Very good idea!! I 100% agree, people are friendlier here than in Berlin that´s for sure. I´ve been living in CGN for over 30 years after living in Berlin for one year. Life has definitely changed for the better since then. So throw Berlin in the garbage can and move the Rhineland
Vienna's great, brilliant transport system, good to explore on a push-bike. I just wish I'd more time there. Koln is great. Again, great cheap transport system, cyclable as flattish, loads of bike lanes
Hello Lawrence! Nice to get an update from you. As for making friends: try to think of us Germans as shy rather than rude. So we are very bad at breaking the ice. That's also an explanation for our stares - we admire interesting or beautiful people, but are too shy to make the first move to get to know them. You make the first move and they'll eat out of your hand like neglected dogs! Try it.
I hear you and will try that. Thanks! But I have come into contact with some who are truly rude bordering on mean. Teachers who scowled at me all week cause they had to move rooms for me. Doctors' assistants who refused to try and communicate with me in even broken English when I couldn't understand what they were asking me to do (i mean, I'm trying to learn the language but i dont know everything yet...no reason to be sour about it). A father who laughed at me after their son screamed so loud in my face I jumped and moved away. No apology, no words to his son. Just some behavior I find rather unbelievable. But oh well...
@@LaRush62 Okay, that's bad. Unfortunately, the tone is generally getting rougher. I think too many people have allowed themselves to be infected by the naysayers and bad moods, there are hardly any optimists left ... The AfD and Trump are just symptoms of this general brutalization. I have broken off contact with my own mother because she has turned into a fury in her old age. Unfortunately, she continues to torment my sister, who looks after her, and I have to act as a vomit bucket for my sister and then listen to my mother's nastiness second-hand.
You sure do keep busy. Goodness. Making local friends is one of my biggest concerns about my pipe-dream move to Europe. Germany, Denmark, and The Netherlands are all high on my list of "want to move" countries, but they're notoriously difficult places to make local friends. Denmark in particular, I've heard a lot of folks say, friend groups form in school and basically remain for life. Breaking in to one of those friend groups is exceptionally difficult. And It think that's even for Danes. Add to that the fact that I'm not very good at making friends in the US, where I don't face a language barrier. I don't want to relocate to another country and just hang out with my fellow US expats. I can do that at home, without all the headaches of moving. I gather that Spain and Portugal (also high on my list) are a bit more welcoming, generally. Though I've heard it can still be quite difficult to make friends there, too.
As a German, I think you Americans (even those who already live here) think too much about friendship.* Why should we refuse to make new friends? But we are picky because friendship is a long term decision for us, we want to stay friends forever if possible. Trust has to be earned, that's what they say on both sides of the Atlantic, isn't it? So why should friendship be free when trust is the basis of friendship? Another aspect of failed attempts to make friends, in my humble opinion, is that Americans tend not to stay in one place for long. It is difficult to make friends with nomads who may move to a different city or even country any day … * Have you ever thought about the difference between “friendship” and “acquaintance”? We make a clear distinction between the two, while Americans seem to call any random encounter after a five-minute elevator ride a “friend”.
The friends i have, most I've had for decades...some since junior high school. We've all moved many times and still remain friends. But I believe we need to add new friends into our lives to keep life interesting and continue growing. For an extroverted, gregarious person like myself, I need people around me somewhat regularly. And since I'm alone, having people you can talk to who really know you and get you is essential. I have lots of acquaintances but they aren't the ones I call or hang out with on a regular basis. You have to be open to exploring a friendship if you're ever going to get to the point of trusting.
I am sorry for your experience with Germans. I think you are right, most of us are not friendly to foreigners and at least the older of us were educated not to be. On the other hand, I think we are less aggressiv than americans can get and perhaps that is also a good thing. Btw. we have several words for not beeing friendly, in Berlin ist is called "Bedliner Schnauze", in Munich "Bayrischer Charme" and in Vienna it is called "Wiener Schmäh". In all cases it is not meant as it sounds.
That's interesting that they have these different ...and rather colorful...terms for this. And I understand that many people were raised to feel this way, though if I lived according to the influence of some of my family, I would be a racist xenophobe. Thank goodness I'm not! I've certainly met some friendly Germans, though not many in Berlin, but only a couple have shown an interest in nurturing a friendship...and one of them is Swiss. And one of the others is leaving Berlin.
Very good idea!! I 100% agree, people are friendlier here than in Berlin that´s for sure. I´ve been living in CGN for over 30 years after living in Berlin for one year. Life has definitely changed for the better since then. So throw Berlin in the garbage can and move the Rhineland
Vienna's great, brilliant transport system, good to explore on a push-bike. I just wish I'd more time there. Koln is great. Again, great cheap transport system, cyclable as flattish, loads of bike lanes
Hello Lawrence! Nice to get an update from you. As for making friends: try to think of us Germans as shy rather than rude. So we are very bad at breaking the ice. That's also an explanation for our stares - we admire interesting or beautiful people, but are too shy to make the first move to get to know them. You make the first move and they'll eat out of your hand like neglected dogs! Try it.
I hear you and will try that. Thanks! But I have come into contact with some who are truly rude bordering on mean. Teachers who scowled at me all week cause they had to move rooms for me. Doctors' assistants who refused to try and communicate with me in even broken English when I couldn't understand what they were asking me to do (i mean, I'm trying to learn the language but i dont know everything yet...no reason to be sour about it). A father who laughed at me after their son screamed so loud in my face I jumped and moved away. No apology, no words to his son. Just some behavior I find rather unbelievable. But oh well...
@@LaRush62 Okay, that's bad. Unfortunately, the tone is generally getting rougher. I think too many people have allowed themselves to be infected by the naysayers and bad moods, there are hardly any optimists left ... The AfD and Trump are just symptoms of this general brutalization. I have broken off contact with my own mother because she has turned into a fury in her old age. Unfortunately, she continues to torment my sister, who looks after her, and I have to act as a vomit bucket for my sister and then listen to my mother's nastiness second-hand.
Asylum seekers are moving to Berlin.... other people are moving AWAY!
You sure do keep busy. Goodness.
Making local friends is one of my biggest concerns about my pipe-dream move to Europe. Germany, Denmark, and The Netherlands are all high on my list of "want to move" countries, but they're notoriously difficult places to make local friends. Denmark in particular, I've heard a lot of folks say, friend groups form in school and basically remain for life. Breaking in to one of those friend groups is exceptionally difficult. And It think that's even for Danes. Add to that the fact that I'm not very good at making friends in the US, where I don't face a language barrier. I don't want to relocate to another country and just hang out with my fellow US expats. I can do that at home, without all the headaches of moving.
I gather that Spain and Portugal (also high on my list) are a bit more welcoming, generally. Though I've heard it can still be quite difficult to make friends there, too.
As a German, I think you Americans (even those who already live here) think too much about friendship.* Why should we refuse to make new friends? But we are picky because friendship is a long term decision for us, we want to stay friends forever if possible. Trust has to be earned, that's what they say on both sides of the Atlantic, isn't it? So why should friendship be free when trust is the basis of friendship?
Another aspect of failed attempts to make friends, in my humble opinion, is that Americans tend not to stay in one place for long. It is difficult to make friends with nomads who may move to a different city or even country any day …
* Have you ever thought about the difference between “friendship” and “acquaintance”? We make a clear distinction between the two, while Americans seem to call any random encounter after a five-minute elevator ride a “friend”.
The friends i have, most I've had for decades...some since junior high school. We've all moved many times and still remain friends. But I believe we need to add new friends into our lives to keep life interesting and continue growing. For an extroverted, gregarious person like myself, I need people around me somewhat regularly. And since I'm alone, having people you can talk to who really know you and get you is essential. I have lots of acquaintances but they aren't the ones I call or hang out with on a regular basis. You have to be open to exploring a friendship if you're ever going to get to the point of trusting.
I am sorry for your experience with Germans. I think you are right, most of us are not friendly to foreigners and at least the older of us were educated not to be. On the other hand, I think we are less aggressiv than americans can get and perhaps that is also a good thing. Btw. we have several words for not beeing friendly, in Berlin ist is called "Bedliner Schnauze", in Munich "Bayrischer Charme" and in Vienna it is called "Wiener Schmäh". In all cases it is not meant as it sounds.
That's interesting that they have these different ...and rather colorful...terms for this. And I understand that many people were raised to feel this way, though if I lived according to the influence of some of my family, I would be a racist xenophobe. Thank goodness I'm not! I've certainly met some friendly Germans, though not many in Berlin, but only a couple have shown an interest in nurturing a friendship...and one of them is Swiss. And one of the others is leaving Berlin.