"i worked around it for 10 years and then realized I didn't have to and could just take it out" Alayna's tongue ring is a metaphor for her comp het lol
my thoughts exactly lmao especially cuz she was with a man for many of those years! jk that's just a coincidental plus to the metaphor but still, since i know from men's words myself that penis-owners DO like it, it is a pretty good comparison
I’m a feminine lesbian and I’ve always been told “you don’t look like a lesbian”. So, when I saw the most beautiful woman walk into this party I was at, I approached her. Granted this was after having some drinks and my confidence peaked. Totally thought I was out of her league. Now, she’s my wife 😊 together for 8 years and married for 3.
@@bastetowl3258 that’s not true at all, I know plenty of bi women that present as more masc and plenty that present as more femme. It’s not dedicated to one sexuality.
On the subject of Twilight having no-premarital-sex-except-it's-vampires, the author is literally a mormon and has lots of purity culture stuff in her book so Ashley was 100% right. They even additionally have the actual no-premarital-sex because Edward is "old fashioned" and "wants to do things right".
As someone who grew up extremely poor, I get Mak’s stance on it feeling wrong to spend money, even if you have it. It’s been a multi-year long process and I’m still figuring my own issues out but life is SO much better now that I’m learning how to actually spend money in a healthy way. Like Ashley said, there’s lot of equations and budgeting tools to help figure out what’s reasonable to spend. But budgeting joy for yourself is so so important too
Maks feelings are so relatable & im 28 & have struggled w poor & scacity mindset most of my life (I still have small fear based moments) but for the most part I’ve gotten over it & I don’t let fear /trauma rule me anymore!!! Life is NOW, and it’s trusting yourself & trusting that money is always there & always will be replaced & abundance is in MY control, & a lot hasn’t changed except for my mindset; it’s the trust in myself and love & value I put into myself & my time on earth.
and the way prices of everything are raising, i feel like i go into fight or flight every time i enter a store 😭😭 just thinking about how much this used to be, how many things i could’ve gotten before for the same amount,etc. just generally high anxiety and extreme guilt for spending basically any money
I had a tongue ring get stuck under my hood. Mind you I was SUPER drunk and the pain was STILL horrific. I screamed “stop!!! don’t move!!!” And luckily she listened instead of pulling away and we very carefully maneuvered her head to get it out. Sooo painful and I was done receiving for the night 😅
Femme here - I express my queerness through lots of colors, glitter, and drama in my outfits. Just being super extra in all the ways! It's sooo fun. And thank you for all the bi women praise!
I was in a relationship with a cishet guy who had a tongue ring and oral was absolutely horrible. The sad part is that back then I had no confidence and didn't even say anything, just basically winced and recoiled (cause it friggin hurt and was uncomfortable) but at no point did he ask about it either. Woof.
As a bisexual woman the last few minutes hit different, especially coming from three lesbian women considering I’ve noticed in the past a reluctance to date bisexual woman, because we experience attraction to both sexes. So thank you for that! Brilliant episode as always.
Wow tears just sprang out of my eyes upon hearing y’all validate bisexual and transgender people 💜 like of course everyone should see bisexual and transgender people as valid
Petition for the listeners to be called the Family Friends: we all have or will find our chosen families, and we all live on one big gay street together. Alternatively, the gay cousins
The whole conversation with Mak about moving felt like such a family conversation. I recently moved to somewhere much nicer, and although it's way more expensive, it's worth it. I wouldn't underestimate the impact that quality of life and having important experiences has on future income.
I have 40:33 to 41:12 on repeat because I really resinated with this episode and often feel like I have something to prove and that I'm not recognized as queer because of my bisexuality, and the fact that I've never dated anyone, and hearing you all collectively appreciate bisexual women(like myself) just made me feel so recognized and comfortable. this podcast is so important and so powerful, I would like to stay here forever please :)
Mak's situation is so relevant to me. My job is remote and let's me live anywhere in the US, so I just moved to a much higher cost of living area to be around my friends who accept me in all my queerness. And it hurts that in 2 or 3 years I could afford a nice house by my family and here it will be forever. But this podcast reminded me that I moved because I'm much happier around friends and people that accept me.
As someone coming out as a lesbian later in life at 29, this podcast means a lot to me as I step fully into my queerness.✨Also gotta love Ashley’s sweet smile at 6:40. ☺️
Maybe something that would help Mak would be a middle-ground? Maybe say, "I'm going to move out there by a certain date" but set a goal of how much to put into savings/investments by then. That way Mak can move out there and have the desired lifestyle and experiences but within a financial plan/space they feel comfortable with.
Guyyys, I’ve just recently came out as bi and although I don’t feel imposter síndrome, on the contrary, I feel more myself then ever! But I don’t have a lot of queer friends or physical community, and am kind of afraid of the Bi phobia and all that, and that little prize to bi femme woman just hit right in the feels 🥹 thank you so much for doing this podcast and being my chosen family 😁
Happy for u!!! I also tune into Ashley's other podcast and there is a "we're having gay sex" discord so it could be a good online queer community in the meantime. It often comes up ab how to find irl ppl and I think researching any possible queer activities in ur location (bars, etc)..and also just kinda going out and doing what you like to do you may run into like minded ppl and maybe some of them might also be queer. Also biphobia is a bitch but if it happens to come up take it as a sign to not fw whoever has those wrong views. Don't let fear/anxiety ab running into biphobia keep u from living ur best life in ur truth tho 🙏🏽
I love that you’re feeling comfortable and more yourself! Cis 47 year old gay dude here and still learning more every dang day… I love this channel and everyone involved, so fun and entertaining but also I learn so much from people who are comfortable in being themselves and open to being wrong and changing to improve for themselves and others… I’ve noticed a real trend since the pandemic of a lot of folks realizing the world doesn’t end when they choose to be authentic… it is scary and trolls are everywhere but most people respond positively to authenticity, in others and in themselves, and what is true today can authentically change tomorrow and it’s okay
Bi trans woman here and I love my chosen family! Thank you for the validation! I also dropped my tongue ring and have experienced the bliss of enhanced lingual game.
I am not much of a fan of listening to podcasts. But I consume this like crazy! I love it so much! The dynamics between the three of you, the subjects which you discuss and the way you approach them. With humor and at the same time sensibility and so much love and and care towards each other and us the coussies. I honestly do believe this podcast deserves an award. How can I help to make this happen? Sending love from Indonesia. (I'm Dutch though, don't want to be like an imposter of a queer Indonesian) , Mel
I've had double tongue piercings for 11 years, and have gotten mostly meh reviews from past partners. I think the idea of it is the most intriguing for potential partners. I might just take mine out after hearing Alayna's pov. Looking at other comments I also never stopped to think that maybe it wasn't pleasant and people were just not confident enough to tell me so. 💜 Much love to you all!!
I mean to be fair it’s really rude/uncomfortable socially to tell another person what to do with their body. Your body your choice. So I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe it was unpleasant but never expressed. I personally wouldn’t even allow it down there & I really don’t like oral piercings even for kissing (I’ve tried that & that was enough )
Love this. Without getting sappy, the queer imposter sydrome ended for me when I stopped trying to inhabit identities which would "make me gay enough" but felt wrong (e.g.: not true to who I really was, and thus causing this loop of "why am I not gay enough to make this work???") and returned home to my own identity which was Gay Enough all along.
Mak talking about her aesthetic attraction to a dude makes me feel so much better, like okay, I'm not the only one. I've heard people frame aesthetic attraction as "look at this landscape painting, you might like it but you don't want to have sex with it", which is TOTALLY not an accurate description of the kind of attraction I have towards certain men. Like, I definitely don't like the way they look in the same way I might light a landscape lol. But have sex with them? Still absolutely not.
That's basically 101 kit that Asexuals use to try explain ourselves lol. That's just a simple analogy that might help people understand it, so I get you, my aesthetic attraction is definitely more than just "oh, pretty landscape", but still... definitely don't wanna fuck them ☠️
Thank you so much for the bi appreciation here! I've been dealing with a lot of biphobia and hearing this (from people I admire so much) actually made me cry. You guys are awesome 💗💜💙
Gotta confess that I'm here bc I watched the IG reel where they were hitting on bisexual women, n needed this lift again 😂 Thank you, girls. Our bi self-esteem is happy n content ❤️
How is Ashley not feeling well and still looking so fresh?! Also whilst wearing beige, a color, I proclaim, that has never brought out the best in anyone.
Dear Mak - usually when I'm having that much resistance to something that I REALLY want, it's my ego blocking me. It's fear and anxiety for a big life change - but a really big nice house in Springfield, doesn't matter if it's empty when all your friends and loved ones are in a different city. You can ALWAYS make more money. You're 23 - you're going to regret not doing the things you really wanted to do when you get older, and will end up resenting whatever kept you there. I'm team Move Mak to LA! Life your life, my friend, you only get one!
for me, a big part of my queer imposter syndrome was feeling like i was somehow wrong about my sexuality, or lying to myself. one of the things that helped me get over that was realizing that i couldnt be wrong about my own feelings. it sounds obvious, but part of me was convinced that i somehow had tricked myself into being gay, i guess, and so being able to validate all my own feelings was ultimately what helped me get over the imposter syndrome the most. also, like alayna said, finding a good queer community that will validate you helps a ton in being able to validate yourself and be comfortable in your own queerness
I come back to this podcast at the 40:30 timestamp, and hear you praise bi people, and it makes me so happy. It makes me so happy. I'll probably cry at one of these soon.
Honestly queer media, but especially queer spaces on youtube, was such a big part of my coming out and breaking down imposter syndrome. It also continues to be a big part of how I engage with my bi-identity as someone in a monogamous straight marriage. So thankful for spaces like this one!
Need some kind of merch about how great this podcast is, how it's such a top of a podcast it's topping the charts. On the WHGS podcast, it's a shirt with a picture of just Ashley on a pizza (ashley...topping). Am I reaching?
I said this on one of their other videos when they were still about 30 mins. Ashley graced me with a response and she said they’re working on it! But let’s be real, the episodes will never be long enough, I could listen all day lol
Bi femme unite! Thankful for the validation. Took decades to embrace my femininity after growing up boyish. Even thought maybe I was in a “transition period” coming out as bi but really a lesbian. As per Breanne Williamson’s how to know tip. Can you guys have Bre as a guest? She is family!
I have had a tongue ring for 14 years. I have engaged many times in oral. I have a very long tongue so the ring has never been a hinder. I can do all the normal moves. I have found it to be helpful if someone is extra sensitive to use it on the outer lips and push in with it. I have also used it when people are not super sensitive and want something a little rougher.
Thank you for your unapologetic support of trans women and bi people:) I just discovered this channel and im in love haha. Im ftm and identified as a lesbian before transitioning. Ive always been saddened by the part of the lesbian community thats so small minded and conservative because for me, it was a safe place to be myself before i knew who myself was:) Tho i dont identify as a lesbian anymore, theres still a part of me that feels tied to the community becuase (tho i identify as straight) i dont feel as tho i belong in the straight community. Im a man with a vagina who loves my partner with a vagina, it feels more in line with my sexual experiences. So again, thank you for your support of the entire spectrum of queerness, in sexuality and gender:)
Love your podcasts ! I've pretty recently discovered im asexual and i love the topics of conversation, they are so insightful. The sexual, relationships, even attraction stuff, really has made me reflect on how ive experienced the world and how its so different to the allo folk :-) so mind blowing for me. Thank you.
"Ashley's so mean" lmaooo, dude your comedy is on point all of yours. I Love you guys's dynamic so much, your humor is just the best. Anyone who thinks Ashley is mean are the ones her content is going right over. Your guy's humor is the absolute best and I hope it never changes ❤ Or I hope it changes in the best way
I used to have a tongue ring. I never got to use it in queer sex but in the hetero relationships, both people said it did nothing for them. I loved it so much and had it for 5 ish years but it got to a point where I was worried about the damage I was doing to my teeth from accidentally biting it. It just wasn't worth it to keep it in long term.
I get where Mak is coming from. I’ve wanted to move to Minnesota but I’ve lived here my entire life so there is huge anxiety in going for it. The thing is the longer i go with out being where I’d be happier the less i care about that anxiety and i just want to do it. If it’s the money thing go get a shared space in LA with friends/family. Tons of influencers are doing that content house thing so they can be in LA with opportunities without going poor. Invest in being happy and you’ll never go wrong.
I honestly think the best way to get through feeling like a gay imposter is engaging with queer media and hearing how other queer people have felt that way and there isn't one way to be a lesbian, bi, gay, trans etc. Nor is there a right way
I’ve done this for years (starting w the l word in high school) then it spiraled to every corner of queer culture & media really & it really did help me realize my sexuality people put words to everything I felt. Also LESBIAN MASTER DOC regardless of your sexuality it’s sooo helpful
I am literally blushing at when Alayna said bi women are beautiful creations. Am I the only one blushing at that whole bi women bit? 😳🫠 I love you guys!!! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜💖
My first girlfriend ever had one and she was inexperienced with lesbian sex until we got together. It was not a fun experience for me to have the piercing down there, it did get caught all the time so it was painful. It never occured to any of us to take it out just for the night. My current girlfriend also has a piercing but she would always take it out in order to up her game and not limit her movements. I guess kissing can be very arousing with one of the two having a tongue piercing or using it while stimulating other area's of the female body. But other than that I highly prefer a tongue without a piece of metal attached to it!
Loving the podcast. Thanks to Ashley, Alayna, and Mak for bringing bright lesbian perspective and joy to this 59 year old straight white guy. You rock as individuals and together! 🌈❤🌈❤🌈❤
Mak! You could move for a year, 365 days commit to living in LA. You can always move back!! And, you can commit to making more money so you are saving the same amount by the end of that year. Then if you can make a go of it AND meet your savings goals, win-win-win! And if it’s not working by end of year, then you can move back to Springfield. Wishing you and your wife your happiest and best lives!
when mak says "guys we're going to be talking about this for the rest of the pod" and you both say "that's fine!" ........THAT. that just felt so immensely comforting to me omfg thank you
For me when I was struggling w my sexuality the biggest fear, to answer Alaynas question, was that I would actually just be straight. Not to do with other peoples perceptions at all. I think being horrified at the idea of being straight & not wanting to be straight should have let me know I’m not but there were a lot of things I ignored or dismissed & gaslighted within myself lol
I feel like Mak has reasons to go to LA, but I did the save up thing and I’m now moving to the place I want to be and bought the house I love because of waiting… and now I’m going to be on a tight budget but it’s worth it because I have the house. I’m only 24 though so I’m probably in a similar mindset to Mak because of that. I feel like the icks were turn offs and genuine reasons to be put off people. A major ick of mine is the way some women interact with/strokes my dog, I can’t put my finger on it but it’s always somehow so specific😂 also thank you for the vegan ice cream ❤
As a bi transfem, I am so happy that y'all are so inclusive. Watching these videos makes me so happy and gay in the best way possible. You all make me feel so much better
@Makingemi: I'm in my 40s and I just started having regrets over not going to places a few years ago. It's not really an issue of money: once I reached a certain age, I just no longer had the same amount of time and energy to travel and live elsewhere as before. There's a whole lot of places I wanted to explore in more detail than just a quick tour; I might still get to see some of them, but others are forever out of my reach. Finances are important, sure; but if you feel that L.A. might make you happy, that it might be a good and self-affirming place to spend some of your life at, I advise you to go do it while you can, because our ability to experience many facets of life constantly diminishes with age. On another note, I doubt this is the case, but wouldn't it be hilarious if the whole "tongue piercings are good for oral sex" idea turned out to all come from that one throwaway line in Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, which the entire lesbian world took far too seriously?
I felt less like an imposter when I figured out what type of presentation felt like me. In the beginning, I was conflicted about the "feminine" things I like, like makeup and having longer hair, and felt I was obligated to present more masculine if I wanted people to take me coming out as non-binary seriously. With my features and figure, it's extremely unlikely that people will call me anything other than she/her no matter how I dress, so I stopped worrying about it. It doesn't matter if I don't "look" non-binary- whatever that means- it doesn't change the fact that I am.
I posted this on the WHGS video, but honestly I never even knew tongue rings were considered gay culture. When I got mine 20 years ago, it was definitely a straight thing. In fact, it was seen as something where if you had it, you definitely have sex with guys. A lot of girls in my school who were more opening sleeping with guys had them, so it almost became this idea where if you got one, you'd fit in with the older 'cool girls'. I still have mine, but I mostly use it as a fidget tool for my ADHD, so even though I am in a long term straight relationship, I don't keep it for that reason, I keep it for me. I will say guys definitely enjoyed it, however mine is more 'lesbian placed' as Alayna said previously, so maybe my experience isn't the normal. Because it's not towards the back, it's not constantly hitting the more sensitive part, I have more control.
I had a tongue piercing but never gave oral while I had it. The stereotype I always heard was that tongue piercings made blowjobs specifically better, not oral sex as a whole Edit: also I just got to the end where you explicitly affirm trans lesbians and honestly you guys my heart
Ok so, I have received from people with tongue piercings. I like it, but not straight away. It is more for when you want someone to... up the anti? Like sometimes you just want your clit to be hammered? It's a sometimes treat. A tool in a wide array of movements and techniques. Sometimes it's too much/direct... sometimes it is PERFECT. To be fair, this is just my experience. I've been with people who have been too sensitive for digits, and others who needed very direct contact to feel anything at all. Probably all about communicating? What are other people's experiences?
So my partner was a pricer and did a lot of clit pircings and also for other expirience they saied that the larger the clit, the nore carefull and softer you have to be. That made total sens to me cuz the larger survace would also have a lot more nervendings.
My pro -tip for the day : how to get the most out of every episode: I always listen to the pod driving or going on my day. After that-I go and watch the same episode on yt as soon as I find the time to watch you all interact-and that aways is like seing/hearing it anew. 😊
Aawwwww as a bisexual woman who has experienced biphobia I am so happy that these gorgeous lesbian women would date me (I mean theoretically, hypothetically) 🌈
I've had the same exact experience with a tongue ring as Alayna, had it for 10+ years and realized that it was an unnecessary weight on my tongue whilst going down on someone
I just wanna say that as a bi woman who is engaged to a trans woman and "suffered" for so many years with my conservative family that you have to find the right people that walks beside you. Me and my gf recently moved to another state and all of our friends here are queer. Now, we literally have our chosen family that trully respect us, help us when we need and trully love us. This is the best of life we are living now. (and that talks a little about Mak situation about moving from our parents city, because we've been so happy and true to ourselves --despite money being a really thing). All of that just to say that I'm really glad I can watch your videos, undestand a little bit more about myself in this process and be happy with it. ((((and also i'm sorry about my bad english haha i don't know if i've made myself clear))))
"i worked around it for 10 years and then realized I didn't have to and could just take it out" Alayna's tongue ring is a metaphor for her comp het lol
omg this
my thoughts exactly lmao especially cuz she was with a man for many of those years! jk that's just a coincidental plus to the metaphor but still, since i know from men's words myself that penis-owners DO like it, it is a pretty good comparison
And also a metaphor for Mak’s hesitancy to spend on herself.
Loved that the comphet was so talked about in this one, it's a had think to understand and process, I still can't tell what's what
Yeah I realized her tongue ring was a replacement for a ring on her finger that was hindering all of her movements.
I’m a feminine lesbian and I’ve always been told “you don’t look like a lesbian”. So, when I saw the most beautiful woman walk into this party I was at, I approached her. Granted this was after having some drinks and my confidence peaked. Totally thought I was out of her league. Now, she’s my wife 😊 together for 8 years and married for 3.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 That's so sweet. Omg noteddddd
Straight outta a romantic juicy novel,yet all too true,Im beyond happy for the pair of you congratulations🎉❤
As a bi femme, I feel so comforted by this episode, so much love to our little family
yessss! my two best friends are dating and they are both bi femmes and we listened to this together and they were so happy!
You are stunning btw
Mee tooo ❤️🌈
bisexuals can’t be femmes. femme is a lesbian term
@@bastetowl3258 that’s not true at all, I know plenty of bi women that present as more masc and plenty that present as more femme. It’s not dedicated to one sexuality.
As a gay vegan... the most relatable content in this pod is how ashley forgets alayna's veganism in every single episode 😂❤
funniest part is im effectively vegan (veggie, who keeps mostly vegan)
@@ashgavs unbelievable 😂😂
I don’t buy that, vegans make it impossible for you to forget that they’re vegan 😂Ashley has got to be doing a bit
Yes bahahaha
gay vegans unite!
On the subject of Twilight having no-premarital-sex-except-it's-vampires, the author is literally a mormon and has lots of purity culture stuff in her book so Ashley was 100% right. They even additionally have the actual no-premarital-sex because Edward is "old fashioned" and "wants to do things right".
I was thinking the same thing!
No for real definitely was a good analogy
As someone who grew up extremely poor, I get Mak’s stance on it feeling wrong to spend money, even if you have it. It’s been a multi-year long process and I’m still figuring my own issues out but life is SO much better now that I’m learning how to actually spend money in a healthy way. Like Ashley said, there’s lot of equations and budgeting tools to help figure out what’s reasonable to spend. But budgeting joy for yourself is so so important too
Maks feelings are so relatable & im 28 & have struggled w poor & scacity mindset most of my life (I still have small fear based moments) but for the most part I’ve gotten over it & I don’t let fear /trauma rule me anymore!!! Life is NOW, and it’s trusting yourself & trusting that money is always there & always will be replaced & abundance is in MY control, & a lot hasn’t changed except for my mindset; it’s the trust in myself and love & value I put into myself & my time on earth.
@@emmabunch-benson4795 this!
and the way prices of everything are raising, i feel like i go into fight or flight every time i enter a store 😭😭 just thinking about how much this used to be, how many things i could’ve gotten before for the same amount,etc. just generally high anxiety and extreme guilt for spending basically any money
As a fem bisexual woman who has felt like she wasn't gay enough to be part of the community, I felt so validated by this thank you
I had a tongue ring get stuck under my hood. Mind you I was SUPER drunk and the pain was STILL horrific. I screamed “stop!!! don’t move!!!” And luckily she listened instead of pulling away and we very carefully maneuvered her head to get it out. Sooo painful and I was done receiving for the night 😅
@@parking_lot1826 it was a smaller metal stud with a diamond on it haha it hurt so bad!
@@parking_lot1826 Yep! Now her and I have been best friends for 9 years 😂
Oh god absolutelyyyyy not
@@emmabunch-benson4795 It was quite the shock honestly!!
NOOO
Okay, I love you guys all the more for affirming trans folk and bisexuals in the strongest manner possible. I have never understood the bias/hate.
Femme here - I express my queerness through lots of colors, glitter, and drama in my outfits. Just being super extra in all the ways! It's sooo fun. And thank you for all the bi women praise!
Masc-ish man here but same! Especially with the colors and dramatic outfits! I’m stepping out to put on a show lmao
I was in a relationship with a cishet guy who had a tongue ring and oral was absolutely horrible. The sad part is that back then I had no confidence and didn't even say anything, just basically winced and recoiled (cause it friggin hurt and was uncomfortable) but at no point did he ask about it either. Woof.
As a bisexual woman the last few minutes hit different, especially coming from three lesbian women considering I’ve noticed in the past a reluctance to date bisexual woman, because we experience attraction to both sexes. So thank you for that! Brilliant episode as always.
As a bi femme, you called me out and I feel SO validated right now🫶🏾
Wow tears just sprang out of my eyes upon hearing y’all validate bisexual and transgender people 💜 like of course everyone should see bisexual and transgender people as valid
Petition for the listeners to be called the Family Friends: we all have or will find our chosen families, and we all live on one big gay street together. Alternatively, the gay cousins
"...That's what money is for, is to be able to live the best life that you can." Alayna, you are a queen 💞✨️💙
The whole conversation with Mak about moving felt like such a family conversation. I recently moved to somewhere much nicer, and although it's way more expensive, it's worth it. I wouldn't underestimate the impact that quality of life and having important experiences has on future income.
I have 40:33 to 41:12 on repeat because I really resinated with this episode and often feel like I have something to prove and that I'm not recognized as queer because of my bisexuality, and the fact that I've never dated anyone, and hearing you all collectively appreciate bisexual women(like myself) just made me feel so recognized and comfortable. this podcast is so important and so powerful, I would like to stay here forever please :)
Mak's situation is so relevant to me. My job is remote and let's me live anywhere in the US, so I just moved to a much higher cost of living area to be around my friends who accept me in all my queerness. And it hurts that in 2 or 3 years I could afford a nice house by my family and here it will be forever. But this podcast reminded me that I moved because I'm much happier around friends and people that accept me.
As someone coming out as a lesbian later in life at 29, this podcast means a lot to me as I step fully into my queerness.✨Also gotta love Ashley’s sweet smile at 6:40. ☺️
Maybe something that would help Mak would be a middle-ground? Maybe say, "I'm going to move out there by a certain date" but set a goal of how much to put into savings/investments by then. That way Mak can move out there and have the desired lifestyle and experiences but within a financial plan/space they feel comfortable with.
Her name has a k instead of c! (Mak)
@@charb2743 Ty!!
Agreed
Guyyys, I’ve just recently came out as bi and although I don’t feel imposter síndrome, on the contrary, I feel more myself then ever! But I don’t have a lot of queer friends or physical community, and am kind of afraid of the Bi phobia and all that, and that little prize to bi femme woman just hit right in the feels 🥹 thank you so much for doing this podcast and being my chosen family 😁
Happy for u!!! I also tune into Ashley's other podcast and there is a "we're having gay sex" discord so it could be a good online queer community in the meantime. It often comes up ab how to find irl ppl and I think researching any possible queer activities in ur location (bars, etc)..and also just kinda going out and doing what you like to do you may run into like minded ppl and maybe some of them might also be queer.
Also biphobia is a bitch but if it happens to come up take it as a sign to not fw whoever has those wrong views. Don't let fear/anxiety ab running into biphobia keep u from living ur best life in ur truth tho 🙏🏽
Congrats! 🏳️🌈🥳
congrats
Same
I love that you’re feeling comfortable and more yourself! Cis 47 year old gay dude here and still learning more every dang day… I love this channel and everyone involved, so fun and entertaining but also I learn so much from people who are comfortable in being themselves and open to being wrong and changing to improve for themselves and others… I’ve noticed a real trend since the pandemic of a lot of folks realizing the world doesn’t end when they choose to be authentic… it is scary and trolls are everywhere but most people respond positively to authenticity, in others and in themselves, and what is true today can authentically change tomorrow and it’s okay
"I couldn't afford ick cause Ive been going through a famine" 🤣
Bi trans woman here and I love my chosen family! Thank you for the validation! I also dropped my tongue ring and have experienced the bliss of enhanced lingual game.
Awe thanks for the “bi women are of god”😂❤️💗
I am not much of a fan of listening to podcasts. But I consume this like crazy! I love it so much! The dynamics between the three of you, the subjects which you discuss and the way you approach them. With humor and at the same time sensibility and so much love and and care towards each other and us the coussies. I honestly do believe this podcast deserves an award. How can I help to make this happen? Sending love from Indonesia. (I'm Dutch though, don't want to be like an imposter of a queer Indonesian) , Mel
Ashleys face is honestly so nice, especially after saying something smug xD
I've had double tongue piercings for 11 years, and have gotten mostly meh reviews from past partners. I think the idea of it is the most intriguing for potential partners. I might just take mine out after hearing Alayna's pov. Looking at other comments I also never stopped to think that maybe it wasn't pleasant and people were just not confident enough to tell me so. 💜 Much love to you all!!
I mean to be fair it’s really rude/uncomfortable socially to tell another person what to do with their body. Your body your choice. So I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe it was unpleasant but never expressed. I personally wouldn’t even allow it down there & I really don’t like oral piercings even for kissing (I’ve tried that & that was enough )
Love this. Without getting sappy, the queer imposter sydrome ended for me when I stopped trying to inhabit identities which would "make me gay enough" but felt wrong (e.g.: not true to who I really was, and thus causing this loop of "why am I not gay enough to make this work???") and returned home to my own identity which was Gay Enough all along.
Mak talking about her aesthetic attraction to a dude makes me feel so much better, like okay, I'm not the only one. I've heard people frame aesthetic attraction as "look at this landscape painting, you might like it but you don't want to have sex with it", which is TOTALLY not an accurate description of the kind of attraction I have towards certain men. Like, I definitely don't like the way they look in the same way I might light a landscape lol. But have sex with them? Still absolutely not.
That's basically 101 kit that Asexuals use to try explain ourselves lol. That's just a simple analogy that might help people understand it, so I get you, my aesthetic attraction is definitely more than just "oh, pretty landscape", but still... definitely don't wanna fuck them ☠️
Thank you so much for the bi appreciation here! I've been dealing with a lot of biphobia and hearing this (from people I admire so much) actually made me cry. You guys are awesome 💗💜💙
As a bi woman who mostly reads hate on being bi, this was validating. This made me feel good, so thank you ❤️
Gotta confess that I'm here bc I watched the IG reel where they were hitting on bisexual women, n needed this lift again 😂 Thank you, girls. Our bi self-esteem is happy n content ❤️
same
As a bisexual woman, I feel so seen and appreciated by the last segment! 😍😍😍 Thank you.
How is Ashley not feeling well and still looking so fresh?! Also whilst wearing beige, a color, I proclaim, that has never brought out the best in anyone.
Dear Mak - usually when I'm having that much resistance to something that I REALLY want, it's my ego blocking me. It's fear and anxiety for a big life change - but a really big nice house in Springfield, doesn't matter if it's empty when all your friends and loved ones are in a different city. You can ALWAYS make more money. You're 23 - you're going to regret not doing the things you really wanted to do when you get older, and will end up resenting whatever kept you there.
I'm team Move Mak to LA! Life your life, my friend, you only get one!
Period!!
The discussion of bisexual women made me so happy!
I realized I was pan at a VERY late age so it's just good to hear.
for me, a big part of my queer imposter syndrome was feeling like i was somehow wrong about my sexuality, or lying to myself. one of the things that helped me get over that was realizing that i couldnt be wrong about my own feelings. it sounds obvious, but part of me was convinced that i somehow had tricked myself into being gay, i guess, and so being able to validate all my own feelings was ultimately what helped me get over the imposter syndrome the most. also, like alayna said, finding a good queer community that will validate you helps a ton in being able to validate yourself and be comfortable in your own queerness
I come back to this podcast at the 40:30 timestamp, and hear you praise bi people, and it makes me so happy. It makes me so happy. I'll probably cry at one of these soon.
As a bi femme I had no idea there was such a desire for me and damn thank you for that validation I didn't know I needed
Mak and Alayna with the twilight metaphor and Ashley comes in with the classic 'Dad' sports reference 🤣
When Ash goes "Bääääh" I just pictured a lonely sheep on a patch of grass.
I love when she says baaa😂
I binged the hell out of this series this weekend, and end on bi-femme praise. I'll take it! Yes, I'll pick all of you.
Honestly queer media, but especially queer spaces on youtube, was such a big part of my coming out and breaking down imposter syndrome. It also continues to be a big part of how I engage with my bi-identity as someone in a monogamous straight marriage. So thankful for spaces like this one!
Need some kind of merch about how great this podcast is, how it's such a top of a podcast it's topping the charts. On the WHGS podcast, it's a shirt with a picture of just Ashley on a pizza (ashley...topping). Am I reaching?
MOM and DAD spitting all their paternal wisdom at BABY was awesome! Mak, I hope you listen to them! 🙏🏻❤ “Go take care of her right now!” 💯
“Like 2013 Bieber in the bowling alley”
Mak 😂
wish you guys would do longer episodes. it feels like its over way too quiick!
I said this on one of their other videos when they were still about 30 mins. Ashley graced me with a response and she said they’re working on it! But let’s be real, the episodes will never be long enough, I could listen all day lol
Bi femme unite! Thankful for the validation.
Took decades to embrace my femininity after growing up boyish. Even thought maybe I was in a “transition period” coming out as bi but really a lesbian. As per Breanne Williamson’s how to know tip. Can you guys have Bre as a guest? She is family!
I have had a tongue ring for 14 years. I have engaged many times in oral. I have a very long tongue so the ring has never been a hinder. I can do all the normal moves. I have found it to be helpful if someone is extra sensitive to use it on the outer lips and push in with it. I have also used it when people are not super sensitive and want something a little rougher.
As a bi woman, this made me smile to big and made me feel so validated! Thank you so much!😊
22:13 hell YEAH! Basically my entire Ace experience :)
Thank you for your unapologetic support of trans women and bi people:) I just discovered this channel and im in love haha. Im ftm and identified as a lesbian before transitioning. Ive always been saddened by the part of the lesbian community thats so small minded and conservative because for me, it was a safe place to be myself before i knew who myself was:) Tho i dont identify as a lesbian anymore, theres still a part of me that feels tied to the community becuase (tho i identify as straight) i dont feel as tho i belong in the straight community. Im a man with a vagina who loves my partner with a vagina, it feels more in line with my sexual experiences. So again, thank you for your support of the entire spectrum of queerness, in sexuality and gender:)
Love your podcasts ! I've pretty recently discovered im asexual and i love the topics of conversation, they are so insightful. The sexual, relationships, even attraction stuff, really has made me reflect on how ive experienced the world and how its so different to the allo folk :-) so mind blowing for me. Thank you.
Ashley speaks so much truth about what women want…. Slow and gentle (vs constant railing), broad flat tongue, etc.
Can we just make a clip of them talking about bi women so we can replay it over and over again when we’re having our queer imposter syndrome moments?!
"Ashley's so mean" lmaooo, dude your comedy is on point all of yours. I Love you guys's dynamic so much, your humor is just the best. Anyone who thinks Ashley is mean are the ones her content is going right over. Your guy's humor is the absolute best and I hope it never changes ❤ Or I hope it changes in the best way
I used to have a tongue ring. I never got to use it in queer sex but in the hetero relationships, both people said it did nothing for them. I loved it so much and had it for 5 ish years but it got to a point where I was worried about the damage I was doing to my teeth from accidentally biting it. It just wasn't worth it to keep it in long term.
I love this whole podcast and it really makes me feel proud🏳️🌈
I get where Mak is coming from. I’ve wanted to move to Minnesota but I’ve lived here my entire life so there is huge anxiety in going for it. The thing is the longer i go with out being where I’d be happier the less i care about that anxiety and i just want to do it.
If it’s the money thing go get a shared space in LA with friends/family. Tons of influencers are doing that content house thing so they can be in LA with opportunities without going poor. Invest in being happy and you’ll never go wrong.
As a bi femme, thank you. Was a great birthday gift! :D
I honestly think the best way to get through feeling like a gay imposter is engaging with queer media and hearing how other queer people have felt that way and there isn't one way to be a lesbian, bi, gay, trans etc. Nor is there a right way
I’ve done this for years (starting w the l word in high school) then it spiraled to every corner of queer culture & media really & it really did help me realize my sexuality people put words to everything I felt. Also LESBIAN MASTER DOC regardless of your sexuality it’s sooo helpful
I am literally blushing at when Alayna said bi women are beautiful creations. Am I the only one blushing at that whole bi women bit? 😳🫠
I love you guys!!! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜💖
Should be sleeping, but I need my fix
True it’s 3:44am for me rn.
I’m coming to terms with who I am, which I’m thinking is a Bi Femme… and hearing you talk about imposter syndrome and everything else is just amazing
LOVE Ashley muttering in the background while trying to Google one direction members….😂😂😂
Thanks Alayna for always pointing out comp het and the differences in attraction
My first girlfriend ever had one and she was inexperienced with lesbian sex until we got together. It was not a fun experience for me to have the piercing down there, it did get caught all the time so it was painful. It never occured to any of us to take it out just for the night. My current girlfriend also has a piercing but she would always take it out in order to up her game and not limit her movements. I guess kissing can be very arousing with one of the two having a tongue piercing or using it while stimulating other area's of the female body. But other than that I highly prefer a tongue without a piece of metal attached to it!
I get very excited when I see a new episode pop up. This podcast just makes me so happy!! hehe
Loving the podcast. Thanks to Ashley, Alayna, and Mak for bringing bright lesbian perspective and joy to this 59 year old straight white guy. You rock as individuals and together! 🌈❤🌈❤🌈❤
Mak! You could move for a year, 365 days commit to living in LA. You can always move back!! And, you can commit to making more money so you are saving the same amount by the end of that year. Then if you can make a go of it AND meet your savings goals, win-win-win! And if it’s not working by end of year, then you can move back to Springfield.
Wishing you and your wife your happiest and best lives!
when mak says "guys we're going to be talking about this for the rest of the pod" and you both say "that's fine!" ........THAT. that just felt so immensely comforting to me omfg thank you
For me when I was struggling w my sexuality the biggest fear, to answer Alaynas question, was that I would actually just be straight. Not to do with other peoples perceptions at all. I think being horrified at the idea of being straight & not wanting to be straight should have let me know I’m not but there were a lot of things I ignored or dismissed & gaslighted within myself lol
Wow this comment is exactly my thought process on everything like it was very affirming for me so thank you for putting out your experience
I feel like Mak has reasons to go to LA, but I did the save up thing and I’m now moving to the place I want to be and bought the house I love because of waiting… and now I’m going to be on a tight budget but it’s worth it because I have the house. I’m only 24 though so I’m probably in a similar mindset to Mak because of that.
I feel like the icks were turn offs and genuine reasons to be put off people. A major ick of mine is the way some women interact with/strokes my dog, I can’t put my finger on it but it’s always somehow so specific😂
also thank you for the vegan ice cream ❤
Amazing that you're talking about money here. We need this! Money is simply a tool. Also I needed that pep talk
As a bi transfem, I am so happy that y'all are so inclusive. Watching these videos makes me so happy and gay in the best way possible. You all make me feel so much better
@Makingemi: I'm in my 40s and I just started having regrets over not going to places a few years ago. It's not really an issue of money: once I reached a certain age, I just no longer had the same amount of time and energy to travel and live elsewhere as before. There's a whole lot of places I wanted to explore in more detail than just a quick tour; I might still get to see some of them, but others are forever out of my reach. Finances are important, sure; but if you feel that L.A. might make you happy, that it might be a good and self-affirming place to spend some of your life at, I advise you to go do it while you can, because our ability to experience many facets of life constantly diminishes with age.
On another note, I doubt this is the case, but wouldn't it be hilarious if the whole "tongue piercings are good for oral sex" idea turned out to all come from that one throwaway line in Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, which the entire lesbian world took far too seriously?
Between the "fuck off terfs" statement and the "bi people are of god", this might be the best episode so far.
istg you really feel like a family to me now and we're only episode 8 i didnt expect this 🥺🥰🥰🥰
I felt less like an imposter when I figured out what type of presentation felt like me. In the beginning, I was conflicted about the "feminine" things I like, like makeup and having longer hair, and felt I was obligated to present more masculine if I wanted people to take me coming out as non-binary seriously.
With my features and figure, it's extremely unlikely that people will call me anything other than she/her no matter how I dress, so I stopped worrying about it. It doesn't matter if I don't "look" non-binary- whatever that means- it doesn't change the fact that I am.
Very excited for Ashleys Special coming up and her saying that she almost only dated bi women is hot af.
I posted this on the WHGS video, but honestly I never even knew tongue rings were considered gay culture. When I got mine 20 years ago, it was definitely a straight thing. In fact, it was seen as something where if you had it, you definitely have sex with guys. A lot of girls in my school who were more opening sleeping with guys had them, so it almost became this idea where if you got one, you'd fit in with the older 'cool girls'. I still have mine, but I mostly use it as a fidget tool for my ADHD, so even though I am in a long term straight relationship, I don't keep it for that reason, I keep it for me. I will say guys definitely enjoyed it, however mine is more 'lesbian placed' as Alayna said previously, so maybe my experience isn't the normal. Because it's not towards the back, it's not constantly hitting the more sensitive part, I have more control.
The way I'm binge watching this podcast is insane. I really love it, wow!!
YASSS BEST PODCAST EVAA
I had a tongue piercing but never gave oral while I had it. The stereotype I always heard was that tongue piercings made blowjobs specifically better, not oral sex as a whole
Edit: also I just got to the end where you explicitly affirm trans lesbians and honestly you guys my heart
As a vulva owner, I enjoyed my partners having tongue rings. I was thinking of getting my tongue pierced again, but now I’m not certain lol
did you mean a volvo owner? like you’re talking about the car you own?
@@bastetowl3258 I think they meant vulva, as in the female external reproductive system
You are my favourite people! Always have interesting, relevant conversations. You also made me as a bi woman feel very validated💕
Shy, inexperienced, bisexual, bottom femme who is into other femmes is feeling wanted by gay women for the first time... thank you for that ❤️
as a directioner, them talking abt one direction had me screaming
bro i feel like im on the podcast half the time love it lads keep it up lots of love from Ireland
Ok so, I have received from people with tongue piercings. I like it, but not straight away. It is more for when you want someone to... up the anti? Like sometimes you just want your clit to be hammered? It's a sometimes treat. A tool in a wide array of movements and techniques. Sometimes it's too much/direct... sometimes it is PERFECT.
To be fair, this is just my experience. I've been with people who have been too sensitive for digits, and others who needed very direct contact to feel anything at all.
Probably all about communicating?
What are other people's experiences?
So my partner was a pricer and did a lot of clit pircings and also for other expirience they saied that the larger the clit, the nore carefull and softer you have to be. That made total sens to me cuz the larger survace would also have a lot more nervendings.
Hell yea, therapy day and new CFP episode yes please.
My pro -tip for the day : how to get the most out of every episode:
I always listen to the pod driving or going on my day. After that-I go and watch the same episode on yt as soon as I find the time to watch you all interact-and that aways is like seing/hearing it anew. 😊
“Hold up I gotta look up Niall… wait now I gotta look up Liam now.”- Ashley in the background #relatable
Aawwwww as a bisexual woman who has experienced biphobia I am so happy that these gorgeous lesbian women would date me (I mean theoretically, hypothetically) 🌈
I've had the same exact experience with a tongue ring as Alayna, had it for 10+ years and realized that it was an unnecessary weight on my tongue whilst going down on someone
that's really sweet what you said about bisexual women :') I hope it counts for biromantic women as well, so I can feel like you were talking about me
the character development from "what is happening what does bereal mean guys what's happening" alayna to "oh! bereal !! 1 minute ago!" alayna
I just wanna say that as a bi woman who is engaged to a trans woman and "suffered" for so many years with my conservative family that you have to find the right people that walks beside you.
Me and my gf recently moved to another state and all of our friends here are queer. Now, we literally have our chosen family that trully respect us, help us when we need and trully love us. This is the best of life we are living now. (and that talks a little about Mak situation about moving from our parents city, because we've been so happy and true to ourselves --despite money being a really thing).
All of that just to say that I'm really glad I can watch your videos, undestand a little bit more about myself in this process and be happy with it.
((((and also i'm sorry about my bad english haha i don't know if i've made myself clear))))
Accidentally got misty eyes from feeling to validated/appreciated from this podcast at 40:33