Seeking support to keep our channel up and running, please. SUPER thanks on videos avail please, or on any SHORTS. Also, we have membership tiers on tazzznphilly.com. Also, we accept CASH app (our link in this video description). Or, Paypal (name in description). Thank you for ANY amount you can give. ~ Tazzz N Philly ~
This song is about Ren's very close, childhood friend Joe, who committed suicide by jumping off from a bridge. Sadly, they never found his body. RIP Joe.
Thanks Tazzz N Philly, once again you two are awesome. Sorry to hear about your friend Tazzz. - RIP Joe Hughes and to anyone that has lost someone❤ Here are the Lyrics if anyone wants them **** *************** Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suicide Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treading on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide I'm so fucking lonely beneath this, narcissistic, cant keep a secret, miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit Some say troubled, but some say sadistic, Bruises my brother, one time or the other, my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suicide Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treding on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide [sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi I feel like its not me its the world thats sick I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick masochistic kid with a split lip six feet deep I can't eat im nervous won't stay down 'cause my body purges useless my mother, cant keep in my supper skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour Truth is my father, you choose your karma draw for the sword then drive through the armour Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've fallen through the cracks of the night sky A light goes out on the other side, suicide, suicide, suicide Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm treding on the tracks in the night time It never really felt like the right time suicide, suicide, suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide Suicide suicide suicide It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut, Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup, You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts? I see the world through Fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped I think about that sometimes , vividly What it felt like to look down and see tranquility One sudden movement in a world of possibility Only one movement to expose our fragility I fucking miss you and I miss myself I miss thinking that were indestructible as well I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap, I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast, The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too, But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you Man I miss you, with all my rhymes I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine that’s not the way that I worked Coz I was late like a jerk There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd Fuck
First of all I love this song and the video on so many levels. For me the first part of the video looks at all the reasons someone might be feeling when contemplating suicide. The gray and blurry background, the disjointed and disturbing images of REN. It all works to create a feeling of being alone in a very bleak and harsh vision of the self and the world….it feels disconnected and hopeless. The words he raps are all pain and anguish and yet despite all of this he knows that there may only be darkness and nothingness when you fall through the cracks to the other side….so it’s never the right time for suicide. In the second part of the video the background is much lighter but the face and words REN speaks are all about the hurt and guilt suicide creates for those who are left behind. Not only does he miss his friend but he also misses the part of his life and himself that died with his friend who was like a brother to him. The take away message for me; no matter how painful and hard life is their is always the possibility for things to get better….life is fragile but as long as there is life their is hope. If your are having suicidal thoughts hold on, reach out for help and support. As a nurse and as someone dealing with depression I know that the mental health sector needs reform. We need to get away from the almost total reliance on pharmaceuticals. More holistic ways of helping people are desperately needed. Suicide, we don’t like to think about it or talk about it. In todays world we are told we cannot even use the word anymore, as if that helps…this is absurd! If we can’t discuss it we cannot help ourselves or anyone else. REN we are so glad you learned how to dance with your demons. You are so courageous and a much needed voice for our times. We love you for opening up your heart and your mind to us. Big ups to you for sharing your genius, your creativity and musical artistry you’re such a breath of fresh air. We love you for choosing life ✌🏼🫶🏼🙏🏽
Hi guys I’m a new subscriber just wanted to say I love the vibes and had to hit the sub button also I know that pain of losing a friend anyway Despite what the song is about and the theme of the heartfelt lyrics, ‘Su!cIde’ delivers a melody that can be described as upbeat as Ren seeks to find a balance in amongst the bittersweet sorrow of losing a loved one in this manner. Just in case ppl didn’t get to see the story behind this song here it is. The story behind this song is a very emotional one, as you will see below. “Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.”Ren will raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I hope this helps understand the song more
Thanks so much for the kind words, and also Ren's story. Unfortunate you share the pain of losing a friend as well. 🥺. We appreciate your support, Amanda. 😏. ~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly your welcome thank you guys this is actually her baby cousin Cheyenne Amanda or as we called her Mandy passed away last year in December from a heart condition she had since birth she gave me her iPad as a gift since she was getting worse that and a stuffed animal is all I have left besides her ashes in a necklace I just never had the heart to change her name I don’t want to so yeah hi I’m her cousin Cheyenne and my friend/crush dying from suicide isn’t the worst thing I’ve been through it definitely is up there top 3 worst but not #1 plus I healed from a lot of trauma this song hits home and gives me chills because of how close it is to my story and my friend difference is he died because I didn’t get to him on time by shooting himself in his pool I was stopped I was done with everything I was 15 before he died I was raped and drugged then right after he died I couldn’t take it and was going to take pills and go in a tub and let the water do it’s thing but edited that happened I got a phone call saying I needed to get to the hospital my brother was coming I saw him and vowed to do better from there on got help everything I just wish he lived too we’d probably be married today since the last thing he did before doing anything was kiss me and say I love you and I deserved better then he died and left me a letter asking to forgive him someday and a bunch of other sweet stuff I eventually did at the same time as my ex fiancée cheated and abused me emotionally and my cousin passed I wrote,ethers and read them out loud and threw them in the fire place I’m good now it’s like a weight lifted off my chest forgiveness is powerful especially when you forgive yourself sorry about all that anyway yeah thank you your welcome and hope the rest of year is good
How hard was that to get though especially the last part? Brings back my brother's suicide when I had just seen him 2 days prior and he mentioned it in a round-about way. Please take people seriously when they talk about this . He explains the feelings leading up to it very well. Hopelessness. You want the pain and not necessarily yourself to die. His expressing the guilt he still carries for not getting there in time is heartbreaking. 😥💔🙏🏽✌🏽
I didn't know about ur brother, Sweetheart. I can only imagine. 🥺 You make a great point I never thought of...wanting the pain to go away, not necessarily themselves. I just wish they all realized its a package deal. So saddening. 🥺. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts. Sending u a virtual hug RIGHT NOW. 🥰 ~ Tazzz ~
Some people who take their own lifes plan others act more spur of the moment. What i would say is that people in the very depths of depression often feel alone and isolated regardless of the words and support of others. If you come out of the other side of that you can be grateful for that support, it can mean so much, but sometimes right in the depths of the darkness you see no light and feel no warmth. Survival is indeed the key Tazzz but major depression can be like walking a tightrope where survival depends which side of the rope you fall off. Some people will say it's always a choice but i feel lucky that i fell on the right side and survived to see better days. I feel sadness for those who didn't survive but i totally understand it too.
Phil, I first thank you for speaking ur personal truth. Thats takes alot. I dont know you very well, but I can somehow sense ur soul. Ur a good Man. Very happy u fell on the life side of the proverbial tightrope. Know ur NEVER alone if dark times turn off the lights. We reacted to this song I LOVE that really resonates with me. Tell me if u like it. ☺️. ~ Tazzz ~ ua-cam.com/video/oDB5U-0H-9A/v-deo.html
Thanks for those words Tazzz and thanks for that link. I lnow why you guided me to that track from what I posted. That shows you really understand. I did listen to it when you first posted the reaction even though I didn't leave a comment. The original Tom Walker track is beautiful and speaks from the side of those trying to help someone they care for to get out of the darkness. The Madchild verses in the version with Joey Oz adds in the perspective of someone on the inside, battling but still falling. It's a powerful track indeed. Very relatable. Much love to you and Philly. Keep up the good work and thanks once more for your thoughtful response Tazzz.
appreciated both of your responses. thank you for reacting, this needs to be talked about. For many - especially men - the decision is often a split second decision, which is why guns are so dangerous to have around. In the US, that's what most men use. Sudden urge plus easy access = fatalities. Women more often - but not always - plan ahead.
Ur welcome, Aurora. Thats scary intel about you saying Men commit suicide more AND faster. Saddening. Thanks for sharing, and we appreciate your support. ~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly Faster, but I don't know if more men than women actually do... I know there's been a lot of buzz about men's suicide rates going up recently. The thing is, women's suicide rates are way up too. The difference - and it is crucial - is that men are more likely to do it impulsively, which leaves less opportunity for others to notice and intervene. Most think that a percentage of men who run their cars into trees are really suicides, and interviews with those who survive that kind of accident suggests that suicidal impulses play a role, but it's hard to quantify. Statistically, women have always used low-violence means. Pills remain a favorite. and no, I'm not a professional, I just know way too much about it. Many many years ago I was a pills and alcohol suicide; failed, obviously. My standard MO is to tame problems by learning about them. So it's a subject I've studied and followed closely. It no longer attracts me but I understand the urge.
Thank you Tazzz and Philly ❤ I appreciate you both sharing your experience with this heartbreaking subject. I lost my cousin and 2 good friends to suicide and it hit’s so differently . I actually almost didn’t listen to this song because of the subject matter but now I’m really glad that I did. Thank you both ❤❤❤
I literally went back and listended to it. Lacked empathy? I literally spoke about a situation I had personally that involved suicide. Its a very tough thing to talk about Thanks for the shit comment Robert. You can kiss all of my ass -Philly
Such a sad but beautifully vulnerable track this is what is left behind, the why? and what could I have done how could I not have noticed etc. I just love this artist, we need to talk we need each other❤🩹
![Tazzz N Philly | Ren - Money Game (part 2) [Reaction Video]. #ren #sickboi #fyp #hiren #moneygame](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZKxJje6dmP4/mqdefault.jpg)
Seeking support to keep our channel up and running, please. SUPER thanks on videos avail please, or on any SHORTS. Also, we have membership tiers on tazzznphilly.com. Also, we accept CASH app (our link in this video description). Or, Paypal (name in description). Thank you for ANY amount you can give.
~ Tazzz N Philly ~
Ren just did an interview with Rolling Stone.
This song is about Ren's very close, childhood friend Joe, who committed suicide by jumping off from a bridge. Sadly, they never found his body. RIP Joe.
The love between Ren and Joe lives on, and will save lives. ❤
Thanks Tazzz N Philly, once again you two are awesome. Sorry to hear about your friend Tazzz. - RIP Joe Hughes and to anyone that has lost someone❤
Here are the Lyrics if anyone wants them ****
***************
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suicide
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treading on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
I'm so fucking lonely beneath this,
narcissistic, cant keep a secret,
miscount sheep, I can't sleep, a misfit
Some say troubled, but some say sadistic,
Bruises my brother, one time or the other,
my skin felt counterfeit, silicone, rubber
Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister
dig deep resist the feeling when it hits you
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suicide
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
[sample] Sick boi, sick boi, bitten by a tick boi
I feel like its not me its the world thats sick
I'm so fucking washed up and sea sick
masochistic kid with a split lip
six feet deep I can't eat im nervous
won't stay down 'cause my body purges
useless my mother, cant keep in my supper
skin so pale 'cause my cheeks leak colour
Truth is my father, you choose your karma
draw for the sword then drive through the armour
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I've
fallen through the cracks of the night sky
A light goes out on the other side,
suicide, suicide, suicide
Oh I, Oh I, Oh I'm
treding on the tracks in the night time
It never really felt like the right time
suicide, suicide, suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
Suicide suicide suicide
It's hard to take off from the ground when your wings are cut,
Your stomach burns when you're drinking from an empty cup,
You know the entire ocean came from my tear ducts?
I see the world through Fibonacci sequences and Double Dutch
I guess there’s some that’s born lucky, there’s some that’s not
I tried to cut away my bitterness - hatchet job
I locked my youth in a trunk inside a pick up truck
Then dumped the whole thing over the same bridge the night you jumped
I think about that sometimes , vividly
What it felt like to look down and see tranquility
One sudden movement in a world of possibility
Only one movement to expose our fragility
I fucking miss you and I miss myself
I miss thinking that were indestructible as well
I miss chilling by the pier cave and kicking back
Wirth Callum, Hugo, Sagar, Justin, Stevie and the fuckin lads
I miss missing that, I numbed myself to close the gap,
I never even call em up the distance is my plaster cast,
The truth is that the day you jumped my childhood jumped too,
But I still can’t find the anger all I find is missing you
Man I miss you,
with all my rhymes
I picture running 5 minutes quicker, I'm right on time
I picture pulling you back over the edge and then were crying
And holding you my brother and telling you that it's fine
that’s not the way that I worked
Coz I was late like a jerk
There's not a day where I could find a way to break from the hurt
Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse
I hope your listening , I love you man, I miss you absurd
Fuck
Thanks, David. ☺️. Ur always so thoughtful in ur comments. It doesnt go unnoticed. ~ Tazzz ~
Second part was written just weeks ago after the Knox Hill interview where he talked details for the first time .
Such a heartbreaking but beautiful song. The spoken word at the end was added in after his interview with Knox Hill 🖤
Thank you so much for commenting. We appreciate your support of our channel. ~| Tazzz |~
First of all I love this song and the video on so many levels. For me the first part of the video looks at all the reasons someone might be feeling when contemplating suicide. The gray and blurry background, the disjointed and disturbing images of REN. It all works to create a feeling of being alone in a very bleak and harsh vision of the self and the world….it feels disconnected and hopeless. The words he raps are all pain and anguish and yet despite all of this he knows that there may only be darkness and nothingness when you fall through the cracks to the other side….so it’s never the right time for suicide.
In the second part of the video the background is much lighter but the face and words REN speaks are all about the hurt and guilt suicide creates for those who are left behind. Not only does he miss his friend but he also misses the part of his life and himself that died with his friend who was like a brother to him.
The take away message for me; no matter how painful and hard life is their is always the possibility for things to get better….life is fragile but as long as there is life their is hope. If your are having suicidal thoughts hold on, reach out for help and support. As a nurse and as someone dealing with depression I know that the mental health sector needs reform. We need to get away from the almost total reliance on pharmaceuticals. More holistic ways of helping people are desperately needed. Suicide, we don’t like to think about it or talk about it. In todays world we are told we cannot even use the word anymore, as if that helps…this is absurd! If we can’t discuss it we cannot help ourselves or anyone else.
REN we are so glad you learned how to dance with your demons. You are so courageous and a much needed voice for our times. We love you for opening up your heart and your mind to us. Big ups to you for sharing your genius, your creativity and musical artistry you’re such a breath of fresh air. We love you for choosing life ✌🏼🫶🏼🙏🏽
Thank you so much. It means a lot. We appreciate your support of our channel. 😏 ~| Tazzz
❤😢😢😢😢❤
SUPPORT
Thanks, Kauffman. 😏
Hi guys I’m a new subscriber just wanted to say I love the vibes and had to hit the sub button also I know that pain of losing a friend anyway
Despite what the song is about and the theme of the heartfelt lyrics, ‘Su!cIde’ delivers a melody that can be described as upbeat as Ren seeks to find a balance in amongst the bittersweet sorrow of losing a loved one in this manner. Just in case ppl didn’t get to see the story behind this song here it is.
The story behind this song is a very emotional one, as you will see below.
“Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking.
He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them.
I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five.
As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed.
I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night.
When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family.
A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink”
That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.”Ren will raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I hope this helps understand the song more
Thanks so much for the kind words, and also Ren's story. Unfortunate you share the pain of losing a friend as well. 🥺. We appreciate your support, Amanda. 😏. ~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly your welcome thank you guys this is actually her baby cousin Cheyenne Amanda or as we called her Mandy passed away last year in December from a heart condition she had since birth she gave me her iPad as a gift since she was getting worse that and a stuffed animal is all I have left besides her ashes in a necklace I just never had the heart to change her name I don’t want to so yeah hi I’m her cousin Cheyenne and my friend/crush dying from suicide isn’t the worst thing I’ve been through it definitely is up there top 3 worst but not #1 plus I healed from a lot of trauma this song hits home and gives me chills because of how close it is to my story and my friend difference is he died because I didn’t get to him on time by shooting himself in his pool I was stopped I was done with everything I was 15 before he died I was raped and drugged then right after he died I couldn’t take it and was going to take pills and go in a tub and let the water do it’s thing but edited that happened I got a phone call saying I needed to get to the hospital my brother was coming I saw him and vowed to do better from there on got help everything I just wish he lived too we’d probably be married today since the last thing he did before doing anything was kiss me and say I love you and I deserved better then he died and left me a letter asking to forgive him someday and a bunch of other sweet stuff I eventually did at the same time as my ex fiancée cheated and abused me emotionally and my cousin passed I wrote,ethers and read them out loud and threw them in the fire place I’m good now it’s like a weight lifted off my chest forgiveness is powerful especially when you forgive yourself sorry about all that anyway yeah thank you your welcome and hope the rest of year is good
How hard was that to get though especially the last part? Brings back my brother's suicide when I had just seen him 2 days prior and he mentioned it in a round-about way. Please take people seriously when they talk about this . He explains the feelings leading up to it very well. Hopelessness. You want the pain and not necessarily yourself to die. His expressing the guilt he still carries for not getting there in time is heartbreaking. 😥💔🙏🏽✌🏽
I didn't know about ur brother, Sweetheart. I can only imagine. 🥺
You make a great point I never thought of...wanting the pain to go away, not necessarily themselves. I just wish they all realized its a package deal. So saddening. 🥺. Thanks for sharing ur thoughts. Sending u a virtual hug RIGHT NOW. 🥰
~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly Thank you Tazzz - just got it and was much needed🤗
Some people who take their own lifes plan others act more spur of the moment. What i would say is that people in the very depths of depression often feel alone and isolated regardless of the words and support of others. If you come out of the other side of that you can be grateful for that support, it can mean so much, but sometimes right in the depths of the darkness you see no light and feel no warmth.
Survival is indeed the key Tazzz but major depression can be like walking a tightrope where survival depends which side of the rope you fall off. Some people will say it's always a choice but i feel lucky that i fell on the right side and survived to see better days. I feel sadness for those who didn't survive but i totally understand it too.
Phil, I first thank you for speaking ur personal truth. Thats takes alot. I dont know you very well, but I can somehow sense ur soul. Ur a good Man. Very happy u fell on the life side of the proverbial tightrope. Know ur NEVER alone if dark times turn off the lights.
We reacted to this song I LOVE that really resonates with me. Tell me if u like it. ☺️. ~ Tazzz ~
ua-cam.com/video/oDB5U-0H-9A/v-deo.html
Thanks for those words Tazzz and thanks for that link. I lnow why you guided me to that track from what I posted. That shows you really understand. I did listen to it when you first posted the reaction even though I didn't leave a comment.
The original Tom Walker track is beautiful and speaks from the side of those trying to help someone they care for to get out of the darkness. The Madchild verses in the version with Joey Oz adds in the perspective of someone on the inside, battling but still falling. It's a powerful track indeed. Very relatable.
Much love to you and Philly. Keep up the good work and thanks once more for your thoughtful response Tazzz.
@@philsilverthorn anytime my virtual awesome overseas Friend. If you ever need me - I will leave the light on. 😏. ~ Tazzz ~
appreciated both of your responses. thank you for reacting, this needs to be talked about. For many - especially men - the decision is often a split second decision, which is why guns are so dangerous to have around. In the US, that's what most men use. Sudden urge plus easy access = fatalities. Women more often - but not always - plan ahead.
Ur welcome, Aurora. Thats scary intel about you saying Men commit suicide more AND faster. Saddening.
Thanks for sharing, and we appreciate your support.
~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly Faster, but I don't know if more men than women actually do... I know there's been a lot of buzz about men's suicide rates going up recently. The thing is, women's suicide rates are way up too. The difference - and it is crucial - is that men are more likely to do it impulsively, which leaves less opportunity for others to notice and intervene. Most think that a percentage of men who run their cars into trees are really suicides, and interviews with those who survive that kind of accident suggests that suicidal impulses play a role, but it's hard to quantify. Statistically, women have always used low-violence means. Pills remain a favorite.
and no, I'm not a professional, I just know way too much about it. Many many years ago I was a pills and alcohol suicide; failed, obviously. My standard MO is to tame problems by learning about them. So it's a subject I've studied and followed closely. It no longer attracts me but I understand the urge.
Heard this song before and of course it is deep with a bunch of meaning. Good!
Thank you Tazzz and Philly ❤ I appreciate you both sharing your experience with this heartbreaking subject. I lost my cousin and 2 good friends to suicide and it hit’s so differently .
I actually almost didn’t listen to this song because of the subject matter but now I’m really glad that I did. Thank you both ❤❤❤
You are so welcome, Kim. Saddening about your own personal losses. 🥺
~ Tazzz ~
probably my vfavourite reactors at moment
Oh wow! Thank you, Ishwara. 😏. What would change "probably" to "definite"?
~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly a bottle of Laphroaig 10 year 😆
Thanks!
Thank you very, very much, Kim. You are such an awesome person. Always enjoy chatting with u. We appreciate your continuous support. 😏. ~ Tazzz ~
@@tazzznphilly 🥰🥰🥰
Thanks guys
💔💔💔💔💔
I skipped after Philly Started rambling, His Words lacked empathy.
I usually skip Philly
I literally went back and listended to it. Lacked empathy? I literally spoke about a situation I had personally that involved suicide. Its a very tough thing to talk about Thanks for the shit comment Robert. You can kiss all of my ass -Philly
Such a sad but beautifully vulnerable track this is what is left behind, the why? and what could I have done how could I not have noticed etc. I just love this artist, we need to talk we need each other❤🩹
Well said, and sooooooo true, Peter. Thanks for commenting. Ren is masterful and humble. Love his heart on his sleeve characteristic. ~ Tazzz ~