The greatest damage a bully can do is rob you of your humanity. Temper problems, confidence problems, misdirected emotional overload...callousness. Messed for life. Lucky if you can get therapy. I'm glad you still have so much of yours (humanity!). Thanks for the video.
@Merika Ramocan I don't know if I can help but I understand that feeling. My bully in primary school was one of my friends, he would bully me and then gaslight me into staying friends with him and it took me a while to get out of that. I think focusing on some aspect of self improvement can help. Learn a new language, teach yourself how to code, do martial arts, anything you enjoy. I think that helps to move forward and focus on your own growth
I managed to talk my way out of a lot of fights due to being aware that injury was sure to follow. At times the ego/pride wants to fight but I keep it in check. What am I proving and to whom? Some moron? Great talk Ramsey.
Danny Mecanovic this is how i think about it, its not about proving anything but am i brave enough or a coward? is my way of thinking wrong? honestly every fight i've been into im was scared af lmao but i fight bcs i know im not scared to my opponent but i just scared to get hurt.
Had two real street-fights in my life. Both were totally dump. Both situations were so strange. 1. Situation - A stupid guy out of my town had to pay money to a friend of mine because he stole something from him (actually he stole something from his parents). His parents were that kind to just say, "hey man just give us the money or the thing back and we won't have to tell the police that you stole". This guy was known for fighting almost every weekend. His teeth and whole face looked like that too. Everyone knew he was an idiot. He didn't want to pay it and visited a party when me and my friends just had fun. Noone thought about that and all of the sudden he came there and brought some guys with him. They all wanted to fight. You can tell that because once we were talking someone behind me said "Who was the one who wants the money?!". I turned and his fist already arrived my face. He did not wait for an answer. He just suckerpunched me and chaos arrived :D. My friends tried the best to help me but i think 6 guys all of the sudden beat me down. - They ran away and the police found all of them. Thats it. 2. Situation (maybe one month later) - One friend of mine and me went to a party. It was fine. We drank a few beer and 1 o'clock at night we went home. At the entrance a lady puked we went by and watched (not starring or something - just walking by and take a quick look without stopping) just in case we could help. But the situation was clear. Her friends, i think 4 or 5 guys were there and caring. So no need to stop and talk or ask if we could help. The Taxi's were maybe 10foot in front of that entrance. Once we passed a loud scream sounded right behind us. One of her friends, totally drunk, had the illusion that we laughed about her. Man. In his mind he must have been a white knight. -.- He ran right towards us with three of his friends. They began to push us with us all the time saying "hey man we did not laugh, we only checked for a second if everything is alright!!!! Calm down please!" . Because we already were on the street and a taxi came by i had to go to the other side. Suddenly me and my friend were devided and i had to watch how he punched my friend in the face. From that moment i saw red. Once the taxi was out of my way i ran over and knocked him out. Now we had all the others against us but the bad experience (situation 1) taught me. Stay together and knock out whoever tries to harm you or your friends if nothing else helped. And so i did that. Adrenalin went wild within my blood and i knocked 3 of them out. Jumped onto the forth and pushed his head on the street, I tried to talk to him that this is their fault but i couldn't talk, i scream that. And my friend kept the 5th one away from me because he was about to choke me. I am glad that a 6th guy came up to us and pulled his friends (the other 5 guys) away and ended that mess. My friend and i went straight to a taxi, thats it. I really hate to beat someone up. For real. I always fear that i would injur them seriously, even while fighting! I always try to talk about it and de-escalate the situation. I mean they are grown people. Adults! Those should know better ways instead of fighting like cavemen. So the only reason why i would take a fight is that someone hurts my beloved or myself. It is the last way.
Danny Mecanovic what I hate is when someone trash talk you, you trash talk them back and they want to fight. You then try to talk your way out of the fight
I once talked my way out of a fight. Didn't stop them going round telling everyone at school they put me in a wheelchair. A fair surprise to me when I walked into school the next day unharmed 😂
Once you experience violence you change your mind about it,that is truth.We all like to play war as kids but when actually go to place when you can get killed for real and when you realise that, you change a lot.
@@josuebrown6001 That's true with a lot of people that have been strictly in controlled situations, they've never actually come- up against someone who's truly trying to hurt them . It's good you have enough humility to admit that to yourself, if you couldn't admit that to yourself you couldn't begin to overcome that.
Fighting as a sport can be seen as a game and its fkn amazing its really fun, either to watch or practise as a hobby. Fighting in the streets same as racing in the streets, its a fun fantasy to make films about but in reality its just too dangerous can be fetal and there are no rules which means anyone with a knife or a lucky single punch can kill you no matter how great of a fighter you are, so its more like gambling instead of fighting.
Nothing wrong with walking away from a fight. Always remember, your opponent may not know what you know when it comes to fighting, but you don't know what he knows about fighting either.
I'm very proud of the fact that I haven't been in a street fight in 41 years. I've avoided numerous conflicts and dangerous situations because of my street smarts. I have turned more than a few threatening people into my buddies (at least that's what I made them believe). I accidentally walked into one situation that probably would have had some great fighters pissing in their pants. Sometimes when you're outnumbered (and outgunned), the only way out, is to never stop thinking and using your charm, intelligence and wits to think your way out of impossible situations. I have done this several times in my life and I'm telling you, the feeling of surviving purely by your wits, is much better than the feeling of beating someone up. Street survival is much more of a mental game than a physical game.
Sun Tzu says the best way to win a fight is to do it without a combat. As a kid i didn't have the social skills and matureness to do so, but as i grew older and learned that social skills were actually a thing (and therefore can be improved while staying true to myself). Glad that you remind folks that self defense is not only out-punching your foes. Combat is a last resort, which is why is good to have other tools that are safer.
I was at a party last weekend and some guy tried to fight me.. Walked up to me and flicked me in the face.. I've been training for sometime now and I'm confident I could of won. The next day I was so proud of myself for being able to stay calm and walk away from the situation because in my past I've always been quick to rage and quick to fight. In a way that moment felt a bit like a milestone for me.
If you're worried about picking fights with strangers remember, most mass shooters appear normal before they suddenly snap, most rape victims knew their attackers. You have to worry about people you know too.
The only two "street" fights I had to fight in as an adult, were with people I knew. Both attacked me so it was far passed talking or me being able to walk away. So yeah, you're completely right.
i admire your honesty, you ve just became my hero , and as a judoka i think the same as you about fights , by the way when one as compete a lot we dont feel the need of agression . when i was much younger i love fight in the school yards because i could used my judo skills and defeat the other guy easy a big throw and maybe a pinn or a shocke ( never armbars ) because the damage is to obvsiouse and it could be heard by my judo school . but i d love the sheering and the reputation . all that have change now i m afraid of street fights . and now having 3 kids , one a girl bjj , a son judoka ( he is in corea now training in a judo university , and another so a muay thai fighter . thank for your insight . oss
As a general rule, once you're out of high school, the chances of you actually getting into fights drops to next to nothing, _provided you aren't going out picking them._ There's obviously exceptions. For example, if your job involves saying "no" to arseholes, the odds increase, but even then ... Look, if someone wants to fight me, they can start swinging punches and I'll defend myself. Even then, my priority will be to leave as soon as I can. But _agreeing_ to a "streetfight"? That's just stupid. You're volunteering to risk some pretty severe injuries (or worse) while throwing away the legal protection of a self-defence claim.
If I was showing up as a noob at a fighting class, I'd expect to lose lol. And actually, that's a relief in many ways, when you realise it's ok to not be great at something initially. When you naturally tend to base your self esteem on competence, it can be a harsh world. Especially when you're like me and like to dabble in everything, and end up not being a real expert in anything. Accepting failure as part of the process and not as some kind of personal flaw in yourself is a real type of freedom.
You know what will make you regret a "street fight"? When the other guy pulls a gun out. I've never apologized for anything as much as I began apologizing then. I apologized for things that had nothing to do with me. I talked a lot of jazz about how tough I would be in that scenario before it happened. I was 100% wrong.
I personally do not regret my long standing tradition of avoiding situations where I need to violence somebody. Once I was dealing with a rather upset teen who had a hatchet. The situation ended with no blood spilled, no punches thrown. I didn’t fight, and I won that fight.
Loved that parallelism between your student and the bullies both wanting to win. You can always win, by jumping on your opponent from behind with fourteen friends. Fighting honorably, you'll win some and lose some. Fighting honorably and always winning is a dichotomy.
When you talked about being bullied as a kid and about pride and being robbed at gun point it reminded me of a situation, where me and 2 kids got threatened by knife and pistol in the woods and I actually then and there were calmer and more aware of what needs to be done to survive. And that was exactly what you said. Let go of your false pride and do what is necessary and survive.
Its been 8/9 years since I last said it, you have a very commanding voice. And watching this I find it very cathartic at least to me, ASMR-like even. I also find it amazing that after so long im still learning from you, its amazing. I hope you do more of these vlogs/videos, cause somehow they seem to hit home exactly when needed
man thanks a lot for sharing your experience with us, you have a new subscriber you help people to be better martial artists but also better persons . greetings from mexico
Your stories about those bullies always remind me that in small pockets of the world, some parents are teaching(or rather, not teaching anything at all to) their kids to be monstrous, violent people.
If you walk away from a fight someone else is trying to start the only thing that might be hurt is your pride. At the end of the day, he will still get into fights and potentially irreparably damage their own body, there's no need to let him drag you down the same path.
I admire your honesty Ramsey and how despite being well versed in many martial arts you are still advising your followers who many of them are fighters to avoid getting into fights whenever possible, I believe that the true martial artist isn't the one who knows how to punch or how to kick but the one who's capable of controlling himself when angry. Have a nice day.
Listening to this triggered memories of being bullied. While it was never this bad I still feel anger eating at me for not having done this or that when I was younger. To this day I feel the need for revenge. That is why I watch you Coach. Coz you have been through all that garbage and seem to have coping mechanisms. I admire you for it.
it’s five am & I’m pretty tipsy but your conversation style is incredibly smooth, this was a informative video with a lot to say, an array of interesting topics that got brought back around to your main message 🃏definitely enjoying watching some of your older videos this morning :)
I have never regretted any of the street fights I’ve gotten into. It was survival, I have a family and when someone is trying to give me brain damage, I’m going to do everything I can to see them again.
Great video, Ramsey! I liked how you discussed keeping one's emotions in check! I'm 57 and have had many conversation with younger people, about the very samething! Trying to keep them from making a big mistake! I also think it's pretty cool, how you and your family are in China! Again, great video and take care!
Always loved listening to you speak Ramsey - continuing training post my time at JX but always think back to things you’ve said. Big love from South Wales!
"do i regret not risking permanently injuring me or others over stupid shit that definietly did not need to end in a fight while also risking legal consequences?" some questions lol
Thank you very much for sharing these stories with us, Ramsey! I've gotten bullied too, though I've always managed to control myself to not get into a real fight. Sometimes, I wonder if it was the right thing to do, because the hate builds up when you don't confront these bullies. What do you think?
Asserting ones importance, dominance and superiority is a core element of the human psyche. For many, perhaps even most people, this forms the primary drive for there lives/identity. Particularly men. You could call this pride, and although I personally think it's as dumb as you do. This is not how most people think, this highly emotional basis for one's self worth, that is asserting superiority over others, and building social hierarchies is far more important than money, safety, sustenance or even sex. It is how fascism works, and why the vast majority of people support fascism when it arrives. It is a very human thing.
*I'm currently at that stage in life in which I am trying to control my pride and emotions.* I'm young, I always want to prove something to other people. Sometimes it results to good, sometimes it results to something bad. I must discipline myself and control my emotions. If I grow up not being able to, I may ruin myself and my life.
this is great advice. I think some people in the martial art community and the wider world bring trouble on themselves, then have the audacity to claim they do it of self defence. The reality is put they themselves in danger, and act like everyone has the same problem.
I think it's ok to slowly get used to being able to take harder blows when training, toughening bones and muscles, etc., but that takes time. Of course it's good to spar with those of your same/similar size, conditioning and ability level, etc. But yeah, real fights where you're not getting paid, yeah, that stuff is to be avoided... Because somebody is going to get injured, and injuries are serious business... 😬😔😑👍👍👍👍
Every guy is different. Reasons for wanting to fight someone are as variable as personalities themselves… Reasons for fighting: -Because it’s fun -Because someone needs to be the toughest/prove their toughness to themselves (and others) -Because someone wants to mock someone else -Because someone is angry -Because someone is jealous of someone -Because someone is feeling irritable and surly -Because someone wants to impress a girl -Because someone is an easy target -Because someone is drunk or on drugs -Because someone is desperate to survive -Because someone is protecting themselves or someone else -Because someone wants to teach someone “a lesson” Etc. Yeah, after a certain age (19 or so), it’s just stupid to fight for free…
Standing Man. Bridge of Spies. That one scene taught me a lot. Most people don't realize that most fights can be won without fists and the right words. Walk Away.
the only fights I regret NOT getting into were ones that could have happened when I was in grade school... every fight as an adult that I got into, I regret, and the ones I walked away from were the best endings to confrontations I could hope for.
Pride isn't just something that holds us back or makes us not think clearly. It just depends on how and when you use it. Like my friends will tell you, I have a lot of pride. My pride comes from knowing what I am good at, and I am not just good, I strive to be as good as I can in the things I like or do. If i am out done, I don't get mad, I may be upset with myself just a bit for not being better, but then I just practice harder to get better. But if it is something that I can never beat, I still aim to beat it, but all the while not caring if I ever do. (Like in a video game, a team shooting game, in my opposing team, there was this guy that was much better than me. So I kept going after him, hunting him, knowing that I was going to be beaten. I didn't care, I wanted to learn from him, how can I get better. I learned a bit from that short time I spent against him, lasting longer against him and getting closer to beating him; I never did win. My friend picked up that this same guy keeps killing me and asked if I wanted to team up or needed help, I refused. That was my pride.) But my pride, knowing how good I am, how good I can be, it often gives me fear. Fear of showing what I can do because I want people to see what I can do, not my failure or shortcomings. I want people to praise me for being good. So I either have to be impulsive or in a situation where nobody cares or expects good of me, or I have to be around those that already know what I have to offer but don't care if I don't live up to the expectation that I have set for myself. But I have to be able to let go and accept if I can't do well. Like it is easier for me to open up in games because, it is just a game. But when it comes to showing the things I can do in life... If I could let go of my pride, a trait that has helped me push to develop my talents, and not care if I fail and it gets hurt, I certainly could do so much more. But I find it hard to let it go when using the skills that it was there to help create. So I hold two strong forms of pride in myself. Some of it deserved for who I am and what I have and can accomplish, pushing me to become better. But then I have pride that will not allow for me to fail in things I feel matter, holding me back. But back against the wall, I make sure I make the choice that will help the most, even at the cost of self. I understand the pros and cons of pride. The problem with many people today is they have too much of the wrong type of pride. Or they don't pick and choose when to let it go; might be because they don't know how.
ER medical professional here. Don't get into street fights. No one's going to stab, shoot, or bludgeon you in the ring. In the ring the opponents buddies aren't going to gang up on you and beat the snot out of you.
The ending sentiment is the best part IMO. Because it is always people who don't know how to fight who are more willing to get into them. A practical martial artist understands the violence of fighting and how dangerous it can be at any given moment, this is why we don't fight. Yes we are confident we will win, but we understand that one miss judgement can not only get yourself knocked out, on the streets, it could kill you even if the other guy did not intend that. There is something called the Dunning-Kruger Effect and this REALLY applies to fighting, so much.
Couldn't agree more. Pride/ego is the main reason why the majority of the fights happen. You see this kind of thing almost everywhere. Especially online when people think they're invincible. Ego and pride will only slow you down when learning a skill. Many years ago I was a member of a drawing forum and they had a feedback section. So if you drew something you ask for feedback and post your artwork. Most times beginners had no idea how to draw so if they drew a character it didn't look good, proportions are wrong, clueless about anatomy etc. And most guys couldn't handle the feedback they received, they got so angry and upset. Sometimes they will even threaten to kill you or to track you down and lit up your house. There was one guy who had ruined his entire art career just because of this. He asked for feedback, well the character he made had some serious anatomy issues. He even drew non existing muscle groups. So I pointed this out, he lashed back. Before I knew it the topic was nearly 10 pages big. He threatened almost the entire staff and members just because we pointed out the errors in his artwork. He thought that he was so good but he really wasn't. If he followed the advice he got he would become a better artist. Sometimes when I see shit like that on the internet I really wonder how these people react in real life if someone would tell them the same thing? The guys name got on a blacklist and he won't get hired for a job. Reason why I mentioned this is what Ramsey mentioned doesn't only happen in Martial Arts but almost everywhere where a skill is involved.
once i started to learn to box in my early 20s im happy i wasnt a drama seeker as a teenager/kid. now with a grown/responsible attitude and outlook on fighting. im happy with not starting ego fights in the streets growing up. and using boxing for only self/family defense and maybe a boxing tournament in the future.
Related to this a lot. I want to start training in martial arts but I don’t need too bc my ability to be level headed, logical, and humble. Never have I ever gotten into a fight with a stranger or even someone at school. I’m more drawn to the self employment aspect of martial arts.
As a wrestler and lifelong competitor I hated losing. Problem is that I wrestled a weight class up because I couldn't beat the guy in my weight class. But my school needed a 170 lber. I weighed in regularly at around 152 or 158. I fought up from people cutting down. I won 2 matches over 3 yrs doing that. But my skill is there. And now that I weigh more I can relate. But highschool me didn't understand why I wasn't winning. I had the skill. I pinned partners bigger than me in practice. But real time against someone baffled me. My moves didn't work. But I at the time didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't understand that I was was wrestling almost 2 weight classes above me.
Great strong message. I walked away from a fight 2 days ago. The other guy was in the wrong. 2 things went through my head. I feared the monster inside me was going to kill him, or I was going to get shot and die after I beat him down. Either outcome, we both would of lost something. My pride was hurt, but being available for my kids is more important than my pride.
I love these videos I've had people challenge me to a fight and I've walked away because I thought it was stupid to fight for pride and the guy acted like he was so tough like he believed he scared me but in reality I just thought it was stupid and not worth my attention. I'm glad Ramsey points out that true martial artist don't fight for pride and no reward besides stupid pride.
Ramsey, in situations like the one you describe with your daughter where do draw the line? I have found that since I became a father there are times I want to smack my kid upside the head, but there also isn't anything that I wouldn't do for him. Including fighting. To explain myself VERY briefly, I have the equivalent of zero experience fighting. I have very little training, and would be far from confident in the outcome of a physical altercation (which I plan to get more training since I started watching your youtube channel, thank you for that inspiration). But I find myself having an emotional / knee jerk reaction goading me to intervene on my child's behalf in situations that I really, in my opinion, shouldn't. How do you quiet that internal response, and when you do so where do you draw a hard line?
in jujitsu i noticed a lot of people had the mind set of getting to a certain belt me personally i aim to learn as much as possible and improve my self i see the belts as an image and a marker to how far you have gotten and something that comes along the way i think what actually matters is the things you learn and the experience you have to quote my self "id rather be a white belt that has the experience knowledge and fun rather then be a black belt with none of that" i always think when sparing that if im going to loose im going to give them hell and if im going to win then i hope they give me as much hell as i would them also what are your thoughts on the thing mc gregger did with the smashing the bus window with a hand truck? the way i see it is he could have just simply fought them got paid and would not have a jail sentence
What are your thoughts on Combat Jiu jitsu (no-gi BJJ with Palm strikes allowed) as a method of doing light sparring against a fully resisting opponent for strike awareness on the ground? A lot of the things that don't work in the ring are obviously bad in Combat Jiu jitsu, meanwhile the amount of danger the slaps present is nowhere near as much as full elbows or Punches. Eddie Bravo has the CJJ worlds videos up on his youtube channel so you can see if it still teaches more bad habits for MMA/street fights
Hi Yoda! Wiser than look. Just adding my own view, that pride holds as, not pushing forward. For a fighter it is often failure and disappointment, that pushes more, makes try more, fight harder. Uncomfortable zone. And like Tyson put it, learn to love doing that you hate.
"ego just means self". Kind of sort of. It had some quite specific meanings in psychodynamic models psychology. These tried to model different parts of the brain (initially, I believe separating the ego, the id, and the superego; with the "id" being your base desires, your ego in some sense being your actions and the superego being what you *should do*). Now psychodynamic ideas are varied and kind of contentious so this term may have many definition. I would agree that the meaning "self-regard" or "impression of the opinions others hold of you" do not line up with this meaning.
Regret being physically bullied not responding. Used cane to beat two bullies who kicked my cane when I had bad back and knee. But, lost fights with one punch landed twice on me Needed youtube back in the 70's
Man, I always find your videos very inspiring, shame I live way too far away, I would have loved to do some training with you (even though I know full well I'm not at all good at martial arts).
@@RamseyDewey Amen to that! I'm now mid-way losing some 25kgs of excess affection for food... you know, a good food plan and exercise. Joined a gym to do a course they call 'total body', basically aerobics + light weights + abs, once a week weights and after that they let me use their fitboxe punchbag for some fun. Nothing special, just trying some punches, elbows, knees and kicks, I'm loving the feeling of moving my body with more freedom and control than a fes months ago. Work in progress. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your thougs and experience Mr. Dewey but, is Pride in general something bad? Does it make us think about others less worth? Can people not be good? Greetings
Ramsey very good advise about not getting in street fights , because I regret getting in a street figth when I was 18 old till this day I regret, because I end up in san Quentin on Christmas eve i just glad the guy i shot didn't died ,and only got 5 years not life .figthing on the street is not worth it Mr Ramsey ty for you advise very intelligent
Ultimately, win a fight without fighting - Sun Tzu In training, do the best you can. In real life situations, pick your battles. It is not cowardice to know when is not a good time to fight. ( Collateral damage - family) However, there are some fights you cannot walk away from. Good video Ramsey
It's quite poetically ironic that in order to pay medical bills you started fighting
I know, right? I had to spend my very first fighters purse getting my left ear stitched back on at the ER.
anéchoïque pfft of clurse i don't mean to say it's deserved, i meant that it is irony on a more subtle level worthy of poetry
jimmy alderson It's more like reality and understanding that you are not free at all and you have to fight for your rights.
@@RamseyDewey Now thats called Murphys Law !😂
Only in a country without state funded health care.
The greatest damage a bully can do is rob you of your humanity. Temper problems, confidence problems, misdirected emotional overload...callousness. Messed for life. Lucky if you can get therapy. I'm glad you still have so much of yours (humanity!). Thanks for the video.
@Merika Ramocan I don't know if I can help but I understand that feeling. My bully in primary school was one of my friends, he would bully me and then gaslight me into staying friends with him and it took me a while to get out of that. I think focusing on some aspect of self improvement can help. Learn a new language, teach yourself how to code, do martial arts, anything you enjoy. I think that helps to move forward and focus on your own growth
What a great video! Thx for sharing
I managed to talk my way out of a lot of fights due to being aware that injury was sure to follow. At times the ego/pride wants to fight but I keep it in check. What am I proving and to whom? Some moron? Great talk Ramsey.
Danny Mecanovic this is how i think about it, its not about proving anything but am i brave enough or a coward? is my way of thinking wrong? honestly every fight i've been into im was scared af lmao but i fight bcs i know im not scared to my opponent but i just scared to get hurt.
I understand..
Had two real street-fights in my life. Both were totally dump. Both situations were so strange.
1. Situation - A stupid guy out of my town had to pay money to a friend of mine because he stole something from him (actually he stole something from his parents). His parents were that kind to just say, "hey man just give us the money or the thing back and we won't have to tell the police that you stole". This guy was known for fighting almost every weekend. His teeth and whole face looked like that too. Everyone knew he was an idiot. He didn't want to pay it and visited a party when me and my friends just had fun. Noone thought about that and all of the sudden he came there and brought some guys with him. They all wanted to fight. You can tell that because once we were talking someone behind me said "Who was the one who wants the money?!". I turned and his fist already arrived my face. He did not wait for an answer. He just suckerpunched me and chaos arrived :D. My friends tried the best to help me but i think 6 guys all of the sudden beat me down. - They ran away and the police found all of them. Thats it.
2. Situation (maybe one month later) - One friend of mine and me went to a party. It was fine. We drank a few beer and 1 o'clock at night we went home. At the entrance a lady puked we went by and watched (not starring or something - just walking by and take a quick look without stopping) just in case we could help. But the situation was clear. Her friends, i think 4 or 5 guys were there and caring. So no need to stop and talk or ask if we could help. The Taxi's were maybe 10foot in front of that entrance. Once we passed a loud scream sounded right behind us. One of her friends, totally drunk, had the illusion that we laughed about her. Man. In his mind he must have been a white knight. -.- He ran right towards us with three of his friends. They began to push us with us all the time saying "hey man we did not laugh, we only checked for a second if everything is alright!!!! Calm down please!" . Because we already were on the street and a taxi came by i had to go to the other side. Suddenly me and my friend were devided and i had to watch how he punched my friend in the face. From that moment i saw red. Once the taxi was out of my way i ran over and knocked him out. Now we had all the others against us but the bad experience (situation 1) taught me. Stay together and knock out whoever tries to harm you or your friends if nothing else helped. And so i did that. Adrenalin went wild within my blood and i knocked 3 of them out. Jumped onto the forth and pushed his head on the street, I tried to talk to him that this is their fault but i couldn't talk, i scream that. And my friend kept the 5th one away from me because he was about to choke me. I am glad that a 6th guy came up to us and pulled his friends (the other 5 guys) away and ended that mess. My friend and i went straight to a taxi, thats it.
I really hate to beat someone up. For real. I always fear that i would injur them seriously, even while fighting! I always try to talk about it and de-escalate the situation. I mean they are grown people. Adults! Those should know better ways instead of fighting like cavemen. So the only reason why i would take a fight is that someone hurts my beloved or myself. It is the last way.
Danny Mecanovic what I hate is when someone trash talk you, you trash talk them back and they want to fight. You then try to talk your way out of the fight
I always ended up in a fight because I can't talk shit. I doesn't have any charisma and social skills.
I once talked my way out of a fight. Didn't stop them going round telling everyone at school they put me in a wheelchair. A fair surprise to me when I walked into school the next day unharmed 😂
I imagine that was more of a surprise to those that believed it.
Once you experience violence you change your mind about it,that is truth.We all like to play war as kids but when actually go to place when you can get killed for real and when you realise that, you change a lot.
Lol okay Rambo
Depends on the individual, never underestimate some people's lack of self preservation
I been fighting for 5 years but if I ever got In a street fight I’d be scared and would mentally freeze
@@josuebrown6001 That's true with a lot of people that have been strictly in controlled situations, they've never actually come- up against someone who's truly trying to hurt them .
It's good you have enough humility to admit that to yourself,
if you couldn't admit that to yourself you couldn't begin to overcome that.
Dang it. Now I'm binge watching all of your videos.
If anyone has a problem with you, just ask yourself the question "why would i care about that ?" And you'll live a way less stressing life, i swear
That is a basic tenet of Stoicism.
@@threethrushes Damn, you beat me to it. Precisely, sir.
„You dont get famous with Street fighting“
Kimbo slice: hold my Beer
Kimbo slice actually made money from his street fights.I grew up in the same area as him.
Thats not a street fight , thats an underground entertaining fight busines thats why he is famous thats why he made money
@@omarmagdy4179 Yeah like M.M UFL n streetbeef
Fighting as a sport can be seen as a game and its fkn amazing its really fun, either to watch or practise as a hobby.
Fighting in the streets same as racing in the streets, its a fun fantasy to make films about but in reality its just too dangerous can be fetal and there are no rules which means anyone with a knife or a lucky single punch can kill you no matter how great of a fighter you are, so its more like gambling instead of fighting.
exactly and hitting your head on concrete will kill anybody. that's what happens in most fights in the streets.
Not true man at all
I got knocked out and hit my head on concrete can’t remember I was out cold but my friend told me
Then my friend said he tried picking me up and I fell back down on my head and got knocked out again
And I’m alive wont say I’m not retarded but I’m alive hehehe not funny at all
Actually :(
I wish every self-defense class and seminar started with a speech like this. You win 100% of the fights you don't get in.
Nothing wrong with walking away from a fight. Always remember, your opponent may not know what you know when it comes to fighting, but you don't know what he knows about fighting either.
I'm very proud of the fact that I haven't been in a street fight in 41 years. I've avoided numerous conflicts and dangerous situations because of my street smarts. I have turned more than a few threatening people into my buddies (at least that's what I made them believe). I accidentally walked into one situation that probably would have had some great fighters pissing in their pants. Sometimes when you're outnumbered (and outgunned), the only way out, is to never stop thinking and using your charm, intelligence and wits to think your way out of impossible situations.
I have done this several times in my life and I'm telling you, the feeling of surviving purely by your wits, is much better than the feeling of beating someone up. Street survival is much more of a mental game than a physical game.
Sun Tzu says the best way to win a fight is to do it without a combat. As a kid i didn't have the social skills and matureness to do so, but as i grew older and learned that social skills were actually a thing (and therefore can be improved while staying true to myself). Glad that you remind folks that self defense is not only out-punching your foes. Combat is a last resort, which is why is good to have other tools that are safer.
I was at a party last weekend and some guy tried to fight me.. Walked up to me and flicked me in the face.. I've been training for sometime now and I'm confident I could of won. The next day I was so proud of myself for being able to stay calm and walk away from the situation because in my past I've always been quick to rage and quick to fight. In a way that moment felt a bit like a milestone for me.
If you're worried about picking fights with strangers remember, most mass shooters appear normal before they suddenly snap, most rape victims knew their attackers. You have to worry about people you know too.
The only two "street" fights I had to fight in as an adult, were with people I knew. Both attacked me so it was far passed talking or me being able to walk away.
So yeah, you're completely right.
i admire your honesty, you ve just became my hero , and as a judoka i think the same as you about fights , by the way when one as compete a lot we dont feel the need of agression . when i was much younger i love fight in the school yards because i could used my judo skills and defeat the other guy easy a big throw and maybe a pinn or a shocke ( never armbars ) because the damage is to obvsiouse and it could be heard by my judo school . but i d love the sheering and the reputation . all that have change now i m afraid of street fights . and now having 3 kids , one a girl bjj , a son judoka ( he is in corea now training in a judo university , and another so a muay thai fighter . thank for your insight . oss
A very underrated part of self defence is avoiding unnecessary fights.
As a general rule, once you're out of high school, the chances of you actually getting into fights drops to next to nothing, _provided you aren't going out picking them._
There's obviously exceptions. For example, if your job involves saying "no" to arseholes, the odds increase, but even then ...
Look, if someone wants to fight me, they can start swinging punches and I'll defend myself. Even then, my priority will be to leave as soon as I can. But _agreeing_ to a "streetfight"? That's just stupid. You're volunteering to risk some pretty severe injuries (or worse) while throwing away the legal protection of a self-defence claim.
some folks underestimate the importance of a legal battle
If I was showing up as a noob at a fighting class, I'd expect to lose lol. And actually, that's a relief in many ways, when you realise it's ok to not be great at something initially. When you naturally tend to base your self esteem on competence, it can be a harsh world. Especially when you're like me and like to dabble in everything, and end up not being a real expert in anything. Accepting failure as part of the process and not as some kind of personal flaw in yourself is a real type of freedom.
" You fight like a younger man, nothing held back. Admirable but mistaken "
Love that quote
You know what will make you regret a "street fight"? When the other guy pulls a gun out. I've never apologized for anything as much as I began apologizing then. I apologized for things that had nothing to do with me.
I talked a lot of jazz about how tough I would be in that scenario before it happened. I was 100% wrong.
I personally do not regret my long standing tradition of avoiding situations where I need to violence somebody. Once I was dealing with a rather upset teen who had a hatchet. The situation ended with no blood spilled, no punches thrown.
I didn’t fight, and I won that fight.
Loved that parallelism between your student and the bullies both wanting to win. You can always win, by jumping on your opponent from behind with fourteen friends. Fighting honorably, you'll win some and lose some. Fighting honorably and always winning is a dichotomy.
“Deconstruct what you thought you were so that you can build yourself up into what you want to be.” I'll borrow that one.
Just the way you said "that...garbage..."really brought it home.
This is absolute GOLD Ramsey. So pleased I came across your channel. God bless.
Very good statement! This is the right attitude regarding street fights.
Appreciate the depths you went to on this topic. Some true emotion behind the stories you shared here.
When you talked about being bullied as a kid and about pride and being robbed at gun point it reminded me of a situation, where me and 2 kids got threatened by knife and pistol in the woods and I actually then and there were calmer and more aware of what needs to be done to survive. And that was exactly what you said. Let go of your false pride and do what is necessary and survive.
Its been 8/9 years since I last said it, you have a very commanding voice. And watching this I find it very cathartic at least to me, ASMR-like even.
I also find it amazing that after so long im still learning from you, its amazing. I hope you do more of these vlogs/videos, cause somehow they seem to hit home exactly when needed
Great to hear from you Immy!
man thanks a lot for sharing your experience with us, you have a new subscriber you help people to be better martial artists but also better persons . greetings from mexico
This is gold. Added to play list..
Your stories about those bullies always remind me that in small pockets of the world, some parents are teaching(or rather, not teaching anything at all to) their kids to be monstrous, violent people.
Not with anger, not with pride, but with purpose... spoken like a true warrior!
If you walk away from a fight someone else is trying to start the only thing that might be hurt is your pride.
At the end of the day, he will still get into fights and potentially irreparably damage their own body, there's no need to let him drag you down the same path.
I admire your honesty Ramsey and how despite being well versed in many martial arts you are still advising your followers who many of them are fighters to avoid getting into fights whenever possible, I believe that the true martial artist isn't the one who knows how to punch or how to kick but the one who's capable of controlling himself when angry. Have a nice day.
Excellent display of practical philosophy. Better watch you than most preachers, sometimes. God be with you, coach!
Listening to this triggered memories of being bullied. While it was never this bad I still feel anger eating at me for not having done this or that when I was younger. To this day I feel the need for revenge. That is why I watch you Coach. Coz you have been through all that garbage and seem to have coping mechanisms. I admire you for it.
Intelligent answers. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
it’s five am & I’m pretty tipsy but your conversation style is incredibly smooth, this was a informative video with a lot to say, an array of interesting topics that got brought back around to your main message
🃏definitely enjoying watching some of your older videos this morning :)
I have never regretted any of the street fights I’ve gotten into. It was survival, I have a family and when someone is trying to give me brain damage, I’m going to do everything I can to see them again.
Great video, Ramsey! I liked how you discussed keeping one's emotions in check! I'm 57 and have had many conversation with younger people, about the very samething! Trying to keep them from making a big mistake! I also think it's pretty cool, how you and your family are in China! Again, great video and take care!
Always loved listening to you speak Ramsey - continuing training post my time at JX but always think back to things you’ve said. Big love from South Wales!
Dale? Is that you? How are you man?!
Ramsey Dewey it is! Yes I’m good - missing living in the Far East though! Hope everything is good with you and your family.
"do i regret not risking permanently injuring me or others over stupid shit that definietly did not need to end in a fight while also risking legal consequences?"
some questions lol
Thank you very much for sharing these stories with us, Ramsey! I've gotten bullied too, though I've always managed to control myself to not get into a real fight. Sometimes, I wonder if it was the right thing to do, because the hate builds up when you don't confront these bullies. What do you think?
Just found this channel. Did you win George Takei's voice in a duel? Asking for a friend...
Ramseys awesome, he's our warrior philosopher :)
Lol good one!
Not George Takei.. Seth Macfarlane.
@@irtheLeGiOn Seth's REAL voice !
Could you imagine Stewy ?
You've got it all wrong, it's Mr Smith out of The Matrix! 😎
You are a good person Ramsey, thank you for these videos!
Very interesting, love your videos, always insightful
I really like your approach and your thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
omg wise words (and actions) from an athlete ! Im seriously impressed, ramsey you are not just a good person, you sound like a good teacher
the deconstruct part is gold
do not get into street fights is the best street fighting advice
Coach, you've a great heart!
Asserting ones importance, dominance and superiority is a core element of the human psyche. For many, perhaps even most people, this forms the primary drive for there lives/identity. Particularly men. You could call this pride, and although I personally think it's as dumb as you do. This is not how most people think, this highly emotional basis for one's self worth, that is asserting superiority over others, and building social hierarchies is far more important than money, safety, sustenance or even sex. It is how fascism works, and why the vast majority of people support fascism when it arrives. It is a very human thing.
It is not a core element. It is just a thing that is. But I get that it makes sense to you.
How can you be so calm and smooth? Hard to believe someone would ever rob you.
Love your thoughts and your channel, Ramsey! Fighting to make extra money for hospital bills might be an endless loop, though, LoL.
*I'm currently at that stage in life in which I am trying to control my pride and emotions.*
I'm young, I always want to prove something to other people. Sometimes it results to good, sometimes it results to something bad.
I must discipline myself and control my emotions. If I grow up not being able to, I may ruin myself and my life.
this is great advice.
I think some people in the martial art community and the wider world bring trouble on themselves, then have the audacity to claim they do it of self defence. The reality is put they themselves in danger, and act like everyone has the same problem.
nice video man i love your personality. keep making it i hope your chnl someday will become big, surely you deserved it.
Great advice man!
I think it's ok to slowly get used to being able to take harder blows when training, toughening bones and muscles, etc., but that takes time. Of course it's good to spar with those of your same/similar size, conditioning and ability level, etc.
But yeah, real fights where you're not getting paid, yeah, that stuff is to be avoided... Because somebody is going to get injured, and injuries are serious business... 😬😔😑👍👍👍👍
Excellent video. I also agree on your assessment of Pride. It does cloud peoples judgement a lot!
Every guy is different. Reasons for wanting to fight someone are as variable as personalities themselves…
Reasons for fighting:
-Because it’s fun
-Because someone needs to be the toughest/prove their toughness to themselves (and others)
-Because someone wants to mock someone else
-Because someone is angry
-Because someone is jealous of someone
-Because someone is feeling irritable and surly
-Because someone wants to impress a girl
-Because someone is an easy target
-Because someone is drunk or on drugs
-Because someone is desperate to survive
-Because someone is protecting themselves or someone else
-Because someone wants to teach someone “a lesson”
Etc.
Yeah, after a certain age (19 or so), it’s just stupid to fight for free…
Standing Man. Bridge of Spies. That one scene taught me a lot. Most people don't realize that most fights can be won without fists and the right words. Walk Away.
the only fights I regret NOT getting into were ones that could have happened when I was in grade school... every fight as an adult that I got into, I regret, and the ones I walked away from were the best endings to confrontations I could hope for.
I try to avoid fights
.
But truth be told if I'm walking with my mum or wife and someone wants to harm them then I've a duty to defend not walk away
Just found your channel after debunking Master Wong videos. This is my favorite video I've seen from you.
Pride isn't just something that holds us back or makes us not think clearly. It just depends on how and when you use it. Like my friends will tell you, I have a lot of pride. My pride comes from knowing what I am good at, and I am not just good, I strive to be as good as I can in the things I like or do. If i am out done, I don't get mad, I may be upset with myself just a bit for not being better, but then I just practice harder to get better. But if it is something that I can never beat, I still aim to beat it, but all the while not caring if I ever do. (Like in a video game, a team shooting game, in my opposing team, there was this guy that was much better than me. So I kept going after him, hunting him, knowing that I was going to be beaten. I didn't care, I wanted to learn from him, how can I get better. I learned a bit from that short time I spent against him, lasting longer against him and getting closer to beating him; I never did win. My friend picked up that this same guy keeps killing me and asked if I wanted to team up or needed help, I refused. That was my pride.)
But my pride, knowing how good I am, how good I can be, it often gives me fear. Fear of showing what I can do because I want people to see what I can do, not my failure or shortcomings. I want people to praise me for being good. So I either have to be impulsive or in a situation where nobody cares or expects good of me, or I have to be around those that already know what I have to offer but don't care if I don't live up to the expectation that I have set for myself. But I have to be able to let go and accept if I can't do well. Like it is easier for me to open up in games because, it is just a game. But when it comes to showing the things I can do in life... If I could let go of my pride, a trait that has helped me push to develop my talents, and not care if I fail and it gets hurt, I certainly could do so much more. But I find it hard to let it go when using the skills that it was there to help create.
So I hold two strong forms of pride in myself. Some of it deserved for who I am and what I have and can accomplish, pushing me to become better. But then I have pride that will not allow for me to fail in things I feel matter, holding me back. But back against the wall, I make sure I make the choice that will help the most, even at the cost of self. I understand the pros and cons of pride.
The problem with many people today is they have too much of the wrong type of pride. Or they don't pick and choose when to let it go; might be because they don't know how.
True some fights I could not simply walk away from
I agree fighting is stupid. Why risk injuries that would affect your life forever over something stupid
Bless you Ramsey. Seriously.
this was great I really needed to hear this as a young man
ER medical professional here. Don't get into street fights. No one's going to stab, shoot, or bludgeon you in the ring. In the ring the opponents buddies aren't going to gang up on you and beat the snot out of you.
The ending sentiment is the best part IMO. Because it is always people who don't know how to fight who are more willing to get into them. A practical martial artist understands the violence of fighting and how dangerous it can be at any given moment, this is why we don't fight. Yes we are confident we will win, but we understand that one miss judgement can not only get yourself knocked out, on the streets, it could kill you even if the other guy did not intend that.
There is something called the Dunning-Kruger Effect and this REALLY applies to fighting, so much.
Nonsense, just look at all the MMA fighters getting into fights at bars or clubs
Couldn't agree more. Pride/ego is the main reason why the majority of the fights happen. You see this kind of thing almost everywhere. Especially online when people think they're invincible. Ego and pride will only slow you down when learning a skill. Many years ago I was a member of a drawing forum and they had a feedback section. So if you drew something you ask for feedback and post your artwork. Most times beginners had no idea how to draw so if they drew a character it didn't look good, proportions are wrong, clueless about anatomy etc. And most guys couldn't handle the feedback they received, they got so angry and upset. Sometimes they will even threaten to kill you or to track you down and lit up your house.
There was one guy who had ruined his entire art career just because of this. He asked for feedback, well the character he made had some serious anatomy issues. He even drew non existing muscle groups. So I pointed this out, he lashed back. Before I knew it the topic was nearly 10 pages big. He threatened almost the entire staff and members just because we pointed out the errors in his artwork. He thought that he was so good but he really wasn't. If he followed the advice he got he would become a better artist. Sometimes when I see shit like that on the internet I really wonder how these people react in real life if someone would tell them the same thing? The guys name got on a blacklist and he won't get hired for a job.
Reason why I mentioned this is what Ramsey mentioned doesn't only happen in Martial Arts but almost everywhere where a skill is involved.
once i started to learn to box in my early 20s im happy i wasnt a drama seeker as a teenager/kid. now with a grown/responsible attitude and outlook on fighting. im happy with not starting ego fights in the streets growing up. and using boxing for only self/family defense and maybe a boxing tournament in the future.
Related to this a lot. I want to start training in martial arts but I don’t need too bc my ability to be level headed, logical, and humble. Never have I ever gotten into a fight with a stranger or even someone at school. I’m more drawn to the self employment aspect of martial arts.
As a wrestler and lifelong competitor I hated losing. Problem is that I wrestled a weight class up because I couldn't beat the guy in my weight class. But my school needed a 170 lber. I weighed in regularly at around 152 or 158. I fought up from people cutting down. I won 2 matches over 3 yrs doing that. But my skill is there. And now that I weigh more I can relate. But highschool me didn't understand why I wasn't winning. I had the skill. I pinned partners bigger than me in practice. But real time against someone baffled me. My moves didn't work. But I at the time didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't understand that I was was wrestling almost 2 weight classes above me.
It's cool when you can be funny without even trying...love his vids...👊
You seem so calm, I can't imagine you getting into street fights.
You sound like an 80's voice over from a king fu movie lol. I like this channel.
Great strong message. I walked away from a fight 2 days ago. The other guy was in the wrong. 2 things went through my head. I feared the monster inside me was going to kill him, or I was going to get shot and die after I beat him down. Either outcome, we both would of lost something. My pride was hurt, but being available for my kids is more important than my pride.
Your pride is important enough for you to write a comment on yt telling the world you could have beaten him to death with your bare hands.
I love these videos I've had people challenge me to a fight and I've walked away because I thought it was stupid to fight for pride and the guy acted like he was so tough like he believed he scared me but in reality I just thought it was stupid and not worth my attention. I'm glad Ramsey points out that true martial artist don't fight for pride and no reward besides stupid pride.
Ramsey, in situations like the one you describe with your daughter where do draw the line? I have found that since I became a father there are times I want to smack my kid upside the head, but there also isn't anything that I wouldn't do for him. Including fighting. To explain myself VERY briefly, I have the equivalent of zero experience fighting. I have very little training, and would be far from confident in the outcome of a physical altercation (which I plan to get more training since I started watching your youtube channel, thank you for that inspiration). But I find myself having an emotional / knee jerk reaction goading me to intervene on my child's behalf in situations that I really, in my opinion, shouldn't. How do you quiet that internal response, and when you do so where do you draw a hard line?
Ramsey is a thoughtful, well spoken guy and that indicates to me that he is a great role model for his students.
I got bullied very badly in school as well. It sucks. I am sorry it happened to you as well.
in jujitsu i noticed a lot of people had the mind set of getting to a certain belt me personally i aim to learn as much as possible and improve my self i see the belts as an image and a marker to how far you have gotten and something that comes along the way i think what actually matters is the things you learn and the experience you have to quote my self "id rather be a white belt that has the experience knowledge and fun rather then be a black belt with none of that" i always think when sparing that if im going to loose im going to give them hell and if im going to win then i hope they give me as much hell as i would them also what are your thoughts on the thing mc gregger did with the smashing the bus window with a hand truck? the way i see it is he could have just simply fought them got paid and would not have a jail sentence
What are your thoughts on Combat Jiu jitsu (no-gi BJJ with Palm strikes allowed) as a method of doing light sparring against a fully resisting opponent for strike awareness on the ground? A lot of the things that don't work in the ring are obviously bad in Combat Jiu jitsu, meanwhile the amount of danger the slaps present is nowhere near as much as full elbows or Punches. Eddie Bravo has the CJJ worlds videos up on his youtube channel so you can see if it still teaches more bad habits for MMA/street fights
Preach brother.
Glad to know you don't have malaria, good for you Dewey.
Hi Yoda! Wiser than look. Just adding my own view, that pride holds as, not pushing forward. For a fighter it is often failure and disappointment, that pushes more, makes try more, fight harder. Uncomfortable zone. And like Tyson put it, learn to love doing that you hate.
"ego just means self". Kind of sort of. It had some quite specific meanings in psychodynamic models psychology.
These tried to model different parts of the brain (initially, I believe separating the ego, the id, and the superego; with the "id" being your base desires, your ego in some sense being your actions and the superego being what you *should do*). Now psychodynamic ideas are varied and kind of contentious so this term may have many definition.
I would agree that the meaning "self-regard" or "impression of the opinions others hold of you" do not line up with this meaning.
Regret being physically bullied not responding. Used cane to beat two bullies who kicked my cane when I had bad back and knee. But, lost fights with one punch landed twice on me Needed youtube back in the 70's
"I understand the consequences of violence..." - EXTREME CLOSE UP. Scared me.
Man, I always find your videos very inspiring, shame I live way too far away, I would have loved to do some training with you (even though I know full well I'm not at all good at martial arts).
Well that’s why we train: to get good
@@RamseyDewey Amen to that! I'm now mid-way losing some 25kgs of excess affection for food... you know, a good food plan and exercise. Joined a gym to do a course they call 'total body', basically aerobics + light weights + abs, once a week weights and after that they let me use their fitboxe punchbag for some fun. Nothing special, just trying some punches, elbows, knees and kicks, I'm loving the feeling of moving my body with more freedom and control than a fes months ago.
Work in progress. 🙂
Amen brother
you have a great voice, and an expressive face, when you speak I'm compelled to listen, I think you would make a great actor
Thank you for sharing your thougs and experience Mr. Dewey but, is Pride in general something bad? Does it make us think about others less worth? Can people not be good?
Greetings
Ramsey very good advise about not getting in street fights , because I regret getting in a street figth when I was 18 old till this day I regret, because I end up in san Quentin on Christmas eve i just glad the guy i shot didn't died ,and only got 5 years not life .figthing on the street is not worth it Mr Ramsey ty for you advise very intelligent
Ultimately, win a fight without fighting - Sun Tzu
In training, do the best you can.
In real life situations, pick your battles.
It is not cowardice to know when is not a good time to fight. ( Collateral damage - family)
However, there are some fights you cannot walk away from.
Good video Ramsey