded this and just spoke your mind about your struggles. Much respect, love and best wishes from India!
You are so brave for sharing Kaycee. You are so inspirational and it's been such a pleasure watching you grow over the years. You are never alone.
Kaycee, thank You so mich for the amont of help and love that You spread. You are not only brave, but also a strong woman and never forget that.
I'm a senior. Your words make sense. There are many people who experience the same feelings, thoughts and experiences as others. And age makes a difference. Your growing, your learning and you are giving. That is so helpful !! 💞💞
Your body, your health is the most important thing you have. It's your vehicle for life. Enjoy it, be kind to it, be proud of it always because it will forever change especially as a woman and that is ok. I think we all go through self doubt at times and worry but it is so important to stay strong and seek help when you need it. Kaycee you are very strong and brave and inspiring. Definitely keep being you because you are beautiful on the inside and out and spread happiness wherever you go. Thank you for these podcasts they were insightful.
Kaycee thank you so much for being honest and i Will always love you and support you ❤️❤️
You are the best, seriously!!!! What an absolute queen❤❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing. I relate a lot, I struggled with very similar things although in the context of a different sport. I just want to share some hope and say that while it's true that it never fully goes away, it can also get better than you ever thought possible. I was at a restaurant recently (used to be a huge fear situation for me) and only realized after I ordered that I hadn't even thought about calorie content or whether the meal would contain any of my former fear foods. It hadn't even crossed my mind! If I told my five-years-ago self that I had done that, she would have laughed in my face and told me no future timeline had that in store for her. I still have days where those thoughts creep in, but it's so much easier to push them aside now. The issue may never fully end, but then the progress and improvement never ends either. The progress won't always be linear, but that doesn't mean it's not still progress. "Things aren't perfect" = "Things can get better". May things continue to get better for you, your resilience is such a light.
Kaycee, just accept you're loved, just as you are! ❤️
thank you for sharing your story kaycee ❤️
I am so incredibly proud of you. I’ve been following you online consistently for 5 years now and seeing your growth is amazing. Your body is your temple, your castle and no matter it’s size - it’s made perfectly for you. You’re a beautiful young woman inside and out and I am so happy to see you’re happy. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
Also - fuck those people who talk negatively about your body!!!!! (Excuse the language 😉)
Love you kayc, I’m proud of you 💗
i love so much, you re so brave. thank you for being
Thank God for your family paying attention and stepping in. I'm glad you're doing better now. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your struggling time of life! 💗
Thank you for this episode Kaycee! You are brilliant. I went through Eating Disorder, and I also didn't like therapy, but I discovered that it's about finding the right therapist to share. Try to look for someone who you like to share everything with. Thank you so much, you are stronger than you think
❤️❤️❤️ you are beautiful inside and out kaycee. thank you for this
Thanks for sharing your personal journey. So many people suffer from eating disorders. You explain it really well, especially the feeliing of having one aspect of your life you can control. I could see you losing weight and I was worried for you. Now I understand your struggle. This is such a powerful testament that I know will help others in that situation. Your honesty and courage to share your story speaks to your character. I'm always inspired by your work. Wishing you good health.
Thanks for being open and honest
So proud of you Kaycee, you are so brave ❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story Kaycee. ❤️
I'd miss this,and i'm dang sad coz next time I wouldn't get to know more about you, ur life experience u express through ur podcasts, to be honest these videos make us feel that u're so closest to us,u're jst talking to us offscreen, all the facts seem to be relateable and experienced.....u're such a considerate human being I've ever seen.......I'm your greatest fan 🤍🤍💕u're enthralling I've never seen such vulnerable person i'd love to conclude that this podcast has been an emotion for all of us
The black background and the white foreground and white dressed Kaycee exactly picture out how an eating disorder feels like. Thank you Kaycee ❤
"Hey Kaycee, I'm personally moved by your story. I have an allergy to milk that makes me eat healthily and avoid dairy products. I'm almost 100% adapted at this point, but when I started in 2016, it was just hard. When you spoke about losing control and going from a healthy start to an extremely restricted way of eating, it hit home for me. Your speech about what you have been through is truly inspiring. You are such an inspirational person and a strong character, keep it up!. Much love from Brazil. ❤
Hi Kaycee! I’m really so so so proud of you for sharing your story. I admire your bravery, vulnerability and authenticity. Never let life change that! I sent you an email and shared with you my life as well. I was hoping you’d read it.
Thank you for sharing your story, you are brave!
thank you so much for sharing!!!!! you are helping other people!!!
Кэйси, спасибо, за то что поделилась своими трудным временами. Ведь мне это видео попалась именно сейчас, когда я переживаю из-за каждой мелочи, из-за своих способностях, из-за своего тела, из-за общественного мнения. Кто я такая? я незнаю.. Но я точно знаю, что мне нравится. И как ты говорила "Давайте жить настоящим" только сейчас я додумалась об этом. Ведь думала или о прошлом или о будущем, но совсем забывала прошлое. Я также не думала, что твоя история поможет моим переживаниям о жизни.
Спасибо, что поделилась историей, ты помогла мне, которая не могла найти контроль над собой и над эмоциями тоже.
Я люблю тебя такой какая ты есть, оставайся собой, такой же прекрасной и чудесной девушкой!!
Thank you so much kaycee
You're beautiful inside and out Kaycee and so inspiring ❤ thank you for sharing xx 😘
Proud of you Kaycee!!! ❤
Im going to take a gap year to fully focus on recovery, thank you so much for this video, really really helpful
For many of us, the loudest negative voice in our lives comes from the person who looks back at us in the mirror. Whatever that person believes (true or false) is reality. That person has grace for everybody except oneself. But please believe this. You/we are not alone. The battle within is the typical human experience. So let's not waste the pain. Make it your mission that someone will benefit from it. Just like Kaycee is doing with these videos as she continues her walk with help through the fires of life.
Stay strong. Continue to build the self awareness, independence, and self esteem that you’ve been working on. You give away so much of yourself in your dancing and videos. That is why you’ve gotten so many fans. But do know we do you to do what is best for you.
Wow that is so brave !!! Big big love for you
You are incredibly valuable Kaycee Rice. You are some of God’s most beautiful work❤️
This is a good reminder to be kind to everyone. You never know what other people might be going through. ♥️
I feel the need to protect you with all my soul.
OMG Kaycee 👏❤ Thank You 🙏❤ I totally know and feel what you were talking about! Happened to me too! Every word you said touched me and touched my heart! ❤ I have no words now, because feelings, thoughts came back and I cried 😪 but yes, this is with us every day and we fight with it 💪🔥 Family is very important, those who help 🙏 and ourselves 🙏💪 Kaycee 👏👏👏🙏💪❤ I feel you and I am with you, persevere Girl 😉🙏💪🔥❤ Thank you so much Kaycee for this video 🙏🙏🙏😘❤🤗 Thank you for your honesty and your story 🙏❤🙏❤
“It doesn’t ever leave you.” Totally agree. But we live with it.
so proud of you❤️
kaycee you are an angel and we love youuuuuuuu! wish i could give you a big cuddle rn
Kaycee. Ever since I started following u years ago, u have been one of my biggest inspirations. Whether that was your dancing, your fashion, your passions, u as a person and what u believe in, I have always felt so deeply connected to u And always felt we have a lot of similarities and outlooks. And then u open up abt this and that connection is so much greater and when I thought I couldn’t look up to u any more than I do, it happened. I myself have struggled with an eating disorder (and anxiety) for a while, it started back in 2017. These past years have been the toughest years of my life, and just like u said, it made me feel so alone to be struggling with this. I hid away from people I loved because I felt like a burden, it was much easier to do than to be vulnerable and open up. So I just want to say that it’s the bravest thing to do, and I appreciate and am so beyond proud of u for not only opening up to your loved ones but also us your followers. U doing it makes me want to do it. Seeing your growth is the most beautiful thing, u are the most incredible person and even though I don’t know u personally (it would be a dream to meet u one day though), I can still tell. U sharing these vulnerabilities and being yourself is honestly the most inspiring thing u can do and I believe is saving lives. Kaycee, u have saved me. U have saved me from myself so many times over these past 6 years. I have danced all my life and watching u dance has helped keep my love for dance in my life, when at times my eating disorder consumed my head, I would watch u dance and feel that passion again, feel something that wasn’t fear and depression. I can’t thank u enough for everything u have done for me. I am so beyond proud of u and lucky to have witnessed such a vulnerable but also beautiful moment. I hope some day I can be as amazing as u. Keep shining like the bright star u are kaycee, I love u so much ❤️
I wish you'd continue doing podcasts that aren't podcasts..I really enjoy your unique perspective on life just general. You know. Keep your head up kid
So brave Kaycee.
Thank you. I do respect you. Your words are really helpful. In my opinion, you are a really beautiful woman.
thank you.
i remember that comment in 2020 and it broke my heart
im sorry what comment? i saw another video with sean lew explaining smth kinda sadly but i dont get the whole situation please explain??
It was the savage video :(
I haven't really kept up with you since I wish big in the fandom back in 2019, but finding this video right now feels almost like some odd meant to be lowkey even if I hate saying that. I'm not completely sure when I found you because it's all a blur at this point but I know that when I was in the fandom was a low point in my own ed. As much as I hate how I acted at that age and have a lot of regrets about how I acted within the fandom community (nothing too bad I was just 13 and didn't fully understand social cues or boundaries) I can admit that it may have helped with my mental health a little bit. I had someone to look up to and I had a sense of community. Falling into my disorder was definitely way different from yours, I think there was a level of just wanting to be healthier but once I knew what eating disorders were I instantly went that way because I was already in a really bad place mentally. Looking back there were a lot of different reasons it developed. I don't entirely remember what led me to recovery but I believe I started closer to the end of being in the fandom but still in the fandom. I denied having a disorder because I didn't feel bad enough and honestly managed to convince myself that it wasn't as bad as I thought. Looking back at things I wrote from that time recently was actually when I realized how bad it got back then. I don't remember a lot about recovery either to be completely honest, it was hard and there were times I wouldn't be able to bring myself to eat or would really struggle. Over time it did start to get better. Having a place I felt like I could be a little more myself and your message honestly would have helped me at the time. I remember seeing the concerned posts and feeling really weird about it with someone who was struggling, it was kind of a little drama lol.
Earlier this year I started slipping into old habits. Some things triggered me but I was willing to try and push through because I knew I didn't want to go through restriction again. Then a lot of things that really messed with me mentally happened. I felt like I had lost control and didn't want to be alone in my mind. I ended up relapsing. It gave me a sense of control and distracted me from all that I didn't want to think about. I didn't even really fight it at first because I was just done and wanted a coping mechanism. Then things in my life started to get better, but the disorder stayed. I couldn't properly focus on school because I was focused on the disorder and how much exercise I could do. I couldn't enjoy group activities because I was too worried about food. I couldn't enjoy my time with friends because I was preoccupied with my ed again. I couldn't enjoy traveling because I was too focused on my disorder. I also think I just generally felt hopeless because I relapsed so far into recovery and I'd had weeks where I may struggle more or things like that but this was just a different situation entirely. because there was no denying it was a relapse. I'm back in the early stages of recovery again. I don't want to be stuck in this. (and that's why I felt like finding this video was oddly timed even if it's 4 months old lol). I'm definitely struggling with food right now. today I went out to eat and was terrified to eat the meal I ordered and started panicking, but I pushed through and I ate it and it was really good. While I feel a bit guilty I can also recognize that I am proud of myself for pushing through and being able to eat it. Seeing this kind of just reminded me why I'm trying to get better and that I'm not alone I guess. I'm working my way through what you phrased as 'trying to fight myself for my own control' but I'm really hoping all goes well because I don't want to push away everything I have left because of a few things I lost. Also that wording honestly perfectly describes how it feels (at least in my experience) recovering. It's two sides of your brain just fighting for control and it can definitely feel stressful and isolating. It definitely is nice to know you are not alone.