Це відео не доступне.
Перепрошуємо.
Thankful to Still be Here (My Battle with Depression)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 26 лис 2019
- This is a really, really difficult video to share. I've struggled with depression my entire life and one of the most challenging episodes of it came last Thanksgiving when I tried to take my own life. I wanted to talk about the experience both to help destigmatize those of us who suffer from depression, combat some of the misinformation out there about it, as well as talk about the things I did to help myself climb back out of the worst of it so I can hopefully help out other people who suffer from depression and suicidal ideation.
For those of you out there struggling: I see you.
Here's the resource I mentioned that connects low-income people to therapists: openpathcollect...
Support these videos on Patreon: / drexfactorpoi
New to poi? Check out my 9-video beginner series: • Beginner Poi Tutorial ...
Use the promo code "drexfactor" for a discount on your order from Flowtoys
flowtoys.ideva...
Use the promo code "drexfact0r" for a discount on your order from LanternSmith
lanternsmith.co...
or Ultrapoi
ultrapoi.com?aff=drexfact0r
or Emazing Lights
www.emazingligh...
Check out my 1-minute tutorials for bit-sized snippets of poi spinning knowledge: • 1-Minute Poi Spinning ...
Learn how to learn poi in my 5-part series on linear extensions: • Poi Spinning Tutorial:...
Be sure to follow me on Instagram for the latest cutting edge tricks I'm working on: / drexfactor
Big thanks to the Friends of the Channel:
Dark Monk: dark-monk.com
Flowtoys: flowtoys.com
Pyroterra Lighttoys: lighttoys.cz
LMF Props: lmfprops.com
Spinballs: spinballspoi.com
Ultrapoi: ultrapoi.com
A huge thank you to this month's Flow Supporters:
Lane Lillquist
Anonymous
Andrew Hammond
Brian Burg
LiHao Zhang
Clayton Burke
John Gruber
Daniel Popescu
Kelsey Millar
Aric Allen
Arnica
Graham VanBenthuysen
Katie Lee Todd
Iain Farrell
Graham Williams
Sarah Grimsley
Koen Maryns
Aaron Siladi
Matt Schmidt
William David
Mary L Reichel
James A Hughes
Andrés Trevino
Mikey
Antonio Zyx
Chase kristiansen
Anna Gerus
Warren Woodriffe
Amber
Scott McCoy
Tica Bonita
Elizabeth Phillips
MandiLynn Holzbach
Spinsconsin
Kathleen Griswold
Libby
Larnie Bruce
IReverend Brainskan
Po Ting Chen
Flowfests
jimid
Finn Bell
Matthew Riordan
Jim Martin
molly ferrer
Noah Harasz
Jeremiah Johnston
Alexis Krohn
Elizabeth Ellis
Karen Jane
Catoxis
Fikret Manoglu
Sterling Bishop
Jonathan Maltz
Brian Huddleston
JAK Bunny
Nathan Kirschman
Ádám Bakó
Aaron Freeman
Mike Corelli
Michael LaHood
Donler
Laura Conner
Michael Hebert
Alex Ciminian
David
Kelly King
Kimmie Cherry
Kerry Jones Photography
Flow Mayhem
Silver
Hey friends--this was a pretty difficult video to make and I'm still on the fence about whether it's a good idea to share it. A couple things I want to make clear: the first is that I am not an expert on mental health nor a mental health professional. Your journey is going to be your own but I hope some of the places my journey has taken me either gives you ideas or inspires you to seek out the help you need. The second is that this video doesn't constitute consent to talk to me about these issues. They are still deeply personal and it is important that I be able to talk about them when and where I deem fit. Ask me before trying to have this conversation with me and be okay with the answer being no. Setting boundaries is also an essential part of good mental health. Thank you all in advance.
Drex, thank you so much for sharing. I feel a little less alone after having seen this video. I'm glad you're still here.
Thank you for sharing this. Truly. I respect you and I have always looked up to you. you matter.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
As a psychology student and someone who sufferd a lot in my own life, I really get where you come from.
You totally did the right thing.
I hope that it will get better for you and wish you a lot of courage and strength.
You matter, and everyone else woh feels that way matters and I wish that it gets better for each and everyone of you.
keep on fighting. You are so strong, all of you. Don't give yourself up.
I hope this video gets to many people and helps someone getting the help they need.
Wish you all the best.
Thank you.
All love
Sharing my experience with depression helps me not feel so alone and to acknowledge my struggles and get the help necessary. It may not feel like a good idea to be open about these things and I often worry about the same when I share my experiences. But I know that they help others, because it helps me when I know there are others who experience this and I am not alone.
You give so much to this community. Thank you for sticking around.
Thank you for this. I came for poi, but definitely stayed for YOU
Drex, im very happy you took this leap to share a very personal side of you to us. After watching your videos for years, this is the video that really breaks the barrier of you being a random tutorialist. Id also like to let you know that without you here on this planet sharing your knowledge of flow arts, I WOULDNT BE HERE. it was finding poi, being curious, and a drive to learn more that lead me to you channel when i was in an insanely dark time. And YOUR videos helped me hone my skill, and find a sort of purpose, a release. I cant thank you enough for that Drax, and im very thankful for you and that youre still here. Youre the person who breaks everything down to the simplest terms, so even the most unexperienced person could understand. Please hang around for a while, i cant wait to see what ill learn from you next.
Very happy you made the choice to stick around, you’ve already helped me so much in my poi learning journey and will continue too for years to come!!
As a mental health counselor myself, I can't thank you enough for using your platform to share your personal struggles with depression AND for providing viewers with some resources to pursue if they're in need. Stigma remains the largest barrier to people accessing services and your video is going to go a long long way towards helping to chip away at that barrier. Thank you again.
This comment really meant a lot to me. It feels risky sharing this kind of information because you worry you'll be seen as exploiting your mental health issues to get attention or that you don't know enough to talk about them and doing so will do more harm than good. Creating this felt like a step in the right direction so it means a lot to hear someone who is a professional saying that it is helpful. I have a lot of respect for the work you do--please keep it up! And on behalf of the people whose lives I'm sure you've touched: thank you.
It was a great idea to share it. Thank you
Thank you for sharing, it means a lot. ❤️ I started therapy two weeks ago, I hope it will help me too.
Good luck! It can be hard work but I guarantee it's worth it!
I have bi-polar, I understand this struggle all too well.
Thank you for sharing your story, it means a lot to hear other people’s journeys. These illnesses like to make us feel alone and we’re not. ❤️
So very true. And the more we talk about the issues we face, the more we break through that isolation. I hope you're finding the resources you need to work through your own battle.
Hey Drex, I've been a long time fan but have never commented and I just wanted to say that I've always loved your videos. You have inspired me time over, over, over, and over again .
I am glad you are here as well.
Keep it up man.
I always look forward to your thoughts and ideas about anything that you take the time to share.
Been learning from you for a few years online and this video touched me deeply. Thank you for everything and for your message today. Vulnerability + courage = strength! Glad you're here.
Really needed this. Your videos are inspiring always.
I really, really needed to watch this. Thank you for making this video.
Thank you for watching it. I hope it helps you in your own journey.
Thank you for helping to break through the illusion that our mental illnesses like to create. That we're alone and others don't see or understand what we're going through. You make such a difference to this community and I'm so glad you're here.
I have had massive depression since I can remember. You are right it's a battle every single day. I'm in a better place now but I've had a couple times in my thirty years on this planet where I've almost ended it. Thank God though I was able to go to a place where I was placed into inpatient care for a week. The best thing to ever happen to me☺️
Not much of a commenter but I wanted to reach out to you after seeing this video. Somehow society places a stigma on mental health problems. Videos like yours are so, so important to correct that. I love your channel and I love your personality. Keep on fighting!
Hi Drex. I am thankful you're still here, creating and inspiring! Thank you for being public with your struggle, it's not easy. You're an artist and I hope it means something that we're all in awe of your dedication, humanity, connectedness, and kindness. You put out a lot for the poi and spin art community and you're in so many people's journey in poi. I hope that brings you comfort, and happiness.
Like most people, I had no idea you had depression. I too wrestle with depression. I'm glad you decided to stick around. It definitely takes putting in work to help get us through. Thanks for sharing your story. The more we speak out, the more we can help each other find answers.
Not many people do. There originally was a section of this video where I suggested people go back and watch my videos from this period last year because I don't fit the picture many people have of what deep depression looks like. None of my friends (with maybe one exception) knew that I was suicidal and even those who knew I was struggling really didn't know what to do to help me. One of the reasons I wanted to share this video was to show people that depression doesn't always look like what they expect. Like you said, the more we speak out, the more people understand what this battle is and how to tackle it.
So happy you live and thank you for sharing. Thank you for your raw honesty and for sharing your resources and tools. We all have our demons (anxiety, depression, body dysmorphic disorder, OCD and PTSD here 🙋🏼♀️) but sharing helps to ease the stigma and gives others the courage to share. Thanks a million for the content you create. You are amazing!
Wow, when I went through my first depression we were still in the age where it was shameful and it meant you were defective in some way. I can't tell you the number of people who told me to snap out of it, pray it away, exercise it away etc. I am so glad that more public figures like you are feeling the ability to just come right out and talk about it.
I got back into poi after about a 5 year break. I live. A really good life, but this year I had a lot of loss packed into a single week. It spiraled my depression out of control and I have been struggling to stabilize myself since. Poi has been a big help, as well as being open about my struggles. Hang in there and thanks for sharing, like poi, my life is full of stalls and isolation, it helps to know we aren't alone.
Been there. I'm glad you're still here. You matter. I'm glad we're still here. Thank you for being so real.
I am incredibly grateful that you are still here. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for sharing your flow journey with all of us. From one survivor to another, I am really proud of you for overcoming that dark time and making it out alive. Much love, friend.
Happyy thanksgiving everyone ❤
I really needed this right now. Been fighting depression in a major way, trying to get help hasn't panned out so far, and it's been getting really hard to hold on. Knowing others out there have made it through gives me hope I desperately need.
I didn't go deeply into this in the video, but getting to the point where I had a therapist helping me wasn't actually an easy process. I had no idea how to choose between the therapists listed on the Open Path Collective website and there were none that had a practice terribly close to me. I came close to going to one who was set up in a neighboring city but the travel time meant that it would have taken an entire day to go visit them. After many emails, dead-ends, and close calls I finally found someone and managed to get in to see them. I know a lot of people for whom even that wasn't the last step. They had to meet several therapists in-person before they found someone that worked for them.
It seems like a cruel joke that as we are suffering and struggling that this additional hurdle exists for us to clear but unfortunately it's a part of the battle. Keep pushing. Keep working on it. Believe me, I know it's hard. But when you get the help you need I can promise you it will be worth it. I'm proud of you for keeping up the fight.
@@DrexFactor so, an update: After a really bad Thanksgiving, I was able to get a session with a psychiatrist by way of virtual visit (great resource when local options dont pan out) got on proper medication, and am starting to do better. I just wanted to thank you again for your encouragement.
@@dantemoose420 I'm so glad to hear you've taken action. Remember: this part can involve some work, too. It may take some work to find the right mental health professional for you but the fact that you're trying it out is an amazing first step. Fingers crossed for you!
It's certainly not for everyone, but psilocybin has been a great benefit for me. I've tried antidepressants, I'm skilled at meditation, and I'm always in a positive mood, but my neurochemistry left me feeling dead inside for years.
Psilocybin works on the 5-HT2A receptor, which is associated with multiple disorders that I have. My natural interest in spirituality led me to this natural treatment. With occasional doses, I was able to stabilize my receptors again. I finally feel alive again.
Additional note, never mix antidepressants and psychedelics.
I'm very glad that psilocybin has helped you combat your mental disorders but I do want to stick a pin in this one for people reading--self-medication can be incredibly dangerous. It can work, but it's very much a roll of the dice when it does. Seeking help from a professional greatly increases the odds of finding help (and I'll note that when saying professional here, this can also include spiritual resources as well). Finding your way out of that hole by yourself can be incredibly difficult, so I'm glad that you were able to find what you needed to accomplish that.
Glad you're still here. it's always nice to look back on something like that and know that you're doing so much better now than you had ever thought possible at the time and hopefully that hindsight will come to mind if you ever find yourself doubting yourself again. Things can always get better :)
I've still be working through some low-grade depression this year but it's worlds away from where I was last year. I definitely had a couple moments yesterday looking around me and really appreciating how much different a place I was in than at that same time last year. I'm lucky that I have some amazing friends to spend Thanksgiving with yesterday.
@@DrexFactor That's wonderful! Hopefully those good moments become more frequent and the bad moments less :) wishing you the best!
Grateful for all Drex has shared and is sharing with us over the years. And also very grateful for Openpathcollective.org for being avaialble for him and for other folks. With that in mind, went over to their webpage and made a contribution. It occurs to me that if even a small percentage of the folks subscribed to and benefiting from this channel and the work he shares here were to visit the Open Path site and make even a small donation, it might make a really important difference in the lives of the next folks that need their assistance.
I hope that is not inappropriate to mention -- Drex, if I have overstepped here at all I apologize, and feel free to delete this or ask me to -- however that works on UA-cam.
Drex, you are very much loved. Please know that. You have no idea how much of an impact you’ve made in our lives.
so glad you are still here with us man. meeting you almost 2 years ago was one of my highlights of poi spinning journey . and being able to randomly run into you locally and spin with you and watch you spin. means alot to me. every time we talk i get to see how beautiful of a person you truly are. stay amazing and stay blessed brother. you mean alot to alot of people.
I appreciate not only your willpower to stay with us, but also your courage. I had to call suicide hotline in April and my life has changed ever since. It's hard enough dealing with depression on your own, but to talk to your community about it and share your story is awe-inspiring. Shows leaps and bounds about your character and I'm glad I watch such a wholesome human-being. Thank you 🙏🏾
Dude. You are so nice. That’s what matters. Don’t be a pushover. Do what you are doing. You inspire people everywhere.
I’ve had the worst week of my life with a breakup and, definitely financial issues as well. I’ve been grinding this poi as a complete newb. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me sane and I’ve learned so much from you because your teachings are pure. You really care for your students, and YOU have inspired me. Great job man. Keep it up
You are loved Even more for for opening up, Drex. I think I only survive because I jog daily, stretch, cry. Mostly, my heart cries for how some groups are marginalized. Thank you for sharing
I'm very thankful that you are here, and that you made this video. My brother took his own life, so the more men who talk about mental health, the better. Thank you.
Hey Drex, just wanted to say that it really takes a lot to do such a personal video content. I suffered a long term depression myself and I totally understand what you have been through. What makes that period of time so hard is that we feel like no one can feel us or understand what we are going through, but this is absolutely incorrect because we are never alone. Thank God I made it through my depression and I've never been more grateful. Here is a short story of how I did it. It all began by trying to change my ideology about life. I learned that since all your surrounding situations is a given, where you cannot control anything about it, it would be really hectic trying to change that. In-fact the only thing you can control is how you feel about your surroundings which can be simplified in the following "Don't wait for the storm to pass, instead learn how to dance in the rain". This only gives me one meaning, that when we get depressed its by choice and not because someone made us depressed. How you feel about things is your own responsibility, which got me thinking that there was no one to blame but myself and had to forgive and let go of all the grudges I had towards certain people. So that leaves me to myself and in order to be able to feed my soul and regrow out of depression, I had to finally forgive myself for what I did to myself. This transition was not easy because it takes courage and a will to become who you want to be. Aside from this I would like to personally thank you because you inspired me to start playing Poi and i've been watching all your videos and contents. I believe like a lot of other fans that you are doing great and we love your content bro, just hang in there and tomorrow will be a brighter day. Have a good one friend and take care of your self. I hope I made a difference.
On the one hand this does resonate but on the other I think it's important to note that it's not necessarily an either/or situation. While my depression is absolutely something that comes from an internal place, there are external variables that can influence it by exacerbating it or easing some of the problems associated with it. Having friends be dismissive of depression can reinforce the notion that nobody is listening and make it more difficult to seek help. And internalizing depression completely can also leave us vulnerable to people around us that exploit us. I've known many people that suffer from depression and anxiety as a result of going through abusive relationships or friendships where their abuser works to convince them that they themselves are to blame for all the negative feelings they are having. One of the best tools I've gotten out of going to therapy the ability to begin identifying these situations and working to set boundaries with them. I think that ignoring this type of dynamic is one of the great dangers of seeking a fully internal answer to mental health problems, but that there are situations where it is appropriate. Thank you for sharing and I'm glad to hear this has helped you come to a better place in your life!
Much love drex thank you for all you do
I'm happy you're still with us.
You are valuable and worthy.
Namaste friend.
Thank you so much for sharing this. A couple years ago I also went through a very tough time which really messed up my mental health. I began to have severe and repeated anxiety and panic attacks, as well as wonder if the world would have been different without me. I was almost taken from my family and dealt with other family trama. For the next year and a half, my mental health began to deteriorate more and more. Eventually things calmed down, but I still suffered greatly from what I've experienced. I eventually stumbled upon poi, and went ahead and told myself "I need to try new things," as I've just been hidden for the last years, and I went ahead and ordered a pair. I found your channel and began to learn all these poi tricks from you. I also realized when I would spin poi, my worries would fade, and I was at peace. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for teaching me. You have really been a major factor in turning my life around. I have been doing a lot better with my mental health lately, and I continue to spin poi, just about to come up on a year of it. I'm so thankful for poi and you 💜
I'm so glad to hear that poi and more specifically the content that I create has helped you on your own journey! Keep up the good work!
Thank you for sharing your battle. It means a lot to know that we are not alone. Love all the way from Turkey!
Glad you have pulled through and continue to create as well as elevate yourself to new ways of life .Very brave and bold issue to speak on,Muchlove brother!Last Sept. I was also overcoming some bouts with depression Crazy to watch for me as I have struggled off and on for 20 years or so with depression and anxiety,very severe at times and often for no apparent reason or very minor issues.Really awesome to still have you around,keep on pushing into the light!you are appreciated !
Hey brother I've been there and I have very bad scars to remind me everyday of the pain life has brought me in the past I also suffer from depression and drug dependence which sucks but believe it or not I started spinning poi to keep my mind off the stuff that was just eating at my soul and watching your channel helped me alot learn new tricks and learning those tricks really held my concentration and I felt great when I finally nailed them after trying some of them for so so damn long but your channel and content has believe it or not helped me through a very hard time in my life so thank you keep your head up your a amazing poi artist and make the best tutorials on poi on UA-cam and you don't have any idea how much your content helps people through stuff
Thank you so much for your sincerity, and thank you so much for your courage. I admire you for your talents, and for your strength, that despite fighting these inner invisible battles you have managed to motivate thousands of people around the world, myself included, to train, and become better at poi. I am battling with a minor (I guess) form of depression, and when I saw this video in my feed, I thought to myself "this is a sign, Ivan, watch this video". And it really helped me. Thank you so much once again for not taking your life last November and happy Thanksgiving to you too. I will keep doing what I love, and working on myself, and my struggles. If you are ever in Barcelona, Spain - feel free to ping, I would love to meet up and talk life. Big hugs,
Ivan Loza
We love you drex! Thanks for everything you do. :-)
Thanks for sharing and I hope you know we want to see you here and want the best for you. Take care
Thanks so much for your honest video. I only recently became a subscriber to your channel, and was inspired to buy my first sets of poi (as part of my 37th birthday last Saturday!) because I felt like you were the only instructor who explained the art in a way that was accessible to me. Other videos jump right into difficult tricks or rush through the process, but yours are patient and encouraging and filled with loads of helpful tips for everyone. I appreciate your deep and pround insight into yourself and your experience, and for sharing such a personal part of your life on your channel. Much aloha to you on this Thanksgiving and for many years to come! Thank you for being my teacher. 🙃
Happy Thanksgiving to you also. thank you for sharing, I battle myself every day. Proud to be here today! Thankful for you!!
I'm thankful for you Drex thank you for what you do and true love for the passion my friend. 🙏
Beautiful video bud. I really appreciate the courage it took to share this.
Hi, I, just like you live with depression. That said.. We need this kinds of videos... We who live with and deal with depression needs to hear from other on how to get by day by day. Not that there is a quick fix but there are lloads of ways to get by. This is a step on your journey. Hopefully it works. Also it is important to let others know how it is to live with mental illness. You are awsome and me and my son follow you and are allways inspired by you.
Love and understanding is all we need.
Glad you're here with us bro.
Hey Drex, I'm sorry to hear that this battle is also happening to you, but I want to thank you for sharing this video, gives me hope that I will be able to to find the tools I need to keep pushing myself for a better life. I few months ago I feel into the heaviest depression I have ever felt I almost came to terms with accepting that fact that there was no hope for me, But I managed push myself and open up to the ones I love about my problems and they helped me get the therapy, and I make self go because I know it is helping me, as well a getting physical exercise, one of the many new things that has helped me over the months was you, and your videos. Poi sparked a joy into my life I didn't know I could have anymore and you have always been inspiring me to get better, and teaching me the next moves in each of your videos, so I can keep pushing myself, and I notice is created the trend in me to do the same with my mental and physical well-being. So thank you again man. You truly are a blessing, and I'm grateful to know that your here with us.
Reading this really meant the world to me, Ian. Finding the tools to work through mental health issues is one of the hardest parts of it. Your mind is conspiring against you to see, feel, and know that the tools you have are helping you. I definitely had a point last year where it felt like there was no hope and I'm so glad I kept fighting. And I'm so glad that you're still fighting. I'm also glad that poi has helped you push through those dark places (it has helped me do the same). Keep up the fight--you are worth it!
@@DrexFactor Thank you ♥️, you keep going yourself man! Your worth it.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and I am so thankful you are still around!! Sending you love my friend!
I am glad you are still here. 💖YOU matter
I'm thankful that you are still here 🤗🤗🤟
Thank you very much for sharing your story, I think it will increase mental health awareness what will help a lot people who are struggling with mental problems. You made tons of amazing work which help thousands of people around the world so I was really shocked so successful person as you could have this problem. I’m sorry for your problems but your video somehow gave me hope for better times for people with similar ones. Very glad to have you with us!
That's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to share this. There is such a stigma around depression that we perceive it as a disease of the weak, the wounded, or the failing. It is a disease that also afflicts the strong, the resilient, and the successful. The more we push on those misconceptions, the easier a path we have toward the people that have it being able to face it without shame. I'm glad to hear this video helped to do that!
Thank you for sharing this. So many need to hear and learn more about depression, just for every person affected not to feel lonely...
Glad that you got over that moment of your life. we love you drex ❤️
Thank you ❤️
thank you drex my English not good
thank you do everything.
Thank you for sharing, I think the world sucks and everyone live will face depression in some point of their lives, even if they don't :) we all suck together
at least we can flow
u r amazing🧡
I will be searching for you later. I got some good stuff to tell you.